Saving Grace
by McRaider
Summary: They're more than just best friends, they're brothers...what if John and Rodney were brothers by adoption. McWeir, Sheyla: Final Chapter is up! What McWeir, Sheyla, Badman
1. Alone

Saving Grace  
McRaider  
Summary: He was just a boy, left along in this wide world alone, now he must learn to live with another family that he isn't sure he should trust, even though they seem to be willing to love him with open hearts and open arms.  
Author's Note: This...um kinda spawned. It orginally was going to be just Rodney as a kid in the Sheppard's home..then it took a life of it's own on...and well it's led me to all of this.  
Rated: PG-13 for language

Chapter One-Alone

He sat alone, in the cold wet rain in front of his house, drenched to the bone, knees pulled tightly to his chest as he sobbed, his father was dead. He didn't know why it should bother him so much, but it wasn't the death of his father that was causing such heartache to him, it was that he was alone. His mother; Gina had died two years ago, breast cancer ripping her from their lives.

Ronnie McKay had been a violent man before that, full of anger and hatred, but after the death of the only good thing in his life, Ronnie had turned far more violent than he had ever been before. Taking every last chance to beat on his only son, tell him how useless he was, blame the death of his wife on the child.

Jeanie had been smart, the moment she hit eighteen she had left the house, leaving a nine year old boy alone to defend himself. He had somehow survived a year, a year with his angry bastard father. Now the man was dead, Rodney held plenty of hate and anger towards his father, but like all children he desperately wished his father hadn't died, wished that he wasn't suddenly alone.

"Rodney, son, it's time to go," came the soft and all too kind voice. Rodney looked up with his bloodshot ocean blue eyes, tears welling at the brims. He was only a little boy, ten years old, he tried so hard to be like his father said and show the world he wasn't a cry baby, but he was so scared.

Miss Jennings was a kind woman, and had spoken with him on a couple occasions after severe injuries from his father that had landed him in the hospital. She cared for him, but he had always been too frightened, now she had no choice. It was time to take Rodney to the orphanage, and hopefully to a foster home that would be willing to care for a ten year old boy for awhile.

The boy nodded and slowly stood, she reached out and wrapped a blanket around his shoulders, sighing she pulled him close for a moment, allowing him to feel the warmth of another body. She was afraid he might be in shock, but seemed to be almost all too aware of what was really going on.

"Rodney, I already spoke to a family that said they would be willing to take you, I'm going to drop you off the day after tomorrow, is that all right?"

The big blue eyes looked up at her, and she felt her heart melt, no ten year old child should feel that much pain, be that alone in the world that he feels like he has to build up walls around himself to keep the rest of the world out. It didn't seem fair, nothing in this boy's life had been fair. Rodney was just one of those kids caught in the system who couldn't get any breaks, and he was only ten years old. She prayed that the family he was being sent to would help him get the breaks, that they would realize what a genius he was, and help him to find his place in the world.

"Jeanie…won't take me?" he whimpered. He wanted his sister, he had spent nine years worshiping her and the ground she seemingly walked on, but after last year she had pretty much disappeared.

Elaine knelt down in front of the boy, wrapping the blanket tighter around his shoulders and sighed, "sweetheart, your sister is already busy, she had a baby four months ago; she's barely making it herself, she said it would be best for you to stay in someone else' care.

"She was pregnant when she left?" Rodney spoke stunned.

Elaine didn't know what to say, this boy hadn't been stupid, he must have known his sister had left for a reason. Ronnie McKay wouldn't have tolerated his only daughter getting pregnant. If he hadn't killed her, he would have thrown her out anyway. At least she had gotten out in time to save the baby and herself. Unfortunately that left poor Rodney in a bit of a spot, but no one knew the old die of a heart attack. No one could have known, but Rodney was the one who would have to suffer now. Perhaps less than he was already suffering, but he was the child left.

"Yeah honey, she was, now come on, let's get you to the children's home and get you cleaned up, then we'll feed you and talk about your new family, okay?"

"Do they know I'm allergic to citrus?" Rodney asked suddenly, worried for his own safety.

Elaine grinned and nodded, "you bet they do honey, they know everything there is to know about you, including that you had your tonsil's removed when you were six and that your mom stayed in the hospital with you."

"Okay," he whispered.

Rodney allowed Elaine to lead him away from the empty shell of a house that he had occupied for six out of his ten years. After his father had been fired from his latest plant job he had fled to California to start over, which is where he resided…or where he had resided for these past six years. Rodney took one look back, the picture as the two EMTs rolled the stretcher with his father's dead body wrapped in a bag would forever be engrained in his mind.

Suddenly Rodney stopped, "wait, please!" Rodney let go of Elaine's hand and fled back into the house. He returned moments later with a picture frame in his hand. Elaine didn't need to ask, she had seen the picture many times. It was a picture of Jeanie, Gina and Rodney. Rodney had been five when it had been taken, it was before things had really gotten bad. Rodney cherished the picture as though it were a piece of gold. She wasn't surprised by the fact that he would go back now for it.

Elaine sat Rodney in the passenger seat of the sedan she had driven over here, she spoke to the police a final moment or two before climbing into the driver's side of the car. With one last gaze at the lonely boy; she started the car and pulled away from the house.

"They're names are Lauren and Luke Sheppard," Elaine said, trying to help him feel better.

He looked up at her, his dark sandy colored blonde hair plastered to his forehead, his skin pale in contrast to the beautiful blue eyes she could read so easily, "the foster people?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah, they're really good people, they've been fostering children for the past six years. Usually it's been little children, no older than six or seven. But Lauren said she would be thrilled to help you. They have one son, a eleven year old boy named John."

"He won't like me," whispered Rodney.

"Now how do you know?"

"Because they never do, can't I just stay with you?" it was the simplest of questions, one that nearly ripped her heart out. She sighed and reached out, squeezing his hand.

"Rodney, I've known you and your family for nearly a year, and if I could keep you as a foster child you know I would in a heartbeat, but I can't. I've got my own family to worry about, I've told you about Harry and Peter, they're only four and eighteen months old. I couldn't care for you and them. And yes I know you'd be good. You'd be a prince, but I just can't sweetheart."

"Is it stupid of me to miss my dad?" Rodney whispered.

"No Rodney, you were hurt by him but you still loved him," she looked over and could see the walls that had been built up over two years slowly start going into place.

Rodney had long since learned how to protect himself, although with Elaine she had managed to break down that brick wall of anger and frustration, now she just wished she could get him to open up to other people as well.

"John, their son, goes to Franklin Elementary school, you'll have to transfer there, but I doubt you'll have a big issue with that."

"I'm supposed to be in the fifth grade this year," he commented.

It was true, Rodney had taken the tests for fourth grade and passed them as well as some of the fifth grade, his father had agreed to let him skip ahead a year and be placed in an upper level fifth grade class. Elaine felt Rodney should really be in the sixth grade by now, but she wouldn't press the issue.

"They know, and you'll be in John's class."

"Sweetheart, I'm home!" came the call from the foyer. Luke Sheppard walked through the foyer into the living room, where his eleven year old son lay sprawled out on their couch reading a book. His feet propped up on the arm rest of the couch, "hey, Romeo, remove the feet please," he called to his only son.

John's head swiveled in a way only young pre-teen's could as he gazed at his father with his big hazel green eyes. A contagious grin split the boy's face and he quickly did as his father told, bounding off the couch to greet his father with his routine hug.

Luke grinned and swooped his boy up into his arms, "I missed you too buddy, did you have a good day?"

John was on summer vacation, and had spent part of it so far working at the Police station where Luke worked, however, lately the boy had been suffering a nasty cold and his mother had restricted him to the bedroom and the couch. John was finally getting over it.

"It was great dad! I got almost clean through my book," grinned the boy.

"And which book is that?"

"The Star Wars Trilogy dad! You know the ones that were made into the movies?"

"Yeah, I've heard of them, you like this stuff?" Luke was surprised neither he nor his wife enjoyed Sci-fi, it seemed to be a habit John had developed all on his own.

"It's totally great dad! Really, it's awesome. I wanna be in space one day!"

"Well, that's an admirable dream son, but I thought you wanted to be in the Air Force like your old man?" Luke said a little hurt as he shifted his son to his left hip.

"I do dad, but I wanna do outer space after I work in the Air Force, you know like you work on the Police Force now," explained the boy.

Luke grinned, he had retired from the Air Force three years ago after getting shot down in his helicopter, he had been lucky to walk away, but decided it was time to hang up his wings. He had joined the Police Force six months later after deciding he still needed to help people.

He was a little disappointed but thrilled that his son wanted to be in the Air Force like him. John had wanted to be in the Air Force since the first time his father had ever taken him up in a jet. John had been four at the time, and ever since he knew he wanted to fly.

"Let's get you through high school first okay kiddo, now where's your mother?"

"In the kitchen," Luke nodded and set his son back down on his feet.

"Okay, go wash up for dinner," he watched his son scamper off upstairs to get cleaned up. Luke grinned and turned to head into the kitchen and dinning room. His wife was setting the kitchen table, the food on the counter top prepared to be served.

"How was your day darling?" he asked as he pressed a kiss to her neck.

She giggled softly and turned in his arms, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist she squeezed then pulled away and smiled, "Very good, your son is dying to go to work with you again. I imagine I'll have to let him go pretty soon. Oh, I got a call from Elaine at Child Services."

"Really? Another kid?"

"Yeah…"

"How old?"

"Ten."

"Ten…don't we usually take toddlers? What's the kid's name?"

"His name is Rodney, and Elaine told me about his back story, oh Luke, I just couldn't say no."

"You always were a sucker for strays. Rodney…what's the last name?"

"McKay…"

"His father died earlier this morning of a heart attack, a couple of our guys were called over there. When they came back they said the boy was taken off with child services and that he wouldn't let anyone touch him but Elaine."

"Well, he's ours to care for now. He arrives the day after tomorrow," Lauren said simply looking at her husband.

"Does Johnny know?" Luke questioned as he finished setting the dinner table.

"Does Johnny know what?" their son inquired as he bounded into the kitchen, he headed to the fridge and pulled out the lemonade and poured his parents and himself a glass.

"No, not yet," grinned Lauren as she eyed her only son, "we are getting another foster child," she explained.

Luke pulled out the chair for his wife, scooting her in then sat at the head of the table. John took a seat as well and began to cut his food before asking his next questioned, "cool, how old?" John enjoyed the little kids, although the crying was annoy, he enjoyed having them around.

"Ten, he'll be staying in the guest room," Lauren answered.

"Sounds cool, when does he get here?"

"Six Wednesday evening."

"I can still go to work with dad…right?"

"Yep, I don't see why not, but please make sure your summer reading is done. We're not starting the year out badly."

John grinned, taking a bite of his grilled chicken he nodded, "it is, I asked Sergeant Blake to help me with it."

Lauren looked at her husband who simply grinned and shook his head. Lauren smiled, realizing how much the two were alike; John was his father's son, with the same dark raven hair and hazel green eyes, a thin toned form and a strong mind to match. However he had her cheeks, ears and nose. The freckles dotting his cheeks lightly were exactly like her's.

The conversation's trailed to the usual day actions, including one of the bad guys Luke had caught, and trailing to the possibility of taking John out to the airport this weekend for another ride in his Uncle Bill's jet. John had fallen in love with flying since the first day his father had taken him up in a jet. The sunlight began to fade through the house, a light that would soon become a beacon for the lost boy about to enter their family and their house.

TBC


	2. Coming Home

Chapter Two-Coming Home

In the day and a half that Rodney had been in the orphanage, the kids had already reeked havoc on the broken spirit. Two older boys had tried to beat him up, but their words were enough to damage the pour soul, causing Rodney to only recede further into himself, building his inner walls up that much higher. When Elaine had arrived at five Wednesday evening, she barely recognized the poor child. He brought his small duffle bag, tossed it in the back seat and climbed into the driver's side.

The sarcastic child, full of bite and arrogance, now sat in the passenger's seat of the sedan. His face pensive perhaps a little nervousness showing as he stared out the window. Elaine looked over at the boy and took a deep breath, praying this would be the only time she would ever have to drive him to a foster home.

"I'm only a call away from you…you know that right?"

"It's fine," he growled.

"Don't shut me out Rodney! This isn't my fault…"

"Of course not! It's no one's fault, it's just so easy to leave poor Rodney all alone! You and Dr. Byers are always telling me I need to open up more, how am I supposed to do that when everyone I try to get close to leaves me or dies!" he barked.

He was becoming bitter, feeling sorry for himself, but she wouldn't let him. She wasn't going to sit here and watch him turn into a bitter ten year old boy. Too cynical for his own good. Rodney was better than that, better than this. She pulled the car to a stop in front of the house and glared at him, "Rodney I am not leaving you! I'm trying to help you if anything; but I need you to cool your heels and lose the attitude. We will not go in until you do, I'm not going to let you treat these wonderful people badly. They're opening their hearts and home. You are a guest here and they're trying to help."

His face had returned to it's stony expression, his anger, and bitterness controlled. She sighed, sensing this would be a long evening, "Rodney, your best behavior," she reiterated.

"Fine!" He barked in return.

She shook her head and got his bag out of the back, taking it she handed it to him and led him up the walk way to the house. His face was blank, showing no signs of the fear and intimidation he no doubt felt. He was moving in with strangers, people he hadn't ever met before. Then again his father had been a stranger to him for his entire life, why should he suddenly feel any different towards these people, they were bound to be nicer to him than his father ever was.

Sighing she rapped on the large oak door and looked down at him, "I got it!" she heard a cry from the other side of the door. Suddenly it was flung open to reveal a raven haired boy. A taller man came up from behind the boy and placed his hand on his son's shoulders.

"Elaine, nice to see you again, you remember my son John. This must be Rodney, I'm Luke Sheppard," Luke said holding out his hand.

Elaine prodded her charge in the back until he got the boy to extend his hand in response and shake Luke's hand. Luke smiled softly and looked back at Elaine, "come on in, Lauren's just finishing up dinner, your welcome to stay."

"I can't, I'm just here to drop this little punk off," Elaine replied as she ran her hand over his silky hair. Sighing she knelt down in front of him, straightening his light summer jacket slightly and looked at him, "best behavior."

"I said fine," he grumbled again.

"Terd," she replied softly, "Rodney, I promise I will visit okay," she wasn't surprised when he simply shrugged, as though her leaving him here on someone's front door step didn't bother him. "Well, don't let anyone ever tell you that you aren't smart, we both know that isn't true. I promise to see you again, but if for some reason we don't, make me proud okay, I want to see your name in the papers one day for a good reason okay?"

A simple nod confirmed her statement, god she wanted to hug the little turkey; to give him all the love in the world. However, her job was to simply provide him with a good home and hope for the best. She looked into those blue eyes and knew that Rodney McKay was one little boy, one case she would never forget.

"Be good, and take care of yourself," with that she stood and shook Luke's hand. With one final glance at the boys she made her way back to her car.

"Well, are you hungry?" Rodney looked up at the man and nodded hesitantly. "John, would you please take Rodney's luggage to the guest room?"

"Yes sir," John said, taking the luggage from a reluctant Rodney.

Smiling a little sadly, Luke led the boy through the beautiful house. Rodney took it all in, memorizing every feature, every picture. Pictures were everywhere, pictures of John's various stages in life. Most of them had a plane somewhere in the picture. There were also pictures of Luke and his wife, that's the one Rodney found himself staring at for a moment. She was a beautiful woman, friendly and kind looking.

The kitchen was a warm yellow, a woman stood at the counter top, "Lauren," Luke called.

The pictures had done her no justice, she was more beautiful than Rodney could ever remember any woman looking. She had dark raven black hair and bright beautiful sparkling blue eyes, "you must be Rodney, I'm Lauren Sheppard, you can call me Lauren. I know this is probably all really overwhelming, but take your time. Are you hungry?"

"Sorta," he replied quietly, causing Luke to smile.

"Well, I heard from someone you liked Meatloaf and mashed potatoes. So I made you meatloaf for dinner, along with mashed potatoes and green beans, no lemon at all. We also have milk, which I thought would be the safest thing for you? Does that sound okay?"

"Yeah," he replied.

"Great, why don't you take a seat," the boy nodded and made his way over to the table, moments later John joined him at the table, making a sad attempt at social conversation, but Rodney quickly retreated into himself.

Luke and Lauren joined finally, and soon the family dug in. Lauren watched idly as Rodney shoveled the foot into his mouth as though he wouldn't get anymore for a mighty long time. She didn't have the heart to scold him, she figured she'd tell him later if he did it again, but for now he could eat as much as he desired. He finally slowed down, and looked up at Lauren. She smiled softly at him, hoping to crack the wall. He looked at her for a moment, trying to gauge the response he should give to her, finally he allowed a tiny smile.

"Can I be excused?" John said full of excitement.

"Ah ah, it's your turn to help with the dishes tonight young man," Luke scolded.

"Rodney, sweetheart, are you finished?" Lauren asked, watching as he looked down at his plate then slowly nodded.

"Yes ma'am, I s'pose so," he replied.

"Why don't I show you around."

He nodded and hopped off the chair he had been sitting on, Lauren looked at her husband, smiled and reached out. She honestly expected Rodney to pull away at the outstretched hand, but was pleasantly surprised when he reached back and took it tightly I his hand.

"You're going to be staying in the guest room, we have it set up currently for my mom and dad, but if you're up to it tomorrow, we'll go shopping and get whatever you want or need to make the room your own," she offered.

"Is John gonna come?"

"No, John goes to work with Luke during the summer, why?"

"He's bigger than me," Rodney whispered almost frightened.

"Give him a chance sweetheart, he's a good boy."

"I'll try…" he whispered as she led him into the room.

"Now, I know some things about you, but why don't you tell me more."

"Like what?" he questioned as he crawled up on the bed and sat down.

"I don't know, what's your favorite color?"

"Blue," he replied grinning.

"That's John's favorite color as well, although I think hunter green comes next in line."

"What's your favorite color?" Rodney asked, as though this were a game.

"Purple. What's your birthday?"

"April 18th, 1968," Rodney answered.

"Good, now I'll know, What's your favorite movie?"

"Well…I don't have one…I used to watch…I used to watch Sound of Music with my mom," he whispered, "before she died, but dad burned the tape." Tears welled in his eyes.

"We have that movie, if you'd like to watch it sometime?"

He looked up at her, "my dad told me crying was for babies," he whimpered.

"Oh honey," she lifted him into her arm;, as though he was a small child, and held him tightly as he leaned his head against his shoulder, "don't believe that for a moment. You can cry in this house whenever you need to. It's okay, you're not a baby, we all miss our moms," she whispered as he began to sob into her shoulder.

The broken hearted child buried his face into her shoulder, sobbing his heart out. Lauren didn't speak, she just rubbed his back, hoping to bridge some sort of gap there. It didn't seem fair that such a young child could have such a broken heart. She tried to think of her Johnny like this, and couldn't imagine her little angel so lost in a world of pain and sorrow.

Lauren realized ten or twenty minutes later that Rodney's breathing had evened out, proving he had cried himself to sleep. She removed his shoes and socks, and then slipped his thin body under the covers. Pressing a kiss to his forehead she looked at him for a moment. He looked so young and innocent. She couldn't understand how anyone could justify hurting such a sweet boy.

She left the room quietly, leaving the door open a crack so some light from the hall could filter through. She was pleased to hear her son laughing with Luke in the kitchen, she sat and watched him for a moment, he was growing so fast, she felt like she had no control anymore. She missed his clinginess, although there were days when he still needed a good hug from his mom.

By nine Johnny was tucked into bed and fast asleep, Mr. Independent got ready all by himself but still wanted his dad to tuck him in once in a while. Luke never hesitated; after all he missed when his son would beg him to read another story about the airplanes.

By eleven thirty Luke had retired for the night, as always Lauren would be the last to bed, she had to make sure her family was asleep before she headed off to bed. But she was just as over protective of her family as they were of her.

She had been sitting comfortably curled up on the sofa when she heard a creek on the stairs. It wasn't loud enough to be her husband, and John usually slept through the night, which left only one option. She looked over towards the door and grinned, there stood Rodney peering around the corner.

"Hey sweetie, what's wrong?" he moved over to the couch, but looked hesitant to join her, almost waiting for her to yell at him to go back to bed. That's what his father had always done, ever since his nightmares had started many years ago. Eventually he had taught himself to wake up before the nightmare got out of control.

"It's okay, come on, you can keep me company," she offered as she patted the spot on the couch beside her. Rodney instantly climbed up beside him, curling to her side. Lauren instinctively wrapped an arm around his slim shoulders, "you okay?"

"I couldn't sleep…"

"That's okay. I baked some apple pie while you were asleep, how would you like to share a piece with me and a glass of milk?"

The boy nodded almost instantly and Lauren grinned, sure that she had a little eating machine at her side. She plopped him down on one of the bar stools and took the pie out of the fridge.

"Do you like it warmed up in the microwave?"

"Yes ma'am," he replied quietly.

Lauren watched as the boy dug into the apple pie, seemingly thrilled to have the small snack.

"So, why don't you tell me a little more about yourself?"

"Like what?" he asked, suddenly curious what she'd want to know.

"I don't know anything, tell me about anything, you said you like music, do you play?"

"I've been taking piano lessons, but my teacher told me I should stop…I have no sense of the art, just the ability to play well."

"I'm sorry."

Rodney shrugged, "It was my only escape," he muttered.

"What Rodney? What's making someone so young draw into himself so quickly?" she asked, it was the ultimate question and she wanted the answer.

"I don't know. I guess I--" he sighed. "I guess I'm still trying to figure this out," he whispered almost wisely.

"Figure what out?" she probed, hoping for something more than what he was giving her.

"This…everything…you don't even know me, you never met me, yet Elaine said you wanted to take me in…why?" he asked looking at her seriously.

She was surprised to say the least, it was the most he had said to her and he sounded almost bitter, "What do you want us to be doing?"

"I don't know, I don't care…as long…" he paused, a loss for words.

"I think you care about everything that's happened to you, I think you care more than you want to believe."

"Maybe I do, but so what, I can't do nothing bout it anyway."

"Why would you believe that?" she questioned

"Because people are going to decide what's best for me, whether I like it or not. They're gonna tell me what to do, where to live, how to act. 'Cause they always have," his reply was so nonchalant that it almost frightened her.

"So you tell me--what do you want?" she repeated.

He sighed on a big breath. "I want for none of this to have happened."

She felt so sorry for him, but tried not to show it. "Well, that's kind of hard, since what you want is impossible. We can't do that--we can't turn back the clock, however much we may want to."

"Then maybe I want to understand what's happening. I want people to tell me the truth."

"I'll tell you the truth, Rodney. You only have to ask.," it was a simple statement, but she was still surprised she was having a conversation like this with a ten year old boy.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked promptly.

"Doing what?"

"All of this--thetaking me inand everything. What's in it for you?"

"Does there have to be a hidden agenda to everything?"

"There always is," he insisted. "Everybody's always looking for something, no one does anything without a reason."

"I didn't say we didn't have a reason, just that there's no hidden agenda--our reason is a simple one; we like you, we want to help you, we're able to help, so we are."

"But--why?" he repeated in an almost desperate tone.

"Why what? Why are we helping, because we can. Because we like you."

"How do you know? You've only known me four hours!"

"You can't analyze some things, Rodney, some things just are."

"No," he shook his head. "There are always reasons, always."

"Well, then maybe sometimes the reasons can't be explained."

"That's not an answer," he stated almost arrogantly.

"It's the only one I have--I'm sorry if it's not good enough for you."

"See, that's what I mean--treating me like I'm some idiot."

"I am not--I'm being honest with you. I don't know how to explain why someone likes someone else. Liking isn't something you can decide on, it just happens. Elaine came to us and told us about how you were hurting. That's what started it, I knew I wanted to help you."

"But what do you get out of it?"

"A friend--someone to talk to, maybe. And you may not realize this, but making someone else happy is a wonderful way to make yourself happy. If we can help make you happy, then we're pleased."

"Oh, I get it--you feel sorry for me." The words were bitter.

"No. I'm sorry for what's happened to you in your life, but I'm not sorry for you. You're a bright enough boy to be able to take any adversity and get over it--go on. I like you a lot, Rodney, but it's got nothing to do with pity. I fought that same fight for years of my own life."

"What do you mean?" he asked shocked.

"Look at me. What do you see? Describe me."

There was a pause. "You have raven colored hair, you're medium height, thin but not disturbingly so..." There was another pause. "You're pretty."

She smiled. "Thank you. Now do you want to know the rest of it?"

"What?"

"My mother died when I was two, my father killed himself a year later. I spent the next eight years of my life in an orphanage, very much like the one you have been in for two days. So many people who took me into their homes did pity me, until I met the Larson's, they were good honest people who cared about me for who I was. They adopted me. Four years later I met Luke, my sweet Luke he knew I was an orphan but he didn't care."

"But there's more to you than that."

"Exactly. Just like there's more to you than just being an orphan. But an orphan is what you are, however little you want to admit it. You can no more change that that I could when I was an orphan. You've got to stop caring that people know, or even think about, your being an orphan, or else that will become the only thing you are. If I were to believe everyone who tagged me as an orphan above everything, I neverwould have doneanything. But that's no kind of life. If you decide that all you are is an orphan because that's how everyone describes you, then you'll never let yourself be more than that. You'll always attract their pity, but not their love. And you won't ever let yourself become involved, because you'll be too afraid of being hurt by them. Sure there are going to be those people who will hurt you by being insensitive. But there are lots more who will be able to get beyond the label and see the real you. Once you stop defining yourself by one word, so will everybody else."

There was a long pause, and when Rodney spoke again, there was uncertainty in his voice. "So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that just because Elaine came to us and told us you needed a place to be, someone to love you, doesn't mean that's the only reason we wanted to take you in. You have to stop assuming that everyone only wants to pity you, or else you'll make them not even want to be around you. I want to be around you, Rodney, I want to get to know you. But I don't want to pity you. And I hope you can accept our friendship without looking for hidden motivations that aren't there. Because that will only frustrate you--and us," she said looking at the ten year old seriously.

"What if I don't get as lucky as you did?" Rodney questioned her.

"You found us didn't you?"

"Yes ma'am."

"That's the first step, we will never ever abandon you unless you no longer want to be here. You are welcome in our house any day you want Rodney, just say the word, and we'll let you free. But starting four hours ago when you walked into that house, you became a member of the Sheppard family, and nothing is going to change that."

"What if I…I want you to adopt me?"

"Then we'll do it, in a heartbeat. My adopted parents wanted me to be happy, and I wanted to make children like myself happy. That's why I became a foster parent, and that's why I would gladly become your adopted mother, if you wanted one."

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Don't be Rodney, you're young, so very young to be tortured this way. Now, I think it's time for you to go back to bed, we've got a long day ahead of us."

"You remind me a lot of my mom," Rodney whispered softly.

"Thank you, that means a lot honey," he smiled and hurried back up to his room.

Lauren watched him hurry off and shook her head, unable to believe he could be so cynical and yet so smart, he was a very smart young man. She was only about to find out how smart he really was.


	3. Flying High

Author's Note" Thank you for all the reviews! I'm glad you all are enjoying the story, it's going to jump a bit, simply because I'm writing what my heart is leading me to do. So please enjoy!

Chapter Three-Flying High

Rodney's first month in the Sheppard household had flown by all too quickly for the young boy, he was learning to become part of a family, although he still hadn't related much to John or Luke, but both tended to be gone a lot. They had given him opportunities to join them out father son outings, but most of the time, Rodney stuck by Lauren.

Lauren didn't much mind, she enjoyed the attention rather than sitting at home. It had worked out well, because Rodney now had plenty of clothes for the winter, his room was now a comfortable room to be in, he had placed up some pictures, including one he and Lauren had taken at one of the photo booths they had in the mall.

Rodney had been having a lot of fun so far, however his favorite night had been when Luke came home with John, declaring a new movie had come out, and instantly offered to take his wife and both boys to go see.

Star Wars: A New Hope had quickly sky rocketed to number one, in both Rodney and John's favorite movie category. Lauren had been pleased to watch the two of them bond quickly over that, although it was still rough, John was uncomfortable around Rodney and visa versa, the two didn't get along all the time, and when they argued they really argued loudly. Luke and Lauren had already split them up twice from a screaming match.

However for the most part the family was getting along just fine; Rodney was proving to be a handful even at ten, he was full of energy as well as John and they both tended to find trouble easily within moments.

Elaine had stopped by twice already to take Rodney out to lunch, pleased to know that the boy was getting along. He still had his moments, and he didn't speak about his father much, mostly his sister and his mother. Lauren was fairly sure that was one reason why Rodney had attached to her so quickly.

Rodney wasn't used to male bonding, the only man in his life had torn him down, beaten him physically, emotionally and verbally. Rodney feared if he got close to any man they would only do the same thing to him that his father had done. In a way, Rodney didn't feel worthy of a father's love, so he shied away from it, which was bothering Luke more than he cared to admit, at least to his wife.

However Lauren had to admit she was nervous about today, because today was the first day back to school, which left John back in fifth grade with all his friends, and Rodney in a fifth grade class with his foster brother. Neither one was very used to this, and it made Lauren a little more than apprehensive. She kept praying there wouldn't be a phone call in the middle of the day saying her foster son had been suspended or sent to the principal's office for a smart mouth.

It was like most mornings, rushed, she had to practically pull both boys out of bed that morning, they quickly showered in turn then came downstairs, where Luke was already busy getting ready to leave for work.

Lauren readied the boy's lunches as well as breakfasts, "now, you know the rules of school now, behave and please don't get into any trouble," she said.

"Don't worry mom, it's us," grinned John.

"That's what she's afraid of," spoke Luke as he pressed a kiss to his son's head and ruffled Rodney's hair. It was obvious the boy still wasn't sure about his foster father's open affection, so Luke still gave him the needed space, hoping that in time Rodney would warm up to him.

"With my luck they'll pop some test on us," grumbled John as he finished up his breakfast. Rodney watched the boy head back upstairs to brush his teeth.

"What's wrong Rodney?"

"Nothin', I just…I hated being around the other students, but I love to learn…I can't imagine not learning."

"I know, I've watched you read nearly every book in Luke's library this summer," she stated simply.

"Am I weird?"

"Rodney, heavens no, you're just ahead of most of the kids in your class, that's not your fault."

"Thanks," he whispered.

School began as any other class day did, they did their usual study of math, history, English, and other various courses, but Rodney was quickly finding himself bored.

"Mr. McKay, could I please speak to you," the teacher called from up at the front of the room. Rodney could feel everyone's eyes on him as he walked up to her desk.

"Son, you're not paying attention."

"I know…I'm sorry…but I'm bored."

"Rodney…"

"Honest Mrs. Kaufman, the math is easy, and I've read books about this history for years…the English…"

"Rodney, have you taken any placement tests?"

"Yes ma'am, I took one last year, it told me I was supposed to be in the fifth grade."

"What grade did you skip?"

"Fourth…"

"Rodney, I don't usually do this, and I certainly don't tolerate students not paying attention in class, but I'd like you to stay inside for recess okay?"

"Yes ma'am," he whispered as if he were in trouble.

When recess rolled around Rodney watched everyone file out of the room, it was no more than ten minutes later when Mrs. Kaufman was leading him down to the principal, "Stay here okay, I'll be right back, don't worry you're not in trouble."

Mrs. Kaufman moved into the office of the school, Mrs. Peterman looked up at the younger woman and smiled warmly, "someone isn't giving you trouble on the first day…are they?" she said grinning.

"Mrs. Peterman, I have a young student, he's supposed to be in the fourth, but he passed a test that placed him in my class. We've done several things today alone…I don't think he belongs in my class."

"You want me to put him back into the fourth grade class?"

"No…I want to put him in the sixth grade class, Mrs. Peterman, he's the smartest kid I've seen in years, and I've only known him half a day. He told me he was bored, I looked over all of his math problems on the little quiz we took to see what I needed to cover, he passed it and then some."

"I'll have to give him another placement test."

"It's the least he deserves Mrs. Peterman, he doesn't belong in this class."

"Leave him with me, I think I have a few extra tests floating around, no sense in keeping him in your class longer."

"Thank you Mrs. Peterman," Mrs. Kaufman opened the door and looked at Rodney. "Rodney, come in here a moment."

Twenty minutes later Rodney was sitting at a small desk in the principal's office taking a placement test. They had explained that he didn't need to know all the answers, but he had to do his best. Mrs. Kaufman returned to her class shortly after Rodney started the class.

"Mrs. Kaufman…where's Rodney?" John asked.

"He's down in the office son, don't worry about it okay," she smiled softly.

John eyed her then calmly returned to his desk, curious to where his foster brother had disappeared to. It was nearly another hour before Rodney rejoined the class, he slunk into his seat and eyed Mrs. Kaufman, trying to decide if he was thankful or terrified. He had a note in one hand to take to his foster mother. Would they hit him, would they yell and scream at him.

Rodney spent the rest of the afternoon being terrified out of his mind, he and John rode home on the bus, although he said nothing to John. They were met but Lauren at the front door, that's when Rodney held out his hand and looked at her honestly.

"What's this?" she asked looking at him.

"A not from the principal," he murmured.

Lauren turned pale, she was worried, praying it wasn't what she thought she opened up the note. Her eyes went from terrified to relieved in a matter of seconds. She then looked up at the ten year old.

"You know what his means?"

"Um…yeah sorta…."

"It means you're starting the sixth grade tomorrow Rodney."

"Yeah…that's what I thought…I don't know what to do?"

"Your best honey, that's all we'll ever ask of you. According to Mrs. Peterman…you did quite well on your test."

"Just shy of the seventh grade," he whispered.

"You're going to be the youngest sixth grade, are you ready for that?"

"I was already the youngest fifth grader, might as well take a step up," he said shrugging.

"Come here honey," she pulled him into a tight hug, one which gladly accepted.

"Wait a minute, are you telling me that he's going to be ahead of me in school?" John was stunned, apparently this geek was more of a geek than he ever thought possible.

"John, be nice."

"He's going to make me look like an idiot!" growled John.

"John!"

"You are suck a geek!" yelled John as he ran up the stairs in a huff.

Rodney looked at Lauren, sadness filled his eyes, "I don't wanna be smart…"

"Of course you do sweetheart, John's just having a rough time believing this. He's very smart, almost as smart as you…the difference he doesn't apply himself because he doesn't want to, you had nothing better to look forward to but school most of your life. You two grew up in very different circumstances. In one way your life was worse because what you had to deal with was harsh, but it made you apply yourself to get ahead of everyone. In one way John's life has been tough too, because he has to work for everything. He is very smart."

"He's good at math. He doesn't see it, but I do, he can spout off numbers within seconds of getting the numbers, I noticed it today in math class."

"I'm very proud of both of my geniuses."

"Really?" Rodney sounded surprised.

"Of course I am," she pressed a kiss to his forehead and smiled, "want to call your foster father?"

"He won't be mad at me?"

"He'll be thrilled, come on," Lauren led him over to the phone. She dialed the number, she spoke to Luke for a moment before handing the phone over to Rodney who was now sitting on the countertop.

"Hi Luke," Rodney grinned.

"Hey kiddo, Lauren tells me you have good news?"

"I took a test today…I tests outta elementary school," he said grinning.

"Wow! That's pretty smart, cool, so when do you start middle school?"

Lauren smiled softly as she watched Rodney speak with Luke animatedly. Sighing she headed upstairs to take care of her other unruly child. She opened the door slowly, where John had thrown himself on his bed.

"You know, you could be in the sixth grade too if you applied yourself more."

"I know…I'm sorry for acting like such a jerk mom…he's…it's so easy for him, he didn't have to try on any of our tests today. He was done within five minutes of like all of them."

"I know, and while I realize it's frustrating you have to think about how Rodney feels. He just started here at school with you, and now he has to go to middle school. At least he was safe with you. But you can also imagine it like this, if you ever have trouble in math, now you have a super genius to help you out."

John grinned a chuckled softly, "mom…are we adopting Rodney?"

"I don't know, your father and I have spoken about it…what do you think?

"I think he's an annoying pain in the…butt, but I'd like a brother."

"Good, because you may get one someday."

"I love you mom," John looked over at his mother, how deeply he adored her.

"Sweetheart, I love you too," she pressed a kiss to his forehead, then headed back down the stairs, grinning when she heard their ten year old foster son talking animatedly still with his foster father.

Perhaps this was just what they needed, she smiled when she heard Rodney bid a goodbye to Luke and hang up the phone. The ten year old hopped down form the countertop and grinned at her.

"He says he'll be home in an hour."

"Good," she said grinning as he ran upstairs, no doubt to talk with John.

Lauren was making dinner when her husband finally arrived home, she had been listening to the laughs from her two boys most of the afternoon. She grinned as she felt a pair of strong arms slip around her waist, "where's our resident genius?" he asked grinning.

"Upstairs, talking with John, they've been up there for hours talking about everything I can possibly think of. He was so happy after he got off the phone with you," she said turning around in her husband's arms.

"He's a good kid, I'm very proud of him, and I told him so."

"Good, he deserves to hear it."

"Dad!" John yelled as he and Rodney ran down the stairs, Luke chuckled and grabbed both of them up in his arms.

"How are my two favorite kids today?"

"We're your only kids dad," stated John.

"I sure hope so, hey, I have an idea, how about this weekend we go to the Air pad again."

"Can I come?" Rodney asked.

"Sure can kiddo, wouldn't dream of going without asking you if you wanted to come."

"Is Lauren coming?" Rodney asked.

"No sweetheart, why don't you three go out and make it a guys day out thing," Lauren replied, knowing this was exactly what Rodney needed.

"O…okay," Rodney hadn't been alone with either Luke or John for very long, he still seemed nervous around them, but Lauren was determined to get Rodney to feel comfortable around her other two favorite men.

Saturday arrived quickly for the three Sheppard men; Thursday and Friday proved to Luke and Lauren that Rodney was truly a talkative child when given a reason to talk. Coming home after middle school both days he had been a giant ball of energy, more than willing to tell both his foster mom and dad all about school that day.

Lauren wasn't oblivious to the way her husband was relishing in the attention from his young foster child, he was loving every moment, knowing he was getting closer to the boy everyday.

Saturday morning came, and Lauren was already wide awake by five when she heard the door creek open, she was expecting it to be John, who would do his usual pouncing on his dad. But to her surprise it was both of them. John was hanging back eyeing his dad, as Rodney crept close. Seconds later the frail body hurled himself on Luke.

There was a fit of giggles from both boys and from one grown man, as he lifted his foster son into the air as though the boy was flying. John joined Rodney on sitting on top of their father as they eyed him.

"Luke I love you dearly, but if you don't get those two boys out of our room, you won't be sleeping here tonight," she joked softly.

"Got it," he reached over and pressed a kiss to his wife's cheek, then ushered his two boys out of the room.

Lauren smiled to herself, glad that Rodney was beginning to feel like a part of the family. It was another hour before Luke left with his two boys in tow.

The Air Force strip in California was beautiful, right by the ocean, Greg Marlow raised his hand in a wave to Luke, "Luke, what's happenin' bring Johnny back for another fly?"

"I did, but I brought my son Rodney with me this time. He's a little nervous Greg, so if you don't mind, I'd like to take him up."

"Sounds good to me, I can probably take this squirt up in my jet, you ready to go Johnny?"

"Can I drive Greg?"

"We'll see," Rodney watched the two hurry off to one of the jets. He turned and looked up at Luke who smiled, holding his hand tightly Luke grinned.

"Do you trust me?" Luke asked calmly.

Rodney nodded and smiled a reassuring smile, small but reassuring none the less. Smiling Luke led him over to one of the many jets in the hanger, "when I was eighteen I joined the Air Force, my dad was in the Air Force, so it seemed like the right thing to do…"

"John wants to be in the Air Force," Rodney said as Luke placed him on the near by countertop.

"I know he does, something Lauren hasn't quite forgiven me for just yet. I retired shortly after John was born, and then became a Police Captain, but I used to fly one of these jets nearly every day of my life before John was born."

"Is it safe?"

"Pretty safe, everything is dangerous, driving, flying in planes, walking across the street."

"I won't get sick?"

"You shouldn't, this will be a real easy ride, I promise, I won't pull any thing mean on you…this time, if you like it…maybe I will next time, so wanna fly with me?"

"Um..yeah," grinned the boy.

"All right, put this on your head and strap it down, then we'll strap you into the suit."

"Can I tell you a secret?" the boy asked as he settled the helmet over his head.

"Sure buddy," Luke replied.

"I wanna be a member of NASA, you know the program that goes into outer space. Ever since I saw a video of Neil Armstrong walk on the moon…I've wanted to do that. I wanna go into outer space."

Luke grinned and put a hand on Rodney's shoulders, "I don't doubt for a single moment that you couldn't do it son."

"Can I tell you somethin' else?"

"Sure thing," Luke said as he began to help Rodney into his suit.

"Dad hit me when I told him…said I wasn't smart 'nough for it…but I think he's wrong…he is…ain't he?"

Luke sighed and knelt down in front of the boy, zipping up the suit he looked at his foster son and grinned, "he was never more wrong in his entire life. Rodney, I believe if you put your mind to it, you can do anything you want to. You're going to go far in life, you and Johnny both."

"Can I call you dad?" it was a sudden question. One Luke hadn't been expecting for a long time, if ever. He looked up at the boy, stunned to silence. He had to bite his lip to keep from tearing up. He allowed a broad smile to cross his features.

"If you're comfortable with calling me dad, then I'd be honored."

"My father…wasn't a dad, he was a father, a man who kept me at arms length to protect himself…and perhaps me. You're a dad, you aren't afraid to hug me or John…I want you to be my dad."

"Well good, because I wouldn't be prouder to call anyone son but you and Johnny."

Rodney simply grinned, Luke chuckled and lifted the boy up into the cockpit, "okay buddy, strap yourself in, real tight now, let me get into my jump suit, then I'll be up to check it."

Luke suddenly couldn't wait to get home and tell his wife about this, about being called ad by two little boys now. He hoped John would be okay with this, after all they had planned on asking to adopt Rodney next year sometime. Perhaps this was a sign from the boy that it was okay.

Moments later Rodney and Luke were rolling, Luke pointed to the jet already in the sky, "there's your brother."

"Can he fly the plane already?"

"Well…legally, no I've been trying to get Greg to stop letting him pilot, but I'm afraid that boy has other ideas. He wants to be an Apache fighter," Luke said smiling, "ready?"

"I guess…" Rodney lot out a joyful laugh as his new dad took the plane up into the air, and together they enjoyed the moment of beauty in the sky.


	4. I once caught Mono

Author's Note: This takes place some time later, obviously I felt the need to move on, that's not saying I can't be persuaded to add various little snippets. Just for the record, Chapter five won't be up until well...I actually write it. All the chapters there after are pretty much finished, but Chapter five is really the hardest chapter to write at the moment and I'm busy with work and packing! So please read and review so I can feel the need to finish that chapter :)

Chapter Four: "I Once caught Mono by kissing a Girl in my Algebra Club"

"Mom we're home!" John called as he closed the door behind himself and his adopted brother.

They had adopted Rodney two years earlier, shortly after he had turned fourteen. Now they were both teenagers, and were officially hitting the fun years, Rodney was a Freshman in High school, and John had finally caught up with him, skipping the Seventh grade due to his grades on the placement tests.

They were now neck and neck for top students in their class, although it was fun to duke it out during school, anyone who knew them well, knew that at home they were always sitting on the living room floor reading over homework, double checking one another's work and making sure every grade they earned was deserved and generally equal.

"John, I'm not deaf, please don't yell," Lauren called as she entered the foyer and smiled at her two boys. They had both shot up in a year, John was now nearing 5'11, and Rodney was now 5'8, they were both handsome, although John was working harder on sports and women, while Rodney tended to go after dumb blondes, who generally didn't last very long.

"Sorry mom," John said grinning sheepishly.

"It's all right, Rodney are you okay?" Lauren questioned, pressing her hand to her son's forehead.

He was a little warm, and he looked exhausted, "fine, I just need a nap," he replied.

"All right, well if you need anything, just call honey," the teenager nodded and headed upstairs.

"He's been like that all day," commented John.

Lauren smiled softly, John was immensely over protective of his younger brother, and Rodney adored him. The two had become so close in the four years they had lived together. At first they had argued, but now their arguments were more like play fighting, or small disagreements.

"He didn't eat breakfast, you two were in such a hurry today," Lauren said looking at him.

"I didn't see him at lunch either. He was shaking the entire way home," John explained.

"Oh dear, this doesn't sound good."

"It's nothing to terrible, I'm going to call Dr. Jackson, see if I can arrange an appointment."

"Okay, I'm going upstairs to work on homework," John spoke as he headed upstairs as well.

Dr. Jackson pulled the stethoscope away, and reached his hands under Rodney's throat, he sighed and smiled a little sadly. He had told Lauren to bring the boy in, his last patient having just left for the day, Dr. Jackson had an opening. He eyed the wayward teenager.

"Well Lauren, your son has two problems, one more severe than the other…Rodney did you eat anything at all today?"

"Maybe a granola bar," Rodney replied looking up at him, his face pale and drawn, he felt so weak and tired.

"Well, it's important that you eat at least three meals every day Rodney, you suffer from a condition called Hypoglycemia, it's when the blood sugar in your body becomes too low to energize you. Now before you question me, that's only half the reason you're so exhausted. Hypoglycemia is easily treated with a normal amounts of food everyday. You can't skip meals son, you shouldn't in the first place, but it could kill you."

"I thought you said it's not serious…"

"No I said you have one condition that's a little more severe. This one is the bad one, if you're not careful your blood sugar can drop low enough to send you into a reaction that can cause you to lose consciousness, could cause a seizure or even a coma. It's the severe, but it's not uncommon. When it's more mild you ten to be irritable, jittery or nervous, anxious, you may feel like your almost drunk. As I said this doesn't seem too bad right now, we can give you medication, but I don't want to put you on anything for something that I know you can control son. Just take your time and eat. We'll start with this, its sugary apple juice, it probably won't taste very good, but you still have to drink it. Your mom knows how to treat that, so don't worry. Now the second reason you are feeling so tired is you have a viral infection called mononucleosis. Commonly known among teenagers as the Kissing Disease, it isn't fatal, it's just going to make you very sick and very tired. It similar to the flu that lasts longer than a week. This can last anywhere from two to three weeks. Then you take another week off to make sure you won't give it to anyone else."

"You mean I caught this by kissing someone!"

"You tell me Rodney, there are only two common ways for kids to get this, one is by kissing someone, another is your immune system is already low when the viral infection creeps up on you."

"I got it from kissing someone," he murmured.

"That's what I thought, it wouldn't happen to be April Bingum...would it?" Dr. Jackson said grinning.

"I plead the fifth," he muttered.

"I kinda thought so. Either way, you're going to be tired, you'll have a fever and a sore throat, other than that, you'll be fine with a lot of rest, and when I say a lot I mean a lot. You aren't even gonna feel like getting out of bed a lot of the time."

"I already feel like curling up and sleeping away the day," stated Rodney.

Lauren smiled softly and pushed the hair back from her son's forehead, "all right then, are we free to go David?"

"Yep, lot's of rest Rodney," with that Lauren ushered her son out of the office.

He sat down in the truck and curled up on the passenger's side of the car, "was it worth it?" Lauren asked grinning.

"What?" Rodney asked.

"The kiss, was it good?"

"Mom!" Rodney cried horrified she could ask such a question.

"I'm just asking, I would hate for you to be bitter about a kiss that gave you a month off of school."

"Yes," he replied after a few moments.

"Rodney, sweetheart, I have no problem with you dating, seeing or kissing girls…preferably if you're dating them. But kissing tends to lead to other things…"

"Mom, you are seriously not talking about sex with me after I got mono from a kiss!"

"Sweetheart, I'm just mentioning it."

"It's mentioned…don't worry, no girl would sleep with me anyway," he murmured.

"Why do you say that?"

"You don't believe in privacy do you?" it wasn't an angry retort just a retort. Lauren smiled over at him.

"Honey, I've watched you grow for four years, from a meek sarcastically little boy to quite an amazing young man, albeit your still somewhat sarcastic, but I love you, and I think I can say I know you the best."

"Mom, that's why no one wants to date me! They think I have an ego."

"Baby, that's because you do, I'm not trying to be mean, but you're putting up that ego to protect yourself, you did it with us at first. Ego's are okay to have, but not when their blow out of proportion."

"What's wrong with me…other than that?"

"What do you mean?" she asked looking over at the teenager.

"Jennifer, this girl I really liked, she was my friend, for a long time, I mean close friend, I was about to ask her out, and the next day she's seeing John."

"Honey, that's part of life, you can't wait forever with girls, and some girls just want to be friends."

"I'm not angry at John, it's not his fault, but still, that's not fair."

"No it's not, but John form what I heard John dumped her when he found out you liked her. That says something."

"I know."

"Good," she pulled up in front of their house and smiled, "okay sweetie, upstairs to bed."

"Oooh, are you going to wait on me hand and foot?"

"Not if you sit in here, now up," Rodney grinned as he tiredly made his way upstairs.

John came in ten minutes later, and looked at his brother, grinning, "did you get mono?"

"Shut up," stated Rodney rolling over.

"Awww, come on, you're no fun. I'm just screwin' with ya," grinned John as he came to join his brother on the bed.

"I will hit you," Rodney growled.

"Will not, you don't have enough energy, and besides I'd kick your ass," joked John.

"You'd better watch your language, mom catches you saying that she'll kick your ass," replied Rodney grinning.

"So you up to much of anything?" John asked causally as he leaned against the back of the bed.

"Sleeping, that's about the extent of it."

"Oh, sorry to hear that, well…wanna play chess with me after a little nap?"

"Not particularly."

"You're such a pleasant person," John joked as he headed out of the room. Rodney smiled slightly and turned over, closing his eyes and allowing his dreams to take over his mind.

A month flew by all too slow for Rodney, although he slept ninety percent of the time, he played several games of chess with John, when John wasn't catching him up on homework.

That drove John nuts out of the entire ordeal, Rodney missed an entire month of school and he barely had to work to catch up, he had done all his work, even the class stuff, and by the time he returned to school he was only behind by two days. Rodney returned to school and vowed never to kiss another girl ever again if it meant lying in bed feeling like he was going to die…the vow lasted nine days and two hours, before he got his first girlfriend.


	5. Changing Perspectives

Author's Note: Twenty Six days left until college, sometimes Ican't believe it's really going to quick. I will do my best to get all my current works in progress up in this time, don't want to leave you hanging, don't expect a lot of updates the last two weeks in August I'll be trying to get used to living on campus and all that jazz. Thanks for being so paitent on this one, I went through a wee bit of writers block. This is the last chapter with the guys as...well boys. We'll be moving onto episodes and such doesn't that just sound like so much fun! -Steph-

Chapter Five: Changing Perspectives

One would think after fifteen years of service to the Police Department and twenty-five years to the Air Force, that Lauren would be used to late nights or worrying and waiting for her husband to come home. When he had been promoted to Captain her worries had decreased , knowing now most of her husband's work load would go more towards paper pushing and watching over other officers than being in the line of fire.

Today wasn't one of those days however. John and Rodney were both fast asleep in their rooms, oblivious to the fact that their father was nearly an hour late coming home from work. Luke had called and said that he would be home later because he had to go check a crime scene. That had been three hours ago, she assumed when he said late he meant fifteen, perhaps twenty at best, but this was driving her nuts.

It was the one thing she hated the most about her husband being an officer, waiting every day in fear for that one single phone call, the one that would announce her husband had died, and that she would be a widow with two teenage boys who desperately need their father to keep them going in their lives.

A mother worries about her children constantly, it's a mother's job, however another part of her feared John's desire to join the Air Force, to become a pilot. She knew the risks, the boy already had his pilot's licenses and since Greg's death a year ago, he had inherited the simple jet that Greg had owned since he was John's age. She was terrified, John graduated from high school less than a year, and in eight more months he could legally sign up for the Air Force. She felt like he was leaving her so quickly, like they both were.

Rodney was sixteen and was a senior in high school like John, while John was seventeen graduating from high school. Rodney already had several schools offering him scholarships and chances to come and get his degree, but she was fairly sure he knew he wanted to go into the space program. Which meant he may join the Air Force to join the space program. Although she couldn't see her little Rodney as an Air Force pilot, she could see him fixing or building a jet, but not piloting one.

She was stunned to hear the phone ringing, and realized she had slipped into a light sleep; she picked the phone receiver, "Sheppard residence, Lauren speaking."

"Lauren…it's William Hailstone…"

"Will? What's wrong, where's Luke?"

"I wanted you to know before you heard about it on some television station…he was shot."

"How many times?"

"Twice, once in the stomach and once in the chest…Lauren, I'm so sorry honey…"

"Where are they taking him?" she spoke frantically, clinging to the phone as though it were her only life line.

"Memorial General. Lauren it's bad…"

"We'll be there as soon as possible."

"Let me come pick you…"

"No! Stay there, I want something, anything from you when I get there, and it best not be that my Luke is dead!"

"He's too stubborn to die Lauren."

"Thank you Will…" with that she hung up the phone and hurried up the stairs. She stopped in front of John's door, how do you tell a boy, any age, that his dad isn't invincible. She knew John was no fool, but like most little boys he worshiped the ground his dad walked on, and she knew John thought his dad was superman. John hadn't been around the first day back from war, he hadn't been present for so many things. Luke wasn't invincible he was just more careful now that he had little Johnny. Of course Johnny wasn't so little any more.

"John," she pushed the door open, John was lying on his bed, stomach down, he opened his hazel green eyes to peer at his mother.

"Hmmm?" he mumbled.

"Your dad…honey, I need you to get dressed and warm the car up."

"Mom," he said suddenly sitting up and looking at her.

"Sweetheart, please don't ask questions, just go," John paused, looking at her he quickly nodded.

Lauren headed into the other room, where her other son was also sound asleep, she could remember the early days when he had arrived, for awhile it was amazing if they could even get Rodney to sleep. Now he and John seemed to sleep all the time, she assumed it was part of being a teenager.

"Rodney, sweetheart, wake up," she shook the teenager awake. Rodney's eyes jolted opened and he looked around, suddenly afraid of who on earth would be waking him this late at night. He finally met Lauren's eyes and realized where he was.

"What's wrong?" he questioned in an obvious tone that was confused.

"We have to go, get dressed, and don't ask any questions," she demanded.

He nodded and hurried grabbed his pants from the end of the bed. She headed out of the room, less than ten minutes later the two boys were awake, and she had ushered them to the car. The ride was silent, John drove with his mother at his side and Rodney awake in the back. As their mother had requested they didn't ask any questions they didn't speak.

John pulled into the parking lot at the hospital and looked at Rodney, "take her inside and wait, I'll be in after I park the car," John said sounding more like Luke than he ever had in his entire life.

"Kay," Rodney whispered, he opened Lauren's side and helped her out of the car.

Rodney had never seen his adopted mother so fragile as she clung to him for support. However, Rodney knew one thing, he planned to care for her, watch out for her…just like she had when he had first arrived there. He would give her the support she craved at this very moment, knowing she would need it.

John joined them a few moments later, it wasn't hard to figure out where their father was, several other police officers were already waiting in the room, even a couple of medics were seated in the chairs looking depressed.

"Lauren," came a strong voice.

The woman looked up to see William, she instantly threw herself in his arms, hugging the man for all he was worth. He felt like another member of the family, she knew Luke adored Will as though this young man were one of his own.

"How is he?" she asked, biting back the tears.

"They took him to surgery a few minutes ago…It's gonna be okay Lauren, he's a strong man…"

The two boys sat silently in the uncomfortable plastic chairs at her side, neither looking at each other, afraid they might see something in the other's eyes that they didn't want to see.

It was another six hours before a doctor finally showed up, most of the officers had dwindled down at a few, including William. As much as Lauren knew the boys should head off to school, he didn't have the heart to tell them as much. She just kept her two boys by her side and together they all waited.

"Lauren?" spoke a strong voice. They all stood together, John gripping his mother's hand, aware of his brother by his side.

"Mark, how is he?" Mark Sloane was an old friend of the families, he and Luke had been in the Air Force together. Mark had a son the same age as John, and they were also close.

"Well…he's alive, the next several hours will tell us if he'll make it or not. But he's a strong guy, we've seen him survive much worse than this. I think he'll be just fine."

"Can we see him?" it was Rodney who spoke up, who seemed by concerned.

"Sure son, come on," he led the family of three down the hallway, "he's in rough shape right now, I'm not going to lie to you about that, but I honestly think he can hear you."

"Why don't you boys go both visit with him for a few minutes while I talk to Mark, then Captain Davis will drive you guys to school."

"Mom…" John began to argue

"Not today John okay, you're both going to school, you graduate at the end of this year, I'm not letting you guys miss school when all you'd be doing around here is waiting and worrying."

"Yes ma'am," replied John and Rodney as they slowly moved into the room. Luke was on a breathing tube and had all sorts of wires connected to him. "Looks like he could get cable TV," muttered John.

Rodney cracked a small smile as he moved closer to his adoptive father. Reaching out hesitantly he gripped the man's hand and sighed… "I've never been one for sentiment…I suppose you guys know that by now…but Dr. Sloane says you can hear us…and I want you to know that you've saved my life. Over and over again, you were there for me when I fell. You've picked me up a million times, and for that I owe you so much."

"Dad…you know teenagers, we wait until we can't say it to say what we've always wanted to say. Rodney and me…we're the people we are because you and mom have raised us a certain way. We're going to do great things in the world dad, which is why you have to wake up. Because you have to be around to see us do those great things. You have to be okay so you can see Rodney go into outer space, and me pilot my first real jet."

"You can already do that," murmured Rodney.

"Rodney," John said looking over at him.

"Sorry…dad what we're trying to say is…we've heard every word of every lecture you've ever given us, and while we may hate them at the time, we love that you're willing to sacrifice everything for us and to teach us good morals. We love that you're a real father doing real things and loving us," Rodney spoke.

"You boys ready to go?" Lauren said gently from where she stood by the door. The two boys looked over at her, sure she had no doubt heard every word based on the tears in her eyes.

"Yeah…I think we're ready…" whispered John smiling.

"Mom!" yelled John as he shoved his younger brother out of the way to get to the mirror.

"Hey!" Rodney yelled back as he tried to make his way back in front of the mirror.

"Boys!" barked Luke Sheppard. He steadily walked into the room, sporting only a cane since the accident five months ago. After nearly twenty four hours unconscious Luke had awoken to the sight of his two favorite boys sleeping at either side.

It had been a long and winding road, Luke hadn't quite the police force, however he was made Police Commissioner, to ensure he would stay out of the way of bullets but he'd still be in on the action.

"Sorry," they both replied sheepishly.

"John, there's a mirror in your room, stop torturing your younger brother and go ask your mother to help you in there," Luke said as he playfully shoved his eldest son out of the room.

Rodney turned and smiled, Luke grabbed the tie and gently began to tie it, "I'm proud of you," Luke stated as he met the boy's eyes.

"Thank you," Rodney replied as he watched his father pull the fabric through another loop, which was testimony that no matter how many times Rodney and John tried they would never get this stupid tie down.

"You've come along way son, along way from those first few days with us. I'm sure your mother would be proud too. And personally I'm glad that I'm being given the chance to watch you two walk across that stage and accept that diploma."

"It's just a piece of paper," whispered Rodney.

"No Rodney, it's more than that, it's a testimony to the fact that after everything you've faced, everything you've dealt with, everything you've fought for in life, that you made it anyway. It proves just how strong a man you are, and even more it proves you can and will do anything you want in life. I have no doubt that one day you will make an extraordinary difference in someone's life."

"I hope so…"

"I know so son, you're going to be a fine man, because you are already a fine young man."

"Thanks dad," he said smiling.

"Well, just for the record, here," Luke handed him a small gift wrapped box. Rodney eyed his father cautiously and tore the wrapping paper off the box. It was a heavy little black box. Taking a deep breath he opened the box and was stunned.

"My father gave me two watches when I was your age, one from my mother's father and one from his dad. He told me that the pocket watch was for my eldest son and that the wrist watch was for my youngest son."

"But…" Rodney was stunned as he looked at the beautiful old watch. It wasn't new, but it certainly looked loved. As though many generations had worn them.

"You're my son Rodney, John just go this last night; I thought I'd wait until today to give you yours. No matter what your last name is Rodney, or who really gave birth to you. You're my son, and Lauren's son. We love you."

"I…I…" he cursed himself that tears were filling his eyes. He felt Luke gently take the box away and grab Rodney in a tight hug.

"I love you too," cried Rodney as he gripped onto his father as a lot little child he had been when he had first arrived.

Luke said nothing, he just held his young son and smiled, glad that he had been blessed with two amazing young sons.

They watched from their seats in pride as their two boys walked towards the stage. "Rodney Michael McKay," spoke the principal as Rodney stepped forward, "will be attending Harvard on a full ride, I give you Lincoln High School's Valedictorian."

Rodney smiled as he stood up at the podium, "I was told to talk about something that meant a lot to me…originally that was music and science, but today I realized there's something that means a lot more to me. I had a rough childhood, an abusive dad, my mother died when I was five and my sister left when she was eighteen. By the time I was ten I was officially orphaned. That's when I came into the Sheppard's care. Used to taking care of smaller children, I was new to them. I was a ten year old with no clue how to act social in the world. I stand here today because they gave me the chance. School gave me a chance. Everyday in high school we all faced various challenges, from walking through that door the first day to making the grades so we could sit here today in front of you with proud smiles on our faces. High school is about making the choices, about meeting the challenges and facing the next day. I can't remember how many times my father Luke Sheppard told me that I couldn't dwell on my mistakes but had to move onto my successions. In less than an hour we will be facing the rest of our lives, our jobs will range from joining the Air Force, to becoming a teacher or lawyer, perhaps even walking on the moon one day. We all have goals and it's because of our time here at Lincoln High that we're going to accomplish our goals, after all we're just about to accomplish our biggest goal yet, we're graduating. I'd like to congratulate the class and wish them all the best of luck in the coming years. We will all do great things."

With a smile on his face Rodney stepped over and took a seat beside his brother. Together they would conquer high school, they would step up to the next level. No matter the mistakes, no matter the problems. They would make it together.


	6. All Grown Up

Author's Note: Thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews, I'm sooo glad you're all enjoying this sooo much, I hope this story is living up to everyone's expectations. Thank you for all the great wishes to college, I'm really excitied, and can't wait to go!

Chapter Six: All Grown Up

John joined the Air Force as planned eight months later, the day he turned eighteen he and Rodney went down; Rodney declined, saying he didn't plan on ever working for the Air Force, never realizing that one day he probably would. John left for basic training two months later, the morning after graduation.

Rodney spent another two and a half months with Luke and Lauren before leaving to attend Harvard school for Astrophysics, at the age of seventeen, while he wasn't the youngest boy to enter college, there was an easy guess he would be one of the youngest to graduate from the field. Many Professors were counting on it.

By twenty Rodney had his masters and was deep into getting his Ph. D. He had big plans and every one of them were pointing towards NASA. At twenty-two he graduated with a Ph. D in astrophysics and astronomy from Harvard and returned to Canada, where he began to work for several years on their space program.

Three years later, John was twenty-six and Rodney twenty-five their mother was diagnosed with a brain tumor, she died of a ruptured tumor less than three months later. John barely made it home to the funeral, and didn't have time to see if his little brother was there, although he was fairly sure Rodney would be.

One year after Lauren's death, Luke Sheppard moved to the beach of California, where he happily retired and planned to live out what was left of his life. Part of him wished he could have back the couple years he had already missed with both his boys.

By 1995, both Rodney and John lost touch and the ability to write to one another anymore, John was going out on mission after mission with the Air Force, and Rodney began to focus on an American program called the SG program. In 1999 he was placed on the Air Force's payroll, and was busy working on heavy research for the SGC in both Russia and America.

Neither man ever realized that ten years after losing contact with one another, that their paths would cross again, and would remain together for a very long time. In 2002, Luke Sheppard died of a heart attack, neither boy attended the funeral, but not intentionally. John was MIA in Iraq for another six weeks after his father's funeral, and Rodney was engrossed in a large spat with the Russians about some damn Stargate and not wanting to give it back to the Americans. Rodney didn't even know the man had died until two weeks later. He did however leave for a day and pay his adopted parent's graves a visit they both duly deserved.

"Carson get back here!" yelled Rodney as his friend got up from the Ancient chair and walked away.

"I've been sittin' in that bloody thing all day' I haven't felt anything, it's a waste of bloody time!" he huffed off walking past Elizabeth, giving her a mere nod before continuing on her way.

Elizabeth smiled as she eyed Rodney, they had been on Antarctica for nearly a week and in that week, she had spent almost every night sitting up late in the lab or cafeteria speaking with Rodney. He didn't speak much of his childhood, she assumed he'd had some rough spots, based on his seemingly unapproachable personality, but it didn't matter. Once you got past the annoying traits Rodney was a good kind man on the inside, something she and Carson had learned in the past week, although Carson wouldn't have admitted how much he truly enjoyed Dr. McKay's company.

"He's not even trying," grumbled Rodney as he gestured towards the Medical Doctor's retreating back.

"But He's the one who discovered the gene that this technology responds to," stated Weir as she eyed him.

" Yeah, well he said he wished he never had it."

"Really?" Weir was surprised, she new Carson hated the damn chair, but the poor man had been poked, prodded, and pushed into that chair for a week, Rodney simply called it getting a taste of his own medicine.

"I know, can you believe that?" Rodney exclaimed in disbelief. It was torturing him that he didn't have the gene.

"We could always test you a third time, Rodney."

"That's very funny."

"We've only found a hand full of people who are genetically compatible with the ancient technology and despite your heroic efforts to interface ours with theirs; we need every one of them to sit in this chair, including Dr Beckett," Weir's statement was as obvious as Rodney made it look when he nodded.

"What am I suppose to do? He's afraid of that thing!" Rodney said looking at the chair.

Elizabeth smiled as she touched the chair gently, as if afraid it would light, as much as she loved seeing what was uncovered every time someone sat in the chair, she was glad she didn't have the gene, "This chair controls the most powerful weapons known to Humankind. I'm afraid of the thing. But every time someone sits in it we learn something new about the ancients who built this outpost. Dr Beckett should be proud he's genetically advanced."

"Not more advanced. It. it's a random characteristic," Rodney said trying to play off that he didn't care.

"This really bothers you. This whole gene thing, huh?"

"Oh, Really I am overcome with envy."

"Apache, Black hawk, Cobra, Osprey," Major John Sheppard spoke as he drove the helicopter towards the outpost.

"That's a lot of training for the Antarctic," Jack replied looking out the window.

"It was the one continent I never set foot on," replied John simply.

"It's one of my least favourite continents," Jack said, shivering at the memory of the first time he had ever been in Antarctica, he and Sam had nearly died…that had been eight years ago, which he found hard to believe.

"I kinda like it here," replied John.

"you like it here?" Jack questioned in confusion, how could anyone like a chunk of ice.

"Look we've been through this I'm not your man!" Carson bitched as he tried to stop Rodney from pushing him into the chair.

"Keep moving," Rodney demanded.

"I'm a Doctor. A medical Doctor."

"There is nothing to be afraid of," continued Rodney as argued with his friend.

"You don't understand, I break things like this!" Carson whined gesturing towards the chair.

"This device has survived for millions of years in tact. It will survive you. Now sit down. Close your eyes and concentrate."

"Again, nothing," Carson said with a sigh after closing his eyes for only seconds.

"This time just try and imagine an image of where we are in the solar system," suggested Rodney.

"I think I feel something. It could be Lunch related," Carson said opening his eyes again.

"Shut up and concentrate," growled McKay.

"All inbound craft we have a rogue drone that could seek a target on its own. Land immediately and shut down your engines. This is not a drill. I repeat we have…" came a voice over the radio.

"It's too late." John said swerving when he saw a yellow flash coming towards him.

"Hang on!" Jack called as the drove zipped past them.

"Break right," but Sheppard went left.

"I said right!" growled Jack.

"I'll get to that sir," John called in return suddenly taking the right turn.

The drone continued to chase them, finally it took a dive into the snow, Jack yelled for John to land it. They waited, the Drone came spiralling towards them. Instantly the two men jumped out of the copter. The drone came to stop directly in front of Jack.

"That was different," John huffed as he climbed back into the helicopter and closed the door. Jack climbed in as well and looked at him.

"For me, not so much," he responded.

"Daniel, Warm welcome!" Jack greeted ten minutes later as he stepped out of the elevator in the outpost, John at his side.

"Wasn't me. How did you manage to er...?" Daniel began to question.

"Keep my ass from being blown out of the sky?" Jack finished as Daniel nodded, "The exceptional flying of Major John Sheppard. He likes it here," Jack finished.

"Exceptional?" Daniel looked at Sheppard, surprised, Jack wasn't one to compliment easily, "You like it here?" he said in confusion.

"Let's say we skip to the part where you start talking real fast."

"Ah, Weirs in here," Daniel said leading his friend away. Jack suddenly turned and eyed Sheppard.

"Don't touch anything," he commanded.

"Yes sir," replied John despondently.

"The second I shut my eyes, I could see you see, I felt power I've never had before, I had it dancing across the sky... it was magical it really was. They're lucky, I don't know where it came from I just tried to concentrate and the drone shut itself down," Carson bragged as John clamoured near by. When John heard the man's words he became annoyed.

"So you were the one!" he began.

"Me?" Carson said smiling innocently.

"You were the one who fired that thing at me."

"Look we're doing research. Working with technology that's light-years beyond us and we make mistakes. I'm incredibly, incredibly sorry," Carson said holding up his hands.

"Well, next time just be a little more careful, ok?"

"That's what I said," Carson stated, silently cursing the man Rodney McKay was.

"What the heck was that thing anyway?"

"You mean the drone?" Carson questioned, he received a nod from Sheppard and continued. " The weapon the ancients built to defend this outpost."

"The who?" John asked, confused.

"You do have security clearance to be here?"

"Yeah, yeah, General O'Neill just gave it to me."

"Then you don't even know about the Stargate."

"The what?"

"They think the gene was used as a sort of genetic key if you will. So that only their kind could operate certain dangerous and powerful technologies

"So some people have the same Genes as these ancients," John said as he moved around the chair.

"Specific Gene is very rare, but on the whole they look very much like we do. In fact they were first through the second evolution of this form. The ancients having explored this Galaxy for millions of years before." Carson became agitated when John went to sit down, "Major please don't."

"Come on what are the odds of me having the same genes as these guys," Sheppard replied, he should have known 'famous last words'. As soon as he sat down the chair lit up like a Christmas tree, causing both man to be shocked.

"Quite slim actually. Dr Weir! Don't move!" Carson yelled hurrying after the three sciensts.

Carson, Elizabeth, Jack, Daniel and Rodney came rushing out as soon as Carson yelled for them. Everyone was standing in shock looking at John, but Rodney and John's shock were two very different surprised looks, than the others.

"Who is this?" Weir questioned.

"I said don't touch anything." O'Neil groaned through his teeth

"I...I...I just sat down," John replied, his eyes still on McKay.

"Major think about where we are in the solar system," Rodney said suddenly, remembering where he was and that no one knew they were brothers. They were all stunned as a map of the solar system appeared above their heads.

"Did I do that?" John questioned.

Rodney felt jealousy flare through his entire being at the thought that his brother had something he didn't, it seemed to happen so often, there were many things John would always have that Rodney never had, and would never have.

"Rodney, I want him on our team!" Elizabeth stated as John and Daniel walked away to finish their conversation.

"Y…yes…okay," Rodney replied watching her leave. Rodney looked over at Carson in disbelief.

"What?" Carson stated.

"Don't you have somewhere to be?"

"Aye, here, and if you'd stopping be a little bugger, I might get this done in time," growled Carson.

"Well I'm done with ya now!" bit Rodney in return.

Carson stalked off in frustration and anger, while Rodney turned back and stared at his brother, "It's been awhile," muttered Rodney.

"Apparently…listen…"

"I saw you at mom's funeral… but you seemed like you were in a hurry, so I didn't bother you."

"Yeah…sorry about that…were you at dad's."

"No…no one told me until after he was gone..."

"Me either…some son's we turned out to be…"

"Hey I visited mom a lot when she was in the hospital, and I saw dad nearly every month up until he died."

"Did you tell him you travel through outer space?"

"I've haven't left this planet…ever. I just work behind the scenes…and no, dad thinks I work with NASA, I'm sure if he actually tried to use his detective skills he would realize that I'm really not at NASA anymore."

"So…how long have you been here?"

"At the out post, about two weeks, most of the scientists have been here for a couple weeks…"

"No I mean with the program?"

"Seven years…since the fourth or fifth mission. At least that's when I started studying it and getting involved with the Air Force."

"Your…ah lady friend seemed a little dumbfounded by me."

"Yeah well, frankly I was too. You're the first person besides General O'Neill that has sat in that chair and caused it to react without really thinking about it.

"And now what?"

"John, this is unlike anything you will ever see again, or have ever seen before. It's a different world."

"What is it?"

"We're going to another galaxy."

"Excuse me…Rodney when you said you wanted to be come an astronaut I thought you meant like…to the moon," chuckled John.

"Focus John, there's more out there, beyond the moon and our solar system, there are other galaxies, other people. We were crazy to think we were the only people all of our lives. John we've found what we believe is the Lost City of Atlantis…"

"That's just a story Rodney…"

"No John, it's so much more. John…I'm going on this mission, we all are, and there is a good chance, we won't be coming home."

"Why?"

"We may not have the power when we get there… I have nothing left here…Jeanie won't miss me…hell she won't even speak to me. You're all I got, and we haven't spoke in nearly ten years…"

"Gee thanks…" John replied.

"Let's go Sheppard!" called Jack O'Neill from where he stood by the elevator speaking with Dr. Weir.

"John, think about it, we're brothers…trust me, when I say this could be the moment of your life…"

"Sheppard! Now…"

"Rodney, I'll see you soon," John said.

"John…" Rodney paused.

"Yeah, me too…" with nothing more, John hurried towards the elevators.

Once they were back in the helicopter Jack looked over at him, "Why did you join the Air Force?"

"Because I thought people who didn't want to fly were crazy."

"Well I think people who don't want to go through the Stargate are equally as whacked, so let me make this clear. If you can't give me a yes by the time we land at McMurdo, then I don't even want you."

"McKay is my brother…"

"The annoying Canadian?"

"He wasn't always that bad…he's regressed some…"

"He pissed off my top scientist, and saved our asses on more than on occasion."

"Then why is he even going."

"Let me ask you, why would you choose Rodney McKay to do something?"

"Because he works his ass off sir."

"That's why Elizabeth Weir choose him, because he doesn't stop at anything, no matter how many times people suggest he should."

"He built an atomic bomb in the sixth grade at ten years old."

"Seriously?"

"Oh yeah, my parents were furious."

"I bet."

It was nearly four days later when John had the chance to slow down and breath. They now had nasty creatures called Wraith after them, Sumner was dead, and John was stuck on another planet in the middle of a very big ocean.

He wandered towards his brother, who was looking out over the balcony, "Dr. Weir spoke to me."

"She talks to everyone Major, she's not attracted to you," Rodney commented.

"Anyway, apparently I'm now the ranking military officer."

"Congratulations."

"That also means I get first pick for my team…"

"And your point is what?" Rodney asked almost bitterly.

"Well, obviously I want Teyla on my team…and while Bates is good, I'd prefer him to have his own team, so Ford is my military option. So obviously that leaves me with a scientist…and I want you."

"Why?" Rodney questioned suddenly.

"Why not?"

"John…"

"Rodney, you're too smart to sit and waste away as you push paper in some godforsaken lab. Besides I cant watch out for you on my team."

"I don't need a babysitter."

"No, but I see I had this kid brother, who I loved to cause trouble with, and I haven't seen him in ten years. And when I look at you I'm kind of reminded of him."

"I've missed talking to you."

John smiled, "does this mean you'll be the fourth member of my team."

"Can't we say I'm like…the second or something."

"Probably."


	7. Seeking Reason to Hide

Author's Note: Just got my roommate assignment for college, and tomorrow I order books. This seems to be going soo fast, wow. Anyway here's the next chapter, each chapter will basically tell you which epsiode I'm writing about based on the title of the chapter. Which I'm fairly sure you'll catch onto. Anyway, the beginning of this chapter may seem familiar because it was take from my former story Justification, and changed a bit. The rest of it is different. Read and Review

Chapter Seven: Seeking the Reason to Hide

John was making his way past the science labs to speak with Rodney that morning, he hadn't seen the way ward scientist at breakfast and was concerned that Rodney was beginning to neglect himself as he worked to keep the city running at maximum.

He jumped, startled when he heard a loud crack of a gun shot, he looked down the hall and realized it was coming directly from Rodney's acclaimed lab. His feet carried him suddenly, hopping he wouldn't find a dead body, hoping he wouldn't find a Wraith, hoping he would find the gun in Rodney's hand 'Where the hell did the idiot get the gun from in the first place' ran through John's mind.

There he stood in the middle of the room, grinning from ear to hear, staring at the gun in his hand, which was glowing green. On his chest was a small green device, John searched wildly for blood of a bullet hole. He saw nothing Rodney looked fine.

"What the hell are you doing?" John yelled at him. His eyes met John's and he saw pure glee in them, similar to what you'd find in a five year old at Christmas.

"John! You'll never believe this!" Rodney began to talk faster than most men he knew could; telling John all about the gene therapy Carson had given him and how he had just shot himself in the head and he was fine.

Finally John held up my hands, "whoa, stop, you mean to tell me you just shot yourself in the head. Rodney, that's a little…"

"No I'm not suicidal, I had to see if it worked, and it does! Here, shoot me, anywhere," he said handing John the gun. John found himself slightly impressed that his brother knew how to hand someone a gun, much less hold it. Taking the 9mm from Rodney, John looked at it, then back at him. John couldn't, nor would John shoot his younger brother.

"Rodney…."

"No, it's okay, really I won't feel a thing, you can shoot me anywhere!"

John was stunned, as much as he wanted to shoot him at times, he couldn't, he couldn't induce physical harm on someone who he had grown up with for almost ten years, he couldn't do it. John loved him, Rodney was the only brother John had ever had. Besides John and Rodney had years of trouble to get into ahead of them, what if something went wrong?

"McKay this is crazy!"

"No, it's not, really go ahead I can take it," John raised an eye brow at him, he was fairly sure there was little this man could really take. But with a severe doubt in what he was doing John held the gun up at point blanket range in front of Rodney's face.

He didn't even flinch, John began to pull the trigger, at the last moment he dropped the gun and shot at Rodney's thigh. He was right the bullet hit whatever was covering his body and then dropped to the ground. There was no bullet hole, no blood, nothing.

"Isn't this great?" Rodney said with excitement. John grinned from ear to ear in similar glee, he was fine. They went about the lab throwing things, hitting him, throwing him off balconies like we were small children again just having a fun game of ball. Except Rodney was the ball and I was doing everything I could to throw, hit or kick the ball.

John walked into the infirmary after a short debriefing with Dr. Weir and eyed his second in command on his team, and his little brother. Rodney sat, legs dangling over the side of the gurney, looking pathetic, exhausted and annoyed as Carson gave him an earful.

"Carson, how's our hero?" John questioned the doctor.

Carson smiled, he was the only person aside from Weir that knew of John and Rodney's family relationship. Neither one said a word, because the two managed to fool everyone else that they were not related and actually could barely standing being around one another.

"The wee bugger is lucky to bloody be alive," Carson stated eyeing his patient.

"Yes, well he does seem to be lucky quite a bit. Carson, could I speak with my brother for a moment alone?"

Carson merely nodded and headed of to work on some paper work in his office. John turned and looked at Rodney for a moment, eying him, looking for any sign that his little brother really truly wasn't fine and needed serious medical attention.

Finding none John plopped himself down on the bed beside Rodney and paused for a moment, crossing his fingers in his lap he tried to think of what to say, "Let me begin with, if you ever pull another fool hearty stunt like that ever again, I will personally hit you into next week, or sic Teyla on you. Now with that said, I'm proud of you."

"Someone had to do something… Might as well have been me."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Let's face it _Major _you think I'm worthless just like everyone else! You don't think I pull my own weight around here, and you think I complain too much."

"Well, you're right about one thing, you do complain too much. However, I don't think your worthless, I have never, not since the second I met you; thought you were worthless, annoying and perhaps had a tendency to go overboard at times, yes. And I know for a fact you carry more weight and a heavier burden more than anyone here besides maybe Weir. You are the Chief Scientist on this expedition, for someone reason your thick skull seems to think that means you need to have all the answers."

"Shouldn't I?"

"No! Rodney, where did you get these wild ideas from?"

"This afternoon…"

"When? When I was joking with you about fainting?"

"Just leave me alone okay," Rodney stood up and began to walk away, but John reached out and snatched his arm.

"Freeze, this conversation is far from over Rodney. I don't know what has you suddenly thinking I feel your worthless or think you shouldn't be on my team, but you or whoever put those thoughts in your mind was grossly mistaken."

"Are we done now?"

"No!" growled John, "another thing, you're not going to sacrifice your life because you think I hate you or because you think you need to prove someone to people. You have nothing to prove to anyone. No one here thinks you need to prove anything, no one's waiting for you to fuck up, and no one wants to see you screw up so you're wrong. If you mess up it's because it was a damn accident. If you have anything to prove to anyone it's yourself, and you best prove it pretty damn quick. I will not take you into any mission if you have self doubts. You aren't worth a thing to me if you can't trust yourself."

Rodney said nothing, he stared at John for a moment, then stalked up unsteadily. John stood there for a moment watched as Rodney left him alone in the infirmary.

Rodney was in his lab when he heard a knock on the door, he didn't reply, desperately searching for some relative peace. However he heard the door 'whoosh' open, and didn't need to look to know it was John.

"I don't mean to sound soft on you, but when you first arrived at our house…some twenty years ago, I couldn't help but think I always wanted a little brother, and maybe this was someone's way of telling me to watch over you. But you watched my back just as much. I can't think of the number of times your quick thinking got me out of trouble with mom and dad. Today, yet another moment of you quick thinking saved my ass, but not just mine. Everyone's ass. Rodney, you're here because you work hard, you do your best, and when all seems lost you don't sit on your ass and wait for things to come to you. We've watched each other grow up, you are the best friend and brother I've ever had, I know how sappy and pathetic it sounds, but it's the truth."

Rodney turned and looked at the man, the man he had come to see, that he had originally met standing at a door twenty-four years earlier. Here they were today, in the most unlikely place, living the most unlikely adventure.

Rodney didn't response, he didn't know how to. However, as he watched John he realized he didn't really need words, John seemed to understand him perfectly, in every way.

Without another word, John turned on his heel and walked out, understanding the look he saw in his brother's eyes, it was the same look all those years back when John had spent countless hours helping Rodney catch up on his homework when he had mono, the same look he offered when John taught him how to fly, when John taught him how to swim, ride a bike, and all around how to have a damn good time.


	8. Thirty Eight Minutes of Fear

Chapter Eight: Thirty Eight Minutes of Fear

It was a nightmare come true, he never felt so helpless in his entire life as he sat by his brother, holding his cold limp hand, looking into his pain filled eyes. "Can't this thing go any faster!" Rodney growled in frustration.

"Rod," came John's hushed agonized voice.

"Shh…don't worry, we'll get you home," Rodney tried to whisper some calm platitudes but he wasn't their mother, he wasn't as good at comforting words and loving gestures.

"Rodney…"

"Try and breathe through the pain John," Rodney whispered. His own heart breaking at the sight of his big brother. He had only seen John in pain once in his life, and even then John seemed to have complete control over himself.

Time seemed to pass forever, until they could finally see the gate nice and close. They all watched and waited, Rodney and Teyla in the back trying to help the major. They watched, until suddenly they stopped, sending everyone flying around the jumper. Rodney felt his hand slam into the back of the jumper. He grunted as everything went black where he had fallen by his brother's side.

When he awoke he was horrified to see they were obviously stuck in the wormhole. He was vaguely aware as time three minutes passed by, as Aiden told the story of what had happened, a team was brought together on Atlantis. But as Rodney looked at his brother, he knew he could really only truly rely on himself to get them out of this. That's when it dawned on him, he stood up and closed the bulk head doors, "sorry here," he whispered turning on his little flash light.

"Jumper one, this is Atlantis," came Grodin's voice over their radio's.

"Still here." Rodney replied, pressing the com in his ear.

"We recommend closing the bulkhead door."

"Oh, good thinking," Rodney replied sarcastically, "What else?"

"We're still working on the problem. We'll get back to you. Atlantis base out," Grodin's reply came.

"Thanks for calling! Anyone else claustrophobic or is it just me?" Rodney whispered as he began to shake. This small space was driving him insane. He looked over and met John's pain filled eyes.

"Why'd you close the door?" Ford questioned.

Rodney was so tired of the little twit questioning everything he ever did, Ford had been one of the people Rodney had told John was just waiting for him to screw up. "So that when the Stargate shuts down and the forward section is severed, we're not directly exposed to space," replied Rodney as he continued to work

"Will it hold?" Ford asked hopefully.

"Like a screen door on a submarine, I just prefer apoxia to explosive decompression. It's a personal thing."

"If the air is gonna get thin in here, you really do have to calm down," Ford said in an almost mocking tone. Rodney glared at him, didn't the boy understand, didn't he get that they were going to die. That his brother would die. And probably long before twenty seven minutes were out.

"Wait till you see how thin it gets in 27 minutes…" began Rodney

"Rodney–" John spoke in a warning tone. He knew about Rodney's past better than anyone, he knew what happened when Rodney got claustrophobic. He didn't blame the man for having the problem, he'd been that way since the day he had arrived in John's life.

"Vacuum. That's thin," barked Rodney.

"Knock it off," came John's weak voice. He was waiting for his voice to penetrate Rodney's mind enough to get him to calm down.

"Well, I apologize for being the only person who truly comprehends how screwed we are!" yelled Rodney.

"Don't talk to me about screwed," John barked out. Rodney's eyes turned to him, his mouth closed and he became silent, realizing what he had just said. He looked down at the floor. He could feel Teyla and Ford's angry distrusting glares on his body. He knew they hated him, he was amazed John didn't hate him so much

"And let's not give up on Markham and Stackhouse either. There's plenty of time to solve this thing. But you've got to stop using your mouth and start using your brain," John said, his voice still commanding and rough.

"I'm sorry, Major. I'm…I react to certain doom a certain way. It's a bad habit and…and…maybe there's a way to manually retract the mechanism," he whispered. John sighed, he hated it when he broke his brother like that. Hated to watch him look so defeated. He wasn't used to seeing the man like that.

"Yeah. Maybe there is," replied Sheppard softly as he eyed his brother, an apology forming both his eyes and Rodney's.

"Major," Teyla whispered softly. John turned his eyes to look at her weakly.

"Definitely beats the broken leg," murmured John. He smiled weakly when he heard Rodney snort in laughter.

"When did you break your leg?" questioned Ford.

"I was fifteen…and my…my brother decided to play on top of the roof…well actually our dad told him to go clean some of the debris off from a storm the night before," John grimaced. Rodney looked at him sadly.

"I went up there to help, thought the kid could use a hand…I guess I startled the hell out of him because one minute he was fine and the next minute I touched him and he whirled around. He threw me off balance a little and I lost my footing…"

"You fell off the roof when you were fifteen?"

"Yeah, my brother felt guilty for months."

"Still does," came Rodney's small reply.

"What?" Teyla spoke.

"I said he probably still does," stated Rodney as though he hadn't said what she probably heard.

"How old's your brother sir?"

"A year younger than me," John said grimacing as they began trying to find ways to get the thing off him.

"He's lucky to have a brother like you," Teyla said smiling.

"I'm lucky to have a friend and brother like him too," John whispered, catching Rodney's eyes.

Rodney smiled slightly, glad that while his brother had yelled at him, he didn't hate him.

"Keep talking Major, it might make the pain seem less obvious tell us about your brother?" Ford said as he moved onto the next thing.

"What was he like?" Teyla questioned, seeing the talking as a diversion.

"What does he do now?"

"He works on missions for the Air Force…"

"Wow, so both of you did it," grinned Ford.

"Not originally, little punk went to sign up with me the day after I turned eighteen and didn't sign up."

"Wasn't old enough," came Rodney's reply.

"Yeah…funny that's what he said," John stated, "I give him credit though, had balls, he was involved in the Stargate Program too…he's a scientist."

"And he's not on this mission? He could've taken Kavanagh's place," grinned Ford.

Rodney snorted again slightly, "he's probably smarter than you McKay," joked Ford.

"Oh I dunno, McKay's pretty smart," John said smiling.

"We're going to try the water now," Aiden began to pour the water on the bug, where he had just put the salt.

Rodney felt tears well in his eyes as he listened to his brother scream and cry out in pain, he wanted to do something, anything to help him. He was furious that he had allowed them to slip in further. He was angry that with fifteen minutes left they had very solutions and even less time. He was stunned in silence when the thought of killing John came up into the conversation. He wanted to scream, tell them they couldn't kill him, he wanted to do anything. But John stood firm, he eyed his brother quickly, then yelled for Ford to shock him. Rodney's eyes fell on the dead…dead prone form of his only brother, the only other person in this world that honestly seemed to care about him to any extent. They couldn't revive him, and Rodney was quickly getting more and more frustrated. At one point Rodney remembered trying to make Ford step into the event horizon, he wasn't going to let some twenty five year old die. He couldn't. He had to get this stupid thing working. He was thrilled when he heard the engine pods completely retract. Less then thirty seconds later he was shoved into the worm hole, and the jumper followed quickly after.

Rodney stood in the back of the jumper watching them try desperately to bring John back to life, he could feel his stomach churning, his heart beating through his chest, his eyes burning. "please John," he whispered as continued to watch. He knew Elizabeth and Teyla were eyeing him.

"I've got a pulse, a steady beat," called Carson. Seconds later they were transporting him to the infirmary. Rodney instantly followed, like a lost puppy in need of his owner, or in this case his brother.

"Rodney ya need to get out," Carson said gently. They were setting John up on an IV and checking his vitals, but he couldn't do it with Rodney hovering like he was

"Carson…" Rodney began.

The doctor moved over to his close friend and gently grabbed the man's shoulders, "I can't help him with you hovering, I promise he's going ta be fine lad. I have never and wouldn't lie to you. You need food and rest, go, get something to eat. Take a shower, and even a small nap, come back in two hours, he might even be awake by then laddie."

"Can…can I at least see him."

"Rodney, go, now, before I have you sedated and placed in the bed next to him."

Rodney left the infirmary, his shoulders slumped, Carson's heart went out to the scientist, it was obvious these two had one hell of a bond, and Carson loved that the two brother's were so close. However, Rodney needed taking care of just as much as John did.

As promised Rodney returned two hours later, on the dot, he was showered, although Carsonwas fairly sure Rodney hadn't slept at all, and if he'd eaten he certainly didn't look it.

However Carson wasn't going to send the lad away, he allowed John's brother to walk in and take a seat beside the bed, "he should be wakin' shortly lad."

"Carson…"

"Rodney, this wasn't your fault, an' don't be blamin' yourself for it."

"It shouldn't have taken so long."

"Listen to the goodscientist, Rodney," came John's half awake voice.

"Hey," Rodney said as he sat up straight by his brother.

"We've gotta stop meetin' like this baby brother," John grinned gently as he squeezed Rodney's hand.

"I'm glad you're okay."

"Glad to be okay, breath Roddy, we made it out alive together."

"What were you realy going to say when Liz stopped you?"

"Random question to ask a man who just woke up, I was gonna tell them that it's been an honour to work with you all, and I was gonna tell Carson to take care of my little brother."

"I would have John," stated Carson smiled softly.

The three friends stood in comfortable silence, Carson knew he had become like the third brother of the family, he enjoyed the relationship he had with the two men. They were the three closest people on the base.

TBC


	9. The Eye of Another Storm

Author's Note: Many have mentioned they couldn't wait to read this chapter, I haven't changed anything for the actual show, seeing as most likely several things would have changed, this was really the epsiode where I started noticing John treating Rodney like a younger brother. Anyway The next chapter will be up by Wednesday. Also one person did ask why Carson would know their brothers, my only explanation is A)Rodney knew Carson for nearly a year (probably) before they went to Atlantis, and he probably mentioned him at least once and B) Carson is their doctor so he know what's in everyone's file and background so naturally it seems to me that he would know that their brothers.

Chapter Nine: The Eye of Another Storm

"You said these things happen every twenty years?" John asked as he looked out over the balcony at their people coming back, with the gear, and relieved looks on their faces.

"That's what they tell us," replied Elizabeth looking up at her dear friend.

"How far in advance can we book days off?" John said, only half joking. Rodney's smile rapidly turned into a wince. Elizabeth grinned and turned away before she could respond.

"Okay Rodney, what moron taught you how to bandage provide first aid to yourself? Come on pal," he grabbed his brother's good arm and led him into the conference room.

He sat Rodney down, then moved over to get the first aid kit from the cabinets in the corner of the room, "sit still buddy," John felt like he was treating his teenage little brother again. He cut away the bandage and shook his head, "did you even clean this?"

"No…" whispered Rodney.

"Dork," John gently removed the jacket from Rodney's arms, and grimaced at the gash in the arm, he turned it over gently, barely touching the arm, there was no exit wound, but the blood was all over, covering his arm.

"Jesus McKay," John took out a large alcohol wipe and began to clean all the blood off, he found a wash cloth and some warm water and washed the blood off and began to wipe the gash.

He watched Rodney biting his lip, the truest Rodney McKay 'in pain' sign. John winched, "sorry Rod," he whispered. He looked at the wound, "this might be infected, I'd like Carson to take a look at it."

"John, I'm sorry," Rodney whispered.

John looked at him and sighed, he hit the intercom, "Dr. Beckett, it's John, I'm in the conference room with Rodney, could you get down here please?"

"Aye, I'll be there as soon as I can lad."

"Thanks," John sighed and turned his attention back to the man sitting before him. Rodney was shaking, his face had become pale again. John reached out and turned Rodney's face towards him and sighed, "nice bruise, Koyla?"

"I felt like it was my father again…" whispered Rodney.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there Rodney, to stop the bastard from doing this to you, if I had known he did this to you…I'd have shot him in the head instead of in the shoulder."

"I tried not to tell him I really did," John sighed and pulled Rodney close, he felt Rodney lean his head against his shoulder. He hugged him close, rubbing his back.

"I know Rodney, I know, cry Rodney. Just cry, it's okay."

The flood gates opened as Rodney let out all his fears, his panic attack, his pain and sorrow. John sighed as he leaned his head against Rodney's. Wishing for the pain to stop; John rubbed Rodney's back in circles, and eyed Carson as he entered the conference room, he looked exhausted, his face drawn and pale, but he was up on his feet and obviously feeling better.

"What have we got son?"

"I don't know yet, Rodney, look at me, did Koyla hit you anywhere else?"

"yes…"

"Take the shirt off lad, we'll do this here if we have to, I can get you to the infirmary later if needed," Carson said gently.

With the help of both men Rodney's shirt was unzipped and lifted over his head. Carson and John both gasped at the wide range of bruises, purples, blacks, blues and bright reds.

"My god, his back is covered in bruises," John whispered.

"He's go two cracked ribs, and several bruises on his stomach," Carson spoke as he probbed Rodney's back and sides.

"I think the gash on his arm in infected, and he might have nerve damage."

"Let's get in him to the infirmary," Carson muttered.

The two men helped their friend all the way to the infirmary, none of them looked very good to anyone who might be watching them but for them it didn't matter anymore.

Carson maneuvered Rodney down onto the bed, he looked up at them, "I'm going to get an IV started, John why don't ya keep your wee brother calm, see if you can't get him to fall asleep," Carson suggested.

John watched as the doctor stiffly walked away. John reached out and gently ran a hand over Rodney's hair, "talk to me Rodney."

"I failed…"

"No Rodney, you did an amazing job, you were brave, Rodney you're a strong man, and I'm proud of you," John said gently.

"I…I should have been stronger."

"No, just stay the way you are little brother, I love you anyway, everything about ya. Close your eyes Rod, I'll be here when you wake up."

"Promise?"

"Have I ever let you down baby brother?"

"No," Rodney mumbled before he slipped into a heavy sleep, his big brother watching over him.

Carson came back to John and Rodney's side and smiled sadly, "I heard he tried to start the shield early…"

"Yeah, he feels kinda shitty about that doc…"

"I know lad, and I don't blame him for wanting to start it early. I'm glad he didn't, but I know if it had been me I would have considered it as well. You should get some sleep as well lad. We've all had a busy day."

"I know, but I promised him I'd be here when he woke up, and I'm not going to let him down…never again," John whispered.

"You didn't let him down anymore than he let you down lad. You both did your jobs above and beyond the usual. I've seen you two together, and anyone who thought you two didn't like each other or wouldn't protect each other would be nuts."

"He's the best friend I've ever had…aside from you maybe."

"Aye you two have become brothers to me…I'm glad I decided to come on this mission."

"So are we," whispered John.

> > > > > > > > > >

Rodney groaned slightly as he opened his eyes, everything coming back into focus, how long had he been out...he looked around and saw Elizabeth sitting on a cot across the room, John was to the left of his bed, feet propped up at the end, his eyes chin resting on his chest. Carson was already bustling off at work. The blue eyed physician came into view seconds later.

"How do you feel lad?" Carson asked as he began to check over Rodney's vitals. Rodney's temperature was still elevated, his heart beat and pulse were a little fast, blood pressure was still a little low.

"Crappy..." murmured Rodney.

"Are you in pain?"

"Feels like my arm is on fire..."

"Aye, you have an infection, we're trying to knock it out with heavy anitbiotics. Are ya hungry?"

"No...Elizabeth...is she okay?"

"She's survive, she's worried about you though."

"Nothin' ta worry 'bout..."

"Right...get some sleep Rodney, we'll try and get you some food next time you wake up."

"Supplies?"

"Rodney, stop worryin', ya need to rest," Carson whispered as he pulled up the blanket to Rodney's shoulders.

"My fault."

"Hardly."

"Car'...sorry," Rodney was frustrated that he couldn't seem to form a full sentence.

"Rodney, listen to me lad, you are not at fault, you did everything you could and more.I am alive, Teyla is alive, we're fine, a wee bit bruised and nauseated, but we'll be fine. Just worry about getting better yourself."

"Nigh'..." mumbled Rodney as his eyes drifted close.

Carson grinned and shook his head, squeezing his friend's hand reassuringly, he checked the vitals again and headed back to his office. He knew Rodney would be fine, his body was already starting to heal itself. But more than that, Rodney would be fine because he had friends and family that honestly cared about him. He would be back to good old annoying Rodney before anyone had a chance to really think about it. Carson smiled, no matter how much he complained or picked on Rodney and his annoying traits, he would always take a cranky Rodney to the quiet Rodney. It meant that Rodney was going to be fine, the quiet Rodney screamed for help. He sighed and dug into his work, aware there was still a lot to do.

TBC


	10. Defying the Truth

Author's Note: Aye, this is soooo much fun, hehe just finished a chapter for Duet, ah it's great, and no complaing about length cause that chappy is a whoping 28 pages long. Most chapters ranger from 4 to twelve pages. Some chapters are just extensions of epsiode afterwards. Some are extensions during the actual epsiodes, like Hot Zone and Duet, which I pretty much used the entire epsiode. Duet is definitely like that. So please enjoy the chapters, some will be short, some will be longer. Mae, if I can find a way to fit you in somewhere I will make such an attempt but at the moment I cannot find that break. Now if you were perhaps to give me an idea, I could probably take said hint. Hehe, anyway btw if you're all curious there are going to be chapters that are between epsiodes. But not just yet :) Stay tuned, I've got so much in mind for this chapter, we are nowhere near done, and if you're all going to stay along for the ride, I may continue this for awhile! Enjoy! This chapter has some bad language in it, so I apologize if it offends anyone, but it just seemed like what Rodney would say.

Chapter Ten: Defying the Truth

"You can fly home," joked John as he slapped his brother's shoulder lightly.

"Gee thanks," Rodney muttered.

"That is if you can deactivate the shield first," John grinned.

Rodney was too quite for John's liking, he watched his brother work hard, moments later the shield disappeared. He knew they were both tired, exhausted. "You okay?" questioned John.

"Me…yeah fine, how are you?" Rodney asked.

"I've been better, but I'm alive, thanks to you, did a pretty damn good job there McKay."

"Yeah…thanks."

"Uh oh, what's up Rodney?" John knew his tone, knew how Rodney was, and knew that something was desperately wrong. For Rodney to become quiet was his desperate way of crying out for help, for anything and everything. It was his way of begging for help, begging for someone to pay attention to him.

"Nothing," that worried John only further; Rodney was a man of many words, usually all of them either negative or rude. He boasted about everything more than any man John had ever met. Rodney loved to whine, to complain just to get some attention, but withdrawing into himself was a much larger cry for help.

"Yeah right, I've known you since you were ten years old, so try again pal."

"Leave me alone Sheppard," growled Rodney suddenly.

John was taken aback by this, he was used to Rodney's wrath by now, he had survived ten years with it, he wasn't stupid, but something was really bothering Rodney, and John knew that if he didn't find out what soon, they may have a much bigger problem than two dead scientists, a flesh wound, a massive headache and one surly astrophysicist.

However, John decided to let it go for now, he would bother his brother later. Teyla and Ford had arrived and were leading them back to Atlantis. John watched his younger brother fly the puddle jumper, the attitude was rough enough to slice with butter. John didn't know whether he wanted to reach and hug his brother or kick him in the ass.

"Rodney," it was a mere whisper, somehow John hadn't intended it to sound so weak and pathetic, but maybe it would help pull the man out of his little funk if Rodney realized how badly John was hurting as well.

"What," came Rodney terse response.

"What happened to Gaul?" it was a simple question, but John watched Rodney's face go from furious, to agonizingly sad, to scared.

"He died…"

"How Rodney, how did Gaul die, what aren't you telling me? Rodney you and I have never had a problem really talking, don't start now."

"It's your fault!" bit Rodney, his icy cold glare piercing John.

"My fault?"

"You told me to put the fucking gun in his hand! To help defend ourselves! You made me give him the fucking gun!" screamed Rodney with an intensity that not only scared John, but worried him as well.

"Rodney, how did Gaul die?"

"I was talking, babbling really, just like you always pick on me about, talking about you. He just kept telling me to go and save you. I couldn't leave him I…HE SHOT HIMSELF!" screamed Rodney. His face becoming pale and his breathing ragged.

"Rodney! Breathe, listen to me, come on I need you to breathe," John said shaking his younger brother's shoulders.

"He…he shot himself…."

"I know, Rodney, he shot himself to save us, he knew you could help…"

"He said I've changed…"

"How?" John asked as he looked at Rodney seriously.

"I…have I changed?"

"You mean personality, sorry to disappoint ya kiddo, but you've always been the strong man I see standing before me. You were always strong and brave, some people just never cared to see past it."

"I…"

"Rodney, listen to me, it is not your fault, it's going to hurt for a while, really hurt bad. But this was not your fault, it wasn't anyone but that damn Wraith's fault."

"He…he said people would talk…"

"No one is going to talk Rodney…"

"People still talk about Colonel Sumner," Rodney murmured.

John shook his head, "Rodney, we've both lost people, unfortunately in a way it seems like both times it was our fault, but it wasn't Rodney."

"I've never shot anyone….or anything before."

"I killed my first person at nineteen, it hurts Rodney, for a long time, but eventually you move past the pain."

"It was a Wraith…why do I feel like I'm a murderer."

"You're not, you protected me, it may not have been human, but it was still a living creature, you've never really been up against that before Rodney."

"How do you feel?" Rodney asked suddenly, noticing that John looked terrible.

"I'll survive, this time…so will you."

"Thanks John…"

"Hey, what are brothers for."


	11. Zoning Out

Author's Note: This one's a bit long, similimar to the script in most parts, you realy have to read it though there are some big differences. :) I take pride in how much fun this is to write. One quick announcement, I'll be posting again on Friday, maybe Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. I will then try to post again on Wednesday and maybe that Friday night, but that will be it for a few days, I'm leaving Saturday for college and will be in the process of moving in, Band camp and getting used to dorm life, so please don't be far too surprised if you don't see an update for a week, this story isn't anywhere near ove, and it will not be going on hiatus as of this moment, but it may not be update for a week. Thank you for your time and patience as well as many of the fond wishes and kind words already. -Steph-

Chapter Eleven: Zoning Out

He watched Hayes die, a terrifying death, "stop it!" he barked, "it's not his heart…just stop," he whispered softly.

"How are you feeling?" Ford suddenly asked as Carson moved towards him slowly. Rodney looked up at his friends and shook his head.

"I'm…I'm….I have a sister…we're not close, I don't even know where to find her…"

"Rodney," Carson began quietly.

"Don't talk like that," spoke Ford.

"She…she and my brother are the only family I have…you have to tell her….she at least deserves to know…" he mumbled, "tell her…tell her I died doing something amazing…I died….saving kids, yeah that sounds good….Zelenka I've got some theories on looping the power on the Gate to charge a dummy ZedPM. It probably won't work, but-but you should have someone look at it cause it might lead somewhere else."

"We'll look at it together."

"Look, you _seriously_ have to stop interrupting my last thoughts. I mean, this is important stuff you need to hear." He murmured.

Carson watched as Rodney bit his lip to keep from crying or screaming, "John…" he called over his radio softly.

"I'm here," came John's voice. "Rodney?"

"Now -- if you're here for more than a year, I've left some notes on how to roll blackouts to effectively maintain your power requirements and-and, oh, tell everyone that I was, I was inches away from a Theory of Unification but uh, uh, the notes, they were lost when I died saving the ..."

"Rodney, you're not going to die buddy," whispered John into his ear, but everyone could hear him.

" Yeah." Rodney paused and looked around the room, as though waiting for the scary images. "Okay. I should be dead now," he mumbled.

"You ran into Dumais at the same time?" Carson questioned as he moved towards his best friend

"_Exactly_ the same time," Rodney said hopefully.

"Then, yes, you _should_ be dead." Carson agreed gently, he heard a sigh in his ear and knew John was breathing again.

"Oh, God! I'm still here!" he said grinning from ear to ear.

"Yes…you are," Ford said smiling softly.

"Interesting," whispered Zelenka.

"Interesting?" Rodney murmured.

"Interesting?" echoed John.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but ..." Carson began.

"... _why?_" Zelenka finished

"Exactly." Beckett agreed softly.

"Well, I don't care. I mean, I _really_ don't care!" he said grinning at Carson.

John smiled softly as he looked over at Teyla, "I'm glad you're okay McKay, now help us fix this damn problem."

"Sorry…"

> > > > > > >

The control room was a flurry of activity as various technicians used laptops to try to hack back into the mainframe. Elizabeth stood watching all the hubbub as John reported in over the radio.

"Doctor Weir?

"Yes, Major?" Weir said slightly aggravated.

"We've reached the city, but we haven't hit the city's quarantine. Are you sure it's locked you out?"

"Pretty sure. I can't even get into my office."

"Hasn't given us any trouble yet," John replied.

"Hazmat suits -- they're protected," Grodin suddenly called realizing what was wrong with this picture. "The city must be capable of sensing they're in no danger...and thinks we sent personnel to assist the infected."

"If that is the case, we should make our way to the Mess Hall. I imagine everyone there will be very scared and confused," spoke Teyla firmly.

> > > > > > > >

"Incubation to completion is exactly six hours. The visions are identical for all the infected, and the location of the aneurysm is the same for every single deceased." Rodney explained, he opened his laptop pressed a few keys and Carson stared at the picture

"Is that what I think it is?" Carson said eyeing his best friend.

"It's a nanovirus. One manufactured to kill humans."

"A nanovirus." Elizabeth spoke quietly.

"That's right."

"OK, let's pretend I don't know exactly what that is," Elizabeth said pausing.

"Nanotechnology -- it's, uh, technology that operates on a nanite scale. It's around, uh, around a billionth of a millimeter." Explained Rodney.

"Basically, they're microscopic machines that are able to carry out very specific tasks suited for their size," finished Carson.

"It's the whole idea of being able to swallow a pill and having a million little robots go to work and cure whatever ails you," Rodney continued.

"You're all infected with microscopic machines?" Elizabeth couldn't believe this was actually happening.

"Yeah, they're no bigger than a single-celled organism -- although instead of having a sole purpose of curing a disease or mending a blood vessel ..." Rodney agreed.

"... the virus is programmed to terrorise its victims by tapping into their visual cortex and then rupturing an artery in their brain ..." Carson said.

"... infecting others along the way as they can."

"There's one good thing: I doubt they can multiply. I don't know how many nanites it takes to kill a human but eventually I imagine they'll spread themselves too thin." Finished Carson.

"Could it be Wraith?" spoke Weir, trying to stay with her two favorite techno babblers.

"Major Sheppard, this is McKay."

"Obviously, what is it?"

"I could use your help at my lab."

"Alright, McKay, I'm here," John called a few moments later.

"D'you see it?"

"Is it the big thing in the middle of the room?"

"Yeah, that's the one."

"Should I pay attention to all these warnings?"

"Not today, no," Rodney replied.

"What are you gonna do?" Ford questioned.

"Well, small as they are, the nanovirus is still effectively just a machine run by a computer. The best way to knock out a computer is with an electromagnetic pulse. Thankfully, that's something we can do."

"It's working. When should I hit the discharge button?" Sheppard called through his radio.

"Okay -- there should be a red overload light," Rodney returned.

"Yeah, I see it."

"Wait til it comes on, give it a good ten count, and then discharge."

"A ten count!" John was lost, there were a million warnings.

"Don't worry -- I've probably been around more EMPs than anyone." Replied his brother.

"This is gonna be, uh -- I'm gonna be fine, right?" John inquired.

"Well…you may never have children, but no big loss…Yes. That's a yes -- you'll be fine," replied Rodney sarcastically.

> > > > > >

"You're only gonna have thirty seconds once you release it before it explodes. You need to get as far away as you can," Rodney spoke to his brother.

"Get as far away from the nuclear blast as I can…that's good advice Rodney, thanks," John said sarcastically.

"Your welcome." Rodney paused, afraid for a moment, "John…."

"I know Rodney…I know," John replied softly, looking at his controls he took a deep breath "I'm about to release the nuke."

> > > > > > >

John rushed down to the lab, he didn't care what anyone said, he had to see for himself. The door 'whooshed' open, and Rodney stepped out of the lab. John instantly threw his arms around his brother's neck.

Rodney was stunned, but instantly curled his arms around John as well. When John finally pulled away he looked at his brother, took in every feature, as though checking to make sure he was actually okay and alive.

"If you ever do that again," joked John.

"Look who's talking," chuckled Rodney.

"I'm glad you're okay," John whispered.

"I'm glad I'm okay too," joked Rodney as his brother shoved him playfully for his smart ass response.

> > > > > >

"Are you Okay?" Elizabeth asked a little later as John

"Yeah, just a little nuke -- nothin', really."

"The naqahdah generator plan was very clever. Good work."

"Thank you. Now, I'm going to bed." John said as he began to rise.

"We need to discuss what happened earlier."

"Now?"

"That can never happen again."

"Look, I'm sorry about ...

"I understand your expertise in military matters and I agree that I should defer to those expertise in such situations."

"Thank you!"

"But you are not the one who decides what is and what is not a military situation. Now, both General O'Neill and Colonel Sumner warned me that you don't respect the proper chain of command."

"Well, sometimes I see a situation a little different than ..."

"No. Listen to me, John. Now, you endangered yourself and the lives of many others."

"Including my brother! I'm sorry Elizabeth, but I wasn't going to stand by and just watch him die, or anyone else for that matter. I do things different sometimes, because I thought it was the best course of action to take -- and, by the way, I saved your ass."

"I know you did -- but you have to trust me."

"I do!" John replied.

"Do you? John, I didn't want any of these people to die either, especially Rodney, I wasn't going…"

"You guys have a minute? We've been able to spend some, uh, quality time with the, uh, nanovirus samples," Rodney interrupted as he and Carson entered Elizabeth's room.

"From what we can tell, they've all been incapacitated," explained Carson.

"Well, that's good news," returned Elizabeth.

"Yes. Also, upon further investigation, I think we can rule out that they were created by the Wraith. They're different than any Wraith technology we've come across thus far," Rodney continued.

"If not the Wraith, then who made 'em?" John questioned.

"I honestly don't know -- but whoever they were, let's just hope that they're not still around." Rodney finished.

"Let's hope," whispered Elizabeth.

TBC


	12. Finding Sanctuary

Chapter Twelve: Finding Sanctuary

Rodney McKay was pissed, but not just pissed, ready to spit bullets or nails or ready to spit "something" pissed. He was furious, he knew John could be arrogant, and even stupid, but he was bringing an alien they knew nothing about back to Atlantis with him. And now he seemed to be playing Captain Kirk with the woman. Rodney didn't care what Elizabeth said, or how little she thought of him at the moment. He knew he was right, and that there had to be something about this woman, something she wasn't saying. Even Carson seemed to think she was up to something. After what seemed like a long and aggrivating search, he spotted John coming out from the balcony. Rodney quickly stepped out from his hiding place and stood in front of him, he had no idea what to suddenly say to this man, or how to approach him. "Major," it was a clipped sound.

"Rodney. What are you doing up so late?" John was trying to sound innocent, but Rodney knew there was more to it than that.

"I was just, um, I couldn't sleep, so I was going back up to the Control Room to do a little research. What about you?"

"Oh, no thanks," John replied, getting a annoyed and confused look from his brother.

"No, I mean what were you doing up so late?"

"I'm always up late, Rodney."

"Word of caution? The whole Captain Kirk routine is problematic to say the least, let alone morally dubious," Rodney warned.

"What routine?" John asked innocently.

"The romancing of the alien priestess? It's very 1967 of you. Actually, I'm surprised ... "

"If and when anything I do becomes your business ... " Sheppard interrupted but was in turn interrupted by his brother.

"It becomes my business, Major, when an alien woman who is clearly not who she claims to be has the ranking military officer wrapped around her little finger!" he barked.

"Don't go there, McKay," it was a warning and Rodney knew it. And twenty years ago he might have taken it, or at least been afraid. But this time he wasn't backing down, even if it meant getting a good hit in the jaw from John for it.

"I'm sorry - I know I'm not normally Mr Sensitive, but you gotta believe me when I say there is something about her. I know it's intangible but I can feel it," he tried to reason, but he could see John becoming angrier.

"I said don't go there!" hissed John taking a step closer, causing Rodney to back right into a wall.

"It's just a matter of time before I prove it, Major," they both turned when they heard the door opening across the hall, there stood the problem. "I'm just recommending that in the meantime you keep your …" he stopped when he saw Chaya turn and walk out of the room, looking furious.

"Look, I'm not asking your opinion McKay, in fact, frankly I don't want it. Just because you suck with women doesn't mean we both need to be alone. Maybe for once you're wrong about something, and when I find out you are, I'm going to bury your nose in it for as long as I can. Get off my damn back," John shoved past McKay, leaving him there stunned. Rodney watched his brother walk away and sighed, amazing how a single woman could get between two best friends and brothers. He tried to continue to be angry, and a part of him still was, but more of him was hurting now, not phyiscal, but mentally. His brother had turned on him, in a matter of hours; becuase he thought one single woman was worth so damn much to everyone.

> > > > > >

"Did you sleep last night?" Weir asked early the next morning.

Rodney quickly shot her a death look and made her way over to a nearby laptop. "No. This is the data from the biometric sensors. I can't tell you exactly what all these signatures mean but look at this. These are ours and this, this is hers. There's a distinct difference." Rodney explained as he pointed to the various lines and images.

"She was born on another planet in another galaxy."

"They're different from Teyla's too."

"That doesn't mean ..." Elizabeth began.

"Elizabeth, she's not what she seems to be," Rodney was getting frustrated, he was suddenly starting to feel like the only reason anyone listened to him was because John was his brother. Yet she had picked Rodney before even knowing about John.

"I sense nothing but a very honest and spiritual person," Elizabeth explained easily as she continued to walk, not wanting to make contact with a set of distrusting, and broken blue eyes. She didn't want him to see her doubt either, to realize that she didn't trust him right now to keep his nose, and his mind out of this and let John be.

"Alright, there may be a way to find out. You're opening negotiations with her this morning, right?" he paused as Elizabeth nodded, "Okay, well let me sit in. I'll pretend to be taking notes on the laptop when really I'll be scanning her for anomalies: radiation, EM scans, energy signatures. That way, if I _am_ crazy, you and I are the only ones who need to know. What's the harm?" Rodney asked.

"Alright, but be discreet."

Rodney sat oppsite of Elizabeth at the briefing table, he had never expected to hear her blame him, even accuse him of what he had been doing. He was so surprised by what she had said and the daggers being sent at him by his brother that he stuttered for a moment.

"Have your scans found anything yet, Doctor McKay?" Chaya inquired.

"Um ... uh ... actually, no," he whispered in defeat as he closed his laptop.

"What the hell is this?" John growled glaring at his brother, as though he was ready to pounce.

"I'm sorry, Major. There was cause for legitimate concern as to ..." Elizabeth began.

"... whether I was or not who I claimed to be," Chaya finished.

"I'm sorry, Chaya. I honestly felt it would do no harm," whispered Elizabeth gently. She eyed Rodney, and felt bad for a moment, now everyone but Teyla seemed to be shooting glares at him.

"Stop apologizing, Elizabeth. How did she know?" Rodney pointed

"McKay!" growled John as he stood up to stare at his brother.

It was startling as Elizabeth watched the two brothers stand head to head, she suddenly had the feel this must have been how Mrs. Sheppard had felt raising these two boys. It was obvious that when they argued…they really argued.

"She's an Ancient, Major!" Rodney finally spat.

"She's what!" John said confused.

"I'm right, aren't I? The perfect health, the energy weapon, the fact that she has the gene. It's the only logical explanation," Rodney reasoned.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Sheppard growled, trying to keep from rounding and grabbing the man to strangle him.

"I just don't understand the act. I mean, you must know we'd give just about anything to talk to you, to learn from you. I mean, what is it? What, are you checking us out?" Rodney questioned his concern having gone from John's death stare to Chaya's.

"I see that in my desire to come to Atlantis, I have revealed too much of myself." She whispered.

"He's right?" Elizabeth said in surprise.

"I'm right!" Rodney spoke.

> > > > > >

Rodney watched his brother leave with her…and he looked down at the ground, he felt defeat, and anger running through his veins. He turned from Teyla and Elizabeth, feeling their heated glares on him and headed back to his lab. Where he could hide in peace and perhaps quiet…at least until his brother came looking to beat the crap out of him. The morning wore into afternoon and soon into night. Rodney was fairly sure John had returned at some point, but he chose to keep himself scarce so not to rile anyone. At least that had been the plan. However, the night was wearing down, and Rodney realized breakfast, lunch, and dinner had all passed him by. He couldn't remember when he had last eaten anything. He stood form his desk, preparing to make his way to his nearby cabinet for food when he suddenly became dizzy. He felt his empty stomach beckon him. He cursed himself for standing up so quickly, and grabbed the edge of the table. Why hadn't he noticed it earlier, he was cold, he could feel his hands shaking. His heart felt like it was pounding in his chest.

He reached out and struck the nearby intercom, "Beckett!" he cried.

"Rodney?" Came the sleepy voice on the other end of the radio.

"Help," was the last thing he could manage before Rodney dropped to the floor and into blackness.

Carson Beckett cursed when he heard his intercom beep incessantly at his side. He awoke when he heard Rodney's weak voice at the other end of the intercom. "Rodney?" Carson asked confused. He heard the weak help then the familiar thud of a body collapsing to a hard tile floor, "bloody hell!" he muttered. Reaching out he hit his intercom, "Rodney?" he called again, hoping against hope that Rodney had just fallen and would be back up. When he got no response he hopped out of bed, pulled on a pair of jeans and ran off in a hurry to find his favorite way ward scientist. Cursing the damn bastard all the way down to the labs. He pressed his hand against the panel of the door, it flew open and there lay Rodney McKay in a heap, his face pale and drawn.

"Oh Rodney," Carson murmured as he knelt down to his friend. He was relieved to found a pulse, albeit a fast paced one. It didn't take much to figure out that Rodney had collapsed from low blood sugar.

"DeSantos," he called clicking his radio he had brought with him.

"Yes Dr. Beckett?" the nurse called in response.

"I need a litter in Dr. McKay's main lab," he pulled out his supplies, pleased to see he had packed his latest medical kit with an IV laced with sugar. In one quick and…somewhat painless try Carson had the needle inserted into the vein.

"Come on Rodney," he whispered gently slapping the man's cheeks.

"Ca…carson?" Rodney asked looking around, "what…what happened?"

"Ya collapsed lad, and from the read out, I'd lay from low blood sugar son, you've got to stop this."

"I feel horrible," he murmured.

"Aye, I'm sure you have a doozy of a headache, sorry lad, you're going to be my resident for the next twelve to twenty-four hours."

"Ah hell," muttered Rodney as he looked around in exhaustion.

"My sentiments exactly," Carson said gently.

Nancy DeSantos and Dr. Nykl arrived ten minutes later, carrying the litter. They gently transported Rodney from the floor to the litter. Carson tucked a blanket around his shoulders and handed the man a fruit bar, "that best be gone when we get to the infirmary lad."

"Carson…" whispered Rodney.

"I know you don't feel good Rodney, but you know better than to not eat. Sorry," Carson helped carry Rodney to the infirmary, he touched his radio again, "Dr. Weir."

"I'm here Carson," Elizabeth spoke quickly in return, she was obviously wide awake, no doubt in her office trying to finish some paperwork.

"I'm taking Rodney to the infirmary, he will remain there for the next twelve to twenty-four hours. He is not to be interrupted, and you ought ta get yourself some sleep lass."

"Thank you Carson…what's wrong with Rodney?" she questioned.

"Low blood sugar, I would just feel better if I could get him to eat three meals instead of three steady pots of coffee," Carson stated.

"Did you want me to wake Sheppard?"

"Ay…"

"No Carson," mumbled the half asleep Rodney.

"Rodney doesn't, sorry lass, I have to respect those wishes."

"Very well, but I'm not responsible for what happens if he finds out from someone else."

"I know lass, but it's Rodney's request."

They deposited Rodney onto one of the beds. Carson watched carefully as he downed a semi decent meal, "breakfast tomorrow, I will be waking you up. Rodney, this must stop."

"I couldn't sleep…sometimes I just forget to eat."

"Rodney, ya've been a bloody hypoglycemic for nearly twenty years, you don't just forget with stuff like this. Not when you're messin' with your life."

"Carson…why am I here?"

"Excuse me?"

"Why am I here? No one trusts me, why did I come?"

"Because Elizabeth asked you, and you're the foremost knowledgeable scientist on the Stargate. People do trust you Rodney…"

"No, they don't, I sound so weak and pathetic, I just collapsed in my lab because I can't even take care of myself. My own brother chose a woman over me, and Weir chose to see the better side of her before listening to me. Where is that supposed to leave me?"

"Rodney, you're on this mission because Weir knew you would do your best for this job."

"Funny, no one else believed that, and I'm starting to wonder if maybe Dr. Weir is starting to second guess that decision."

"Are you?" Carson asked gently.

"Am I what?" Rodney asked.

"Second guessing that same decision?"

"I don't know."

"We're all scared Rodney…"

"I'm not scared…I…I'm alone."

"You're not alone Rodney, I promise you that, I'm here."

"I feel alone."

"Aye, I know…I do too, but you're not. Neither ofusare."

"I'm tired," Rodney said drawing into himself.

Carson sighed and nodded, seeing it as a sign, "Aye, get some sleep Rodney," Carson drew the blanket up further around his shoulders and watched as the man closed his eyes.

He knew Rodney felt more alone than he had in a long time, and silently he cursed John for bringing his brother down so harshly. Sighing he shook his head and headed off into his office, prepared for another night of sleeping on the couch he had set up.

> > > > > > >

"Carson!" called John early the next morning. Carson jolted from his fitful sleep prepared to whack Major Sheppard across the head if he had awoken the sleeping scientist.

"Shh, I have patients ya know!" hissed Carson as he came out of his office.

"Where's Rodney?"

"Why, decide you suddenly wanted to pay him attention and listen to him?" Carson bit, he hadn't meant for it to come out so accusingly, or harsh, but he was just as angry at John, as John was at Rodney.

"Excuse me?" John asked confused.

"Second bed, but don't you dare go in there accusing him John Sheppard," Carson warned.

"Why is he here?"

"He passed out from hypoglycemia. He was so worried about his brother that he forgot to eat…again."

"Dumbass," mumbled John as he swept over to his brother's bed.

Rodney was sleeping fairly soundly for the first time in weeks, John looked at him for a moment, "Rod, wake up," John called.

"No," mumbled Rodney.

"Rodney, wake up," John said shaking his legs.

"Leave me alone," Rodney growled drawing his legs up.

"Rod, I'm sorry…"

"Yeah, well I don't care," replied Rodney.

"Yes you do you big knuckle head, Rodney. Chaya was a good person, and she was an ancient."

"And I care because."

"Rodney, what's your problem?" John asked.

Rodney finally sat up, perhaps a bit to quickly, because he instantly saw stars, however he ripped away from the steadying arm, "my problem _Major_ is that everyone seems to trust you before me, and I was here first! You were some stupid add on! And yet everyone seems to turn to you first, the only thing I'm good for is saving the city and running myself and Carson ragged. I really do know what I'm talking about once in awhile!" growled Rodney.

"Rodn…"

"No, the head of this team believed you before she even considered believing me. I have a problem with that major. Because less than two weeks ago she was complaining about how you were insubordinate!"

"Rodney…listen to me."

"No, don't you get it, you're all I ever had, you Carson, Grodin, Zelenka, and Elizabeth. People seem to think I'm crazy until you tell them otherwise."

"John," came Carson's voice.

"Rodney, I really am sorry…."

"Well I don't care," stated Rodney.

"Come on lad, come back later today," Carson suggested as he gently closed the curtain around Rodney's bed.

"I…"

"Look John, it's true what he says a lot of people really do think he's just a big bag of wind, but for someone reason seeing him around you, changes them to believe maybe he's worth something. That's not fair to him, not to any of us, because the last thing we need is a very annoyed, very cranky, and very unsure of himself doctor. No matter how much he seems to be arrogant, he has just as many doubts about himself. He shouldn't always have to be the strong one, or the smart one, sometimes he just wants to be Rodney McKay, the brother and the friend."

"Will you tell him I'm sorry?"

"Aye, but I don't think he'll listen to me. I knew him for eleven months before ever meeting you lad, and it took a long time to break those walls down. It took a long time for all of us to really get past the Rodney McKay he wanted us to see."

"I never meant to hurt him."

"Aye, no one ever means to hurt anyone do they now."

"He's my brother Carson…"

"I know, but yesterday you made him feel like just another annoying scientist. An' that isn't fair Major."

"Yeah…listen take care of him, I'll talk to him when he gets out."

"It's my job to care for my patients, it's my friendship with Rodney that makes me care for him."

TBC


	13. Brotherhood In All it

Chapter Thirteen: Brotherhood…in All it's Glory

John knew that he and his brother's relationship was currently sketchy at best, he had hurt his brother, and in defense, Rodney had put up every wall he had available at the time. He watched Rodney flinch when they heard Koyla's voice, he watched Rodney set his jaw as he called out to the bastard and told him to raise him up. John sighed as he sat back against the rocks, Teyla and Ford were currently the only two people in the cave with him.

"You are worried about Doctor McKay?" Teyla questioned.

"Yeah…"

"You have not been getting along very well lately," Teyla was as wise as most people twice her age, but John nodded.

"We tend to do that…don't we? You're right, the bastard drives me crazy."

"He is a good man."

"He's a great man…remember when I told you I had a younger brother…Rodney is my younger brother. A year younger than me…I met him when he was ten, my parents adopted him when he was twelve. He was one hell of a kid."

"You protect him well."

"No…not as well as I used to. Back when he actually wanted to be helped and protected. Now he wants to prove he's worth something."

"What do you mean?" Ford questioned.

"He thinks everyone thinks he's insane. Which is completely crazy…"

"I dunno Major, some people think he's crazy that's for sure."

"Well he isn't! He was so different as a boy…we both were. So much more innocent We both were…to tell you the truth he was always a bit of a dreamer…my dad asked him one time what he wanted to be when he grew up, he looked up at my dad so confidently and stated simply, he wanted to be a astronaut. He could have done it too, seriously he was such a smart little bastard. No just a smart ass, but he was smart, he skipped a grade, then eventually I caught up with him…but he was so smart. He even enjoyed flying, my dad took him up in his first jet when he was ten."

"You love him," Teyla spoke.

"Yeah…obviously since we're men, we never really see much of a point in telling each other that, it's a guy thing I suppose," whispered John.

"He hurts," whispered Teyla.

"I know…and it's my own damn fault, I hurt him, I caused him to decide he had to prove something to everyone. It's my fault."

"You cannot blame yourself for the choices of a grown man."

"No, but Rodney is weird, he's got an ego bigger than…well than Atlantis, but when it comes to being told he's wrong…you have to stroke his ego for months after wards. He's very…very self-consciousness."

"Is that why you picked him for our team?" Aiden questioned.

"No…I chose Rodney for our team because he didn't deserve to be sitting at a desk every day and he's an honest, good man who has and will save our lives."

"He is indeed a very smart man," Teyla said smiling.

"Yeah, and I've been berating and nagging him for weeks…Weir and Beckett are both pissed off with me about that."

"Perhaps you should make it up to him, he is after all, as you say his brother."

"Yes he is…I've got an idea…" John whispered.

> > > > >

John watched as they practically dropped his brother to the floor of the cavern. He bit his lip to keep from killing Koyla, Rodney looked horrible, perhaps not terrified but he was definitely hurting.

"I just assume that we put the stones on the pedal stool, someone put their hands on the palm prints and hopefully we will get the ZedPM. The question is what order do we put the stones in?" bit McKay as Koyla shoved him at the pedal stool.

"I think it's pretty straight forward." Prenos hissed from Rodney's side.

"Well nothing's been straight forward yet. What makes you think this would be?" Rodney growled at the Genii guard. The man sneered at him.

"The last stone is the only one with grooves that match the centre position." The man replied angrily.

"So?" McKay spoke.

"So it fits snugly into place, complete the pattern get the ZPM. Why would they continue to play games at this point?" Prenos spoke arrogantly.

"I really don't think you understand how these people thought…" Rodney began.

John could see his brother was becoming infuriated, he didn't say anything, but kept his eyes on his brother.

"McKay. Stop stalling," Koyla spoke firmly, gun still pointed at McKay.

"I'm not stalling I just think we need to consider the fact…"

"Prenos arrange the stones and retrieve the ZPM please," called Koyla forcefully.

Prenos nodded, and took the stone from Rodney. He moved past the doctor and placed it in the center square, he looked back at Koyla, nodded and pressed his hands to the palm prints. Everyone watched in stunned silence as clamps suddenly closed on his arms. Prenos hissed in pain.

"Mckay!" Koyla growled.

"What do you want me to do!" McKay hissed in return, knowing this would happen.

"What's this?" Prenos questioned as he looked at his hands which had just been released. The sign of the brotherhood was cut into his palms. John and Rodney watched as the Genii's eyes rolled into the back of his head and he collapsed dead to the floor.

"He's dead," Koyla stated, he stood up glaring at Rodney, inches from his face, "you knew this would happen!"

"Yes yes I did. In fact I was in the middle of telling you as much when you ordered him to activate the pedal stool. Look you killed him not me!"

"What is the correct order of the stones?" Koyla's voice was soft and dangerous, foreboding.

"I'm not sure yet," muttered Rodney.

Koyla smirked and moved over to John, pointing his gun at the military officer he smiled, "well you have four chances to get it right. "You go first," he told John.

There was something about these two men, Koyla didn't know what it was, but Rodney would work harder knowing it was someone he care about.

"Anytime you want to start ah…" John whispered a few minutes later as he stood by the pedal stool.

"I'm thinking I'm thinking I'm thinking…." Replied Rodney.

"Alright. We tried 1 to 9."

"Thank you yes."

"Well how about 9 to 1?" suggested John.

"Well possibly. Look Prenos was right. The centre stone is the only one that locks into place, all the others must move around it. I'm just trying to think of a combination that makes sense with 5 in the middle," countered Rodney.

"15. it's got to be something to do with 15. or…9 or…5…"

"Shut up please. I'm trying to think," Rodney hissed as he stood by his brother. He had to save him, it didn't matter what he kept thinking, he had to save his brother, he couldn't lose the last remaining member of his family.

"Don't tell me to shut up Rodney. My life's at stake," replied John.

"Exactly so simmer down and let me save it…"

"Heard the term two heads are better than one?"

"It's a common misconception."

"Give me the gun. I'll shoot him myself," John said as he glared at Koyla. He knew Rodney was doing his best, and his constant rambling wasn't helping him. Rodney had seen his brother die once already John knew Rodney couldn't lose him, because John couldn't lose Rodney.

"This is taking too long. Choose and go," Koyla spoke from his position to the left.

"You got somewhere you got to be?" growled Rodney.

"Choose and go!" Koyla bit back.

"I got nothing," Rodney said looking up at his brother.

"Thanks for the pep talk," John looked at his brother and saw defeat in his eyes, perhaps an apology.

"9 to 1 that's all I can think off," whispered Rodney.

"Alright. Step back," John wasn't going to wait to die by Koyla's gun. He stared at the pedal stool and sighed, racking his brain for an answer…anything.

"I'm sorry," murmured Rodney.

"I'm not dead yet," John replied, not meaning to sound nasty.

"I got it!" John suddenly gasped, stunned that he had figured it out.

"What?" Rodney asked as he came towards his brother.

"The brotherhood of fifteen!"

"What about it?"

"The numbers 1 to 9 have been put in 3 by 3 grids with fifteen in every direction."

"Oh You're right…how'd you know that?" Rodney said confused, unsure why that surprised him. John had always been really smart.

"It was on the mensa test" replied John.

"You're a member of mensa?"

"No I took the test."

"When?"

"You wanna talk about this now Rodney?"

> > > > > >

"I need my eyes for seeing!" cried Rodney rubbing at his eyes.

"I'm sorry, but...well we had to do it," John tried to explain.

"But my eyes!"

"Rodney..."

"My eyes..."

"Rodney, lets move out," John called as he looked around and made sure everything was secure to go.

"I can't believe you never mentioned the mensa thing."

"I took the test, I never joined…"

"But you passed?" Rodney questioned.

"Yes."

"Well you know we have we have a chapter on Atlantis you should—"

"Rodney. Rodney up the rope." John said pointing up.

> > > > > > >

It was nearing night on Atlantis, and John knew exactly where his brother would be. Taking a deep breath he knocked on the door to the lab, waiting for some kind of response. The door slip open and a very annoyed looking Zelenka stepped up mumbling someone in another language.

"Spreading comfort and joy as usual I see Rodney," John spoke as he entered the lab. His brother was hunched over a nearby computer, "hey, Valentino, you okay?" he joked.

"Leave me alone," came McKay's response.

"Nope, sorry, what's up."

"Nothing I'm fine…."

"You are the worst liar in human history."

"Gee thanks John, because now I feel soo mucuh better."

"Look McKay, I came here to ask you…if you needed to talk to someone?"

"I'm fine."

"Uh…okay, but I'm here if you need anything…" John could take a hint and headed for the door, he paused before leaving and looked back at his brother, "I'm sorry Rodney," whispered John.

Rodney turned hearing his brother's words just in time to see the back of his brother as he walked away. He sighed, thinking for a moment then turned back to his work.

TBC


	14. Letters From Pegasus

Author's Note: Once again thanks for all the reviews and the understanding, also thank you to those of you who noticed my pedalstool issue, I'd like to apologize, my spell check apperently didn't recgonize the word, no matter how many different ways I attempted to spell it, and it came up with the most logical solution to split up the two words. I do apologize for that. Also thank you for all your patience, I'm on a bit of a break form the writing right now, with a bunch of packing and cleaning to do before I leave, but I will also mention that I have several more chapters planned out for this story as well as another story for a crossover between Stargate Atlantis, and another fandom that I've been longing to do for awhile now...and as soon as I figure out a really good plot, I swear I will write it :) Anyway please read and review, I apologize for the shortness here, but it's not the length...it's the depth...I hope.

Chapter Fourteen: Letters for Those We Love

"Okay, recording. Plenty of battery. So why am I not seeing anything? Oh, stupid! Hi, Grandma, Grandpa! It's me, Aiden ... obviously! Um, talking to you from a place ... far, far from home. I'm good, though. You don't have to worry. Life here's pretty routine. I'm hoping that I'll be able to get home some time soon but, y'know, if I'm stuck here a while, I want you to know that I'm good. I'm doing things, seeing things I never thought I'd see. I wish I could tell you all about it. Who knows – one day maybe I'll be able to. But I want you both to know that you're right here always – all the time," Aiden sighed softly and turned the camera off.

Aiden Ford sat down, and flipped the tape into the video camera, he pressed play and waited. Rodney McKay came into view he smiled for a minute…

_"I'm Doctor Rodney McKay…and…ah…this message…well I've got a million things to say and…this first message goes to my brother….John, obviously there's probably no chance you'll see this, hell your in the same situation as me…but ah…I want you to know that I'm glad I got you back…the next message…is for my sister…Jeannie…it's your brother…Rodney…obviously. Listen Jeannie, I know we were never really all that close, but I really do want you to be happy_ _I wanna say something. Uh ... family is important. I-I've come to realize that because the people here have become a sort of a ... kind of a surrogate family to me. Now, I know what you're thinking: I've never really been the poster child for that kind of sentiment but, uh, when ... when one's contemplating ones own demise, one tends to see things more clearly. I really do wish you the best, you know, and I'm sorry we weren't closer. Perhaps, um ... if by chance I make it out of this, perhaps one day we __can__ be, and I would like that. I want you to know something else…I was happy, after dad died, I don't blame you for leaving…hell I would have left too…but, well just know that I was lucky enough to be cared up for by two amazing people…I even have a brother…Anyway…back to my original speech…leadership…"_

Ford shook his head and smiled as he moved onto the next tape… John Sheppard appeared on the screen, his smile disappaited slightly, "_I don't really have anyone to send this too…well, okay a couple people, Cheryl, I realize you haven't seen me…but I want you to know that I really am sorry…I hope you're happy with Jeff…tell Lisa I love her…and that I really miss her…uh…and Rodney…you'll probably laugh at me leaving you a message that with our luck we'll never see because we're both dead…but…shit McKay, we've been through so much, and more than most people do…we're in another galaxy and that in it'self is more than most people can say…I just want you to know…I wasn't always the best brother, but I did go and talk to mom…just before she died, she adored you Rodney…she had a miscarriage several years before you came along…you really helped to heal that pain…mine and dad's too. You're a really good guy, and smart too. Hang in there Rodney, we're going to need you a lot more in the future if we get our asses out of this…and we will, we have to."_

Ford sighed, he never realized the two brothers were so amazingly close to one another, sighed he again switched tapes… _"Mum…I know ya worry 'bout me, but ya shouldn't, I'm doing very well here…tell Andy and Lilly that I expect them to be good for ya…mum, don't worry about me please, I've got a good thing here…some amazing friends. There are these two lads, brother's…their relationship was a lot like Andrew's and mine…tell him I miss him mum…watching these two is like seeing Andy again, it helps keep me going. I love ya mum, but…this is where I belong, and if I don't see you again, please know that I died doing something great, something I never planned to do before. Please be proud of me mum…I love ya…"_ Aiden watched the doctor's face crumble as he covered it with one hand.

Ford sighed, it was hard to say goodbye, this didn't seem right or fair, with a final breath he turned Weir's on. He watched for a few minutes as she told all the dead soldiers' families how sorry she was and what an amazing contribution they had made, finally she straightened up, _"Simon…I…I'm sorry, Not a day goes by that I don't think of you, Simon. There's so much I wanna tell you, and share with you, but I can't. I know this is unfair – so much you don't know – and putting your life on hold for me. So don't. All I ask is you take care of yourself, and know that wherever you are, my heart is looking after you. And finally…to Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter…I'm sure by now you'll have seen something from our mutual friend Dr. Rodney McKay…he's done some amazing work, he's a strong man…I don't know the man you saw…but I know the man I saw…I just want you to know, he's grown a lot…we all have."_

Ford smiled, he had suspected for awhile that Elizabeth may have had something for the scientist, she was the only person on the entire base that could silence him with a glance, but she never cut him down. She was the first to offer help, and the last to scold. Maybe there could be something there, and maybe there couldn't be, he would never know, but he knew that she cared for him. Besides right now he had to get this tape to Rodney so the scientist could finish his work.

> > > > > > >

A lone woman sat quietly in her living room staring at the TV, watching the face on the screen before her, "I really do want you to be happy," he whispered to her. His blue eyes so sincere, his voice filled with tears, his face looked so defeated.

"Mommy!" came a voice from behind her. Turning Jeannie smiled softly as her youngest daughter hurried to her side, the twelve year old hugged her mother with gusto.

"Hey sweetie, how was your day?" she asked smoothly, pretending she wasn't really affected by the man on the TV.

"Okay…mom who is that man?"

"Oh…just a friend sweetie, don't you have some homework to do?"

"Yes," grumbled the child as she headed into her bedroom. Jeannie smiled softly and looked back at the TV. She had prayed for nearly twenty years that her brother would be fine, she had always regretted leaving him there with such a brutal man, but if she had stayed her eldest child, Dana would be dead or in an orphanage not working on her third year in college studying to be an astrophysicist.

"She's so much like you Roddy, you'd be surprised," Jeannie whispered softly as she turned the TV off.

TBC


	15. Among the Seige

Author's Note: I couldn't write out the entire epsiode, so I did scenes we didn't see. Just for the record, there will be hints of ships during this story, but at NO point will it become a ship. There will be some moments between Weir and McKay, or Sheppard and Teyla, or even Rodney and Carson(not slash) but this will never become a pairing story, simply becuase it's suppose to be a lot like the show just with them as brothers. So please stick with me here :) I leave Saturday and this puppy (my computer) will be going bye bye Friday night, so tomorrow and maybe Friday morning will be the last reviews before I'm off. Take care everyone!

Chapter Fifteen: Among the Siege

To the common observer it would have simply looked like two men talking to one another, no heat or anger, nothing more and nothing less. It would have seemed a little odd, but nothing unusual, maybe even a commander giving his teammate a well wishing before the teammate took off.

However Zelenka was no common observer, he had found out about Rodney and John's relationship shortly after the nanovirus incident, he had heard the two talking, and heard them talking about family. That was the first time Zelenka realized they were brothers.

John stood a few inches taller than his younger brother, and looked at the younger man intently, he couldn't hear the conversation, but he could easily guess that John was indeed wishing him well.

"Listen…try and bring yourself back in one piece, we kinda need ya around here," John whispered as he looked at his brother.

"I'll do my best…" he said smiling.

"Rod…"

"I know John…believe me I really do know…listen…take care of Elizabeth for me," he whispered.

"She can take care of hers…"

"I know…but it helps to have someone to talk to…you know that…"

"Yeah I do, I'll watch out for her I promise."

"Thanks…"

"Take care bro," John said shaking his best friend and brother's hand.

> > > >

The words rang through his ears "so long Rodney." That was his screwed up way of saying goodbye and that it had been one hell of a year…one hell of nearly eleven years of knowing each other, being brothers.

"There must be a…" Rodney watched him run out of the room. Rodney ran all the way to the gate room, his legs carrying me as fast as he could go. At some point Carson caught up with him, he even beat Rodney up the stairs. Rodney knew what John was planning. He knew and he also knew it was his fault John felt he had to go do this. It ceased to amaze Rodney how he could continue to fail his friends and family.

**"**You let Sheppard fly that Jumper?" Rodney murmured, his heart dropped at the look of fear and pain in Elizabeth's face.. Rodney wanted to scream and yell. It shouldn't have been John in that jumper. 'It should be me' thought Rodney 'I'm expendable, there are dozens of scientists who could replace me here, no one…no one could ever replace John.'

Rodney didn't realize how much he cared for his annoying older brother, but he was helpless without John. John was the best friend he had aside from Elizabeth and Carson, maybe even Zelenka, but…to lose John would hurt more than anything.

Rodney had been so careful, he would let people in and then shut them out as soon as he felt they were getting too close. He had been in control, then John and his family came, and Carson, Elizabeth, Zelenka, Peter even Gaul and Abrams. Rodney let them all get too close, and now they were all going to die because of him and his stupid inability to see and prevent things.

Rodney looked at Elizabeth then Carson, pushing back his struggling desire to apologize, to say goodbye and to hold Elizabeth's hand. Was that all our friendship was all our childhood was, "so long Rodney." Rodney felt his stomach churn and his eyes burn with fresh tears.

**"**Help me arm the self destruct, in case this fails." Elizabeth spoke, Rodney simply nodded and moved over to the controls. He felt hopeless, he was at a complete loss for words. 'Was there something so wrong with me that I kept loosing those I cared about?' Thought Rodney. He want to speak, but there's nothing to say. Those words said it all, "so long Rodney." No goodbye, no pain, he would die to save them and Rodney wouldn't stop him. he couldn't. Just like John wouldn't stop Rodney if he was trying to do the same thing. John knew it was a suicide mission and he wouldn't let anyone else take the job.

Rodney had failed him, after all the sleepless hours, all the adrenalin rushes and little to no food he had failed him. Rodney had failed all of them. He stood here waiting, just listening with his other friends and kept hoping the Daedalus would show up to rescue all of them before John killed himself in what end as a futile attempt.

> > > >

There was silence, as Rodney looked at John, as though they were waiting for the bombs to start dropping, waiting for the Wraith to realize they were still here. Sheppard looked at the gate in defeat, he had let him get away.

"Rodney?" questioned Elizabeth.

"They're breaking for hyperspace," he replied confidently.

"Good work Rodney, now get some sleep," she said softly clapping him on the shoulder.

Rodney sighed, and lowered himself into the nearest chair, he felt sick; tired, his hands were shaking, whether from sheer exhaustion, withdraw from his bomb building pills, or from his hypoglycemia he didn't know. He didn't care, he buried his face in his hands, his mind running over the hundreds of things left to do, running over those they had lost in the battle. And they had indeed lost so many.

"Rod…" Carson's voice caused him to jump. He looked up, how long had he been sitting here, how long since the attacks, at least long enough to have John, Weir and Carson standing around him with worried looks in their eyes.

"I'm okay…sorry," he whispered.

"No, you're not, come here lad," Carson whispered as he gently helped Rodney to his feet. Rodney stood for a moment, waiting for the rest of his world to stop spinning. "You too Major, you're both dead on your feet. And as for you lass, go get some sleep, I'm serious," he stated simply.

"Will do Carson, as soon…"

"Nye, now Doctor, before I put you in a bed," stated Carson.

"All right," she whispered.

"Good, come on boys," Carson said smiling as he led his two friends from the gate room.

"You're really okay?" Rodney whispered some twenty or thirty minutes later with a tray of food in front of him.

John looked over from his bed and smiled softly, "Yeah…I'm really okay…it's a little hard for me to believe too…Rod, I'm really proud of you…"

"I'm sorry John…"

"Why now?"

"You shouldn't had to have gotten into that jumper."

"I'd do it again in a heart beat Rodney, and it wasn't your fault. You did everything you could…"

"No…"

"Yes Rodney, you save our asses…again, we're alive today because you saved us."

"You really believe that?"

"Yes…" murmured John.

"It wasn't your fault either…"

"Huh?"

"Aiden…he chose to leave on his own John, we tried to help him. You couldn't have stopped him, the Wraith side took over, the need for a drug. We've both seen what drugs can do to people, trust me, there was nothing you could have done."

"I'd love to believe that right now…"

"John, it wasn't your fault."

"Tell you what, I'll stop blaming myself if you stop blaming yourself," whispered John.

Both men knew they would never keep the promise, it wasn't possible, they had both lost people that they blamed themselves for their deaths, that wouldn't change.

"Yeah…right."

TBC


	16. Gong Home

Author's Note: Sorry bout yesterday guys, I got really busy, there's a lull today, so I'll give you this chapter today to survive off of for awhile, and a chapter for Rilure :) Smile, please review and wish me luck tomorrow is the ultimate move!

Chapter Sixteen: Going Home

"Keep the lights on!" called Elizabeth as she and her chief of staff looked at the wormhole, she eyed Rodney and grinned. He reached out and squeezed her hand. With a deep breath they stepped through the gate. Rodney took a deep breath as he came through the other side. No one who he knew stood there, seemed familiar to him.

"Welcome home Atlantis, General Jack O'Neill will be here shortly to join us in the debrief." Spoke General Landry.

"Great," murmured Rodney from Elizabeth's side.

"You must be General Landry, nice to meet you, I'm Doctor Elizabeth Weir, this is my Chief Medical Officer Doctor Carson Beckett, my Head of the Science Department Doctor Rodney McKay, and my Military officer Major John Sheppard."

"Nice to meet you all, please feel free to use the facilities to get cleaned up, we'll be meeting in the briefing room in two hours."

> > > >

Rodney sighed four hours lateras he plopped down in the chair at one of the tables in the mess hall, and placed the tray down on the table. "Tired?" a voice caused him to jump. Looking up Rodney was stunned to see Sam Carter standing there.

"Uh…yes…" he murmured.

"What's wrong McKay, forgot how to talk while you were in Atlantis," she joked as she sat down across from him.

"No…"

"Rodney!" came a voice from the doorway. Rodney turned, never happier to see Carson in his entire life.

"Colonel Carter, this is Doctor Carson Beckett, Carson this is Sam," Rodney quickly introduced.

"Nice ta meet ye lass, Rodney forget this junk, the Air Force has given us credit cards, and cars, we can go out and dine like kings," grinned Carson.

"Really?" Rodney said smiling in return.

"Aye, come on, John, Elizabeth and I heard about this great bar where they serve steak…and beer," he said grinning.

"Uh…sorry Colonel, I've gotta go," Rodney said as he followed his best friend out the door.

Sam watched as Carson clapped his friend on the shoulder and led him out of the hall. She shook her head, and dug into her food.

> > > >

"So we get fourteen days of rest and relaxation?" Carson said grinning at Elizabeth's words.

"Well…more like ten, I need each one of you to help me pick new people…to replace…"

"We understand Elizabeth, and we'll be there…" John replied grinning.

"Carson…does this smell like it has lemon on it,' Rodney said looking at his meal.

"Rodney its steak…" stated John.

"And you're point is? I don't want to spend a single day of my vacation in the infirmary," glowered Rodney.

"No Rodney it doesn't smell like lemon, not that I can tell," explained Carson smiling.

"So…Rodney, what are you doing tomorrow?"

"Actually…I was going to my apartment…assuming it's still there, maybe visit my cat…try to find Jeannie…"

"Right…need a companion?" John questioned.

"Uh…sure," Rodney replied.

"What about you Carson, what are you up to?" Elizabeth said smiling softly at the Scotsmen.

"I am headed home tomorrow night, for a week in my home sweet home, perhaps visit with my sister and wee brother…"

"That's good to hear," Elizabeth replied, "John?"

"I'll be with Rodney…although I do have one stop to make…actually two…"

"Yeah, I've got a few stops to make too," Rodney spoke, "So Liz," the nick name surprised Elizabeth but she smiled softly, "what will you be up to?"

"Well, I want to visit Simon…see how he's fairing, I've got some meetings…I'd like to visit my brother while I'm here too."

"You have a brother?" Carson asked in surprise.

"Yes, he's twenty-five, and he's a great kid."

"What's his name?" John questioned.

"William," she said smiling.

"Good name," replied Rodney smiling.

"Is it weird I miss Atlantis already?" Carson questioned, surprising everyone.

"No, we all do," chuckled John grinning.

Without another word the four friends continued their dinner in peace, enjoying the small conversations, even a little banter; as the evening faded into the night.

> > > > >

Rodney groaned as he rolled over on his cot, groaning at the consistent pounding at the door. He mumbled something as he pulled his pillow over his head. He gasped when he suddenly felt the blanket yanked off his bare back. "What the!" he growled as he sat up to stare his older brother in the face.

"Sorry Rod, but we've got a full day ahead of us…by the way I located your sister, and if you're willing to come with me to see…an old friend, I'm willing to go with you to see her," he suggested.

"You do realize it's only seven in the morning?" Rodney groaned as he reached out and grabbed for his shirt.

"Ah ah, no little brother, we're going casual, here are some jeans and a nice shirt, get dressed, I'll be back in ten minutes, and don't bother with breakfast, we're dinning," stated his brother.

"I hate you," mumbled Rodney as he pulled his jeans over his boxers, nearly falling over as he tried to pull them up.

John closed the door to his brother's room and headed off to Elizabeth's room, not surprised when she answered the door with a tired smile on her face, "good morning John," she said smiling at him.

"Morning, Rodney and I are going to go hang out and visit some people for a few days, probably four or five tops…do you mind?"

"Not at all, take care of yourself, and that brother of yours," she said grinning.

"I don't get you," he said chuckling.

"Excuse me?" she said rising an eyebrow.

"Just tell the whiny bastard you like him," John said, he gave her a quick grin and headed off in the other direction. Leaving Elizabeth dumbfounded.

"Ready to go?" John said opening the door.

"As ready as I'm going to get…John…what if she doesn't want to see me?"

"I've been asking myself the same question for hours," whispered John.

"About who?"

"Let's head to my SUV before I explain that one."

"We got an SUV?"

"Well, it's really cool jeep," John replied.

They climbed into the green jeep and headed out on the road before Rodney rephrased his questioned, "who was she?"

"Her name is Cheryl, she's two years younger than me, and I met her during one of my trips home to the states…we spent a few nights together, one thing led to another…"

"And then she had a kid?"

"Yeah, the little girl's name is Lisa, and she's adorable, looks a little like our mom. She's about…six or seven now. Cheryl and I stayed together a year after that, but she eventually got tired of the whole military thing and left me, she took Lisa with her. Cheryl remarried and I was alone."

"I'm sorry," whispered Rodney.

"Don't be…it's not your fault, I was too stupid to realize what she really wanted…" he took a turn into a gated cemetery.

"Wow…it's been awhile since I've seen this place," chuckled Rodney softly.

"Yeah…me too."

He pulled off to the right, and parked the jeep. The two brothers walked over to a small plot of land, where two gravestones sat in the ground. They were simple messages.

Lauren Michelle Sheppard Lucas James Sheppard

1938-1993 1938-1995

Beloved Mother and Wife Beloved Father and Husband

But to the boys they meant the world that someone had thought of them. Rodney knelt down and touched his mother's grave, "you wouldn't believe some of the things we've seen mom, we've been protecting each other…"

"We miss you guys…wish we could tell you everything we've been doing, the things we've seen," John continued as he knelt down beside his brother and spoke to his parents.

"Stay safe wherever you guys are," Rodney whispered. John placed a bouquet of flowers by both tombstones and together the two brothers stood up and headed back to their car.

"Now where to?" Rodney asked as he took a seat in the car.

"Well, your sister lives in Wyoming, and Cheryl lives in Seattle, so take your pick, either way it's going to be a while until we get to both places."

"Let's go to Seattle first…I'm not ready to see Jeannie just yet."

"Oh, and I'm so ready to go see Cheryl…just what I need, to face my ex-wife."

"Did mom and dad know?"

"No…dad had ideas, but he never knew, and mom died before I even got married."

"Think you'll ever remarry?"

"Is that your screwed up way of asking if I like Teyla?"

Rodney smiled and chuckled, "yeah I guess so…do you?"

"Well of course I like her…I wouldn't have chosen her for the team…do I love her…I don't know, it's a weird thing to love a woman Rod, one minutes they love you back and the next minute their PMSing…" John said grinning, "Teyla is something else, I'll give you that…aside from that, I don't know if we could ever get together and be happy. There is so much to do…you know how I feel, look at you and Liz, would you date her, knowing that you still have to remain the same with one another in public no matter what? We've got an entire galaxy out there, and I'm not sure it would be very fair to any of us to start relationships right now." murmured John.

"Yeah…" he whispered.

"She cares very much for you Rodney," John whispered.

"You think so?"

"I've seen the way she looks at you, and lets face it Rodney, no one else in this world, aside from maybe mom, could shut you up with a look like the ones she shoots you."

"You're probably right," chuckled Rodney.

> > > > >

He walked up the small hill that led to his beautiful home, he had missed it deeply, everything was so green, so plush, it had to be seventy outside, and for the first time since he'd arrived on earth, he wasn't missing the lapping of the waves against Atlantis. He reached out, almost afraid the door knob would burn him, his mind wandering, where were Rodney and John now, and Elizabeth how was she fairing. With a deep breath he turned his key and opened the door.

The lights were low, though it was still quite early in the morning for Scotland, so they may all still be asleep. He closed the door, and gently placed his suitcase on the floor. He looked around, taking in all the makings of the old beautiful home. He loved this place so deeply, so completely.

"Who's there?" came a strong masculine voice from the staircase.

"Andy?" he called in return.

"Ca…" seconds later he had a strong twelve year old boy clinging to him as hard as he could, sobbing into his shoulder.

"I'm here Andy, I'm home," Carson whispered as he held the crying child.

"Carson?"

"Mum," Carson gently put his brother down and moved towards the stairs, he smiled up at the beautiful woman looking down at him, he missed her, more than anything in the world. She came down the stairs, standing on the final step, a head taller than her boy, and pulled him into a strong hug.

"My little boy," she whispered taking his face in her hands. Carson grinned and gently touched her hand resting against one of his cheeks.

"Aye, it's me…"

"How long are you here for?"

"A few days…I'm sorry, we can't stay longer than that…we have to get back to our base…"

"How many of you came home?"

"Ten or eleven of us….so many more wanted to come…we just couldn't afford….to leave or base."

"Well at least you're home for now, come, it's late and you must be tired…"

> > > >

It was a beautiful house, Rodney watched as John pulled to a stop in front of the house. He paused, gazing over at his brother as well.

"Do you want me to come in?" Rodney questioned.

"I may not even be going in…" joked John.

"I'll be right here…"

"No…you have the right to meet your niece, come on buddy," John dragged him out of the car.

John paused in front of the door, a little afraid to knock on the door, afraid of what Cheryl would say to him, or what she wouldn't say. It had been a long time since he'd really seen her. They had talked off and on, Cheryl had openly told him she was never really over him, but let him go for the sake of Lisa.

"John…" Rodney nudged his best friend.

"Sorry," he reached out and quickly rapped on the door. The two waited.

"I GOT IT!" came a cry from inside.

A small boy about five or six years old stood there, and Rodney was surprised to see the boy looked just like John. Although John looked just as shocked as his brother.

"Johnny…" came the beautiful voice. "oh my…Johnny, why don't you go play in your room," the woman suggested smiling softly at the little boy.

"Kay mommy," with that the child ran off.

"I…I got the tape…I thought you had died…" she whispered looking at him.

"Cheryl…" John began.

"Please come in…Rob is at work, but he won't mind, he knows about you," she spoke softly inviting the two men in.

"Oh…uh, this is my brother, Rodney," John introduced.

"Hi, John told me all about you, please come in."

"Cheryl…I'm sorry I really didn't mean to bust in on your life…I had to see you…to see Lisa…"

"I know…so…obviously you survived, don't suppose you can tell me where you've been?"

"You know I can't…the…Johnny….is he?"

"Yes…he's fifteen months younger than Lisa…and yes they both know you're they're father. Well actually it's more like they know Rob isn't their father. I don't have many recent pictures to show them of you…"

"Why didn't you tell me Cheryl?"

"Tell you what, that I was pregnant again, John, you were in love with your career, I don't know how I even fit into the equation. By the fact that I haven't seen you in a year tells me your all that more in love with your career."

"They're my children…"

"I know, but they're mine too, and I had to do what I thought was right."

"Yeah…"

"John, please don't be angry, it's not your fault, besides now you can be happy with someone else," she whispered to him.

"I was happy Cheryl, I was happy with you and Lisa, and I would have been happy with Johnny, I would have left it all for you…"

"No you wouldn't have John, you couldn't leave the Air Force if you wanted to…"

"We should go," murmured John as he stood up, Rodney instantly followed.

"John, wait, you wanted to see them…I could tell them…"

"No…Cheryl, listen to me, I'm not coming back…not here, and not America. When I walk out that door I'm walking out permanently, forever and always. If you told them now they'd just be bitter about their father never seeing them, tell them I died, or something, but please don't tell them the truth."

"John…"

"Cheryl, I mean it, this is the end, I won't be back…Neither one of us will be…enjoy your life, give them both a hug and a kiss for me…and tell them I love them and that I thought of them every day."

"I will," she whispered.

Together John and Rodney made their way back to the jeep. John looked at Rodney and smiled sadly.

"That hurt as much as it looked like it did?" Rodney asked.

"More…but it's gotta be done, I wasn't kidding, I'm not coming back…"

"Yeah…I doubt I am either…I don't belong here anymore…" replied Rodney.

They arrived at Jeannie's house a day later, Rodney pulled the jeep into the driveway and smiled, Jeannie sat outside on the porch, watching a young girl of about twelve play ball with her father.

"I've like to do that one day," Rodney said grinning.

"Play with your daughter? Don't worry Rod, we will."

"Shall we?" Rodney said shyly.

"Lets."

Rodney stepped out of the car, Jeannie looked up and gasped, "Rodney!" she cried she hurried off the porch.

John watched as Rodney's smiled broke into a wide grin and he scooped up his older sister into his arms, hugging her tightly.

"I saw the tape…" she whimpered into his shoulder.

"Jeannie…I'm so sorry, but I'm glad you were able to get out…"

"I'm glad you found a home…is this John?"

"This is John, my…our brother," he said grinning.

John reached out and shook Jeannie's hand, he smiled as Jeannie's husband approached them, carrying the twelve year old girl, "Rodney, John, this is my husband Michael, Mike these are my brothers John and Rodney. And this little chickadee is Katie, Kate this is your Uncle Rodney and John."

"Hi!" Katie said reaching out for her Uncle. John grinned as Rodney easily took the girl into his arms and hugged her.

"Hi there."

"We've got an older daughter, Dana, she'll be visiting tonight, if you guys would like to stay for dinner."

"Oh, I think we can do that," John said grinning as he clapped his brother on the shoulder.

> > > >

Rodney sat in the briefing room, staring at the loads and loads offiles in front of him, Elizabeth walked in with another cup of coffee, handing him one.

"Elizabeth…why do I need to pick people for this job?" he questioned.

"Rodney, you certainly know the answer to that," she said grinning.

He was surrounded by three other scientists, as well as Sam Carter and Daniel Jackson, "well of course I know…but there's nothing wrong with the ones I have….except Kavanagh," he pointed.

She grinned, "I knew I forgot something," she said chuckling.

"What?" Daniel asked.

"I meant to tell Teyla to bind and gag him…throw him on that planet with the dinosaurs," she said eyeing Rodney, who laugh out right.

"We'll do it as soon as we get home…" he paused, realizing what he said.

"It's okay Rodney…" Elizabeth replied.

"How about this one, Physicist, highest marks at Havard…"

"No…we've got five physicists already, we need less of them, and more Biologists, chemists, mathematicians…"

"Botanist," pointed Elizabeth.

"And one very young Archeologist," Rodney said softly.

"Did you go and see the Gauls?" Elizabeth's question wasn't an unexpected one.

"Yeah…they actually hugged me…thanked me for…" he shrugged taking another sip of coffee.

"I wish we could have given them more," whispered Elizabeth

"I don't…" whispered Rodney.

Sam eyed the scientist in annoyance, but remained silent, "wasn't much to send home…not even to Atlantis…they wouldn't have recognized him anyway," Elizabeth said agreeing.

"They asked me if he was in pain before he died…"

"What did you say?"

"I…I told them he died with honor and that even if he was in pain he didn't show it…"

"That was very nice Rodney," Elizabeth whispered smiling at him gently.

"So…John's at Aiden's?"

"Seeing his cousin, and Carson will be home tonight…" she said smiling.

"I hope Zelenka is doing okay…."

"I'm fairly sure he can handle the science team…"

"Oh so am I…I'm just not sure he can completely handle Kavanagh."

"Oooh, this Peter McDonavan sounds…qualified…" Daniel said handing the paper.

"No," Rodney said taking one look at the paper.

"Why?" Sam asked as she looked over the sheet as well.

"Second paragraph, he misspelled physics," stated Rodney.

"How do you…oh wow," Daniel said eyeing it curiously.

Elizabeth chuckled softly as she stood and sat back down in the chair, she continued to look through the papers, "hey Rod, how about this one, her name is Kate Brown, she's a Botanist, top of her class at Yale, Harvard, worked with NASA for five years on Chemistry too…has studied genetic therapy…and it sounds like she can probably handle working with you," Elizabeth said grinning.

Rodney took the file from her and nodded, "sounds good…" it was the first one he had okayed so far. Sam was getting annoyed with his constant turning everyone down. "Contact her…" he said smiling.

"Franklin Wilson sounds good too…" Daniel handed him the file and watched what Rodney said.

"Elizabeth, I think I found your next Peter Grodin," Rodney said grinning.

"Really," she moved over closer to his side and read the file along with him.

"What do you think?" she questioned.

"I think I'd like to have Zelenka's input, but I definitely think he's a taker."

TBC


	17. Intruding on One's Mind

Author's Note: Hey! We're in Season 2 and some of you are even still with me! I'm currently at college, about to have a girls night, but until then thought you might like an update, probably the only one this week, at least until Saturday for sure. For those of you who are sticking around thank you, and I promise that the McWeir and Sheyla will be winding down to a min soon.

Chapter Seventeen: Intruding On One's Mind

"What-what are you doing?" Rodney asked suddenly as he watched his brother begin to flip the switches to the F-302.

"It's the last F-302, Rodney – the one we left behind, and it's driving us," explained John as he quickly buckled up.

"Yeah, but we can't go after it. We have no computer system navigation…" Rodney replied.

"We don't need a navigational computer to fly this thing. Besides, we're not going far."

Rodney just stared at his brother, had he gone crazy, had all the brass suddenly gone to his head. But he didn't hesitate he grabbed his own straps and began to buckle up, the bile rising in his throat.

"Engine Room, this Sheppard. Prepare to initiate another shutdown on my command."

"John, what are you doing?" Questioned Elizabeth.

"Getting rid of the last place the virus can hide," replied John.

"Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait. I'm nearly done," Rodney gasped as he tried to jam his stupid straps together. But John didn't wait for Rodney to finish strapping in, he started to taxi the F-302 to the bay doors.

"You'd better make this quick, Sheppard – radiation levels are beginning to rise in the outer hull," Caldwell spoke over the comlink.

"Understood," replied John.

The F-302 launched, and looped over the top of the ship to head for the other F-302 behind the ship. However, the virus-infested F-302 had already anticipated John's arrival and has flown to the side of the ship. As John's glider passed, the virus ship swung over the top of Daedalus and fell in behind John. Rodney jumped when something began to beep.

"What was that beeping?" he asked frantically.

"Somebody just locked onto us. Hold on."

He threw his ship into a roll. The virus ship rolled in an attempt to stay with it. John tried several rolls, unable to shake the second ship, he cursed under his breath.

"Uh! What happened to the inertial dampeners?" Rodney's voice was shaky.

"At these speeds, you're gonna feel the tight turns even with the dampeners," John said quickly, praying that Rodney wouldn't throw up.

"Uh! Now he tells me!" cried Rodney.

"Hold on – we're just gonna tap on the brakes here." John said grinning; he pulled the lever to his right back, suddenly the two shot forward in their seats as the F-302 shot back, rapidly. The virus ship flashed past them. John heard his brother gulp as he tried not to puke.

"You okay back there?"

"Nope…not really," he mumbled through a huffed breath.

"He's making a break for the coronasphere!" John called.

"Would it be good to mention that we have less protection in this ship than we did on the Daedalus?" Rodney spoke suddenly.

"Not really."

"I didn't think so," mumbled Rodney, "Is it just me, or is it getting a little hot in here?" he asked as they moved towards the star, "The thing is, I have very fair skin. I tend to burn easily…" he continued.

"Just a few more seconds," he watched as his screen faded in and then out, seconds later he was able to catch it with his target, and shot the two weapons at him, "Daedalus, this is Sheppard. Target is destroyed. I repeat, target is destroyed. If you try one more shutdown, I think it might just work," John called grinning.

"Roger that. Sheppard out. You did great back there, Rodney. Wanna take the stick?" John said leaning back to his brother

"Really!" Rodney asked hopefully.

"No."

"I hate you," mumbled Rodney as he sat back.

"Rod…are you all right?"

"No…I think I'm really going to throw up," he whispered.

John quickly handed one of the sick bags each of these had to his brother. He gulped himself when he heard Rodney puking into the bag. "Told you not to eat anything," he joked.

"I'm dying," murmured Rodney.

"Hardly, you'll be fine."

"How do you know…"

"Because you're Rodney McKay and you won't die," joked John.

He was interrupted by the sound of Rodney puking his guts out again into the bag. Nearly an hour later John gently parked the F-302 in the flying bay and opened the hatch and watched as Rodney clamored out of the jet and puked yet again, "Carson, this is Sheppard, I could use you down here when you get a moment," he spoke into his com.

"I'll be right there lad."

"No wonder you never went to the moon," joked Sheppard, but only got a glare from his younger brother.

"Sorry buddy."

"What's wrong Colonel?" Beckett asked as he hurried to their side.

"He's been throwing up off and on for the past hour…"

"I think ya probably just threw him for a whirl," joked Beckett, gaining himself a grimace and cold stare as well. "You'll be fine, but let's get you up the infirmary deck just in case."


	18. Running From the Pain

Chapter Eighteen: Running from the Pain

"Hello," he whispered grimacing as he stared at this strange man. Where was his brother, why hadn't he come to help his brother? Where was Teyla…what had happened to Ford?

Slashing out the man cut the rope that held Rodney. Rodney let out a high pitched scream and dropped to the ground, darkness surrounding him as he slammed his head and neck.

Sheppard came back towards Ronan, "help me get him back to the jumper," Sheppard spoke as he lifted his brother off the ground. Ronan nodded and helped lift the annoying man from the ground.

"He is annoying," Ronan stated simply as they dragged him to the jumper.

Carson was already in the jumper when they arrived, he took one look at the collapsed scientist and cursed, "what happened?" he gently took the man from their hands and put him on the ground.

"He was screaming…I found him hanging upside down…"

"Oh Rodney," Carson reached out and unzipped the suit, he grimaced, Rodney was soaked with sweat.

"That's just gross," muttered John.

"Did you cut him down?" Carson questioned.

"Ah…no I figured he was fine and went after Ford."

"I did," spoke Ronan.

"Did you catch him when he fell?"

"Was I supposed to?"

"Oh bloody hell, and you moved him, he could have spinal damage! You left him hanging!" growled Carson.

"Doc, we've gotta go," called Major Lorne.

"Then go! We've got to get Rodney back to the infirmary."

"What can I do?" John questioned.

"You've done quite enough Major, Teyla come help me," growled Beckett.

Teyla didn't hesitate to join Carson's side as she knelt down by Rodney's side. John led Ronan over to the front pilot seats. "Don't be shy lass, we need to get him out of this suit, help me remove it."

It took ten minutes to strip the suit off the soaked McKay, Carson pinched Rodney's skin on the back of his hand, as suspected the skin slowly sank back to his palm, "he's dehydrated, Rodney, open your eyes lad," he said gently.

Rodney groaned, he felt like he was dying, "Rodney, can ya hear me?"

Rodney didn't reply, his blue eyes fluttered open for a moment then closed again. "What else can I do?" Teyla inquired.

"Check out his ankle, he was hanging by one of them," Carson gently began to feel his way down Rodney's spine, thanking God when he didn't feel any serious injuries.

"One feels very swollen Carson," Teyla said looking down at his right ankle.

"Aye, probably a sprain, get me the med kit please lass, there should be an IV in there."

"Here Carson," she handed the kit over to him.

It took five more minutes to find a vein and get the IV in ad running. Carson was pushing the IV, making sure he could re-hydrate his body. Teyla was taking his blood pressure, and looked at him seriously.

"He's lucky he's still alive…he's already starting to run a fever, we need to cool him off, he's going into shock!"

"We're almost there Carson!" called John.

"We'd better be!" Carson watched as Rodney's breathing became more shallow and rapid, "hold in there buddy."

Elizabeth Weir walked into the infirmary which she could only describe as a disaster zone, paper, packages, bandages and blankets were thrown all over the floor around Rodney's bed, where Carson was still working on the scientist.

"Carson?" she questioned.

"Now's not a really good time, could you call back…when I'm not saving someone's life!" he growled.

"Carson…" Teyla spoke from his side.

Carson turned and looked to see Elizabeth standing there, "sorry lass, we're almost done here, we've got most of his vitals back to normal, we're trying to bring his temperatures down, he's at 104.2, he's already had one seizure," murmured Carson.

"What happened Carson?" Elizabeth asked making sure to remain out of their way.

"I don't know, John and his friend Ronan brought Rodney into the jumper unconscious. He hasn't woken up since…"

"So maybe I should go speak to him?" Elizabeth inquired.

"We heard Rodney screaming, John said he found Ford staring Rodney down. John didn't cut Rodney down, assuming he was fine and hurried after Ford. Ronan was the one to cut him down."

"My God, is he going to be okay?"

"Aye, eventually, has one hell of a concussion, a sprained neck, ankle, a bruise rib, a sprained back muscle, he probably will be complaining up a storm once he actually feels up to complaining."

"What's bothering you other than that Carson?"

"That his own brother left him there, you know damn well if it had been you, me, Teyla, hell anyone but Rodney, John would have cut him down in an instant."

"I'll speak with him."

"Aye," whispered Carson as he gently packed the ice packs around Rodney's body and on the bruised parts of his legs, back and shoulders.

"You are angry?" Teyla questioned.

"It was his brother….I would expect such things from anyone else, even Ford, but not John. John talks about how close he and Rodney are, but lately, it hasn't been the same."

"They truly have not been the same since the Wraith attacked," Teyla agreed.

"It was the way John said goodbye, I believe that had a lot to do with it."

"They are brothers, they will help one another."

"Aye I know, but I can't help but wonder what will happen to Rodney before the two finally stop treating each other like this."

"Rodney shot Aiden…"Teyla said simply.

"Aye, so I've heard…"

"He has never injured anyone, perhaps a Wraith, but never a human and never a friend."

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it I suppose."

"He will sleep for many hours?"

"Aye, at least twelve or so, he's going to be exhausted, he needs the rest, and I'm monitoring his concussion. I'll wake him up every half hour, why don't you go get some rest lass."

"I shall, thank you Carson."

> > > > > >

"Car…" came the soft whimper from his side. Carson instantly popped is eyes open and stood up, looking at his friend.

"Rodney, how do you feel?"

"Wat…er," he rasped. Nodding Carson moved over to pour a cup, placing a straw in the cup he gently helped Rodney sip it slowly.

"You okay?"

"Headache…I feel like I…fell outta a tree," he mumbled.

"You did, but you're awake and that is certainly a step in the right direction."

"Ford…where's Ford?" he questioned suddenly.

"We didn't get him Rodney, I'm sorry."

"I shot him Carson…I never shot anyone…" Rodney said in an almost panicked voice, Carson nodded, and gently squeezed his friend's shoulders.

"Aye, I know lad…"

> > > >

"Anyone home?" John called as he gently peeked into the infirmary several hours later.

"Are you okay?" Rodney inquired.

"Yeah…I'll survive, how are you?"

"Seem to be in one piece…"

"No thanks to that bloody suit, ya nearly killed your self Rodney. There is such thing as extreme. And you, what happened to not leaving your people behind. I hate to break it to ya Colonel, but Rodney is more one of your people now than Aiden. I'm not saying ye should have left Aiden behind, but ye should have at least taken care of Rodney first," Carson spoke firmly to the brothers, his closest friends.

"I know…I'm sorry Rodney…"

"Too tired to care," mumbled Rodney.

"Get some sleep lad."

"Doc…can I sit with him?"

"Aye, but don't bother him, and give him as much water as he wants and needs slowly."

"Okay…thanks Carson."

"Don't thank me, thank your brother for havin' a mighty hard head."


	19. Duet of a Different Kind

Chapter Nineteen: A Duet of a Different Kind

It was going to a bad day, at least that's what was running through Rodney McKay's mind as he got out of bed today, not realizing that his best friend Doctor Carson Beckett was thinking the very same thing. Today they were going off world for the second time since the Wraith attack, and due to a request put in by Elizabeth, Carson was going along for the ride. She felt that all her Senior personnel as well as their second in commands should have experience off world just in case.

"Okay everyone, we're going to split up, Lieutenant Cadman, you take our favorite doctors here, Teyla you're with Loren and Donahugh. The rest of you are with me.

"But…" Rodney began.

"No Rodney, you're with Cadman," John said grinning at his younger brother. Rodney felt anger rising, she had just arrived on the Daedalus, how did he know if she was trust worthy.

Sighing; he, Carson and Lieutenant Laura Cadman headed west. They walked in silence for most of the time, until John finally called it. "Alright, I'm about ready to call this one. Doesn't look like there are any survivors," he spoke over his radio.

"The cullings are getting more and more intense," replied Teyla through her radio.

"Well, you said it yourself: too many Wraith woke up at the same time. Too many mouths to feed -- or ... hands to feed."

"Well, we're headin' back to the Gate -- meet you there?" came Major Lorne's suggestion.

"Sounds like a plan. McKay, Beckett: you havin' any luck?" Sheppard called.

They were walking through wildflowers, and Rodney was getting fed up and annoyed, "Negative, Colonel, we haven't found anyone," Beckett replied firmly.

"Make your way back to the Gate," it was a friendly order.

"Will do. Beckett out."

Cadman grinned as she bent down and swiped a few of the wildflowers from the ground, "so, maybe you should pick some wildflowers from around here, she'd really get a kick outta that."

"What on earth are you talking about?" Rodney shot back.

"You've got a date tomorrow with Doctor Katie Brown…right? Well she's a botanist, she never gets off world so…"

"What's this now?" Carson said suddenly.

Rodney instantly rolled his eyes, knowing what would ensue, "it's nothing, nothing at all," he replied quickly.

"You have a date, Rodney? With a woman?" joked Carson grinning from ear to ear.

"It is simply two adults sharing some friendly ... yes, with a woman!" He growled appalled that his friend would even make such a comment.

He felt his anger boil as Carson and Cadman giggled at his reaction.

"Well, she's excited about it. Not sure why, though," Cadman returned.

"How would you know?" McKay grumbled.

"Girls' poker night. I know a lot of things, McKay." She replied.

"I'm sure it's none of your business. This is an inappropriate field conversation," Rodney began to defend himself.

"What? I was just suggesting you might wanna pick some flowers ..." she stopped suddenly, hearing the buzzing coming from somewhere

"Yes, and maybe you should just do your job, which is to protect us…." Rodney continued.

"Shut up," Rodney didn't notice her voice had become serious, but Carson did, watching as she looked around for wherever the sound was coming from.

"Shut up? Let me tell you something ..."

"Stop speaking!" Laura growled at him, finally cutting off his words

"Dart," she whispered, she hit her radio, "We have a Dart incoming!" She looked at the two doctors, realizing they weren't moving, "MOVE IT!" she growled at them harsher than intended

"Seeing us will blow Atlantis' cover. Anyone get a clear shot, you take it, understand?" Sheppard replied over the radio.

The dart swooped down towards Carson, Cadman and Rodney, "Scatter!" Cadman yelled as she shoved Carson to the ground, she reached out for McKay, "MCKAY!" she cried as she tried to push him out of the way, they were both out of time, seconds later the dart swept them up in the beam.

Carson stared in disbelief at the empty space, he had to tell John…John…Rodney. "Crap," he mumbled

Meanwhile by the Stargate, John ran up the steps leading to the now activated wormhole, his P-90 ready to shoot.

"It is heading towards the Gate. We damaged it but it is still on its way!" called Teyla from her position.

"Wait -- McKay and Cadman have been beamed aboard that Dart!" cried Carson as he ran across the field towards Sheppard.

"We can't risk the Dart making it back to the hive ship." Yelled John, setting his face in frustration, he opened fire, hitting the dart, he watched it veer off course, right towards Carson.

"Oh crap!" he screamed as he began to run in the opposite direction, Carson dove to the ground, narrowly being missed by the dart. John watched from afar as it went down, not realizing he was holding his breath, waiting for the crash.

Carson sat up gingerly, testing all his body parts, and then his eyes fell on the crash sight, there was nothing left practically, just the front half of the ship, no McKay, no Cadman. Standing up he slowly made his way towards the dart.

Gun raised he aimed it…however it was quickly obvious the Wraith was dying, compassion struck Carson, he didn't care what anyone said, he was a doctor first before and above all else, and while it seemed ridiculous, he also realized this creature was the only who could possibly save McKay and Cadman, he couldn't let him die, "I'm a doctor…I can help you…"

The Wraith reached out to touch the control panel, suddenly, a hail of bullets is fired into the cockpit. Carson ducked as John walked up from behind him, firing a second burst of bullets to making sure that the Wraith is dead.

"What the hell d'you think you're doing? " yelled Beckett, all the air in his chest gone as he thought of the possibility of never getting McKay or Cadman back.

"It was reaching for the self-destruct!" growled Sheppard in return.

"He's the only one that can get Cadman and McKay out!"

"I seriously doubt he'd oblige." Sheppard replied skeptically.

"Well, we'll never know now, will we?"

"Is everyone alright?" Teyla asked as she came hurrying towards them, she looked at the Wraith dart, and felt a small smile tug at her lips.

"We'll be fine, Hanson, radio Atlantis, we need Zelenka here ASAP…we've got a little problem." He whispered as he looked at the dart. He turned to see Carson walked away in a huff, and John knew he had to go after the man.

"Carson…"

"What is your problem?" It was the clearest and yet the most confusing thing Carson had ever said.

"Excuse me?"

"All you ever do lately is ridicule him, knock him down when he's just about ready to get back up. First with leaving him hanging by the rope and then this, over and over again you keep destroying him. Well congratulations Colonel, you've destroyed him for real this time!"

"Wait a damn minute Doctor, we don't know anything about the creatures, for all we know McKay and Cadman could both still be very much alive. We're not going to just give up on them now! Incase you've forgotten Carson he may be your best friend, but he's my brother!" growled John; the minute it left his mouth he regretted the words.

"Aye…but right now I seem to be the only one who cares about him. He's the same man he was last year John…you're the one who's changed. Does rank suddenly mean so much that you suddenly don't seem to care? He's just some doctor, well he's saved your ass a million times Colonel, remember that the next time ya'have a bug stuck to your neck or the next time your about to be sucked by some type of energy cloud! Because you don't exactly have him anymore to do all that!"

"I'm quite capable of saving my own ass thank you doctor!"

"Aye maybe, but you've landed in my infirmary plenty of times without him! If you think you can survive good luck, but for as often as you degrade him, and look at him weird, you just remember that Rodney is your brother and cares for endlessly, unlike you, he won't change."

"Look doc, I'm sorry okay…"

"Wee bit late for that now isn't it! You may have just killed your only living family you have left, and let me make this crystal clear, if he dies, so does this friendship!"

It was harsh, and un-Carson like, but John could tell that Carson blamed him for everything that had been happening to Rodney lately. John sighed, and realized he blamed him self for everything Rodney had been through lately.

Radek Zelenka arrived twenty minutes later, it didn't take long for him and Carson to get engrossed in figuring out how to get Rodney out of the dart…if it was possible, "Colonel!" Zelenka suddenly called as John stepped nearly the back of the cockpit, sparks flew from the interface, causing Radek to jump, grappling at Carson in fear as he looked around wildly to see where the sparks came from.

"First time offworld?" John asked as he tried not to grin.

"Yes."

"Well, if there were any more Wraith, they would have attacked us by now," explained Sheppard.

"Really?" Zelenka didn't sound like very convinced.

"If it makes you feel better. Did you find what we want?" Sheppard inquired.

"Uh…well, yes, but it's very complex. This interface controls the machine that dematerializes people, stores their information and then rematerializes them again when commanded to…"

"Great. Command it to!" Sheppard replied arrogantly.

"Uh, I can't…" Zelenka said, a little sadness and frustration in his voice.

"From what we can tell, the materializer is storing two life-signs," Carson jumped in.

"Which is good!" Sheppard said grinning.

"Yes, but there is only enough power in the Dart's energy cell to successfully rematerialize one of them. Power to the rematerializer has been completely severed and emergency back-up power has been completely run down," Zelenka tried to explain as he showed John the computer images.

"Okay…" John didn't get it…in fact it was as if Rodney was explaining it himself.

"You have to decide which one we're going to beam out."

"It's a terrible choice to have to make," Carson whispered.

"It's easy. Beam out McKay -- he'll figure it out how to get Cadman free…" that wasn't the only reason to beam out Rodney, but for John it was obviously the most logical, he knew he couldn't give the real reason he wanted Rodney out.

"No, no, no, sorry -- I was unclear," Zelenka said waving his free hand.

"There's no way of telling which is which," explained Carson as he eyed the Colonel.

"Yes. They just read as life-signs," Zelenka filled in.

"Perfect! Alright -- that one." He pointed to the closest one, hoping desperately it would be Rodney. "Go," he said as though Zelenka really needed an okay. "Stand aside!" he called to everyone else.

A beam shot out from the back of the dart, Rodney suddenly appeared. He looked around blankly for a moment, his eyes landing on his brother.

"Rodney, you Okay?" John asked, almost afraid of the answer.

"Mmm." He tried, suddenly his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he collapsed to the ground. Beckett and John ran over to his side.

"His pulse is stable but I need to get him back to Atlantis," Carson said looking at his brother.

"Teyla, Lorne, help the Doc head back to the city with McKay. We're gonna stay here with Zelenka -- try to bring as much of the Dart back as possible…" John order, then he looked down at his brother, "Carson…"

"Don't worry lad, he'll be fine, I promise," Carson said gently.

"Right…"he looked down at his brother again, squeezed McKay's hand then moved so the others could help lift Rodney off the ground.

Rodney was lying unconscious on a bed with wires attached to his head. A light screen was passing back and forth behind him and over his head. Carson stood by his side, looking at Elizabeth and smiled weakly, "how is he Carson?" she asked meekly.

"All of his vitals are stable. His body's reacting like it's been struck by a Wraith stunner," Carson explained watching both the patient, the vitals and Elizabeth.

"So you think once the initial shock is over, we'll have the old McKay back?" she asked hopefully.

"I'm afraid so," he joked softly, patting his friend's shoulder, "Have they had any luck with the wreckage?"

"No. Lieutenant Cadman is still in there somewhere. Did you know her well?"

"No, not really. She was with the new batch that came aboard the Daedalus. She seemed quite lovely, though. She saved my life…"

"Well, you'll be the first person I call when we find her."

"Thank you….you'll be the first to know when Rodney wakes up," he said smiling lightly.

"Thank you Carson."

John had only been by once since they had brought Rodney in and took the scans. Carson had reported the same thing, that Rodney was stable. John didn't stay long, finding some excuse to leave before Carson could even apologize for some of the things he had said. Carson stood by, checking another patient's vitals when he heard Rodney groan from the next bed.

"Hello," he mumbled.

Carson hurried over to his side and smiled softly, "how're ya feelin' lad?"

"Um…terrible, what happened?"

"You were scooped by by a dart…"

"Oh, great! How'd I get out…"

"It's a long story, but I'm glad to see your doing well," replied Beckett.

_"Hello? Dr. Beckett? _

"Is that Cadman?" Rodney asked looking around for her.

_"Dr. McKay?"_

"Where is she?" Rodney asked, concern filling his voice.

_"I'm right here!"_

"Lieutenant Cadman is still trapped in the dart Rodney," Carson said…suddenly confused as to what was going on.

_"WHAT?"_

"Who said that?" Rodney begged looking around.

"I did," replied Beckett.

"You said "what?"?" Rodney said confused.

"I said Lieutenant Cadman is still trapped inside the dart," Beckett repeated.

"No…no, did you just said the work…"what?"?" he rephrased, becoming very confused himself.

"No…I didn't…" Beckett replied looking around for someone to help him.

_"MCKAY!" The voice screamed suddenly._

"Yes…where are you?" Rodney asked.

"I'm right here," Beckett replied.

"No..no, I'm talking to Cadman—shut up for a second."

"She's not here Rodney…"

_"Yes I am!" Cadman returned_.

"You didn't just hear that…you didn't just hear Cadman say that?"

"No…I didn't," Carson said shaking his head.

"Headse…" he touched his ears…suddenly realizing he wasn't wearing a pair of head phones his eyes grew wide, "I'm not wearing a headset!"

_"McKay…where are you?"_

"I'm in front of Carson…"

_"Oh no…uh, put your hands over your eyes…"_

"Why?" Rodney asked her voice skeptically.

_"Just do it!" she bit._

"Lieutenant Cadman is still trapped in the Dart…I think maybe your experience…" he watched as Rodney put his hands over his eyes and peeked through his fingers like a small child, "Rodney, what_ are_ you doing?"

_"Oh, this is terrible."_

"What's terrible?" questioned Rodney.

_"I can see that! I can see your hands over your eyes as though they were _my _eyes!"_

Carson looked at Rodney take his hands down, still completely confused but what the doctor was doing.

"Carson—hi…"

"Hullo," he whispered in a grimace.

"Who go us out of the dart?" Rodney questioned.

"Zelenka…but he only go you out. Lieutenant Cadman is still trapped inside the dart," Carson repeated for what was probably the tenth time.

"No…no, no, no, no, no…"

_"This cannot be happening…" Cadman whispered._

"Cadman's not trapped in the Dart," Rodney finally said.

"Excuse me?" Beckett said really lot and confused at this point.

"She's in here," Rodney replied tapping his head.

Rodney convinced Carson to let him out nearly fifteen minutes later and headed down to the gate room, where they had the Dart sitting. He had one of the man transformer bits in his hand, his face livid with anger. Elizabeth, Rodney and Carson were at his side, as well as Zelenka.

"Oh, nice work!" Rodney said sarcastically.

"We were running out of power. I knew hardly anything about the machine. Who would have thought this could be one of the side effects?" Zelenka replied.

"So -- instead of waiting to _understand_ what it was you were doing, you just sort of mashed on the keyboard hoping something would happen!"

"Well, you're alive, aren't you?" Came Zelenka's come back.

_"Ask him if he knows how to fix it!" Cadman poked._

"He doesn't know how to fix it!" growled Rodney.

"What?" Zelenka questioned as he eyed Carson, John and Weir, they were obviously just as confused and lost as he was.

"I'm talking to her!" Rodney bit pointing t his head.

"You can hear her thoughts?" Elizabeth was in awe at the thought.

"No, not her thoughts…Thank God! I can hear when she's speaking…or trying to speak."

"Are you sure he should have been discaharged?" She asked leaning over to Carson.

"According to the M.R.I….he's as healthy as he ever was," Carson explained.

_"Sure doesn't feel that healthy in here!" retorted Cadman._

"Well we can't all be track stars now can we!" He realized everyone was staring at him and suddenly pointed to his head again, "It was here again."

"Maybe there's something wrong an M.R.I wouldn't pick up…if you know what I mean," he was only half joking. Carson tried to repress the smile.

"I'm not crazy! I just have another consciousness in my brain!" growled Rodney, hurt by his brother's accusation.

_"Oh my god!" _

"WHAT?" Rodney growled.

_"He's…you're his…oh wow!"_

"Cadman…" Rodney began.

_"Holy crap! That is soo weird! How many other people know about this?"_

"About five…"

"What just happened?" Weir asked.

"He sure looks crazy," John said to Carson.

"I'm sure I do! But only because Doctor Fumbles McStupid over here, was way in over his head!" Rodney yelled ignoring Elizabeth's question and pointing to Radek.

"Yes, yes, _I_ made a mistake trying to save _your_ life. Now, d'you want to try to fix it, or do you want to continue to berate me somewhat?"

"I'm perfectly capable of doing both at the same time. Now -- I assume you've tried to run one of our own generators on it?" Rodney returned.

"It's not as simple as that ..." Zelenka started.

_"Why not?" _

"... The trick is having it interface with the Wraith machine in real time. The power fluctuations are, are, are huge. Er, if we overshoot just a little ..."

_"Wait, wait, what does that mean?"_

"... we're screwed up."

"Yeah, yeah. Um, I'm sure if we can maybe run an interface program that will take care of all the ..." Rodney tried desperately to concentrate

_"Hullooo? Rodney? Will you please answer me?"_

"Uh, here's what I want us to try."  
_  
"Rodney!" Cadman called._

"We'll take a, uh, naqahdah generator ..."

_"Ro-o-o-odney!"_

"... and, um ..."

_"Rodney. Rodney!"_

"... and, uh ..."

_"Rodney! RODNEY!" she screamed_

"YES! WHAT!" He finally screamed furiously.

_"Stop ignoring me!" she said in a kinder voice._

"Well, stop asking stupid questions!"

"Rodney ..." Beckett's voice came quietly, Rodney didn't even catch it.

"I will get you out of here, Okay? Now just be a good little girlie and keep quiet." He said rudely.

_"Don't you _dare_ condescend me! This is as much my problem as it is yours!" she growled at him._

"And do you have a degree in physics, hmm? Well what about mechanical engineering, huh?"

"Rodney?" Elizabeth spoke.

"YES?" He screamed, and looked down at the floor realizing it had been Elizabeth and not Laura. "Sorry…I'm sorry, what please?"

"Why don't we let Zelenka handle this?" Elizabeth suggested.

"I'm fine," Rodney lied.

"No, you're not," John finally spoke, he didn't miss the hurt that flared through Rodney's ocean colored eyes.

_"Oh what, like you've never heard him tell you how annoying you are!" Cadman laughed slightly._

"As a matter of fact…"

"Rodney," Elizabeth whispered.

"I'd me more useful…"

"I'd like you to see Doctor Heightmeyer…"

"I'm fine," he replied casually.

"Rodney, I'm not asking you," Elizabeth's statement was simple and almost painfully caring.

_"Oh wow…you've got a lot of problems! Wait a minute why are you going out with Katie if you have the hots for Weir?"_

"Just leave me alone!" he yelled as he walked away from the people who claimed to be his friends.

"Well…that went well," muttered John, getting glares from Zelenka, Beckett and Weir.

"You're not helping," Elizabeth finally stated eying him.

"What?" John asked as Elizabeth and Carson walked away, "what did I say?" He questioned obliviously.

> > > > >

"How do you feel you're qualified to help us with this problem?" Rodney questioned.

"I'm not, who could be Rodney? It's not like they covered this in medical school, split personalities, but not two physical personalities in one person's mind. But I have spent some time as a couples therapist…" Kate Heightmeyer said gently as she sat in her office across from Rodney.

_"We are not a couple!" Cadman said in disgust._

"In any sense of the definition—not a couple." Rodney finished.

"In physics a "couple" is defined as a pair of forces equal in magnitude acting in opposite directions." Kate explained eyeing her favorite scientist.

"Hmmm…" Rodney said softly

"So don't you feel that applies here?"

"Yeah, that's very clever, but we're not equal forces…"

_"Watch it!"_

"And by that I mean she's just a voice in my head, I have control of the body." Rodney finished his statement.

_"I've seen your body McKay, you can keep it."_

"How do you know that? She's been able to access the part of your brain that creates speech and controls hearing, why not movement," Heightmeyer pointed out.

"Well if she could have, she would have by now."

"Maybe you need to release control."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because like it or not, you're sharing that body. The roles could have easily been reversed, Rodney, you could be trapped in her body. And wouldn't you like the chance to say, talk to others without having to go through her."

_"YEAH!" Cadman said confidently._

"Maybe…"

_"Maybe?"_

"Okay, yes, I would want that…"

"So let her," Heightmeyer finished.

Rodney walked away from the hanger grudgingly, when had Zelenka grown balls…when had he suddenly become so brave.

_"Do you treat everyone like an asshole?"_

"Leave me alone," he mumbled.

_"Seriously, you're pissed because Zelenka did the very same thing you would have done, if it had been him. You get angry at everyone else for your mistakes! Did you ever think about taking credit for your screws ups even once?"_

"SHUT UP!" he yelled, suddenly reddened when he realized those around were now staring.

_"You're so arrogant, no wonder you don't have any friends."_

That hurt, not matter how much Rodney wanted to pretend it didn't, for the first time in a long time he had really started feeling like he didn't have any friends. But that wasn't true, Elizabeth was his friend…Carson was his friend…

"Rod…" came the voice from around the corner, Rodney's eyes shot up and caught a glimpse of his brother. Was John his friend anymore, did John even care anymore.

"What?" Rodney asked in exhaustion.

"I…are you okay?"

"No Colonel, you see I seem to have this other person stuck in my head…"

"Rodney, stop, okay, I didn't come here to yell at you, or accuse you of anything. I came here to check on my brother."

"Oh, now you care!" yelled Rodney.

"Hey! I always cared you stupid little twit, I never stopped giving a damn about you, sometimes I regret that!" John looked around and quickly dropped his voice a decibel lower, "I'm sorry okay, I've screwed up, is that what you want to hear, because I'll admit it."

"It's not even this so much…it's everything."

"Rod, I know I haven't been very fair or even nice to you…lately, Rodney I don't know when our brotherly banter went from safe and friendly to almost cruel, but that is definitely my fault, and I'm sorry okay…You're not crazy, and I'm sorry for hurting you in front of your peers, in front of anyone. You know better than anyone that wasn't my intention."

"Really?"

"No, look Rod…I was the one who gave the order to shoot the dart down…."

"No, it's not your fault, honestly the idea of what had happened if it hadn't been shot down is significantly worse…"

"Yeah…I suppose so, sure got an ear full of Carson though, not sure when he became the other older brother," chuckled John.

"He is might over protective isn't he," Rodney whispered smiling.

"We okay then?"

"No…you're okay, I'll live…"

"Want me to walk you to your room?"

"Oh because that so isn't weird," chuckled Rodney.

"Get some sleep pal, okay?"

"Right sleep…"

_"Cute," muttered Cadman._

For the first time since her voice had started speaking, Rodney chose to ignore her, taking a moment to enjoy the way he felt, knowing that maybe his brother didn't hate him, and that maybe they could patch up whatever the hell was wrong with their relationship.

> > > > >

"I would like an apology," Rodney stated simply.

"Laura," Heightmeyer agreed gently.

_"Forget about it!"_

"You did take over his body without permission," Heightmeyer continued.

_"He doesn't ask permission when _he _takes over!"_

"Because it's _my _body!" he screamed.

_"Yeah—and I'm a guest! Try and be a little more corteous!"_

"You see? You see what I have to put up with?"

_"Put up with?"_

"There's a lot of stuff I'm not doling right now that I _would _be doing!" he screamed.

_"I don't wanna hear about it…"_

"All right you two!" Heightmeyer called.

"You're the one who said 'set up rules'. Well, I did. I-I-I-I followed them -- I stuck to them. She basically hijacked me."

_"Hey, you had a real opportunity to get inside the mind of a woman and actually expand your horizons, but no-o-o-o-o." _

"Did you ever for a second consider that I might not _want_ to get inside a woman's ..." he gasped suddenly his face squinted in pain as a seizure wracked his body.

"RODNEY!" Heightmeyer cried as she jumped up, she gently grabbed his head, lowering him to the body as he slipped out of the chair. She lowered him to the ground as he continued to seize.

"This is Heightmeyer! GET BEKETT IN HERE STATE!" she cried as she hurried back over to his side. She felt tears burning her eyes as she looked at his body. She reached for his neck, feeling for the pulse.

"What happened?" Beckett asked as he hurried into the room.

"Seizure!" she cried.

Beckett knelt down by his friend's side, "oh Rodney," he whispered softly.

Sheppard was at their side halfway to the infirmary, "what happened?" He asked worry filling his voice. Elizabeth joined their sides and looked at their head scientist.

"He suffered a severe seizure…"

"He's going to be okay…right?" John whispered reaching out and gripping his brother's hand.

"I don't know lad, he's had two seizures within days of each other…I'm worried, I'll call ya lad, I promise," Carson said as he stopped them at the door to the infirmary.

"Come on John, Carson will take good care of him," Elizabeth said gently gripping his arm.

"Oh," he mumbled as he slowly opened his eyes; there stood Kate, Carson and Zelenka.

"Rodney," Beckett took a step closer to his fried and smiled lightly, "go contact Major Sheppard, he'll want to know he's awake." Carson order a nurse, she nodded and headed off to do what Carson said.

"What happened?" Rodney asked softly.

"You had a seizure."

"Why…?"

"From what we can tell, the constant fighting over the dominance of your brain is having a deleterious effect on its lower functions: heart rate, respiration, organ function ..."

_"That's not good…" Cadman whispered._

"Of course it's not good!"

"I'm not sure how long you can go on like this."

"What do you mean?"

"These misfires will only increase in frequency and severity over time."

"Well fine, she'll stop trying to take over control of my body."

"It's not as simple as that, Rodney."

"One of you has to release control. One of you has to let go completely," Heightmeyer said gently.

"Ah, well, maybe if someone -- say, _you_ -- hadn't told her to try and take control in the first place, none of this would have happened."

"I was just trying to help _both_ of you."

"What happens to the person -- the one who "lets go"?"

"Well, we're not certain, of course -- we've not often run into these situations before ..." Beckett explained.

_"They would disappear. I know they would, 'cause I can already feel it happening to me. It's getting harder to be in here. It's taking more of an effort._"

"Has it always been like that?" Rodney questioned.

_"Past few hours. You haven't felt it too?" Cadman whispered._

"Well, of _course_ I have -- I just thought I was fighting with you. Look -- where're we at?" Rodney asked Zelenka suddenly.

"Well, we've successfully rematerialized a pair of mice. They were whole and correctly reconstructed ..."

"But?" Rodney interrupted.

"They didn't survive," Zelenka finished.

"I'm afraid if one of you doesn't let go, both of you will die," Carson whispered. Rodney looked at him for a moment, eyeing his best friend.

_"I'll do it," Cadman spoke._

"Which one of you said that?" Beckett asked, fairly sure it had been Cadman.

John rushed into the infirmary suddenly, looking worried about his brother, "Rodney, are you all right?"

"I'm sore…" he whispered as he leaned back against the bed.

"I bet you are, Doc…can I sit with him for awhile?"

"Of course, Rodney, try and get some sleep, both of you should."

"We don't have that much time Carson," Rodney stated.

"Rodney…"

"Spare me okay, I know what's going on," muttered Rodney.

"You're not going to die Rod, I promise," John whispered.

_"Carson," Laura suddenly called sadly._

"What are you doing?" Rodney questioned.

_"I wanna write a letter to my folks. I'd really appreciate it if you'd deliver it yourself the next time you gate back to earth…Rodney, explain what happened…"_

"Well, I'm not sure when I'll…The Gate! We can use the gate!" Rodney said suddenly

"What're you talkin' about?" Carson asked as John stood up as well as they looked at Rodney

"Well, the Gate dematerializes you as you step into it, sending your information to the next Gate so it can be rematerialized on the other side," Rodney began.

_"We know that!" Cadman suddenly spoke._

"So if we can take one of the crystal control modules from the Gate and interface it was the Dart, we should be able to build a safer system," Rodney explained as he threw back the covers to get out of bed, but both John and Carson grabbed them, trying to hold him back.

"Rodney, wait. I don't thinm you're in any condition…"

"I don't have time to talk—I need to get this done before the next seizure!" he bit as he threw the covers off, he stood up, John at his side gripping his arm.

"You could kill yourself doing this," stated John gently.

"Please John," whispered Rodney eyeing his brother.

"Get him a robe, come on now!" John yelled.

"All right, this should do it," Rodney said as he finished putting in the final crystal from the gate.

"Just because it works in a simulation doesn't me…"

"I would prefer not to suffer a fatal seizure while we wait for you to round up more mice protesting. So, shall we?"

_"Rodney…"_

"Don't try to talk me out of this—I may very well listen." Rodney told her softly.

_"I was just gonna say thanks."_

"Well, you're welcome. I can honestly say that the entire experience has been very…um…oh good," Rodney said looking up to see John and Carson lead Elizabeth in.

"Hold on Rod, I thought all the mice died?" John didn't want to see his brother go in into the beam in one piece and reappear a fried Rodney-ball.

"Well, what are we—mice or men?" he said eyeing his brother.

"Are you sure about this?" Elizabeth asked.

"Absolutely…yes," he whispered looking her in the eye.

"Okay," she replied sadly.

"Just…just give me a second," he stepped towards the marked area of the gate room, "well Laura, it's been um…unique."

_"To say the least," she replied lightly.._

"All right, step back," Zelenka called, he began to calibrate the system

Suddenly Rodney held out one finger, _"wait!" Cadman called. She moved Rodney's body, and walked over to Carson. Grabbing the doctor by the lapels of his lab coat she pulled him close and pressed Rodney's lips to his. _

"Okay, I'll never be able to look at your two the same!" John called.

_Cadman finally broke the hold and smiled through Rodney, "Just in case this doesn't work," she said._

"Oh!" Rodney gasped as he jumped back and removed his hands. He covered his eyes as he stumbled back to the target area, "just…just hit it," he whimpered.

Zelenka hit the button, Rodney disappeared in the Wraith beam.

"Okay, it's reading as two life signs," Zelenka began…

"Get him out of there now!" growled John.

Radek nodded and hit the button again, Rodney and Cadman reappeared, frozen. Rodney turned his head to look up at his brother, before they both collapsed unconscious to the ground.

He slowly opened his eyes, everything was blurry, in front of him was Elizabeth and Zelenka sitting in a chair and on a bed. John was also sitting in a chair by Elizabeth, watching Rodney.

"Oh good," whispered John as he stood and approached the bed, Elizabeth and Zelenka right behind him.

"Feelin' better?" Cadman's voice came.

Rodney turned his head to see the next bed was empty and felt dread fill his every being, "oh no," he whispered.

"Over here," came the voice again. Turning to his other side he felt relief flood through his every fiber at the sight of Laura Cadman waving to him while Carson took her pulse.

"Feelin' little less crowded," he said smiling softly, "you?" he questioned as John came towards he head of his bed.

"Same, it's nice to have my own body back," Cadman said grinning.

"You're both doing supremely well," Carson said as Elizabeth came to stand beside him.

"Ah, good to hear….Nice work," Rodney said looking over at Zelenka.

"Well…it was your idea…"

"Well, of course it was…but you were, well you were there."

"Lieutenant way to survive what I think may be my worse nightmare," John joked as he gently patted Rodney's shoulder.

"Thank you sir," she replied chuckling.

"Yeah, thanks," mumbled Rodney.

"I imagine you two might like a moment," Elizabeth said grinning.

"Actually, ma'am, I think I'd like some time alone," Cadman replied.

"Same here…it's um been awhile."

"Release them as soon as you can Carson," Elizabeth said gently patting her friend on his shoulder.

"Aye," Beckett said as he squeezedCadman's hand.

"We should let you get some rest," John said gently as he and Zelenka headed out of the infirmary.

Rodney looked over at Cadman and smiled weakly, "hey," he whispered. Turning his head his face dropped as he tried not to imagine what she could possibly know about him. What all had she found out, aside from the fact the he liked Elizabeth and John was his brother.

"Rod, ya okay?" John asked gently eyeing his brother.

"Huh, sorry," he whispered.

"Are you okay, you've been quiet ever since you woke up…and it's been nearly twelve hours?"

"Guess I'm just trying to get used to the idea of being alone again," he said smiling weakly.

"Hey, you're not alone pal, you never were, you may lack a second consciousness in your mind, but you aren't alone. I'm here."

"Are you? Do you realize all the things she could know?"

"Like what, that you had a shitty childhood? Rodney most people can guess that, that we're brothers, most people won't even care about it. That you like Liz, hell even I know that and I don't need to be inside your brain to guess that."

"Gee thanks," mumbled Rodney.

John sighed and reached out, gripping his brother's hand he smiled gently at him, "we're going to be fine buddy, promise. You're not alone anymore."

"Love ya bro," mumbled Rodney as he closed his eyes again.

"I love you too Rodney," John whispered as he pulled the blanket back over Rodney's shoulders.


	20. McKay's Angel

Author's Note: Thanks to all of you who have stuck by this fic so far, I'm glad to know that I've got some loyal readers out there! Please read and review!

Chapter Twenty: McKay's Angel

Trudging: it could be described as the constant movement of feet, when you felt like you could no longer go on, exhaustion having taken its toll and fear no longer evident because you've trudged through the fear. The character Chaucer from the movie A Knight's Tale, which he had only seen once, had described trudging as such: the slow, weary, depressing yet determined walk of a man who has nothing left in life except the impulse to simply soldier on.

Of course Rodney had never been the social butterfly, nor had he been a big movie person, he had seen many movies and few did he find intriguing enough to continue watching, perhaps the movie Cube, but aside from that he had very few favorite movies. However as he now "trudged" on with his team of three other people, he couldn't help but remember the line from "A Knight's Tale".

However, Rodney had the feeling Chaucer was speaking vaguely of life back in the early times of England, this was very different. Chaucer the character or the true Chaucer could never have imagined such annoying circumstances in which Rodney found himself now.

It was raining, not the light rain that many people enjoyed during summers, but torrential down pour, where each drop hurt as it splattered against the top of ones already dripping wet head. Rodney was beyond dripping wet, he was beyond soggy, he had now reached sopping, cold and cranky. Of course that could have easily described any and all of the three other members of his team. John treaded by Rodney's side, silently, clutching his P-90 at his side, saying not a word. Behind them covering their backs, was Specialist Ronan Dex, which Rodney had grown quite fond of recently, even though the man tended to be a little strange at times. Just in front of them walked Teyla, her light step marred by the obvious chill which had set in to her bones.

Their jackets did no good to them any longer, the biting chill seemed to seep through their skin and chilled them to the very bone. Rodney was fairly sure he would never be warm again.

The world itself was bare, little or no shelter, the ground seemed bare, covered in dirt, rocks and sand. The Pegasus Galaxy's own Death Valley. The clouds hadn't been there when they had arrived on the planet, they headed for the town, within twenty five minutes, John had pretty much decided there was no town, but pushed on anyway, they continued in a straight line for the city. And here they were, two hours later, at least two hours from the gate, soaked from the ran still searching for some town.

A wise man would have stopped by now, a woman would have asked for directions…if there was anyone to ask, and John Sheppard would just keep trudging. Rodney was just waiting for the sand to swallow them up like quicksand, with all the rain that was coming down on them.

Just as Rodney opened his mouth to speak, John pointed ahead, there perhaps a football field away, was a small town, looking just as wet, run down and cold as they felt. It had to be a ghost town of some sort, although Rodney shivered at the thought of what had caused the town to become so ghost like.

"Let's go guys, see if we can't find some type of shelter here," John spoke confidently.

No one responded, they chose to follow their annoying leader. For all the cold, rain and uncomfortable silence, it didn't take long to reach the tiny town. Ronan and John moved to the first building, it was hard, made of wood and looked like a shack, but for them it would be a decent sized shelter until they could reach the gate and get away from the damn chill.

"It's safe, let's go," John said as he and Ronan stepped in, their guns still drawn.

Rodney and Teyla both held their guns out as well, Teyla facing the town, while Rodney swung from side to side.

Amazingly the tiny shack didn't have a single leak. John closed the door behind them. And looked around, hoping to find blankets, or something to light some type of fire. "Rodney, you and Teyla check for other rooms, we'll see if e can't get a fire start," John called as he continued to rummage through an old trunk by one window.

Nodding Rodney held his hand gun out as he and Teyla crept towards the door. Rodney reached out and gently shoved the only other door in the tiny house open. They glanced around the room, then slowly stepped inside. It looked to be a sort of bedroom, a single twin bed lying in the middle of the room, in one corner sat a tiny cradle, wooden and simple looking.

Rodney over looked the pleasantry for a blanket or something that could keep him and his fellow teammates warm. That was until he heard a tiny cry. Rodney instantly began to search around for whatever had made the sudden sound.

"Teyla…did you hear that?" he asked as he moved over towards the cradle. He had over looked it previously, but as he moved closer he realized the blankets were twitching.

"Indeed I did…"

"I think I've found something," he whispered as he stepped closer to the crib. Inside the cradle lay a tiny infant, perhaps no older than two or three weeks. Tiny blue eyes stared up at intently, It's face bright pink, but tears streaming from her beautiful ocean colored orbs.

"I think you found a someone," Teyla whispered slightly as she stepped over to Rodney's side.

"Cute," Rodney replied, for every ounce of him that feared children at times, there was something in him calling to hold this little baby. He reached out, practically unaware of what he was doing. He removed the beautifully crocheted pink blanket. Rodney instantly decided it was probably a girl, based on the blanket and clothing colors. She was probably about six or seven pounds, thin, with long beautiful fingers, and sandy hair covered her small head.

"I think she likes you," Teyla said softly.

"Really?" Rodney asked as he reached out and gently stroked the infant's cheek, bringing out a beautiful coo from the baby.

"Very much, I fear why she was left behind," Teyla said sadly as she continued to look around the perfectly kept house.

"You don't think her parents are still around?"

"No, this place seems to be deserted," Teyla answered.

"Why would they leave such a small child?" Rodney asked afraid, suddenly, of the answer she may give.

"Wraith find little use of such small ones, they are after all, often the weakest of ones tribe."

"Wait, you mean they leave the small ones homeless?" Rodney felt sickened by such an idea.

"It is not unusual Rodney."

"Oh that's so not happening," whispered Rodney. He reached down and lifted the baby from the tiny crib, "can you move the blanket?"

"Of course, you wish to swaddle her?" she questioned.

"Yeah, that's good, thanks Teyla," Rodney laid the infant back down on the blanket, and within moments rewrapped her up in the pink blankets. Teyla smiled softly as Rodney lifted her back up into his arms and pulled her closer to his chest. This was a side of the way ward scientist she had not seen. She had seen so much from this man, he had deep inner strength, love and compassion when he wished to, and as she watched him, she realized that this was only further true as he held the baby. Like he had been doing it for years.

"You have held a child before?" she inquired.

"Uh…only once, one of my girlfriends…she had a baby…before you ask, no it wasn't mine. But he husband dumped her, and Katie asked for me to be there for her when the baby was born. I held Katie's little angel for probably about three hours until Katie felt up to it."

"And what of the baby?" Teyla asked.

"I'm her god-father…she's probably fifteen or sixteen now, not much use for me anymore….but I am her Uncle Rodney…she was the only little child, or baby that I ever felt comfortable around."

"This one brings back such memories for you?" Teyla asked smiling.

"Yes…"

"I believe she is your angel," Teyla whispered as she gently caressed the girl's head.

"Hey guys the rain stop…" John looked at the tiny child, then at his brother and Teyla, "did I miss something?"

"No Colonel, we found this little child…"

"Any folks?" John asked looking around the room.

"No, I believe the city has been taken by the Wraith…."

"I agree," came Ronan's voice from behind John.

"We should go…before they come back," Teyla spoke gently.

"You really think they would return?" Rodney asked her.

"No, but it would be a good idea none the less, perhaps take this one with us," Teyla said eyeing the baby.

"All right, well let's go before it rains again, Rodney there are a couple more blankets outside in the living room, why don't you wrap them around your precious cargo, and we'll get moving," John suggested.

"Okay," Rodney and his team headed into the living room. John handed the blankets to Rodney, who wrapped another one around the infant's body, which was now clingy to his soaked uniform.

"She could get a cold," he spoke.

"We'll try and get home as soon as we can Rod, let's go guys."

Carson looked at the thermometer pulling it out of her ear gently, she cooed on the cot, opening and closing her fists as she looked up at Rodney and Teyla. John and Ronan were briefing Weir and Caldwell about what had happened.

"Assuming she as normal as you and me, the wee lass seems perfectly healthy," Carson explained smiling as he gently tickled her tummy, causing her to gurgle.

"So it is a girl?"

"Aye, a beautiful wee girl, four weeks old, eight pounds, two ounces, seventeen inches long," Carson read clinically.

"So now what?" Rodney questioned.

"Well…someone has to care for her, she seems to have taking a like for you Rodney."

"Just because she doesn't cry in my arms, doesn't mean I can be a father," Rodney said in fear.

"Aye, but I say you'll probably do fine, until we can find someone to care for the wee one. And the first thin you are in charge of, is naming her. She can't be called it," he said smiling between the two little friends.

"No…that is not sensible…Lauryn Mae…"

"That is a beautiful name," Teyla responded looking down at the tiny child.

"Aye, I like it too, we'll create a birth certificate for her, how do you want to spell it?"

"L-A-U-R-Y-N, and M-A-E for a middle name," Rodney said.

"Lauryn Mae McKay, a beautiful name for a beautiful girl," Carson said as he lifted the girl into his arms. The baby instantly began to whimper and squirm.

"I think she wishes for her caretaker to hold her," grinned Teyla.

"Guys…" Rodney scoffed at the thought, as the baby was placed into his arms. Lauryn must have recognized him, her whimpers slowed back to a normal breathing rate.

"Rodney, would you like to learn how to feed a baby?" Carson asked smiling softly.

"Uh…are you really sure I can handle this?" questioned Rodney looking from them to the baby. Her small fist had grabbed the front of his shirt by this time and was cooing as she moved in his arms.

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life. At least for now," Carson said smiling.

"O…okay," he whispered.

"Come with me then Rodney, we've got a few lessons ahead of us."

Elizabeth, John, Ronan and Colonel Caldwell walked into the infirmary nearly an hour later, expecting to see Carson caring for an infant girl, and Teyla helping. The last thing Rodney expected to see why his little brother sitting in a chair, feet propped up on one of the beds, cradling the little baby in his arms, a bottle in one hand; which was firmly placed in the baby's mouth.

"Oh…my," Elizabeth said as she coughed to cover her smile that spread across her face.

It must have been contagious, because John and Ronan were also smiling at this point. The little girl had nothing on but a cloth diaper, her two fists balled up on either side of the tiny make shift bottle Carson had made. Her big blue eyes intently watching her savior.

"She is so beautiful," Elizabeth whispered as she crossed the room to peer over Rodney's shoulder. He glanced up her and smiled softly, nodding in agreement.

"So…did ya name her yet?" John asked as Carson joined them, Teyla at his side.

"Actually we have," grinned Carson.

"So, don't keep us in suspense, what's the newest addition to Atlantis' name?" John asked grinning widely.

"Lauryn Mae," whispered Rodney.

John's eyes grew wide, if it was possible, his smile only grew wider as her looked down at the beautiful little baby. "She's got the blue eyes," he whispered grinning.

"Who's Lauryn?" Elizabeth asked.

"Our mom," Rodney whispered as he continued to cradle his new found baby.

"Amazing how such a tiny little thing can turn three men into puddles of mush on sight," chuckled Elizabeth as she eyed Rodney, John and Carson. Although, as she looked over at Steven Caldwell, Elizabeth was fairly sure he was turning soft as well.

"Indeed, babies have a similar reaction to the men on Athos as well," Teyla said smiling as she caressed the baby's head.

"So now the real question is, what do we do with her from here?" Steven asked eyeing Rodney and the baby.

Steven had known Rodney for all of about five months, and in that time he had come to the conclusion there was much more to the man than he led on. However, he often didn't show much more than his arrogance.

The only time Steven had ever seen the scientist at ease was with his team, Carson or Elizabeth. He was a man in love with his job, but at this very moment, Rodney never looked more at ease than holding this little baby in his arms. He suddenly looked like he was used to holding babies, as though he had been raised around small children all his life.

Logic told Steven to contact earth, let them know what had developed, perhaps speak about having her placed in an orphanage. But as Steven watched the group of people, he realized that would probably do more harm than good. This little baby, at the moment was an alien, no matter how beautiful she was or how human she seemed. She was not from their planet and it wouldn't be the best idea to send her off to someone who didn't have security clearance, just incase she developed strange…traits.

Everything inside him was screaming 'the baby can't stay here.' Atlantis wasn't exactly made for little babies, of any race, culture or type. Although Steven assumed at some point the ancients had to have been babies. At that moment he looked over at Rodney, a wide smiled covered the man's face, as he looked up at John and Elizabeth. Steven decided he would indeed contact earth and let them know what had transpired, but he would do everything in his power and beyond to keep this child on Atlantis. Besides if anything that small could keep someone like McKay under control and make him less uptight and rude, than she was certainly worth keeping.

"Well, we have to contact earth, like it or not…"

"Sir, you can't honestly be thinking about…" John was immediately interrupted by Steven's hand shooting up to silence him.

"Don't worry, I'll let them know what happened, I'll see what I can do, pull some strings, I'm sure we can arrange to keep the baby on Atlantis, after all, I don't think she'll take to anyone at this point," chuckled Steven.

"Sir?" Elizabeth questioned suddenly confused.

"Twenty-nine years ago, I sat in a similar position as McKay is in right now, holding my little girl, and I know…I understand how easy it is to become attached to babies," Steven said grinning.

"Gee Rodney, someone's going to be a daddy," joked John poking his brother.

"Gee John, someone's an Uncle," Rodney prodded in return.

"Hey, I am!" John said suddenly as he looked down at the girl who suddenly became his niece, "So what do we do, have the Daedalus come back and forth every few months with diapers?" chuckled John.

"Hardly, I can head to Earth next week sometime, if you guys can survive a little over a month, than I think we can bring you back enough stuff to survive several years."

"You know it might be a good idea to go home with the wee one as well, perhaps taking Elizabeth and Teyla with you, pick out some clothes she can wear…" Carson suggested.

"I don't know Carson, maybe keeping her here is a good idea. It's not like Earth can come over here and take her, as where if Rodney heads to Earth, they could easily take her from him."

"Can we stop referring to her as…well her, her name is Lauryn!" Rodney hissed.

"All right everyone, I think the wee one needs a nap, and I'm fairly sure Rodney does too," chuckled Carson.

It ceased to amaze Rodney at how easy it was to fall in love with such a beautiful little baby. Ronan and John had returned to the planet to pick up the cradle and see if there weren't any clothes for the little one. Teyla went to Athos to pick up some items for Lauryn as well.

Rodney sat on the floor of his living quarters, knees drawn up, elbows both resting on a knee, his head leaning against his fists. As he watched the tiny baby sleeping on her side, cooing quietly every now and then. An awe struck look written all over his handsome features.

And that's how Elizabeth found him, just staring at the beautiful infant, as the baby slept soundly, unaware to the rest of the beautiful world. As was Rodney as he just gazed at the tiny little girl.

"Didn't your mother ever tell you your face could get stuck that way?" Elizabeth said grinning.

Rodney turned and grinned at her, she leaned against the door jamb. He shrugged non-chalantly and turned his eyes back on Lauryn, "I've never felt…"

"…so needed?" Elizabeth said grinning.

"Yeah, she relies on me, to feed her, clothe her, clean her, take care of her…it's weird. I mean usually it's me needing other people, for attention, or lack of attention."

"Your mother would have been proud to see you step up like this for such a helpless little thing," Elizabeth whispered as she came over and sat cross legged next to him.

"Thanks…I always thought John would have a child before me…well actually he does, but I guess…I always talk about wanting children…and in a way I really do want children, but I was so afraid of having them…afraid that maybe I'd be like my dad. But I look at her…and I don't think I could ever hurt her. I'm in love with her…I've only known her for a day…if that and I'm in love with her," Rodney whispered.

Elizabeth smiled softly, she didn't even think about what she was doing, but she slipped one arm under Rodney's arm, and the other over, cuddling by his side for a moment. She leaned her head against his shoulder, surprised almost when he leaned his head against hers.

"My brother had his first child…named it Bethie, I held her for the first time, and I was just so in love with that little girl. It is amazing how someone can get so attached to someone so quickly. But Rodney, you're not like that man…the man who raised you for the first ten years of your life. You're better than that, and I knew it from the first moment I ever met you. I knew there had to be more to you than that."

"Do you think she'll love me?" he asked softly, reaching out he caressed Lauryn's cheek, the baby seemed to move into his touch, almost seeking the warmth and love.

"I think she already does. Let's face it Rodney, she was alone for only God knows how long on that planet, and suddenly you come along, you give her something she doesn't know well, you gave her warmth, love and care. She doesn't know anything else but you anymore."

"I…I almost want to keep her…"

"You're going to keep her Rodney, because I don't think you're the first person to get attached to this little angel."

"My little angel," he said grinning. Almost on cue the tiny baby began to squall, Rodney smiled softly, "oh, oh, it's okay," he whispered as he reached out and scooped her up in his arms. Instantly the cries softened to whimpers and soon were back to even breaths again.

"McKay's angel," Elizabeth whispered grinning.


	21. Insomnica's Dream of Sleep

Author's Note: Wow, I'm glad you all liked it, I wasn't actually expecting everyone to react quite so well, having lost a couple reviews becuase things seem very tight knit right now. Please not this is not going to become a shipper, at least not in the moment, don't forget the very large mistake Rodney is going to be making shortly, I don't think Elizabeth's going to be too happy with him after that...do you? Anyway any shipper hints will stop there for quite some time, until I decide Rodney can learn to gain back her trust. I also apologize for the slowness of my updates, I'm in a little bit of a writing funk right now...simply because I'm really busy and there's this story that I'm having trouble writing, so hopefully this weekend I'll get a much better chance to really write for awhile.

Chapter Twenty-One: Insomniacs Dream of Sleep

He was half asleep, the baby fast asleep in her crib, or so he thought. Somehow in the past eight days that she had been with them, he had grown more attached to the little angel than he had ever intended.

The horse cry however, instantly awoke him from his tender sleep. He snorted from his soft snore as he looked around, quickly taking in his surroundings he realized he was on Atlantis, in his room, and that his baby was crying.

"Oh you have to be kidding me," he grumbled as he wearily stood from his bed and meandered over to the crib across from his bed. His hair in every direction he continued to grumble. He had been lucky thus far, the tiny infant slept through every night. Unaware that most babies her age didn't sleep through the night. Rodney had been so happy to find out his newly adopted daughter did ninety percent of her crying during the day.

"Lauryn…you don't cry at night," he muttered as he reached into the crib and lifted the precious cargo into his arms. She was rubbing her fists over her ears as she screamed loudly, her face turning bright red, tears streaming down her pale face.

Fear and terror struck him instantly, and like any father, who wasn't thinking straight. Rodney hurried out of his room, unable to remember that he had a intercom to the right of his bed. He hurried down the hall with the crying infant in his arms. He came to a sliding stop in front of one door and instantly began to pound on it furiously.

"CARSON!" he screamed frantically.

Half of Atlantis, at least the Senior staff and second in command staff were wide awake at this point and standing at their doors, waiting to either pounce on the idiot scientist and his daughter, or to pounce on the doctor for not hearing the confounded screaming as early as they had.

The door suddenly slid open, and a very exhausted looking Carson came walking to the door. His blue eyes opened at the sight of Rodney holding the screaming baby, Rodney only clad in a pair of his Marvin the Martin boxers and a white shirt that read "got Physics".

"Rodney…" mumbled Carson, trying not to sound irritated or confused.

"She…she started crying," Rodney said, his arms shaking.

"Aye Rodney, she's a baby that's what they do…"

"No…no listen to her," he said handing her over to Carson carefully.

Carson sighed and took the baby into his arms, it didn't take but a second to realize what Rodney was talking about. He looked at Rodney for a moment, a little worried about the baby.

"Carson, what's wrong?" Elizabeth asked as she pulled her robe tighter around her thin waist. John moved over, donning only socks and a pair of flannel pajama bottoms.

"Let's get the wee one to the infirmary," Carson said trying to sound reassuring as he whisked Lauryn off to the infirmary, followed closely by Rodney, John, Teyla, Elizabeth, Ronan and Zelenka.

Elizabeth had never seen Rodney so jumpy and jittery; it wasn't unusual to see the man wired and unable to sit still, but this was ridiclus. John had already told him to sit down two or three times, in the twenty minutes they'd been sitting there.

Carson had disappeared behind the infirmary doors with Lauryn in his arms, and Nurse Mary DeSantos by his side. He hadn't said another word to any of them, his attention all focused on the little baby in his arms.

"Rodney, sit down! And that's an order!" Elizabeth finally lashed out, she didn't mean to, but he was driving her nuts. They all loved and adored Lauryn, but his pacing wasn't helping anyone.

"No, I'm here," Carson said smiling softly as he exited the doors and looked at the large group of Atlantians' clad in only their pajamas. "Now, before ya'll start askin' me what's wrong, let me speak first. It isn't anything abnormal in a baby, alien or human. The wee one has an infection in her otitis media."

"That doesn't sound good," John said.

"That's an ear infection, John," stated Elizabeth, causing a small grin from Rodney and a chuckle from Carson.

"Oh…I knew that," John said confidently.

"Aye…anyway she'll be fine in a few weeks, she just needs plenty of rest, love and takin' care of. She's gonna be a wee bit cranky, like a scientist we know," he said eyeing Rodney.

"Can we see her?" Rodney asked oblivious to the look being shot at him.

"Aye, but she's in a lot of pain, all we can do if give her baby Tylenol, I'll prescribe some antibiotics strong enough for just her, she should only take it twice a day, at morning and night. She's going to cry, and probably vomit, she is to young to control such functions. Sorry to tell ya lad, but you've had it fairly easily up until now. This is where parenting really takes over."

"I'm doomed," Rodney mumbled as he dropped himself into the chair.

"Hardly Rodney, I survived at least four ear infections from Lisa," John said smiling.

"You spent twenty years with Luke and Lauren…"

"Yeah, and ten years had to have rubbed off on you," John replied slapping his brother gently on the shoulder.

"Come on Rodney, Lauryn is going to what her da'," Carson said leading his friend back to the infirmary.

"Rodney…no offense but we're all going back to sleep," Elizabeth said grinning.

"Thanks," Rodney replied sarcastically as he watched his friends retreat from the small child.

"Come on Rodney, I'll get you started…"

"Wait…you mean your not keeping her here?"

"No Rodney, I don't keep you and John here, no matter how much you whine, when you have colds, there is no such reason to do so with your wee daughter. It is simple lad, she's going to want you to hold her a lot, so plan on taking the next few weeks off, she's going to have drainage, now if any of it has blood in it, bring her here immediately, otherwise just try and keep her calm, I'll also give you ear drops for her. No matter how much she fights it she needs sleep and to eat, otherwise it'll just get worse. She's going to run a minor fever, if it gets any higher than 101 degrees, bring her here and we'll set her up on an IV."

"Carson…"

"Rodney, she's just a wee baby, she isn't going to hurt you, if anything she's going to need you. I don't know what else to tell ya lad, lots of love."

"Carson…" Rodney began again as Carson gently handed over Lauryn to Rodney. Rodney instantly took the slight burden, and looked down in the teary blue eyes.

"She can hear me right?"

"Aye, she'll hear you, she might fuss off and on between medications, but she'll be fine, I'll check up on both of ya every couple days."

"O…okay," he whispered softly.

"You'll be fine…."

> > > > >

'Famous last words' thought Carson Beckett as he covered his ears at the shrill screams breaking through his night. It was amazing that such a little girl could have such a powerful cry.

Carson knew Rodney was doing his best, and he had seen Rodney in the past two days, both times Rodney had looked terrible, exhausted and ready to break down at any moment.

Teyla Emmagan was quickly running out of patience, she could only listen to a small child cry and scream for so long. She had no doubt in her mind that Rodney could be and was a great father; he was strong, kind and loving. However, there was also no doubt, that he had no idea how to handle a small screaming infant.

Meanwhile in his own room, Rodney McKay was getting ready to cry himself. He'd been pacing his bedroom for the past five hours, with a wailing infant on his shoulder, it didn't matter what he did, feed her, rock her, hold her, play with her, read to her, nothing seemed to work. She had thrown up on three of his shirts before he figured out not wearing shirts was easier to clean. He wore a pair of flannel plaid pants, and bare feet. The little girl cuddle to his chest, gripping his chest hair tightly in her tiny fist. He tried not to show how badly that hurt in itself.

Finally it dawned on him, he smiled softly, "you know something, when I was a baby my mom used to sing to me when I was sick…which was a lot…god, what did she sing to me…

"_Goodnight, my angel _

_Time to close your eyes _

_And save these questions for another day _

_I think I know what you've been asking me _

_I think you know what I've been trying to say _

_I promised I would never leave you _

_And you should always know _

_Wherever you may go _

_No matter where you are _

_I never will be far away…" _his voice trailed off, her screams had toned down a octive or two and he felt himself relax, sighing he crawled on top of his bed, stretching out wearily on his back, he placed her against his chest, her good ear against his chest.

"_Goodnight, my angel _

_Now it's time to sleep _

_And still so many things I want to say _

_Remember all the songs you sang for me _

_When we went sailing on an emerald bay _

_And like a boat out on the ocean _

_I'm rocking you to sleep _

_The water's dark _

_And deep inside this ancient heart _

_You'll always be a part of me…"_ he continued as he gently ran his hand through her growing hair, which was also growing darker by the day. Her tiny whimpers sounded so painfully sad. He felt terrible listening to her whimper and cry. He moved his hand to her back, rubbing it in small slow circles.

"_Goodnight, my angel _

_Now it's time to dream _

_And dream how wonderful your life will be _

_Someday your child may cry _

_And if you sing this lullaby _

_Then in your heart _

_There will always be a part of me…" _another verse and the whimpers were becoming softer as her harsh breathing became slower and soft. He smiled softly, and decided to continue, after all he needed sleep as much as she did.

"_Someday we'll all be gone _

_But lullabies go on and on... _

_They never die _

_That's how you _

_And I _

_Will be…" _his voice trailed off, eyes sliding closed as sleep took him as well. He never heard his door slide open. Carson, John, Elizabeth and Teyla stuck their heads into the bedroom and grinned.

Rodney was completely stretched out on the bed, on hand gently holding his daughter, the other still rubbing slow circles on her back. Soothing the savage soul, calming the crying infant.

"I think our little Rodney is all grown up," joked Carson.

"I fell asleep with Lisa like that the first few nights after she and Cheryl came home from the hospital," John said grinning.

"I think we're in this for the long haul," Elizabeth said grinning from ear to ear.

"Let's leave them alone, they all need sleep," Teyla whispered.

"Hang on," Elizabeth quietly crept into the room, grabbed the blanket off the back of the bed, she draped it over the two forms, giving them the warmth and comfort. "Sleep well," she whispered as she pressed a soft kiss to the back of Lauryn's head.

With that the four friends closed the door and left the father and daughter to the sleep they deserved and had earned for so many days. Carson decided he would check on her fever later tomorrow, and perhaps even see how Rodney was doing.

Elizabeth crept back into the room mid morning the next day, she wrote a quick note to Rodney, letting him know that she would be taking Lauryn for the day, allowing him the chance to sleep.

Lauryn protested for all of two seconds, before her big blue eyes landed on Elizabeth, and she curled back into the woman's arms. "Shh, lets let daddy get some sleep," she whispered. Elizabeth pulled the blanket back up around Rodney's shoulders and carried Lauryn out of the room.

Elizabeth headed off to the infirmary, Carson smiled softly and took the infant into his arms, "there's our little angel, and obviously down for the count."

Elizabeth sat by Lauryn's side, watching the baby sleep, as Carson gave her a thorough check up, "well?" Elizabeth questioned.

"She'll be fine, a few more days, I think she got past the worst part last night. Let her daddy sleep for now, we'll wake him up later. Let them both sleep."

"Thanks Carson…" Elizabeth whispered.

"Elizabeth, you don't think Earth is going to make Rodney give this wee one up…do you?"

"I hope not…why?"

"Well…honestly, the past week is the first time I haven't heard him screaming down the hall at his scientists, and there haven't been any accidents, for the first time, the city seems to be running well, and Rodney seems to be easier to deal with."

"I've noticed as well, and while I honestly believe it won't last long. You're right, Lauryn has done an awful lot of good for all of us, especially Rodney. He knows he's got family here, but I think this little one gives him a real reason to feel needed."

"Aye, it's a grand feeling…" Carson said gently.

"Carson?" Elizabeth replied raising an eyebrow.

"No, I don't have any wee ones, I would love one or two, but I remember when my wee brother was just a little lad, used to cling to me side all the time…I felt really needed."

"You're really needed here too Carson, everyone knows it."

"Thank you lass."

Carson was feeding Lauryn when Rodney came in, looking frantic, but less haggard than he had in the past two days. Judging by his appearance however, he had at least changed his clothes and received several hours of good sleep before he figured out that his new daughter had gone missing.

"You scared me!" Rodney hissed as he came over to the little girl.

Carson grinned as Lauryn instantly recognized her father, she stuck out her hands, lower lip trembling; threatening to sprout tears if Rodney didn't scoop her up there and then.

"Come here you," Rodney said as he lifted Lauryn into his arms and smiled at her. "How is she?"

"On the mend at last, still sick, and fussy, but I think she's finally starting to feel better. How are you feeling lad?"

"Exhausted, I could use a million more hours of sleep."

"Then go get some, I can watch her for a few more hours, we aren't busy, the only patient we've got is Major Lorne who is complaining about pain in his side."

"What's wrong with him?"

"Appendicitis I believe, I've got him on some pain medication watching him for now, Dr. Mitchinson and I are going to operate later this afternoon."

"Oh…I'm sorry to hear that. Well, we should be going, I've got a few tests to run for a project," Rodney said smiling.

"Just remember she needs rest!" Carson called as Rodney headed out of the infirmary with Lauryn in his arms. Carson had to grin at that, Rodney had a rough time suddenly being separated from the little girl, just as much as Lauryn had trouble being separated from her recent caregiver. Shaking his head he went back to work, knowing he had more important things to do; than laugh at his friend's sudden change in demeanor.


	22. To Be Condemed

Author's Note: Short chapter, sorry guys, the next one is longer! Please Enjoy!

Chapter Twenty-Two: To be Condemned

"You need something like this?" Eldon asked grinning as he held up the knife for the four teammates to see.

"What about the guards?" Rodney spoke first.

"They stepped away. No-one's watching."

"Will you help us?" Teyla inquired from her place beside Sheppard.

"If you'll help me," Eldon replied simply.

"How?" Sheppard shot in return.

"Fix the ship, let me leave with you."

"Oh for God's sake! How many times do I have to tell you ..." however Eldon cut him off before he could finish.

"I know you can do it. I could see it in your eyes when you were working that you were holding something back from us."

"Rodney?" John returned glaring at his brother.

"_Nobody_ could fix it. I don't care who you think I am, or what you think you saw in my eyes, but it is totally, completely impossible." Rodney growled in response.

"Torrell and his men are gonna return soon." Eldon stated.

"He'll fix it," John said suddenly, he could see it, there was indeed something there. The liar, John felt anger flare through his veins.

"I just said I couldn't!" Rodney gasped.

"You really suck at lying, Rodney. We have a deal."

They dove through the gate to Atlantis, John turned and watched as Elizabeth's jumper came through the gate, he felt himself begin to breathe again.

He looked over his shoulder for the first time, he could hear Carson's deep brogue hollering halfway down the hall. Rodney, Teyla and Ronan were by his side.

"Everyone okay?" he mumbled.

"Yes," Teyla replied as she looked at Eldon.

"I'm good," muttered Dex as he stood up slowly, as though testing his powerful body.

"Rodney?"

"Huh?" Rodney asked looking up.

"You all right?" John was well past angry, somehow his damn brother always managed to get into the tight spots and somehow John always had to get him out.

"Uh…little dizzy," he mumbled truthfully.

"Colonel!" Carson called as he hurried to their sides. John instantly pointed to Rodney who was becoming pale.

"When was the last time you ate?" Rodney simply shrugged and felt Teyla press a cereal bar into his hands.

"He'll be fine," Carson said smiling softly.

John was pissed, angry, frustrated and yet again his anger and frustrations were directly related to the idiot brother he'd been kin to for the past twenty odd years.

He pressed his hand against the key pad to Rodney's lab; after a two hour debrief with Elizabeth and another hour taking a nice hot shower, John was nearing how he normally felt again.

Rodney however, apparently wasn't: he sat in his chair, still dirty, probably smelled worse than he looked. His hair mussed up as he stared at something on his computer screen.

"Rodney…"

"Shh!" Rodney hissed.

"Rod, it's nearly midnight, whatever you're working on can't possibly be that important."

"How would you know?"

"Rod, we need to talk…"

"I'm busy…"

"Yeah, well you're also a terrible liar, look Lauryn is crying for you and frankly I'd like for you to shut her up. Now get your ass out of this chair."

"Why can't you just leave me alone?" Rodney asked suddenly.

"Excuse me?"

"Seriously, why did you have to come on this stupid mission, why did you have to pick me for your team? You obviously don't trust me!"

"Whoa, back up there…"

"Admit it Colonel, you don't trust me, in fact the only reason you listen to me is because I've saved your ass at least twice."

"Rodney…."

"You're supposed to back me up! Me, your own brother, and yet once again you sided with some criminal, am I so worthless that you'd choose someone else over your own blood? I may be egotistical but you're the only person that can bring me down faster than my own father!" growled Rodney.

"Rodney I…"

"Call me when we leave for our next mission," mumbled Rodney as he moved away from his desk and stalked out the door.

"well, that went well," John mumbled quietly as he watched his brother retreat.

"He has every right to be angry with you," Teyla spoke as she threw her weight into the blow.

"I'm not denying that!" hissed John as he dropped to the floor. "I'm just saying I think he overreacted."

"Perhaps, but it's true what he says, you two have not been as close…if I may ask, but what has happened?"

John paused for a moment, still sitting on the floor and shrugged, lost in his thoughts, "I honestly don't know, I mean we always used to be best friends. Now we're here and suddenly I wanna kick his ass, and he wants to like blow me up or somethin'. It's just suddenly he's not the same man…"

"You mean Lauryn has changed him?"

"No, not even that, he was different before that, he's just…changed."

"And you have not?"

"I suppose I have…but, I don't know Teyla, if I did, I probably wouldn't be sitting here getting my ass kicked by you."

"I am always here to help John, and to…kick your ass," she said grinning.


	23. Carson's Chapter

Author's Note: This chaper is mostly for our favorite Scottish doctor here, it may be a little hard to follow, but it's supposed to be that way, read it carefully, you won't really have to think that hard. Also the end is about Elizabeth, I put the final part of this in here for a specific reason. It's sorta my way of showing that Rodney is ready to give up his love for the respect he has for Elizabeth. I'm a McWeir fan, I won't deny that, but at the same time I think if it really happened on the TV show it would probably ruin the show. So Rodney is going to let the fact that he loves her go. I'll let you figure it out from there. Please read and review and enjoy!

Chapter Twenty-Three: Carson's Chapter

Coughing, hacking, choking; whatever one wanted to call it, all Carson knew was he was surrounded by it all. He rubbed his temples wearily as he took another look around his infirmary.

Major Lorne, Lt. Cadman, Dr. Brown, Dr. Zelenka, Dr. McKay, Colonel Sheppard, Dr. Kosiungi, Dr. Kavanagh, Specialist Ronan Dex…and the list went on, twenty nine patients, fifteen men, and fourteen women had started showing flu like symptoms two weeks ago…within days half of Atlantis seemed to be developing the symptoms that came along with the infection.

Lieutenant Cadman had come in complaining to Carson of a headache, chills, a slight fever and extreme muscle fatigue. Carson, to say the least, had been surprised by her ability to name off the symptoms as though she were a doctor like him. She had simply explained that her mother and sister were both nurses. She had joined the military to become a nurse, but ended up being picked for her weapons specialty instead.

Two days after her Dr. Katie Brown followed, with similar symptoms, and of course hours later Rodney came rushing in, Lauryn no where in sight, saying something about his dying. Once Carson had him calmed down and placed on an IV and cooling pads, he was able to convince Rodney had had a nasty case of the flu. That was when Rodney mumbled something about not kissing girls ever again.

Within days of them John, Ronan, and half the science team showed up, Carson was starting to wonder if they were all just that unsanitary or if the whole science team was having one big affair with each other and passing on the flu.

Whatever it was, few people seemed to be inflicted by it thus far, Elizabeth had steered clear when Carson told her what was wrong, and kept Lauryn with her. Teyla offered to take the rest of Atlantis to the mainland as a joke, however very few found it funny, andthe otherfew had wanted to take her up on the offer.

For every ounce that Rodney McKay was a terrible patient, Carson decided undoubtedly that John Sheppard could be just as bad if not worse at times. Always trying to convince everyone he was fine while he was falling out of bed.

"Carson?" Nurse DeSantos questioned.

"Hmmm?" He asked softly looking at his head of nurses.

"Doctor, I think we should get you into a bed," she replied as gently as possible.

"I'm fine," he replied, not realizing his words were slurring together.

"No, you're not," a cool hand slid up to his forehead, heat emanating from the skin there. "Fever, you're shaking like your cold, headache, when's the last time you slept?"

"How long have we been on Atlantis?" he replied jokingly.

"Cute, come on doctor."

> > > >

"Can you not perhaps, make her stop screaming," Teyla begged as she watched Elizabeth try to comfort the three month old baby.

"She wants her father," Elizabeth muttered.

"My mother once told me I screamed very much like that when he was not near."

"She sense him…is that possibly."

"She is not human; it is unsure what abilities she could have. I am sure she senses when her father is ailing, or hurt."

"Come on Lauryn," Elizabeth muttered as she continued to hold the child in her arms and gently sing and whisper to her.

"So, I have good news and bad news," Nurse DeSantos said as she suddenly come hurrying into the room. Both women looked up at her.

"Bad news first," mumbled Elizabeth, still holding the sniffling infant.

"Carson has the flu, he's out like a light." Nancy explained as she looked from one woman to the other.

"And the…good news?" Teyla questioned.

"Well, Rodney and John are getting better, I just released Katie and Laura…Radek will be released sometime tomorrow."

"Thank goodness," Elizabeth whispered. She looked down at the baby in her lap and smiled softly as the big teary blue eyes looked up at her in question, "daddy is getting better," Elizabeth explained.

"You will keep us informed?" Teyla requested.

"You bet, someone has to keep this place running," Nancy said smiling.

> > > >

"No, have to help…" murmured Carson as he tried to push Dr. Jenkins and Nancy away.

"No Carson, you've got to stay in bed, you're running a fever of 104.2, you're really sick," Dr. Michael Jenkins tried to explain with a restraining hand on his friend's shoulder.

"Need me," he mumbled.

"Not that badly," Nancy spoke this time as she gently wiped the sweat caked hair from Carson's face. "Sleep Carson, the best thing you can do for us right now, is to get some well deserved rest."

"That's it, I'm officially making it a request that anyone who has the flu stays in their rooms or in the infirmary, and anyone who doesn't stays the hell away from both!" Mike growled.

"Sorry Mike, isn't going to work, come on, Dr. McKay is moaning and groanin' over there," chuckled Nancy.

"The man seems to think he's the only doctor here," stated Jenkins referring to Carson.

"Michael, I hate to say it, but they all do, Rodney thinks he's the only scientist who can do every job, and in many ways he is. Carson thinks he's the only one who can fix everyone up…and for a lot of people he's the only one they really know. Elizabeth is the only leader we'll ever accept, and John is the one who feels he has to protect everyone."

> > > >

_"Come here Carson," she called gently to the young child. Two bright feverish blue eyes looked up at her, as he shook his head. "Carson, not today okay?" Katherine requested gently of her young son._

_"I'm okay momma," he replied grinning as well as he could._

_"No you're not, come Carson, I know you want to be a doctor just like your da, but he listens to his body too, come now," she scooped the six year old boy up into her arms, groaning with how heavy he was growing, soon he would be too old to hold and love like this anymore._

_Instantly two legs were wrapped around her waist and a sweat damped head was resting against her shoulder. She could feel the heat radiating off him like waves off an ocean. She hiked up the stairs in their small but loving cottage, and carried him into his room. _

_Pulling back the covers, she placed the baby down on the bed, he looked up at her like he was being punished and not sick. "Carson, don't give me that look, I'm sorry you'll be missing your football game, but when one is ill, one must be taken care of," she explained gently as she pulled the blankets up around his shoulders and pressed a kiss to his forehead._

_"Now, you try and get some sleep sweetheart, okay, I'm gonna get ya some buttermilk, rest," she said wiping more hair from his face._

_The little boy would never admit how terrible he truly felt to his momma, the sudden thought of how sick he really did feel, made him do something he hadn't done in awhile, he cried, and began to cry hard, crying out for his mother's help, her touch. _

_"Shhh, I'm here baby," she whispered as she hurried up the stairs and back into his room. She scooped the boy up into her arms again and held him close, rocking him back and forth gently._

_"I don't wanna be sick momma," he cried in her arms, clinging to her clothing. _

_Katherine smiled simply, and continued to hold her baby, rocking him back and forth, for she knew every child got sick more often than they like, but she also knew he was quite sick. She called the doctor several hours later, her own husband had arrived home by this time, and was waiting down in the living room for the doctor to come out._

_"…he's very sick….fever of hundred and four…"_

The voices seemed to be fading and out as he tried to focus on the sounds around him. He slowly opened his eyes, everything was blurry, but very few lights were on.

Things slowly came to place in his haze filled mind, as he realized he was in Atlantis' infirmary. Turning his head he groaned as it pounded with vengeance. A fuzzy blob that looked to be Rodney McKay was lying in the bed next to him, a wash cloth draped across his forehead.

Carson tried to sigh but it came out as a groan when he felt his chest grow heavier. He was vaguely aware of the cool compress under his back and shoulders blades and the was cloth draped across his own forehead. He tried to continue looking around, he could hear voices somewhere in the room, but suddenly found himself not caring as his eyes began to drift close again.

_"Carson, luv, it's time to take your medicine," Patrick Beckett called gently as he entered the boy's room._

_"No," came the soft cry from the bed. Patrick had to hide his grin, Carson had pulled his blankets over his hot little forehead and was hiding behind them._

_"Carson, we've discussed this…" Patrick said firmly as he sat down on the bed in front of his son._

_"Uh huh!" cried the boy as his father's hand crept over the blanket, beginning to pull it down._

_"Carson, you're a big boy now…sick or not I need you to act like a big boy and take your medicine so you can get better."_

_"No medicine," Carson whimpered as his father set him with a stern gaze._

_"Son…"_

_"MOMMMY!" Screamed the child as he tripped over his blankets and went haphazardly barreling down the hallway; searching for his mommy._

_"Oh, there's my boy," came Katherine's voice as she easily intercepted the small winded child and lifted him up into her arms. She cradled him against her hip and looked at him as sternly as she could without giggling. "Are you giving daddy a hard time?"_

_"No," Carson lied as he played with one of the button's on his mother's shirt._

_"Carson, sweetie, da knows what's best for ya son," she gently rubbed his back and carried him back into the room. Carson turned in his mother's arms, burying his face in her neck._

_Patrick grinned at the sight, Carson was quite a boy, and more attached to his mum than most wee ones. "That boy is never going to grow out of this," stated Patrick._

_"He's only six Pat, give him time, he's just a wee one…"_

_"Aye, but he is in school lass, he shouldn't need you all the time…"_

_"Patrick, for every ounce that I love you, I cannot ignore my child's cries. He is my baby, and always will be."_

_"He's never going to leave your side at this rate…"_

_"No, he's my son, and he will do many great things. He will see the world…"_

Carson smiled softly at the dream, he had seen more than just the world, he was seeing the universe, and loving every minute of it. He groaned as he tried to get comfortable again, but he was quickly finding there was no comfortable position for him at this point.

"Carson…." Nancy whispered as she leaned over him…

_"Carson…" Katherine whispered as she knelt over the bed, looking at her young son._

_"Tired," he murmured as he rolled on his side towards her offered comfort. _

_She pressed a cool hand to his forehead and sighed, wishing she could understand how someone so tiny could possibly emanate so much heat. Bending over she pressed a kiss to his forehead, "a charm for luck," she whispered, as she brushed the hair from his forehead._

_"Love you mum…."_

"Carson…no offense but I'm not your mum," joked John as he stood over his best friend.

Carson tried to focus on the man, heaving a large sigh he nodded, "dreamin' bout mum…helluva lot pretty than you too…" he slurred.

"I'm sure she was…mine certainly looks prettier than you look right now."

"Prude," mumbled Carson.

"There's the good ol' doc," John grinned.

"Where's Mck…aay…"

"He went back to his room an hour ago, your nurse Nancy went psycho with him around and finally kicked his ass out. Apparently he's only tolerable when he's eating or unconscious. Anyway Nancy was sure he was on the mend…even if he wasn't, and sent him back to his room."

"You…"

"I was discharged from this boot camp about two days ago."

"Two…how long have I been out?"

"Well…you were admitted about a week to ten days ago, you've been in and out of consciousness for four days."

"Saw Rodney…cloth on his head."

"Yeah that was about three days ago, he's still running a bit of a fever, but he'll survive, you my friend will too," John said smiling weakly.

"Vitals?" Carson mumbled.

"Your BP is back to normal, your fever is down around one hundred and the doc says we can try and feed you some solid food later today, if you're up to it," John replied like a doctor.

"Up to it…water?" Carson whispered weakly.

"We can manage that, listen you relax for a few minutes, and I'll go see if I can't find something for you to munch on and something to drink, the doc says you need your strength back."

"Elizabeth…?"

"Elizabeth is at the moment incapacitated in the bed two cubicals next to you, she and Teyla got the flu a day ago…Caldwell and Major Lorne are running the place, well now I'm running it with Rodney as soon as he gets off his duff."

"Who's caring for Lauryn?"

"Caldwell, she hasn't been enjoying it much without her Rodney, but Nancy says in three or four more days she can go back to Rodney's care."

"Good girl," mumbled Carson.

"Get some rest doc, we'll take care of you," John said rubbing his friend's shoulder.

"Thanks."

> > > >

Five Days Later

"It's just the flu," that's what Carson kept telling him, but that didn't keep everyone from worrying about their strong leader; Elizabeth wasn't supposed to get sick, she wasn't supposed to have any weakness. For some, to find out she was sick with the flu seemed almost surreal, but for Rodney it was no surprise. He'd been watching her for the past week since some for of the flu bug descended upon Atlantis. He knew instantly she had it and just wasn't willing to tell anyone. Elizabeth had said it herself a few times, she couldn't show weakness, not in times when things were bad and not when she had to be strong for everyone on the base.

Rodney hated watching her do this to herself, almost as much as she hated watching him drive himself into the ground. None the less, he had sat by her side since the day she had finally collapsed from utter exhaustion and had been brought here.

"John, Carson and I are working to keep everything in order, we'll of course fill you in as soon as Carson gives us the okay," Rodney gently squeezed her hand and smiled.

Two days ago her fever had spiked so high that it had sent her into a seizure, Rodney of course, had remained by her side. Not to be moved, even by the angry annoyed doctor who ordered him to get some of his own rest before Rodney collapsed from the same thing Elizabeth had collapsed from. But it did no good, Rodney wouldn't be moved, not now and not any time soon.

He didn't love her…at least he didn't think so, he could possibly love someone he had never dated. He had dinner with her on occasion in the mess hall, but even John had those. He knew Elizabeth better than anyone on this base, aside from maybe Carson, he had seen her cry, he had held her when Simon dumped her like yesterday's trash. He had calmed her from a few nightmares, but he had never dated her, never slept with her, never even really held her hand before. Aside from holding her, he had only hugged her maybe once. He'd never kissed her, never even said he liked her. So was it even remotely possibly to love someone who couldn't even love you back.

She had far too much on her plate to have time for love, she had too much to do, too many people to save and watch over. Love was something that only the ignorant made time for, at least that's what Rodney's father had always said. It was useless in real life. There was nothing to be learned from it.

He didn't believe this, he had seen true love growing up as a teenager, Luke and Lauren had loved each other more than life itself. No matter how vehemently John and Teyla denied it…they certainly seemed very attracted to one another. So why was it, that Rodney couldn't fathom loving someone, couldn't quite grasp the idea of true love, or even puppy love. He knew he hadn't loved Sam, no matter how often he spouted off how beautiful she was, there was no true love there. Perhaps a lust for a woman, who he could never have because she was very possibly already in love.

Yet, here he sat, day in and day out for three days now, waiting for the leader of Atlantis to open her eyes and tell everyone she was alive and feeling fine. Holding her soft yet strong working hands. Looking upon her usually brightly lit green orbs, waiting for her beautiful red lips to speak something to him. Gently caressing her soft chestnut waves.

How could he have fallen for someone who couldn't love him, why had he fallen for someone? Wasn't he supposed to build those walls up, and keep them up. Had his time with John, Lauren, Luke and now on Atlantis changed him so greatly that the walls were literally non-existent to those who bothered seeing past them? Was he that weak that he couldn't hold up those damn barriers he had created?

What had changed him, this woman? Carson? Perhaps even John and his family? Why did they suddenly give a damn what happened to him. He never understood the concept of caring, understanding, love or compassion. It was impossible to understand something that he had only felt for eight years before moving out. Only after a year and a half here, had he truly regained some of the faith in people he had had during his time with the Sheppards. He cared about Lauryn, his little Lauryn, he loved her, but not the same way he had come to care about Elizabeth. He truly respected the woman for all her strengths and weaknesses...and he would perfer to have that reciporcated rather than the love he held for her at this moment.

"Rodney, you just got over the flu yourself, you really ought to be resting," Carson spoke to his friend.

"That's calling the kettle black isn't it Carson, seeing as you were only discharged three days ago."

"Don't get smart with me Rodney, I'm not afraid to send you to your quarters."

"Oooh," mumbled Rodney as he looked at Elizabeth again.

"She's going to be fine Rodney, her temperature is already descending, she and Teyla were the last ones to get sick, and they're going to be fine in no time."

"I know…"

"You just have to see it for yourself, aye lad, I understand."

"Can I sit with her for just a bit longer?"

"I suppose, twenty more minutes, than it's off with ya, it's hard enough to get you in here, now ya won't go away when I tell you to."

"Thank you Carson."

"Aye, I'm a Saint, I know..." mumbled the Doctor as he headed back out of the infirmary.


	24. Optimus Nex

Author's Note: First off, this chapter isn't pretty it deals with some harsh stuff, all the information on Chlorine gas came directly from the CDC website as well as my AP Senior english class when we learned about the chemical. Also this deals heavily with the general idea of the second world war. Don't worry it'll all make sense when you read it. This chapter is my baby of sorts, I'vce had this idea since last year in my senior year in high school. Please review for this chapter I'd really apperciate any and all constructive criticism on this chapter (grammar doesn't count because I know it could usually be better).This chapteralso wasn't orginallypart of this story so please excuse any small things that may seem different, I've tried to change everything I spotted so it would fit better.Also this story is developing slower than I'd like simply because only one website has posted up a copy of the Convesion epsiode and I need the entire script because it's going to be a big chapter, I'm going to try and speed up the pace of everything, but bare with me folks. Thank you and please review.

Chapter Twenty-Four: Optimus Nex

Night was upon Atlantis, but for Rodney McKay, the day had just begun, his surrogate daughter lay cooing in her crib, going between crying and whimpering for someone to hold or feed her. Rodney, clad in his boxers and t-shirt, gently scooped Lauryn from her crib and settled himself into a rocking chair Teyla had brought fromthe mainlandtwo weeks earlier. As though he'd been doing it all his life, Rodney held her in his arms, and rocked back and forth.

"Tiny little fingers, tiny little toes," he said grinning as he gently held her foot in his hand. She had gained four to six pounds already since they had found them. Carson had joked if Rodney didn't feed and treat her so well she'd still weigh what she did on the planet. Her hair had grown darker and was growing longer, although it was still very thin and silky.

"You need sleep Lauryn," he said simply as he gently continued to rock her. She looked up at him and stuck out her tiny pink tongue. "Did Uncle John teach you that? Great my little girl is going to be a heathen, hey put that back in your mouth young lady," she didn't move, but her mouth finally opened up into a giggle, "oh you think its funny do you," he stuck his own tongue out at her and blew a raspberry at her.

He grinned as she mimicked him, blowing a tiny raspberry right back at him. He pressed a kiss to her soft blemish free forehead, "we're not playing games here kiddo," he said softly.

She tried to mimic his words, moving her mouth as he did, "sleep," he whispered. She must have understood him, her blue eyes began to grow heavy and close.

"I love you sweet one," he whispered, words he hadn't spoken for years.

> > > >

Colonel Steven Caldwell sat in the briefing surrounded by some of the best people he had ever met. He would never openly tell any of them that, after all he was supposed to be a hard-nosed colonel with no heart. He was here to run a tight ship and that's what he meant to do.

To his left was Dr. Elizabeth Weir, she headed up the mission, she had done an amazing job surviving their first year; he was sure she'd do just as good a job this year, and he had been impressed at how well she seemed to control herself at times. Especially when it came to the egotistically man seated right beside her.

Dr. Rodney McKay, was a self-proclaimed genius, although according to Sheppard, Rodney really was one of the smartest men on Atlantis. Caldwell had a little issue with the younger scientist, but it was easy to see that while he was annoying and had a tendency to drive people up the wall, he indeed had friends and their respect was high. Just over two and a half months ago, Rodney's team had found a small infant girl, Rodney had almost instantly taken her into his heart, Steven had never seen anyone care so endlessly for someone so little. That was when Steven had decided to give the younger man a chance to prove himself.

To Caldwell's other side was the military commander of Atlantis, a position Caldwell had orginally wanted: Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, a strong willed, but amazingly smart young man. Caldwell had heard plenty of stories back on earth, both from Jack O'Neill and many other superiors about this man. And one thing he knew about the boy, was that John never gave up on anyone without a fight.

On John's other side sat a young woman named Teyla, Caldwell wasn't exactly sure to make of this woman yet, she was indeed amazing in more ways than one. But she was an alien and that brought Steven his doubts. Although both Weir and Sheppard had stated that she had been working with them since day one of being on this planet and that it was because of her they ever stood any chance against the Wraith. After Teyla came Ronan Dex, a runner from the Wraith, he was a strong man, with guts and a high tolerance for pain. He was smart, although alien, Steven had already started developing a strange trust in the man.

To Ronan's side was the last person, the one person Caldwell had instantly trusted for one reason or another. And that was Dr. Carson Beckett, a Scottish Doctor who knew his place but was not afraid to speak out against things when ready. He had just enough fear in him to prove he wasn't egotistically but enough brains to go up against both Sheppard and McKay.

Caldwell had the feeling however, that Sheppard, McKay and Beckett had a very different kind of friendship. They were three people that no one would ever expect to see together. After all one was annoying as hell, the other was stubborn and perhaps a little egotistically and the last one tended to be lacking the social skills for certain endeavors. But if there was one thing Caldwell had learned in the military it was not to judge people by how they looked. Each one had learned to hold their own by now, and far more than that they had learned to work together for the cause; whatever it may be.

"It should be a simple mission, we're going to see what M36-X97 to possibly offer us, see if we can't get anything in return for some of our supplies, now that we have them by the dozen and all," explained Sheppard grinned.

However if there was one thing Caldwell had noticed about this group of people, it was that _nothing_ was ever easy or simple. He had seen hundreds of mission reports, and while all the teams tended to have their share of injuries, Sheppard's team seemed to have more than any group, and it certainly didn't seem to be because they were careless. They just ran into trouble nearly every time.

"Well then, let's keep it simple, Major, you have a go," stated Weir as she eyed Caldwell. He hadn't taken over direct control yet, but sometimes she felt like he would swoop down and take her position as ranking personnel on this mission. She knew they wouldn't accept him, not the way they had accepted her after awhile. Even Bates had come to respect her…before he had died of severe injuries caused by a Wraith.

"Let's saddle up boys and girls, I wanna get back in time for the movie tonight," grinned Sheppard as he herded his team out of the briefing room. The room was instantly filled with chatter, as usual Rodney and Carson drifted towards John, as they spoke. Carson looked to be making a serious comment to both of them.

Caldwell took a moment to watch the three, whatever Carson had said caused John and Rodney to smile. Carson reached out and smacked Rodney in the arm in a friendly brother like manor before nodding a goodbye and joined Elizabeth by her side..

John and Rodney headed down the stairs to the main gate room and continued talking, Teyla and Ronan were also heading down the stairs. Weir smiled softly at Caldwell kindly and headed out of the briefing room. She came to stand next to one of the newest comers to Atlantis and smiled.

"Dial it up Jake," she said simply to the man.

Jake nodded and quickly dialed the destination, "Be safe and good luck," Elizabeth called as she waved goodbye to them. Her three closest friends and the newest member of the Atlantis crew stepped through the event horizon, as always Sheppard and Rodney heading up the team, Ronan next, and Teyla in the back.

"Sure has changed," grinned Beckett from her side.

"Hm?" Elizabeth looked at him in question.

"It used to be Aiden and John in front, Rodney always went back. Then last year…at some point, Rodney began taking the lead with John."

"Those two have changed greatly," Elizabeth agreed softly.

"Yes, and in many good ways…well I should go, I've got wee Lauryn to watch today," Carson said smiling.

"Have fun," Elizabeth said grinning.

> > > >

If Rodney didn't know better he would have guessed they were on earth as they stepped through the other side of the worm hole. The place was beautiful, plush green grass, a homey dirt road, and beautiful huge trees standing several feet high.

"Nice place," grinned John as he watched the wormhole disengage.

"Think the people are as nice?" Ronan asked.

"Let's go find out," Sheppard suggested.

The four team members began the hike towards the town. Indeed many things had changed, John smiled as they were all silent; that was the biggest difference of all. McKay rarely complained anymore, he had found his place, although John was fairly sure a lot of McKay's new attitude had a little to do with the beautiful little baby that had come into their lives nearly three months ago. Rodney had gone from sarcastic scientist to loving father.

The small colony was roughly an hour's walk from the gate, as John figured it. It was a simple place, similar to that of Indians, with tee-pees, huts and campfires around everywhere. There could only possibly be about one hundred to a hundred and fifty people in the settlement. They were obviously not the most high tech group of people.

"Telon! Telon!" cried a young boy, perhaps in his mid teens as the boy ran across the settlement, where the largest tent stood in the middle of the surrounding tents.

A short man, perhaps no more than 5'6 or 5'7 stepped out, he had dark black hair, and tanned olive skin, his hair looked as greasy as his personality: Shiny and deceitful to hide the lice that lie beneath the surface. He was chubby, perhaps two hundred to two-fifty pounds, not by any means a whale of a man, but considerably over weight for a man of his stature.

"I am Telon, Welcome to Nirnee," the man greeted smiling an almost hospitable smile.

John wasn't convinced, but he didn't meet the eyes of his teammates, afraid that if he did the man would see his doubt, "howdy, I'm Colonel John Sheppard, this is Dr. Rodney McKay, Teyla Emmagan, and Major Specialist Ronan Dex. We're from Atlantis."

"City of the deep," there were several gasps through the crowd that had begun to form.

Rodney took a look around, finding something very suspicious about these people. He heard John mutter something about being peaceful explores when it hit him, there was no one under the age of twelve, and of these people he didn't see a single person older than him or John.

"You are a Doctor, of medicine?" Telon questioned Rodney.

Rodney turned towards the leader and shrugged, "uh, no of science, I study stars…" he explained obviously not helping his case.

"Come with me," the leader turned, Rodney looked at John who nodded.

"Ronan, you and Teyla…get to know our friends here," John quickly followed Rodney and Telon.

Telon led them to a building perhaps fifteen minutes from the settlement, the building was made of heavy wood, and not very secure looking, "many of our young children are being afflicted by terrible disease," explained the man.

"Uh, I don't treat…" Rodney was shoved inside, and took that as a point. John followed in behind him.

Rodney looked around, two or three cots filled each of four rooms, only six children occupied the rooms however, as Rodney stepped over to one he felt his stomach turn and begin to burn it's way up his throat. What the man called a disease couldn't possibly be any known disease; it looked like the children had been tortured.

The first child was a girl, with shoulder length blonde hair, she was beautiful, or had been before someone or something turned her into a bruised monster.

"I…I'd like….I'd like to get her back to my lab…run some tests," Rodney stuttered horrified by this poor girl, she couldn't possibly be older than nine or ten. As her big green eyes met Rodney's, he felt his heart go out to her, unlike any other person or child he had ever felt before.

"You can save her?" questioned Telon.

Rodney turned and looked at Telon and then at John, "I…I won't know until I run some tests," he replied as he knew Carson would reply. But like Carson would know, or even John, this little girl probably wouldn't even survive the trip home.

"Very well, you save her and we talk about trade," spoke the man.

"We'll do our best," John replied.

Rodney reached out and smoothed back the soft honey colored hair, "what's your name?" he asked gently so not to frighten the already terrified little girl.

"Katarina," she whimpered to him.

"Hi Katarina, my name is Rodney and this is my friend John, we're going to take you home with us and try to help you, but I think we need to talk okay?" the girl slowly nodded, "don't be afraid, I'm going to pick you up."

Moments later John and Rodney were making their way back to the camp, neither spoke a word to each other, afraid that if they opened their mouths they would vomit from the stench of chlorine, vomit, urine and defecation.

Ronan and Teyla saw them coming, John simply nodded towards them, and together they bid a goodbye to Telon, girl in arms and made their way back on the long trek to the gat.

"What the hell happened?" Ronan asked as they hiked toward the gate.

"Now isn't the time or place to talk," stated John as he watched the girl who slept soundly in Rodney's arms. The poor girl was covered in scraps, bruises, marks, cuts, bumps, and what John could only describe as small burns that probably had come from a cigarette or cigar.

"Dial up the gate Ronan," Rodney said as the girl in his arms began to grow limp and unresponsive. She had tensed with every step previously, but suddenly she wasn't moving anymore, and Rodney was beginning to fear the worst about the tiny child.

Dex ran ahead the last ten yards and rushed through dialing Atlantis, he punched in his GDO and quickly stepped through, Teyla and Rodney followed closely afterwards, John took a final glance around then stepped through the event horizon.

The small boy from earlier also took a quick look around, and followed the four Atlantians' through the gate, unsure what he was getting himself into.

Elizabeth had been speaking with Caldwell when the wormhole engaged and seconds later, Ronan, Teyla, Rodney and John appeared. A small girl was being held in Rodney's arms, and closely behind John stepped a little boy who was looking around wildly.

"I need a medical team now!" cried Rodney as he cradled the girl closer.

"Colonel, we had a stow away," Dex said suddenly as he rounded his teammates holding the twelve year old boy as the child squirmed and tried to cry out for help

"What the hell is going on here?" Caldwell asked as he ran down the stairs, as Elizabeth also descended the stairs, Carson Beckett came hurrying in with three members of his medical staff.

"Dear God," whispered Carson as he spotted the child Rodney was holding.

Rodney attempted to put her down on the litter they had brought from her, but instantly the girl began to fight. If she had been unresponsive before, she certainly wasn't now.

"Shh, it's all right, lass; no one here will hurt ya," Carson whispered gently.

"I'll bring her," Rodney stated.

"Bring the boy, Teyla," John demanded.

They were all quiet for the next several minutes, finally Rodney convinced the girl to allow Carson to hold her for a moment while he checked her out. Although her cries were weak, Rodney could feel them pulling at his heart strings. His mind wandered to Lauryn, what she might look like, what if had been her. He shook his head quickly and felt his brother's hand on his shoulder. The boy on the other hand had finally settled down enough to stand in Ronan's arms without throwing a good kick to the man's privates.

"I'd still like to know the answer to what the hell happened?" Steven demanded himself as he looked at his best team.

"I honestly don't know Colonel, we got there, spoke with Telon, the head of the colony for maybe five or ten minutes. I told him Rodney was Dr. McKay, and seconds later we were being led into some…"

"Death house," whispered Rodney as the images of the children filled his mind.

"What do you mean?" Elizabeth questioned.

"That little girl was one of about six or seven small children that looked like that, and I honestly don't think she was the worst." Stated John.

"She's my sister," came the boy's reply from where he now sat beside Ronan and Teyla.

"What's your name son?" John asked as he moved over to the boy and looked the boy in the blue eyes.

"Dominique."

"What happened to your sister Dominique?" Steven inquired gently.

"I do not know."

"I do," came Carson's gentle reply from the door.

"How is she?" Rodney stood up instantly and questioned.

"Teyla, why don't you take this little fella in to his sister, she could use the support now," Carson suggested.

"All right, come with me," Teyla led the boy in without an argument, realizing something was no doubt up.

"What's wrong Carson?" Elizabeth broke the silence once the boy was far enough away from her.

"Aside form the obvious injuries, this girl is lucky to be alive; she shows signs of physical, mental and perhaps sexual abuse, I couldn't put her through the tests for that. I was hoping she would tell me that in time. However I'm not sure we have much time with her."

"What do you mean?" Rodney questioned.

"It was almost as though she's been tortured and re-injured again and again. As I said it's amazing she's even alive. The chest x-rays and tests we ran…show an amazing amount of adrenaline in her blood, her lungs are bleeding…she's bleeding from the inside out. I haven't heard of symptoms like this since my med student days."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean someone's gassed her with hypochlorous and hydrochloric acid…" Carson stated.

"Wait a minute…you mean Chlorine Gas?" Rodney asked completely speechless.

Four stunned looks met his, and Teyla looked confused and perhaps a little lost, "Carson these people don't even look like they were caught up with the third world countries on Earth," bit John.

"My guess is they hid things, just like the men who used it as chemical warfare during WWI. Either way this girl has more than trace amounts of it in her system."

"How long does she have?"

"Two days, at most, and it's not going to be pleasant couple days."

"I've seen it," whispered John.

"So have I," replied Rodney.

"So now what, we can't just go back there and ask them about something like this?" John pointed out.

"You're not going back at all," stated Steven Caldwell.

"We have to Colonel, first off we have one of the boys, second off there are at least six children like this little girl that are dying, and deserve to die in less pain. There could be hundreds more dying at this very moment," Rodney said suddenly fighting for this.

"Explain," Elizabeth spoke in exasperation.

"I was looking at the people in the settlement, Elizabeth there is no one under that boy's age, and certainly no one older than me or John, and we're only thirty-six and thirty-seven. The oldest person there is Telon and he's probably forty."

"Are you saying these people are killing themselves with chemical warfare?"

"God I hope not, but, well frankly, I don't know, that's why we have to go back. We have to try and find out what the hell is going on, on this planet and help these people."

"No young girl would subject herself, nor could she; to the kind of torture she has survived."

"How did she even survive?" Caldwell questioned worriedly.

"It looks as though some…idiot who believes he's a doctor tried to fix her up, and did a spotty job at that," replied Carson.

"So what, we just wait till she dies and take her back to her planet?" Rodney growled in frustration.

"No, I want to keep her here, she's safe here, but I think you best find out what's happening to these children."

"We will, but first we probably should talk to Dominique, and the girl, is she up to it Carson?" John questioned.

"You're welcome to try, but don't go upsettin' her," Carson said as he led them back to the room where she was sitting on a hospital bed.

Dominique sat at the edge of his sister's bed, she looked terrible, ashen white, her lips a terrible purplish blue color, her breathing raspy. Every time she coughed she would hack up blood. It made Rodney wince, fighting the urge to rub his chest in pain.

"You can help my sister?" he asked as Carson, John and Rodney neared the bed.

"No lad, I can't. I'm sorry, both of you, but there's too much damage lass…you're dying."

She coughed harshly, allowing Teyla and Carson to help her, as she laid back she nodded, "I know…" she gasped out. Carson sighed and gently pressed the oxygen mask to her face.

"Dominique, buddy we need you to tell us how your sister got to be this ill…" Rodney spoke gently so not to frighten the girl or boy.

"I cannot," he said simply.

"Dominique, we really need you to tell us this information, if it's Telon you are afraid of you don't have to be…we can protect you."

"Perhaps you should take him to the conference room, I don't think the girl is up to many visitors right now," explained Carson.

"Okay Doc, update us if she changes," John said as he hefted the silent boy into his arms and headed into the conference room. It didn't take long before Teyla, Ronan, Elizabeth and Steven had joined the group.

"I cannot explain it," Dominique said with firmness and dignity.

"Please Dominique…" John began.

"Look Dom, your sister is dying, she isn't going to survive this and you know it. Now lots more people could and will die if you don't help us. We're not asking for you to give yourself up, we're asking that you help us save other's lives. Lives like your sister," Rodney growled harshly.

"Rodney…" Elizabeth's warning was gentle. However watching the boy, she knew Rodney's message had found its destination.

"It is truly an honor…"

"An honor…to di…."

"Rodney," this time it was Steven, with a much more menacing and barked tone, one that Rodney did not intend to fight against.

"As I said we consider it a great honor, to die for our god," spoke the boy.

"Why Dominique, why do you die, do you kill yourselves? Does Telon do it? Who dies?" Elizabeth questioned.

"We all must die, no one lives past forty but Telon…he says our god will smile upon us and give us the greatest of rewards for our sacrifices…."

"But why do you sacrifice Dominique, and why not everyone?"

"Only those younger than ten, and older than forty…"

"But why!" Rodney barked.

"Perfection…" it seemed almost spat out, and as every human ear heard that word they felt their stomachs drop, their hands grew sweaty, a swell in their throat.

"W…what do you mean perfect?" John asked quietly, praying the answer wouldn't come.

"Perfect, all of the same, we sacrifice those who are imperfect…" it was as though he were talking about the weather to a close friend. Like the answer should have been the most normal thing they had ever heard.

"What kind of imperfections?" whispered Rodney sickened to the core.

"Disease…"

"Hair…eye color?" Rodney spoke quietly.

"Yes, of course…"

"Who doesn't die?" John questioned.

"Blue eyes…dark brown hair…defective…people, diseased… impure…"

"Oh my God," whispered Elizabeth. She looked around at her people, Steven was rubbing his face with his hands. John looked sick, his eyes stuck on the corrupted child. Rodney looked positively green, ready to jump out of his chair and throw up. Ronan and Teyla looked neutral, and perhaps confused.

"How often…do the sacrifices occur?" questioned Steven quietly, almost inaudibly.

"One every week…" the boy spoke.

"Jake!" Steven called as he opened the door to the briefing room, "please take this young man back to the infirmary and have Carson get down here as soon as he can," Steve ordered as the young scientist moved over to him. Jake nodded and took the young boy by his hand.

All the remaining occupants were silent, trying to fathom how this could possibly be happening. "I…" Rodney shrugged.

"Yeah…that about sums it up," whispered John.

"I have missed something?" Teyla questioned.

"In the early nineteen hundreds there was a man named Adolf Hitler, he began quietly gathering his men, all the same blonde hair, blue eyes. He brain washed them into believing they were the perfect race, they were superior. Over several years he had his people collecting all the other people, at first people of the Jewish faith, then all faiths, and people with different sexual orientation, if he didn't like you, you generally died. These people were sent of to work or death camps, places similar to old prisons or military camps, the young healthy people would be worked until they were so weak they collapsed and died or managed to find away to escape. The older people or very young people were murdered. They were gassed, burned, tested, shot, starved, and dehydrated. Some managed to survive, but many just died," whispered John eyeing Teyla.

"And you believe this is what they have been doing?" Teyla speculated.

"Certainly sounds like that…my god, how do you stop someone like that?" Elizabeth whispered.

"Well some think Hitler poisoned himself…but I'm always up for a good bullet to the brain," John said harshly.

"John…we have to look at this…another way, we can't go in there with guns blazing, then they'll know we know….and that is a bad idea," Elizabeth reasoned.

"Carson?" John called as he and his brother walked into the infirmary. Carson looked up from the chart he had been looking at. He smiled, handing it off to the nurse next to him, he quickly gave her some instructions and then headed over to his friends.

"How's the girl?" Rodney inquired.

"I give her a day…at best. She's not doing very well, the damage to her lungs was far too severe."

"Carson…ah we sorta need you help," John began.

"Doin' what?"

"Well… uh, Elizabeth suggested the best way to stop the Nazi that decided to go about this exterminations….is to pretend like we're interested in working with them…"

"And why do you need me for something like that?"

"Well…see, for a couple things, is there anyway aside from oxygen that can protect us from breathing this stuff in?" Rodney asked.

"You won't like the answer I give ya," Carson answered simply.

"Oh…well that sounds just great…"

"Men back in the war would place cloths soaked in urine over their nose and mouths to keep from breathing it in," explained Carson.

"That's disgusting," Rodney murmured.

"It was war Rodney, there was nothing pretty about it, even you have to realize that by now."

"Sorry…" Rodney muttered in annoyance.

"You said you needed me for a couple things…what's the second?"

"Well…" Rodney said looking over at his brother.

"It was your idea," John shot back.

"You went along with it…"

"Just shut up and tell me," Carson barked looking at the two.

"They may not do business with us directly…and we're fairly sure they're not going to want to work with Teyla and Ronan…we need someone like you…."

"Like me?"

"Look you're the perfect description…their idea of the perfect race…."

"Excuse me?"

"You've got bleu eyes, and the dark hair…"

"You want me to help you fool this Telon man…by pretending we wish to rid Atlantis of the imperfect…people…I'm sorry boys, but I can't do it."

"Carson, we need you," John said.

"The answer is no, I can't pretend to be something I'm not, especially not this."

"Carson…." Rodney began.

"You've got blue eyes and dark hair…"

"Yes, as well as half a dozen allergies, hypoglycemia and sandy colored hair."

"My god Rodney, are you actually admitting your imperfections," John said grinning as he poked fun of his younger brother.

"I'm admitting that what you all take for perfect around here, they'll see as screwed up as that poor little girl. And the last thing I need to is die, in case you haven't noticed, I'm a father…"

"Yes we know Rodney," Carson rolled his eyes.

"The point is Carson, you could help us save dozens more of these kids, just like Katarina…" John hit all the right buttons, and he knew it. He watched as Carson's face go from stern and absolute, to teetering on the edge of giving in. "Like Lauryn," John knew it was a low blow the minute it was out of his mouth, words that caused each man to shiver involuntarily at the thought of this every happening to such a perfect little angel.

"Don't ever say that again," whispered Carson as he looked at John.

"I'm sorry…I shouldn't have said it in the first place," John agreed sadly, realizing he meant every word.

"Carson…" Teyla's voice startled the three men out of their own thoughts.

"Yes lass?"

"She's…she's weakened…" Teyla whispered. Immediately the three men hurried to behind the curtain. The girl was lying on the bed, tears falling from her face as she looked at Carson in the eyes. He closed his eyes in pain as he waited for the coughing to subside and the line to become flat.

It took what felt like hours to him, as he heard the line finally flatten out, he felt his stomach drop, he'd never felt so hopeless at the thought of loosing someone so young for such a stupid reason as she was imperfect. Carson opened his eyes and looked at her beautiful face, she had been so very perfect, so beautiful, so full of life.

"Do you think she believed in a god?" John asked softly as he and his three friends looked at the lifeless body.

"I hope so," came Rodney's even quieter response, "it only seems fair that she is safe and happy in someone's arms…and that she believed that before she died…otherwise she died without purpose."

"I'll help you," Carson murmured as he gently pulled the sheet over the young girls head and closed his eyes against another wave of nausea.

"We should go get ready…" Teyla replied softly as she gently squeezed Carson's hand.

His eyes remained on the blanketed body, reaching out he placed his hand on her forehead, "rest in peace young one, may whoever your god is hold and love you forever…we will stop this."

Telon opened his arms in a welcoming gesture as Rodney, John and Carson slowly greeted him with forced smiles. Carson looked around at the people, making several of the same observations Rodney had made, everyone between the ages of twelve and thirty or so, all of them had dark brown hair…except Telon who had greasy raven colored hair and green eyes. Ironic how the men who desired the perfect race…were never the same. Hitler had also had black hair and darker eyes, he had also been raised Jewish.

"Telon, this is my friend Doctor Carson Beckett, he's a medical doctor."

"What of Katarina?" Telon questioned, his voice almost sounding concerned.

"She didn't make it, I'm sorry," Carson said gently.

"It is well," the man replied.

"Uh…excuse me Telon…but where is everyone?"

"Bathing…" it put dread into their hearts at those words.

"When you say bathing?" Rodney began but felt his brother hit him hard in the side with his elbow.

"We're interested in doing business with you, my friends would like to take a look at the other children who are afflicted as Katarina was, if you would be willing to speak with me."

"That would be well, come, your Doctor McKay remembers where the hospital is…" John nodded to his friends.

It didn't take long to find the "bathing" house. It had yellowish smoke rising from it, "that's it," Carson stated.

"We're not going to just go in there…are we?"

"No, we'd have to be crazy, but we have to get those people out Rodney, take out the mask…"

The two friends pulled out their protection gears, gloves and their masks. Seconds later they entered what Telon had called the shower. For a moment the entire room was clouded with smoke, but after a moment it clears. Rodney felt his stomach drop and roll, bile began to rise in his throat.

Bodies…they were everywhere, young and old, all ages, all different types. And not a quick death, many were still coughing up blood, hacking and vomiting.

"This is…"

"Horrific," whispered Carson.

"What are you doing in here?" came a furious voice behind them.

"We've discussed this Telon…we want crops, not perfection…"

The door opened with a bang, John watched in horror as Carson and Rodney were tossed to the floor. Rodney rolled over and groaned as he looked up at John in contempt.

"We found them in the bathing house Telon," the two men spoke.

"Colonel…" began Telon.

"I'm sorry Telon…they…they must have mistaken it for the hospital, right boys," John said eyeing the two men.

"Aye…"

"Yes…well they shall not make such a mistake again. I'm sorry you are not the type of people we trade with Colonel."

"Why because we aren't perfect!" Rodney suddenly screamed as he jumped from the floor and dove at Telon.

"RODNEY!" screamed John, and that was when all hell broke loose...gun fire, screaming and yelling filled the air as John and Carson tried to grab Rodney.

"Everyone freeze!" yelled Ronan Dex as he stood there with his gun, Teyla on the opposite side of the small house, along with half the military on Atlantis.

"Good timing!" John gasped grinning.

"Rodney!" Carson dropped to Rodney's side and slowly rolled him over onto his back.

"How is he?" John asked as he knelt down by Carson's side. Rodney's eyes were shut tightly in pain, brow furrowed, his face pale, as he gripped his arm."

"He'll live," Carson said smiling.

"Let me make this clear, we're walking off this planet…and anyone who wants to come with us, if going as well…you won't come after us, you won't continue your purging." John said as he pulled out his gun and held it to Telon's face.

"You are a foolish man to believe anyone will follow you," Telon spoke.

"I think you'd be surprised, people don't like loosing their children to murderers like you, and they don't like dying horrific deaths. If you follow I will kill you with the very thing you use to rid yourself of the imperfect people."

"You may go," the man finally relented.

"Good, Carson, Teyla, help Rodney to the gate, Ronan get us a ten count, then head back to the gate, if they move…shoot them…and to kill," John said handing his gun over to Ronan, he then moved over to Rodney's side.

"How's the arm?" John asked as he, Teyla, Ronan, Elizabeth, Steven, Carson and Lauryn moved over to his bed.

"I'll live," Rodney replied, he grinned as Teyla easily sat the infant into his arms.

"So Carson says…well you'll be happy to know, that we've relocated the Nirnees to the mainland, they seemed to be satisfied with that for now. Several of the Athosian have offered to teach them how to create their own crops. We'll obviously peek in on them from time to time….but I think they'll be just fine."

"And you've told them they don't have to worry anymore?" Rodney asked.

"We explained to them there was no gate on the mainland and no way for Telon to get to them…some of them don't believe us, but it won't take long," John replied as he took a seat at the edge of the bed.

"It was very easy," spoke Teyla.

"I agree…perhaps a little too easy, but for now we should just thank our lucky stars you all survived it with nothing more than a bullet hole in the arm," Elizabeth spoke up smiling at Rodney.

"Yes well…no more bullet holes please, I have quite enough scars…." Rodney said smiling.

"So do we call this one a victory?" Carson asked.

"I don't think we've even started to win…let's just call it a step in the right direction," John answered as he gently tickled his niece's tummy.

TBC


	25. Three Strikes Your Out

Author's Note: Enjoy, please review!

Chapter Twenty-Five: Three Strikes You're Out

John was walking down the corridor, heading some place where he could be far away from his brother as possible. He was furious, Rodney had just put him in one hell of a spot. Rodney had done many dumb things in his life. However, Rodney had been right about one thing.

Never before had Rodney asked John to trust him, the trust had always just been there, an automatic stick up for his younger brother thing. John wasn't sure when that had suddenly changed. But today his brother had sounded so lost, so desperate for help. John was just as guilty for the accident as Rodney was, and that's why he was so damned angry at Rodney. John had known it was wrong and when begged by his own brother he had given into the plea and allowed himself to be conned into helping. He had stuck up for Rodney, and now his trust from Elizabeth was just as diminished if not a little more than Rodney's.

He felt his stomach turn at the sight of the very man he was trying to avoid. He quickly whirled around to head the other way, "John! Wait… I've been looking all over for you," Rodney said, seemingly oblivious to John's anger.

"I heard, what do you want Rodney," John said tersely as he crossed his arms over his chest in front of his brother.

"I suppose I deserve that. Look…I…I wanted to say I'm sorry, I was wrong…And I wanted to assure you….look I intend on not being right again…about everything anymore….effectively immediately….That was a joke," Rodney mumbled suddenly.

"Good one," he muttered as he headed towards the transporter.

"I've already apologized to Elizabeth ... and Radek ... and I thanked Colonel Caldwell for, uh, caring enough to spy on the experiment from orbit. I sent him a nice little email, actually. But I saved you 'til last 'cause, um, honestly, I would ... I would hate to think that recent events might have permanently dimmed your faith in my abilities, or your trust. At the very least, I hope I can earn that back….I would also hate to think that twenty years of friendship could be ruined…by this one event."

"That may take a while…let's face it McKay, you screwed up, and now I'm in just as much trouble for trusting your sorry ass as you are. Elizabeth trusted me enough to want me as her head military officer. You just blew up half a galaxy. I'd say right now you're going to be in deep trouble for a long time."

"I…" Rodney just shook his head.

"I have to go now, I've got people to speak to…you'd be smart to stay out of the way for awhile," mumbled John as he pressed the button and watched the doors close.

He felt his stomach roll, John had been silent the entire trip home, and Rodney knew exactly why, his brother was pissed, more than pissed: furious and no doubt trying to find ways of killing Rodney. Elizabeth would ream his ass, and Radek would no doubt hate him forever, and then that left John.

His brother, his best friend, Rodney had done many bad things in his life time, but for every bad thing he'd done, John had always been there to stand by his side. Until now, Rodney had done something unlike anything before, he'd gambled, gambled with trust, faith, assurance, and most of all his brother. He'd asked his brother to trust him, and naturally John had said yes. Rodney's ego had destroyed the relationship with possibly the only person left to trust him in the solar system.

Elizabeth's words had cut like a knife, hurt deeper than Rodney had ever expected. Radek's silence spoke volumes in its own, but it was John's words, his statement that it would take some time for Rodney to ever gain back his trust. It had been the most painful thing Rodney had ever heard.

He weakly made his way back to his room, closing the door behind him, Lauryn was with Carson for the time being; Rodney had no doubt the doctor would care for her fine.

Closing his door, he didn't both to turn on the lights as he slowly sank to the ground. Everything hitting him, every image, every man and woman he'd lost on this expedition, because of his own damned stupidity. The good people that had come and gone faster than the planet he'd just blown up.

He felt his eyes burning as the words his father had once said, ring more true today than they ever had before: _"Failure! Stupid little stubborn bastard! What good are you for, you fuck everything up!"_ Twenty years ago, Lauren had made Rodney believe his father was a bad man who drank away his pain and blamed his problems on his only son.

Today, Rodney began to see the dawning in his father's words, the truths that really sat there. Knees pulled up to his chest he felt himself leaning over until he came to rest against the wall between the closed door and his dresser. His face began to crumple at the thoughts, memories of his father, pain he'd endured before and the pain he was enduring now. How could he have come so far to only take a million steps back?

> > > >

John walked into the infirmary and smiled, there sat Carson; playing with Lauryn in his lap. "There's my favorite girl," John said grinning as he scooped the girl from Carson's arms and snuggled her close for a minute.

"Where's Rodney?" Carson questioned.

"I don't know," muttered John, leaving out the fact that at the moment he didn't care.

"I heard what happened…"

"So did the rest of Atlantis…"

"John…"

"Carson, spare me the words of wisdom okay, Rodney screwed up. And for the first time I have a real reason to be angry at him, furious would actually be better."

"Aye, ya may be right 'bout that, but he needs you now…"

"One thing Rodney has always made very clear, was that he didn't need anyone…"

"It's not true, John, I understand what he's done, and the trust he's violated, I'm not blind. But he's hurting just as much as you are, and Elizabeth…"

"Carson…"

"He needs to know someone still cares," Carson stated firmly.

"That's just it Carson, I don't," John finished quite clearly. Carson's blue eyes went cold.

"Well then you aren't the man I knew," Carson glared angrily, he lifted the infant from his friend's arms and stalked off. For every ounce of Carson that was pissed off at Rodney's mistake, he knew the man would still need someone there…someone to pick up the pieces when things finally fell apart, and Carson knew; things would fall apart.

> > > >

"Rodney," Teyla called softly as she rapped on the door to his room. She didn't want to open it, but at the same time, she knew Carson was correct. The doctor had come to her earlier, mentioning that she might go check on him.

Teyla had heard about the mistake, and felt troubled, she did not feel angry at Rodney or his actions. He had desired something, a power, a weapon to defeat quite possibly the most evil creatures here. Part of her would have wanted it to work just as badly.

She almost felt like she understood the scientist, which led her to want to help him only that much more. Reaching out she pressed the console for the door, it opened with a hiss, and that's when she saw him.

He was lying on his side, curled in a fetal position; it amazed her how even a strong man such as he…could have such weak points. She closed the door, not wishing to embarrass him further and reached out, her hand gently touching his back.

"Leave me alone," came his muffled cry as he tried to scoot from the hands touching him.

"It is only me Rodney," she whispered gently, reaching out she stroked his stubble covered cheek.

"No," he mumbled as he tried to pull away again, only succeeding in banging his head against the wall.

"Shh, come here," she reached out with her other hand and gently pulled him close. She could not feel anger towards him, or mistrust, because at the moment she was unsure if she would have reacted any differently than he had.

She pulled his head into her lap, gently crooning and caressing him as she sang a soft lullaby to him. Allowing him the chance he truly needed to get this out of his system.

"You shouldn't be here," he mumbled as he finally pulled away from her, cursing himself for being so damn weak.

"Perhaps not…but I am your friend."

"I don't have any friends," he replied.

"That is not true Rodney, certainly you must know that. This will pass."

"I don't know Teyla, I've really screwed up…"

"I am not angry at you," she whispered.

"You're not?" he questioned.

"This device…could have helped us to defeat the Wraith, protect my people. While they wouldn't want to risk anyone's life, they certainly would have benefited from this…I would have desired to learn more as well."

"My arrogance…however, seems to be the issue at hand here."

"We are all arrogant at times, perhaps Colonel Sheppard more than any of us. You made a mistake Rodney, however, it was just that, you must learn from it, get past it and do better another day. Trust people, believe in those you are working with."

"I'm not sure I can…"

"I know you can, you are a good man Rodney, a very good man who just needs a little help."

"Thank you Teyla…"

"It was my pleasure Doctor McKay," she smiled and squeezed his hand with that she stood and headed out of his room, leaving Rodney to his thoughts, he had done something terrible, and it would truly be a miracle if he ever gained back the trust of his friends, but at the same time he knew somewhere John and Elizabeth still cared for him as a friend.

TBC


	26. My Brother's Keeper

Author's Note: This is a continuation of the last chapter, I just didn't want to put them together. Please review and enjoy little bad language.  
Chapter Twenty-Six: My Brother's Keeper

Days passed, John played oblivious to the condition of his brother…everyone but Carson and Teyla had begun to turn a blind eye. No one was on his side, and things were getting rough for him. He had pulled into his shell, Carson remained with Lauryn in his care, but he feared and worried for his best friend. He was not the same man he had been before this catastrophe. Part of Carson knew that Rodney needed to learn a lesson from all of this, but this wasn't the way to do it.

He was quite, withdrawn, in ten days Carson had seen him turn away from everything he'd known, including Lauryn, Teyla and Carson. He had gone about his usual work, his egotistical ways gone, his screaming and yelling no more, he ignored everyone and everyone ignored him right back. What hurt the most however, was watching John avoid his younger brother.

Rodney was lost, and Carson knew if they didn't get him back soon, he'd probably never be coming back. It ceased to amaze Carson, at how he wasn't even related to either man, and yet here he was trying to help both men before they did something they would regret forever.

There was no doubt in Carson's mind that Rodney was regretting every moment of the past several weeks and the accident. However, Carson was afraid it probably wasn't because Rodney wanted to think about it, with everyone ignoring him or playing off his minor success people believed that he had finally figured out his place, leaving Rodney all the time in the world to think about what he'd done.

It was true, things hadn't run so smoothly on Atlantis ever as they were the days following the accident, but Rodney had never been so silent either, or withdrawn. It scared and worried Carson.

"Carson?" Teyla's voice snapped him from his thoughts.

"Aye, hello luv, what can I do for you?"

"It is Doctor McKay I'm very concerned about him."

"What's he gotten himself into?"

"He did not attend our session, and while he normally doesn't, he did not have an excuse this time."

"I haven't even seen him recently, and Lauryn isn't too happy about that either."

"Carson…is it normal to miss someone who drives you insane?" Teyla asked smiling sadly.

"Aye lass, quite normal…I'll go find him," Carson said as he lifted Lauryn into Teyla's arms. She easily took the burden and smiled.

Carson had to let out a breath of trepidation when he finally found Rodney after two hours of searching, however it didn't quail his fear when looked at Rodney slumped against the balcony edge.

"Rodney?" He saw the back turn rigid.

"Don't worry, I'm not about to jump if that's what you're worried about."

"I didn't think you were…are you all right?"

"Define all right," mumbled Rodney.

Carson sighed and came to stand beside his best friend, he was surprised by the man's appearance. Rodney looked pale, worn, his face long and drawn, exhaustion was etched under his eyes by the dark circles and bags which could easily be considered luggage.

"Does that haggard look come with the headache too?"

"Yeah," mumbled Rodney.

"Migraine?" Carson didn't need to ask, Rodney was susceptible to them when he didn't sleep or eat much, and from the looks he had done neither recently. "How bad?"

"Twelve," mumbled Rodney, knowing it was on a scale from one to ten."

"And you're out here because?"

"I had hoped the fresh air would help…I was wrong," he whispered. Carson felt his senses go up. Rodney wasn't one to admit he was wrong, and he certainly didn't admit pain when it was so bad.

For all the times Rodney complained and badgered Carson about illnesses and pain, Rodney was a tough as the rest of them if it was bad enough, he hated being sick and he hated admitting the problem almost just as much.

"Come on lad," whispered Carson as he gently led his best friend through the doors and back into Rodney's bedroom. "Lie down, and close your eyes."

"Leave me alone Carson," mumbled Rodney as he tried to roll away from his friend… friend, such an overrated word for people who constantly deserted him.

"I can't do that son…"

"Just leave me alone!" screamed Rodney, his scream suddenly turned into grimace as he squeezed his eyes closed against the nausea.

"When's the last time ya ate lad?"

Rodney remained silent, Carson reached out and brushed his hand against the scientist's warm forehead and sighed. Reaching out further he pulled the man's face towards him.

"I'm here Rodney," Carson said, as though that should be plenty for the scientist. Rodney searched the big blue eyes in front of him, if he believed the doctor he could get hurt again. He was tired of being ignored, of being forgotten.

"For how long?" he mumbled.

"Until you don't need a friend anymore…talk to me Rodney…"

"I'm a trend…one day he likes me another he doesn't. I'm his brother…"

"I know Rodney, John and I have already had several arguments about this…give it time lad, that's all you can do."

"I can't keep this up…"

"Keep what up?"

"I can't be his brother anymore…I can't stay here," he whispered.

"Whoa there laddie, what do you mean you can't stay here? Where else will ya go?"

"I spoke to Colonel Caldwell…he says he can take me home if I still wanna go."

"How long have you been thinking about this lad?"

"Few days…"

"Have you told Elizabeth or John this?"

"Should I?" he mumbled.

"Yes, and what about Lauryn?"

"She's better off with you or Teyla anyway."

"Damn it Rodney!" yelled Carson. "Ya made a mistake, we all know it, you screwed up, but ye ain't givin' up, ye've made mistakes before! Why does this one matter any more than all those other ones."

"It's not just that Carson…how can I stand here and pretend to be friends with people who…" he shrugged. "Nevermind, they've been doing it all my life anyway, why should Atlantis be any different."

"Rodney…" Carson looked at him, "you have to stay, because for everyone one who is angry at you right now, they'll realize it sooner or later, you're a good man. I can't let you do this Rodney, you've got nothing on earth, nothing compared to what you have here, we need you here. They don't see it right now, but we need you."

"Ca…"

"Rodney, stay please, for your daughter's sake. We all need you."

"Please, just leave me alone?"

"I can't do that son, and you know why…"

"Carson no one cares, they wouldn't miss me!"

"So what? What the hell do they know anyway, I'd miss you! Teyla would miss ya, Lauryn already misses you, Elizabeth would certainly come to her senses eventually, and believe it or not John loves you. Your all he has left in this life time, you are the only family he has left."

"I don't have any family left…"

"You've got me…"

"I'm starting to wish you really were my brother."

"I am Rodney, I have two brothers, a teenager one, and one a few months older than me, and you're him."

"I'll stay…at least for now."

"Good," Carson said smiling sadly.

It was amazing how quickly depression could set in, but for someone like Rodney, Carson had a sure feeling that the scientist had suffered from it years before. He watched the scientist withdraw from those around him. He watched as Rodney lost pound after pound. He watched the lines etched in his forehead.

What was worse, no one else but Carson and Teyla seemed to notice or care. Caldwell had left already; and Carson had the feeling Rodney was regretting his decision to stay on Atlantis. Carson was also fairly sure that the only thing Rodney still considered to be good in his life was Lauryn. Although she spent a good deal of time with Teyla now.

Rodney was so lost in his world, in a constant state of pain and fear. He was so caught up in the depression, and the thought that his brother didn't care anymore, that he couldn't see past the fog he had created, and no one cared to see in.

Teyla sighed, happy to see she had finally found him, he paused and smiled at her, "to what do I owe this little visit?" He said grinning as he removed his gloves.

"I have not seen you around much lately," she whispered simply.

"Well…you know hard at work, what's up?"

"I once knew a man…he lost his dearest friend…a brother in nearly every sense of the word. I watched this man begin to withdraw from everything, his life, his friends, his family…everything. I watched him fade away, a mere shell of the man he once was. When he finally died…some six months later, the healers said he died of a weak heart…but we all knew he really died of a broken heart."

"I'm not dying Teyla."

"No…perhaps not…but Rodney is. Slowly and painfully, just out of reach so no one else notices. We are losing him. We may have already lost him. John, I cannot condone what his recklessness, nor his mistakes. But I also do not condone your attitude towards him. He is your brother before he is a scientist, a doctor, an explorer or even a friend. Yet you seem lost on this fact. You have always supported him, he needs you…not Colonel Sheppard, not the solider; he needs his brother. You are no better than Rodney's true father if you continue to treat him like this. He will never make it back to earth at this rate."

"What do you mean?" John questioned suddenly.

"He packs as we speak, he feels unwelcome here."

John instantly turned from her and ran out of the room. He couldn't remember his legs ever carrying him so fast in his life as he suddenly smacked the panel on Rodney's door, opening it with a swoosh.

Blue eyes instantly turned to face him, and suddenly John understood what Teyla had said. He was gaunt, dark circles under his eyes, he looked terrible.

"Going somewhere?" John asked.

"Earth…"

"Wanna elaborate a little one that?"

"Not really…"

"Rodney stop for minute okay. What the hell are you really doing?" John asked, "you don't belong on earth, you belong here."

Rodney's laugh was full of bitterness and anger, "I don't belong anywhere. Nobody here wants me, not one on earth wants me. Maybe I should off myself and make everyone happy."

The words hit their mark, for both men. John stared into Rodney's eyes, praying for reassurance that he didn't mean it. But as he looked at the azure eyes he realized Rodney very well meant every word of that sentence. "Rodney…"

"What? Suddenly now you're so damned concerned! SO FUCKING WHAT?" Screamed Rodney, "why are you really here Colonel? To make a point, well good job you've made it."

"Rodney…"

"John, you've made it quite clear this friendship is over. It'll be much easier if I just leave."

"Rodney, come on, you can't be serious. Where the hell would you go? You're my friend…"

"Saying it won't make it true John," Rodney said sadly as he turned back to his clothes.

Suddenly John's arm shot out and he whirled his brother around to face him, "What do you want me to say? That I fucked up! Well fine Rodney! I FUCKED UP! But so did you!"

"Yeah, I thought you actually trusted me."

"You were out of hand, your decision may have killed hundreds of people!"

"It did kill! It killed one of my very own men! I have to live with that, just like every other death…do you realize how many we've lost. I'm not some poor heartless bastard!"

"I never said you did! Rodney, God Rodney…" John said suddenly as he slumped into the nearest chair, "when the hell did we get so way off track?" he mumbled.

"I don't know," whispered Rodney, although it was a lie, he knew exactly when they had gotten off track, he knew exactly when things had changed. It had been after Ford had disappeared, when John decided everyone needed to be kept at arms length.

"Rodney…sorry isn't gonna fix this…not for either one of us, but I really am sorry…because I also know you're really sorry…and I really do want to fix this. I kept everyone away as a friend to protect myself, I never realized how much I would be hurting anyone….I never thought…I was selfish, and for that I'm really sorry. Rodney, you cannot leave Atlantis, we need you around here. I'm not blind, this place runs so damn well because you truly understand everything. We'll fix this Rod, I promise."

"That's what they always say…"

"Rodney, I mean it…I honestly mean it, we will fix this…we're brothers not some strangers walking around here. Don't leave," it was a simple but firm request. Rodney looked into his brother's eyes, and saw what John truly meant, and what he really wanted.

"I'll stay," he whispered.

"Good…we've got a mission the day after tomorrow by the way."

"Great," mumbled Rodney smiling.

"We'll talk more later…"

"John," Rodney said suddenly before John walked out his door.

"Yeah?"

"I really am incredibly sorry…and I don't want to think that our friendship is over…that being your brother is over."

"Don't worry Rodney, we'll fix it, this all won't go away right now, but it will go away, I promise."


	27. Conversion

Author's note: I love this story, I really do. Things are going to have to slow down a bit since there are no epsiodes between now and January. I have a bunch of ideas but I may not be able to cover all the way until January. So let's just say for now that you'll get an update either every Monday or every other monday and leave it at that. Sorry folks but I'm writing as fast as I can with as many ideas as I can.

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Conversion

Carson and Rodney made their way through the forest, looking all around them. Carson looked over at his best friend to see his gun drawn looking ready for whatever it was he planned on fighting.

"You hear anything?" Rodney called slightly.

"No…"

"Huh…" he murmured .

Suddenly a Wraith dropped behind Carson, throwing the doctor aside Rodney turned to see his friend hit the ground and the Wraith come moving towards him. Unsure of what else to do, Rodney immediately began shooting, everything he had. Rodney gasped in pain as the Wraith pushed him to the ground. He began to scramble to get away. When suddenly Ellia appeared, she began to fight the Wraith, stunning Rodney and Carson both to silence. They watched in horror as she finally snapped the larger Wraith's neck. Rodney felt the bile form in his throat, as he tried to mek his way to his feet. However before he could think further, Ellia began to ascend upon him, moving closer.

"Easy! You went to all that trouble to save my life…it's a shame to kill me now?" He cried out.

He was stunned for just as she reached out to put her hand to his chest a shot rang out loud and clear through the forest. Rodney watched her whirl around the glare at a stunned Carson before leaping into the forest.

"Are you okay Rodney?" Carson asked as he hurried over to his friend. Carson could miss the telltale signs of Rodney beginning to hyperventilate. His hands began to brush over his chest, trying to see if he was really alive. Carson, unsure what else to do for his friend at this moment reached out and gently squeezed his arm, "it's okay Rodney, you're still here lad."

"I…he…she…reaching….what the hell was that?" He suddenly cried.

"The retrovirus is having the opposite effect from what we intended." Replied Carson.

"I guess _so_!" mumbled Rodney suddenly as he continued to probe his chest.

"Ah, God!" Carson replied as he looked back at his friend who was still pasty white and terrified. If he couldn't get Rodney to focus quickly, he would go into shock. "It's all right lad, you're going to be fine," Carson whispered again.

> > > >

"Dear God lad, what happened to you?" Carson asked no more than fifteen minutes later when John came over to him, his right arm covered in blood.

"I had a little run in with a Wraith…are you all right?" John asked suddenly.

"Aye…we'll be fine…"

"Rodney?" John asked watching his brother. Rodney seemed to still be in a trance he looked up at his brother, and John could see the fear in his brother's eyes. "How ya doin' buddy?"

"Uh…" Rodney couldn't speak he just shook his head.

"Let's go! I need to get them home now!" yelled Carson.

> > > >

"This really isn't necessary, Doc." John said as he was pushed back onto the gurney, Carson looked at his arm which was still covered in blood.

"Yes, it is. You've got a serious laceration on your arm and you've lost a good deal of blood," replied Carson.

"Yeah, enjoy the ride, Colonel. They're makin' me walk." Rodney shot back in return.

"You have a splinter, Rodney!" Carson returned.

"Yes, a very nasty, painful splinter," Rodney grumbled.

"You'll be fine lad, just sit still," Carson directed as he stripped off the field dressing. It looked disgusting, "this might hurt a wee bit…"

"OW!" screamed Rodney from his bed.

"I'm sure it will," mumbled John as he looked back at his brother.

"This doesn't sting?"

"No…" John replied in confusion.

"I know y'have a high threshold for pain, but this ... " Carson stopped at the sight of the arm, there wasn't a mark on his arm

"This is what?" John finished.

"Gone…" whispered Carson.

"What?"

"The feeding mark. It's completely healed…" Carson said as Rodney joined them on the otherside of the bed.

"Maybe the wound wasn't that bad," suggested John.

"Then where'd all the blood come from?" Carson inquired in confusion.

"I don't know, maybe it just looked a lot worse than it was…" John said again.

"I don't see evidence of any cut at all."

"That's weird, because it hurt like hell…" John explained.

"You're sure the skin was broken?"

"I'm pretty sure. There was a lot of blood! Maybe it was hers?" John spoke unsurely.

"It was definitely human….Wraith don't have blood, it's black remember?"

"I don't know. Maybe it was a nosebleed…" he was pulling at strings at this point, but he didn't care.

"Is that supposed to be a joke, Colonel?"

"Believe me, this isn't funny," John replied.

"Give me half a day to run your bloodwork and analyze it with the data we already have. We'll figure it out."

"And until then?" John asked.

"You're welcome to look over my shoulder." Joked Carson smiling at his friend.

"That's tempting, but ..." John shook his head smirking.

"Just go about your day…make sure your brother is okay…" Carson said smiling.

"The retrovirus isn't breaking down in his system like we hoped it would…" Beckett explained several hours later. He had been horrified by the sight of the scaly bump on his best friend's arm. He felt bad, but was now putting him through a series of tests.

"You're positive?" Elizabeth questioned.

"Yes. In fact, it's beginning to alter his DNA. If this is allowed to continue, he'll devolve into a creature similar to what Ellia became…"

"How long do we have?" Elizabeth asked looking over at him.

"I'm not sure exactly."

"Ballpark! Months, weeks?" Elizabeth said in a low but sharp voice.

"Days. We have days." He mumbled in return.

"Okay, what's the plan?"

"I've injected him with a viral inhibitor. It should slow down the retrovirus as far as his cognitive abilities are concerned, but I'm afraid that's it so far. We're exploring various treatments that may or may not be effective, so ..."

"No, Carson, we don't have any time to explore. C'mon, there's _gotta_ be something in the Ancient database that can help you find a treatment!"

"I know, Elizabeth. We're doin' our best!"

"I'm sorry, I know. Of course you are," Elizabeth replied sighing softly.

"Elizabeth…"

"I'll tell Sheppard if you go break it to Rodney…"

"How do I tell him this?" Carson asked sadly.

"Just talk to him Carson…"

"Right…" whispered Carson softly

He hated being here, having to have this conversation, it wouldn't be any easier than telling someone their loved one had just died. He knocked on the door.

Seconds later he heard the padding of feet and the door 'whooshed' open. Rodney stood clad in a pair of sweat pants and long sleeve shirt. Carson could easily guess the man was caring for his daughter.

"Carson…how's John?"

"He…uh…there's been some complications Rodney…"

"What kinda complications?"

"The…the retrovirus I created…got into his system…Rodney…"

"Carson just spit it out!" Rodney growled.

"I'm sorry…it just, it's altering his DNA…within days he'll look like the bug that attached itself to his neck…"

"WHAT?"

"I'm sorry Rodney…he's in the infirmary…."

"Will he die?"

"Does it matter? Rodney, he'll cease to be the John Sheppard we've known and love for a long time in a few days…I promise I'm doing my best…"

"I…" Rodney looked stunned, lost on what to say.

"I'm sorry…we felt you should know and that a friend should tell you…"

"Thanks…" mumbled Rodney.

"I put him in a medically-induced coma for now. I was afraid he might break through the restraints," Carson whispered.

"That's a good call, Doctor," Caldwell spoke. They all seemed oblivious to the single figure that stood at the other end of the infirmary, but Carson wasn't.

"So what now?" Elizabeth questioned.

Carson quickly shot Rodney a glance and continued, "the retrovirus has wreaked havoc on his system and it's taking over."

"What does that mean?" Elizabeth prodded.

"It means if we don't find a way to stop the retrovirus in the next twenty-four hours, what's left of the John Sheppard we know will be gone."

Elizabeth and Caldwell slipped out a few minutes later, still oblivious to the scientist. Rodney finally made himself known as he wandered over to the bed and looked down at his brother. Reaching out, perhaps in a little fear he gripped on of the scaly hands.

"Seems like we just got back on track," whispered Rodney.

"We'll get him through this lad," Carson said from behind his best friend.

"I know…It's just, one minute we're safe and comfortable with each other, and then the next minute something bad happens and we're back to either wanting to kill each other or fearing for the other person's life. It's getting old," whispered Rodney.

"He's my brother too Rodney," whispered Carson as he gently squeezed Rodney's shoulder.

They remained like that for a few minutes, Rodney trying to give strength for his brother to hold out, while Carson tried to give his surrogate brother strength to hang on to their hopes.

"I love you John…" whispered Rodney finally. Leaning down he pressed his forehead against John's now blue one and sighed, "you're the best brother I could have, thank you for saving me."

Rodney quietly slipped into the hospital room and smiled sadly at his sleeping brother. Two hazel green eyes turned to look over at him. John cracked a weak smile.

"How ya feeling?" Rodney asked.

"I feel like I was run over by a truck…are you okay?"

"I'm not the one who was turned into…sorry."

"About what?"

"Everything…" Rodney whispered.

"Rodney, you have got to stop this apologizing all the time, this wasn't your fault…none of it. I'm fine, and you seem to be okay too."

"John…you have to understand one thing…I don't care who I piss off, really out of everyone in this world I could care less how many people hate me…but you…"

"I do understand Rod…and no matter how hard you try you will never be able to get rid of me that easily. I was mad, I admit that, but you're still my brother…and I still love ya."

"So we're okay?" Rodney asked.

John grinned and stuck out his hand, he waited, before Rodney finally took it. The two held fast, "we're great little brother, and I'm sorry too pal."

Rodney grinned and nodded, "so…chess?" Rodney said pulling the out chess board and pieces behind him.

John chuckled softly, "sounds great, set 'em up partner!"

Carson stood back by the door to the isolation room and smiled softly as he watched the two brothers, it felt good, to see them together like this again, for once…for the first time in weeks things looked like they'd be back to normal again.


	28. Daddy's Little Girl

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Daddy's Little Girl…

It had been four weeks since the whole bug fiasco and Rodney was finding himself more willing to spend time with his brother. They were finally on good terms…granted all the bad terms weren't gone yet. John and Rodney weren't back to completely normal, but they were getting there. Lauryn was living with her daddy again, things finally seemed to be getting back to normal.

They were scheduled to go off world in less than ten minutes, and they were all suited up and ready to go. Elizabeth smiled as she looked at her friends, her eyes fell upon Rodney, giving him a slight nod she grinned, "you've got a go Colonel, be safe." With that they stepped through the wormhole.

They stepped through the other side and were stunned to find themselves right back on Atlantis. "FREEZE!" yelled several voices. The four friends did as told, rising their hands in the air. "Identify yourselves!" one very young voice commanded.

"I'm Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, Specialist Ronan Dex, Teyla Emmagan, and Doctor…"

"Rodney…" came a very familiar voice.

Rodney's head shot up to the balcony over looking the Stargate, to see Doctor Elizabeth Weir, but not the same one he had just left behind. She had dark brown hair…with bits of gray slipping into it, her hair was straighter and hanging just below her shoulders. Her eyes, however, were just as strong as ever.

"Elizabeth?" John Sheppard broke the silence first stunned.

"Lieutenant, if you could escort our visitors to the briefing room, and then page Beckett, McKay, and Sheppard and have them join me in the briefing room."

"Yes ma'am…" the boy spoke.

John, Teyla, Ronan, and Rodney sat around the tables in the briefing room, when Elizabeth, Carson and two young adults entered the room. Rodney felt his jaw drop at the sight of the two adults.

One was tall, probably six foot two, with dark brown hair and bright hazel eyes, it was like staring at his brother, only there was something very different about him. He seemed almost angry, and imposing.

The woman was beautiful, stunningly so, had long sandy blonde that fell just above her waist, her face was round and full, she had the most expressive looking blue eyes, full of brightness, but as Rodney really looked at her he could sense some sadness in her beautiful ocean orbs.

"What year is this?" Rodney questioned, his eyes still on the girl before him, which he had the rising suspicion was his daughter.

"2025…what year are you from?" Elizabeth returned.

"2005…" John answered.

"This is Doctor Carson Beckett…which I'm sure you knew, our leading Military Officer Major Jonathan Michael Sheppard, and our Chief Scientist Doctor Lauryn McKay…"

He had been right, his little Lauryn, she stood in front of him, her eyes on him as she studied him over: As though she was taking in every feature, every wrinkle, and every twinkle in his eye. He looked into her beautiful eyes and noticed the unshed tears as she looked at him.

"Uh…this may sound strange…but where's everyone else?" John questioned as he looked at the child he was sure he'd left back on earth with explicit instructions never to be told about his father.

"You've been dead…for nearly…"

"Lauryn…" came the warning tone from Elizabeth.

Rodney felt a grin as he heard his daughter's voice, so much confidence, so beautiful. His Lauryn didn't speak yet, she gurgled at best. Rodney suddenly couldn't wait for her to speak. To hear her every word, to get lost in the every day jabber of a small child.

"How did we get here?" Teyla inquired.

"It must have been the solar flares…they've been troubling us for days now…they cause a fluxion in the space time continuum…." Explained Lauryn as she looked over at Teyla; removing her eyes for the first time from her dad.

"Can you get us home?" John spoke this time.

"I believe so yes…" spoke Lauryn with conviction.

"Wait a minute Lauryn…" began Elizabeth, "it's not that we don't trust you…"

"I do…" Lauryn whispered as her eyes moved back to Rodney.

"Lauryn," Elizabeth spoke.

"Mum…" Rodney felt his heart jump into his throat at that single word. Elizabeth? When? How? Why?

"All right, but keep the information restricted, knowing McKay…he wouldn't want too much information being given…" Elizabeth finally relented, "Jonathan, if you could take them to the guest quarters…"

"Actually…I'd like to join you Lauryn…if you don't mind," Rodney said smiling at her.

"I'd love that," she replied.

Rodney was surprised to find Lauryn had taken over his former lab. What surprised him even further were the pictures decorating the four walls of the lab. Each at a various stage in her life.

"How did it happen?" Rodney asked as he moved over to one picture and smiled sadly.

It was a cute picture, Lauryn was probably seven or eight, sitting in his lap smiling, they both had their left arm in a sling. Lauryn's face was streaked with tear tracks, but a smile covered her beautiful face. John and Elizabeth stood on either side of him and Lauryn.

"Mum…never really told me much…just tidbits I gained over the past ten years…"

"Ten years?" Rodney whispered looking away from the picture.

"I was eleven years old…I was writing a report for you…you'd been teaching me science for a little over five years…Mum came in, trying to look composed and told me that you and Uncle John had died in action…" she looked down at the desk she was standing beside.

Rodney watched as she reached out and wiped a tear from her cheek. She was so strong even now…had he done that to her, had it been Elizabeth… "come here," he whispered.

Lauryn looked up in surprise, and suddenly he flew into her father's arms. Rodney grabbed her, holding her tight. It felt strange to hold someone who was so young in another world. This was his little girl, his only child, and probably the only one he would ever have.

"Mum, huh?" Rodney whispered as he gently caressed her hair.

"She was a mother figure most of my life…so it seemed so natural that she became my mother after your death, she legally adopted me a year after you died…"

"And Teyla?"

"Teyla died giving birth to her child…Carson says she died of a broken heart….she really missed Uncle John."

"And the child?"

"He lives with Jonathan…"

"Jonathan…as in Cheryl and John's son?"

"Yeah…he was about sixteen when Elizabeth and Carson went to his house and broke the news to Cheryl…he joined the Air Force two years later, found out about the Stargate Program…and the rest is history."

"Just like his dad?"

"No…he's bitter, very bitter about the death of his dad, and angry at his mother for hiding the truth all this time…"

"It was John's choice; he always thought Lisa and Johnny would be better off not knowing."

"Lisa probably was, she's married two kids, John and Rodney. But Johnny isn't, he never really was."

"I'm sorry to hear that…"

"Dad…" she whispered.

Rodney smiled softly as he pulled away and looked at his daughter, "it sounds so strange to hear you say that, you're only a year old back in 2005."

"I don't want you to leave…"

"Lauryn…" Rodney pulled out a stool and sat down in front of her, holding her hands tightly in his he smiled, "I can't stay here honey, and you know why…I've got a little Lauryn to raise…into a fine young woman."

"But you're going to die," she whimpered.

"One day I'll die…yes, but all parents die sweetheart, and I can guarantee you that I died thinking of you, and what a fine girl you were."

"Dad I need you…"

"I know honey, we'll do our best, but that's all I can promise you…"

"What if you weren't meant to die?"

"Lauryn…"

"No dad! What if you really weren't meant to die, what if you weren't meant to walk into the ambush…"

"You're crazy…just like your dad," Rodney said smiling.

"I can't lose you dad…not again."

"You won't lose me angel…I promise you…"

"Jonathan huh?" John said smiling.

"I joined the Air Force two years after you were killed."

"Rough job to do…"

"Someone had to do it…your son was already two years old…"

"Son?"

"Teyla and you had a son…his name is Tag…I've been raising him since he was two…"

"How old is he now?"

"About ten, he'll be ten in a few months…"

"You know…Jonathan…"

"Don't worry…" mumbled the boy.

John's arm shot out and he grabbed his son, "hold it right there, you may only be seven in my world, but you're still my kid…I'm sorry Johnny, I should have told you, something, I should have done anything, but it didn't seem right…I wouldn't feel right tearing you two away from a family where your happy."

"Dad…Lisa is happy…I always knew you were my dad, from the day you showed upon the door step…Lisa may have wanted to stay with them…but I didn't. I wanted to go with you, have amazing adventures."

"Son…Atlantis isn't exactly the greatest place for a little active boy like you."

"Look Colonel…Rob was never my father, we never even got a long. All my life he was comparing me to you…"

"Johnny…"

"If you give a damn about anything that will happen in the future, please come get me."

"Johnny, listening to me, I care very much about you, I always did. You are my son, I've always cared about you and I always will. From the moment I knew you were born."

Rodney stood outside on the balcony over looking the oceans. No matter how much time seemed to have change, and no matter what year he was in, Atlantis didn't seem to change at all.

"How ya doin'?" inquired John as he took a step out onto the balcony. He took in the stance of his brother and smiled softly, while Rodney didn't seem completely at peace at the moment, he seemed to be somewhat relaxed.

"Well knowing I'm dead is kinda of a downer," joked Rodney.

"I know what you mean…My son is quite the kid…"

"A lot like you?"

"Yeah…it's a little disturbing…he wants me to go get him when I get home."

"Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Wanna go get him?" Rodney asked.

"Rodney, he's my son, Lisa is my daughter, but they're also Cheryl's kids. I haven't been in their lives for nearly seven years…why would he want me in his life now."

"You are his father…every kid needs a good dad," explained Rodney.

John gazed over at his brother and smiled, "I know…Rod, listen, I know it's been a rough few weeks here and there and that you and I have had some pretty bad spots and such…well I guess what I mean is my faith in you is still there. I believe you're a good guy, I just think you make human errors."

"Thanks…" whispered Rodney.

"So, your daughter…she's pretty cute," grinned John.

"Watch it John," Rodney shot in return.

John chuckled as he bumped his shoulder against his brother's. "So, how do we get home?"

"There's another solar flare the day after tomorrow…Lauryn is fixing up the ratios right now, making sure it's on the other side of the sun…we should be home soon…"

"But?"

"But it's our future I'm worried about. We know we're going to die…"

"So how do we stop it?" John finished.

"Is it morally wrong to want to stop ourselves from dying?"

"Everyone has different morals Rodney…I don't think there's anything wrong with not wanting to die…how many times have we almost died…"

"Do you have any regrets?" Rodney's questioned caught John off guard.

"Aside from dying? I regret not getting to know my two kids better…not saying bye to mom and dad…losing touch with you for ten years…What about you? Any regrets Rod?"

"Living with my real father as long as I did…losing touch with you for ten years…not marrying Katie when I had the chance…hurting Elizabeth and losing her trust…shooting Ford…"

"I think Ford will forgive you in the end," John said softly.

"I'm hoping he won't even remember it."

"I don't think Elizabeth hates you Rod, I think she's just disappointed."

"That's like saying mom is disappointed, I seem to remember we hated disappointing mom because she always had that look," chuckled Rodney.

"Ooh, that look, the one that said I'm-disappointed-in-what-you've-done-because-you-know-better look….Yeah I think all women have that look," grinned John.

"Elizabeth certainly does…."

"Are you kidding me, so does Teyla, good grief have you seen some of the stares she can shoot you," chuckled John.

"I've definitely noticed," grinned Rodney. "I wanna go home John…" came the small whisper.

"We'll get home Rod," whispered John, "I promise…"

Morning dawned on the future Atlantis, John smiled as he stepped out onto the balcony for the second time in twelve hours, this time he held a cup of coffee in his hand. "Your father comes out here all the time," John said grinning as he walked over to his niece and handed her a full cup of coffee.

"I know…I remember many nights finding him out here thinking…sometimes alone, sometimes with you, Carson or Elizabeth," she said smiling. "Mum…Elizabeth, always says I'm so much like him."

"You certainly act like him…from what I've seen…"

"I…I really miss him…you and dad grew up with your parents most of your lives…I've spent ten years without my father…and I miss him everyday that I wake up and every night that I fall asleep."

"Lauryn, he wouldn't want you to be sad, or to miss him…he'd want you to be happy…I miss my parents all the time too, but it gets easier."

"It never did with dad…"

"Maybe because you didn't get a good chance to say goodbye…that's how it was with our father…"

"Dad never spoke of his father…was he a bad man?"

"Rodney's real father…was a very bad man…" John paused, "What were we like…before…you know?"

"Funny…I always enjoyed being with you guys…dad loved you…so deeply…and I always knew you loved him back. It was his forty-second birthday…the day before he died, and boy you threw a party for him…it's amazing he even got out of bed…he was a wee bit drunk," grinned Lauryn.

"Me…that was all Zelenka," chuckled John.

"Uncle Carson was great too…he would always watch me and teach me things about medicine and science…"

"Sounds like you've had a pretty good life…"

"I think I have…I love you all so much…it was a very hard, on everyone, when you guys died."

"I'm proud of you…I know it sounds weird, I've really only known for a day…but I'm very proud, you've become quite a woman with both help from Elizabeth and your father. I know he'd be just as proud of you right now."

"I've found a way to get you home," she whispered, "tomorrow around eleven you'll walk through the gate and should get home."

"That's good…"

"Yeah…maybe, but I'll still be without dad, Johnny and Tag will still be without you."

"Yeah…but we'll see what we can do about that," John reached around and put an arm over her shoulders, pressing a kiss to her temple.

The day flew by all too fast for the Atlantis team; by ten forty-five the next morning, they were standing in the gate room waiting. The various members of Atlantis were talking to the four team members. Johnny stood in front of his father and smiled softly for a minute. He stuck his hand out to shake his father's hand.

John looked at it and bypassed it all together, grabbing the kid into a strong embrace, "you may have been a handful, but you're a fine young man. Take care of Tag for me."

"I will, and dad…don't stay away…"

"I won't."

Elizabeth smiled softly watching the two and turned to look at Rodney for a moment, "you're going to make so many more mistakes that will put us against one another…just remember that no matter how much I yell or get angry…that you're my friend too," Elizabeth said as she reached out and hugged Rodney.

Smiling he hugged her tightly around the waist, "I'll have to remember to give my Elizabeth a big hug when I get back home…and thank you for watching over my little girl."

"She's my little girl too," Elizabeth said smiling.

Rodney chuckled as she big Teyla, Ronan, and John goodbyes.

"Daddy," Lauryn looked at her father.

Smiling Rodney reached out and gently wiped the tears from her cheeks, "hey, I know I taught my little girl to be strong…I am a genius after all. Don't you forget how much I love you," he said as he pushed the hair from her face.

Elizabeth looked at John again and grinned, "he's going to get very drunk on the night of his birthday…you two aren't really going to feel up to the mission…no matter how angry I may be…don't go on that mission. I don't care what it changes or if it changes anything…but just use your head and say no."

"I will," John said smiling at her.

"It's time to go Atlantis team," called Carson from up at the top of the overlook.

"Good luck!" called Lauryn as her father and uncle looked back quickly before turning to leave.

Carson joined Elizabeth, Johnny, and Lauryn at the bottom of the stairs, watching as their friends stepped into the wormhole and hopefully back into their own time.

"Honey we're home!" called John as he stepped back into his own time.

"What happened?" Elizabeth asked in confusion as she hurried down the stairs.

"What do you mean?" John asked.

"You've only been gone twenty minutes," Elizabeth returned.

"Well…let's just say we decided there wasn't much that needed to be done," Rodney said smiling over at his brother.

"Should I even ask?"

"Probably not…so, coffee anyone?" John said grinning as he slapped his brother on the shoulder and they headed off down the corridor.


	29. Memories of Yesterday

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Memories of Yesterday

"Give me a full blood count! I need a CT, MRI, and X-ray," called Carson as he ran beside the gurney.

"He's crashing!" called another doctor.

"Damn it Rodney!" yelled Carson as he jumped on top of his friend, beginning chest compressions swiftly.

"Still nothing," they busted through the doors of the infirmary nearly knocking people out of their way.

Elizabeth, Caldwell, Sheppard, Teyla and Ronan were hot on their trail as their friend was hauled off. John looked positively white as he watched Carson continue to try and resuscitate his little brother.

_"Roddy!" called a beautiful voice, two big ocean blue eyes looked up and smiled at the beautiful red haired woman. "There's my little man," Gina McKay swung the four year old boy up into her strong arms and pressed a kiss to his cheek._

_"Mama!" he cheered as he sat against her hip._

_"What have you been doing?" she asked as she looked around the room, unfortunately for Rodney, he was a curious little boy and tended to get into things he shouldn't. Gina sighed, their toaster lay all over the floor in pieces. It was beyond her how such a small child could be so smart and yet so obstinate when it came to listening to his daddy._

_"Fix toaster!" he said smiling._

_"Roddy, we've discussed this, remember. Daddy doesn't like you fixing thing that aren't broken," scolded Gina as she shook her head. She would have to do some major arguing to get her little boy out of this one._

_"Mama mad?" Rodney's lower lip began to tremble._

_"Rodney…it's not me you should worry about," Gina whispered as she carried her way ward child down the stairs. Rodney was her son, and she loved him, even though Ronald blamed everything on the little boy, he was still their child._

_She knew there was nothing she could do this time, Rodney had brought this upon himself, he wasn't supposed to do this sort of stuff, but he did it anyway. Rodney would get the spanking he deserved._

_Screams echoed through the house that night as Ronnie McKay smacked the youngest McKay around, "quit crying you little bastard!" screamed Ronnie._

_These words didn't help the small child as he curled himself further into a corner and sobbed as his father finally turned away and left the boy alone. Gina McKay knew better than to intervene, she had no desire to meet the harsh end of her husband's hand. _

_Rodney looked over at his mother through his swollen and red eyes, "momma!" he sobbed for her as he reached out._

_"No Rodney," she whispered, "not this time."_

_He continued to cry, and cry until his voice became horse and tired, he remained in his little corner the rest of the night until his sister Jeannie came and pulled him out of the corner. "Rodney, stop," Jeannie said shaking him until the tears finally stopped. "Stop making daddy so mad," she whispered harshly._

_But he was a child, he couldn't understand, he couldn't understand why his parents just left things around to be played with then hit him when he played with them like any child._

_The small boy sat in his room the rest of the night, crying out of pity for himself. Wishing that he had someone who really loved him; his big blue eyes opened on the sky and he placed his hand against the window, "gawd…hewp me," whimpered the child in a weak voice. _

_He had heard his mama pray to someone named gawd…perhaps this person would save him as well if he prayed like she did…._

"We've done all we can," Carson explained as he looked at John and Elizabeth.

"And?" John questioned.

"He's in a coma…the rest is up to him now, he's got severe brain hemorrhaging, until the swelling comes down…he won't be waking up. We've got him heavily sedated in hopes that the swelling can be reduced."

"What are his chances?" Elizabeth inquired as she looked down at the still form.

"If it were any other person…I'd put my bets against them…maybe give them twenty-four hours before the rest of the body begins to shut down…but knowing Rodney; we'll just have to wait and see."

"Thank you Carson," Elizabeth said squeezing her friend's hand.

"Can we sit with him?" John asked softly as he looked at his brother.

"Of course…"

_Rodney and Jeannie sat in the kitchen looking at their mother and father. Gina McKay looked distraught and Ronald just looked angry, "guys…I have cancer," whispered their mother._

_"Are you going to die?" whimpered Gina._

_"Well…the doctors are going to do all they can honey," Gina said gently smiling softly at her sixteen year old daughter. _

_Seven year old Rodney McKay sat in his chair with a confused look on his face, he had heard of cancer…read it in a book somewhere, but why did his daddy look so mad, and why had mommy been crying._

_"We could have some ice cream mommy! Ice cream always makes you feel better when you're sick!" the seven year old cried suddenly smiling._

_"You're such a jerk!" yelled Jeannie as she ran from the room crying. _

_"Rodney…" Gina began._

_"Don't try and explain it to the sorry little whelp. If he ain't smart enough to get it by himself then he don't deserve to know," growled Ronnie McKay._

_Rodney's blue eyes grew cold as he looked over at his father, "I'm not a whelp! And I'm not wittle!" cried Rodney._

_"Don't back talk me child!" yelled Ronnie as be back handed his youngest child in anger._

_Rodney's head flew to the left as tears began to form in his eyes, he turned back and looked at his father in heated anger. He was about to bite out another retort when his mother stepped in._

_"Rodney go to your room sweetheart," she said gently._

_"What did I do?" he cried._

_"Ask it again stupid little bastard!" dared his father._

_With another vicious glare that only earned him a strong spank to his bottom Rodney ran as fast as he could up the steep stairs to his room. His sister's bedroom was closed. Reaching out he lightly knocked on the door._

_"What the hell do you want?" she griped at him as she swung the door open. She hated having him for a brother he was so damn young, so stupid. Why couldn't her parents stop at one._

_"What's wrong wif momma?"_

_"She's gonna die you dumbass!" bit Jeannie as she slammed the door in his face._

_Rodney remained rooted in his spot, confusion and fear written all over his now beat red face. He wouldn't cry, his father had taught him many things, and one of them had been big boys don't cry._

_"Momma's gonna die?" he whispered to himself in fear and sadness. His momma, his link to the real world._

"John, are you okay?" Elizabeth asked suddenly sitting down beside her second in command.

John smiled crookedly from where he sat beside his brother and best fried. Holding the younger man's hand, "I was eleven when he was dropped off on our doorstep…he was this scrawny nine year old kid, I mean I was lanky…already fairly tall, but Rodney was short and skinny…I mean deprived skinny…but he was so damn smart. By the first or second night he was questioning our mom's motives on taking him in…Our mom didn't even have motives, she never thought like that…"

"She sounds like a wonderful woman…"

"She was amazing…I guess I was lucky, I spent eleven years with just her as my mother…ubt at the same time I left when I was eighteen and Rodney had her for a good few more years during college."

"I think she did a fine job of raising two amazing men."

"She was the most amazing patient person…always spending time with me or Rodney, trying to teach us stuff."

"He's going to be fine John…Rodney's tough," Elizabeth said smiling as she grasped his other hand.

_His mother was dead…she was gone forever, never another loving touch, another protective touch…_

_"Look Roddy, I'm sorry," whispered Jeannie as she looked into those big blue eyes._

_"Why are you doing this?" whimpered Rodney as he sat on the edge of her bed. _

_"Rodney, I don't have a choice, look at me," she gently grabbed his chin and swiveled it to look around at her. "I promise you I will come back for you someday okay…when I can afford to come get you I will."_

_"Daddy doesn't like me," whispered the eight year old boy._

_"Daddy isn't going to like me much longer either…Roddy, listen to me, no matter how much we've been through and how much you may hate me at times…I'm your sister, and if you ever need me I'm here to help." She gently ran a hand through the back of his silky hair._

_"Daddy isn't going to be happy," whimpered Rodney._

_Jeannie sighed, lifting the eight year old from under the arms she pulled him close. He leaned against his head against her shoulder. She bit her lip to keep from crying as she gently rubbed his back in slow soft circles._

_"Take care of yourself, and stay out of his way. Don't give him any reason to hurt you or get angry with your Rodney…"_

_"You love me?" Rodney questioned against her shoulder, his words mumbled by her shoulder._

_"Yes Rodney, I love you so much, I always have. Take care okay," she placed him back down on the bed and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Goodbye Rodney." Standing up she grabbed her bag and turned, leaving her little brother behind in the bedroom. _

_That night Jeannie walked out, never leaving a note for her father, never telling anyone where she was going. Rodney knew as he watched her climb in her boyfriend's car that he would never see her again._

_"Dad!" called Rodney, he'd been kept at school late for detention…his dad would be so pissed when he found out that Rodney had been back talking to the teachers again._

_"Dad?" Rodney called, the house was silent, this wasn't unusual for their house, on good days Ronnie McKay was out working. On bad days he was drinking and screaming at his young son._

_"Dad?" yelled one more time as he headed upstairs to the bedrooms and bathrooms._

_The three bedrooms were empty, Rodney made his way through the master bedroom. And there is where Rodney found his answer. Sprawled out on the floor was his father, his lips a blue tinge, his eyes open and wide with pain. His chest frozen in death; Rodney's eyes grew wide in fear. The rational side of Rodney McKay instantly kicked in, for there was no other functioning side. He calmly moved over to the telephone and picked it up._

_"My name is Rodney Michael McKay…I came home from school and found my father on the bathroom floor…no this isn't some prank phone call, my dad isn't breathing…" _

_He hung up the phone as calmly as he picked it up, however as he looked back into the bathroom he lost all sense of calm that was in him. His stomach burned with fear and sadness, his eyes beginning to water at the sight of his dead father on the bathroom floor. He suddenly ran as fast as his little legs could carrying him. He stopped at the porch, feeling he was far enough away and collapsed on the front porch where he began to sob._

Four days had passed, four days since Rodney had fallen from the ledge, four days since he had hit his head and been knocked into a coma. It had been four days of sitting by his brother's side. Occasionally Ronan and Teyla had come in to sit with him. Elizabeth had sat with him many times, keeping them company, just talking.

Everything seemed to run on automatic for the Atlantis crew, even Lorne was quieter than usual. John couldn't quite figure out what it was about this man that caused everyone to hate him one minute, and rely on him the next minute.

"Listen Rod, I know we've had our problems recently and all, but…ahhh, jeeze you gotta wake up…I keep thinkin' about all the crap we've been through, this was a stupid accident. You're not supposed to die like that Rod…not like this…you're not even the one whose supposed to die first. I'm her hero here, I should be the one to go first." John murmured.

He'd always thought he would be the first to go, from the moment he fell off the roof all those years ago. John sighed and reached out and gently brushed the hair away from his brother's forehead. "Stupid little punk, just gotta be first to do everything don't you. Come on Rod, wake up."

_Rodney stood up on the roof, looking down all around him in fear, he was terrified. His dad had always told him not to be afraid of heights, but that wasn't doing anything for him right now. _

_He jumped and whirled around when a hand touched his shoulder. He heard and saw his brother cry out in fear. He watched in horror as his brother flailed his arms backwards trying to catch his balance as he suddenly fell backwards._

_"JOHN!" cried Rodney as he reached out to grab the front of his brother's shirt._

_"Shit!" yelled John as he fell off the edge of the roof. He landed on the ground with a sickening thud._

_"JOHN!" Rodney screamed as he scrambled down the ladder to the ground by the side of his brother. _

_John's tear filled hazel eyes looked over at him in confusion. "are you all right?"_

_"I…ah…ow," whimpered John._

_"MOM!" cried Rodney as he ran back into the house, "mom!"_

_It was chaos for the next twenty minutes while they waited for the ambulance to come. John broke his leg from the fall. "I am so sorry," Rodney repeated for the umpteenth time since they had gotten into the car._

_"Rodney shut up! I'm fine, it's just a broken leg," John hissed growling at him._

_"I'm sorry! I really am…" the thirteen year old groveled._

_"Rodney, drop it…" John winced at his choice of words, "I'm fine, it was a clean break, it's not like you meant to throw me off the roof. No harm no foul, we'll survive."_

_"John I…"_

_"Rodney, drop it okay," John said one final time. He knew his parents were smiling. They weren't any more angry at Rodney than he was, because it was indeed an accident. _

_"Okay," mumbled Rodney. _

_Grinning John reached out and pulled his younger adopted brother close, hugging him as tightly as he could, "I love ya geek," John said grinning._

_"Love you too jock."_

_It was a relationship that normally never would have been, two friends who normally would never get together, but these two had. They were the best of friends. Lauren smiled as she looked back at the two of them, knowing they were meant to be brothers. No matter how long the road, they would always be the best of friends._

_Rodney smiled softly as he slowly pushed the door open to the small room. Two sullen blue eyes looked up at him, "there's my little boy," she said weakly from the bed._

_"Hey mom," Rodney said as he gently sank to the bed at her side. He gently gripped her frail hand in his and smiled._

_"The doctors say I'm dying," she whispered softly._

_"Yeah...I don't know if this is much…but thank you mom, for taking me in and caring for me."_

_"Oh my little Rodney…it is you who saved us child…you were such a wonderful little boy, so full of love and passion. I'm so very proud of you," she sad gently._

_"I…I got accepted into the NASA program mom…I'm going into outer space," he said smiling._

_"I heard…your father told me, make sure you take a look for me," she said gently as she weakly cupped his chin._

_"I will mom, I promise," he bent down gently, pressing a kiss to her forehead; like she had done so many times before._

_"You're going to be a hero one day my child, a hero among men, someone others will look to for help."_

_"I promise I will make you proud."_

_"You already have son, you've made both your mom's proud of you, for having done a wonderful job and overcoming everything. You survived and now look at the man you've become."_

_He sat in a small office off the side of the lab, he wasn't paying attention, far to focused on the information in front of him to hear the 'click' of high heels against the vinyl flooring._

_"Doctor Rodney McKay?" the voice asked. _

_Elizabeth stood in front of Rodney, waiting for him to say something, or at least raise his head to look at her. She took the moment to asses the man she was about to ask for help. He was a little overweight, probably from sitting behind the desk all the time, he was probably about 5'9 or a little taller, he had brown hair and she had yet to see his eyes._

_"Doctor Rodney McKay?" She needn't ask but repeated again, he didn't even look at her, his face still on the paper on the desk before him._

_"He's busy, leave a message and perhaps he'll pretend to give a damn later," he replied sarcastically. _

_She could see he was just as arrogant as Samantha had suggested._

_"My name is Doctor Elizabeth Weir…" _

_"You're thirty-four you have a bachelors in science, a master's degree in physics, chemistry. You also have a PhD in Political Science and public Service. You're single, seeing someone currently however, and you were placed in charge of the Ancient Outpost, you were in charge of the Stargate Program temporarily before Colonel Jack became Brigadier General O'Neill…yes Doctor, I know all about you, now what do you want?" She felt her anger rising to the surface, taking a deep breath she looked at him._

_"You are currently, aside from Lieutenant Colonel Carter the only other person who is well educated in the Stargate Program." He looked up at her and smirked._

_"Her theories are all wrong," he stated matter-of-factly with arrogance lacing his voice._

_"Nonetheless Doctor, I am in need of your…expertise. Now this isn't going to be a simple miss…"_

_"Look doctor save your explanations of possible death and destruction, I've heard them all and none sound as appealing as the one for."_

_"You would be the head of the..." once again he interrupted her._

_"I would be answer to you," he looked up at her and paused, smiling, "fine you have me." She was stunned, surprised to say the least._

_"Um…"_

_"Under one condition, I have complete access to all ancient technology," he stated._

_"You are…"_

_"Arrogant…selfish…rude? Yes well I'm also a genius, and the only one that knows what you need."_

_"Fine, we meet in…"_

_"Antarctica in four days, no worries Doc, I'll be there with bells on, you just make sure you are," with that he looked back down at the papers, "I'm sorry doctor Weir was it? I have a lot to get done in a week. Did you need anything else?" She just stared at him, her face turning red in anger and frustration. With that she turned around and walked out._

_"Rodney…"_

"Rodney…" the voice broke through the haze of memories. The azure blue eyes slowly fluttered open.

"Welcome back to the land of living," John spoke from Rodney's right.

Moving his tired eyes he looked over to see Elizabeth and Carson at his other side, "'m alive," he mumbled.

"Yes Rodney, alive and you're going to be just fine," Carson said smiling.

"Good," he replied as he slowly allowed his eyes to slide closed again.

"Rest Rodney, we'll talk later," John said grinning at Carson.


	30. Aboard the Aurora

Author'sNote: Just brief shots, I felt that this epsiode would have been very similar, watching Aurora was like watching their friendship during the first season. It was an excellent epsiode and I didn't want to take away from that, so for the most part I left it for how it was. I have the next three chapters written and working on the fourth, so you won't have to wait for the second half of Season two, you'll still get to read this story.

Chapter Thirty: On the Aurora

John, Teyla and Ronan watched Rodney as he read off his computer and several other mechanisms.

"You sure this is such a good idea?" John questioned.

"What's the matter, Colonel? Don't trust me?" Rodney said looking up at his brother.

"No." It was a simple word, but John knew it had sliced through his younger brother's heart.

"Fine!"

"You're proposing actually freezing yourself in one of those things?" Came Caldwell's voice over the raido.

"I should be able to tap into the neural network without actually initializing stasis. Look, it won't take long. I'll be in and out. Look, the quickest way to figure out what is going on in there is to tap into the system and communicate directly with the Captain. Need I remind you of the obvious value in this?"

"But is it safe?" Teyla questioned, no matter how much Rodney McKay annoyed her at times, she cared about him.

"Would I be volunteering to go if it wasn't?" Both John and Teyla shook their heads, they knew the truth. Rodney was many things, including brave when he really wanted to be, but right now was not going to be one of those times. If Rodney was willing to go…it couldn't be dangerous.

"No." Ronan voiced.

"Which is exactly what makes it safe enough for me to go." Sheppard wasn't sure where this had come from, but suddenly he didn't want his brother going in there and everyone here being unable to help him. He had come too close to losing Rodney too many times.

"What?"

"Better to have you on the outside in case something goes wrong."

"It won't!"

"But if it does ..."

"It won't! How many times do I have to say this!"

John could see the hurt in his brother's eyes, he opened his mouth, but Teyla beat him to the punch, "Rodney. Between the two of you, if something were to go wrong, which would be the greater loss?"

"Hey…" Sheppard piped up.

"Well, I've never thought of it that way but ..." Rodney said pausing; he looked over at his brother, "she's right. You should go."

> > > >

"I'm goin' in," murmured Rodney as he headed off to the empty pod at his brother's side, Ronan and Teyla right behind him. "Look, stall Caldwell, buy me some time, just a few minutes at the most."

"What if you are unable to disconnect?" Teyla questioned.

"Caldwell's gonna blow that ship whether you're in there or not." Ronan spoke.

"You see, the thing is, Colonel Sheppard and I have sort of gotten into this habit of saving each other's lives, and it's my turn….he's my brother…" he looked at them, he could see understanding in Teyla's eyes, perhaps not just yet in Ronan's, but the man was new, he'd eventually figure it out. "It could be your turn next." He said to Ronan, he quickly turned back to Teyla and handed her a small device, "Look, hit this to manually disconnect me. If I do not regain consciousness, go ahead and open Colonel Sheppard's pod. Have us beamed directly to Daedalus, and make sure they have a medical team waiting."

"Are you sure you wanna do this?"

"I'm sure I don't! But…" he paused and shook his head.

"Rodney?"

"He's my brother…he's saved me a lot…he still doesn't trust me…"

"He does…"

"Okay. Alright," he mumbled as he quickly got into the pod and looked around, "There's more than enough air in there. Right. Course there is. Crew's been sealed inside these things for thousands of years."

"Are you alright?" Ronan asked watching the scientist, he had seen very little out of this man yet that could be described as praise worthy.

"Yeah, it's just my claustrophobia. I'll be fine – I hope. Now – the system should engage once you send me in."

"Alright." Teyla replied smiling softly at her friend.

"Right. So, send me in?"

"Oh! Yes! Good luck."

"Right."

> > > >

"Well, it's about damned time! What did you do, play a round of golf? We've got serious problems!" yelled Rodney at his brother watching as John began to look around curiously from waking up in his pod.

"What happened! GET DOWN!" he yelled.

Rodney instinctively dropped to the floor, just as John pulled out his gun and started shooting at the Wraith before him. Rodney jumped up, his gun drawn gasping deeply.

Together the two stared at the dead creature, shivering at the sight.

"That happened! Not so hot now!" gripped Rodney.

"Thanks Rod," whispered John, throwing his brother off.

> > > >

"We monitored all transmissions from the Wraith cruisers prior to the explosion. They never got a chance to board the Aurora or upload any of the Ancient information." Explained Rodney as they all stood in Weir's office.

"Both cruisers were destroyed in the explosion." Finished Caldwell.

"It's too bad we weren't able to figure out the Wraith weakness." Ronan added.

"At least we found out they had one." Pointed John.

"Good work. Thank you, everyone," Elizabeth said ready to close the case for the day.

"Uh, before we break up the party, there's something I'd like to do," he reached out and picked up the bottle of champagne and smiled. Elizabeth smiled softly and picked up a tray of wine glasses, quickly passing them out. John smiled as he began to pour some in each glass. "Might seem a little strange, but I promised to do something when we got home. To the crew of the Aurora." He whispered softly as they all toasted to the crew then drank their champagne.

> > > >

"Rod…" came John's voice from his lab door.

Rodney didn't look up, but signaled his brother that it was okay to enter the room. After another moment the scientist looked up and smiled at his brother, "sorry, what's up?"

"I…uh…I just wanted to say thanks again…and I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" Rodney asked.

"For saying I didn't trust you…that's not true…I started trusting you again awhile back…and thanks for coming to save my sorry ass."

"Your welcome…and I'd do it a million times if I had to…"

"Yeah…I know…thanks again."

"Yep," Rodney replied.

"You…you doin' anything?"

"Uh…yeah…."

"Wanna go watch a movie with me?"

Rodney turned and looked at his brother, smiling he nodded, "sounds good, as long as it's not that Cube movie again…"

"I like that movie…"

"Oh please it's too easy…" their voices faded down the hallway.


	31. Trapped

Author's Note: Little Weir/McKay time, doesn't have to be interepted as McWeir, I just felt that it was time we got these two characters back on track along, after all John and McKay are doing better, it only seems right these two do too.  
Chapter Thirty-One: Trapped

He was busy, but not just slightly busy; no he was busy up to his eyeballs, so busy that he honestly couldn't remember getting a full night's sleep; between his, now seven month old daughter, and the trouble they'd been having around Atlantis; he was busy.

"Rodney…" Elizabeth said smiling as she stepped into the transporter with him. Whatever had occurred between them was gone. Or at least for the most part.

"Good morning Elizabeth," Rodney said smiling at his friend. She grinned and stood by his side.

The two were quiet, Elizabeth was unsure whether it was because they were still uncomfortable around one another or if it was simply because they had little to speak of.

She opened her mouth to speak when the transporter came to an abrupt halt. "what the…" she began, but Rodney was already on it, talking to Zelenka over the comm. Unit.

"Well can you fix it?" Rodney asked suddenly, "three hours! Radek! That's insane!"

"Rodney," Elizabeth's warning voice came.

"Fine do your best," muttered Rodney as he slumped against the wall.

"So what happened?"

"Kavanagh was supposed to fix the transporters…well he didn't do a very good job. Zelenka says it'll take at least three hours, possibly more than that….worst of all there's nothing we can do," he mumbled.

"Don't worry Rodney, we'll get out of this," Elizabeth said touching his arm gently.

"Yeah…right, I'm just not a big fan of small spaces…" Rodney said looking around.

"Rodney, you've gotta calm down…don't worry the ancients knew what they were doing when they made this place, I'm sure we'll be just fine… all we have to do for now is relax and wait."

"Relax? Elizabeth I have ten projects at least all going right now, I don't exactly have time to relax…."

"Which is exactly why you need to relax, Rodney you're driving everyone insane and you're working yourself to the bone. Come on, sit down," Elizabeth said as she slid down the transporter wall and patted the floor by her side.

"There has to be some…"

"Rodney, Zelenka already said there was nothing you could do…"

"It's just…" he sighed and slowly he moved over and sat down a few inches from her side. "So now what?" he asked quietly.

"Well…we could talk, I hear it's all the rage nowadays," Elizabeth said poking fun of her friend.

"Smart ass," he said grinning weakly.

"You know it's been awhile since we've really been able to just talk," she whispered.

"Two years and six weeks…"

"You're counting?" Elizabeth was surprised.

"It was the first day I arrived on Antarctica, I was one of the first scientists to arrive and you found me in the lab yelling at someone…"

"And we ended up talking for four and a half hours…I remember, best conversation I've had in a long time," she said smiling softly at the memory.

"Elizabeth…I'm really sorry I let you down…" he whispered.

Elizabeth looked over at the sullen scientist. Her scientist, her Rodney, her best friend: she had been angry, yes, but she hadn't stayed angry for very long. "I'm not angry anymore Rodney…you made a mistake, and you paid much more for that mistake than anyone of ever intended."

"I know this is probably a really inappropriate question…but…are you and John…" he paused realizing how bad this conversation was starting to sound.

"No, there is nothing between John and I, Rodney John's like a brother to me," Elizabeth said smiling as she leaned her head back against the wall.

"Yeah…me too," he said smiling.

"We should probably avoid that subject," she said smiling.

"You never told me about what happened when you went home? You seemed…frustrated," he replied gently.

"That's not avoiding the subject Rodney," Elizabeth said a little sadly.

"Why, what happened?" he asked suddenly concerned.

"You really want to know?"

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't…"

"Simon…well apparently Simon took my Dear John…tape to heart…he broke it to me before we had a beautiful candlelight dinner, that he was seeing someone…" she said softly as she fondled the beautiful necklace that hung around her long slender neck.

"We could kill him for you," Rodney said seriously.

Elizabeth chuckled softly as she looked over and saw the small smile reaching his lips. "I haven't cooked in years…I missed him…a lot more than I thought possible…and yet, I was glad to leave."

"Elizabeth, you spent a year of your life without him…you don't need him in your life…you're perfect without him…" Rodney blanched at the fact that he had really just said that.

"You're not so bad yourself,' she said as she gently knocked her shoulder into his.

"When…when we went into the future…I know this sounds strange, but when we had that accident with the solar flare…I met my daughter twenty some years from now…Elizabeth if something ever happened to me…."

"Rodney, nothing will happen to you…" she hated hearing conversations like this. They depressed her, they always had since the death of her father years ago when he had wished to say a final goodbye to her.

"Elizabeth…just hear me out for a second okay….if something ever happened to me, promise me you'll care for Lauryn…you're…she's familiar with you and she loves you a lot. She's a strong kid, but she will be so much stronger with you in her life."

"I'll care for her Rodney, you didn't even have to ask…you know I love her like a dau…niece."

There was silence again between the two of them, Rodney looked over at her through the corner of his eye. Without a second thought he scooted closer to her gently, "are you okay?" he inquired gently.

"It's been a rough day… the last few days have been kind of rough actually," she said gently as she looked down at her hands.

"Need to talk about it?"

"I'm not sure it would be…I don't know…" she whispered shaking her head in a soft reply.

"You can talk to me anytime Liz…I know I may be a pain in the ass at times, but…as a friend and someone who honestly cares about you…I'm always here and willing to talk to you. Believe it or not I'm actually a really good listener…"

She grinned and chuckled softly, "sometimes it's…well it's hard being the leader. Not that I'm complaining, I love this job, I love working with everyone here…except Kavanagh, but…"

"Even leaders get lonely sometimes…it's true what they say, you know that it's lonely being at the top."

"Yes…it is. Today has just been one of those days," she replied gently.

"People giving you a hard time, talking back?"

"Yeah…we lost another officer today…it's heartbreaking at times the when I think the number of people we've lost on this mission."

"We're going to lose many more…but we've gotta keep the hope…think of it this way, no one is dying without a good reason. Everyone we've lost has sacrificed for the greater good. I know how wrong it seems…but think of all the knowledge we gain everyday. Without those who are willing to make the sacrifice we wouldn't have some of that information."

"Including you…don't count yourself short Rodney…without you we wouldn't be nearly as far along as we are today," she said gently.

"None of us would be here if it wasn't for you…you're our intrepid leader…but that doesn't mean you can't feel Elizabeth. Don't believe for a second that because you're our leader that you have to always be strong and that you always have to put on a good face. Kate…Dr. Heightmeyer says it's not good to hold in all those emotions…and she's right. You won't do anyone any good if you don't break down once in awhile. Maybe not in front of everyone, but I'm here…and Carson is here…we're all here to help."

"I wouldn't feel comfortable breaking down in front of your brother," she said gently.

"He's good at being comforting…he's a good man."

"Yes he is, you both are…your mother would be very proud of both of you."

"I miss her," Rodney whispered.

"I'm not surprised; I must admit I miss both my parents as well…"

"How'd they die?" Rodney inquired.

"Mom died of breast cancer…she didn't catch in time…by the time they found it, it had already spread to her lungs…I was twelve," Elizabeth whispered.

"And your dad?"

"He died of a sudden heart attack a few years before I started working at the SGC…William was only twenty…so it was a rough road for the two of us…"

"I'm so sorry," Rodney said gently.

"It's okay…you learn to move on…what about your parents? How did you end up in the Sheppard's care?"

"My mother died of a brain tumor when I was…seven…she wasn't perfect…and she was weak…very weak, but I loved her very much…She and my dad rarely got along…and yet when she died my father's world died with her…dad was already drunk and evil by the time my mom died…but there I was eight years old…my sister Jeannie left to protect herself and my niece…and I was stuck with dad."

"How did he die?"

"Sudden heart attack, he…he was very heavy for two years after my mom's death…I found him on the bathroom floor," Rodney whispered his eyes distant and full of pain.

"My god," she spoke softly.

"I survived…"

"Yes…yes you did," Elizabeth replied smiling.

"Seriously though Liz…I'm always here, for a shoulder or ear to lean on," Rodney said softly.

"Thank you Rodney…I may have to take you up on that sometime."

"Rodney?" came Zelenka's voice over the communicator.

"I'm here," Rodney said not moving from his position on the floor next to Elizabeth.

"We're running into small glitches, but we should have everything fixed in another hour…how are you holding up?" John's voice came across the speaker.

"We're hanging in there Colonel," Elizabeth said calmly.

"Could you guys try to hurry up the process though, I'm starving," Rodney spoke.

"We'll do our best Rodney," Zelenka replied.

Rodney sighed as he leaned his head back against the wall, "you doing all right?" Elizabeth's voice filled with concern.

"Little shaky…but…I'm okay," he whispered softly.

"What does it feel like? Hypoglycemia?"

"Strange…it starts out as hunger, in the beginning it's just agitation…I become angry and frustrated easier and quicker. Then my head gets heavy…almost foggy…I become tired but at the same time I wide awake. My body feels heavy and I'm shaky…then the hunger goes away…and that's when the problem begins…"

"Why?"

"Because then I assume I'm not hungry…and that's where many of us have the problem…we become almost nauseated…so we don't eat…and then we end up in the infirmary."

"But you can control it?"

"That's why I always try to eat early on…it's not a fun reaction to have."

"Well, now I'll know," Elizabeth replied.

"What about you? Any allergies?"

"Um…no…but I did have asthma when I was little…that was scary."

"My sister had that for a few years as well…they said she grew out it…and that some kids grow out of it and some don't."

Neither one had noticed they seemed to gravitate closer to one another, now sitting side by side. They're conversation continued for another twenty-five minutes while they waited for the doors to open.

When the doors finally slid open John smiled as he stood there, "cozy?"

"Oh shut up," Rodney said as he stood and gave Elizabeth a hand up from the floor.

"Glad you're both okay," he said smiling.

> > > >

The doors slid open as she stepped out onto the balcony and smiled. Rodney stood by the railing, a coffee cup in hand. Smiling she reached out and gently rubbed his back . He turned slightly and smiled at her, "hi," he said grinning.

"So what's happened between us?" she inquired.

"I dunno…I'd say we came to a mutual agreement of enjoying each other's company," he said smiling.

"Well I think I can handle that," she said as she leaned against the railing at his side. Smiling she reached out and squeezed his free hand. "Friends?" she asked softly.

He turned to look into her beautiful hazel eyes and smiled, "until the end," he whispered in return.

Leaning over she pressed a kiss to his cheek, then leaned her head against his shoulder.


	32. Dr Beckett and Mr Hyde

Author's Note: Poor Carson, he and Rodney both get a wee bit of whumpage in this chapter. Enjoy! Steph

Chapter Thirty-Two: Dr. Beckett and Mr. Hyde

Doctor Carson Beckett sat at his desk that morning, studying the latest information Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard had collected during their last mission, when Nurse Mary DeSantos came rushing into his room.

"What's wrong Mary?"

"We've got a minor emergency…its Doctor McKay," she spoke as though it were the most usual thing in the world. Sometimes, to Carson; it really felt like the most normal thing in the world now. Last week he had treated Rodney for a minor concussion due to a small explosion, two days ago Carson was forced to make the scientist eat to keep him from dying of his hypoglycemia.

As Carson quickly stood he wondered what it would be today, a flash burn, chemical spill, concussion, vomiting, broken bone… There Rodney sat, on one of the unoccupied beds, looking exhausted…as always. His shirt was off, and his left arm extended, revealing a nasty burn on his forearm.

"What happened Rodney?" Carson asked as he took the arm gently in his hands and examined it.

"One of the many projects backfired…I'm fine…"

"I'll determine that, you've got a second degree burn, I'm going to need to get some ointment for that, probably something for the pain right," Carson eyed his best friend.

There was no question that Rodney had changed quite a bit in the world of Atlantis. He was no longer just a geeky scientist that annoyed the hell out of every one on the damned planet. He was a solider now: when he had arrived nearly a year and a half ago he had been chubby from the lack of movement. What had been chubbiness had developed into trimmed muscle and a mental strength that no one thought he could actually have. He had become quite a man, and Carson had to admit he was proud of the man sitting in front of him. Rodney had sacrificed his life many times just to help those close to him.

"Ahh…that would be great," Rodney whispered.

"I'll be right back laddie," Carson stated simply, he gently patted the man's shoulder and headed off to one of the medicine cabinets. He found the ointment for the wound quickly, but the aspirin was no where to be seen, "Mary, where's the bloody pain killers?" it was obvious that Atlantis was beginning to run out of what Carson called standard medicine. It seemed like there was someone coming in every day with another common problem that require a simple dose of aspirin, Tylenol, Ibuprofen, penicillin and other common remedies to the usual ache or illness. And while Carson preferred the simple things over the large and life threatening injuries, he didn't like the idea of running out of a medication that was taken in large quantities of a community with over one hundred people. The Daedalus was supposed to return with painkillers in another week.

"Try in the storage room," came Nurse Mary DeSantos' reply from where she stood wrapping Sergeant Kevin Burns broken radius in the infirmary bed across the room.

Carson shivered slightly at the thought, he avoided their store room, it was small and simple, for a storage room, but it was creepy, it was like there should be more to it, but someone had just forgotten to turn the switch on. He headed back to the far end of the infirmary, where a door led to the storage room. The storage room was no bigger than a large walk in closet, where they stored all the medicines, IVs, and extra earth equipment. The shelves and cabinets were set up in rows of four by four, the furthest ones were pushed against the back wall, that was where the aspirin usually was. As he made his way towards the far back shelve cursing the dimwit who felt the need to put the world's most generic and used medication in the far back. He was surprised however when he looked down at the bottom shelf and saw a light filtering through what looked like a small crack, perhaps a door just behind the shelf.

He looked back at the occupants of the infirmary. Nothing new; the broken arm, a sprained ankle and one concussed scientist who had forgotten the correct setting to some new toy and blew himself across the room and one burned scientist that was now resting on the bed: Deciding he could risk a few moments to be the abnormal explorer he was, Carson pushed himself past the shelves and cabinets. There was a dim light on just over the door, almost like that of the door to the back of an alley behind a bar. He searched the wall for a light switch, and connected with something.

Seconds later the room was flooded with lights; it took Carson's breath away, the room had to be at least half a football field to an entire football field long, closer to him there were twenty perhaps thirty or forty at best, isolated rooms, not just a bed sitting in the middle of the room protected with a curtain, but small simple glass rooms, with gurneys in them.

In the middle of the room was a large desk, no doubt a nurses station of some sort, and perhaps a place to study cultures, to the further end there was a lab of sorts, also behind glass doors there were large machines Carson could only guess were probably the Ancient's version of x-ray machines, MRIs, Cat Scans and various other types of healing devices and equipment that would check or take stock of a patient's injury. All basked by the beautiful glow of windows surrounding the entire hall, making it look almost welcoming if not comfortable.

Right by the door there was an office off to the left, which Carson instantly decided was larger and more person and he planned to claim it as his own new office. Off to the left was a smaller lab. Unable to resist, Carson took a step towards the smaller lab. The glass doors were opened, so he stepped inside.

There were vials everywhere, which contained only god knew what. Carson couldn't help but be thrilled, excited, this was quite possibly the largest discovery in medicine they had come across so far on Atlantis. It looked like a hundred different blood cultures could be done at once, if not more. He stepped towards one, not seeing the small test tube already sitting on the floor, untouched by the world.

The crunch was enough to make anyone wince, as Carson looked down and prayed that he hadn't just broken some important specimen he could intensely study, perhaps an Ancient's blood…did Ancients have blood?

However as he looked down he watched in horror, his eyes becoming wide in sheer terror as a large cloud of smoke quickly ascended upon him, he didn't have time to stop it, as it filled his mouth nose and eyes. Carson coughed and sputtered, trying to catch his breath. He quickly turned and made his way out of the small lab.

He looked around, rapidly blinking his eyes as he tried to clear the fuzzy images from his vision, things becoming foggy and confusing. It was as though a large film had just settled over his brain. He staggered, reaching for one of the beds, stars began to dance in front of his eyes, he looked up and around, trying to clear his head, shaking it. However soon blackness completely over took his mind; Carson dropped to the floor, sprawled out, no one any the wiser to where the missing doctor had disappeared to.

> > > >

"…just collapsed?" the voices were floating around his head, as he slowly was pulled back from the blackness within. It was as though someone or something was holding him down, making him feel like he was suffocating and couldn't pull himself back to reality.

"…found him on the floor of some…" they were fading in and out; he felt like he was listening to a bad radio station that was loosing its signal. He slowly pried an eye open, searching to see who in the hell would be talking above him. The lights immediately attacked his senses as he blinked his eyes continuously trying to clear the blurred image above him.

"Dr. Beckett?" a voice called, causing Carson to realize he had to open his eyes, otherwise he'd be sitting like this for the rest of his life. He slowly opened his eyes, he pushed aside the uncomfortable burning sensation he felt in his nose and throat. He looked up to see Nurse DeSantos standing above him, looking worried and perhaps a little put out; beside her was Dr. Rodney McKay, John Sheppard and Dr. Weir. They all held concerned looks on their faces as they seemingly studied him.

"Wha' happened?" he questioned instantly as he began to sit up, he had to latch onto the nearest bed rail, as his world began to topple again. He felt John and Rodney gently push him back down to the bed

"Slow down Doc, you had a little bit of a spill, Rodney here found you in the new infirmary you found," explained John.

"Infirmary?" he spoke, in confusion. Why was his head so foggy, he hadn't felt like this since the day he got really drunk in college and woke up the next morning with his head in the toilet…and a girl in his bed that he couldn't remember ever meeting.

"Yeah, you don't remember? Apparently you went back to look for some aspirin and you found some type of door in the back, led you into the beautiful new infirmary. Nurse DeSantos said you collapsed from exhaustion. You've gotta stop running yourself ragged Carson," Rodney said smiling mimicking the same stern tone that Carson often took with him when Rodney had collapsed from exhaustion.

"I'm fine…I feel fine anyway," explained Carson.

"Yes, well just the same, I'd like to keep you for another couple hours," Mary said pulling rank on her boss with a soft caring smile. She was a stern nurse, with a bad sense of humor but an amazing work ethic. He had made her head nurse for a reason and as he looked at her, he realized why he had given her such a high position.

"Aye…that sounds wonderful…Rodney your arm?" Carson said suddenly remembering his friend.

"DeSantos took a look at it here, says I'll be just fine in a couple days…"

"Good…" he leaned his head back against the pillow and closed his eyes, trying to fend off the aching in the back of his skull and at the bridge of his nose, spreading behind his eyes and across to his temples.

"Get some rest doctor, I'll wake you in a few hours shortly before lunch," Mary said softly as she patted Carson's shoulder. He settled further into the bed and allowed the dreams to take over his world.

John looked over at Rodney and smiled softly, "come on science boy, let's get you to your quarters, I'm sure you could use a little rest, and none of this two hour crap. You're going to get some real sleep. We're going on a mission tomorrow and I want you at your best," John said as he led his closest friend out of the infirmary.

Elizabeth smiled as she watched the two go, nodding to Mary she headed out of the infirmary as well, ready to tell Colonel Caldwell about the new found infirmary and inquire to the possibility of expanding the infirmary to the larger room. Perhaps even making the old infirmary a larger surgical room, there were so many options and Elizabeth planned to explore them all with her Chief of Medicine as soon as he was feeling up to it again.

It was mid afternoon when DeSantos along with one of the other on call doctors discharged him from their care. Carson had every intention to do as Elizabeth had instructed and take the rest of the day off.

> > > >

The havoc began to be wreaked the next day. It was as though their sweet, kind and gentle Carson Beckett began to disappear. At least John had noticed this when he stepped into the infirmary and heard an unusually annoyed doctor yelling at a group of younger nurses and doctors.

"Ye can't get anything bloody right!" Carson yelled to one younger doctor.

"Hey, hey Doctor Kill-joy, what's going on here?" John asked as he stepped or to his friend's side.

"These bloody fools aren't even trying," growled Carson as he glared at the Colonel.

"Okay…what's your problem?" John asked in confusion.

"There's nothing wrong with me aside from the splitting headache. Now if you'll excuse me I've got work to do…"

"I was just coming to tell you that we've got a mission in a few hours, and you're coming with us."

"Excuse me?" Carson asked raising his eyes brow at his friend.

"Look doc, it was Elizabeth's decision, she wants you out in the field not wasting away in this damned infirmary all the time…"

"Excuse me? Waste away? What the bloody hell does she think I'm doing here?" growled Carson angrily.

"Okay…look I'm not in charge. All I know is that Elizabeth would like you and periodically some of the other staff members to go off world a little more often. So suit up we leave in three hours," it was harsh, but John wasn't going to pussyfoot around it with his friend.

"Fine," muttered Carson as he turned his back on the Colonel.

John turned and left the infirmary, hoping his friend would be back to normal soon…

> > > >

By the time they were ready to leave for the mission Carson's attitude didn't seem to improve much, although he was more quiet now than before. John was starting to worry about his dear friend's annoyed stated, what was going on that would change such a good guy into…well Mr. Hyde so quickly.

Choosing to ignore the doctor's not so pleasant attitude, Weir gave the command to go, and seconds later Teyla, Ronan, John, Carson and Rodney stepped through the wormhole.

"Okay guys, it's a nice simple mission," stated John, and it was. They were to go there, let Rodney look at a few ancient writings Major's Lorne's team had found. While Carson and Rodney hung around for that, Ronan would keep a look out and Teyla would go with John to scout out the area.

"All right, Ronan watch their backs, we'll be back in half an hour," John spoke as he and Teyla made their way from the small site.

"They're all bloody insane," came Carson's voice as he scowled at Rodney.

"You okay?" Rodney asked with concern, he was just as worried about his friend as John was. Something was wrong with Carson and they needed to find out what.

"I'm fine! Ye' just make sure ye' don't blow anything up I can't fix!" growled the doctor.

Rodney glowered back at his friend, it wasn't like he was habitually reckless. "I'll be fine…"

"You feel there is something wrong?" Teyla questioned as she and John headed back towards the gate nearly forty-five minutes later. They had found nothing, no people, no water there wasn't much to say about this planet.

"Carson's been acting a little weird today…"

"Perhaps something is bothering him?"

"Yeah, that's what I thought…I tried to talk to him about it this morning but…well not much to say there. He just kinda yelled at me and then made me leave."

"Maybe Rodney can talk to him."

"Mayb…"

"You're not even smart enough to know when to stop!" came Carson's yell of heated anger.

John's eyes grew wide as he saw Ronan Dex standing in between Rodney and Carson. Carson looked absolutely livid, and Rodney was somewhere between hot and feeling ashamed that his friend really thought such things.

"HEY!" yelled John.

"At least I don't lose patients!"

"No? What do ye call blowing up the entire solar system?"

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?" John growled again as he grabbed Carson's arm.

He was stunned when Carson ripped his arm from John's grasp, and slammed it into John's chest.

"Carson!" Ronan yelled grabbing the man by both arms.

"Enough," came Teyla's voice. "I do not know what has occurred here, but I think it best if we all just go back to Atlantis. It is obvious that no work is getting down at this moment, and we will only succeed in hurting one another."

"He started it," mumbled Rodney as though he were a small child.

"Enough Rodney," Teyla said gently placing a hand to his shoulder.

The creature was furious, livid, and angry at the scientist. As he looked through Carson's ocean blue eyes he could feel the weakness the scientist had, and he seemed to have it by the waves.

He would find a way to get rid of this man, for in the creature's opinion he was not worthy to live on such a place as Atlantis. He watched through tainted eyes as they stepped back into Atlantis.

The creature could feel Carson fighting it, trying to regain control of his body. He would not have it, he was curious about the world around him. The Ancients had ripped him from his world, now he would rip the ancients from theirs. Starting with the chubby scientist in front of him.

_'Stay away from them,' came the Scottish voice._

_'I didn't ask for your input doctor, and when I feel it's worth listening to, perhaps then I'll take it.'_

The creature knew Carson would find a way to alert his people to his problems, however until then, he had full reign of the fine doctor, an ability he was not likely to soon give up.

_'What's this doctor…' _the creature grinned at the information he had just been given. A solution on how to get rid of their annoying scientist once and for all.

"Elizabeth…I think I have a solution," Rodney said as he hurried into her office.

"Okay… a solution to what?" she questioned.

"Carson…I walked into the new infirmary Carson found. There was information about all the systems as well as some research they were working on. They had captured a creature that was very similar to the mysterious entity we discovered early on in Atlantis…only it was further developed. Some of the ancients felt that this creature possessed an amazing ability to take over one's mind."

"This is a little far fetched…" Elizabeth began.

"Elizabeth, you saw how angry the entity got when we let it out, what if we could do the same thing, some how extract this creature from Carson and send him back through the gate far away from here."

"How do you propose to do that?" Elizabeth questioned.

"Offer it something even better…offer it the chance to really go free."

"What makes you think it'll take this bait?"

"Because we could send it to another world where we know it will be comfortable…we send it to the same planet we sent the other entity, then we tell the creature there are hundreds more people there."

"All right…" Elizabeth agreed, "but we have to be careful, if something is really wrong with Carson, there's a very good chance this creature could decide to attack us."

"So we attack it first."

John looked at Rodney, as if waiting for his brother to confirm this idea was both a safe one and a sane one. They had called Carson down to the gate room ten minutes ago. The man had been gruff and rude; a normal Carson would have been more than willing.

"What do you want?" Carson came by.

The creature never saw it coming. One second Carson was standing in the middle of the gate room and the next second he was surrounded by guns aimed right at him. The creature looked around in an almost panicked state.

John took a step closer to him, his hands raised calmly, "Carson, I don't know if you can hear me…but we want to help you…we know there's something or someone inside trying to take control. We want to help you," John called.

The rest was slow motion, John came a step closer…too close, the creature reached out before John knew what was happening and ripped the gun from his side holster. Seconds later it was pointed right between John's eyes.

"Sir?" Lorne yelled.

"Don't shoot!" John yelled, trying to remain calm, "The Carson I know wouldn't do this, now put the gun down," John said turning back to his friend.

"Sir, I have a clear shot!" Lorne yelled again.

"I SAID DON'T FIRE!" yelled John. "Carson listen to me, it's John, we just want to help you, we're willing to send the creature to another highly populated world.

"You wouldn't do that…Carson knows it!" growled the creature in a strange distorted voice not far from the Gou'uld.

"Carson also knows I'd do anything to save him." John said calmly.

He jumped when the safety was taken off, he looked around. Suddenly a loud shot rang out, John hit the floor, a terrible scream was ripped from Carson's body as the creature rose from the bleeding form of the Doctor into the air.

Rodney suddenly hit the dialing device and screamed for everyone to duck, he raced down the stairs and sent the generator through the gate. Instantly the wailing creature followed.

"CARSON!" yelled John as he hurried over to his best friend. "Get a medical team down here now! Carson, can you hear me?"

Two warm friendly but pain-filled blue eyes looked up at him, "I've been shot," he whispered.

"In the shoulder, you'll be just fine Carson."

"Rodn…" he mumbled as he lost consciousness.

> > > >

Rodney sat quietly in his lab, he was trying to focus on the work before him. The doctors had already announced that Carson would be fine as soon as he woke up.

Sighing as he rubbed his temples Rodney reached out and grabbed the MRE that was sitting next to him. As he looked down at he grimaced…chicken, how did this amount to chicken. Shrugging he stabbed a piece with a fork he had sitting near by and took a bite.

He didn't even have a chance to think about what he was eating before he started noticing the itchy feeling in his throat, the sudden rush of blood to his head as his breathing became labored.

"Rod…" the voice stopped as John entered the room.

Rodney looked at his brother in an horrified look of panic, "What's wrong?" John asked as he rushed over to his side.

Rodney pointed to his food as he struggled to breath, his hands clasping his throat.

"Let's get you to the infirmary!" John grabbed his brother's arm and quickly helped him out of the lab.

> > > >

John sat by his brother, watching as air was forced into his blocked lungs, they had caught the reaction just in time, but not nearly quick enough. Rodney was unconscious and still having trouble breathing.

"What happened John?" Elizabeth questioned.

"He had an allergic reaction to the grilled chicken he was eating…it had lemon all over it," whispered John.

"How is he?"

"He's dehydrated his body's already started rebelling, he's very sick…" John whispered.

"John is there any chance that Cars…"

"The creature did this Elizabeth, not Carson, you can't blame this on him. He's going to feel guilty about this as it is, and if we run in there making acusations…"

"I just need to know what to put on the report John," Elizabeth whispered.

"Put that the chicken was lemon, and the outside of the carton was labeled wrong, I don't care what you find to say, but we will not put blame on either man for this."

"I know…" she whispered. Reaching out Elizabeth pushed a strand of hair from Rodney's sweaty forehead.

"John…" came Mary DeSantos' voice. "Carson's awake and he'd like to see you."

"Thanks Mary…Elizabeth would you…"

"You don't even have to ask," Elizabeth said taking up the seat John had just vacated.

"I'll be back."

John hurried across the room to see Carson lying in bed, looking exhausted and sick, "how do you feel?"

"Like I've been shot? John…the creature it…"

"We know, Rodney's in a few beds over, but he'll be fine in no time."

"I'm sorry," whispered Carson.

"Hey," John spoke firmly, "this isn't your fault, so don't go blaming yourself. You had no control, nobody blames you."

"I blame me," mumbled Carson.

> > > > >

Four days later, John stood with his hands over his best friend's eyes as he led him to the infirmary. Teyla and Ronan by his side as well; Rodney and Elizabeth had been working hard at their surprise for nearly two days now, and while Rodney was supposed to be resting, he couldn't help but stay away.

"Okay Doc," John said grinning as he stood him in place. John smiled, it was amazing what ninety-five strong willed, good people could do. "Open your eyes."

It was beautiful stunning, they had knocked out the two walls between the two infirmaries. Carson was stunned, the new infirmary had been cleaned, it was beautiful, everything was set up perfectly, and they placed all the extra equipment down at another end of the infirmary.

All the members of Atlantis, new and old stood surrounding it, a large banner was draped from the ceiling reading in bright blue letters WELCOME HOME CARSON. Carson smiled at the thoughtfulness of his friends.

"Carson," Rodney said as he slowly made his way towards his friend, handing him a glass of punch, "how do you like the new infirmary?"

"It's beautiful…did ye do all this?" Carson questioned.

"Elizabeth and I planned it, she wouldn't let me do any of the major work, but it didn't take much to do it…" Rodney said gently.

"Thank you Rodney, thank you all of you," Carson said smiling.

TBC


	33. Caved In and Captured

Author's Note: This chapter came at a period where I was having trouble writing, I probably should have just stopped for awhile, but I didn't and somehow this came out, it's not bad, in fact it's very good I probably shoud have developed it further, but seeing as it's a two parter, there will be this chapter with the cliff hanger then a second chapter to come as soon as I finish I hope you won't mind too much, especially since the second chapter will really delve into John and Rodney's relationship, as well as Carson and Rodney's friendship, and Rodney's personal relationships with most of his close friends on Atlantis. This chapter isn't nearly as intense as the next one, but it's got some good stuff, and sadly we see the return of everyone's favorite bad guy (and no I don't mean Steve). So enjoy and leave some reviews I could usethem :)

Chapter Thirty-Three: Cave In

Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard took the lead of the group, M74-392 was supposed to have people similar to the Athosian people, with a decent amount of crops. Several Athosians had spoken highly of these people.

However John had his doubts, the planet was chilly, it was hard for him to believe there was anything at all on this planet to make crops grow. This was conducive weather to be growing food.

Flanking John's sides were Teyla and Rodney; his younger brother having now been out of the hospital for nearly two weeks since his run in with the lemon was almost completely back to normal. But John could now officially understand why his brother cringed every time someone even mentioned citrus fruits.

Ronan pulled up the end, looking around, making sure they were in no danger. The four friends fit together well, Ronan protected everyone, John protected Teyla and Rodney, and Teyla mostly protected Rodney, who attempted to protect himself.

"Is anyone else cold?" John asked suddenly.

"I stopped feeling my toes about two minutes after stepping through the gate," replied Rodney.

"What kind of crops to they grow on this planet anyway?" John requested.

"I am not sure, it has been many years since we have worked with the Halens, they were generous people when I was young…but then years change people," Teyla replied.

"Teyla!" called a voice from a few feet away. The four teammates looked ahead and smiled. A young man, probably a little younger than Teyla waved to her.

"Miki," Teyla greeted the young man in a similar fashion with both their heads together.

"It is good to see you again," the man, Miki said smiling.

"And you as well, Miki this is John Sheppard, Rodney McKay and Ronan Dex," she introduced.

"It is nice to meet you all…" the man said offering each man a smile.

"I thought you had left this world many years ago?"

"I did…but I have returned I am now second to his highness," explained Miki.

"Congratulations, that is quite an honorable position."

"What's the highness'…name?" John questioned as he and Rodney both paused to think about his grammar.

"Halem Kayle," replied Miki.

"Wonderful, now we'll know, lead the way," John said grinning kindly.

Rodney quickly caught up with his brother and looked at him, in a quiet voice he spoke, "John…I've got a really bad…"

"Don't worry, my spidey sense is tingling too Robin," mumbled John.

Rodney looked at him in wonderment and smiled, "you do realize those are from two totally different comics?"

"Of course I do," John said smiling in return, "Superman and The Fab Four," John replied in a mocking tone.

"I hate you," lied Rodney.

"As long as you don't hate me because I'm smarter than you."

"On no, don't worry that's not an issue," Rodney said earning himself a playful smack in the back of his head.

The town seemed further along than the Athosians had been, but not nearly as far along as the Genii had been…then again they'd been building nukes under ground. Rodney stuck close by his brother as they made their way through the homestead. "Come with me," Miki spoke as he led the four Atlantians through the door of one home.

"Miki," spoke a severe strong voice. Rodney, John and Teyla's faces swiveled around as they took in the sight of the man standing before him. He was young, perhaps thirty-two earth years or less. He had dark black hair and frightening cold brown eyes.

"King Halem," Miki greeted as he bowed down before his king.

"John he…" Rodney began.

"I know," mumbled John stunned. The man looked very familiar…frighteningly so, and yet neither man could suddenly place the king's face.

"Hi, I'm Colonel John Sheppard, this is Doctor Rodney McKay, Teyla Emmagan and Specialist Ronan Dex," John greeted.

"Welcome to Halen, I am King Halem, what way may we help you?" the man spoke with confidence, but John sensed an underlying tone of annoyance and perhaps even fear.

"We're here to trade with you…"

"We do not trade with strangers," the man spoke firmly.

"We just met….you could at least get to know us."

"I have little interest in trading with people as you…but if you insist we shall come to know you, I will grant you one night and a day to remain here starting tonight. You are not to interact with anyone aside from Miki and myself."

"Ah…okay," John replied almost a little too willingly for the rest of his team.

> > > >  
They ate with around a small fire just outside of the main city, after dinner Ronan offered to take the first watch, followed by Teyla, then Rodney and John would finish off the evening, as he always had and always would. Rodney sighed as he turned again, trying to find some position that wouldn't make his back stiff come tomorrow morning.

"Rod, if you don't stop I'm going to kick you," mumbled John from next to him in the tent. They only had three tents, and Teyla refused to sleep in the same tent with any of the guys for obvious reasons, so John offered to share with his brother, in case their favorite wookie decided to strangle the scientist in the night.

"I'm sorry," grumbled the scientist.

"Don't be sorry just stop…what's bothering you anyway, you've been quiet since dinner…"

"There's something weird about the king..." mumbled Rodney as he rolled over on his back and looked up at the top of the tent. "He looks so familiar…"

"That he does little brother," John sighed.

"Koyla…" came Rodney's sudden ghastly voice.

"What?"

"Koyla…he looks like Koyla," whispered Rodney.

"Nah…couldn't be, right," replied John.

"John…"

"Rodney go to sleep."

"I'm suddenly not in the mood to go to sleep without a gun or AK-47 by my side."

"Nah, with your luck you'd blow our heads off," John joked softly.

"Thanks," mumbled Rodney as he closed his eyes and sighed.

John paused and looked over at his brother for a moment, his "spidey sense" as he had called it earlier was no longer just tingling but it was at full awareness, to the point he was waiting for something to just go wrong. Rodney was right, the king held a striking resemblence to their least favorite Genii. John closed his eyes, with the intention of feverently protecting every member of his team, especially Rodney and himself, there was no question that Koyla had it in for both men, and John wasn't going to give him any chances in capturing or hurting anyone on his team.

> > > >

"How is my favorite brother," came the threatening voice. King Halem turned to stare at the man, fear written all over his younger features.

"What are you doing here?" Halem questioned.

"Imagine my surprise when I learned that you were striking up bargains with those from Atlantis," the man said in a deep menacing voice.

"I have not struck up anything Acustus… if anything I was merely waiting…"

"Waiting for me? I told you what to do if they ever came here! They are still alive, so you obviously did not listen," the man sneered as he stepped out of the shadows.

He was tall, with dark hair and dark eyes, a single scar ran down his right cheek. Halem looked at his right shoulder, where he knew lay another scar…one his brother still held a grudge over to this very day.

"They are a tough bunc…" the man gagged when he suddenly felt a blade at his throat and the wall against his back.

"People don't like weak leaders Halem, I hate weak people…I also hate people like Sheppard and McKay, I told you what I want you either make it happen or you will be the one suffering my wrath instead of the scientist do you understand."

Halem tried to swallow past the knife, "ye…yes," he managed.

"Excellent," hissed the older man as he released his brother and shoved him against the wall. "Have a wonderful evening my dear brother." With that the Genii walked out of the tent, leaving his younger brother to rub his neck in fear and hesitation.

> > > >

The Atlantis team was up early by the next day, John had easily explained that they would not be trading on this planet, and that after the little tour today, there would be little to no interaction with these people again if their hunch was correct. Miki came around and offered to give them their tour, he led them through town, and around to various different buildings, until finally he led them to the mines.

"This is where we do all of our work," explained Miki.

"You send people in there?" John could vividly remember his grandfather's stories about the days of the war, when people worked in the mines and died of lunch cancer, and tuberculosis as well as other various lung conditions.

"Ah…this is my wife Alana," Miki introduced.

Rodney felt his stomach clinch at the thought of them sending women down there.

"It is men, women and children. We need all the help we can get at times."

"They're nowhere near structurally sound," Rodney murmured as he took a step into the mines.

"Rodney!" ground out John.

"Do you enjoy working down there?" Teyla questioned as she kept her eye on both John and Rodney. John had shared what they had discovered last night, and she also felt it her responsibility to watch over the two way ward brothers.

A sudden rumble split the air and their conversation. Ronan made the quick move before anyone else, and grabbed the scientist just in time to get him away from the sudden collapsing of the mine, dust came from the mine entrance.

"Dala!" screamed Alana as she ran into the mine.

"Alana!" cried Miki as quickly followed her in the mine.

"No Miki!" yelled John as he ran in after the man, afraid of what would happen. The mines weren't safe.

"John!" Ronan hurried in right behind his friend and commander, he was not about to lose Sheppard, after all he really wasn't that fond of the one named Caldwell. To Rodney it looked like some stupid cartoon, person after person after person running into to save the one before them. However, out of instinct he began to move towards the mines to grab his brother and pull him back. Rodney and Teyla turned in horror as the rumble began in the mines, "NO!" screamed Rodney in fear. They watched the rocks plummet from the ceiling, Rodney began to move but Teyla grabbed his arm.

"Let me g…"

"Rodney, you will do no one any good if you go in there, especially not your brother."

"Teyla…" Rodney said looking at his friend.

"I understand Rodney, trust me, but we must be careful."

Rodney suddenly turned around and glared at the King, "you stupid fucking bastard!" he screamed as he grabbed the stunned king.

"Rodney!" yelled Teyla

"NO! You did this! THAT'S MY BROTHER!" Rodney screamed.

"You will collect their bodies then leave, I shall not help you," with that the man detached himself from Rodney and turned to leave. Rodney looked over at the rubble, passing Teyla he hurried over to the side and began to take rock by rock off. Teyla watched sadly for a few minutes, knowing he had to deal with this first. She quietly contacted Atlantis, letting them know what happened and was pleased when they agreed to send help. Moving over to Rodney she gently touched his rigid shoulder.

"Rodney come," she said ever so quietly, the touch was just enough two bloodied hands came to Rodney's face as he began to shake his head in disbelief. "Come sit down," she crooned.

Carson, several of the military teams, Elizabeth, and a few scientists showed up twenty minutes later. Rodney was sitting by the edge of the cavern, a despondent look coloring his pale face. His hands were covered in dirt and blood. Carson spotted him and immediately moved to his dear friend; Elizabeth also hurried to his side, while Teyla briefed the others with what had happened.

"Rodney?" Carson said gently. Two blue blood shot eyes gazed up at him as though he were completely lost.

"John…" he mumbled.

"We'll get him out of there, but right now I need to take care of you, okay?" Carson spoke gently, hoping his friend would actually hear him.

"Me?"

"It's okay Rodney, breathe," whispered Carson gently. Reaching out he began to look at the two hands, they were bloodied, torn and bruised, but they would heal. Carson knew however, that if John didn't survive this, Rodney's heart would never heal.

"Let's take a walk lad," Carson said drawing his friend from the mines. Rodney felt like he was walking in some kind of haze. He followed his friend willingly.

They were silent for a few minutes, Carson was just about to say something when he felt a cold jab in the back of his neck. Raising his hand to grab whatever it, he was stunned to pull away a small dart. He cast Rodney a glance, only to him doing the same, then the two men collapsed unconscious to the ground.

"Excellent…leave the doctor, he is not worth my time," the familiar voice spoke as the man stepped over Carson to Rodney.

Two other men reached down and lifted Rodney's dead weight into their arms. Koyla smiled and nodded, "let's go then."

To Be Continued


	34. Behind Blue Eyes

Author's Note: This story just keeps going, this is a continuation of the last Chapter CAVE IN, there will be one further chapter to go with this one. It's becoming much more than I planned but I love it anyway. Let me know what you think.

Chapter Thirty-Four: Behind Blue Eyes

Eight weeks, just short of two earthly months; that's how long it had taken to bring their favorite, best, and most annoying scientist home: from his nightmare, from the pain, from the darkness and loneliness. It was a picture John was sure he would never forget for his entire life, he vividly remembered being in an Iraqi prison, for John this had almost been worse.

_John slowly walked through the damp halls, never sure if he was stepping through a puddle or someone's blood. The walls were lined with cells. Blood, urine, vomit assaulted his nose as he tried not to turn and run away, he was half afraid of what he might find. Teyla and Ronan, along with AR-2, AR-4 and AR-12 were taking down the rest of the Genii, Major Lorne was several feet behind John._

_He stepped through another puddle and over to one of the bars, a single form was curled tightly into a ball in the far corner. John could only guess how bad he was, but he knew instantly it had to be Rodney, he could just barely make out the black and blue of Rodney's uniform. Moving forward he gripped the bars and pulled at the door. It slipped open to the left._

_"Lorne, watch our sixes okay," John whispered, he stepped into the cell, his already alerted senses rebelled at the strong smell of urine and vomit. He gulped back the bile that had risen in his throat and stepped over to the man in the corner. "Roddy, it's me Johnny," he whispered._

_He heard the soft sobbing, reaching out with a tentative hand, and gently touched Rodney's shoulder. What had once been a muscled shoulder, was now bone skinny, he could feel the shoulder blades and the clavicle as he turned the man. Blood shot blue eyes turned up towards him, the hair was matted down with sweat and blood, his face covered in dirt and what John could easily assume was regurgitation. Tear tracks were streaming down the dirt caked face._

_"Joh…" he whimpered._

_"Hey buddy, I'm here," not bothering to worry about the dirt around him, or anything else for that matter he pulled Rodney into his arms. Rodney instantly clung to John as if there was no tomorrow. What had once been a strong healthy body, was no sickly, his fat gone, he was now bordering anorexic skinny. His once pale face was now almost gray, marred by bruises. He buried his face in his brother's shoulder, sobbing his heart out. John sighed and pulled him closer, leg on either side of the man, John cradled his younger brother in his arms, he lifted his hand to Rodney's head and began to caress the back of the man's neck._

_"I'm here Rodney, I'm right here. We're taking you home buddy," he whispered. Silently vowing to never let his brother out of his sight for at least a year._

_"Major, radio in Teyla, quietly, let her know I've found him, then come in here and help me get him out of here," John called softly._

_Moments later Major Lorne entered the cell. "What can I do to help sir?" Lorne asked._

_"Protect us," that was all he said, John reached under Rodney's knees and behind his shoulders and lifted Rodney from the floor, disheartened by how easy it seemed to lift the man into his arms. Rodney's head flopped against John's chest as he whimpered in pain. "I got ya buddy, breathe easy pal," John took a step, testing out his own legs. _

_Major Lorne, John and Rodney headed for the gate. It took a nearly forty minute hike, two men from Atlantis were still guarding the gate when John reached it, He looked back, still holding Rodney in his arms. Teyla and the rest of her team came running from the woods._

_"Dial!" John yelled._

That had been four days ago, now John sat by Rodney's side, holding his good hand, as he quietly spoke to Rodney, waiting for the wayward scientist to wake up.

John sighed and shook his head, it was amazing what Rodney could endure, anyone who said this scientist was weak was out of their mind. Upon examination he had suffered: a sprained ankle, a fractured tibia, a bruised kidney, an enlarged spleen, four broken ribs, two fractured ribs, a punctured lung, a snapped clavicle, a dislocated shoulder, two broken fingers on his left hand, a severe concussion, and a multitude of bumps, bruises, contusions, and scrapes. He was in rough shape, but what Carson and John worried about the most was his mental state.

The Genii had done quite a job on him, but John worried they would ever be able to get the scientist back to the arrogant man he had once been. John could remember coming home from nearly ever mission disheartened and terrified for Rodney's sake. Elizabeth hadn't lost hope, more than once she had gone up against Colonel Caldwell to keep the man from announcing Rodney MIA and to stop all searches for him.

John had never felt so helpless in his entire life as the day he had woken up only to hear they had lost Rodney, he wanted nothing more than to hold his brother forever, and let him know that he was safe again.

"Rodney, I know you can hear me buddy, Rod you've gotta wake up pal…"

"He'll wake up when his body is done healing itself," Carson's thick brogue interrupted John's thoughts.

"I know, that whole your mind shuts down to fix your body thing," John said smiling.

"Aye, something like that lad. Maybe you should go get some sleep…"

"I spent three weeks resting and another two months looking for him…I'm not quite ready to let go now that we've found him. He could have died, and for whatever reason he's very much alive and still here."

"Someone or something is watchin' over him," whispered Carson.

"Carson, he is going to wake up…right?"

"I couldn't be led to believe otherwise John, Rodney is too stubborn to let someone like Koyla destroy him now, after all we've been through. If he was that weak he would have died a long time ago."

"Why is it always him?" whispered John as he looked at Rodney's sleeping face.

"Wish I knew lad, wish I knew…although I'm fairly sure he'd prefer to be on that bed than to be in your seat waiting for his brother to wake up."

"I know…" John sighed and shook his head, this seemed to be happening to them all too often now.

"I'll be in me office if ya need me lad," Carson headed out of the room.

John sighed again and smiled softly "What is it about you that makes you…you? Everyone hated you, you could drive a damn saint up the wall…hell you could probably drive God himself up a wall…but suddenly the minute you get hurt everyone cares, everyone's concerned. You realize how needed you are, not just physically, but I mean really needed; your Elizabeth's shoulder, my sanity, and you help Carson keep his medical skills up to par. Although we do need you around here, it's been way too quiet without you these past few months…Lauryn is beside herself, having not seen her daddy in a long time. She misses you…Caldwell wanted to send her state side…I told him as the child's Godfather and uncle I had the call before he did…"

"I…I think I…have the ver…y first di….bs," came the raspy voice from the bed.

John smiled as he looked down on two sets over ocean blue eyes. "Nice to have you back among the land of the living," John grinned as he grasped his younger brother's hand.

"Where?" he mumbled.

"We're on Atlantis Rodney, you're home and you're safe," John promised.

"Koyla?" Rodney asked suddenly looking around with fear evident in his blue eyes.

"He's…gone Rodney, he's not here, I promise your safe," John repeated.

However, this didn't seem to stop the scientist, as the man's breath began to hitch, "CARSON!" John called, recognizing the beginning's of what was probably a panic attack.

"Breathe Rod," cried John as he helped his brother sit up and rubbed his back.

"What happened?" Carson asked as he hurried over to the bed, he was stunned to see Rodney was not only awake, but in the midst of a panic attack.

"I'll get him some sedatives, let him know you're here," Carson said hurriedly.

John quickly tossed off his shoes and climbed up onto the bed, within seconds, his arms were carefully placed around his brother's shoulders, hugging and holding him as Rodney tried to get a hold of his air again.

"Shh, you're afe," John whispered running his hand through Rodney's hair, like their mother had whne they were young after nightmares.

"I…saw…I saw you….you died…" cried Rodney as he grasped to his brother firmly, gripping his brother around the waist and holding on for dear life.

"I'm right here Rodney, we're okay," John continued to croon, rubbing his brother's back soothingly.

Carson came over, a needle in hand, and if things couldn't have possibly gotten worse, they did. Rodney began to fight John and Carson, trying to get away from the needle.

"Hold him still," hissed Carson.

"I can't…"

"He's going to break hurt himself further!" growled Carson.

Rodney cried out as the needle slipped into his arm, and at last he collapsed against his brother, not unconscious, sobbing into the man's shoulder.

"What did they do to you?" whispered John as he looked at Carson, fear written all over his face.

It was dark when Rodney opened his eyes again, calmer this time, blue eyes too sluggish to be darting around. Two hazel green eyes met his in a soft smile, "hey buddy," John said gently taking his brother's hand.

"Home?"

"Yeah, you're home, how do you feel?" John asked gently.

"Like I was run over by a truck…you…you okay?"

"Me? Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" joked John forcing a smile to his face.

"Cave in…saw you…"

"Oh…yeah I'm just fine, we got lucky this time…Rod, do you remember…anything?"

"Uh…vaguely…" lied Rodney.

"Right, well, Carson says you'll be out of here by the end of next week, so lets just focus on getting you better," smiled John gently.

"Sounds like a plan to me…" mumbled Rodney as he closed his eyes again and allowed himself to slip back into a light slumber

Two weeks didn't go fast enough, for anyone, Rodney, John or Carson and his staff. But finally Friday of the next week arrived, and Rodney had done remarkably well in healing quickly, at least in a physical sense. If he was hurting, he was certainly hiding it well from everyone, including John.

"Hey," came a soft voice from behind him, turning Rodney grinned lightly at the sight of Elizabeth, she had visited him several times over the past two weeks. He looked back out at the ocean, he knew what they wanted, everyone wanted to hear what had happened to him, if he was really okay, what he needed. All Rodney wanted to do was forget it had even happened.

"Elizabeth," he whispered.

"It's good to see you up and about, John said you might be out here," she whispered lightly as she came to stand by his side.

"Yeah…I missed this," he murmured, pangs of memories coming back to haunt him.

"I don't want you to think we're trying to attack you…"

"I don't want to see Heightmeyer.."

"Rodney, she can help…"

"No…I can talk to John, or Carson or someone, I…I can't tell her."

"Why?"

"Because no matter how trained she is, no matter what she's heard she won't understand. She'll feel pity, I know John and Carson won't pity me, or feel sorry."

"We don't pity you, we feel bad that you had to go through what you did, but we just want to help you."

"Please Elizabeth…it's going to be hard enough trying to tell John or Carson, but please let me do this in my own time."

She looked down at her hands, her heart told her this was a good idea, to let Rodney figure it out on his own, let him seek the help, but her mind told her he needed something more. "All right, I've giving you guys a month of as it is, we've all been through a bit of trauma between the cave in and your kidnapping. I want you to know we're all here for you, even if you don't say anything, I'm willing to just sit with you… Or even sit for you," she said smiling.

"Yeah…I know, thanks Liz," he replied smiling softly.

"Goodnight Rodney."

"Goodnight Elizabeth," he returned as he watched her head back inside, part of him wanted to scream for her help, to beg for her to come back and hold him, to listen to what he had to say, what he had gone through, but another part knew he had to deal with this on his own.

He sighed as he just stared back out at the water, how much had he missed this place. He didn't have the heart to tell them all the truth, that for the first good month and two weeks he had been totally and completely coherent. Koyla had planned it that way, everyday beating Rodney just to the point of oblivion before leaving him alone just long enough to wonder when someone, anybody would come and care for him, tell him he was still worth something to someone.

Those had been very lonely weeks, when Rodney was aware of almost every passing moment, aware that his brother could very well be dead, that his friends had no idea where he was or how to find him. Closing his eyes he tried to erase the images from his mind, there was a lot to take care of, a lot to do.

But for now, he would just let the wind blow through his softy hair, past his chilled cheeks and take in the moment of being home.

"What is this?" Elizabeth questioned looking down at the paper Rodney had just handed her. He had only been home for about four weeks, he was showing amazing improvement, but there was something he was hiding.

"It's a request for leave…"

"You just got back," she commented, not meaning for it to sound the way it did.

"I want to go back to earth…for a while."

"How long?"

"I don't know yet."

"Rodney, we need you here, I'm not going to accept you just walking out on Atlantis and not coming back."

"It won't be like that…I just need some time Elizabeth."

"That's the part I have trouble with, Rodney I already told you that you guys all have a month…"

"It's going to take longer than a month to recover from being kidnapped for two months!" He growled, his mind suddenly returned to him as he looked down at the floor, "Please Elizabeth…I can't stay here right now…"

"Rodney…"

"I'll go with him Elizabeth," came John's voice from behind them. He stepped forward and tossed an identical sheet on her desk next to Rodney's.

She looked between the two men and shook her head, "no, I can't. I need you both…"

"Elizabeth," came Carson's voice, "I'm ordering all three of us indefinite leave…"

"Now wait a damn minute there is now way I can run this city without my three chiefs of staff. How do you plan on me survive without the three of you? Incase you haven't noticed I can't exactly run this place without you!"

"Elizabeth, for once this isn't going to be argued…Rodney needs a chance to get past what has happened…he needs someone to be there for him, and John needs to go home with him to help him get through this. And I need to go so I can monitor their conditions. Elizabeth it may be the only way for any of us to ever be able to get back to normal."

Elizabeth looked down at the desk and sighed, "All right, I will grant you all the leave, but try not to take too long, Caldwell will be all to happy to know you've left. And take care of yourselves," she said eyeing her three best friends.

"Elizabeth…" Rodney stopped.

Standing she walked around her desk to him and instantly pulled him into a tight hug, "you take care of yourself okay, I want you back. I didn't spend two months worrying my ass off about you to lose you again," pulling away she pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"I…" he stopped and smiled, reaching out he gently caressed his cheek, "thank you," he whispered pressing a kiss to her cheek in return.

"Take care of each other."

They wasted no time, the wormhole engaged and they stepped through the event horizon. Elizabeth watched with Teyla by her side, "you fear for him?" Teyla questioned.

"I fear every time I watch them step through that wormhole…don't you?"

"It is impossible not to worry about those you love."

"I didn't say anything out loving him."

"But you do?"

"Yes…I do."

"Welcome home," came Samantha Carter's voice as she smiled over at them gently.

"Hi Sam," Rodney said accepting the gentle hug, returning it with little enthusiasm.

John looked around and smiled as he and Carson stepped in behind their friend. Sam nodded softly, "we've reserved a hotel for you guys tonight, and anything you else can be set up within minutes…"

"Actually ma'am…" John began, "we're going to go without help from the Air Force, we've all got some stuff to do."

"Very well, let us know if you need anything," Sam replied smiling gently.

"I feel like a burden," came Rodney's quiet voice from the large bed in the hotel room. He was spread out on the bed closest to the bathroom. Carson was sitting under a light in a nice chair reading quietly, while John finished getting ready for bed.

"You're not Rodney," came Carson's simply reply.

"Oh yeah, Elizabeth didn't even want to let us go, do you realize how helpless I feel right now. I can't even sleep…" mumbled Rodney.

"Rod, for once in your life, please just ask us for help, that's why we're here. And I don't just mean that's why Carson and I are here, that's why we're on earth. It's time we all took a break, relaxed from the world around us. It's going to hurt for awhile, we're here to help you through the hurt."

"By invading your mother's home, your wife's life and my sister's family?"

"By surrounding you with all the things in the world you can want and love."

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't know Elizabeth and Lauryn would be here," he joked.

Carson smiled at John, if Rodney was starting to joke again then he was doing better.

"John…what happened?" Rodney asked suddenly.

"What do you mean?" John asked sitting down on the second bed.

"I mean what happened, the last thing I remember was seeing a cave in, we thought you were dead for sure."

"Everyone else thought it too…" replied John quietly.

_"Get them out of there!" Elizabeth called frantically as she watched the her men and women begin to pull the rocks away, "where is Carson…"_

_"Right here lass," came a grumble from behind her._

_"My God what happened!" she asked as she rushed over to his side looking at him._

_"I got…hit with a dart…Rodney is gone, I'm sorry Elizabeth."_

_"Teyla, take two men with you and go search everywhere! Threaten the king if you have to, I won't lose my two best men over him."_

_Teyla simply nodded and hurried off. Elizabeth watched then turned back to the mines, she covered her mouth, surveying the area, Carson looked terrible. "Carson…this isn't your fault," she whispered._

_"Aye, you say it, but right now your mind doesn't believe it," mumbled Carson._

_"We'll find him," she said gently gripping his hand._

"Obviously they got you out…Carson this wasn't your fault," Rodney said suddenly.

Carson nodded as he sat down on the third cot in the room and looked at his two best friends, the three of them made quite a group, they're friend was different, unheard of, and special, "Aye, I know that now lad, but I'll always feel bad, I was supposed to care for ya."

"I'm safe now," whispered Rodney.

"Aye safe as long as your mind isn't sleeping."

"What happened Rodney?" John asked, unsure how else to approach the subject.

Rodney sighed and shrugged, "a lot of it was just desire to gain revenge against us, a lot of it was just beating me to get his jollies."

"I'm sorry Rodney."

"He told me you guys wouldn't come…and for awhile I knew he was lying, for a long time…but then I started to wonder, I started to have doubts, and that's when he started causing more damage."

John came over and sat beside his brother, "we did come, we did find you and you are safe here."

"Thank you guys," Rodney replied.

"That's what brothers are for," Carson whispered.

TBC


	35. The Vacation

Author's Note: Now before any of you ask, remember this Ankin Skywalker's mother willingly gave him up so her son could have a better life. Cheryl isn't much different, she's aware of what she's giving up, but if it means her son is happy she will do anything for him. I hope you enjoy this chapter, I tried to make it as good as possible without making it sound slashy since this story is not meant to be slash. Anyway hope you enjoy it, trying to find an idea for Lauryn and Rodney, seeing as I haven't put them together for awhile, I'm sure some of you are wondering when I'm going to be writing "Lost Boys" My current plan is to write shortly here then post it shortly before I write the epsiode right after it which is the contiuation of it. So not until January, however I plan to post until then for this story.

Chapter Thirty-Five: The Vacation

Their first three or four days back on earth, the three friends spent most of the time just hanging around, going to bars, drinking beer, eating out on the Air Force's bill, enjoying their time off together. Really relaxing together.

Nights were spent calming Rodney from nightmares and night terrors, while they slept in till mid afternoon. Rodney had slept until two one day, which was usually unheard of for the wayward scientist.

On Saturday of the first weekend John had plane tickets reserved for a round trip to Scotland, their first stop on the trip. They would spend at least three or four days with Mrs. Beckett, who was more than willing to house the Carson and Rodney in for a week if they needed it. John, on the other hand was heading to Cheryl's house. John had made a promise many years down the road and intended to keep it…hopefully.

After Scotland, the Carson and Rodney would head home and visit Jeannie's family for a little while, and then when they were finally ready they would head to Cheryl's.

Rodney was relatively calm most of the plane ride over to Scotland, when they finally landed and headed just outside of the sweet little town. Carson parked the car in the driveway and pulled out his key to allow himself in.

It was a simple house, large enough for three children and parents, but perhaps not large enough for the three of them. Maggie Beckett was already on the other side of the door, prepared to greet the boys. Carson had told her all about Rodney, and a little about his current situation, both the doctor and the Colonel felt that some good home cooking, and motherly love would do him a world of good.

"Hi mum," Carson said as he hugged the woman who had raised him. She smiled and gently patted him on the cheeks.

"And you must be Rodney, come in," she led them through the house. "I want you to know you are all welcome here any time," she said smiling softly at them.

She was quite a woman, Rodney found himself thinking, more than willing to take in her son and two strangers. Although, Rodney had a pretty good feeling that Maggie Beckett was similar to his and John's mother, she was probably fairly tough too, after all she raised three children, and while Rodney only knew Carson, he knew that Maggie must be a good mother.

That evening, shortly after an amazing dinner made by Maggie, Rodney decided to take a walk. Carson opted for a nice hot shower, saying he would find his friend after his shower. Nearly twenty minutes later, Carson stepped up to his friend, who sat at the edge of a small hill, over looking some mountains, and a small river, it wasn't far from the back of their property. Carson smiled, he had loved to come out here. As a boy he had always come own here when he was angry, worried or frustrated…he had spent three weeks of his life down here almost non-stop after the death of his father.

"You okay?" Carson asked the inevitable question, he knew the answer but he needed to ask it.

"Thinking…I've been doing a lot of it lately…"

"Thinking is good sometimes, Rodney, we're here if you need to talk."

"I honestly thought that John was dead…it was one of the few reasons I kept going in Koyla's hands. I couldn't die with him…"

"Have you thought about coming home to Atlantis?"

"Some…I'm not sure what value I would be at this point," Rodney said softly as he looked out of the beauty of Scotland.

"Elizabeth was right, we need you Rodney…Lauryn needs you."

"What good am I if I'm always going to be looking over my shoulder, if I'm always scared. If I can't even trust myself anymore…I obviously can't take care of myself anymore, we don't trust out instincts and it gets us in trouble."

"Rodney, we all have moments where we doubt ourselves…"

"Constantly? Carson, I haven't stopped doubting myself since…I blew up half a solar system."

"You made mistakes, we all do, but that's not reason to give up one something I know you've dreamed about every day since you were a boy. John has told me about you guys as kids, he told me you always wanted to travel to different worlds, you are now Rodney. That's something most people don't get to say. You're making a difference in the…galaxy. Good grief Rodney, look at Lauryn, if you don't think you make a difference she's the perfect example. You certainly make a difference to her, ever day of her wee life."

"A lot has changed since the Wraith's attack," whispered Rodney.

"Yes, and a lot more will change, let's face it Rodney, at lot has changed since the day you and I met. I'd like to think we've become friends."

"Best friends," Rodney murmured without meeting his friend's eyes.

"You're a good man Rodney, don't let someone like Koyla bring you down because he's so weak that he has to physically hurt you. You've come far, you've got more friends than you've had in a long time, and you enjoy life more than you ever have before."

"It's suddenly all a little more meaningless to me...like I'm out there trying to do good things, and suddenly I see that people like Koyla will always be around, making it twice as hard for me to make a difference."

"But it's people like you who can help us stand up against him. We've come a long way Rodney, but we can't go any further without you on our side...without you in Atlantis."

"I barely remember even arriving back..." mumbled Rodney.

"I can..."

_"ELIZABETH! We've got Rodney, he's in really bad shape, have Beckett come with a litter," John yelled, he wasn't going to lose his little brother now, not after having just gotten him back. _

_John stepped through the wormhole first, followed closely by Major Lorne, Teyla and several other Atlantis Personnel. Beckett was just running into the gate room when he spotted John, wet, dripping with sweat, looking terrible, holding a mere image of what was once their Rodney McKay. _

_He was soaked, Beckett was fairly sure that most of it was unfortunately vomit and urine from the smell, but he took a deep breathe and started screaming out orders as John carefully lowered the unconscious scientist into the little, "He's in shock," Carson called as he lifted up the litter. He eyed John who was suddenly at the other end._

_"Lad..." Carson began._

_"No arguments Doc, I've waited two months to see my brother, I'm not suddenly letting go _

_now, you tell me how he is, then I'll worry about getting clean."_

_"Very well Colonel..."_

_Carson rushed around giving orders, finally after about ten minutes he handed John a sponge and some warm water, "get him clean, as clean as you can, all cuts, bruises anything bleeding wash gently with warm water and soap, then clean his face carefully, then if you feel comfortable to go further clean his arms and chest. The nurses or I can do the rest, just try to get some of this...grime off the poor boy."_

_"Okay," John gently took the sponge and began what could easily be described as dirty work. He headed for the head wound first, gently dabbing at that until it was a rigid cut. Then began to work on the rest of Rodney's face, as gentle as he could be as he cleaned off the tear tracks and dirt from the man's swollen face. Then moved to his neck and arms and his chest to the point of Rodney's waist band. He knew what Carson was afraid of, and John was in no hurry to find out if Koyla had gone beyond beating his brother, so he solely worked on cleaning off his brother's upper body. Never once did Rodney stir during his bath, the occasional moan when John hit a nasty bruise, but he remained out of it most of the time. _

_"Thank you Colonel, now do me a favor, go take a shower, not a long one, but just take one," Carson said simply. _

_John nodded, and hesitantly left his brother's side. While Carson went back to working on his friend, stitching him up, finding the bath, looking over him for anything else they had to be worried about, casting his broken bones. _

"It's amazing how much you can come to miss someone when they're gone for a long time, for the first few hours I had someone coming every few minuets to check on you, see how you were doing, if you were awake yet. Then of course John never left, and Teyla was there most of the time. Ronan even sat with ya a wee bit."

"I had to survive...I had to know if he was alive...if I'd ever see my brother again..."

"I know lad, and he is alive."

"How badly was he hurt?"

"Actually he was one of the few who walked out practically unscathed, he had a few bruises, a minor concussion and a sprained wrist, but as soon as he heard what had happened to you...it didn't seem to matter anymore."

"They were going to kill me..."

"Rodney..."

"No, I had heard them talking about it, Koyla ordered one of his men...who I'm fairly sure wanted more than to torture me physically, to do whatever he pleased with me and then kill me. If you'd guys hadn't come when you did...I would have died that night."

"Rodney, we did come, and you're going to be fine."

"I know...but...I just can't help but imagine what might have happened..."

"Rape?"

"Possibly, probably...it was definitely on my mind, and no doubt on a few of theirs. You know what's worse...I wasn't scared...honestly, I mean I felt like if I were going to die then I'd rather die with dignity then screaming like a two year old...I didn't scream much, cried a few times, but certainly not in front of them...Part of me was praying, that if something did happen I would die or be completely out of it..."

"I'm sad to say I've seen it before, men and women...I think it destroys a part of the person..."

"I'm sure it does, it's pretty hard to accept..."

"They didn't..."

"No, like I said I'm sure they thought about it...probably as a last resort, but no, it never happened."

"Good."

"Part of me still feels dirty, even though it didn't."

"It's not unusual, I'm fairly sure John felt the same way after his time in the Iraqi prison."

"On the plus side I think your mom likes me," Rodney said grinning softly.

Carson chuckled, "she likes everyone."

"She's pretty cool."

"Aye that she is."

"I don't know how you do it, leave her behind and come back to Atlantis."

"It's hard, but I know she wouldn't want me any other way, she knows I'm where I finally want to be, and she wouldn't want that taken away."

"Your a good man Carson."

"You're not too bad yourself," Carson said smiling, "Come on Rod, lets get inside," it was the first time Carson had ever used his best friend's nick name, but Rodney didn't hesitate to answer to it.

With bags on their shoulders, and suitcases in their hands, Maggie Beckett smiled softly as she pressed a kiss to Rodney's cheek, "now you take care of yourself lad, and ye watch out fer me Carson too," she said patting Rodney's cheek.

"Don't worry Mrs. Beckett, your son can take care of himself just fine, but I'll watch him I promise," Rodney said grinning. Four days in Scotland and another two traveling a little bit further to other beautiful areas had really brought a sense of calm and normality back to Rodney's world. He couldn't help but find peace in a place as beautiful as Scotland. He and Carson had done a good amount of talking and had finally made his decisions about what to do.

"Well son, I'm sure I'll see you soon," whispered Maggie as she hugged her eldest son close. He smiled and rubbed her back.

"Aye mum, few months perhaps, six at the most…I'll try to be home for Christmas," he said looking at her.

"Just come back," she replied pressing a kiss to his forehead.

"So… Rodney, where to now?" Carson said as he and his best friend climbed into the car a few minutes later.

"Cheryl's house…John's probably fighting in the middle of a custody battle," mumbled Rodney.

"What is he trying to do?"

"Remember when we went into the future because of the solar flare…well he met his son, quite a kid I must admit, a little…bitter, John thinks maybe if Johnny were raised by his real father that he would turn out better. Johnny admitted to both John and I that he and his step-father never got along very well."

"So he's trying to gain custody of a child that barely knows him?"

"Essentially yes," replied Rodney.

"Your brother is a fool," chuckled Carson.

"I know," returned Rodney grinning.

Rodney pulled the SUV in front of the house as he looked up at the beautiful two story house, and he smiled, outside John was playing with both his seven year old son and eight year old daughter. John's arms were wrapped tightly around a football as his son and daughter piled on top of him trying to take it from him. Cheryl smiled from where she stood on the porch watching. She looked up at the black SUV and smiled.

"Rodney, it's wonderful to see you again," Cheryl said as the two men approached her. Rodney smiled and embraced her, thrilled to see she seemed to be handling everything fine.

"Cheryl, this is John and my friend Carson Beckett, Carson this is Cheryl."

"Nice to meet you," she said shaking the Scot's hand.

"Aye and you…" replied Carson.

"So…uh what's going on?" Rodney couldn't resist asking.

"Well, your brother stopped in a few days back…apparently he wants to take Little Johnny with him…to wherever you guys live…."

"And?"

"And…I asked Johnny what he wanted, John said he couldn't tell me everything, but he could tell Johnny….so he told Johnny, and Johnny was a very big boy about it. He told his daddy that he would consider it, but he wanted to make sure it was okay first…"

"And?" Rodney asked.

"He's still thinking, he and Lisa have been getting to know John for the past few days…I don't know who I'm kidding, Johnny doesn't get along with Rob at all, the two are always screaming…Johnny knows John is his daddy and ever since meeting him and finding out his daddy was in the air force…well you can imagine," she whispered softly.

"He would be safe Cheryl, I have a daughter there, she's just an infant and she's well cared for at all times. He would never be in any serious danger, and if for some reason he was we would send him straight home."

"I know Rodney, and believe me that means a lot to me…it's just…"

"He's our son," came Carson's soft reply.

"Yeah… But I told him it was up to him to make the adult decision, and if that means he wants to go with his dad…then I'll let him go."

"I'll watch out for both of them," Rodney said simply.

Cheryl smiled gently and gripped his hand gently, "thank you, and I'll hold you to that."

"Hey guys!" John called as he came up the steps with Lisa at his side and Johnny in his arms.

"Hey!" Rodney said as Lisa hugged him automatically. Surprised by this he returned the hug with a smile and gently patted her on the head. "Hey Johnny, how's it going?" he asked as his nephew smiled at him.

"Good…Uncle Rodney…if I go with you guys…will I be allowed to visit mommy?" the little boy asked.

Cheryl smiled, as did John and Carson, but Rodney surprised them all as he lifted Johnny into his arms and looked seriously at him, "Johnny, if you want to see mommy then you will see mommy, you may not be able to see her everyday, but you can see her lots, I promise okay?" Johnny nodded and wrapped his arms around Rodney's neck.

John grinned as he watched Rodney soak up the love, if there was one thing Rodney needed right now it was the innocence and love radiating from the little boy.

"Mommy…I think I'd like to go with daddy," the boy said as if it was the easiest decision.

"Johnny, if you want to go, then you can go," she said, trying not to show how sad she was at the thought.

"I'd like to go…I don't like arguing with Rob, I wanna be with my real dad…" he explained looking at John.

"Then you can go honey," she said gently, "why don't you go and pack some clothes, maybe Uncle Carson and Uncle Rodney would like to help you?"

The boy grinned as he was placed on the ground, and quickly led Rodney, Lisa and Carson into the house to help him pack. "We'll be back for Christmas…Cheryl…."

"John…you take care of that little boy, truth is he'll be happier with you than here. He's too much like you John, he needs to be busy, he needs to have something to do all the time, he needs to see the world…or more…he needs a real father who can really be there for him, who really wants to be there for him. Rob…he tries but he's not Johnny's father and…Johnny knows it. They don't get along, at least with you I know he's got a better chance of having a good childhood and not going bad. I told you when you came here that if he said he was okay with it, and preferred to be with you then I wasn't going to put up a fight. We never went to court John; there was a reason for that, and it's going to stay that way, it only seems fair that you get at least one of your children."

"I'm sorry Cheryl," he whispered as he pulled her into a tight hug. She sighed as she leaned her head against his chest.

"He'll be happier John, and that's all I want for my children's lives, is for them to be happy and healthy."

John clasped his son's hand tightly in his, the little brown haired boy looking back at his mother and waving goodbye. He hadn't even cried, in fact he seemed excited. Jon reached out and lifted his son into the back of the SUV. "Ready for the ride of your life buddy?" John asked the hazel eyed boy.

"YEAH!" cried the boy smiling. John grinned, rounding the car he got in behind Rodney.

"Now we'll have two Sheppards and two McKays," mumbled Carson as he strapped himself in.

"Just drive Rodney," John said smiling softly.

"Johnny," John called as he escorted his son out of the huge ship, the boy was stunned looking around, "welcome to Atlantis," John said smiling.

The two big eyes just took everything in around him, surveying the area. John smiled as he led his son through Atlantis. They had spent the duration of the trip home explaining everything about Atlantis there was to explain. Johnny was fully caught up on everything he needed to know, and so far hadn't shown any sign of wanting to turn back, in fact he still seemed quite eager about it. Now as Johnny clasped his father's hand he really got the full affect of what his father had been talking about.

"Welcome home boys," came Elizabeth's voice from in front of them.

Rodney grinned when he spotted his little girl in her arms, as if he hadn't seen the child in months, which was practically true, he hurried over to her side and whisked the girl into his arms, pressing a kiss to her chubby cheeks, causing the little infant to giggle in delight.

"See Liz, told you we'd bring him home," John said smiling as he and Carson stepped up to either side of Rodney and Elizabeth.

"And thank you again," she said smiling, she looked down at the boy, grinning, the child looked just like John. "You must be Johnny," she said kneeling down and holding out her hand.

"Hi! Are you Doctor Weir?" he asked.

"I am, but you can call me Elizabeth."

"Wow! This place is so cool!" Johnny said grinning.

"Well you've only seen part of it buddy," John said grinning.

"There's more?" two hazel eyes looked up at his father.

"Oh yeah…much more," grinned Rodney as he answered the boy's question.


	36. Traditions and Memories

Author's Note: Most of these traditions mentioned come from traditions my friends and I have. I actually have a friend who eats dinner on Thursday, then on that Saturday in the afternoon she has a pie day, where they eat desserts, or at least pies. I have a tradition in my family that we all say one thing we're thankful for, and then we mention one speical prayer we want heard. Traditions are important, and I tried to make this fun as possible, enjoy!

Chapter Thirty-Six: Traditions and Memories

Angel…that's what all of Atlantis had come to see the smallest member of the Stargate Atlantis team. At nearly eleven months old she was showing her hyperactive side, as well as her tendency for getting into trouble like her daddy. She knew just how to test her daddy to his limits already.

"Dadda!" came the cry from the other room. Rodney rolled his eyes, his daughter had long since mastered the ability to call for him, as well as say other small words, something she had down pat nearly two months ago. He wandered into the bedroom, where his daughter was holding herself up by the railing in her crib.

He wasn't looking forward to having to child proof the room, and he certainly didn't want to think about the rest of Atlantis. Part of him feared he would have to lock her up in their room for the rest of her natural life to keep her safe.

"What?" he said looking at her as he held out his hands as if to ask what she wanted.

"C'okie!" she cried grinning from ear to ear.

"Cookie? Now little miss, you know better than that, what do you want for breakfast?" he asked as he moved closer to the crib. He was encouraging her speaking well as much as he could, sadly he had resorted to giving her cookies when she got really big words right, however that turned out to be a bad idea when she had gone around to the entire chief of staff asking for a c'okie from all of them. To say the least that evening Carson was treating one large tummy ache for a small infant.

"C'okie!" she cried again, pouting as she jutted out her lower lip. Rodney rolled his eyes as it began to tremble slightly.

"Runt," he mumbled as he reached into the crib. Grabbing her under the arms he hoisted her high in the air, getting a loud squeal out of her before bringing her down to rest against his hip.

He had gotten used to having such a little character in his life, used to always having her around. In fact most of Atlantis had by the time. Every man, woman and alien had a soft spot for the little angel. Although he often called her devil or runt when she was being especially ornery.

He dropped a kiss to her forehead then carried her out of the room and towards the cafeteria. He wasn't surprised to see Carson and Elizabeth already sitting and eating. Smiling he headed over to them. "Good morning Elizabeth, Carson," he greeted.

"Morning Rod," Carson replied grinning as he took the baby out of her daddy's arms. "How's the big girl?" he said bouncing her one his knee.

"Car," she grinned clapping her hands.

"Good, keep her for a minute," Rodney said as he squeezed Elizabeth's shoulders and headed off into line to get himself and his little girl something to eat.

Seconds later John came in, Johnny bounding in front of him, right up to his Uncle Rodney, who easily swooped him up into his arms in one fell swoop. "How's my favorite nephew?" he asked as he moved down the line.

"I'm your only nephew," grinned the seven year old. Nodding Rodney gently placed the boy back on his feet and smiled in return.

"I know, but don't tell the others that," he replied.

Johnny grinned and nodded. Soon the three joined Carson, Liz and Lauryn back at the table. Teyla arrived a few moments later, and the morning began like most mornings began. Talk of missions bother future and past, talk of the kids, talk of the holidays which were coming up far too quickly for everyone's taste.

"Hey, I have a brilliant idea, since most of us are going home for Christmas this year…why don't we have Thanksgiving here this year?" suggested John grinning.

"What is Thanksgiving?" Teyla asked.

"It's…well it's the holiday we celebrate in our country, when the people from England sat down and joined a nice dinner full of good food and good times with the Native Americans. I'll tell you the whole story another day, but essentially it was the celebration of two cultures being able to sit down together over a mighty feast and celebrate that they were alive," explained Rodney.

"You know, that sounds like a great idea…we could do it on the mainland…Rodney could the shield hold for a few hours?"

"Sure we should leave some people here to watch over Atlantis…"

"There are people who don't celebrate Thanksgiving here Rodney, shouldn't be a problem, and we'll offer to give everyone who stays here a chance for a really nice dinner of Atlantis too, that way we all get a holiday."

"I have a better idea, why don't we just take everyone, but the shield up for a few hours, it'll be fine, we'll celebrate just like the pilgrims and Native Americans, and we'll have a celebratory dinner with the Athosians, celebrate another year here on Atlantis and another year having survived the Wraith," Elizabeth said grinning.

"Sounds great," Carson piped up.

"I will speak with my people, but this…Thanksgiving sounds like quite a wonderful tradition, I am sure we'll be happy to join you in such a day."

"Good, it's settled then, what's today's date?" asked Elizabeth.

"November…19th…"

"Great, we'll plan it for the twenty-fourth, just like it is on earth, the fourth Thursday of November."

"That truly sounds wonderful," Teyla spoke up smiling and nodded.

The last few couple days before the Thanksgiving dinner were pleasant ones. Carson had made the suggestion of the night crew get one day off to enjoy their time, then the day crew took one day off and they all headed to one of the main rooms, and soon they were all seated to watch a movie.

"Did you guys have any Thanksgiving traditions?" Elizabeth asked the Carson. Most of the scientists, doctors, and soldiers on the day and afternoon shifts were sitting in the room they had set up as a rec room.

"Well, technically Scotland don't really have thanksgiving the way you all do in the states, but me mum tended to celebrate it anyway, because my father was American…aye we would start with a piece of dessert first, eat that then dive into the dinner, then we'd finish it off with another piece of dessert. It sounds strange but it was always a wonderful time spent around the table." He said smiling softly.

"That sounds fun," grinned Johnny.

"What about you Johnny, do you have any special traditions?"

"My mom and Rob used to have each one of us say a special prayer for someone." Johnny explained. "Daddy…didn't you and Uncle Rod have a special tradition too?"

Rodney and John grinned at one another, "we sure did," replied John grinning. "Every Thanksgiving day it would just be me, dad, mom and Rodney. We'd sit around a full table, with everything on it. Then before we could start eating, mom had us all say one thing we were thankful for, starting with the youngest."

"Then that Saturday we'd all go upstate to our Aunt Kellie's house, where we would have a smaller dinner, then we'd eat dessert, all day. We spent the original Thanksgiving with our closest family, but we always spent the Saturday with the rest of the family pigging out on dessert. It was great," grinned Rodney.

"There was no better way to spend the two days," grinned John.

"That sounds really fun," smiled Elizabeth.

"What about you Liz, any special holiday things you did for Thanksgiving."

"My mother and father bought us each one gift on Thanksgiving, kind of our warm up to Christmas, and then we did the going around the table starting with the youngest of things we were thankful for."

Everyone settled back, some still sharing their holiday treasures and traditions, while others continued to watch the movie. Johnny and Lauryn were both sound asleep between their father and Uncle when the movie came to an end.

Some retired to their rooms, some stayed up to talk. Carson, Teyla, Elizabeth, Rodney and John remained, just enjoy one another's company. "We should start some of our own traditions," Carson commented.

"That's a wonderful idea," grinned Elizabeth.

"It's been a pretty tough years, I think these past few days have really helped pull everyone together," whispered John as he looked at Johnny sleeping soundly in his lap to his brother.

"It's definitely been an eventful year," grinned Rodney, "but we were here for one another…always will be," he looked down at his angel and smiled again.

"I can't believe she's going to be one in a few months," Elizabeth whispered.

"Me either…I honestly feel like a proud parent," he said grinning, "time goes fast, it's hard to believe we've been here for nearly three years now."

"Time certainly does seem to fly," smiled Elizabeth.

"Well…we should get these two to bed," John whispered.

"Goodnight everyone," Rodney said lifting his girl into his arms, John did the same. Carson followed closely behind, leaving Teyla and Elizabeth alone.

"Do you miss earth?"

"Not as much as I should," Elizabeth replied with a small smile.

"Would it not be a good idea to share with him how you feel?"

"Probably some day…but right now isn't the right time… for either of us. He's got his daughter to raise, and he's still trying to get his life back to some normality after everything that had happened…I can't tell him now…besides it wouldn't work."

"Why not?"

"We're leaders…Just like John and Carson, and you…we're the leaders of this city…if we start getting involved with each other people will think we're giving favorability to that person…and it's hard enough to do this job."

"Perhaps, but is it not worth it to be happy?"

"I don't know how happy I would be…would you be any happier with John than you are just seeing him all the time. We see John and Rodney every day, at least two or three times…I'm content with that…I know when he's hurt, when he's safe, when he's happy, sad or scared. I know that if he needs someone to come to and Carson can't help him, I can. I know when I need a shoulder to lean on, someone to yell and argue with, someone to tell me I'm smart and someone to cry with…I know it's him. He protects me…he keeps me wanting to do my job here…"

"You fear this would change?"

"Yeah…I suppose I do in some small way….I love him….but I love him as a friend before I love him romantically. Besides, on day this mission will end…and perhaps we can move to the mainland…"

"You would not move back to Earth…"

"I probably won't…I…this is my home now, this is where my family is."

"I agree…I have never felt so…as home anywhere."

"Isn't it great," grinned Elizabeth, "well…we should get to bed as well, lots to do tomorrow."

"Elizabeth…" Teyla spoke, it was rare for the Athosian to call her by her first name, Elizabeth turned and smiled at her friend. Within moments she had moved close and pulled her friend into a hug.

"Thank you Teyla, for becoming a part of this family."

"Thank you for accepting me into this family," Teyla replied.

The two friends separated, perhaps on a new level of understand and went on their way to their quarters. Neither would forget their conversation, or the fact that they had gained a sister that night.

The fixings were beautiful and grand, the Athosians had truly come through, they had even been careful about citrus for a certain scientist.

At ten that morning Rodney had placed the shield up, making sure he was the only one who could take it down. They all took off in jumpers, as many as they could fit into one, and headed over to the mainland. It was a grand feast. Full over conversation, laughter and excitement. All the Athosians joined them as well. Johnny got to meet Jinto and Wex, who John feared would soon become his life long friends.

Elizabeth created her own tradition as she stood up, with Teyla, John and one Halling, "many of us our various traditions, however today we start a new one as we join the Athosians and celebrate our time here on Atlantis, this is a chance for us to get to know one another and develop the bond that was once there between ourselves and the Athosians. Thank you to all of you who helped make this bountiful table in front of us. I also realize that many of us are from different religions, and beliefs, but I'm sure you can all sympathize with me as I ask to grasp the hand next to you, so we can at least thank whoever is listening for this day."

Elizabeth was pleased when everyone around the table gripped the hand of whoever sat next to them, "We thank the powers that be for bringing us together today and giving us this feast, please guide us through another year," some whispered 'amen'. Others just dropped the hands, and some lingered t hold longer.

"Let's dig in everyone," John said grinning.

Even after the huge feast, the friends sat around the table, getting to know the Athosians, as well as getting a chance to talk to one another. There were hikes, walks, long talks. It was growing dark before Atlantis finally rounded all their people up, climbed back onto the puddle jumpers and made their way back home.

As the expedition headed off to their respectful quarters, Rodney carrying his daughter, John's son sleeping against his shoulder, Elizabeth stopped Rodney for a moment and smiled. "I just wanted to thank you for…for finding away for everyone to enjoy this beautiful day."

"Well it was your idea, I just provided the best way. Your welcome Elizabeth."

"Happy Thanksgiving Rodney," she said squeezing his arm.

"Happy Turkey day Liz," he replied grinning as he headed off towards his quarters. She smiled, looking down at the floor she shook her head.


	37. Her Boys

Author's Note: We've had a wee bit of an outbreak of appendicitis here at college, two people within weeks of each other supposedly had appendix problems, so this came to me one night and I thought hmm...well I don't know who to torture. Once again I kind of wanted to give our boysa break, after all it's not nice to hurt Rodney and John all the time. So anyway this chapter and the next one are kind of laid back and going further into relationships. Please realize this story isn't meant to be McWeir, there are hints, but lets face it, they can't be in a relationship, especially if I'm using this along with the TV show, it wouldn't work. So until McWeir and Sheyla happens in the TV show, it won't really ever happen on this.

Thirty-Seven: Her Boys

She was desperately trying to ignore the constant ache in her side and stomach, sometimes a stronger pain and other times simply a dull ache. Hoping by some random chance that lunch just hadn't agreed with her today: today was one of those…many days….when she didn't have time for a headache, or any other ache or pain that seemed to come with getting older.

Rodney was back, wreaking havoc on his scientists in their labs, Carson had taken him of bed rest, and soon the man would be back on active duty, but until then he was causing chaos among his co-workers. Meanwhile, Carson was stacked up high with ten people who decided to get caught in the crossfire. Teams twelve and five had come back three hours ago with various injuries from another world, they were lucky to have made it back at all. Then Teyla and John left for the mainland, taking Johnny and Lauryn with them to gather some things, including various medicines, herbs, and crops from the Athosians.

So here she was, sitting at her desk, with no time to be feeling sick, trying to concentrate on the work in front of her and the stabbing pain radiating through her side. She kneaded her temples slowly, knowing full well that she had a fever and was probably putting herself in some danger by not letting Carson at least know something was wrong.

She had felt like this for days, or at least two by now, it had started just below her belly button, but now it was radiating to her lower right side, and her back. It was the worst case of indigestion she'd ever had. She hadn't eaten much in the past three days, and she was fairly sure that Carson or Rodney was beginning to catch on to her small appetite. She'd thrown up two days in a row now after nearly every meal. She wasn't even sleeping well anymore, she was exhausted and yet sleep wouldn't come, she was worried.

"Dr. Weir…" came the grating voice of Kavanagh from the doorway, she looked up just in time to see the greasy haired, nasally, annoying man come stomping into the room like a four year old refusing to take a nap. Right behind him came a livid looking Rodney McKay, the vein in his neck beginning to pop out, and his face red with anger and obvious aggravation at the man who stood at Weir's door.

"Eliz…"

"Freeze!" she called, before either man could speak. She looked at Rodney, based on his facial expressions and tight body language he was dangerously close to hitting, if not killing the other scientist. She also knew, while was off bed rest, he still was supposed to be taking it easy. "You will not come barging into my office like spoiled little four year olds. Now, calmly…if you please, tell me what is going on," she said sighing.

She watched as Rodney's eyes softened, as he took in all of her appearance, which she was fairly was worse than she seriously felt at the moment. She wasn't listening to Kavanagh as she watched Rodney's reactions. "Kavanagh…shut up," Rodney said suddenly.

"Look you little pompous…" he didn't get to finish, because a second later, Rodney, with strength Elizabeth didn't even know he had, grabbed him by the arm and hauled him out of the room, seconds later she watched Major Lorne escort Kavanagh elsewhere, and Rodney hurried back in the room.

"Are you all right? You look terrible, I can get Beckett…"

There were days when Elizabeth could be stunned by how kind or gentle Rodney was, and if she hadn't felt so terrible, today probably could have been one of those many days.

"No, thank you Rodney, I'm fine," she mumbled, lying through her teeth, and she had no doubt that he could see through her lie.

"No you're not, you look…well like hell."

"Rodney…"

"Liz…"

She sighed as she heard at voice, the voice that told her 'I will not back down'. "Please Rodney, just, just let it go. Now what's going on?"

"Kavanagh just screwed up some wiring in the lower levels, I sent Radek and a couple other scientists down with him to clean up the mess…then I yelled at Kavanagh…he didn't like that…I'm sorry he came up here to bother you," whispered Rodney gently.

"Don't worry Rodney," she sighed and looked down at her computer and shook her head. "It's just been one of those days."

"Well then, take a break, come on, I've got some great stuff to show you…I found this amazing room…"

"Rodney, now's really not the greatest time…I'm so busy…" she shook her head, the pain was getting worse.

"Elizabeth," Rodney came closer to her, he wanted to help her, but he knew Elizabeth. She didn't like help, she liked to do things on her own.

"Rodney, please," she whispered looking at him.

"I ah…I'll just be going," he mumbled and headed out the door.

She watched him go and sighed, wishing she could suddenly call him back in the room, tell him she needed help, tell him she needed Carson. She stood, took quickly as pain ripped through her abdomen and side.

"RODNEY!" she cried out. Two ocean blue eyes stared at her, watching her go down gripping her stomach.

"Elizabeth," he cried as he rushed right back into the room, he knelt beside her, "what's wrong? Where does it hurt," he spoke frantically.

"It hurts," she cried, tears escaping from her eyes, something she had never intended for him to see. She was in too much pain to be stunned when he scooped her up in his arms and headed out the door.

"CARSON!" screamed Rodney as he made his way into the infirmary. Carson took one look at the pair and instantly hurried over to her side.

"What happened?"

"She collapsed…she cried out in pain…" Rodney was frantic with worry as Carson steered him over towards one of the beds.

"Where did she say it hurt?" Carson asked.

"She didn't, but she was clutching her stomach…"

"Okay son, I need you to step aside okay," Carson gently pushed his best friend and surrogate brother out of the way before beginning to examine her. He wasn't at all surprised when she cried out in pain as he gently palpitated the lower right side of her abdomen, "I'm sorry Elizabeth," he whispered as two sets of hazel green eyes looked up at her.

"What…what?" she asked gently.

"I believe you have appendicitis, and judging on the amount of pain…I'd say we've got on emergency surgery to perform," Carson squeezed her hand then looked up, "someone set up for surgery!" he called out.

"What's wrong with her!" Rodney demanded.

"Rodney, calm down, she's got appendicitis, it's pretty bad, but I think we've caught it just in time, try to relax."

"But..but…"

"Rodney, sit down and try to relax, go get some coffee…preferably decaf…" mumbled the doctor as he headed back over to Elizabeth.

"It was a simple procedure son, we went in, opened her up, making three incisions, we then clamped off the two ends, snipped out the swollen appendix, and then patched her back up."

"Is she going to be okay?" Rodney asked as he looked at his best friend.

> > > >

Carson smiled, the operation had taken about an hour, even as emergency surgery they had done it slowly and carefully so to make sure she had few scars and little else to worry about. When he had come out, he had found Rodney sitting in one of the many comfortable chairs Carson had brought in for their new hospital wing. He felt his heart go out to the scientist, there was no question that Rodney was worried and cared for her deeply.

"She's going to be fine, she'll need four or five days to rest here, then another two weeks of light work, no heavy lifting, but she'll live. She's pretty out of it right now, pain killers and all, but you're welcome to go and see her."

"Thanks Carson," Rodney slowly got up and made his way over to one of the near by beds. He gently drew back her curtains and smiled slightly. Her beautiful eyes looked at him. "Hey there boss," he said smiling gently as he picked up her hand.

"How 'm doin?" she asked slurred from the pain-killers.

"You'll live," Rodney answered as he gently pushed some of the hair away from her face. "You scared the hell out of me Liz, I thought something was really wrong."

"Sorry, thank you," she whispered.

"Don't be," he sat down beside her, keeping a grip on his hand and gently ran his hand through her hand mindlessly, unaware of the emotions he was so blindly showing. "Listen, Carson's gonna come in here any minute and tell me that you need some rest, and he's right. You need rest, so close your eyes and try to get some sleep. I'll be back when you wake up," he said gently.

"You should rest too," she replied softly as she smiled weakly at him.

"I will do my best," leaning down he dropped a feather soft kiss to her forehead before heading out of the infirmary.

Carson rounded the curtain and smiled softly at his patient, "how do you feel?" he asked as he picked up her chart, giving it the once over.

"Strange…haven't seen Atlantis from this position really…gives me a whole new respect for what you do…" she sighed.

"Well welcome to my world…and Rodney's…speaking of which, I believe our scientist might be smitten."

"He's my best friend," she mumbled.

"Aye, and sometimes they make the best relationships. But he's right, rest Elizabeth."

"Tired," she replied as she closed her eyes.

As promised when Elizabeth awoke the next day, Rodney McKay sat right by her bed, as well as Teyla and John on the other side. She smiled weakly, "to what do I owe such an honor?" she said smiling as she looked at her friends.

"Well you sit with us when we're sick, or hurt or something so we thought we could return the favor," explained John as he gently squeezed her hand, "you know you really need to take better care of yourself," he said smiling.

"I'm sorry…it's been so busy…"

"We're all busy Liz, but we've all learned to relax afterwards, you've gotta start taking things easier," Rodney said.

"This form you, our mighty king of stress," grinned Elizabeth.

"This isn't about me Liz, it's about you…Carson say your appendicitis was pretty far along, and you were probably suffering the pain for several days. We've talk about this Liz, you must know we care and we're here to help you."

"I'm the leader Rodney, I'm supposed to be strong."

"No, you're a member of this team, you carry as much burden as the rest of us. It's not easy being a leader, and we've all got to deal with it, that's why we all try to stick together. If you're feeling tired or sick or anything, please tell us."

"I suppose I could say the same thing for you guys too…lets face it, we all don't share as much as we probably should…this sucks," she muttered as she tried to pull herself up slightly. Rodney reached out gently placed a pillow behind her, easing her into a more upright position.

"Trust me, we know," grinned John.

"What?" She said smiling softly.

"John was eighteen, and just about to leave for his basic training when his appendix burst," Rodney recalled.

"It's always you two, is there anything normal in your body?" she asked grinning.

"Rodney still has one of his wisdom teeth, he never got all four…" John pointed out.

"John still has his tonsils too," Rodney replied.

"You guys are a wreck," mumbled Elizabeth weakly. John just shrugged and smiled his lopsided grin, "so I guess you guys are in charge for a couple weeks," she said trying to not show the pain in her side from surgery.

"Actually, only about a week…the Doc says you'll be up and around in no time, we'll just be helping you with the work load for a few days," replied John.

"Is it normal…to feel so weak?" she asked sighing as she tried to keep her eyes pried open.

"Aye, it's the drugs and the post surgery exhaustion. Your body was fighting itself, so now it's trying to heal itself. Don't worry, you'll be goin' stir crazy soon enough…and' just between you an' me luv, I'll let you out a wee bit early, if ye promise to actually rest…unlike two others we know," Carson said as he stepped into the small cubical, grinning at his friends as he checked her vitals again.

"So…how am I doin?" Liz asked softly.

"Well, your fever is down, which means no infection. I think you'll live to tell this tale," replied Carson as he took her pulse then offered her a soft smile.

"Comforting," Rodney said softly.

"All right, everyone, our leader needs her rest," Carson said.

"Wait…Rodney, can I speak with you for a moment?" Elizabeth asked.

Carson shot Rodney a warning look, before heading out with Teyla and John. Rodney looked at her and smiled gently as he squeezed her hand. "What's up?"

"I…I just wanted to thank you for helping me," she said gently.

"It wasn't a problem…you're my friend," he replied.

"You said you had great things to show me?"

"Ah…yes, we found a room…that we think might have been made for, well possibly large get-togethers and dances or something. We're looking into it."

"Keep me posted," she smiled.

"Always do…sleep," with a final squeeze he headed out of the door, closing softly behind him.

She smiled gently, leaning her head back against her pillow, her minds drifting over her three guys, she often called them her men. She had once spoken to Samantha Carter about her team, and she could remember Sam smiling softly…

_"They're my guys…it's weird, I've spent eight unbelievable years with these three men…their more than just my friends, their my brothers, my guys. I can't explain it, but there's no one in the world I love or trust more than Teal'c, Jack and Daniel. If I have a problem they're the first ones I call. They've seen me at my best, my worst, my most frightened, my guiltiest, my strongest."_

It was true, Elizabeth could admit, she had her three boys, who knew her inside and out. They understood her like no other, she loved them, she loved being with them. Smiling she felt herself drifting into sleep as she allowed her thoughts traveling over her boys.


	38. I'll Be Home for Christmas

Author's Note: Most of this chapter is pure Christmas fluff, no kisses, no mistletoe, but definate dancing between our favorite characters some snippets of their lives at the end, and all around enjoyment. Obviously I don't own any of these songs at the end, but hopefully you find them as approprite as I did. Enjoy this chapter guys, the next one you get will be shortly after Christmas, and then after that Lost Boys and The Hive, then we'll be on a roll, becuase I've been churning chapter after chapter out and I'm way ahead, as soon as I write The hive into the chapter you'll be back to getting a chapter every three or four days for awhile :) Merry Christmas Early!

Chapter Thirty-Eight: I'll Be Home for Christmas

With Christmas seemingly right around the corner, Elizabeth was all too happy to finally be released and back on duty before the first December, granted she was on light work, but she wasn't worried. She sighed softly as she continued to make her way through the hallways.

Christmas was in twenty-five days and counting, well as far as Carson was concerned. Elizabeth had already discussed it in depth with several of her faculty, there was no question that most of the people on Atlantis wanted to go home for the holidays, and there was no way everyone could go at once. She had done it in rounds so far, she had set it for a specific reason, and the day after thanksgiving she sent the third shift home for the holidays. They would stay for a week, and then they would come home on the Daedalus. Then on the eighteenth the second shift would go home, and then finally shortly before Christmas any of the first shift people who wanted to go.

"Good morning Carson," Elizabeth said with a smile on her face as she greeted her top doctor and closest friend.

"Morning Elizabeth, I was just on my way to see ya."

"Really?"

"Aye…I was wonderin' what ye had planned for Christmas?"

"Well…ah, actually I don't know just yet. My brother invited me to join him…but…well…" she shrugged.

"What?"

"He's going to his in-laws, and I don't want to intrude…so I'll probably enjoy a nice quiet Christmas here on Atlantis. What about you? Heading home to see your mother?"

"Aye, I made a promise I'd be home…although I'd appreciate it if you'd find out what a certain scientist is plannin', my mum would love to have him if he isn't goin' home."

"Ah, and you can't talk to him because?"

"He threw me out of his lab…"

"Really?"

"John's been busy with Johnny, and I'm not the most willing person in the world when it comes to activating ancient technology…he threw me out yesterday afternoon."

"I'll talk to him Carson, meanwhile take a day off," she said smiling.

> > > >

She approached his labs and felt a smile grace her face as he heard his loud and normal rants, it was nice to finally have her Rodney McKay back. It had been quite some time since she had last heard him really giving some scientist a good yelling. It had been a long time since she had even been down to the labs.

"Rodney," she greeted, a large grin on her face.

Eyes swiveled up to meet hers, and a firm smile crossed his own features as he tossed one final retort at the younger scientist and glared at the soon retreating back, "to what do I owe the pleasure?" he asked taking a seatbehind his desk.

"Actually, I was wondering what you were planning for the holidays?"

"Oh…well, to be honest I'm thinking about staying here."

"Really, why not Jeannie?"

"I don't know…she'd ask questions, and I can't leave Lauryn here alone…besides she's got her own family to worry about, I can see her another time."

"What happened Rodney?"

"Nothing…she and I just aren't conversing at the moment."

"Rodney, I may have only known you for three years, but I do know you…"

"She hasn't responded to any of my letters, not before…before the kidnapping or after…"

"Aren't you worried?"

"No…I called her one night while at the hotel…she wouldn't even speak to me."

"I'm so sorry Rodney… Any idea as to why?"

"A few...but not really...I think she's got something going on she's not ready to tell me yet..." he replied softly.

"What about Carson and John?"

"John is taking Johnny home to see Cheryl…and that's not my place to be there…it'll be awkward enough for John without me there…and Carson deserves to enjoy the time alone with his family…I've got all I need here, Lauryn…food…"

"Oh…"

"What about you Elizabeth? What are you doing for the holidays?"

"Oh…you know…"

"Visiting your brother?"

"Maybe…uh listen, there's another reason I came down here…I was thinking about a little Christmas party…"

"And you were wondering if I could hook one of our computers or players up to the sound system?"

"You read my mind," she said grinning. She saw a sly smile play over his lips and knew he had a retort but was holding it back.

"When would you like this done?" he asked smiling.

"Probably the twenty-first is a good day, everyone will be back from earth."

"Okay, I can do that," he said smiling.

"Thanks Rodney…"

"Anything for you Liz," he replied softly as he watched her leave.

> > > >

Rodney knocked on the door softly and waited, finally after a few moments the door slid open with a hiss and she smiled softly at him, "Rodney," she had changed to call him by his first name shortly after their third or fourth mission, at least on the base, although now she usually just called him by his first name.

"Hi Teyla…I need some help…"

"Certainly, what can I do for you?"

"I need…well I need a present…we've got this tradition on my planet, I'm sure you remember Christmas last year…"

"Yes I do…"

"Well, I was wondering if there was anything on the mainland that could possibly be found that I could get for her."

"Her? Would this her...have a first name? Perhaps starting with an E?" Teyla joked gently.

Rodney just smiled, "maybe...will you help me?"

"Of course we can find something, when would you like to leave?" she asked gently.

"Uh…as soon as we can, if that's okay?"

"I will meet you in the jumper bay in twenty minutes?"

"That's great, thank you…"

> > > >

Rodney was suddenly glad his brother had taught him how to pilot the jumpers, when he reported to John that he was going to the mainland for awhile, John had nodded and said nothing, giving his brother a break for once; knowing if Teyla went than the scienist woudl be safe.

There were hundreds of people willing to sell him something, however there was one single thing that caught his eye, "it's beautiful what is it?" he asked Teyla as he held up the beautiful crafted bracelet, it was thick black leather like thread with two beads on either side of a stunning jade colored stone.

"It's called a binding bracelet," Teyla said smiling.

"Binding?"

"The woman wears thewhite one, and the husband wears an identical black one…it's our way of showing marriage, it is how people of theAthos are no longer…available," Teyla explained, eyeing Rodney carefully.

"Maybe that's not the most appropriate thing," Rodney said suddenly, but Teyla's hand fell on his.

"I think it is most appropriate, for even if you do not tell her the meaning…you will know in your heart that when she wears it, her heart and soul belongs to you," Teyla said softly.

"But I don't know if it does," Rodney stated.

"It does," Teyla said simply.

Rodney looked at the bracelet and smiled softly, "I'll take it."

> > > >

They didn't really decorate, they simply collected several CDs and favorite songs by the various occupants of Atlantis, and played them over the loud speaker Rodney had set up. The food came mostly from the Athosians, who were all too happy to join the festivities and get involved. Elizabeth had asked everyone to dress nicely, to try and make it seem like a real ball instead of some high school dance.

Rodney couldn't deny he was nervous, everyone was to be out of uniform and at least dressed in something moderately nice for the evening. So here he was standing in front of his bathroom mirror, shaving, combing his hair…really acting like he cared. He had a nice shirt and an over coat, with his dress pants. The light blue shirt that Teyla had said brought out his eyes.

"Well Lauryn?" Rodney asked as he stepped out of the bathroom. The baby on the floor looked up at him, and grinned.

"Purdy!" she cried clapping, her grin wide, revealing the four teeth she was growing.

"Come here," he said smiling as he hoisted her up into his arms. He sighed and looked at her, they had dressed her up in a nice little dress for the evening. "I'm sorry I can't give you much more…it's not going to be like a real Christmas for you, and I'm sorry about that, but I promise you, one year you'll get a real Christmas."

"It's not the presents that matter Rod, it's who she's with, and I have the feeling she could care less as long as you're still here to love and hold her when the day is over," came John's voice from the door. He was in khaki pants and a dark navy blue shirt with the top two buttons open.

"Where's Johnny?" Rodney questioned.

"Right here," John said when his son stuck his head through the doorway a few seconds later, his dark hair sticking every direction, wearing dark black pants and a dark green shirt. "Well…we shouldn't keep them waiting," grinned John.

"Right," with that the two men headed out of Rodney's room, and to the ballroom Rodney had found. It was a considerably large room, roughly the size of the gate room, without all the extra stuff in the way, just an open room, with windows to the balcony which were open, and music playing softly through the air.

The room was already becoming crowded as people stood around chatting. Rodney sighed as he, John and the kids joined Carson in a small group. Ronan had chosen to remain in his room, not quite seeing the point to being involved. Or perhaps he just didn't see the point of a ball, he truly didn't understand Christmas yet.

"So where are the ladies?" John asked smiling, he couldn't wait to see Teyla.

"Uh…well I haven't actually seen them all day," replied Carson as he took Lauryn into his arms.

The doors to the ballroom opened again, and all heads turned, there they stood, Laura Cadman, Elizabeth Weir and Teyla Emmagan, in all their beauty. Laura's strawberry blond hair was hanging past her shoulders slightly curled at the ends, she wore a stunning forest green dress that went to the floor, it was sleeveless, bringing out her beautiful eyes. She wore a pair of pearls around her neck and a pearl bracelet.

Carson's eyes were probably bugging out of his head as he stared at the beautiful woman who stood before everyone, she looked around, her eyes finally falling to him and smiled warmly at the doctor.

Teyla was in a dark navy blue dress that fell just below her knees, reveal her tanned legs, which John was no doubt enjoying. She had her hair half up and half down, she was as always, full of confidence, but she looked stunning. The neckline dipped down just slightly, not revealing much, but enough for John to go crazy at how beautiful she looked.

Then there was Elizabeth in the middle, wearing a beautiful apple red, in a dress that dipped down in the back, and just slightly around her neck, a bit of a halter-top, the dress also fell to the floor, accentuating her hips. Her brown hair fell around her shoulders. Rodney felt his heart jump at the pure sight of her.

"You three look…stunning," whispered John as the three women moved towards them.

"Thank you John," smiled Elizabeth softly. "Rodney, Carson you guys all look very nice."

Carson smiled softly, nodding a thanks and nudged Rodney back to speech, hoping the man would come to his senses, "you…you ah, wow," he whispered.

"Thank you Rodney," Elizabeth replied grinning as she took Lauryn into her arms.

Rodney watched her for a minute, unable to get over how beautiful she looked holding Lauryn. There was something about a woman...or pehraps just this woman, when she held a child. She seemed so much more down to earth, Rodney knew he held her on a pedstal at times, and he didn't mean to, but it was moments like this, moments when he just saw her with his little girl, and realized she was human, and an amazing human at that.

"Teyla…can I have this dance?" John asked politely.

"I would be honored," she replied, she took his offered hand and they headed onto the floor. Rodney watched his brother gracefully sweeping Teyla into a strong embrace.

"Rodney…" Elizabeth began, however Major Lorne came over and smiled at her.

"Would you like to dance Ma'am?"

"I would love to…but you'll have to call me Elizabeth for the evening," she said smiling at the Major.

Rodney watched in sadness as the woman he loved was swept off her feet as the two danced through the crowd. She truly was amazing, she wasn't like any other woman Rodney had ever met. She was beautiful, and most of all she deserved this evening, more than anyone here.

The night wore on, Rodney danced two songs with Lauryn at his side, and one with Cadman. "Rodney, may we dance?" questioned Teyla later into the night. Smiling Rodney nodded and allowed himself to lead the beautiful Athosian onto the dance floor.

"You have had a busy night," Rodney joked as he smiled at the woman he had come to love as a sister.

"I suppose, as have had you," Teyla replied, "were you going to ask Elizabeth to dance?"

"Ah…well eventually, people keep cutting me off," he smiled softly.

"I am not trying to intrude Rodney, but ask her, I am sure she will dance with you. I am also sure, there is no one else here she wishes to dance with more."

"I will, I promise…You and John have been dancing…a lot," Rodney said as he looked over at his brother. Teyla chuckled with Rodney at the sight of John swinging gently from side to side with Lauryn in his arms, who was all giggles.

"We care for each other a great deal…"

"And?"

"And we will remain friends, it is not easy."

"No, it's not," Rodney understood, more than he was willing to admit. They continued to dance until the song finally came to an end, then Teyla bent her head in the Athosian greeting, Rodney returned it. When she brought her head up he pressed a kiss to her forehead. "That, is for being a wonderful friend," he whispered.

"And you," she said returning the kiss to his cheek. She gently then, propelled him towards Elizabeth's general direction before going off to find John or Carson.

Rodney smiled softly as he heard the beginnings of the next song just as he approached her side, "Elizabeth…" he began and paused as the words began to flow from the speakers.

_It's late in the evening_

_She's wonderin' what clothes to wear_

_She puts on her make-up_

_And brushes her long blonde hair_

"Can I have this dance?" he knew how cheesy it sounded, but as she nodded slowly and took his hand, Rodney couldn't help but smile. He pulled her close, his hand in the small of her bare back. They gracefully swayed to the music.

"So…how do I look?" Elizabeth asked, knowing the next phrase to the song with a grin on her face.

_And then she asks me, "Do I look all right?"_

_And I say yes, you look wonderful tonight_

"You look wonderful tonight Elizabeth," Rodney returned with a soft grin in return.

_We go to a party_

_And everyone turns to see_

_This beautiful lady_

_walkin around with me_

"The night is almost over, it's been a real hit, thank you Rodney, for helping make this night come true," Elizabeth whispered.

Rodney smiled and pulled her close, feeling her head lean against his shoulder. Sighing, he rested his head against her, "it was your dream…I just made it come true."

"I don't want this to end." Elizabeth murmured.

_And then she asks me, "Do you feel all right?"_

_And I say yes, I feel wonderful tonight_

"Just savor it, maybe we can make the most out of what's left of the night, there's at least two more songs." Rodney replied.

_I feel wonderful because I see the love light in your eyes_

_And the wonder of it all is that you just don't realize how much I love you_

"Rodney…I'm staying on Atlantis for Christmas," Elizabeth whispered nonchalantly, she tightened her arms around his neck.

"Don't worry, I'm staying too…"

_It's time to go home now_

_And I've got an achin' head_

_So I give her the car keys_

_And she helps me to bed_

"Rodney, what do we do when this is all over…what do we do when we have to go back…" She was trying to be strong, she wasn't going to cry, there was no reason to, because when she woke up tomorrow morning, he would still be there, by her side as his best friend. They would alwyas have their friendship.

"We remember this night, for as long as we possibly can. And trust me Liz, this is one night I'm not likely to ever forget."

_And then I tell her_

_As I turn out the light_

_I say my darlin', you were wonderful tonight_

_Oh, my darlin, you were wonderful tonight_

"Okay everyone," John's voice broke over the system as the song finally came to an end, Rodney continued to hold Elizabeth in his arms for a few more minutes. "One last song, for those Athosians who don't know much about Christmas…well all I can tell you is…it's a beautiful thing, and for those of us who want to be home, or can be home…this one is for you…"

_I'll be home for Christmas_

_You can plan on me_

_Please have snow and mistletoe_

_And presents on the tree_

Rodney smiled as Frank Sinatra's voice floated over the entire room. He looked at Elizabeth and saw her eyes filling with tears, "What's wrong?"

"This was my father's favorite song," she whispered smiling softly.

"He's here Liz, right now."

_Christmas Eve will find me_

_Where the lovelight gleams_

_I'll be home for Christmas_

_If only in my dreams_

The dance finished with a bang as they played Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer while everyone finally left. Elizabeth and Rodney went their own separate ways, each knowing that they couldn't truly care for each other the way they wanted to. While they loved each other, they couldn't afford to be in love, because it would mean problems on Atlantis, and not even love was worth that for them.

Even Teyla and John separated that evening, understanding that this was one night, where they could put rank, and everything behind them. However as soon as the night was over, John would go back to being a Colonel and Teyla's team officer. Elizabeth would go back to being the head of Atlantis, and Rodney would go back to being her chief Scientist. When the night was over, they would still be lonely.

_I'll be home for Christmas_

_You can plan on me_

_Please have snow and mistletoe_

_And presents on the tree_

John, Carson, Johnny and several other officers stood in front of the open gate, turning back they smiled. Carson gripped Laura's hand tightly as he and Cadman stepped through the open wormhole. John shot his brother a look full of love and pride then gripped his son's hand and stepped through as well. They would go home, and enjoy their time at with their families and friends.

_Christmas Eve will find me_

_Where the lovelight gleams_

_I'll be home for Christmas_

_If only in my dreams_

Christmas morning finally arrived, Elizabeth smiled when the door slid open, she held out the gently wrapped present towards her friend, "I thought…maybe we could spend Christmas together," she offered.

Rodney nodded and allowed her into the room, he gently took the offering and they sat down on the floor in the middle of the floor, where Lauryn was sitting amid wrapping paper and presents.

"I got her a few things while on earth…"

"A few things, I'd say you bought out Toys R Us," joked Elizabeth as she looked at all of Lauryn's new toys.

"Well…I also go this…while on the mainland," he handed her a long thing box.

Taking it from him she slowly opened and gasped at the beautiful bracelet he had gotten her, "oh Rodney…"

"To the Athosians they're binding bracelets, people where them to signify they are no longer single…But for us…well yours is to show…that my heart is yours."

"Thank you Rodney's it's beautiful," she replied as he gently wrapped it around her wrist then pressed a kiss to her hand.

_Silent night_

_Holy night_

_All is calm, all is bright_

_Round yon virgin_

_Mother and child_

_Holy infant, so tender and mild_

_Sleep in heavenly peace_

_Sleep in heavenly peace_

Cheryl sighed as she stepped down to the living room and smiled in a soft surprise, there on their fold out couch lay John in the middle of the bed, on either side of him lay his two children. Johnny curled up against his side, and Lisa sprawled out on the other side. John had a protective arm over both of them.

Wrapping her arms around her shoulders for a moment, she allowed herself to revel in the sight of her former husband. Shaking her head in awe she moved over to the couch and pulled the blanket up around John and the kid's shoulders. She then pressed a kiss to her son's head and daughter's, and slipped back upstairs.

_Silent night_

_Holy night_

_Shepherds quake at the sight_

_Glory streams from heaven above_

_Heavenly hosts sing 'Alleluja'_

_Christ the Savior is born_

_Christ the Savior is born_

Carson crept down the stairs of his house and smiled as his mother sat on the couch, a photo album in her lap, "mum, Santa will never come if ye don't get some rest," he whispered as he took a seat beside her.

Maggie looked up from the pictures and smiled gently at him, "remember this…your brother's first Christmas, you were just a wee one, six maybe eight," she sad looking at the picture of her strapping young man.

"Mum?"

"I'm fine luv…just remembering," she whispered. She pointed to another picture, Carson was a boy, and his father stood by his side, "your da…he was such a strong man."

"He taught me a lot…but mum, you were my heart, my very soul…my everything. I love ye mum," he replied pressing a kiss to her head as he wrapped an arm around his mother. She sighed, settling against his chest as she nodded.

"I'm not always goin' to be here lad, but I want ye to know how very proud I am of you and the man you've become. Your da would be proud too," she whispered patting his knee.

"Thank you mum. Happy Christmas mum…"

"Happy Christmas Carson."

_Silent night_

_Holy night_

_All is calm, all is bright_

_Round yon virgin_

_Mother and child_

_Holy infant, so tender and mild_

_Sleep in heavenly peace_


	39. The Other Woman

Author's Note: There's something I really want to say before I start this chapter, and that is thank you for all the wonderful reviews. I feel like I can't address it often enough, and perhaps I should now. But Thank you foryour caring comments, for sticking with me on this story. I'll be honest I've written many stories, and some I have loved and adored, but this story holds a lot of meaning to it. This is my longest story (450 pages at the moment), it's powerful, and I can really feel my characters. You have all helped me continue writing this story, as much as I love and adore thisstory, I probably wouldn't keep it up if it weren't for many of you. Thank you so much for sticking with me. That said...poor Rodney, he just can't win can he :) McWeir will be on hold for awhile, until Rodney gets over this chapter...sorry, it will return though I promise! Also I lied, it's this chapter, so this chapter this week, then one shortly after Christmas, and one shortly after Hive, then we're on a roll. Sorry guys, I coudln't wait any longer, and some of these chapters are movable :) Enjoy!

Chapter Thirty-Nine: The Other Woman

Christmas came and went on Atlantis, everyone was back to their normal ways of life before they knew it. Everyone including John and Rodney; no one could over look the fact that Elizabeth and Rodney had grown closer since the Christmas they had spent together, no one could over look the fact that Teyla and John just seemed stronger when they were around each other, and everyone noticed the smile on Carson's face shortly after he and Laura Cadman were seen at dinner one night together. Christmas may have been over, and the New Year on its way, but for Atlantis the spirit was still there, and there were new things to explore and check out before another year passed them by so quickly. It was one week after Christmas that John, Teyla, Ronan and Rodney made their way through the gate for the first time in a long time. John watched his brother closely, wanting to make sure Rodney was okay, and could do this.

"You ready for this?" John asked as he continued to prepare himself, he glanced sideways over at his brother.

"Are you kidding me? I've been ready this since I got back from earth…this is where I belong John…I'm meant to be doing this," grinned Rodney.

"Damn right you do Rod, all right, let's get this show on the road," John called.

"John, you've got a go," called Elizabeth grinning.

Without a look back the four teammates made their way through the gate. Elizabeth smiled, she couldn't be more proud of Rodney at this very moment, couldn't be prouder of the fact that he wasn't afraid of stepping through that gate.

There was a light drizzle around them as they stepped out through the other side. John looked around, his gun drawn, ready to fire if needed, and stepped away from the gate, following him was his younger brother, then Teyla and finally Ronan.

"The people on this world are friendly people John," spoke Teyla softly, "my friend Serianna will be here momentarily."

With those words John dropped his gun as there was a soft rustle in the underbrush from a few feet away. Seconds later a beautiful woman, probably in her early thirties with long elbow length raven colored hair, pale white skins, bright green eyes stepped out. She had curves in all the right places, which weren't lost on the guys, her face was stunning, freckles brushed lightly across her nose and high cheek bones.

"Seri," Teyla moved forward and greeted her friend in the usual Athosian way. The woman opened her mouth to greet Teyla's friends and smiled at Rodney, John and Ronan.

"Hi," Rodney said suddenly holding out his hand in a greeting, "I'm Doctor Rodney McKay…this is Colonel John Sheppard and Specialist Ronan Dex."

John eyed his brother, hiding the grin that he desperately wanted to play across his features. He remained quite however and watched as Seri shook Rodney's hand in return.

"It is wonderful to meet you, I am Seri Temper, welcome to Adnia, if you would like to follow me I would be pleased to take you to the city."

"Wonderful," Rodney said as he quickly began to walk at her side.

Teyla smiled as she dropped back slightly to join her two friends, "I think our Rodney is smitten," John said grinning.

"Perhaps…he does seem…nervous," chuckled Teyla.

"What kind of crops do you grow here?" John managed to ask as they caught up with McKay and Seri.

"We are a simple people Colonel, we grow maze…as well as some other crops, we would be all to pleased to trade with you for simple medical supplies…that is what Teyla said you would be willing to offer us."

"We can off you technology too," Rodney added quickly, "Uh…sorry you probably don't understand what that means, we can offer you ways to…clean your water…to uh create ways to protect yourself," explained Rodney.

"This sounds interesting, we shall speak further on this…Adnia does not have many confrontations…although we have a small group of settlers that have not come to like our new leader…they sometimes rebel…"

"Wait? New leader?"

"He is a fair man Specialist Dex, believe it or not, he has brought much to our world that his father never brought, including trade with other plants, more food, more areas to plant our crops."

"He took his father's place?" John said in surprise.

"Yes…Michel's father died two years ago…some of the older people were against his taking over, they felt he would not provide us with what we needed, afraid that perhaps he would bring too much freedom to our people. However many of us do not feel such things. His father was very much a… Over powering man."

"You mean a dictator?" questioned Rodney.

"If you mean someone who runs the people like they are animals…then yes…His son is a noble man…a noble good man."

"You care for him?" Teyla asked.

"Not as you think, no, he has been my friend these past two years…as you know I have grown up with him for most of my life, I enjoy being near him, but not like that."

"We'd like to help you with anything you need," explained John.

"We would appreciate any help you are willing to give us," Seri replied thankfully.

"Tell me more about this place…" Rodney urged.

The woman chuckled softly and nodded. They spent the next twenty minutes walking towards the city and listening to Seri and Rodney just talk. John was surprised, because he could have sworn his brother's heart already belonged to another woman…one that already lived on Atlantis.

John wasn't going to press the issue, this being Rodney's first real trip through the Stargate, part of him just hoped this infatuation that suddenly transpired wouldn't last too long…or reach Elizabeth's ears; she would certainly be hurt.

The town was probably just ahead of the Athosians but behind the Genii still, they seemed like a simple town. There were several houses and various structures around, in the middle was a well, probably where they got their water, who knew if that was sanitary.

"Is this everyone?" Ronan asked.

"No, there are many more of us that living in other towns…but this is almost everyone that works for our new leader or are families working for him."

"What about these…renegades?" John inquired.

"They live on the outskirts of town."

"Don't they understand that you could easily hurt someone they love?"

"Colonel Sheppard, my father is among them, I assure you that is all they think about…and the very real possibility that the king could hurt us."

"I'd really like to meet this king myself…" Ronan began.

"I am here, hello, I'm am Michel, it is nice to meet all of you." He did not look like a stately man, he also had raven hair very short, with jade eyes very much like Seri. He couldn't possibly be over thirty.

"Michel, it is nice to meet you as well…we would love a tour…if possible."

"Of course, come," the man said invitingly as he led them towards one of the nearby houses. "We meet here, my friends and I…"

"Friends?" Ronan asked.

"The people who help me run my world," the man explained.

"How advanced are you people?" Rodney asked as he looked around the house.

"We are simple people Doctor McKay, Seri has told us of you and Atlantis, we are aware of how far you are from us…we would accept any help you could give us, in trade for some of our crops…"

"We would certainly be grateful," grinned Rodney.

"Can we see the crops?" John jumped in, not really wanting his brother to do all the finalizing without a little talking here and there.

"Certainly, Seri would you care to take Colonel Sheppard and Specialist Dex to the crops, while I speak with Teyla and Doctor McKay?" the man requested.

"Yes sir," John eyed Teyla, then Rodney and made his way out behind Seri with Ronan at his side.

"To be honest Michel…I'd be lying if I said we aren't a little concerned about these…rebels Seri spoke of. We want to help you and we would be all too excited to strike up a deal with you…but our leader Doctor Weir…well trust me when I say she may be a little hesitant about making a trade with people who are at some type of…disagreement," Rodney tried to explained delicately.

"I understand Doctor, believe me, I would also be hesitant, like you we are both at war against the Wraith…I do not wish to make the fight against the elders your fight as well. I would not ask for assistance in such a fight. These are the elders of several smaller towns that feel my father's heavy hand was far more comforting than my guiding way. I do not claim to be right, you must understand…I simply want what is best for my people."

"And what is that?" Teyla asked.

"For everyone to live happily, healthy…long lives in peace from the Wraith, disease and fear of war. We are truly a new world…though we have been here hundreds of years…we are just now getting the chance to live freely on this planet. During my father and grandfather's rule…people worked as slaves to those with more money."

"And now?" Rodney continued.

"Now everyone is paid for the work they do…or they do not work, I will not have people slaved or traded to other worlds. It is wrong."

"That's a very smart position for someone raised by a man you say was so evil."

"Doctor McKay…tell me did you ever have someone so evil…so powerful in your life that you loathed and wanted to be so different from that person that you became the complete opposite of them, you stood for everything they couldn't stand for?"

Rodney stared into the man's jade colored eyes, he saw truth, but beyond that he saw himself in this man, "yes…yes I have. I cannot personally agree on a trade, our leader will want to speak with you…but I can honestly say…we are all to happy to offer our services to you in anyway."

"Thank you," the man said smiling as he stood.

> > > >

"And you feel they are good people?" Elizabeth asked as she continued to look over the notes several hours later. She looked up from John to Rodney.

"They're very good people Elizabeth…and with our help they could move so far in little time…"

"I'd like to meet him…how do their crops look?"

"Plentiful, they were great, some stretched for as far as the eye could see. The food was amazing…They've got a lot we could benefit from," John answered.

"And what about these elders?"

"They preferred Michel's father over him….we haven't seen or met any of them…" Rodney answered.

"That's not a little…weird to you? That people preferred a dictator over a man like Michel?" Elizabeth said raising an eyebrow.

"Well hundreds of people preferred Hitler over others…but they obviously weren't right…look what he turned out to be…"

"Thank you Rodney," Elizabeth said sarcastically.

"Elizabeth, Rod's right…this could really be something good for us…it deserves our time and attention.

"Very well…they'll have it. Set up a meeting tomorrow, you and your team will go an hour early, I will follow with Lorne," Elizabeth said smiling.

> > > >

"Are you the smartest on your planet?" Rodney looked up at Seri and chuckled softly from where he sat next to her, hooking up some equipment by the well.

"No, no not by a long shot…I used to act like I was…but once you tend to go face to face with death…it puts you in your place pretty quick," Rodney replied smiling at her.

"You just seem so wise…what are your people like?"

"The people of Atlantis? Or Earth?"

"Earth…where you come from?"

"Oh…well uh, they're good people, strong people, of strong values…I don't know, they're just like you and me…" he grinned replying as she moved closer. He was surprised by how at ease he was around her, she was so beautiful, he found himself enjoying her company.

"Do you miss home?"

"I miss my cat," he replied nonchalantly.

"Cat?"

"It's…it's a four-legged animal….fur on it's body…anyway his name was Sydney," Rodney said smiling faintly.

"Why?"

"Well…we have this thing called Television back where I come from…I'll show you one day if I can…anyway so there was this old TV series called Doctor Who, well to make a long story short there was a man named Sydney Newman who created the series…I used to watch it all the time."

"Intriguing, tell me of…Sydney," Seri said grinning.

"He was a mut cat…that means several breeds, none of which I could name, but I had him since he was a kitten…nearly fifteen years…"

"How long do cats usually live?"

"Eighteen…if you're really lucky…Sydney was getting up there when I left…" Rodney sighed, he missed his friend dearly, he was partly afraid the kitten would already be gone if he returned and asked about him.

"He seems wonderful…you are an interesting man Doctor McKay," she whispered.

Rodney looked at her, his eyes locking into hers and smiled crookedly, "you're one of the only few who feel that way…" he leaned in closer, "call me Rodney," his voice turning into a whisper.

Her lips suddenly captured hers, Rodney's hand gently touched her cheek as he deepened the kiss. Finally he pulled away, breathing deeply and smiled gently at her, "you truly are an amazing woman Seri," he replied softly.

"You are not too bad yourself Doc…Rodney," she grinned.

He found himself suddenly dipping in for another kiss when suddenly he heard someone clearing their throat from behind him. Turning they looked into John's hazel green eyes.

"Now who's playing Kirk, Rodney, Dr. Weir is here…she'd like to see you…" John tried to remain neutral to what he had just seen.

"Thanks John…Seri, I'll be back soon," he smiled at her then slowly stood to his feet and moved off with his brother trailing in front of him.

"What the hell was that?" John asked once they were out of ear shot.

"What was what?"

"That?" John said pointing back in the direction they had just come from.

"Uh…you're going to have to be specific."

"Rodney! I just caught you in a lip lock with an alien…aren't you always the one spouting off things about Captain Kirk…last time I checked Spock rarely got the women…."

"Oh please I am not Spock! I'd be closer to Daniel Jackson than Spock…and last I checked he married an alien."

"Uh…Rodney, for one you aren't married, two you are always talking about me being a Captain Kirk and yet I just found you seriously kissing that woman…third aren't you supposed to have the hots for a certain leader… And I don't mean Caldwell."

"John, seriously nothing will ever work between Elizabeth and I…what's wrong with me finding an interest in someone else. Seri appreciates who I am."

"What and Elizabeth doesn't?"

"Look John, let it go okay," Rodney said beginning to move.

"I just don't want you to get hurt little brother."

"I'd be more hurt if I waited around for Elizabeth to come to me, than falling in love with someone like Seri…at least I know I can fall in love and live happily ever after with her."

"Right…well just be careful," John said grinning.

"You're sick," Rodney replied shaking his head.

"I'm just telling you to be safe…don't want a bunch of mini McKay's running all over the planets."

"Cute…who knows how many little Sheppards we have," McKay jibbed in return.

The two brothers continued their joking and jibbing, enjoy the personal time for a few minutes. Elizabeth watched from a far as her two finest men approached, smiling, chuckling and laughing. It wasn't something she had seen for so long. As she watched him, she couldn't help but feel her heart fly as she watched Rodney smile.

"Having fun boys?" she said as the two men joined her side.

"Elizabeth, have you found everything you need?" Rodney asked.

"Actually I have, we will begin trading with Adnia…"

"Excellent!" Rodney said grinning.

"You seem very happy about this," she said smiling at him softly.

"This is the chance of a life time, do you know how much we could help these people…"

Elizabeth cocked an eyebrow at him weakly, "does this mean you're going to help them with their advancements?" grinned Elizabeth.

Rodney looked from John to Liz and grinned, "sure."

It wasn't lost on Elizabeth over the next three weeks how much time Rodney would spend on Adnia, he had already brought Seri back to Atlantis once, and while Elizabeth thought she was quite a woman…however Elizabeth would've had to been stupid not to notice how close Seri was getting to Rodney.

Elizabeth wasn't jealous, at least it didn't seem like it, but she didn't want to see Rodney get hurt….In all honest it was hurting her as well, knowing that he didn't love her anymore.

"Liz," came John's voice, snapping her out of her thoughts. She turned and smiled softly at him.

"Sorry, I was just thinking, are you guys about ready to go?"

"Yeah…Rodney seems to be the most excited of us, but you know how he is…anyway…we'll check in, in a couple hours."

"Sounds good, bring everyone home safe John."

"Will do boss," he said grinning.

He joined Rodney, Teyla and Ronan as they headed through the gate.

No one was expecting what met them as they stepped through the gate, gun fire sounded through the air. Rodney looked at John with fear in his eyes. They suddenly broke into a run, towards the city in fear of what they would find there.

Surprisingly Rodney led the pack entirely, perhaps because he was so worried about Seri. John, however was right behind him, reaching for his brother so the man would not get shot.

They reached the city to find it in complete chaos, bodies were scattered everywhere, blood draining into the sand below them. Rodney stopped short, his brother running right into him. John had to stop himself from running into Rodney by grabbing him around the chest and shoulder.

"My god…what happened?" whispered Rodney as he looked at the scattered forms on the ground.

"RODNEY!" came a cry from one of the houses.

"SERI!" he screamed, before John could grab his brother's shoulder Rodney shot off to the nearby house he had heard Seri's scream from. Rodney raced into the house, he easily spotted her white face behind the table in the room. "Seri, what the hell is going on, Michel…are you two okay?" he asked gently.

"It's the rebels Rodney, they attacked early this morning…no one was expecting it…" she looked at him, tears trailing down her cheeks.

"Shh, it's okay," he whispered gently as he pulled her close for a moment.

"We'll help you…"

"It's too late Doctor…they've killed almost everyone in my town…all of my people," whimpered Michel. "They relied on me…and I have failed them.

"Not yet you haven't," came John's voice from the entrance as he, Ronan and Teyla crouched down behind some other tables and furniture. "Where are they now Seri?"

"Ransacking houses at this point…"

"How many people are left?"

"Six…perhaps a few more, we have hid them all in this house," whispered Michel.

"Then let's get them out of here…gather those left…we'll get them back to Atlantis…"

"I cannot abandon…" Michel began.

"Look Michel, we don't have time to argue, you said yourself there aren't many left, do you want to save those remaining or stay here and watch everyone die?"

"They are my people Colonel…would you not fight for the lives of your people?"

"Of course I would Michel, but I wouldn't get myself killed doing it, what good would I be then?"

The two sets of eyes met for a moment, John was sure for a moment that Michel would still say no. Finally as if an answer to his prayers, the king nodded slowly. "Seri, go round up the others, we shall go…"

Within seconds there was a group of eight to ten people surrounding them, John looked at them quickly, "we're going to do this in quick bursts…Rodney you take Michel, Seri, and the two kids, Ronan will go first you'll take the family of four, go only when I say go. Teyla you'll go next with these three kids. Then you Rod, and finally I'll go after you. Do not waste time, if someone falls you pick them up and keep going."

"Sheppard…the gunfire is getting closer…"

"I know, Ronan go!" John shoved him gently.

He winced as he heard the gun shots and looked at Teyla, "get the hell outta here!" he yelled to her.

She nodded and grabbed the smallest child, seconds later she was out there with Ronan, John sent up a quick prayer to whoever was listening as he looked at his brother, "Do not hesitate Rod," John said.

"We'll be fine," Rodney said as he grabbed Seri's hand tightly, "let's go," he whispered.

John would never forget in the rest of his life as he watched his brother run as fast as he could, the elders, whoever they were took quick aim. Michel dropped within ten feet of the house they had been hiding in.

"MICHEL!" cried Seri as she ripped her hand from Rodney's, turning back around she dropped at Michel's side.

"Seri! Kids, go, run that way!" Rodney yelled suddenly he looked back at the woman he had come to deeply care for and ran back towards her. He jumped as he heard a crack of a pistol, and watched Seri look down at her stomach, then turn her eyes towards him in pain and fear. "NO!" Rodney managed to rip from his throat as he peddled towards her, catching her just as she dropped to the ground.

"RODNEY!" yelled John as he hurried out of the house, shoving the children in the same direction as Rodney's kids. He hurried over to his brother, who was clutching Seri's body in his arms. His face was covered in tears as he rocked back and forth.

"I…lov…e…you," whimpered Seri dying in his arms.

"I'll never forget you…," he cried softly as he pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"Rodney, we've got to go," John said as he grabbed a fistful of his brother's jacket. There was another crack of a gun discharging and Rodney hissed in pain as he looked at his shoulder, "please Rod," John pleaded, ignoring the gunshot wound causing his arm to bleed.

Rodney nodded, he pressed another kiss to Seri's forehead as he slowly got up, stumbling backwards with his brother, he forced himself to press forward, to run as fast and as hard as he could.

John didn't say another word as he dragged his stumbling brother painfully back to the gate, until there was just the distant roar of gunfire. John was pleased to see all the children had made it and the gate was already dialed. Teyla waited for the nod from John, then led the children through, followed closely by Ronan. John gently grasped his brother's arm, and pulled slightly, "we need to go Rod," whispered John as his brother continued to look back in the direction of the city.

Rodney turned his tear stained face, back towards John and nodded, he allowed himself to be led away from the body of the woman he loved. He felt the gate surround him. The gate shut down behind them as John and Rodney stepped through.

Carson ran over towards them, followed closely by Elizabeth, they were stunned in fear by the sight of Rodney's clothes, "what happened?" Elizabeth asked.

"He's not injured…Teyla are all the children unharmed…I have a graze on my arm…I'll be fine…"

"The children are fine, as is everyone else."

"Good, would you help them get cleaned up please, Colonel, go with Carson to the infirmary… Rodney and Ronan why don't you guys fill…"

"Uh Elizabeth, Ronan can tell you, Rod, come with me buddy," John said gently as he again grasped his brother's arm.

Carson was terrified by how quiet and agreeable Rodney seemed to be as he sat and allowed Carson to check him over. "Physically there's nothing wrong with him," Carson explained to John, who stood by Rodney's side, his arm in a sling wrapped tightly.

"Yeah well…good, Rod, listen to me buddy, okay…"

"She's gone…I…" he shook his head.

"I know Rodney, I know I'm sorry," John whispered, reaching out he grabbed his brother in a hug, something he hadn't done for a long time. Burying his face in his brother's uninjured shoulder, Rodney wrapped his own arms around John's chest.

"Carson…get him some sedatives…admit him, he needs rest, and care…"

"He'll get it John," Carson whispered. John leaned his head against Rodney's head and sighed.

"I'm here Rod, I'm here," John whispered as he continued to rub his brother's back, allowing the man a chance to let it all out and just cry.

> > > >

Rodney stepped out onto the balcony and looked out at the beautiful ocean surrounding Atlantis. He sighed, it had been two weeks since the loss of Seri. They had returned to the planet, buried all the dead. He had let her go, like so many of the other women he had cared for, he had buried her that day and let her go, hoping she was happier now.

"Hey big guy," John said softly as he walked out onto the balcony, knowing he was probably intruding, but also knowing his brother could use a friend right now.

"Is it wrong for me to be happy that she's gone?" Rodney asked quietly. He leaned against the balcony railing, looking out into the distance.

John sighed for a moment, imitating his stance and shrugged, "no, because you know nothing will ever hurt her again...and you know she's happy...there's nothing wrong with loving someone so much that you accept their fate."

"I just feel...empty."

"Yeah...it'll pass, I promise, you're not always going to feel like this Rod, you'll never ever forget her, but you won't feel lost and empty forever."

"Right now...that really doesn't help."

"No..." John said pausing, "'spose not, but then again, I'm only here to help you heal, not to make miracles. Wanna know something though?"

Rodney looked up at his brother curiously, "what?"

"I love ya."

"I know."

"Good, you should...I knew you'd be my best friend and brother by the second day you stayed in our house."

"What! That was a terrible day! We fought the entire day, mom was sure we'd hate each other forever."

"That's how I knew...good grief Rod, you could out-wit me in verbal sparring, I never had so much fun in my life...you could drive anyone crazy, try the patience of any saint, but I knew the minute you started your famous snark, that you would be my best friend and brother for life. You were always there, you still are...you always backed me up...always made me feel better. You were the one thing I spent most of my life praying for, a little brother...I know I'm not always such a good brother in return, but you should know, that I have a very high respect for you, for your strength, your passion for your job, you morals, and your brains. In the end Rod, this is only going to make you stronger, and maybe right now that's not much of a consolation...but it's true."

"Thanks," whispered Rodney, his eyes never leaving the ocean in front of him. He saw John nod and began to leave, "wait...don't go...I could use a brother right now," Rodney said finally turning his head.

"I'm always here," John replied as he took up his spot again.

Elizabeth watched through the window, smiling softly; as Rodney's head fell slightly, a smirk coloring his morose features, John out right laughing at something that had been said. Rodney wasn't healed yet, but in time, he would get over his heartbreak, he would get past the pain he was feeling right now, and there was no one better in his life, than John, his best friend and brother to help fix his problems.


	40. When it Rains it Pours

Chapter Forty: When it Rains it Pours

Teyla sighed as she pulled her coat closer around her soaked shoulders and looked at her companion. Rodney had his head down, trying to keep the pouring rain from getting in his eyes. "Rodney…should we not stop?" she asked softly, she was not normally one to complain, but she was lost, and she had the feeling he might be as well.

"Probab…" the end of his sentence was broken off when he suddenly lost his foot. Teyla cried out in fear as she couldn't stop and they plummeted down the side of a large cliff. Rodney cried out in pain as his shoulder and chest slammed into several large rocks and boulders. He squeezed his eyes shut, preparing for the end, when he felt something jagged slam into his temple, and his world went black.

> > > >

The first thing he became aware of was the chill seeping into his bones and skin. Groaning he slowly opened his eyes, the rain was still pouring. He cried out as pain shot up his ribs and to his shoulder. He gasped, closing his eyes against the ragged pain, he forced himself to breath through the pain. He definately wasn't dead, although he had the feeling it would be a fair alternative. He finally cracked one bruised eyelid open, he was face up on an outcropping on the side of the cliff, they had just slid down. The ground was probably fifty feet or so up. He groaned, coughing slightly, which agitated his sore ribs. Suddenly Rodney remembered he had fallen with Teyla, he looked around rapidly, and let out a painful sigh in relief as he saw her lying on her side only inches away on the very same outcropping. Taking a deep breath, he bit his lip and dragged himself over to her side, with a shaking, bloody hand he touched two fingers to her neck, and waited. Then he felt it, one beat…another beat…several more followed, although shallow they were stable. He moved his hand up and gently pushed her beautiful cooper colored hair from the large jagged cut on her left temple. "Teyla," he whispered gently, not wanting to nudge her incase she was seriously injured. "Teyla…come on Teyla," he whispered softly again, trying to ignore the growing fire in his shoulder and arm.

Two doe brown eyes slowly cracked open, he saw a sudden flash of panic and he positioned himself directly in her line of sight, "I'm right here Teyla…can you speak?"

Her eyes looked around for a moment, then seemed to refocus on his figure, "ye…yes…what happened?" she murmured grimacing, she slowly reached up to touch her head, but Rodney captured her's in his.

"I wouldn't do that…Teyla, we need to get out of the rain…and get warm…can you move?" he asked seeing the cavern at the base of their little outcrop.

"I…I believe so…my leg hurts," she whispered.

"If you can stand…I will help you get into this little cavern just inches away. Can you stand?" He asked as he carefully pushed himself up, testing his legs. While they were sore, no doubt from the fall, they were stable. He slowly bent over, gasping through the pain in his side as he gently helped her up.

He cried out when she was finally leaning against her, "Are you all right?" she asked looking at him with worry written in her beautiful doe eyes.

"Survivin'," he mumbled as he took his first step there, he couldn't worry about himself right now, he had to take care of her. With a deep breath together, the two managed to get into the small cave. Gasping against the pain Rodney gently sat Teyla down against one of the walls. Without a second thought, he then proceeded to collapse by her side.

Teyla watched him for a moment, very worried, and reached out, she was hurting as well, but she had to protect him, she had to help him too. "Stay…with me Rodney," she said gently as she ran a hand through his hair.

"Still here," he mumbled. "Just…hurts…" Opening his eyes again, Rodney pushed off the ground with one hand and began to search for anything that he could build a fire with, he then proceeded to take off his pack as well as Teyla's and search for several things.

Teyla just remained on the ground and watched him, blood was dripping slowly down the side of his face, he looked terrible, though she imagined she didn't look much better at this point.

Rodney moved over to her, the two first aid kits in hand, "I'm going to treat you…this may hurt, and I won't lie…I'm not exactly good in first aid…"

"I saw your arm," she mumbled.

"Huh?" he said looking at her, he could see the glint of humor behind the hazy pain.

"After…the storm…I saw your attempt…"

He chuckled and smiled gently, "right…well see I'm really not very good at it…you've got a pair of paints, a blanket and a shirt in your bag…I need you to change, try to dry off…it'll help keep you warm."

"What about you?"

"Let's just get you fixed up before we go worrying about me…you've got a pretty bad concussion probably…it's amazing you can even talk and think straight," he said smiling as he handed her the dry clothes. With that he got up and headed back over to the other corner to begin making the fire.

Teyla had a rough time changing, trying to keep her world from spinning, but finally she settled back onto the cave ground with the blanket wrapped around her shoulders.

Rodney turned back around and nodded, "good," he moved over towards her again and began to look her over, "you've got at least a mild concussion…the key here is you can't fall asleep…it's too dangerous, and based on my headache I'm fairly sure I have a mild one as well…we'll have to keep each other awake…" he continued the quick exam, only stopping to treat some of her scrapes. He looked at her when he got to her legs.

"It's okay Rodney…it's my knee," she explained.

He nodded and gently pushed the pant leg up her leg, the knee was badly scrapped, so he quickly wiped it with the alcohol wipes and put a bandage on it. He grabbed a nearby water bottle and handed it to her. "No broken bones, other than the concussion you're okay…"

"Let me look at you," she said.

Nodding slowly, swallowing the bile in his throat he allowed her to take over as he tried to relax, it didn't take her long, after all she had probably been helping to treat her people for years, as well as many people on Atlantis now when Carson asked. "I believe your collar bone may be broken…your shoulder is also bruised…you do have a concussion…you have a broken rib…and internal bleeding I fear," she said pressing against his abdomen and watching him cry out in pain.

"We're going…to be fine…" he managed as he sighed in pain, no wonder everything hurt. He looked at her, noticing she was still shivering and pointed to his bag, "there's another…blanket in my bag…bring it over here, we have to get warm…that means using the little body heat we have left."

"Very well," seconds later she was seated between his legs, his arms wrapped around her as they tried to keep each other warm. Teyla leaned against his shoulder, and felt his breathing becoming labored, "Rodney?"

"Ok…" he whimpered through a wave of pain, "just…god it hurts Teyla…"

"I know…why don't we talk about something…to keep our minds off the pain," she whispered

"Such as?" he whispered.

"I don't know…perhaps…our childhoods…"

"This will be fun," he grumbled as he tried to get comfortable again.

"Did you have fears…aspirations as a child?" she asked.

"I suppose…I was afraid of the same things I am now," he chuckled weakly.

"I don't think there's much your afraid of Rodney…for every time you act frightened, you show everyone just how much strength you have…I am very proud to call you my friend," she whispered gently.

"Thank you Teyla," he replied. He was quiet for a moment, "I was weird…I always wanted to go into outer space as a kid…it never changed, from the time I was old enough to say space and understand something about the stars I wanted nothing more than to go into a rocket ship and travel planets…"

"You are living your dream job?" she grinned.

"I suppose I am," he replied with a smile, "my father always used to say I couldn't do it…said I wasn't smart enough for space…but my mom…both of them, they always told me to go for my dreams."

"What about Luke? Did he not help you?"

"Yes…he encouraged me greatly…always helped me to believe in myself, he was good at that…he told John and I nearly everyday that if we put our minds to it we could do anything, accomplish anything."

"You are both happy?"

"We have our moments when we aren't…but in general, yeah I think we're both happy with how life ended up."

"That is good… were you close as children?"

"Well…honestly he was already eleven when I came, and I was ten…I was young when my mother died…so the memories I had of her were vague at best…but my father…I thought every dad was the same…John helped show me that wasn't true."

"They sound like a wonderful family."

"They were…sometimes I wondered if I didn't complicate their lives."

"You were their son as much as John…you would not have complicated their lives any more than him."

"I suppose…what 'bout you?" he grimaced through another wave of pain.

"My mother died when I was a baby…she had been ill for a long time…like you I had few memories of her, images truly…my father said I had her kind soul and ability to care for others. My father died…when I was twenty of your years… he was quite a man Rodney, you would have like him, and he you."

"Really?"

"Yes, he was noble…"

"What did you want to do when you grew up Teyla?"

"Unlike your people, we didn't have as many options…but I wanted to help people…serve my people in the best way I could and knew how. My father was very similar to Dr. Weir, he helped create bonds between our world and other worlds…When my father died, and I was still young, I became that person. He would take me to many of his worlds…so I knew the people, I knew what they needed as a whole…"

"You are quite a woman Teyla Emmagan," he said smiling softly.

"You are not so bad yourself Doctor McKay," she whispered.

The two friends lapsed into a comfortable silence, Rodney watched the fire across from them crackle for a few moments, before she became aware of Teyla's head leaning against his shoulder with her eyes closed, "Teyla wake up," he gently nudged her. The eye lids slowly slid open and she looked at him through haze and pain.

"My head hurts," she whimpered softly.

Rodney sighed as he hugged her close, she had never truly lost it around any of them, he assumed she had moments where she wasn't in control and broke down, but he wasn't ready to see it yet. Not from one so strong, "I know it does Teyla…believe me, I'll think of a way to get us out of here…but I need you to stay with me, okay?" he whispered.

"Water?" she whispered.

"Sure, take it slow though, so what's with you and John?" Rodney asked.

"I have no idea what your talking about," she repeated John's normal line.

"Nice try," he whispered as he took the water bottle back and set it on the ground once she was finished.

"He kissed me…"

"Whoa…really?" Rodney was excited.

"You do not understand…it wasn't really him…"

"Was that during the whole turning into a bug thing?" Rodney questioned.

"Yes…and then he apologized for it."

"Oh…did you like it?"

"Perhaps," she said smiling softly, "I did not like that he did it because he was sick…or that it was done harshly…"

"But you liked being close to him…Teyla, you really need to tell him…"

"And you need to tell Elizabeth the truth about Adnia, and Seri…she would not think less of you for falling for someone."

"I gave her the bracelet for Christmas…and then I turned right around and gave my heart to someone else…"

"You are human Rodney…man, man makes mistakes."

"And women?"

"We never make them," Rodney almost too her seriously until he saw the smile filter across her beautiful but bruised face.

"You know…I sorta wish my sister would have been more like you."

"You have a sister Rodney…you have two, I am merely an extension," she said smiling softly and weakly at him.

"I do love her," Rodney whispered.

"Then you should tell her," Teyla replied, knowing Rodney was no longer talking about his sister, but about Elizabeth.

"I'm afraid too hear her say we can't do anything…can't date…can't fall in love. I can't explain it to you Teyla, there has never been another woman in my life like Elizabeth, one that makes me feel so whole, so complete as Elizabeth. I'm a better person when I'm with her, she's the only one who will listen to all my stupid theories, who will pretend to understand me when I get really excited…she was there when I wake up from injuries, she has always been there. She's my best friend."

"Tell her Rodney."

"You tell John," he returned.

"Perhaps."

> > > >

"We have to go back!" yelled John.

"No one wants you to go back out there and look more than I do John, but you said yourself, the terrain is rough, the rain was coming down like a sheet, what makes you think you'll be able to find them? You won't do anyone any good if you get hurt too. We have to be smart about this John, I promise we will go find them…you have my word." Elizabeth tried to remain calm. In truth she was just as worried as John about Teyla and Rodney.

John, Ronan and Lorne had shown up three hours ago, drenched and exhausted, and missing two of their teammates. Now John wanted a search and rescue mission that Elizabeth wasn't ready to send them on just yet, especially if it meant losing more of her people. She wasn't willing to risk that just yet.

She sighed as she watched John storm out of the room in anger, she understood how he felt, he was worried about his brother and Teyla…the woman he cared for very deeply. She felt it too, Teyla was like a sister to her, and she cared Rodney a lot more than she was supposed to. She laid her head in her hands and sighed, she was tired, and worried, "John," she suddenly called hitting her head set.

"What?" he sounded angry as he snapped the simple word at her.

"Get a team of four ready…including Carson and myself, tell Carson this could be a medical emergency and he should prepare for such, we'll take a jumper and embark in an hour."

"Thanks Liz…"

"I don't want them out there anymore than you do," she whispered gently as she looked down at her desk again.

> > > >

"Are you all right?" Teyla's voice jolted Rodney from his thoughts. He sighed and nodded softly.

"Yeah…just thinking."

"Of?"

"The kidnapping…I was stuck in a jail cell not much smaller than this…"

"I was amazed you had survived, I knew you had strength but I am not sure I would have as much as you did."

"It was the hardest thing I've ever had to live through…even withdraw wasn't that bad…I knew everyday I could die…that there was no fear or loss in them killing me."

"How did you survive?"

"At first? Anger…lots and lots of anger and defiance. Then after awhile it was just a need, I had to see John, Carson, you and Liz again…I had to help Ford. There was no choice but to survive…I knew if John was alive he would be looking…I knew if he was alive I had to see him one more time before dying…I suppose I was still trying to defy them the joy of watching me just curl up and die…they almost raped me…" he whispered.

"Does Carson know this?"

"He knows they thought about it…I didn't tell them how far they got," Rodney sighed and shrugged. "They were close…then John apparently broke through the gate…he saved my soul…Koyla demanded me dressed in what was left and thrown back into my cell…I thought for sure I was a goner…"

"You were very brave to survive that Rodney…don't ever think other wise…Many have stood in your place and not made it out…"

"There was this little girl…shared the cell with her for awhile…probably about ten or eleven…they killed her at some point…because I wasn't doing what they wanted…I wasn't giving them the satisfaction of death…"

"We will survive this as well Rodney."

"That's what...Elaine told me," he said smiling.

"Elaine?"

"When I was younger...my father...beat me terribly...I was in the hospital for days...he beat me into a coma. I remember waking up and she whispered to me, we'll survive this. She was right, I hate it but a year later my father had died and I was with a safe family."

"Then she was correct, you will survive this as well."

"I know…Teyla…oh god!" Rodney suddenly cried out in pain and gripped his stomach.

Teyla turned instantly and held him as he slipped to the ground, withering in pain, his hands around his stomach, "it hurts," he whimpered as she held him, running her hands through his soft wet hair.

"Breathe Rodney," she whispered, reminding him gently.

"Oh…damnit," he cried; suddenly his eyes got as big as saucers, "we've got…rope…uh…wrap…wrap around you…we could clim….oh god…" he wasn't aware of the tears slipping from his eyes until she proceeded to wipe them away with her thumbs.

"Shh, we'll be found Rodney…"

"No…we…we could…could climb…"

"Rodney, I do not think that is a wise idea…you cannot use your arm…and my knee still hurts."

"Teyla…" his eyes and face grew serious, "we…have to…I'm dying…" he whispered.

"You are n…"

"Yes…I'm shaking and cold…my hypoglycemia levels have dropped considerably…if we don't get out of here…what I'm trying to say is…if we don't get out of here within another day…I will die"

"Very well…what do you wish me to do," she conceded.

"I…you've got to get up the side of the cliff…take the rope…tie it to a tree…or anything on this cliff…I'll be out there to watch you…you have to climb up the cliff…"

"All right…and then you?"

"Get help…I don't care how or what you do, just go and get help."

"Rodney, I cannot leave you."

"Listen to me Teyla…you can't stay here, you have a severe concussion…if we don't get the hell out of here now, we'll both die, if you get to the gate…you've got a better chance of saving us both…you are strong…I need you to be even stronger right now," he whispered.

"Very well."

> > > >

Elizabeth watched over John's shoulder, waiting for some sign of her two friends. They had arrived on a fairly dry planet, some of her worry for the two missing members of John's team had dissipated, although she was still concerned if they were okay.

"I'm getting life signs from right here," John said pointing to the edge of what looked like a large mountain.

"You don't think they went over… do you?" Carson asked.

"If they did…they're alive…otherwise they wouldn't be showing as life signs…"

"How far are we from the cliff?"

"Ten minutes…maybe…" John said.

"Hurry up."

> > > >

Teyla looked up the side of the cliff and sighed for a moment, there was no denying that she was scared of what might happen if she attempted to get up this cliff, there was no telling what would happen to Rodney as she attempted to scale the side of the small mountain. Taking a deep breath and looking back at the sagging Rodney McKay she took the first step, grimacing at the weight on her knee. Then she reached up for the next part of the cliff.

Rodney watched in a pregnant silence, as she began the slow climb to the top of the small mountain. She was doing well, she didn't let the little slipping rocks daunt her progress. She just kept going, as if fueled by something greater.

Teyla bit her lip as she finally reached the top…after what seemed like a good hour, she pulled her self up slightly, and was stunned to see a jumper sitting no more than twenty feet away from her, John, Carson, Lorne and Elizabeth walking from behind it.

"TEYLA!" John yelled.

She wanted nothing more than to collapse in his arms, to let him take control. She watched as he, Lorne, Carson and Elizabeth ran over to her. "John," she whispered.

"Come here," he said gently, no one else got the chance to help her, he reached out, and all by himself he pulled her up into his arms, seconds later he was holding her close as she clung to him in exhaustion.

"Lass…are you hurt? Where's Rodney?"

"He's still down there…he has internal injuries Carson…"

"Right lass," Carson said nodding. "How are you?"

"I have a concussion…"

"All right, John get her back into the jumper and settled…"

"Wait Carson, your too heavy for us to pull you both up…let me go down," Elizabeth said.

Carson and John studied her for a moment, "it will be easier to pull up a woman and a man, then two strong men…"

"She's got a point…" John spoke as he continued to hold Teyla tightly in his arms.

"All right then, get her down there…" Carson agreed.

Elizabeth watched the painfully slow decent as she hung by the rope that Teyla had used to scale the wall. Rodney lay on the ground, here he had the rope tied down. He looked terrible, she moved over to him, when she finally hit the ground.

"Rodney," she gently nudged his good shoulder. Two hazy blue eyes slowly slid open, "hey there?" she whispered running her hand through his hair.

"Lizzy…"

"Hey…we're going to get you home…sound good?"

"Love you…" he whispered as he closed his eyes again.

Elizabeth sighed, trying to hold back the tears, leaning over she pressed a kiss to his unmarred temple, "love you too big guy."

> > > >

He became aware of the constant beeping around him, and knew instantly he was in the infirmary…he was safe, warm and home. Turning his head to look around he smiled when he saw Elizabeth's head next to his hand. Reaching out he gently ran a hand through her soft brown hair.

"Rod?" she said lifting her head.

"Hey there," he mimicked her usual tone. She smiled as she squeezed the hand on her cheek. "So…how am I?"

"Well…according to the fare doctor, you'll live to fight another day superman."

"Good…plenty of nasty things out there to kick…how's Teyla."

"She's doing fine, she was released a few hours ago…you did good Rodney. Carson said you did everything right."

"Teyla did a fairly good job herself."

"Where is she?"

"I'm here," came Teyla's voice.

"I'll let you two alone for a moment, be right back."

"Promise?" he asked looking at her.

"Of course," she pressed another kiss to his cheek and left the two friends alone.

"How ya doin'?" Rodney asked Teyla.

"I am well…thanks to you…"

"I owe you my life…" Teyla said as she reached out and grasped his hand.

"And I yours…so I believe that makes us even…you are a good man Rodney…and a wonderful friend…I am truly blessed to have you for such a friend."

"Did you talk to John?"

"We've spoken…"

"And?"

"And…my relationship with your brother is none of your business," she said grinning slyly.

"HA! You little fiend! He's my brother, I have every right to know if I'm going to have a new sister-in-law," Rodney said cheekily.

"Rodney…get some rest," she said shaking her head.

He smiled, and closed his eyes, aware that Teyla was still holding his hand. They had formed, and even if he wasn't going to have a new sister-in-law, he had a new sister and a stronger relationship with her. Together they had averted another catastrophe, but then they always did, afterall they were the super people of Atlantis.

A/N: Till next time folks, I know I keep saying this, but this time I honestly mean it, no updates until after Christmas, that's for sure because I won't really have much access to a computer until after Christmas. My rough plan is to have an update on January 3rd or 4th, then have the Hive chapter up by the 13th. Then it will be fairly smooth sailing from there. Thanks again! Merry Christmas...again


	41. Teenagers!

Author's note: I would say...thus far this chapter ranks among my favorites. It gives a little more light on the boys and how they grew up together. There may be a little timeline inaccuracy and I apologize if there is, please don't tell me lol, I know they may be there and I didn't wanna correct it becuase it's in other chapters. I did my best to write it based on what I first said that Rodney was adopted at about twelve or thirteen and not fourteen. Also thank you for all the wonderful reviews and have a wonderful New Year! Next update is the day after The Hive. Also I'm trying to divide time change by using diffrent character types like dashes ect. and when I find one that works I will keep it and te you know!

Chapter Forty-One: Teenagers!

The mission had gone well, as opposed to the last mission that had almost ended in losing two of their finest. The villagers were wonderful, warming, friendly and more than willing to help out John and his team. So as soon as they mentioned ancient ruins that had been around for years, Rodney's ears perked up. "Could you show us where they are?"

"Certainly, we can take you tomorrow…we do not usually go there… some of scientists however are quite intrigued by it."

"Well then…we'll go," John said, part of him didn't want to allow it, but he couldn't say no…his brother was eager and even more he wasn't afraid to suddenly go off by himself. While John wasn't about to let the scientist wander by himself, he also wasn't going to be angry at the man for wanting to explore.

So the next morning they ate a breakfast provided by the villagers, then a few of the scientists escorted Teyla, Ronan, John and Rodney down to the ancient ruins. The man they had spoken to was correct, this place was amazing and old. Rodney instantly stepped inside, John opened his mouth to say something, but decide against it, if Rodney felt he could do this; then John would give him a little space, he would allow Rodney the chance to really explore and get a feel for being normal again.

"Just be careful," was all John said before he took a look around. Teyla stepped inside with Rodney, but allowed the man to wander a little further.

There towards the back of the ruins sat a small fountain, it was obviously old, but amazingly enough, there was still water coming from it, "this is amazing, there can't possibly be any brook or stream or pipe lines here…and yet it's flowing," whispered Rodney as he dipped his hand into the liquid. "It's still cold…"

He looked around the base of the fountain, "og llahs uoy regnuoy ot gnuoy morf worg ot hcuot rebmemer ot hcuot" his traced the outline of the inscription at the base of the small fountain. Standing up he began to look around the rest of the ruins, there was ancient written into some of the walls, others were English, and then some seemed to be a form of writing he had never seen before.

"Have you found anything?" John asked as he stepped into the ruins along side his brother.

"Nothing astounding, that little fountain is pretty damn cool, it's still cold…there are pictographs here…but they've been worn away by time…"

"Well…Ronan and I have been offered the chance to take a look at their farming, we'll be gone for an hour…maybe…be good," joked John.

His brother, however was lost on the words, getting caught up in the drawings and writings. John chuckled softly, shaking his head and moved out the cave entrance. "Watch him please," John said to Teyla.

"I will keep an eye on him, he is however, a grown man," she said smiling.

"Yeah…well he has the attention span of a four year old," mumbled John as he and Ronan followed two of the villagers.

-------

Rodney was aware that nearly an hour had gone by, he was growing weary of trying to solve these puzzles, he was just about to give up when his brother walked inside.

"Hey big guy, any idea what's worth staying here any longer?" John joked.

"No, none at all, the only thing worth half a damn is this stupid little fountain…"

John crouched down beside his brother and began to finger the words, Rodney reached out to slap his hand away. Their hands both touched the words: suddenlythey both threw their heads back in pain as suddenly every muscle in their body felt like it was contracting, John opened his mouth to scream but nothing came…A white light suddenly surrounded them, enveloping the two men in a deep warmth unlike anything they had ever experienced.

Teyla turned just in time to see a white light filling the small cave ruins, "John…" she called over her radio. She got nothing but static and suddenly eyed Ronan.

They both rushed into the small cavern, dust was beginning to settle, although how any had ever come about in the first place…Teyla didn't know. There was no debris…nothing, just the cave…she looked down, horrified to see two bodies, smaller than those of her Colonel Sheppard and Doctor McKay.

"Why is it always us?" Teyla said in a very human manor.

-------

Elizabeth couldn't deny that she was terribly worried when Teyla radioed back that something had happened and to have Doctor Beckett standing by. However she wasn't expecting what stepped through the gate.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" came one high pitched teenage voice.

"How is this all my fault?" Came another.

She turned her eyes towards the two children standing in front of her, they were no more than twelve, maybe thirteen. Everyone stood in a stunned silence as the two continued to argue.

"It's always your fault!" yelled the blonde haired boy on the left…wearing Rodney's clothes.

"Not everything is my fault! I wasn't the one who got us suspended! And I definitely wasn't the one who decided to build a nuke…."

"This is all…"

"Stop!" barked Ronan with the patience of Rodney McKay. The two pre-teens stopped and looked at him, the smaller of the two boys, the one wearing Rodney's clothes, looked almost frightened, while the other boy didn't seem at all effected by this weird man standing in front of him.

"Teyla…what happened this time?" was all Elizabeth could ask as she joined them down in the gate room, Carson came over, and stopped, stunned by the two lads standing in front of him.

"I do not know…really…"

"Mom is totally going to kick your ass," muttered the blonde boy.

The dark haired boy suddenly shot out and shoved the other boy in the shoulder, "watch your damn language!"

"Ouch! Don't start with me…" Rodney began as he prepared to fight his brother back.

"ENOUGH!" Teyla yelled as she suddenly stood between the two boys.

"Who are they?" Carson asked.

"They are…"

"John Sheppard at your service…" the dark haired boy said grinning. As soon as the members of Atlantis saw the cockeyed grin, they knew this boy was telling the truth.

"Then that makes you…" Elizabeth asked starting to point at the blonde haired boy.

"Rodney McKay," muttered the boy.

"Er…right," whispered Carson nodding, "lets get you to the infirmary…"

"Wait a damn minute…I'm not going anywhere! Where's Luke? Where's our mom?" Rodney yelled.

"Who's Luke?" Elizabeth asked.

"My father…" replied John.

"Okay…wait…you two are brothers…"

"Not yet we aren't!" hissed John.

"You wanna go!" yelled Rodney.

"Stop!" Teyla bit again.

"Look…boys," Elizabeth paused not quite sure what to make of them, "your mother and father…well you're temporarily in our care until your mother and father come back…now would you please go with Carson…"

"Come on lads…" Carson said as he allowed Teyla to usher them forward.

"Ronan…please take Johnny to my room, along with Lauryn…I don't think our boys will be caring for them anytime soon," she murmured.

"They don't get along very well," whispered Ronan.

"Well…I'm sure this will be interesting…when you're done come see me please," murmured Elizabeth.

"Yep," he replied as he headed off.

--------

Carson pressed the stethoscope to Rodney's bare and bone thin chest, "that's cold!" hissed the young boy.

"Sorry Rodney…is it alright to call you that?"

"I guess," muttered the boy as he turned his head away from the doctor.

"How do you feel Rodney? Anything hurt?"

"Besides my head…no…look where's Luke and Lauren…"

"They aren't here son, I'm sorry…"

"Don't call me son!"

"All right, I'm sorry. Tell you what, I bet your hungry right?"

Blue eyes looked around for a moment then nodded slightly, "I thought so, now you lay down on this bed, and I'll bring you some dinner and maybe something for your head."

"Are we in any danger here?" Rodney questioned as he looked up at Carson.

"No Rodney, you are in no danger, I promise…however, lad, your weight is what concerns me…you're only 120 pounds…for someone your age and height that is dangerously low."

"It's nothing," whispered the boy.

"Right…well if you need someone to talk to I'm here…"

"I wish Lauren were here," mumbled the boy from where he now lay across the cot.

Carson sighed, "aye me too lad…me too." With that he moved over to John's bed, separated by a curtain he looked at the boy, John was easily two or three inches taller than Rodney, but from what he knew about the boys, John was also nearly one year older, and probably already had enough muscle to pull his own weight.

"Dr. Johnson…how's our boy?" Carson asked.

"He seems fine, a little fever, but nothing major…we ran the blood work, he is John Sheppard."

"Of course I am," scoffed John.

"Thank you Johnson…could you please go to the mess and get me two trays of food." Carson waited until the doctor left and he looked at John, "all right lad…does your head hurt?"

"Yeah…a bit."

"So does your brothers…"

"He ain't…isn't my brother…" muttered John.

"But he does live with you and your folks?"

"They wanna adopt him…but they haven't decided yet…"

"And you don't want them to?"

"Well of course I do!" John said as if it were the most obvious and dumbest question in the entire world. "He just…he drives me insane sometimes…and he's already nearly a grade ahead of me….do you have any idea what that does to my reputation?"

"John…this is less about your reputation and more about that boy in there. He needs to know someone cares."

"Where's my mom and dad?"

"I told you they've gone away for awhile."

"Then why don't I remember? Dad tells me everything…and mom tells Rodney everything?"

"Look son this is only temporary…"

"Why are you lying? What are you hiding! Where are my parents! Where's Rodney!" The pre-teen was beginning to get hysterical Carson grabbed his arms to settle him down, but was stunned by how strong the teenager was who easily broke his grip. "RODNEY!"

"What?" came Rodney's voice. The other teenager hoped out of bed and looked at John.

"We're leaving…"

"Okay," whispered Rodney.

"Freeze!" Carson bit, he didn't like getting angry and raising his voice, but these two boys obviously called for it, at least at this moment. "Fine ye want the truth, then get over here, and sit on this bed, ye'll shut your mouths for once and listen to someone else, understand?"

Instantly the two boys hurried over to the bed and sat down, "good…you're on a base called Atlantis…you aren't on earth…in all truth ye both are in your thirties, not two youngin's. Your members of a mission to find the lost city of Atlantis, well we found it, and we're in the Pegasus Galaxy. You two are on the same team…ye have been for nearly three years. Your brothers, best friends…we don't know much else you two idiots touched something…again, and somehow ye got turned into teenagers again…snappy ones I might add."

The two boys were stunned into silence, and for a second Carson regretted telling the two young men this information until they instantly started questioning everything, so many questions Carson didn't hear half of them, he sighed and shook his head, "stop…just stop."

"What will you do with us?" Rodney asked.

Carson looked at his friend and smiled sadly, "we will keep you here, try to find a way to reverse…whatever has happened to you…isn't much else we can do… Can't send you home…"

"Is Earth…still there?" John asked this time.

"Aye, it is and hopefully will be for a very long time." Carson replied.

"What about Lauren and Luke?" Rodney asked quietly.

"I'm sorry boys…your parents have been dead for nearly ten years now…"

"No…" whispered Rodney.

John looked over at him sadly and gently reached out a hand to grasp the younger boy's hand, "don't worry Rod…we'll be okay…you know what dad says…together we've got the smartest and toughest head around."

Carson had to swallow a chuckle at the truth in that statement, there was no one tougher than these two or smarter in all of Atlantis. Carson just hopped they could find a way to reverse the process…he really didn't want to go through the boy's teenage years. He was surprised by how timid Rodney seemed around people. He knew enough of Rodney's past to know that he had been abused until he was ten, when his father died. However, Carson had assumed after two years with the Sheppards' that would have at least gotten a little better.

--------

Getting them to sleep had almost been too easy as far as Elizabeth and Carson were concerned. Rodney ate quietly, his brother by his side talking animatedly to him. Rodney didn't speak to anyone really, he would periodically glance up at Elizabeth, or Carson but then he'd look back at his food before they could speak to him. Carson helped John to his bed after supper, they tucked the two boys in, none of them missed Rodney's somewhat hesitant look as they were covered with two blankets and wished a good evening.

Carson personally retired to his office for a couple hours, and everyone else to their own quarters or office. However, Elizabeth had wandered back to the infirmary nearly four hours after they had fallen asleep. She watched them for a moment, her arms crossed over her chest, watching her two best men sleep. These, however, weren't her "men"…they were boys, a mere shadow of the men she had come to love.

Rodney was still very similar to the Rodney McKay she had come to know three and a half years ago. He was smaller, much smaller, than most children his age; he was skinny with hardly any muscle and where there was fat, she easily guessed it was baby fat. He was lying on his side, curled into a fetal position with his blankets kicked down at the end of the bed. Like her McKay he was hesitant to trust people, and yet seemed very willing to cling to his older brother when John was willing to be there.

John, on the other hand, was less like the John she knew…she could see the beginnings of the John she knew, but he was different. The twelve year old she was looking at, trusted the world, although her John did to a certain extent. He was cocky, and a little pushy, and seemed more uninterested in his little brother than her grown up John had been. He was about average height for a boy his age, but gangly, with very little fat and probably all muscles, he looked much younger than her John, and his hair was longer as well. The boy was sprawled on his stomach, head turned to one way, the blankets drawn all the way up to his ears, leaving only his nose and closed eyes to be seen.

Her attention was quickly drawn back to Rodney when she heard the boy begin to whimper and whine. She crossed the infirmary to his side, and gently reached out to smooth back his blonde hair. That was definitely one thing that had changed in his life time, he had gone from almost honey or dishwater blonde hair to dark brown.

She guessed it was a genetic trait, as a child she had had much lighter hair, that had progressively grown darker with age. She was sad to admit now it was growing lighter again and would someday be white. She smiled at the thought, as well as the fact that Rodney seemed to calm as she continued to gently run a hand through his hair until his breathing finally evened out again and he fell further into a slumber. Reaching out she pulled the blanket up around his shoulders and smiled gently at him.

Her eyes drifted to John, and she was surprised to see his hazel green eyes wide open, "hey…you okay?" she asked as she came over and sat down in front of him.

"I don't hate him…He's my best friend…" whispered John.

"We know…"

"Does he…I'm not always good to him, I rag on him all the time…but I never really tell him how thankful I am to have him in my life. You're good with kids…you got any of your own?"

"Sort of…I have a surrogate daughter who's about a year old…I take care of her off and on."

"That's cool…Our mom is a lot like you…which is probably why he reacted that way…he never did that for dad…I think he's scared of dad."

"Why?"

"His dad used to abuse him…beat him…I guess shortly after his sister left and his mother died his pop beat him close to death. Rodney was apparently in the hospital for a month before released right back into his dad's care."

"Wow…did he tell you that?"

"Yeah…it took some work to get it out of him…but he told me…He may be a complete snot sometimes…but he's a great brother…"

"I think we're all snots at times," Elizabeth smiled gently.

"Comforting…what are you going to do with us?"

"We're going to…attempt to find a way to get you back to our adult John and Rodney…"

"Rodney's really smart…you should ask him," smiled John.

"Good idea."

"Is Doc Beckett gonna let us go tomorrow."

"We'll see honey…why don't you get some more sleep," she pulled the blanket up a little and smiled at him.

"Night Liz," he mumbled as his eyes slid closed and he fell asleep again.

"Night John."

--------

Carson allowed the two boys to be released the next morning after they both had a hardy breakfast. Elizabeth and Teyla arrived shortly after they had started eating. Elizabeth calmly filled Rodney in on everything that had happened and he watched her in confusion.

"I'm only twelve…you expect me to know the answer to this?" he said gesturing to himself and John.

"No…we are hoping you'll help us, Rodney, you're very smart, and I know the thirty year old mind is in there somewhere. We need your help if you want to get back to normal."

"I could look…"

"Rodney, no holding back buddy, you can do this…" John said confidently as he eyed his brother.

"Okay, I'll help," Rodney said nodding.

"Good, why don't you two go get washed up and comfortable, then we'll take you on a little tour, then see if we can't start finding out why this happened," Elizabeth said patting the boy's knee.

---------

"No, no, no! You're totally wrong! These equations are all wrong…"

"No…" Radek began.

"Just shut up for a minute, trust me right here…and here," he said pointing to two different parts of the equation.

"He's just a kid…how is he gonna be smart enough to fix any problem?" Whispered one scientist who had worked on the same equation Rodney had just pointed to.

Rodney looked at her, he looked back at Radek, as if afraid Radek would agree, "Rodney…why don't you go find John…"

"You don't think I can do this!" cried Rodney suddenly.

Radek watched as the twelve year old boy flew out of the lab before Radek could disagree. He didn't see the tears starting to form in the child's eyes as he fled somewhere safer than where he would be ridiculed by people who believed he wasn't very smart, to get away from people who thought like his father had thought.

Elizabeth was walking through the halls when she saw the blur of blue running towards her, she reached out and grabbed the shoulders, "whoa, whoa, Rodney, what's wrong?" she asked he tried to fight to get away from her.

"Leave me alone!" he cried loudly.

"Rodney," she barked suddenly.

The boy stopped fighting and looked up at her, tears welling in his big blue eyes, his lower lip trembling. Elizabeth quickly did something she would never have done with her Rodney, she pulled him into a hug. Suddenly she found herself in the strong grasp of a sobbing pre-teen. She sighed, calmly rubbing his back and stroking his hair. "What happened Rod?"

"I'm just a kid…" he whimpered.

She pulled away and knelt down in front of him, "you're not a little kid to me…you're not my Rodney, but you're no small mindless child. Who said what?"

"It was nothing," he whimpered.

"No Rodney, if it upset you I have the right to know. People who upset a twelve year old boy, probably aren't helping my thirty-year old man now are they?"hishead shook in a no.

"What happened?"

"Couple of the scientists called me a little kid…they said I wasn't smart 'nough to help…that's what my dad used to say."

"Rodney, you listen to me, I've seen in action, as a child and as a man, you are the smartest man on all of Atlantis…you make mistakes, but you are very smart. You've saved my life more times than I can count, so don't listen to anyone who says you aren't good enough, okay?"

"But what if I'm not…what if I never get us back to normal."

"Then you stay like this…would that be so bad?" Weir didn't want him to lie, she didn't want him to say he wanted to be young. She didn't want him to be young, she wanted her Rodney back.

"I…I have the feeling I liked being an adult better…"

"You're right…you do, but you'll just have to find a way to fix that, won't you. Now come on, I've got more for you to look at," she said wrapping an arm around his shoulders and leading him back to his office. She didn't want to think how this little boy, who was so unsure of himself, so conscious of everything, so worried if he was doing something right became such a strong self-confident man.

----------

Carson sighed as he walked into the mess hall, his eyes landed on a small figure, he was surrounded by pictures and paper, his legs not even touching the ground, his head pillowed by his arms as he slept soundly.

"Good grief…no wonder the man doesn't sleep normal…neither does the child," murmured Carson tiredly. He walked over to the lad and gently nudged the boy's arm.

Two blue eyes slid open, "Carson…" an almost familiarity to the voice broke through. It was as though Rodney recognized the man standing before him suddenly, "figured it out…I think," Rodney whispered.

"Rodney…"

"Touchin..the base," he mumbled then slipped back into a restful sleep.

"Let's get you up," Carson gently gathered the pictures up, then scooped the twelve year old into his arms, the boy's blonde head resting against his shoulder.

"If you weren't such a pain in the ass as an adult…you might make a cute kid," muttered Carson. He tried to ignore how light his best friend was as he carried Rodney to the infirmary and deposited him on one of the beds. He looked at his dear friend for a minute and sighed, "eh, you're a cute kid…you're still a pain in the ass as an adult…but you're a good friend."

"Carson…" came the soft whisper from the bed.

Carson turned and smiled at his best friend, "aye?"

"Am I a good man…I'm not like my real dad?"

"Rodney, no you are a wonderful man, with many friends, you've become much better…many love you, even with your faults."

"I'm arrogant aren't I?"

"Why do you say that lad?" Carson said pulling up a stool.

"Because my dad always said I was arrogant…and I assumed becoming a man wouldn't change that…especially not if I'm smart…"

"You are sure of yourself…perhaps too much sometimes…but I don't know if I'd call you arrogant lad. Now get some sleep."

"I figured it out Carson…all by myself…"

"Good job lad…" Carson whispered as he covered the boy up under his covers.

---------

"We have to both touch the alter under the fountain…I think it's a sort of fountain of youth…" Rodney explained the next morning to Elizabeth, Ronan, John, Teyla and Carson.

"Wait…then wouldn't you have to drink from it?" Carson asked, feeling as though he were really talking to his best friend.

"Well…according to the legend yes…but the inscription says touch it and you'll become young again…I don't think it really detected me…you said that John and I have this gene…so together John and I probably activated it…my guess is if John had touched it he would be much younger, but it split the age between us, and turned us both into…pubescent whiners…"

Elizabeth chuckled softly, "then how do we change this?"

"We go back to the planet…and touch the alter again…" Rodney said, "theoretically…"

"As in you're not sure." Elizabeth questioned

"Uh…well…"

"Rodney?" John spoke.

"I can't guarantee it…but pretty sure…"

"All right…works for me," Elizabeth said nodding.

"Really?" Rodney said with excitement.

"Yep, Teyla have the team ready to go, Carson I want you with them."

"Yes ma'am," Carson said nodding.

Rodney looked thrilled that Elizabeth trusted him this much that she was willing to give them a go. Elizabeth looked over at the small boy and smiled, she could tell how excited he was about this. "It's okay Rodney…I trust you." She wasn't lying either, she trusted Rodney McKay with her life, and his life, and John's life.

"Thanks Elizabeth…" he said as he pushed himself from the table.

Elizabeth watched him go, knowing what she had just said to him made a world of difference to his frail ego. She smiled, suddenly he came running back into the room and over to her, "what's wrong?"

"I…I just…" he grabbed her around the waist and hugged her tightly, his head against her belly. She smiled softly, running her hand through his hair and smiled. Rubbing his back she couldn't wait for him to come back as a grown up.

"Good luck."

----------

Elizabeth waited, as patiently as she could, waiting for someone to tell her they were back, that everything had gone fine. Her eyes were on the gate, as she waited patiently.

"Incoming wormhole," called Major Ellis.

"Who is it?"

"It's Colonel Sheppard's team ma'am…"

"Lower the shield…" she turned back to the gate and waited. Teyla stepped through first, followed by Carson, then Ronan, then finally an adult John, and right behind him was her Rodney. Her grown up Rodney, with a wide grin on her face she couldn't help but descend the stairs with exuberance.

He walked over to her, standing right in front of her and grinned. "Thank you," he whispered.

She threw her arms around his neck out of impulse, and felt his arms curl around her waist. He pressed her cheek to his, and sighed in contentment, she had her Rodney back, and her John. Her two best men, her two best friends. "I missed you," she whispered.

"Me too," he replied. "Me too."


	42. In Another World

Chapter Forty-Two: In Another World

A single man sat hunched over his laptop, studying the latest information he had collected earlier that morning from a piece of ancient technology, four floors down. He rubbed his eyes wearily, and lifted the cold cup of coffee to his lips. He spit the cold coffee right back into his cup and set it down, grimacing at the watered down bitterness.

"Rodney…shouldn't you be asleep?" came Carson's voice suddenly.

Rodney jumped at the sound of his best friend's voice and smiled softly, "probably…I put Lauryn to sleep an hour ago…I wasn't tired so I thought I'd stay up for awhile."

"Aye, well you look exhausted now, so…are we doing anything big for the wee one's birthday?"

"Carson…she's only a year old."

"It's her birthday…"

"We're not discussing this Carson, that girl is spoiled plenty as it is, she doesn't need a birthday party."

"You're a party pooper."

"Carson, when she turns four or five…or she's more aware then maybe we'll have a birthday party, but as of this moment, she's only turning one, she'll survive with just everyone telling her they love her."

"Not even a cake?" Carson asked.

"No, because last I checked I'm the one who will be staying up with her all night as she comes down from the sugar high."

"She's my surrogate niece," grinned Carson.

"And she's my adoptive daughter…I have the papers to prove it…"

"Congratulations, come on Rodney…not even a small one with a whole group of us…"

"Dadda!" came a small cry from a nearby intercom.

"No," Rodney said as he stood up and headed for the door leading to his room.

"Rodney…" Carson began.

"Carson, I said no, go to sleep, I am," with that Rodney disappeared into the bedroom and smiled softly at the soon to be one year old girl crying in the crib, "hey there angel," he whispered as he reached down into the crib and gently lifted the girl into his arms. Pulling her close he smiled as she rested her head against his neck and sighed softly. "What's go my little girl in an uproar?" he moved calmly over to the nearby rocking chair and sat down, sighing softly to himself as he gently rubbed the whimpering baby's back.

"You realize you're going to be one in aweek…can you believe it. It was barely two years when we found you…You've changed my world little one…just ask anyone."

-----------

Lauryn was with Elizabeth for the afternoon, while Rodney worked four floors down on the ancient piece of technology he had found, it wasn't all that different than the machine they had found that had held the entity from a year and a half ago. He was so intent on the information, as the hours passed, he and Radek continued working, that he never noticed his friend calling him for lunch. Radek tried to pry Rodney from the machine twice, before finally giving up and getting some lunch. Radek returned nearly half an hour later, his friend still hunched over the machine and his computer screen, studying the information on the screen in front of him. He murmured something in Czech before moving back over to his corner.

Rodney sighed, eyeing his friend and reached into the machine to tap a few wires, suddenly he cried out in pain as he felt a jolt of electricity run through his entire body. Blackness engulfed him as he fell to the ground.

Radek was on the other side of the room when he heard Rodney's scream, just as he turned around, he watched in horror as Rodney's body dropped to the ground unconscious

"Rodney…what the hell?" Radek growled as sparks shot from the machine he had just touched, worried he headed over to his unmoving friend. He half expected Rodney to wake up and start complaining, but was horrified when he reached out to shake him, and found his friend absolutely limp. Reaching over his arms, Radek pressed his finger's to Rodney's neck…nothing. "DOCTOR BECKETT!"

The next twenty-five minutes were absolute chaos, Beckett pushed Radek out of the way as he came in to study his best friend, orders were shouted, tears were shed, and anger was vented. Rodney was taken straight up to the infirmary, where Carson put him on life support, the prognosis wasn't good, "he's alive…we got his heart beating again…however we have reason to believe he's brain dead."

Teyla, Ronan, Radek, John and Elizabeth all stood, staring in stunned sadness as Carson explained the news to them. "Can we sit with him?" Elizabeth asked gently as she tried to hide the tears that had begun to well in her eyes.

"Of course…talk to him…if he's still in there, then he'll hear ye," with that Carson headed back into his office, his shoulders showing the defeat and sadness.

Elizabeth walked over to the bed Rodney was lying in, he looked so pale against the white sheets, tubes running in and out of his arms, mouth, nose, patches on his forehead measuring his brain waves. She placed a hand against his soft silky brown hair and sighed, she allowed the tears in her eyes to show, to fall. She wasn't going to hold back, she regretted never telling him the truth, now she was going to show that regret and how dearly she loved this man. "I know you're still in there…and I know you can hear me…so come back, please," she bit her bottom lip, then leaning over she pressed a kiss to his forehead. The 'whoosh' of the ventilator pumping air in and out of his unresponsive lungs was the only sound to be heard in the room as his friends gathered around his body.

Looking across his brother's body to Elizabeth, John reached down and lifted his brother's limp hand into his, squeezing it tight, letting his brother know silently, that he was here and waiting.

-----------

"Hello?" he called softly looking around. He was confused, and disoriented, "anybody? What's going on?"

"Mom! Have you seen my pants!" came the voice of a young boy.

Rodney whirled around to see a young boy, no more than ten standing there in boxers and a short sleeve shirt looking angry, frustrated and in a hurry.

"No Keith, I haven't, did you look in your dresser?" came Elizabeth Weir's voice.

Again Rodney swiveled, stunned to see her standing there, looking beautiful as any other day, she had a little more gray hair, but what really struck Rodney was the beautiful gold band around her left ring finger.

"Elizabeth?" Rodney asked taking a step towards her, he reached out his hand, she was so beautiful, so amazing, she always had been, but here she seemed to just glow…She seemed so full of life.

"Liz…why are Keith's pants in our bathroom?" Rodney turned his head, stunned to see an older version of himself standing there, wearing jeans and a long sleeve shirt. A pair of jeans in one hand, the boy that had been standing in the room suddenly grabbed the pants from the older Rodney.

"Thanks dad!" the boy then hurried out of the room.

"He took a shower in our room last night, because the girls were using their's."

"Sweetheart, why don't we just find bigger quarters…" the older Rodney complained.

"Because, we're moved in here, and I really don't wanna move ten feet down the hall, besides the girls don't do that very often, so I just let him sneak into our bathroom."

"What is going on here?" Rodney spoke again as he looked around, he reached out to touch the older version of himself and gasped as his hand went right through the image.

"You are here to observe, not to be heard or seen…" came a female voice behind him.

Turning yet gain, Rodney looked at the woman, she was tall with raven hair and bright green eyes, "Seri?"

"Yes Rodney…when I died, I ascended…"

"AM I DEAD?" Rodney said suddenly, not liking this idea very much.

"No…but you are dying, I'm here to help that transition."

"You want me to…ascend? If you think they want me, then you're wrong. No one…I'm not done here on earth…I mean Atlantis…I mean…I've got a daughter…"

"You are here to observe…Rodney you are going to die," Seri explained.

"No! I'm going back to my Atlantis! I'm going to survive."

"You were electrocuted Rodney…"

"I don't care!" he cried, suddenly everything around him in the room stopped, "I want to live, to survive! I wanna thrive! I love the people I work with! I see my brother everyday….I see my best friend everyday…I watch my daughter shine with glee as she succeeds at the little things I won't ascend! I won't die! I haven't come this far! I haven't beaten so many things to die because of some fucking malfunction in a damn machine! I'm SMARTER THAN THAT!" he yelled.

"Observe…" was all she said.

Rodney let out a huff of anger and looked back towards the Alternate Atlantis Universe, the older Rodney seemed to be in his late forties early fifties, he looked good, aging had been good for him.

"Daddy," both the younger and older Rodney turned. A small girl came out of a bedroom on the opposite side of the room, she was beautiful, she looked so much like Elizabeth with the dark chestnut hair, her eyes were ocean blue around the pupil, but became greenas they moved out.

"What's wrong?" the older Rodney questioned as he lifted the little girl into his arms.

"She's…she's perfect," Rodney whispered as he watched himself hold the little girl.

"Rod, we should get going," Elizabeth said she moved over to the older Rodney, and gently pressed a kiss to the little girl's temple, "come here Bethie, lets get you ready," she said as she lifted the girl into her arms.

"Keith, buddy let's go, Uncle Carson waits for no one," Rodney called.

The ten year old boy hurried into the room, "I think Lauryn went to the labs already dad," explained the boy.

"Don't worry about your sister, son, she's a big girl, she can handle herself."

"That's not what you said when you saw her and Johnny together," Keith replied grinning.

"Son," Rodney paused, "shut up," there was a joking tone in his voice as he cupped the back of his son's neck and they made their way out of the large room.

"Dad…is that you?" Rodney stared at his daughter, the world he came from his little girl was just turning one, and none of his other children existed, but here…she had to be at least sixteen or seventeen.

"You can see me?" Rodney asked suddenly.

"Sure…but you look different…"

"Seri?" Rodney called quickly, searching for the ancient. The world around him stopped again

"She can see me? Why? How?" Rodney questioned.

"I cannot tell you this...if you wish to live, however, she is the only one who can help you."

Rodney looked back at his daughter, "Lauryn, I'm from another world...I need your help. Your father, from this universe will be in at any moment, down four floors there's a piece of ancient technology, I believe it's some sort of electrical stasis chamber...I think it takes...well I think it might capture the person's soul. I need you to help me...I need you to help send me back to my world by releasing...what might be my soul caught in the chamber."

For a moment, he was sure she hadn't heard him, didn't understand him, then finally she spoke, "how can I help?"

"It needs to be recalibrated, I think with your help I can rewire it and reverse the affects...essentially sending me back to my year."

"Where is it?"

"Four levels down, by the water sanitation systems...tell your dad that's what it is...he may not believe you, but well he'll get over it...trust me."

"I'll meet you there," Lauryn said suddenly as she heard her father's footsteps. The door quickly slid open and the older Rodeny stepped through the door.

"You're up early," he spoke gently, as if trying to be casual.

"I wanted to get some paper work done," she replied just as casual.

"Right...So, how's Johnny?"

It caught her off guard, and she naturally answered, "he's fine..." she winced.

"He's your cousin..."

"Not by blood. I'm adopted."

"He's twenty-two."

"So, he's my best friend, I can like him...if I want to."

"I won't stop you if you two...start dating."

"Dad...don't worry."

"Right, well it's my job to worry I'm your father."

"Do you mind if I go work on another project?"

"Where?"

"Water sanitation, four floors down?"

"Yep, call if you have any trouble...and don't forget to eat."

"That's calling the kettle black," muttered Lauryn.

-----------

Rodney was already waiting for her when she finally arrived in the smaller lab, where he stood studying the ancient device. "Took you long enough," he mumbled.

"Sorry, so what happened?" She asked rubbing her hands as she headed over towards the machine

"Don't touch it!" Rodney suddenly shouted.

Lauryn jumped slightly and nodded, "sorry bout that... bad habit..."

"Yes, one you know doubt got from Carson or John...Anyway I touched one of the wires, I felt an electric volt surge through my body, then I was here."

"Wow...did it hurt?"

Rodney looked at her as if she were the dumbest person in the world, "please tell me your kidding..."

"Right...sorry, dumb question, anyway what needs to be done?"

"Open your laptop, I'll fill you in on the schematics, then we'll go from there. Essentially we need to recreate what happened to me."

"Wait...you wanna re-electrocute yourself?"

"Do you have a better idea? Cause I'm open to suggestions."

"Snappy," she mumbled very similar to what Carson had always said.

"You're spending way too much time with Carson."

"I baby-sit his kids."

"Kids, huh? Who'd he marry."

"I shouldn't really tell you that."

"So...you and Johnny?"

"Sorta...dad and Uncle John seem to think so, but we're just friends...really close friends."

"So, I shouldn't be concerned?"

"We're not doing anything if that's what your inferring, I care for him...I'm not sleeping with him."

"Yes well, your far too you to be doing that sort of thing anyway."

"Yeah, I know dad, believe it or not but you did teach me a few of the basic things. Don't worry."

"It's my job to worry, I'm your father."

------------

Elizabeth sat silently beside Rodney's bed, her elbows propped up on her knees as she looked between the pasty, white, unresponsive face and the monitors for his brain activity.

"Liz?" Carson whispered as he wandered through the dark empty infirmary towards his dear friend. "Have ye been here all night?"

"Yeah...couldn't sleep. I just kept thinking about him waking up and being alone...I didn't want him to be alone."

"He wasn't alone lass, I would have been here."

"It just doesn't seem to be fair...why is it always him?" she whispered. "I don't know if I can keep doing this?"

"Doing what?" Carson questioned.

"I keep getting closer and closer to him...then something happens and I feel like a part of me is dying... I can't keep watching him, or John almost die..."

"My father was a fireman..." Carson said suddenly.

Elizabeth was stunned by this, Carson rarely shared any information about his father, she never truly understood why. However she remained silent as he sat down across the bed from her.

"He died when I was ten...that dreaded phone call all mums fear getting...anyway, she was sittin' at home one night...an' one of those cars rolled up...it was my da's fire chief...my mum knew then that he was dead. He died in a collapsed building, never had a prayer...they kept trying to get to him...but he told them to stop trying, save themselves. Anyway...I remember askin mum, a few years later, how she did it."

"And?"

"She looked at me and smiled, 'Carson' she began, 'when ye love someone, ye take the good with the bad, an' ye pray for them, every mornin' when ye wake up, and every nigh' before ye go to sleep,'" Elizabeth watched him smile faintly as his eyes misted over, he paused, looking down at his hands for a moment, "Elizabeth...if you love him, if you love John, even just as friends or brothers...you'd be surprised what you'd put up with, deal with. It's not the frightening moments in between that leave ye breathless, but the joy they bring every other day of your life. That's why ye keeping doing it, because the good always out weighs the bad..."

She smiled softly, unable to find any words that could express her gratitude or respect for the man sitting in front of her, reaching out her hand, she was glad when he took her's. Together the two sat in silence, grasping one another's hand, perhaps deep down somewhere, they were praying for another chance with their closest friend, or maybe they were just keeping vigil over their sick friend, it didn't matter. They did it together.

---------------

"I think I have it..." Lauryn said finally.

"Good..." Rodney paused suddenly, "Seri!" he called again.

The world around him paused for another time, and Seri appeared, "you rang?" she mumbled in annoyance.

"If I do this...if I go back...will my life change? Or will I live to just die another day like that other reality?"

"Your future is whatever you make it Rodney, does it truly matter what happens a day from now, or ten years? You will die one day, perhaps today isn't going to be the day, but someday you will die...only you can write your future."

"How cryptic...Do you know Oma?"

"Goodbye Rodney," she said as she turned to leave.

Once again Rodney was left with Lauryn, his sixteen year old daughter and their machine, "Lauryn...if this doesn't work..."

"Dad, just try it."

"I will...I just wanted to say..."

"Dad...I don't want to hear it, whatever you have to say can be said when you get back..."

"But I..."

"Dad...please," Rodney was stunned at how familiar this conversation was. He just looked at her, then nodded slowly. Reaching out with hesitation he was surprised that his hand was more solid than before. He touched the button from earlier. He felt another jolt shoot through his body, then his world was black.

----------

His surroundings began to return, the images around him became fuzzy noises, "he's got normal brain waves..." came one voice.

"Normal for him...or normal for everyone else, because if it's normal for everyone else I think there's something very wrong with him..." came another.

He didn't open his eyes again until three days later when he finally did wake he was pleased that the lights were lower than they had been before when he had tried to awaken. "Carson?" Rodney called weakly that evening; he had woken up again, finding himself hungry and thirsty.

"Yes Rodney?"

"Lauryn's birthday...it's tomorrow right?"

"Aye..."

"Could we...could you make her a batch of cookies or something..."

"Aye, I think we can do that..."

"Sucks...to have her dad in the hospital for her first birthday," he muttered as he picked at the food Carson had suddenly placed in front of him.

"Aye...but it would suck more if ye weren't here at all..."

-----------

Rodney was sitting up in bed early the next morning, jabbing his fork at the jell-o. "Carson says your on the mend…" the voice startled him, sending his spoon clattering to the floor.

"Elizabeth…" he said smiling, "hi."

"Hi yourself, as I said Carson says your getting better quite quickly…for someone who was unconscious nearly six days…"

"I do my best…Look…Liz…"

"No, hang on a minute…I want you to listen to me…" paused, waiting for him to nod slowly, "You are…the best friend I've ever had. I can talk to you, tell you things, that I can't tell some people. I love you, I won't stand here and try to deny the fact that I've spent the past two years falling for you. However…I think, at least for the time being we should…just be the friends that we've always been."

"All right," he whispered, not wanting to admit that her saying these very words hurt.

"I'm sorry Rodney…"

"No…don't be…listen, uh, could you get Lauryn…it's her birthday and all," he said smiling weakly.

------------

"Happy Birthday dear Lauryn, happy Birthday too you!" everyone sang. Rodney smiled as the girl clapped with glee and blew out her solitary candle. There was nothing in his world as important to him as this little girl in his arms.

"Happy birthday my angel," he whispered gently kissing her forehead

"Okay everyone; let's leave the father and daughter alone for awhile," Carson said after everyone had given their presents to the sweet girl. He ushered everyone out before eyeing his best friend. "Rodney…I don't know if it matters right now…but I'll always be here as a friend."

"I know Carson, and thank you," replied Rodney smiling gently.

He watched his friend go, then faced his little girl, her beautiful eyes looked up at him innocently as she played with the rubics cube Rodney had given her. "I just wanted to tell you…not that you really care…you're one of the good things in my life sweetheart, you've changed me…for the better, thank you beautiful…" he pressed a kiss to her head and smiled as she giggled.

"Wov dadda," she said gently tapping his cheek.

A/N: So I made this deal with nebbyJ that if she updated I would as well...so needless to say I'm a woman of my word, here's another chapter. These story lines never get old for me. Really, one thing you may notice is that these different universes Rod keeps seeing differ greatly...just remember that it's said there are hundreds of paths that could each lead to a different future. Hence the reason this really doesn't get old for me, although I do promise it's the last one for awhile :) Next update will be Thursday or Friday afternoon.


	43. Lost in the Hive

A/N: So if You haven't seen the Hive yet you may wanna wait until you see it to read this chapter, that said spoilers to boy Lost Boys and the Hive, this is a very long chapter, actually most chapters have been ranging from 15-20 pages recently except for two chapters one was 10 and the other was 40 pages so as you can see they eqaul each other out to some...power. Anyway please read and review, it's back to college life for me Sunday, I will have another update to you by Monday or Tuesday afternoon :).

Chapter Forty-Three: Lost in the Hive

John sighed as he took the front, Ronan and Teyla near the back as usual, and of course Rodney was right by John's side; driving his big brother up the wall…as usual.

"This is ridiculous," muttered Rodney as he tried to keep his footing.

"Well, keep complaining about it and we may get there faster." John shot in return. There were days when his brother could easily try the patience of a saint…and today seemed to be one of those days. He had to hide his smile, but a part of him was honestly glad to have his brother back to normal after all they had been through.

"Well, couldn't we have met these people on a tropical beach planet populated by tall blonde women, hmm?"

"Whoever wants to speak with us obviously values their privacy," Teyla piped up from behind them.

"Yes, well I value my _time_, and this is a waste of it."

"What's a waste of time is listening to you, Rodney." Grumbled John, he didn't mean for it so sound so annoyed, but he was getting tired of hearing the man grumble and gripe.

"Yeah, well it strikes me that this is a mission better suited to one of the, uh, lower echelon teams."

"Lower echelon?" Ronan asked in confusion.

"He means to say less important." Replied Teyla shaking her head. Part of her knew what Rodney said was true, they were indeed the most talked about, and perhaps most respected and best team on Atlantis, some even said they reviled the SG-1 team from earth, however she also knew that Rodney was trying to be a spoiled brat, not to truly make a point.

"We got a tip from one of Teyla's contacts; we're following it up."

"And this is like, what? The umpteenth tip we've followed up in search of a ZedPM?"

"Rodney," came Teyla's kind yet some what annoyed warning.

"Look, I just wanna make it clear that every second I am out of my lab is a second the galaxy goes without another ground-breaking ..." His words were cut off when he was hit in the back with something. He dropped to the ground, unconscious and unaware that the rest of his team followed.

-----------

John shook his head to clear it when whatever had been over it was finally removed. He was seated at a table, he quickly searched, not having to look far, for his other three team members. They were in a cave, there was food on the table in front of them, and men with guns standing far to close to his team. "You guys okay?" he asked.

"Oh yeah, fine!" hissed Rodney.

"Seems like a whole lot of trouble to go through just to get us to dinner. Not a talkative bunch, are you?" John mumbled when the men didn't respond.

"We'll release you from your bindings if you promise not to attack us." The first man spoke.

"Sure," came Ronan's sarcastic remark.

"Yeah. We promise," John replied as well, just as unconvincing as Ronan was and just as annoyed.

John jumped at the sound of a familiar laugh, all eyes moved to Aiden Ford, he was alive, but looked just like he had the last time John had seen him. Ronan tried to jump to his feet, but he was pushed down by a man. "Before we untie them, they have to know they're among friends."

"Ford?"

"Thought I was dead, didn't you Shep?" the man said grinning. "Now please, eat," he said grinning. Reaching out he took a bite of Teyla's food, as if to prove something. Ronan just sniffed the food, the other's didn't move. Rodney tentatively picked up something and put it in his mouth.

"Well men, this used to be my team." Ford said to one man, then paused at Ronan, "Well, not this one, but I think he's OK too."

"What is all this?" John asked.

"Some local vegetables; a sorta alligator thingy. It tastes like salted meat, it's good, try it." Answered Ford, knowing exactly what John meant, but not caring.

"I'm not talkin' about the food. What the hell is going on?"

"Who are these men? And why bring us here like this?" Teyla added.

"Whoa. That's a lot of questions," Ford replied smiling.

"Pick one," bit Ronan.

""Pick one". That's good. Where'd you find him, Sheppard?"

"Maybe you should start with how you managed to escape being culled by the Wraith Dart, hmm?" Rodney paused noticing his brother's look, "What? I get nervous, I get hungry. It's the enzyme. Makes you almost immune to the Wraith stunner so when you're dematerialized from the Wraith Dart, you're awake as opposed to, uh ..." Rodney stopped.

"... as opposed to dead." Answered Ford. "I cut open its enzyme pouch, took my fill, made my way off the ship. You can get around pretty easy on a Wraith ship. They're not used to people making it aboard, so there's next to no security. I walked off with enough enzyme to last me a little while. Tracked down the Stargate, dialed the first friendly address I could remember," explained Ford

"We know how to administer it now, how to regulate it, refine it. We've gotten so good, we can even lace food with it," he paused watching his former teammates get very nervous. "Congratulations. You just had your first dose."

"What!" Rodney cried spitting out the food.

"I thought long and hard about how to show you that the enzyme was safe, to convince you that it was the first step to defeating the Wraith. So you can convince Weir, convince the military." Smiled Ford.

"Are you out of your mind?" Rodney screamed as he stood, fuming at the man he had once considered his friend.

"Hey, settle down, McKay," Ford said grinning.

"No, I will not settle down! I've been drugged against my will, you little punk!" Rodney's voice cracked as he felt his stomach begin to churn…how many times was he going to be betrayed, how many times would he have to suffer?

"You should_ not_ have done this, Aiden." Teyla said trying to remain calm.

"Hey, be as mad as you want. Couple of days, you'll be thankin' me. We'll have a good laugh about this. Now eat up," Ford said grinning.

------------

John sat at the table, watching his three friends pace, however his eyes solely watching the little brother he had failed. Rodney's breathing was heavy, and it was obvious that he was scared, no doubt from memories he was having.

"Seriously, I'm getting, uh, I'm getting, uh, chills and hot flashes, chills and hot flashes again and again. None of you are feeling that?" Rodney whimpered

"The enzyme's side effects are gonna be the least of his concerns if he keeps this up," Growled Ronan.

"I know – just be patient…look Ronan, he's having a rough time, in case you've forgotten about the past four months…they haven't exactly been easy for him."

"Historically, that hasn't been a strength for me," snapped Ronan.

"I _know,_" replied John tiredly. He wanted nothing more than to just grab his brother and hug him, tell him that everything was going to be okay, he wanted nothing more than to believe that everything was going to be okay, but not for the first time in the past year, he didn't feel very good about anything right now.

-----------

"Regardless, the hive ship will be on a hyperspace pause, yes, but it will not enter the planet's atmosphere, nor will it take up any sort of stable orbit. It will be flying through space, which means that unless your enzyme allows you to jump much higher than you've let on ..." Rodney growled.

"We've got a spaceship," Ford replied smiling.

"Oh yeah? Really? What's it made out of, huh? Bark?" McKay spoke sarcastically.

"No, it's real, McKay. In fact, it's the only ship I'd feel comfortable using on a mission like this."

He turned, along with the rest of the team, and they all watched in horror as Aiden's men unveiled the Wraith Dart. John felt his stomach clinch, "okay…where'd you get it?"

"Does it matter?"

"None of us have had much success flying it. Banged it up pretty bad last couple of landings. It's in need of some repairs," spoke one man Aiden called Kanayo.

"And a real pilot," grinned Ford.

"This is why you brought us here?" John felt his anger rising, this is why Ford had brought them, had kidnapped them, had drugged them.

"It's the reason I waited 'till now, yeah."

"Assuming this guy can get it working again," Kanayo replied as he poked Rodney in the arm.

"He can, these people are the best at what they do," bragged Ford.

"Look, you fly it, you scoop us up, you take us to the hive, you drop us off. All we need is time to lay the charge. We'll be in and out of there before the Wraith have any idea what's going on," explained Kanayo.

"It's perfect," grinned Ford.

"It's _far_ from perfect," snapped Rodney.

"But-it is possible," John finally spoke again.

"Colonel…" Teyla said in disbelief.

"Are you honestly…honestly considering this?" Rodney asked, betrayal in his eyes.

John sighed, "it's on it's way to a culling Rod…"

"Yeah and I'm sorry…but this is insane!"

"Maybe not…" Sheppard began, as he tried to reason his brother, he knew it wouldn't happen.

"Jace has been trying to get it working, but he's not you McKay. Can you fix it?" Ford asked.

"Probably not!" retorted the astrophysicist.

"That usually means yes," pointed Sheppard, suddenly aware of the angry glare from both Ronan and Teyla, as well as the betrayal in Rodney's eyes.

"Aren't you the one _not_ taking the enzyme? You're supposed to be the clear voice of reason here." Bit Rodney in one last shot of desperation.

"Look, can you _fix _it?" Ford spoke.

"Even if I could, I wouldn't. I'm sorry – drug me all you want, I'm not doing this!" he growled as he stalked off away from them. He couldn't hold the anger back anymore, desperately as he tried to blink the tears from his eyes that had somehow formed.

"Let me talk to him – he'll come round," John murmured. He felt terrible, he had hurt his brother. He hurried after him, thankful that the scientist hadn't gotten far. "Rod…"

"You are on the enzyme…he just won't tell you! Because no rational person…not the John Sheppard I know…would think this idea was good!" bit Rodney as he continued to walk away.

"Rod, stop," John said grabbing his brother's arm and whirling him around. "I'm sorry, okay, this is a shitty idea, obviously, but there are good things that could from it, okay. For starters I could convince Ford to put you guys on the ground team, I could sweep all of us up, and then take us home. Rodney, I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you…"

"Do you realize how many times you've said that…"

"Rod…"

"No John! We could get killed! I for one would like to return to my daughter safe and preferably alive! Wouldn't you! What about Johnny? We've been gone for at least two days…don't you think they're a little worried about us right now. In another five days they'll announce us MIA…and in a month they could pronounce us KIA! Is that how you want this to happen?"

"Rodney, listen to me, okay, that's not going to happen. I won't let it happen. Ford…the Aiden we used to know and love is still in there somewhere, he's still listening to us, we just have to reach him."

"He's drugged…"

"So are you…by the way, when did you do pot in college?" John grinned as his brother shook his head.

"That's not the point here John…I'm sorry, I'm scared…" whispered Rodney.

John nodded and squeezed his brother's shoulder. "Yeah…so am I, you have to believe me Rodney, the last thing in the world I ever want to happen again is for you to be captured or hurt. I didn't want this or plan for this to happen."

"I know," whispered Rodney finally.

"Don't give up on me Rod, I haven't finished with Ford yet…I'll get us out of this."

"And if you can't?" questioned Rodney.

"Then you will Super Rodney," John grinned as he wrapped an arm around his brother's shoulder.

-----------

John sat in the cockpit of the Wraith dart, looking at some of the things around him, he found it quite disturbing to be sitting in one of these, but he remained quiet. Jace, one of Aiden's henchmen, stood on the ladder also looking in.

"Okay, move," Rodney said as he took Jace's place. "Look this is probably gonna make you a little uneasy but, well…when the canopy forms it's perfectly opaque."

"Then how am I supposed to fly this thing?"

"The whole thing is one giant heads-up display. It'll show you all the per pertinent information that you need," Rodney explained.

"You mean…in WRAITH?" John looked at his brother in a loss of words.

"Yeah…which is why I've installed an interface to translate a lot of the readouts," Rodney replied.

"And by "a lot" you mean "all"…right, because my Wraith isn't so hot…"

"It's enough that you'll get by just fine."

"I knew you could do it. Right on time," Ford said as he came over and slapped his former friend on the shoulder. "Kanayo's gonna get suited up, so you should get ready."

"Right," McKay murmured, he quickly eyed his brother again, the climbed off the later. He headed past Teyla to get ready, while Aiden climbed up the ladder and smiled.

"Seems nervous."

"You know Rodney," mumbled John trying to remain as neutral as possible.

"You know how to dial the DHD on this thing?" Ford questioned.

"The address is already memorized."

"Good, Listen I should really tell you there's been a slight change of plans."

"Oh yeah?" John tried not to act scared or nervous.

He watched in horror as Ford called out his henchman, within seconds everyone had a gun pointed at everyone else. Kanayo smiled and grabbed Rodney roughly; John watched his brother struggle to stay on his feet.

"What the hell do you think your doing?" yelled John in a sudden rush of fear.

"McKay's gonna stay here…while we do the operation…Take him."

John watched his brother began to protest and cry out for help. John's stomach turned to led, this was too familiar, no doubt for Rodney as well. 'Oh god' John thought, as he realized he had yet again failed his little brother. He had made a promise, and now he failed.

"You didn't really buy that whole speech I gave you…wow I thought you were smarter than that," laughed Ford.

"YOU STUPID BASTARD!" screamed John as he tried to lunge out at the twit, Ford instantly had a gun pointed at John.

"There's definitely one thing I learned about you and that dear baby brother of yours…that look…you need to stop looking at each other before you execute a plan…it's dead give away."

"If you hurt a single hair on his head, I'm going to kill you!" growled John.

"You said the same thing to the Genii…"

John wanted to scream, wanted to kick, most of all he wanted to run after his little brother and get him the hell out of this situation. How could he keep failing Rodney, how many times would his brother suffer before John finally got something right?

-------------

"Shouldn't they be back by now?" Rodney asked for what seemed like the hundredth time. He was scared, terrified actually…was a much better word. His brother, Teyla and Ronan were out there without him, and he didn't feel they needed him, for once he honestly felt he needed them. He had failed his brother, he hadn't found a way to save them yet. The longer they were gone the least likely they were to survive. This wasn't like John being caught under rubble or being held hostage, no this was very different. This was more like knowing he was quite possibly gone forever. He wished he had told his brother something before they left, that he loved him, that John was his best friend. He wished he had told him how thankful he was to have John in his life, how thankful he was especially to have him in the past three months after the whole kidnapping. He wished he had given Lauryn another kiss…he wished he had kissed Elizabeth at the Christmas party when he had wanted to. Wished he had told her that he really did love her, and that no matter what it meant he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. To hold her forever and protect her from the world, he wished he had told her that he wanted her to help raise his daughter, so she would be their daughter.

-------------

Ronan glared at Ford angrily as he watched Sheppard escorted off, "if he dies…you die," he said blatantly. Although Ronan was seriously going tokill the little bastard for what he had done to McKay as it was.

The Wraith marched John down the corridor and into a chamber very similar to the one Sumner had been in. Gulping past the lump in his throat, John began to take the room in around him. He gasped when he suddenly came face to face with a female wraith. She smiled at him and lifted her hand to his cheek, gently sliding it down her his cheek, "Kneel," she spoke and watched John drop to his knees against his will.

All John could think was 'where is Rodney when I need him.'

"The ship? Where did you get it?" the Wraith queen asked as she stared into his eyes.

John struggled to not reply, he couldn't it could very well mean the lives of his friends. "You mean the Dart? We call them Darts because they're so pointy," he replied finally.

"Tell me. Where?"

"I really don't wanna say."

The Wraith grinned as she suddenly backhanded him, John grunted and recoiled from the aggressive slap, realizing what his brother probably felt like all those years ago. Suddenly her long talon came to caress his cheek, "I don't even know your name," he managed to grunt.

"In time, you will tell me every..."

"Tell you what?" John watched her leave as two of the other wraith grabbed him by the arms, "What's wrong? She didn't even tell me her name!" he cried as they dragged him out the door.

John wasn't going to lie that he was relieved to see Teyla and Ronan in the cell looking obviously unharmed, Teyla immediately looked up at him and smiled, "Colonel?" She watched as the Wraith opened the cell and threw John in, sending him crashing to the floor by her feet. "Are you all right?" she asked kneeling by his side and gently helping him to roll over.

"Where'd they take you?" Ronan asked as he moved over to John and offered him a hand.

"A little Q and A with the Queen of the hive," He mumbled as he dusted off his pants off.

"What'd you tell her?" Ford suddenly asked from where he stood in a nearby corner.

Sheppard sat down on the bench, grimacing slightly, "it was a short conversation, she walked out before I could say a word."

"Why?"

John rolled his eyes at Ford's question, no wonder Rodney got annoyed with the officer. "I dunno. Maybe she was late for a meeting."

"No. There's something else. I sense she was agitated, even angry," Teyla offered as she moved over to sit down beside him.

"Why?"

"Another hive ship has arrived," she explained as she looked up at the ceiling, closing her eyes for a moment.

"Are you sure there's another ship?"

"I sense it, close by."

"Well, maybe they're planning on culling the planet together," mumbled John.

"Or they're gonna fight for it," Ford offered, sounding a little more like the old Ford.

"Either way, the planet's only a few days away so we don't have much time if we still intend to stop them," replied the man named Kanayo.

"Alright. First things first: how to get out. Any luck?" John asked as he stood and move towards the door. He sighed, if Rodney were here, he could get them out. His mind suddenly moved to his brother on Ford's planet.

"Not yet," replied Ronan, snapping John from his thoughts as the larger man joined John by his side at the door.

"Don't worry, I'll figure a way out," Ford replied confidently.

"Yeah…right, I was afraid you would say that," mumbled John.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Ronan asked.

"Worried, that's all…" whispered John.

"About?" Ronan asked.

"Rodney," whispered John softly again, "not to mention what my kid must be thinking."

"I am sure they are fine, we will get Rodney," Teyla offered as she gripped John's elbow.

"Right, just have to keep reminding myself how resourceful that guy is," John replied but he didn't feel it, he didn't feel confident.

------------

"Okay, they definitely should have been back by now. Seriously, am I the only one who thinks that maybe things haven't gone according to plan?" Rodney said suddenly as he paced around the entranced of Ford's cave.

"Yes," replied one guard as he rolled his eyes and continued to play the game with his partner.

"Okay, look, we can't just sit here. We need, we need to, we need to do something," mumbled Rodney nervously.

"Like what?" The guard returned.

"Like go get help! Look, we can dial the Stargate back to Atlantis where we have a ship – a fast ship with, with, with shields. We can fly to the hive and then, then rescue them if we need to."

"Can't dial the Gate, remember? Ford removed the control crystals from the dialing device."

"Yes, I _know_ that. But here's the good news: _you're_ the ones guarding them! Look, all you have to do is get me the crystals, I can fix the DHD and then, then, then; look, you just have to walk into Ford's little room back there and get em."

"We're not giving you anything."

"Then I can't dial the Gate." Rodney answered the guard again, getting further annoyed and agitated.

"What I said." The guard replied.

"What is this, an Abbott and Costello routine? Look, just give me the damned crystals!" He quickly made his way toward Aiden's room, however both the guards quickly got to their feet and blocked him, pointing their guys at him.

"You want the crystals, you're gonna have to go through us first."

"Unbelievable!" he growled as he stormed away. He tried to breathe deeply, but he was getting scared and nervous. His mind was going a hundred miles a minute and he felt like he was losing it.

-------------

John sighed as he looked at the control panel, suddenly remembering something Rod had done before, "last time we were on one of these ships McKay was able to open the door by cutting right into the wall…"

"You like with a knife?" Ford asked as he suddenly pulled a small knife out of his jacket.

"You have a knife?"

"One for them to fine, and one to keep, everyone knows that…" Ford deduced.

Sheppard felt like an idiot, the military taught them that, it had been the first thing he had taught Rodney when they had arrived on Atlantis, however he knew for a fact that while Ronan, Teyla, Elizabeth and Ford probably listened to that rule all the time, Carson and McKay were not people who would. "Right! Forgot all about that rule."

"Well it's a good thing I'm here," Ford said grinning.

John chose to really ignore the comment, it was his fault they were in this position in the first place. John didn't feel like Ford being here was a good thing at all, "right…" pointing to the wall he nodded, "now just uh…take your time…"

Aiden threw the knife into the panel but it didn't budge, John growled "I said take your time!" as he grabbed the knife out of the wall.

"I hit the exact spot you pointed too!"

"All right! Anybody else have a knife?"

Ronan stepped forward and rolling his eyes he pulled out his own small knife, flinging it at the wall. John rolled his eyes, unable to believe he was the only one who apparently forgot this rule. Ronan hit the wall, and this time the lights went out, but the door still remained closed. "Getting warmer…" John watched as Ronan suddenly pulled out another knife, "how many of those things have you got?"

"How many d'you need?" he said grinning.

John smiled lightly, remembering why he liked this guy being on his team and shook his head as he watched Ronan take careful aim.

------------

Rodney stood in Jace's lab, staring at the vials of liquids, "Okay, you can take them out, easy. Just a few well- placed karate chops and, and, and, and down they go. Piece of cake…." He muttered, reaching out for the cabinet door, he suddenly withdrew his hand, "are you an idiot!" he walked away then suddenly turned back again, he opened the door, "desperate times call for desperate measures…" he took out one of the vials of Wraith enzyme, pausing he looked at the larger bottle. Taking it instead he smiled, "that's one hell of a karate chop!"

He paused again, "John is totally going to kick my ass," he murmured.

--------------

John, Ronon, Teyla and Kanayo all stood by the door of the cell, looking at the four knifes sticking out of the control panel, Ronan reached into his hair and pulled out another small knife, "you must have a hell of a time going through airports," muttered John. He paused suddenly, he quickly looked around.

"What is wrong?" Teyla asked him.

"Nothing…I just…I thought I heard Rodney's voice," John quickly shook it off and nodded at Ronan who quickly took aim. John wanted to cheer when Ronan hit the target perfectly and the doors slid open.

John lookd back and realized that Aiden was injecting himself with the enzyme "What the hell are you doing?" John growled.

"What about the rest of us?" yelled Ronan.

"That's the last of it."

"You don't need it…" stated Kanayo.

"You don't know that," Ronan quickly returned with frustration.

"We're heading to the dart bay, stay together and stay quiet," John instructed as they all headed out the door.

----------------

Rodney was leaning on the bench, groaning as he finished injecting himself. The bottle was completely empty. Grunting, Rodney stood up, he quickly looked around to the door and grinned wildly, "lock and load." He headed out the door where the two guards were still engrossed in their game.

Rodney suddenly grabbed one of the men's shoulders and threw him across the room in rage, the other guard rose to his feet, only to have Rodney bunch him hard in the nose, sending the man back flying, Rodney grabbed a bottle from the table and crashed it over the man's head, watching him drop to the ground senselessly. "And that's what happens when you back a brilliant scientist into a corner!" He turned around only to get a fist right in his face. The other guard grabbed Rodney by the throat.

Rodney reacted instantly, smashing his hand down on the man's arm, then kicked him hard in the stomach, knocking the first man down to the floor unconscious. "Now focus!" Rodney said as his eyes grew wide in obvious hysteria. He quickly moved into Aiden's room, and opened a drawer, after a quick search of a couple different drawers he found the crystals, "Yes!"

Rodney ran as fast as he could to the gate, he looked down at the DHD, it only took him moments to fix the device before he started punching the symbols, "Big dose! Big, big dose…needed it….needed the crystals, needed to get out…." He hit the last symbol his gaze returning to the gate, "please work, please please work," he whimpered. He watched in desperation as the foot opened with it's normal sound, "okay going home!" he mumbled.

Elizabeth watched from the control room as the technician nearby looked at his computer, "unscheduled activation…It's Dr. McKay's IDC!" grinned the man.

"Lower the shield!" she cried as she quickly ran down the stairs. She was horrified by what met her. Rodney stepped through the gate looking like a complete mess, he was covered in sweat, walking fast, and he was jittery.

"I know what I need to do!" he cried as he tried to move towards the stairs.

"Rodney, what's happened?" she asked grabbing his arm, "Rod, where's everyone else?" she asked gently.

Two bloodshot blue eyes met hers, "no time…no time…the planet. Not Ford's….the u…uh…ship's headed towards, we need to get there….we…we don't have much time," he began to pace frantically again, gesturing and hyperventilating as he began to shake as well, "I was barely able to escape myself…managed to take…the guards out," he said smiling "you would have been proud…proud….John's gonna kick my ass… You should have seen me…I was amazing! I wish we'd got it on camera…that's not the point…"

"Rodney, slow down, are you all right?"

"Yes….yes…I mean, um…" he shrugged, and giggled, " dunno," he started to pace again, "I mean….I did take out the guards….they were big and dumb and huge…and stupid and and…."

"Rod, I need you to focus, what guards?" she asked grabbing him gently, he looked so terrible, so afraid.

"Ford's guards! Haven't I mentioned Ford yet?" he whimpered.

"No,. you didn't, you haven't really mentioned Sheppard, Teyla or Ronan either?"

"Did too…John's gonna kick my ass….kick it! I mean into oblivion…won't sit down for months…Lizzy," he smiled at her, "I took out the guards! All by myself, you'd be so proud….they were huge, massive, and I had to take 'em out…so I injected myself…with the enzyme," he said grinning.

Elizabeth felt tears prick in her eyes as she shook him, "you did what? Rodney, are you insane? You took some of the enzyme?" she was scared, she shouldn't have said it, instantly his face fell in almost contorted pain.

"no…no….no, I didn't take _some _of the enzyme…I took _lots_ of the enzyme…I had to Lizzy…. Because I had to take out the guards, you shoulda seen me! John is so gonna kick my ass…but…I didn't need anyone…I did it myself…my ass is dead… I was amazing!"

"Rodney!" she cried.

"Yes….yes….not I've taken the enzyme….insane," he giggled again as his face suddenly contorted in pain

"Rod, focus please, where is John?"

"No, no, no, I had to take the enzyme because, because I had to take out the guards! But that's not the point – the point is we don't have enough time. We need to stop the ship from getting to where the ship is going…"

She put an arm around his arm, turning him around again, "come on sweetie, let's go take a walk to the infirmary, okay?"

"Whoa! What are you doing? Where are you going? No…no…no…no…I don't wanna see Mr. voodoo…I wanna go to the uh…I wanna…" his heads rolled up into the back of his head and he dropped to the floor.

Two guards ran towards him, Elizabeth dropped to his side and gently touched his cheek, "Dr. Beckett, we've got an emergency! We're headed to you!" she said into her radio as the guards began to lift Rodney. "please be gentle with him," she whispered gently as she lifted his head.

"Dear God," whispered Carson as he looked at the body of his best friend, "what the hell happened?" Carson hurried over to his side as they set Rodney on a bed.

"He took a very large dose of the enzyme…aperently," Elizabeth replied.

"Oh Rodney," Carson whispered, "come back in an hour or so…" Carson quickly set to stabilizing his best friend as he tried not to think about the next several days ahead of them.

--------------

Colonel Caldwell and Elizabeth walked to the Infirmary an hour later, as Elizabeth had been told. Carson turned from Rodney's side, he sighed and headed over to Caldwell and Elizabeth, surprised to see the latter of the two. "Colonel, I didn't think you were due back for days…"

"Doctor Weir requested we join the search ASAP, so we pushed the engines a little."

"How is he?" Elizabeth asked eyeing the man she loved. He looked like he was dying, Elizabeth felt her heart shatter.

"I've sedated him; administered a beta blocker to bring his blood pressure down to a more manageable level. It's a wonder he didn't suffer a stroke."

Did he mention anything further about the location of Colonel Sheppard and his team?" Caldwell asked.

"Nothing coherent, I'm afraid. By the time he arrived here, he was hyperventilating, pulse extremely rapid. He could barely get out a word – although, being Rodney, he certainly tried," Carson whispered smiling ruefully.

Elizabeth offered a short smile, "how much did he take?"

"A very big dose, I'm afraid. I found a significant amount of it in his system – nearly as much as Lieutenant Ford."

"Alright – can you wean him off it?" Elizabeth asked hopefully

"I wish I could. Unfortunately, Lieutenant Ford took the last supply of our enzyme when he left Atlantis, so an incremental withdrawal is out of the question."

"Unless we harvest more enzyme." Offered Caldwell.

"Not an option. By the time you go out and collect it, the enzyme will have broken down in his system already. No, I'm afraid for Rodney the only choice is ..." Carson paused.

"... cold turkey." Caldwell replied gently.

"Aye, to put it bluntly. I can administer some drugs to help ease the process: anti-nausea medication, pain reliever, benzodiazepine for anxiety, as well as a multi-vitamin injection to bolster the immune system ..."

"Good."

"... but there's no dodging the fact it's gonna be difficult – possibly even deadly." Carson said almost sadly.

---------------

Carson felt like his world was falling apart, John was still missing, Rodney was dying, and Carson was helpless to change any of it. Rodney had only woken up an hour ago and was already torturing Carson's staff.

"Don't just stand there! Get me more enzyme!" cried Rodney frantically as he looked at the person who was supposed to be his best friend.

Carson sighed and looked sadly at his best friend, "Rod, I'm sorry I don't have any for ye…"

"It's in the cave….Ford's cave….he's got lots of it….please…" whimpered the man.

"Do ye know the address?"

"What? NO!" he cried.

"I'm sorry Rodney," whispered Carson.

"You don't have to scream at me! " growled Rodney hysterically.

Carson sighed, it felt like his world was dying, he rubbed his eyes wearily, "I'm not screaming…" Carson murmured.

"This is fun for you isn't it! Watching me like this!"

Carson's eyes practically bugged out of his head when he looked at his best friend, "I assure you this is far from fun lad, there is nothing more in this world that I could possible want then to help you…."

"What is this, payback? You're jealous, huh? Jealous of how vital I am to this mission – vital, vital – jealous of how I get to go off world and, and you get stuck in this stupid, pathetic excuse for a hospital."

"You know that's not true," Carson murmured as he tried not to cry in front of his best friend, it would instill much hope in Rodney to get better if he burst into tears.

"Jealous I get all the women and you don't!" came McKay's contempt voice.

"Excuse me!" Carson couldn't believe that had just come out of Rodney's mouth.

"Please, just give me a little enzyme – just enough to take the edge off. I'm dying here….Carson please," sobbed Rodney.

Carson leaned over and held Rodney's hand tightly, "I'm here Rodney, that's all I can give you, I'm sorry," whimpered Carson, he felt the tears beginning to slip down his strong cheek bones. "We don't have any enzyme…I'm sorry Rod."

"You think I don't know your lying!" screamed Rodney as he ripped his hand from Carson's grip.

"I'm not lying Rodney…"

"You are. You think I don't think you are but you are. And don't think I won't forget it ... " Rodney's voice trailed off looking confused and unsure what he had just said, his eyes began to fill up with tears again. "Please, just kill me," he whimpered.

"Rodney, listen to me, I know it hurts, I'm trying to understand lad, and I know you're hurting, but please believe me when I tell you you're not going to die. You just have to have a little faith in me," Carson whispered.

"Why! You're trying to stab me in the back! I hate you!" cried Rodney as he arched, closing his eyes to another wave of white hot pain.

His eyes closed he didn't see Carson shut his eyes to his own wave of pain, he rubbed his eyes again, "I'm sorry Rod," mumbled Carson as he slowly moved away from the man he called a best friend.

Elizabeth slipped into the infirmary quietly later that night, she didn't expect to see anyone around, however there sat Carson at his best friend's beside, "how is he?" she asked softly looking from Carson to Rodney's sleeping figure.

"Oh…sleeping, finally…it's been a very rough day for him," whispered Carson as he rubbed the tears from his eyes, but Elizabeth didn't miss them.

"And for you too," she said smiling softly.

"Aye…I imagine so, he hasn't told me anything about John or Teyla…any of them…all I heard today were words of hate and anger…God Elizabeth…he's like my wee brother, and honestly I'm not sure when I suddenly became so close to him. I've always respected him and trusted him from the moment I met him, but…" Carson shook his head with a soft shrug.

"You love him, we all do…the truth is Carson, that as much as Rodney drives every crazy…he's part of us, he keeps us going at our best. I know I've fallen for him," she whispered as she clutched the limp restrained hand.

"I want to protect him, but sitting here…listening to his words, I didn't realize you could feel your heart break in two."

"Oh, yeah you can, trust me, I'm sure Rodney's felt it a couple times…He didn't mean it Carson, what ever he told you, he didn't mean it. I can tell you that you are Rodney's go to man, you're the only person he can talk to about anything. He's always been the most comfortable around you. He loves you like a brother and a best friend. Your relationship is very deep like Jack O'Neill's and Daniel Jackson…all three of you are very close. Cherish it, he does," she whispered softly as she took Carson's hand in her's as well.

"I hate to say it, but his stubbornness is probably what's sustained him throughout the ordeal."

"Well, we won't tell him that, Carson, thank you," she pressed a kiss to his cheek, "for bringing him through this."

"Aye…I doubt he'll feel the same, but you're welcome." He mumbled.

"I'm sure he'll see the truth."

"Maybe… he'll be afraid of me and my infirmary even more now…"

"You should get some rest, you're exhausted."

"Aye…but I would like to stay with him a little longer…"

"I'll sit with him…go get a shower and some rest."

"Thank you lass." She watched Carson slip off for awhile, as she took up the seat he had vacated.

"What is it about you that...that makes us keeping coming back for more...I love you...I don't know when or if I'll ever get the guts to tell you that to your face...but my god, when I heard Lorne tell me they couldn't find you...when I had to announce MIA...I felt like I had lost part of my world. I felt like everything that meant anything to me had died. I felt so lost, and so sad," reaching out she pushed his matted hair away from his forehead, "you are an arrogant, incorrigable, ignorant man who is so over confident that it gets you in trouble...and for some reason I miss hearing your words of arrogance, of hearing you no doubt ideas. I miss you, you have to get through this, it's not over, not by a long shot, but as Carson said you're through the worst of this. It's another long road ahead of you, but I'm here," leaning down she pressed a kiss to his forehead.

-------------

Aiden lay on the floor, groaning as the pain ripped through his body, whimpering at how bad it hurt to be in withdraw, "Come on buddy, hang in there, you can't leave us yet," whispered John as he squeezed his friend's shoulder.

"Yes sir…I'm sorry sir…"

"No, none of that. The mission's not over, remember? We've still gotta figure a way to get out of here. You hear me? We've gotta get back home…."

"Yes, sir."

"Aiden. You can make it through this…"

"Tell my grandparents I love 'em…"

"Tell 'em yourself buddy."

-----------

Elizabeth sat at her desk quietly working, trying not to worry about John, Rodney or anyone else. She couldn't help it, she worried about all of them every time they walked through that gate, but now she worried about them coming back home. At least she had Rodney though. Speaking of which she heard footsteps, she grinned as she looked Rodney, he looked much better, although there were still bags under his eyes.

"Well look at you," she smiled softly, she got to her feet and moved around her desk.

"Ah, yes. Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, as the idiom goes," smiled Rodney softly.

"You gave us quite a scare," she whispered softly.

"Yeah…listen I'm sorry…" he looked at her for a moment, taking another step closer, not caring what anyone saw he drew her into a tight hug.

Elizabeth smiled as she eagerly returned the hug, rubbing his back. When he pulled back, he didn't pull away completely, "thank you…for listening to me, hearing me," he whispered.

"I'm glad you're all right," she whispered.

"Me too…" he replied.

--------------

"Alright. Up you go." Carson said gently as he helped Ronan and Teyla sit up, he smiled and nodded at both of them. Suddenly the door burst open and Rodney came hurrying in, followed by Caldwell.

"Why aren't you dead!" Rodney asked.

"Ah, it's good to see you too Rod," grinned John as he eyed his brother.

"No, no, I mean – well, you know what I mean. Why aren't you – dead?"

"Well, I knew when the hives started to shoot at each other, it was just a matter of time before they blew each other up, so I went to the space Gate and dialed an address where I could land safely. I didn't think the Dart could fit in our Gate room."

"The Colonel was kind enough to make us whole again, and we returned home." Grinned Teyla as she looked between Rodney and John.

"I'm curious, Sheppard – how did you know the Wraith would fight each other?" Caldwell asked.

"Uh, a little intel from Ford in the game, plus, uh, well, I kinda goosed things along with the Queen." Answered John.

"It would appear the Wraith are becoming more territorial than we had thought. There is definite tension building among them."

"Which is good for us," stated Ronan as he nodded.

"Certainly is. It also opens a brand new strategy in fighting them," Elizabeth smiled softly, glad that all her people had survived this, all of her friends.

"Hmm! And, and, where's Ford?" Rodney asked looking around.

"He was aboard the hive ship when it was destroyed," Teyla whispered.

"He was last _seen _aboard the hive ship," replied Sheppard confidently.

"What does that mean?" Rodney asked again.

"Well, you know Ford. I wouldn't be surprised if we run into him again."

"Aye, well somehow you're all bloody fit as fiddles…ye can get out of my infirmary now," grinned Carson softly.

"Yeah, well, I think we've still got some things to talk about…but they can wait," John said squeezing his brother's shoulder.

"That's our cue," grinned Teyla softly, she reached out and hugged Rodney close, "I am glad that you are all right," she whispered as she pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"I'm glad you're okay too," Rodney replied smiling.

Ronan looked at Rodney and grinned, "I'm not hugging or kissing you on the cheek…but we know what you did…thanks McKay, that took a lot of guts," Ronan said putting out his hand in an eath gesture.

McKay smiled and shook his handwith strength and a little pride. "Come on little brother, let's go get some dinner," John led his brother off.

"Rodney," John finally stopped when they were near a science lab, they ducked inside, making sure no one was there and then John smiled, "what you did, was stupid, foolhardy, idiotic and insane…you could have been killed…"

Rodney opened his mouth to protest, but John quickly held up his hand, "let me finish," taking a deep breath he gently placed both hands on his brother's shoulder, "and I'm very proud of you…" he smiled at his brother's bewilderment, "there's nothing stronger than the love of friends, and to know that you were willing to very well die just to save us…that means a lot to me Rodney. I'm very proud of you…you've changed here and for the better."

"I couldn't leave you there… I just had this feeling…"

"Some people call it twin speak, but we'd have to be twins for that, but you were right and I certainly felt something was wrong with you…come here," John pulled his brother close and held him tightly.

Rodney instantly returned the hug, "I owe Carson the biggest apology," whispered Rodney as he held his brother just as tightly.

"I love you Rod," grinned John, as he kept his arm around his brother's shoulder.

"Love you too Kirk," joked Rodney.

"Okay see, that wasn't my fault!" John faught as the two headed out of the room smiling.

------------

"Carson…" Rodney tapped against the door to his friend's office lightly.

Carson looked up from his laptops and carious computer screens and smiled sadly, "are you all right?"

"I'm fine…well, no actually I'm not, but I will be," Rodney answered truthfully.

"What can I do for you?" Carson questioned.

"I came to talk to you…I remember…far too much of the withdraw, and I just wanted to say…" he paused shrugged, "Carson, John is my brother and I love him, but he can't replace my best friend. You are the one person that I can always talk to…you're the only other person who's ever stood by my side through everything…Elizabeth is the only other person and even she hasn't stood through it all. You're my best friend, and I didn't mean to say such hateful things to you…" Rodney shrugged.

"I'm sorry I couldn't help you, I…I was sure you were going to die thinking I hated you…"

"Deep down I knew you were there because you cared…anyway I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry."

"Forgiven, you're a good man Rodney…far more than you give yourself credit for."

"Yeah, I suppose, but it's because you people like you all that I know that," Rodney grinned.

"Are you hungry?"

"I could eat," Rodney replied with a shrug.

Until the Next Time


	44. Out of Time

A/N: Only a wee bit of Rodneywumpage in this chapter folks, and a whole lotta Radek and the boys. The agrument scene has some lines that are from "Exhasperation" by BigRedCanuck, but what John stole is totally mine.

Chapter Forty-Four: Out of Time

Radek sighed as he made his way towards his friend's quarters, upon opening the door he looked at his friend sitting on the couch playing with his daughter, "I hope you enjoy day off," mumbled the scientist.

"You'll get over it," grinned Rodney.

"What did you want?"

"When we were working on the project four levels down…I think I may have accidently wandered upon another jumper bay…"

"Really?" Radek immediately sat down on the coffee table.

"Yeah…it's under water, it's very plausible that the jumpers could be used as underwater vessels…anyway, I want you to go down there and see what you can find out."

"Anything else?"

"Ah…no, just try to find out if this really is a port for jumpers…also try to find out if the room has to fill with water…and Radek, be careful."

"More careful than you?" Radek said grinning.

"Oh just shut up," mumbled Rodney.

"You wish me to report to you?"

"Uh…well no, not really just fill me in at some point, email me what you find…we'll see if we can't learn more about this sometime."

"Okay…I will take Brown and Donavan…"

"Brown is a botanist…"

"Perhaps, but she is smart…perhaps smarter than you."

"I resent that," griped Rodney.

"Good…" Zelenka grinned as he headed out of the room.

Rodney shook his head and looked back at his daughter, "I think Uncle Radek likes to make your daddy moody," mumbled the scientist.

"Dadda!" grinned the girl.

"You're going to actually speak a real sentence one day…right?"

"C'okie!"

-----------

"Did you not pay attention in School!" yelled Radek Zelenka to one of the scientists.

"I am doing what I was told!" the other scientist yelled.

Radek shouted several profanities in Czech before walking away and moving over to the next system, he was starting to sorely miss Rodney and his demanding arrogance. The man had been given one week off after the electrocution issue. He was supposedly spending it with his daughter.

Radek looked at one of the volumes of the pressure in the room and felt his heart start to pound, "we must get out now!" he yelled.

"Why?" another scientist asked.

That was another thing Radek loved about Rodney, he didn't ask questions and when he demanded something generally no one else did either. Radek began to open his mouth when suddenly an alarm over head started to sound, his eyes instantly went to the door which suddenly slid shut and hissed as the lock sealed.

He looked down at the ground around his feet to see water starting to pool around their ankles, "this is Zelenka! We need immediate assistance, we've got a water break down here!"

-------------------

"You thief!" Rodney yelled.

"I am not! I barrowed it…" John retorted.

"With no intention of giving it back! That classifies you as a thief!"

"I am not a thief!"

"Yes you are…I'm not talking to you anymore…"

"You just did…"

"Only so I could tell you I'm not talking to you…"

"But you just did…"

"What part of I'm not talking to you don't understand?"

"The part where you're _not _talking to me…but you _are_ talking to me…" John said raising an eyebrow.

"That's it we're not having this discussion."

"Of course we are…"

"You stole it right off my desk! I watched you…"

"Do you want me to get you another one?"

"No! I want mine back!"

"I could get you a new pretty pink one…"

"Mine was green! No…John…get out of my lab…"

"No…not until you take back calling me a thief."

"No…because you are!"

"All I did…" John began but was cut off.

"Doctor McKay…" the radio in their ears interrupted them both.

"WHAT!" they both growled staring at each other in contempt.

"We've got a water leak in the lower levels…we have three scientists stuck down there…and the water is rising rapidly…" the voice spoke.

"Who?"

"Donavan…Brown and Zelenka sir…"

"Shit, get me Beckett, and Weir, have them meet me down there…"

"Rod…" John began.

Suddenly Rodney turned on him, "when this is all over, I'd better see my highlighter where you found it!" With that the scientist stalked out of his lab, John quickly following.

--------------

"What happened?" Weir asked as she and Carson joined John and Rodney.

"I don't know…Atlantis has the ability to shut whatever part of the city it wants from everything else to keep from endangering the rest of Atlantis…"

"So…how do we get to them?" Carson asked.

"We either go in from the bottom or the from the top up…" began another scientist who had just joined.

"No, we go in from the top you moron, didn't you ever study in high school, if you go in from the bottom up you'll just let more water in, if we go in from the top, we can pull everyone and try to figure out how to seal off the leak…"

"You could risk drowning yourself…" began Kavanagh who had also just come.

"You're still here?" Rodney mumbled.

"I'm just trying…"

"Look, no one is asking you to try anything, Carson…we'll need something to keep the three scientists warm…this water is freezing, John I need an oxygen tank…and a swim suit if the military has one…"

"You're not actually going to go in there…" Elizabeth began.

"Listen to me, if we don't stop the water from filling that room, it'll fill into the next room, and I'm not willing to lose another lab…"

"We'll get to work on the hole McKay," John said.

"Good, and John, be careful not to hurt any of them, let them know what you're doing and that we're going to get them out…"

"Will do Rod…"

"Why did this happen?" Elizabeth asked as Rodney moved over to the room and placed his hand against the quickly chilling door.

"There are multiple reasons, It was an extra jumper bay…we've got reason to believe the jumpers can be underwater transporters too…Radek was down here with two of our people looking into it…the entire thing is under water…there's supposed to a door on the bottom that's latched at all times and can only be opened by a jumper. There are no jumpers in there…and unlike the opening in the actual jumper bay, these doors are only the size of the jumpers."

"So you're saying the door opened?"

"No…I doubt it…it's far more plausible that somehow the seal around that door that usually keeps the room from flooding was broken by one of Radek's people, and it started leaking like a sieve. If the pressure build up got bad enough, it's also possible the room started flooding from other areas."

"Then why wouldn't this entire part Atlantis be flooded?"

"Because frankly the Ancients were smarter than us…they created water seals on all their doors below the sea level. The city can shut out any part of the city if need be…we should hopefully be able to drain the water out…somehow and get the room back to functioning order in due time."

"How do you plan to get it out?"

"It's possible that the room naturally fills with water when releasing a jumper…which if this is true then theoretically there should be some type of water pump to pump out the water."

"So what, you're going to go swimming in freezing water to find it?"

"No…I'm going to have Zelenka detect it, then I'll try to get to it…Elizabeth it's important."

"All right…lets get started, these guys don't have much time."

"Right."

"Radek, how ya doin' buddy?" John asked over his radio.

"C…cold," came the scientist's reply.

"Radek…did you see anything that could have been a water pump?"

"No…but I wasn't exactly looking for one…"

"I need you to locate it for me…"

"Ro…rodney…"

"I know Radek…and I realize it's cold, but if you can locate it…I might be able to help you at least slow down or stop the water…do you understand?"

"Y…yes…"

"Hang in there Radek…we're almost through the ceiling…as soon as we're through we're going to get you out."

"How long?"

"How long what Radek?" Carson asked.

"Ho…w…long…can….we…?"

"Radek…It's only been an hour or so, you're doing fine, okay we're gonna get you guys out of there," Rodney called, wishing he believed the words coming out of his mouth

"He…heart….stops…."

"Radek, listen to me son, don't think about how cold it is, all right, think about keepin' your head about the water…" Rodney called gently.

"How high is it Radek?" Carson asked.

"Chest…" came another scientist's voice.

"Can't you go any faster?" Rodney yelled towards Major Lorne who was trying to blow torch his way through the floor above the room.

Lorne stopped and looked up at the scientist, "Look McKay I'm doing my best here, so let me do my job, then we'll toss you in there…and let you do yours."

"Cool it you two," John said when he saw his brother scowl.

"R…Rodney…we ma…y have a water pump," came Radek's slurred words.

"Where?"

"On…the…floor…nnnear….door."

"All right buddy, just keep your head above the water and we'll do the rest."

"We're almost through sir," came Lorne's voice suddenly.

"Rodney…you're going to be jumping into freezing water," Carson began.

"I know…so try not to remind me," Rodney replied looking at his friend.

"We'll be waiting." Elizabeth continued.

"Yep…it'll be have to quick, the water slows your muscles down quicker than you can imagine."

"We're through!" Lorne yelled.

"Let's go, Zelenka, we're coming buddy!"

They pushed the large circle they had just created open down, reveal a large room almost full of water, and three very scared and cold people, "Come this way guys," Rodney called as he and John leaned over the sides and held out their hands.

Katie moved to them the fastest, Rodney and John reached out gently and grasped her under the arms, lifting her out of the frigid water. Once she was up Carson immediately came over and wrapped her up in a thermal blanket, "let's get her to the infirmary," he called to his first group of medics.

"Radek," Rodney called, the water was dark, and the lighting was pretty bad in the room, Rodney tried not to worry what would happen once he got in the water.

"Donavan, come on," John quickly reached into the room and gripped Donavan and hauled him out of the water.

"Radek, come on," Rodney called out. "That's it, I'm going in," with a large breath Rodney dove into the water before anyone had time to stop him.

The water was beyond frigid, he could vaguely remember falling into freezing water as a young boy when he was ice skating, the water instantly slowed all his muscles down, fogged his brain and incapacitated his thoughts to the point of almost drunkenness.

Rodney quickly resurfaced and looked at his brother, "you okay?" John asked.

"Oh yeah…you know…just cold," he mumbled, it felt like a million icicles or splinters were jabbing into his skin. He took a gulping breath and dove under water.

Rodney was trying desperately not to think about what would happen if Zelenka was hurt, or dead. He knew full well the scientist wasn't the best swimmer, they had joked about it frequently. John had taught Rodney shortly after arriving in his family. The water was dark, everything looked fuzzy under the dark blue rising water. He kicked off in hopes to find the water pump for starters. It didn't take long, but like they had said, it was at the bottom of the room, and by the time Rodney had gotten to it, he was finding himself nearly out of air.

John watched as his brother the surface a second time, shaking out his hair. "I found the pump…no Radek…"

"Keep looking," John whispered.

Rodney nodded, with another breath he dove into the water again. This time he didn't bother going to the pump, he hurried to look for Radek, hoping the man would be all right. He paused, trying to calm himself and took a moment to really look around the large room. Finally he spotted Radek, the man was floating, as if dead in the water. Eyes wide, Rodney swam over to him as quickly as he could, he grabbed the man by the shirt and rapidly made his way towards the top. Without hesitation he hoisted Radek above the water, in all hopes his brother would be there to grab the scientist.

"Rodney get out of there!" Carson demanded as John pulled the unresponsive Radek out of the water and began CPR.

"I've gotta flush out the room…I'll be fine," Rodney lied, his moves were already growing sluggish, he lung capacity was decreasing and he was becoming exhausted. With another gust of air he dove to the bottom for the pump.

"Give him a ten count, then you're going in after him," Elizabeth said looking at John.

"I've got a pulse!" called Carson as he wrapped Radek up in a blanket.

Two solemn blue eyes opened weakly, "your safe lad, we're moving you to the infirmary now," Carson whispered.

"Rod…?"

"He'll be fine," Carson patted his friend's shoulders and watched them wheel him away.

Rodney grabbed the pumps manual lever and began to pull frantically, in hopes he could trigger the release. Gritting his teeth with a grunt of precious air he continued to pull.

Elizabeth sighed as she paced the length of the floor in the lab above the water filled bay. She watched everyone else kneel around the large hole in the ground, as if waiting for Rodney to pop up and be fine.

"I'm going in," John finally said as he quickly stripped off his jacket, shirt gun and shoes.

"You can't!" Elizabeth bit, worried about both men.

"I have to...he's in trouble, I can sense it..."

"John…" Carson began.

"Don't worry, I'll be careful," John said then without another thought he jumped into the water, unable to keep from gasping at how cold the water was, "it's still rising."

John found Rodney at the bottom, still fighting with the manual pump, Rodney was surprised when the felt hands wrap around his and a large yank on the lever. They were both stunned when they heard a whoosh. Looking around they watched as the water started decreasing. Rodney opened his mouth to say something, or make a face, and began to panic. John grasped his brother around the chest, tightly like he had on their first swimming experience and quickly kicked his way to the surface. John and Rodney broke the slowly decreasing surface seconds later. Instantly Ronan, Lorne and Carson were dragging the brothers out of the water.

-------------------

Radek and Rodney lay in cots right beside each other, both sitting up, looking a little more comfortable and much warmer than a few hours ago. Radek had barely scrapped by without hypothermia, and the other two had mild cases. Rodney had been lucky, however, he would never forget the feeling of his lungs starting to burn as he ran out of air, and the panic he felt when he realized he couldn't breath in real air.

John sat on the end of Rodney's bed, Elizabeth on the end of Zelenka's, Carson, Teyla and Ronan filling in around the two beds, "so what happened?" Elizabeth asked.

"As far as I could tell it was a malfunction in the system itself…Donavan triggered it when he was messing around with the pressure system in the room…I fear it will never be the same," Radek spoke.

"We'll dry it out…even if we have to use hair dryers," John said smiling.

"Are you offering yours?" Rodney asked grinning.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," lied John.

"Well, another minor disaster averted…and yet here you are again in my infirmary," grinned Carson.

"Har, har, har," mumbled Rodney.

"So how long are you keeping us Carson?" Radek asked.

"Tomorrow afternoon I may let you go."

"How long until I'm back on active duty?"

"Monday next week lad, don't stress," mumbled Carson.

"We really need to stop these catastrophes…couldn't we just have…you know a normal day here?" John asked.

"It wouldn't be nearly as much fun," Ronan added smiling at his friends.

"Maybe…but it would certainly keep me from spending more time in this room than in my own room," chuckled John.

"Aye…" Carson agreed.

"Okay, well that's enough lets let the boys sleep, they could certainly use it," Elizabeth said smiling.

"Gee thanks," mumbled Rodney crossing his arms over his chest.

She smiled and gently squeezed Radek's arm, followed by Rodney, "we'll come back tomorrow," she grinned.

"Night guys," John called chuckling as they headed out.

The two friends were silent for a moment, "Thank you," whispered Radek.

"For what?" Rodney mumbled.

"Saving me…"

"Well you've saved my life a couple times…Radek…for every moment I don't tell you how worthy you are of being the top scientist here on Atlantis, that's how often I think it. Certainly after I screwed up the whole solar system…"

"Thank you Rodney," Radek said smiling, "that means a lot."

"You're a good friend Radek, a better scientist and a fine man…don't let that get to your head," with that Rodney turned on his side and quickly drifted to sleep.

Radek watched his friend for a moment and smiled, Rodney was not often a man to give compliments, but like man, when he did give them, it meant a great deal. Smiling and looking over at his friend, Radek turned on his side as well and allowed his mind to drift itself to sleep as well.

Until Next Time


	45. Into Epiphany

Author's Note: Slowing down in the writing, but not to worry I have a lot of the summer chapters written so you'll be happy to know that you'll be getting plenty of chapters this summer!

Chapter Forty-Five: Epiphany

"Why do you have to park so far away," gripped Rodney as they made their way towards a large cave.

"The ridge was a little further away than it looked, besides you can use the exercise…or so Carson keeps telling me," joked John.

"Oh bite me…we're almost there," mumbled Rodney.

John grinned as he threw a punch at his brother's shoulder, he looked over at Teyla who eyed him playfully, "Rodney do you even know what it is we are looking for?"

"Yeah…well whatever it is, it's around here somewhere…"

"What's around here?" Ronan asked looking at the scientist with a questionable glance.

"Whatever it was that was cuasing the energy spike we detected from the puddle jumper," Rodney replied like it was the most normal thing in the world.

"Do you have any idea what…it looks like?"

"I'll know it when I see it…" he looked towards his left and smiled, "I see it," he grinned.

"Looks like a door." Muttered Ronan as they pulled back some vines reveal more rocks.

"Yes, it is remarkably door like," Rodney replied sarcastically as he rolled his eyes and turned away.

"Well, looks like the only way through the ridge anyway. It runs for miles. Alright, let's check it out."

"Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa. There's something there."

"What?" Sheppard muttered glaring at his brother.

"Some kind of an energy barrier around the threshold."

Sighing, John quickly looked around then found a large pebble, he tossed it towards the door way, they watched as a blue light seemed to glow around it, then suddenly disappeared.

"It disappeared," Teyla murmured.

"Or it went through some type of cloak…" Sheppard concluded.

"It has some of the same properties as a cloaking field," Rodney continued as he looked at his device.

"Yeah, and the Ancients did tend to hide all the really cool stuff," John said as though he were a big kid in a candy shop.

"Yeah – I would just like to be able to explain these readings better before we step through. Get me a branch," Rodney said pointing to Ronan, "You got tape? Because…I got a camera!" He pulled it out of his jacket only to see Ronan coming with a rather….large branch, "I didn't ask for a log," Rodney griped at Ronan who shrugged and walked away with the branch, "Teyla, thank you," Rodney replied loudly as he took her branch.

"You just took it because she's prettier than me," mumbled Ronan playfully.

"Ronan, everyone is prettier than you," Teyla returned smiling.

"Now, now children," came John's quick response as he smiled at his friends and shook his head.

The four teammates quickly worked, taping the camera to the front of the branch, "It's a MALP on a stick! You're a regular MacGyver Rod," grinned John.

"Oh please, MacGyver wasn't nearly as smart as me…" mumbled Rodney.

"He certainly got in as much trouble as you do," John shot in return.

"I seem to recall him having a friend that got him in just as much trouble…"

"Gentlemen…please," smiled Teyla. "I am not fluent in Ancient but I do recognise a few words: "welcome" and "ascension"," she whispered as she looked at the doorway behind them, meanwhile Rodney and John fed the camera through the doorway.

"You mean…what happened to you?" Ronan murmured.

"Yeah…sorta," explained Rodney.

"Uh…that doesn't sound like much fun…."

"Yeah, well, sadly it's a matter of, uh, evolution. Anyway … I'm sure we've got more than enough now." He pulled the camera back from the door way, "There we go. And … have a look, shall we? Okay, looks safe, any volunteers?"

"I'll go," Sheppard offered.

"Just, um, back out if you encounter anything problematic…"

"Problematic? As in?"

"You know, like poisonous atmosphere, acid atmosphere, _no_ atmosphere. Hey, it's a MALP on a stick; only shows you so much." He said grinning nervously.

"Okay…here goes," mumbled John as he stepped towards the force field. It began to blue as he felt his hands sucked in, "this is a little weird…it hurts…" hissed John suddenly as he tried to pull his hands out.

"Okay, so get outta there…" Rodney replied

"I'm trying….but it's pulling me in!"

"I got you," Ronan said easily as he tried to pull John out, Teyla quickly joined the group and grabbed John's vest.

"Guys!" he cried.

"We're tryin'," yelled Ronan.

"Well try harder!"

"No-no-no, we proved this – it shouldn't be happening!" Rodney panicked.

"Rodney!" cried John

"It's too strong!" Teyla called.

They watched at he was sucked into the force field, "Don't touch the barrier!" Rodney cried out before they could get sucked in as well.

"Why did you tell us to let him go?" hissed Ronan.

"Because you weren't gonna stop and the last thing we need is both of you to get pulled in with him…" Rodney growled.

"Why would the Ancestors create something that would do this?" Teyla questioned.

"I don't know," he whispered as he looked over his information.

"Figure it out or you're going in after him!" growled Ronan

"Ronan…" came Teyla's soft warning.

"Okay…That's not helping! News flash Ronan, I don't know if you've realized this yet but he's my brother! And while you may be overprotective of your friends, I guarantee I feel worse about this right now! We'll save him! Now, obviously the portal reacts differently to living matter than it does to inanimate objects. It might even be specific to humans."

"Colonel Sheppard, this is Teyla. Please respond," Teyla called through her radio. She preferred not to get involved in Ronan and Rodney's arguments. While Ronan was vastly over protective of Teyla and John, she was fairly sure he hadn't quite grown on their wayward scientist yet, and that concerned her, it was something she desired mentioning to Colonel Sheppard…when they got him out.

"You're wasting your time and it's not gonna work." Mumbled Rodney

"Colonel, if you can hear me, please respond," Teyla chose to ignore him, she loved Rodney like a brother, and while he could be a wise man, he was also sometimes the biggest pain in the ass.

"There's absolutely nothing on this tape that could possibly indicate any kind of …Oh, no!" he murmured.

"What?" Ronan asked.

"The memory's full. It's recorded almost two hours and … and the battery just died! Dammit!" hissed Rodney.

"Why are you wasting time?" growled Ronan suddenly.

"That is the one thing I am _not_ doing. Okay, look, I need something living, like a, like a flower, or a blossom. Okay, now observe…" he spotted a small cluster of flowers off to one side and quickly pulled them down, then slowly emerged them through the barrier "I'm trying to test a theory. Work with me here, people. Look, if I'm right, we need to hurry.

"What are you doin', McKay?"

"I am trying to determine how much faster time is passing on the other side of the portal than it is here."

"Why would time progress faster?" Teyla spoke up this time.

"It doesn't make any sense," Ronan added.

"That is what I am trying to prove. Now, just wait…" he sighed deeply, "one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine …

"McKay …" Ronan spoke

"… ten, bear with me, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, and twenty." He finally pulled the branch out of the field, revealing they were all brown dried out and almost dead, Rodney felt his heart thud harder in his chest, "a whole…lot faster," he whispered searching between Ronan and Teyla.

"The blossoms have aged several hours at least." Whispered Teyla sadly.

"We might be able to pick him up in the Jumper but I need to get back to Atlantis." Rodney began to stand and walk away.

"You're not goin' anywhere!" hissed Ronan as he suddenly grabbed Rodney and spun him around.

"It's a time dilation field! Which means time is passing _much_ faster on the other side of the portal than it is here for us! I'm not sure the exact ratio but I need to go now," his face suddenly became desprate, praying Ronan would understand.

"Why?"

"I don't have time to explain temporal compression theory to you when every moment we stand here debating this, literally hours could be going by for Colonel Sheppard relative to us. Look, hours equate to days, and days for us could mean years for him. Do you get it now? Teyla – I need you to follow me back as far as the Puddle jumper and I'll explain what I need you to do on the way." Suddenly Rodney paused and looked at Ronan, "and you, stay here."

"And do what?" Ronan asked knowing what he wanted to do.

"Don't go through, if that's what you're thinking. Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa. Give me the knapsack. Now empty your pockets of everything he might need to survive. We might just buy him a little more time there."

"Go!" Ronan said as they finished filling it.

Quickly closing the knapsack closed he tossed it through the barrier and smiled, "good, hopefully that'll last him…"

-------------

"Alright – emergency rations, medical kit. Anything else?" Rodney called from inside the jumper.

"Extra batteries for the camcorder…" she replied as she rummaged on the other side in the back of the jumper.

"Right, you know what to do?"

"Press record, extend and hold for three seconds…" she replied gently.

"No more, no less."

"And then pull it out again."

"Right, if he's still there that should give him plenty of time to record a detailed message. Damn! Why didn't I send a note through…"

"What do you mean if he is still there…"

"Look, depending on the compression ratio inside the field, there's a very good chance he may have used up the supplies we've sent through by the time you get back. I know it's hard to get your head around but what it means is we have to …" explained Rodney.

"It means we must hurry…" she replied, "Rodney, he will be all right…" she said simply.

"Right. Go-go-go-go-go-go-go."

-------------

"What, you have no idea whether he's injured?" Carson grumbled as they quickly packed items to return to the planet.

"The excruciating pain he was experiencing was a result of the temporal differential…"

"And that is?"

"Okay, the portal must somehow dampen the extreme tidal forces that would normally occur in the even horizon of a time dilation field, and we were keeping him from safely…passing through it."

"So part of his body is experiencing time at a different pace than the other? Who knows what that could do to him…."

"I have no idea, but he could probably use a doctor," mumbled Rodney.

"Do you know if he's even alive?"

"The most time-efficient approach was to assume that he was alive but stranded."

"And why not assume that he'll make his own way back through the portal?"

"Because Colonel Sheppard would have already had hours to try to make it back through the portal in the time I wasted explaining the situation to Conan and Xena!" muttered Rodney.

"Now, Rodney, that's not very …" Carson was cut off as Rodney shrugged suddenly.

"No, I suppose it isn't, this is McKay. Are the supplies loaded aboard yet?"

"Almost there, sir. Just a few more cases," came the reply.

"Alright. When you're done with that, make sure you assist Zelenka in securing the descent probe into the launch compartment. Let's move!" he said tossing a bag to Carson then leaving, followed by Elizabeth and Carson. "We've loaded weeks of supplies and everything I could think of," called Rodney as they entered the jumper bay.

"What are we not thinking of?" Carson asked.

"Now take a minute and please be certain. If your theory is correct we can't afford any more trips…"

"I'm painfully aware of that," muttered Rodney.

Elizabeth sighed and faced him, she gently squeezed his shoulder, "Rushing is what got him in trouble in the first place, we can't afford to rush on this…"

"This was not his fault…" whispered Rodney, the next words out of his mouth stunned everyone, "it was mine. I should have looked more closely at the video. The clues were there before he even stepped through. Look all I can do now is hope to fix this in his life time," whispered Rodney.

Carson was surprised, Rodney's words were a true testament at how much the scientist had changed in the past several months, "His lifetime?"

"If it takes us a week to ten days to fix this, then it won't matter, because he will probably have died of old age."

"Oh my God."

:"Yeah…hench the rushing. Now are you ready? Because you don't look ready…"

"I'm ready," replied Carson.

"I need to pick up some books to help with the translations…" Elizabeth complied.

"Well, we'll pick em up on the way, and I hope you've got us a real Jumper pilot because I don't trust him," Rodney quickly said pointing to his best friend, "and I can't fly the damned thing in a straight line." He hissed.

------------

"There it is," Elizabeth called.

"Well, according to these readings, it's not there," replied Rodney.

"Rodney, I can see it with my own eyes – it's right inside that crater," Carson stated.

"It's hard to say whether the Ancients actually built it inside the crater or whether the rim formed as a result of the time dilation field."

"The Jumper sensors aren't picking up anything?"

"Nothing, ma'am," replied the pilot.

"Alright. Position us directly above it and stand by. Prepare to launch the probe on my mark."

"What is this probe of yours supposed to do?" Elizabeth inquired.

"Well, it's supposed to descend slowly into the atmosphere of a gas giant. The chute opens, the probe separates into two components joined by a tether hundreds of meters long."

"So we should be able to receive telemetry from inside the time dilation field while the other half of the probe is still outside," added Elizabeth.

"Right. And depending on the variance, we might be able to fly right into the field and rescue Sheppard."

"Very clever, Rodney!" grinned Carson.

"Uh, yes, it is. It was actually Zelenka's idea," mumbled Rodney uncomfortably.

------------

Teyla, Ronan, McKay, Elizabeth, and Carson stood in the cave as Teyla quickly explained the findings on the tape, "You're sure it was three seconds?"

"Yes," Teyla replied.

"And there's twelve minutes of video?"

"Yes," she replied again.

"All right, so it's a ratio of about…"

"Two hundred and fifty to one…I sent my watch through," she replied smiling as she held up the branch with her watch taped to it, "I also sent a letter to Colonel Sheppard telling him we are doing our best to rescue him. If you would like to check again…"

"No, Thank you Teyla…you're a genius," grinned Rodney as he smiled at her.

Teyla seemingly beamed at this and nodded thanks. Carson suddenly spoke up, "in terms of the Colonel how many days are we talking here?"

"We're already talking months," answered Rodney.

"OK, I think I've got it. I am interpreting a bit, but it seems the field was designed as a sanctuary from the Wraith, but a place the last of the Ancients could travel to and hopefully ascend without fear of attack," Elizabeth called a few minutes later, having missed most of the conversation between Teyla and Rodney.

"Oh, of course. They could potentially spend entire lifetimes inside the field before the Wraith even discovered the place," Rodney offered.

"And if they ever attacked, their ships would get torn apart just as the probe did," Carson pointed out.

"And so it has remained for ten thousand years," Teyla whispered.

"This writing here – this serves as a sort of welcome, as well as a warning for any of the humans under their protection looking for sanctuary; but I think it was left there for anyone who wanted to seek the path to ascension on their own," Elizabeth read.

"And what's the warning?" Ronan asked in worry.

"That once you cross the threshold, there's no return." She said softly.

"That is, unless you have the exact location of the power source and the expertise to turn it off." Grinned Rodney, "Hey, we may even get a ZedPM out of this."

"Now you're talkin'." Grinned Ronan.

"Lieutenant, this is Weir. If you haven't heard from us in … Rodney?" she paused from talking into her radio to look at her closest friend.

"Well, an hour would give us months in there, but, Elizabeth, of all the people who should stay, it would be you."

No one noticed Carson slowly raising his hand, "There may be writing by the power source that needs translating," Elizabeth continued calmly, she wasn't letting Rodney off on this adventure without her.

"Okay, there is a slight chance that when we go through…"

"Rodney, I'm going, Lieutenant, one hour then head back to Atlantis and see if Zelenka can think of anything," she spoke into her radio.

Carson still stood again the rock with his hand raised, then huffed, nervously lowering his hand, "well he may need medical treatment and I'm the only doctor here…so I should probably just…"

"Carson it probably won't hurt so much if you go quickly," replied Rodney.

Elizabeth had to hide her smile at how the roles had suddenly reversed when John wasn't around. Rodney took over John's place of being in charge, and generally if Carson was involved: which he usually was, Carson took poor Rodney's place of being nervous and tending to be a little more cowardly about things. "Alright – let's do this."

Taking a deep breath Rodney stepped through the barrier, he looked around quickly then took a seat and began to get set up and study his device. Five or ten minutes later Elizabeth walked through the shield.

"That wasn't so…bad," she whispered.

"Have a seat…the others' we'll be at least five minutes," replied Rodney as he patted a spot on the ground by his side.

She chuckled softly as sat down next to him, looking half over his shoulder and half around the cave.

"How ya doin?" she asked softly.

"I sent him in here Liz…" he shrugged.

"Maybe, but that doesn't mean it's your fault…he agreed to it."

"I know…" he shrugged again, "we're always in these life and death situations…we're going to be old a gray long before the average."

"At least you haven't seen what you're going to look like old," she grinned.

"Yes well…I suppose…speaking of getting older, your birthday is coming up isn't it?" he asked grinning.

"Maybe…"

"I have connections Elizabeth," grinned Rodney.

"This is not what we should be discussing…." She muttered softly.

"No, maybe not…but John's waited this long…he can wait a little longer."

"Know big plans for my birthday, okay Rodney…besides I know for a fact yours isn't all that far off either…"

"You play dirty…" he mumbled as he continued to look at his device.

----------

"What _is_ it with you and ascended women!" Rodney said staring at his brother.

John shrugged and smiled as he looked at the others surrounding him, "took you guys long enough."

"The beard is…interesting," joked Elizabeth.

"First thing to go when we get home," grinned John. "Never thought I'd see any of you again…Kinda even missed you…well except you Rod."

"I'm touched," mumbled Rodney

"Yeah well, it was only a couple hours for us…so…"

"Ronan," came Teyla's soft warning, "we were quite worried," she said smiling at him gently.

John smiled at her as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder. He couldn't believe how much he had missed her. That was one thing he had discovered in the past several months. Teyla was something special to him. He reached out and pressed a kiss to the top of Teyla's head, "let's go home," he grinned.

Until Next Time


	46. Home Again

Chapter Forty-Six: Coming Home

Rodney gripped the controls gently, as John coached him at his side, as they flew over the lush green trees through the beautiful blue sky. "You're doing good Rod," John said grinning.

"Is this world inhabited?" Ronan asked calmly from the seat behind John.

Teyla looked over at him with her dark eyes and nodded, "it was five years ago…I would assume it still is…"

"Okay Rodney, there's a clear spot about fifty yards in front of us, bring her down gently," John began.

Rodney focused his mind, as he tired his best to bring the puddle jumper down at a level decline.

"Steady, almost there, even her out, let the puddle jumper read your thoughts…" John whispered.

Rodney closed his eyes for a minute, he knew his three teammates and friends were watching him, he had only piloted the jumpers a few times, and usually not without John or Teyla by his side. He brought it down with a slight jolt, but nothing big to worry about.

"Good job Rod," grinned John as he clapped his brother on the shoulder, "now open the rear hatch, lets gear up and head out," John said smiling.

It took them moments to gear up, finally they headed out, John let out a small gust of air, "are you guys hot?" he asked as he stripped off his jacket and left it in the puddle jumper.

"I'm fine," Ronan replied.

"Right…we'll let's go…remember where we parked," John said as he hit the cloaking button and watched his jumper disappear.

Rodney watched his brother closely, never saying anything. It was obvious John was suddenly having a hard time. He looked in front of them as they continued to trudge, the grass was high near their ankles, making it that much harder to walk through it. The sky was clear and light blue, no clouds to be seen, the sun overhead was warm, but not blistering hot. Rodney couldn't complain, the climate was normal, what concerned him was that his brother seemed to be sweating brick suddenly.

"John..." Rodney began.

"I'm fine Rod…" John finished for his brother.

"Are you sure…" whispered Teyla questioned gently.

"I said…I'm fine," he murmured in reply.

They continued their walk until they finally made it to the outskirts of what looked like a town. It looked completely deserted, it was the was the epitome of a ghost town. "Do I really wanna know why this place looks so…"

"Decapitated?" John offered the word to his brother.

"Yeah…" replied Rodney.

"Okay…lets search the place, but be careful about it, Rodney you take the those two buildings over there, make it quick though and if you have any trouble whatsoever call us, Ronan you take those tow buildings over to the left by Rodney's, Teyla you take these three to our right and I'll take the two in the center. Let's make quick guys, we'll have to be careful."

"Will do," the three team members replied as they headed off to their buildings to check.

John wiped the sweat from his forehead, groaning at how hot he was, he groaned, his stomach rolling. His head was beginning to pound. He stepped into the first building and gasped at the sight of what he found. In front of him all over the floor lay bodies.

"Uh…guys…"

"I just found them too…" came Ronan's voice.

"As have I," replied Teyla.

"Oh my…" came Rodney's voice.

"Rod…you okay?" questioned John softly.

"I…ah…..think….I'm…"

John grimaced when he heard his brother remove the head phone, and heard his brother vomiting. John looked back down at the bodies, they were disgusting looking, they looked like they had been mummified while alive. It was like something from that mummy movie.

"Teyla…go…help…" he felt his world begin to spin, "help…help….get Rodney…." John tried to grab onto the nearest wall, as he tried to stay on his feet. He groaned in pain as he felt another stab of white hot pain shoot through his temple.

Rodney was hunched over by the other building across the way, Teyla gently rubbed his back, he stopped finally and took a deep breath, "I'm sorry," he whispered, "wow it's been awhile since that's happened."

"Come Rodney," she whispered gently placing a hand on his arm and helping him to his feet. Ronan appeared by their sides suddenly, offering canteen to his friend and teammate.

"Thanks…" Rodney whispered as he took a swig, then spit it out to rinse out his mouth.

"I think…we should get back to At…lantis…" whispered John as he made his way out the door, he had paled three shades, and was sweating heavily.

"I agree," Teyla said quickly, "Ronan help the Colonel."

---------------------

They made their way back to the gate, albeit they took their time, John collapsed in the pilot's chair with a sigh of exhaustion, while Rodney followed closely in the chair beside him. He rapidly dialed the gate, "Atlantis this is McKay…"

"We hear you Rodney…" Elizabeth returned.

"This planet is uninhabited…there's a very good possibility that there was some sort of plague…we're on our way home…"

"Wait…we can't lower the shield Rodney…"

"What? Why?" John asked suddenly concerned.

"I don't know…it's like the computer isn't recognizing your codes…" answered a technician.

"Perhaps it…senses the plague…" Teyla suggested.

"You've all been exposed, Rodney, is it possible this is similar to the virus last year that almost killed you? That maybe Atlantis senses you have been exposed and is trying to protect Atlantis?"

"Yes…it's very possible…listen to me Elizabeth…John, he got sick as soon as he hit the atmosphere…send Beckett and his team, but make sure they're in their suits…"

"What about getting you all back to Atlantis?" Elizabeth asked, not liking the idea.

"Essentially if Carson comes in a jumper with a group of his people as well as a couple others he can come and go as long as they aren't exposed directly to whatever caused this lock down…Once we figure out how to…protect ourselves than we should be able to come home."

"All right…Rodney, are you all okay?"

"No," Rodney looked over at his brother, "we're not…"

"Do your best Rodney," Elizabeth whispered.

-------------------

Teyla and Rodney had maneuvered John onto the seats in the back of the jumper, trying to get him comfortable, Rodney had gotten his brother down to his pants and t-shirt, removing his guns and weapons. They had Teyla's jacket pillowing his head as he lay there weakly looking up at them.

"Where's Ronan?" John was rapidly starting to feel worse, he felt a cool cloth against his head and looked up into the concerned bleu eyes of his baby brother.

"Outside, keeping watch and waiting for the others. How ya feelin'?"

"Terrible…are you guys all right?"

"We are all well John, try and get some rest."

"What's happening to me Rodney?" John asked as Teyla moved around on the other side of the jumper.

Rodney sighed as he gently ran his hand through his brother's sweaty, thick brown hair and shrugged, "wish I knew John, I'm working on it okay…tell me what hurts so if you're out when our good friend gets here I can let him know."

"Headache…chills, I'm really cold…stomach…chest hurts too…"

"All right, tell me if you need anything."

"Rod…be careful…we don't know if this plague…thing just likes me or if it's going to come after you."

"Ill be good I promise," Rodney said smiling as he squeezed his brother's hand.

"Reminds…me when ya…got Mono," John grinned.

Rodney chuckled softly and nodded, "I was sicker than a dog for a month."

"Didn't bring the chess board with you…did you?"

"Ah…on, not this time. Get some sleep John, I'll be here when you wake up. Maybe we'll be on Atlantis by then."

"Being…bit optimistic aren't you?"

"I thought you liked it when I was optimistic?"

"I do…I hate it when you lie."

"Sleep," Rodney whispered as he pulled the blanket tighter around his brother.

"Usually it's me takin' care of you," mumbled John as his breathing evened out and he fell asleep.

"McKay…Beckett just got here," Ronan spoke gently to his friend.

Ronan sat and watched Rodney pace the length of the jumper back and forth while Carson calmly looked over their leader. If there was one thing Ronan had learned in watching these people, it was they cared deeply for one another.

Ronan had been absolutely stunned when he found out that McKay and Sheppard were brothers, they seemed so very different, and yet at times they were very similar. Ronan had never seen anyone protect their siblings as much as John did, or even Rodney. John was always the first Rodney saw when he was hurt, always the first to ask how he was, and always the first to grab Rodney's hand to let his brother know he was there. There was a very strong bond there, and while Ronan had seen McKay screw up amazingly, John still seemed to be very proud of his brother.

So as Ronan sat, contemplating John he watched the younger brother and realized that perhaps as much as John strove to protect his little brother, Rodney wanted to protect John just as badly. Rodney had this way of protecting the people around him when he could, obviously those people who spent time getting close to him, he valued more than anything.

"Rodney, come sit down," Teyla whispered from where she sat beside Ronan.

Rodney seemed to study her for a moment, probably wondering if she would force him to sit, before Rodney finally moved over and sat down with them.

"He will be fine," Teyla said gently as she clasped her friend's hand.

"I know…I just…" Rodney shrugged as a young would when they were unsure what to say.

"You worry, we understand," Teyla replied casually.

"Rodney, are you feeling ill?" Carson asked as he suddenly came out of the back of the jumper.

Two blue eyes looked up to meet his, Rodney shook his head, "no…fine…maybe tired but that's it."

"Aye, that's what I was afraid of…there's a very good possibility that Ronan and Teyla could probably walk through that gate right now."

"Are you saying it's just John?" Teyla asked.

"In a way…I'm just jumping to conclusions at the moment, but judging by what you've been able to tell me, and the fact that none of you are ill….my guess is this might just be targeting his ancient gene."

"Well then why not me?" Rodney asked suddenly.

"Rodney, your gene isn't pure, it was dormant for years, it's because of the gene therapy that you have the ability to use it at all. Either ay I'm not saying you aren't going to become ill, you might, but perhaps not until later. I'd like to take a look at a couple of the bodies in town, if that's all right with you?"

"What about John?" Rodney asked again.

"Don't move him, he's very weak. It's as though he has the flu, but he says he feels worse, I don't doubt it. Rodney you stay with him, you may be safer here. I'll take Teyla and Ronan back to the edge of the city to check this out.

"What about getting home?" Ronan asked.

"We'll get you home don't worry lad, Dr. Biro is on her way to do some autopsies, as soon as we get a good look at those, we'll be able to determine if this has to do with the ancient gene or if you're all going to get it."

Rodney watched Carson being led away by Teyla and Ronan. He sighed then moved back into the jumper. John was curled on his side, looking terrible, there were dark circles already under his eyes, his face covered in sweat, and he looked like he was in pain. Rodney moved over to his brother's side, kneeling down he grabbed the hand that was lying by John's side, and grasped it tight. With his other hand he gently ran his hand through John's hair.

Hazel green eyes opened up slowly, fogged over with pain and perhaps confusion, "Rod?"

"Hey big guy…how ya feelin?"

"Terrible…seem to remember another time…I was in a jumper…" John smiled.

"Yeah…you gotta stop getting shot, sick and hurt on these trips John…people are gonna think you have a complex or something."

"Look who's talking," John grinned.

"Yeah, well we have bad habits. John, what else did Carson say?"

"Not much…"

"You're going to be okay? Right?" Rodney found himself suddenly feeling like a child again, wishing for their parents.

"Hey," John said suddenly gripping his brother's hand tightly in his own, "I…I'm not going anywhere, you understand me. Can't leave Johnny an orphan…or stuck with you," he whispered grinning.

"Lauryn likes me," Rodney said trying to sound hurt.

"Yeah well…she's young and naive," joked John.

"You are all I have left in this world John…"

"You've got all of Atlantis…Liz, Car…Teyla…the overgrown ape…your nephew and daughter…and you have me."

"Yeah…"

There was a quiet moment between the two brothers, neither loosening their grip. John grimaced against more pain, Rodney just sat there and held him through it, gripping his arms and rubbing his back.

"I'm here John," Rodney whispered.

"Know it…" came the reply before John slipped into a light sleep.

"Rodney is very concerned about his brother," Teyla voiced her concern as Carson knelt over on of the dead bodies.

"Aye…Rodney's been ill so much, I think perhaps he's seeing how his brother felt." Pausing he shook his head, "there's no way for me to tell they're ancients unless we can test them…"

"Then do we do?"

"We have to figure out what is wrong with him, and fix it."

"Dr. Beckett, how do you plan to do this?"

"If I knew that…I wouldn't be so confused and worried," whispered Carson.

Carson, Teyla and Ronan made their way back to the jumper, "Rodney?" Carson called, he saw the figure lying half on and half off his brother's bed.

"Rodney?" Carson hurried over to him, getting closer he saw the fine sheen of sweat covering the man's face, his raspy breathing. Carson reached out to grab his friend, and was stunned to feel the scientist's shivers through the protective uniform separating Carson from the illness. "Teyla, I need some help!" Carson cried over his shoulder as he gently maneuvered his best friend onto the floor.

"What happened?"

"He's sick, he's burning with fever…I think he has what John has."

---------------

Elizabeth sighed as she sat in front of Carson, Teyla and Ronan. Carson had come up with the idea of bringing Teyla and Ronan back through the gate with him. If they were allowed through it meant Atlantis didn't detect the illness in either of them. If they didn't have the illness then it was quite possible that this illness only afflicted those with the ancient gene.

"All of this is amazing information, but how are you going to cure John and Rodney?" Elizabeth asked.

"I don't know yet…I have Zelenka and several of the other scientists working on an idea."

"Carson, are you sure it's safe for you to go back there?"

"Elizabeth, as much as I think it's probably a terrible idea, I have to go…they're my friends…they need me."

"All right, just be safe, please."

"We will Elizabeth," Carson sighed softly as he slowly stood to his feet and headed out of the briefing room.

"One of these days…we're going to have a normal day on Atlantis," murmured Elizabeth as she ran her hand through her hair.

They returned to the planet shortly after the briefing, Carson stepped back into the back of the jumper and sighed. Rodney lay on one side, John on the other, both covered with towels, sleeping lightly, a wash cloth on their foreheads.

"How are they?" Carson asked one of the other doctors as he knelt next to his two friends.

"John lost consciousness an hour ago, he's been out of it since. Rodney is in and out of consciousness…he's pretty weak, we've tried to get him to eat something, but he says he isn't hungry."

"I'll take care of it lad, thank you," Carson said gently patting his friend's shoulder. Carson moved over to Rodney's side, kneeling down beside him he gently squeezed his best friend's hand. "Hey big guy, I know you're in there."

Rodney's blue eyes slowly opened to gaze up at his best friend and he sighed weakly, "Hey Bones," murmured Rodney.

"Hey Spock…how ya feelin?" Carson returned with a soft smile.

"Terrible…"

"Rodney, I know you're tired and you feel bad, but I need your help. Can you think of anyway we can stop this plague?"

"You're the voodoo priest…"

"Well if you're feelin' good enough to joke around, ye can't be that sick," Carson smiled.

"Is it the ancient gene?"

"We're fairly sure it is…any ideas?"

"How's…Kirk?"

Carson smiled a lopsided grin, "he's fine Rod."

"Terrible liar," mumbled Rodney.

"Apparently it runs in our little family we've made. Rod, have you had anything to eat recently?"

"Not since this morning…"

"We need to get food inside you, it's one thing for you to be dying of some plague, but we can prevent your hypoglycemic problems," Carson spoke kindly.

"Not hungry," replied Rodney.

"I didn't ask you if you were hungry, you need to eat," Carson looked around and spotted Rodney's vest, where he knew the scientist held his stash within. He only had to search for a moment before finding one of Rodney's cereal bars, "try and eat some of it."

"Thanks," mumbled Rodney as he took the bar.

Carson moved over to John, flashing a penlight in both his eyes, the eyes were still responsive, he had a weak heart beat, his fever was dangerously high, but he was still with them…for now.

---------------

Things only seemed to get worse, eventually both men became unresponsive, Carson was becoming frantic for something to do, and without Rodney to help him, he wasn't sure he could come up with an answer to this one.

"Carson?" came Elizabeth's gentle voice, he looked up from the papers sitting on his desk. He'd been spending all his time either on the planet with McKay and Sheppard or in his office trying to find someway to save them. It had been three days, and their deterioration rate was disturbingly quick. "How are you?"

"Me…I'm fine," he sighed, "it's John and Rodney I'm concerned about, if we don't figure this out soon, John's going to die, and Rodney isn't far behind him."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Not unless you know how to get rid of the ancient gene…" Suddenly he stopped, his eyes growing wide.

"What?" Elizabeth asked.

"That's it, we don't have to get rid of the gene, we just have to hide it temporarily…"

"What are you thinking Carson?"

"Give them the Iratus gene…"

"WHAT?" Elizabeth cried, had her best doctor finally lost his mind, "You can't seriously be considering something so…so…"

"Drastic? Crazy? Think about it Elizabeth, it completely alter John's DNA, if we give them both a powerful dose, not enough to kill them, but just enough to do a fast job on them, maybe we can trick the plague into believe they're not Ancients anymore, and maybe we can get them back through the gate. Once they're through the gate, we have a medical team standing by with the reversal serum, we've got just enough."

"Carson it's crazy, and dangerous…"

"Elizabeth, it could be our only chance, if this plague senses the DNA of a Wraith bug, it'll instantly let go, and it's a good bet the Wraith could have created it."

"And if this doesn't work?"

"Elizabeth they're going to die, this is our only chance."

"They're not going to like it! John hated what he went through…"

"I'll talk to them, Elizabeth please, you have to understand, if we don't try something they will die."

"All right, I've got it!" hissed Elizabeth, she put her face in her hands and sighed, "I'm sorry," she whispered. She was surprised when she suddenly felt two very strong arms wrapped around her body. She never felt so safe, for the first time in a long time she allowed herself the opportunity to cry. She buried her face in his shoulder and sobbed.

"Rodney, John, I don't know if you guys can hear me…you're going to hate me for this, an' I'll understand if ye never forgive me…I think I may have an idea for helping you guys…"

"Stop stalling," mumbled John as he looked over at his best friend.

"I want to fool the plague by altering your DNA with that of the Iratus bug, essentially it should cause your DNA to be altered and confuse the plague, hopefully the plague will dissipate within your body, then we can rush you back to Atlantis, and return you back to normal with what's left of the shot we gave John."

"I hate…those bugs," mumbled John.

"I know you do, trust me…but this is the only thing we could come up with," Carson told his friends.

"Lets do it," whispered Rodney.

"Are you sure?" Carson asked moving closer to his friend.

"You didn….didn't give us a lot of…options…" replied John.

"All right, we'll do it."

-----------------

John slowly opened his eyes and groaned as the light instantly permeated his senses. He instantly rose his hands to his eyes, but felt it captured by another hand.

"Easy Colonel," came the Scottish voice.

"What happened?"

"You've had a rough couple weeks, how do you feel?"

"Ah…like I've been put through the wringer…"

"It's to be expected, do you remember anything?"

"Some ancient plague…then I have the vague memory of you telling us you'd have to…turn us into bugs," mumbled John.

"Yes…well we succeeded in tricking the plague…we got you back here. Well to say the least you are doing much better."

"Rodney?"

"I discharged him yesterday, he's much better, hopefully resting in his quarters."

"Another disaster averted?"

"Aye John, another one…get some rest, you'll be out of here in no time."

John nodded and slowly closed his eyes, sighing against the pain in the back of his head. He allowed sleep to take over his mind. The soft beep of his monitors lulling him into a deep sleep.

Until Next Time


	47. Critical Judgement

Chapter Forty-Eight: Critical Mass

"Did you see Zelenka!" John asked grinning as he moved into the room. Elizabeth didn't look up from her spot at the desk.

"No," she replied softly.

"You should take a quick look before he washes his face off, the kids did a real number on him!" grinned Sheppard as he perched himself on the edge of her desk.

"I asked Carson to give everyone on the base a full exam…if Caldwell could have a goa'uld in him, any of us could."

"There's creepy thought."

"Yes it is…I crossed a line…today John…with Kavanagh."

"You did what you had to do. The good news was, he wasn't hurt."

"Here we are, gloating about the in-fighting among the Wraith. How are we any different?" she shook her head and sighed.

John sat in her office for a few more minutes, reaching out he gripped her hand, "it'll get easier…" he wished he had wiser words for her.

----------

Elizabeth sighed as she slowly stepped into the small lab, Rodney sat at his desk, sipping his coffee, for the first time he really looked relaxed, he was wearing a dark navy blue hoody and black jeans, he looked amazing, but that was really the furthest thing from Elizabeth's mind.

He was tipping his coffee cup back when he spotted her, taking a quick gulp, he sat the cup back down and offered her a warm smile, "to what do I owe this wonderful pleasure?"

"I wanted to apologize," she whispered as she stepped up to his desk.

He looked at her, confusion in his eyes and cocked his head to side, "I honestly have no idea what you're apologizing about…usually I'm the one with the apologizing to do. What's wrong?" He asked sweetly as he eyed her.

"For everything…I treated you so terribly after…your screw up with the solar system…thing, and here I am…practically in the same damn boat," she whispered.

"Hey, come here," he reached out for her hand, and pulled her around to standing front of him, he took her hands in his and eyed them for a moment, "there isn't a person on this base…that in your shoes would have wanted to do something to Kavanagh. So you made a mistake, the trick is to get past it. Most people will forgive you…"

"See, this just proves your better than me," she suddenly felt tears filling her eyes.

"What?" Rodney asked shaking his head, "no way Elizabeth…."

"I didn't even forgive you, I let you almost die…and then I pull this stupid thing with Kavanagh and you're so quick to forgive…" she shook her head.

Rodney sighed as he stood and pressed a kiss to her forehead, "I'm your best friend, and I'll always forgive you, until the day I die…Elizabeth you made a mistake, we're human, and it happens. As I said most people on this base would have done the same thing in your place. It's not like we actually caused him physical harm," he whispered.

"I'm just so sorry for hurting you…"

"Forgiven, come on, you can't dwell on this," he whispered as he pulled her close, gently rubbing her back. She sighed, resting her head against his shoulder and shook her head.

"How will anyone trust me after this?"

"Elizabeth, people respect and trust you, they wouldn't be here if they didn't. Making one simple mistake isn't going to change that, we'll always stand behind you, and even if the rest of Atlantis didn't, John, Teyla, Ronan, Carson, Cadman, Zelenka, Lorne and I would stand behind you more than a hundred percent. Now, wanna catch a movie? I hear Love Actually is playing is the rec room tonight, and I know it will make you feel better," Rodney said grinning.

"I'd like that," she replied taking his offered arm.

He smiled, pressing a kiss to her temple as they headed out of the room.

------------

Love Actually was far worth going to, Carson and Laura were curled up on one edge of the couch, Teyla sat next to John on the floor and Elizabeth sat with Rodney's arm around her shoulders.

As it came to an end, Elizabeth took a deep breath, unprepared to far another day. Carson offered to walk Laura back to her quarters, John headed off to his own, and Teyla left to her quarters in no mood to talk after the death of her dearest friend.

Elizabeth sighed as she sat there for a moment, "you okay?" Rodney finally managed as he pulled her further into his arms so she was resting against his chest.

"He's right…" she whimpered.

"Who?"

"Kavanagh…he said I do everything based on feelings…" she shook her head. "He's right, I'm going to get us all killed because I'm too blind to see the truth."

Rodney watched her for a moment then sighed, "For someone so smart, I've never seen you act so stupid." He pulled her around so he could look into her beautiful green eyes, "you are, without a doubt…the best leader I've ever seen. There is nothing about you that cries emotional….except this little break down. Elizabeth you know how to separate yourself from things, and you know when to be emotionally involved."

"Rodney, I've screwed up…."

"So what!" Rodney demanded suddenly, "Elizabeth we've all screwed up, just because Kavanagh is too self obsessed to see his many near death screw ups doesn't mean he's perfect. If he wants respect he needs to earn it, because I don't know anyone in Atlantis that respects anything he does."

"How do I get past this Rodney? I've just…I've crossed that line, I'm making my way down that slippery slope…"

"I'm standing here at the edge Liz, we all are, and we'll hold each other up. When you go down we'll go with you and find a way to pull you up. We're all going to go down that slope, the difference is who will stay at the bottom and who is willing to try and find their way back up to the top."

"I feel so…lost."

"Well…I know this may not be the best time, but seeing as we're alone and there's no chance of someone interrupting us, and you look like you could use some cheer, here," he handed her a small velvet box. "It's a little earlier, but happy birthday."

She flipped it open and smiled, it was a small ring, simple really, her birth stone in between two smaller diamonds, "It's beautiful…thank you, you know how to brighten my days," she smiled as she pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of Liz, you did what you had to do…he wasn't hurt, and now the people of Atlantis know that you will protect your people at all costs."

"But is the price too much?" she whispered.

Rodney sighed, "that's not for anyone but yourself to decide. If they don't see your desire to protect us, then they probably shouldn't be here."

"I'm sorry," she mumbled again.

"Don't be, it wasn't as bad as it feels…would you like me to walk you back to your quarters?" he said beginning to move.

Suddenly Elizabeth grabbed his wrist, effectively stopping him, "no, can…could we stay here for a few more minutes…for the first time my feelings don't have to be in check and I'm not ready to go to sleep and face tomorrow…at least here I won't feel judged," she whispered.

"We can stay here for as long as you'd like," he wrapped his arms around her again, and flicked another movie on quickly. He pressed a kiss to her head and smiled, "you're safe."

"Thank you," she sighed and leaned her head against his shoulder, her eyes watching the new Star Wars movie, her thoughts however, on Rodney as she looked at the ring on her finger. She had been correct, with Rodney she wasn't being judged, although Carson, John, Laura or Teyla weren't judging her either. Maybe Rodney was right, she'd made a mistake but tomorrow was another day, and if she wanted to continue being an effective leader, she had to let go of today first.

A/N: This chapter is obviously just an ending, this epsiode was good, I didn't see it needed much addition to it, so I chose to keep it short and sweet, since some of the next chapters are guarenteed to be the best. As for updating here's about how it's going to go, I leave on Thursday for my Aunt Wedding, and will have little time for a computer except for homework. I will update Wednesday night or early Thursday morning. Then you will get the 'Grace Under Pressure' chapter Sunday evening. Hope you've all enjoyed this, thank you so much for the reviews!

Until Next Time


	48. First Do No Harm

A/N: Busy, busy, busy, My Aunt's wedding is Saturday (hard to believe) So the next update will be Sunday night when I get back to the dorm. Aside from that, please enjoy this is a Carsoncentric chapter, so Enjoy! R&R

Chapter Forty-Eight: First Do No Harm

"Remind me again why I have ta go with ye on this mission?" Carson mumbled as he pulled on his uniform.

"Well…last time I checked you were the one who diagnosed my son and McKay's daughter with Chicken Pox…and since I never had the chicken pox, and McKay has I couldn't care for the kids, and Elizabeth doesn't have the time, and well Lauryn doesn't exactly like to be away from daddy when she's sick. Somehow doc, I think you're having more fun on this mission than McKay is with two whining sick children," grinned John as he gently patted his friend's arm.

"John, are you guys ready?" Elizabeth asked from her spot over looking the gate.

"Ready and willing," John chuckled as Carson eyed her carefully.

"Be safe," she called as the gate connected and she watched her people step through.

"Bloody insanity," muttered Carson as they stepped through on the other side.

"Relax doc, Carson this is a good learning experience for you, look at it like this, if anything were to ever happened and you had to be stranded anywhere for any amount of time, you'll know how to survive," John attempted.

"What if something happens with one of the kids…"

"Carson, relax, Rodney's a grown man who actually likes kids now. Besides it's his daughter and my son, he loves those two more than he loves…well Liz. He'll be fine."

"Aye, but kids can be fussy…"

"So can McKay," John shot in return with a playful grin.

"Ye know I hate going through the gate…"

"Carson, would you please relax, don't worry, it's a simple mission, we're just here to renegotiate our trades, and we'll be done before you know it."

"Aye…somehow those remind me of famous last words."

----------------------

Teyla accompanied Carson to the hospital in the city, where he diligently spoke with the other doctors working at the hospital. He had spoken with them before, but that didn't stop Carson from being worried.

"I'm asking for you to help my son!" a voice startled everyone from their thoughts. Carson looked up from the paper work he had been looking at on some of the medical items they would need to trade.

"Mr. Hemmilen, please understand there is nothing we can do for your son," spoke one of the physicians.

"See you keep saying that, but you haven't looked at him! What if something has changed…"

"What's going on?" Carson asked the head of the hospital, Doctor Marc.

"The man yelling is Frederick Hemmilen, his son Garrison is dying…"

"What's wrong with him?"

"We don't know, that's the problem this disease the boy has is unlike anything we've ever seen…we simply do not have what it takes to treat the child…"

"YOU WILL LOOK AT MY SON!" Screamed the father as he suddenly drew out what looked like a gun.

Carson gasped when he suddenly found himself on the receiving end of the weapon, "help me or he dies!" screamed the man again.

"Carson.." Teyla began.

"Easy luv, let's not provoke the man…take it easy sir…" Carson said holding up his hands.

"SHUT UP!" the man screamed.

"Everyone relax!" Carson suddenly called, he could see people starting to move, and while he valued his own head, Carson really didn't want anyone else getting hurt. "Sir…I'm a medical doctor…" Carson began, "perhaps I can help…"

"Carson…" Teyla began again.

"Back off!" the man's gun suddenly swiveled on Teyla.

"Easy, easy lad, I said I'd help you…"

"You're coming with me," the man snatched Carson by the arm and backed out of the hospital, the gun still shaking as it circled the area.

--------------------

"Of all the stupid…lame brained…moronic…." John pinched the bridge of his nose between his two fingers. They had met back at the gate five minutes ago, and Teyla had quickly explained what had transpired.

"He was simply trying to protect us John, you know how Carson is."

"Yes…I'm well aware of how Carson is, and how stupid he is…"

"He was simply trying to protect the people of this city."

"Oh that's great, meanwhile we're all sitting here wondering where and how to he's gone," John hissed.

"Are we going to go look for him?" Ronan asked.

"No…we can't, not now anyway. We need to go fill in Elizabeth…"

"What about Carson?" Teyla asked suddenly.

"We're just going to have to hope he can hold his own for awhile, let's go guys…"

------------------------

Carson was trying to be nice, trying to understand what the man was going through, but being dragged by the arm through the woods was not what Carson would describe as his highlight experience off world.

"Sir…" Carson began.

Suddenly the man stopped, and turned to Carson, for a moment the doctor was scared that the father in front of him had lost interest and would simply shoot him, but instead the man shook his head, "I'm sorry…I have done wrong by the will of the ancestors…"

"I'm sorry, my name is Doctor Carson Beckett…what's yours?" Carson decided not to be angry with this man, his son was dying, and Carson had offered to go as it was.

"Frederick…"

"Hullo Frederick, don't be upset, I want to help ye, would you allow me to look at your son?"

"Many doctors have said the same thing."

"Aye…but what is one more, I'm offering Frederick, in the end when you release me or let me go, or my people find me I will make it very clear that I chose to go with ye."

"Very well…thank you," Frederick spoke.

Frederick led Carson up a small hill, just beyond it lay a small simplistic house, one that looked far behind the rest of the advanced city. Carson walked with the man, hoping that by some chance he could help this wee boy.

Frederick opened the door to the small simple cabin and placed his gun down. Carson continued to follow him, into a small bedroom where a tiny boy, perhaps no older than Johnny lay on the bed, pasty white, with deep circles under his eyes.

"Father?" whispered the boy.

"I've returned son, I brought another doctor with me…Garrison, this is my…friend Carson."

"Hullo Garrison," Carson said offering his hand to the young child, "I understand your feelin a wee bit under the weather…"

--------------------

"Did Carson go temporarily insane?" Elizabeth tried not to shout as she heard what Teyla and John described to her.

"He was trying to help…"

"I think he needs to learn that First Do No Harm…also applies to himself," she mumbled. "Rodney will never forgive us if anything ever happened to Carson…"

"They're best friends…I'll never forgive myself if anything happens to him," replied John causally, unable to admit how worried he really was about this friend. "Speaking…of Rodney and Carson….how much longer until I get to see my son and brother?"

"Chicken pox is contagious for at least a weak John, sorry but you're stuck here," Elizabeth answered.

"How's Rodney doing with the kids?" Teyla questioned.

"Well…I dropped by earlier for a moment and he had just finished his shower and said he was doing well, that the kids were fast asleep, I think he's sleeping on the couch though," Elizabeth said grinning.

"Why do you say that?" John asked, he had told Rodney to put his son on the couch, the kid was small enough.

"Because Johnny and Lauryn were fast asleep in his bed," she said smiling.

"Well at least he's doing good…so what are we going to do about Carson?"

"He voluntarily went with the guy John, I'm afraid there isn't much we can do…you guys are welcome to go back to the planet and look for him, try to stay in radio contact with us and him."

"Can do."

"John," Elizabeth called before the man could make it out of the room. "Just be careful okay, Rodney would never forgive me if something happened to you too."

"Will do chief," John replied grinning.

----------------------

Carson did a quick examination, looking the lad over, then he looked up at Frederick, "what are his symptoms?"

"Fever, he's always tired…he's bruising easier than he used to…"

"All right, I need to draw some of your son's blood…"

"You know what he has?" the man asked.

"I'm fairly sure, the blood test will confirm it…look sir, if I can help your son will, I promise, but…I have to see what he has first."

"Very well…how do I know you'll come back?" the man asked.

"You have my word…my mum taught me never to go back on my word."

"Good enough, when will you return?"

"Tomorrow morning, I'll bring back everything I might need to help him, but be warned, I may not be able to help him."

"Very well…"

Carson nodded, giving one last look at the small boy he headed out of the house.

John sat on the steps leading up to the Stargate, trying to pretend he wasn't worried about Atlantis' CMO, Teyla was watching out, while Ronan had gone wandering for awhile.

"Colonel…" came Teyla's surprised voice. Lifting his head from where he had leaned it against the top step he was surprised to see Carson running towards them.

"Carson!" John quickly got up and ran towards his friend, "where have you been? Are you all right?"

"Aye, I'm fine colonel, but…the man, I went with his son is dying…I promised to help him…"

"Whoa, slow down doc, what do you mean you promised to help him?"

"Colonel, I think his son is dying of Leukemia, I have a blood sample to prove it…I have to get it back to Atlantis."

"Wait…you mean you're coming back here? You're going to go back to that guy?"

"He didn't kidnap me Colonel, I voluntarily went, his son is ill, yes I'm coming back."

"Do…do you really think that's wise, the guy threatened the hospital with a gun…"

"John, if it was Johnny dying, and everyone told you he was dying but they didn't know why…then suddenly a doctor who thinks he might be able to help, or at least tell you what he has that's killing him…would you let him help you?"

"I wouldn't point a gun at people…"

"John, listen to me, this man is desperate, I've seen you desperate, I know you can understand this man on some level."

"Ronan, get back to the gate, we're going home…Teyla dial it up."

"John…"

"You sold me okay, fine you can come back, but I'm coming with you…"

"I don't think that's wise…."

"Listen to me Carson, that man could do something crazy, we don't know what he's normally like, you're going to have protection when you go back there, and it's going to be me. Besides…my son is currently sick with the chicken pox, giving me nothing to do but worry that Rodney is feeding the kid right."

"Don't worry I have all the faith in the world in that brother of yours," Carson replied as Ronan joined the group and they stepped through the wormhole.

"Good…that makes one of us."

------------------------

Carson found himself standing at the door to Rodney's quarters, the blood was being run for every test imaginable, and Carson had little else to do, so after some pushing form John, Carson agreed to go see how the single father was doing with his recent charges.

"Rodney?" Carson called as he knocked lightly on the door.

He was surprised as the door slid open, instead of Rodney, Johnny stood at the door, specked with chicken pox but none worse for the wear. "Hey Johnny, how do ye feel?" Carson asked as he scooped the seven year old into his arms.

"Tired…but I couldn't sleep anymore," explained the boy.

"Well, how is your Uncle Rodney feeling?" Carson said chuckling.

"We're doing fine...which is more than I can say with you, word has it that you allowed yourself to be kidnapped…and that you're going back to help him…"

"Aye, that would be right, Rodney, I have to go."

"Right," replied Rodney as he carried his daughter over to the small table in their quarters.

"Rodney, I really came to check on all of ye…"

"Well, Johnny here seems to be bouncing right back, he was pretty quiet yesterday, but he's doing much better today. And as for this little angel, I've discovered she can be as devilish as her father," Rodney joked.

"Aye well, she spends enough time with you, she is your daughter after all."

"Here Johnny," Rodney scooped the boy up and sat him in front of the table where a bowl of soup sat with a sandwich.

"Did you cook?" Carson asked.

"Yeah, mom taught me when I was thirteen or so, tomato soup and grilled cheese…these bigger quarters are great," Rodney said grinning.

It was true, they had seen the family sized quarters awhile back, they were the six of two or three single quarters, with a small kitchen, a larger bathroom and two or three bedrooms. Rodney had moved in shortly after taking Lauryn into his care.

"Aye aren't they…wow, you didn't even burn them," grinned Carson.

"Cute, for your information I'm a decent cook."

"Aye…right," joked Carson as he sat down beside Johnny, "well at least I can tell your father you're eating something healthy."

"Carson…" Rodney said warningly.

"Sorry, just joking lad."

"Did you want to join us for dinner?"

"Ah…sure," grinned Carson as he looked at Johnny. "Ye know Rod, I could probably find someone else to take these two hooligans for a couple hours if you'd like to…I don't know, enjoy a nice dinner with Elizabeth…" smiled Carson.

"Are you volunteering?"

"Nope."

"Didn't think so, here," Rodney handed the physician a bowl of soup and a cheese sandwich.

"Thank you Rod."

---------------------

Carson sighed as he looked at the results later that evening, the two children and Rodney had willingly played a board game Johnny had brought from earth for a couple hours, before Carson finally left his friends and headed back to the infirmary.

"Carson?"

Carson turned and offered a small smile to Elizabeth, she returned it sadly and joined him on the stool beside his. "Those the results?"

"Yeah…"

"And?"

"The boy is dying, from Leukemia, I can't tell what kind without a bone marrow scan, but the white blood cells speak for themselves..."

"Can you help him?"

"No," Carson said sadly.

"What are you going to do?" Elizabeth questioned.

"Take some morphine, tell the father how to administer it, and apologize for getting his hopes up."

"Carson you didn't do anything wrong…" Elizabeth began.

"Aye, perhaps not…but I offered to help…I gave a man hope that was never there to be given.

"There's no way to save him?"

"No, he's too advanced in the cancer, he will die…probably in a matter of days…if it had been caught months ago…perhaps maybe we could have done something for the boy…but no, there's nothing that can be done now."

"I'm sorry Carson," she reached out and grasped his hand.

He shook his head, as he looked down at the floor, "First do no harm…" he whispered.

"Carson…"

"Elizabeth, I'd like to stay there…until the boy dies…"

"Carson…it could…."

"Days, perhaps, I'll be fine…I brought them this far…I can't abandon them…"

"Very well, John will stay with you…"

"Thank you," he whispered gently.

She squeezed the hand she held in her's again and smiled sadly at him, "you're a good man Carson, we all love you here…"

"Aye, thank you lass." Carson said gently as he squeezed the hand in return.

---------------------

"You sure about this Carson?" John asked as the two friends made their way back to the man's house.

"I don't know John, it's one of those things…I feel obligated to help…I give them the hope, then I should be there…"

"To what? Suffer along with them? Carson…"

"Aye, I know, I'm a good man…but that doesn't the lessen the fact that…I keep making stupid mistakes."

"We all make mistakes buddy, you're not the first one, and you sure won't be the last…"

"Yeah…" whispered Carson.

"oh…by the way, I hear tell from a certain Scientist that you've got a date with one of my people," grinned John.

"What?"

"You're dating Cadman?" John asked.

Carson grinned and chuckled softly, "we've been dating for a few weeks now, just casual stuff, dinner, sometimes retire to my room or her room and watch a nice movie."

"All of this behind my back, Carson I would be hurt, if it wasn't for the fact that you're the only one of the three of us who can get a date."

"Well it's not like I'm marryin' her tomorrow John, we're takin' it a might slow."

"Well good, with any luck maybe you'll be our first official couple on Atlantis."

"Perhaps…she's a lovely girl."

"I imagine," grinned John.

"What about you Teyla, I've heard rumors that you've been hanging out with her a little more often."

"Ah, well, Johnny likes her, and he's taking martial arts, so…I watch."

"Right."

"Thank you John," whispered Carson.

Smiling John clapped his friend on the shoulder and smiled, "any time Bones."

"Frederick, this is my friend Colonel John Sheppard…" Carson introduced.

"It is nice to meet you… have you discovered what is wrong with my son?"

"Ah, yes, I believe your son has a disease called Leukemia…it's when the body forms too many white blood cells…"

"Can you treat it?"

Carson looked down for a moment and sighed, "ah, perhaps if I had met you several months ago…and we were on Earth…I could have, but no. I'm sorry the doctors were right your son is going to die."

John watched the tall skinny man stand there and take the news, the man's green eyes began to well with tears. John closed his eyes against a wave of sadness, he couldn't imagine how this man felt. John didn't know what he'd do without his son, what he would do if anything ever happened to Johnny.

"How long?" struggled the man.

"Days…"

"Can…can you easy his suffering?"

"Aye, I've brought pain medication…but the best thing for him is to be with you, make sure he knows you love him…."

"Thank you…will you be staying?"

"Aye, I will do my best to keep him alive as long as I can," Carson replied.

_I'm down on my knees again tonight_

_I'm hoping this prayer will turn out right_

_See, there is a boy that needs Your help_

_I've done all that I can do myself_

_His mother is tired_

_I'm sure You can understand_

_Each night, as he sleeps_

_She goes in to hold his hand_

_And she tries not to cry_

_As the tears fill her eyes_

The next several days seemed to drag all too slow for them three men as they watched the seven year old boy slowly die of a terrible disease. Most nights Frederick spent kneeling at his son's bedside, holding the child's hand as the boy either slept or cried through the night.

Carson sighed, rubbing his haggard stubble covered face, desperately wanting to rid the tears of weakness and sadness from his eyes. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked over at John, "I don't know how you feel about God…or anyone god, but my mom always taught me to pray. Even if it means we pray for a painless, quick end, it's better than nothing," John whispered.

Reaching out Carson grasped his friend's hand and bent his head in a silent prayer, John smiled sadly and bent his own head in prayer. Maybe someone would hear them and help the father and son get through this pain.

_Can You hear me_

_Am I getting through tonight_

_Can You see him_

_Can You make him feel alright_

_If You can hear me_

_Let me take his place somehow_

_See, he's not just anyone_

_He's my son_

"Father…" came the pained whisper. Frederick looked up into the eyes of his son, he smiled sadly as he gently rubbed his fingers against the child's cheek.

"I'm here my child."

"I'm going to die aren't I?"

"Yes child, but do not fear, you will be welcomed by our God, for your kind life."

"I'm not scared father…but you shouldn't be either…I will no longer hurt," the child reached out and brushed his hand against his father's tear stained cheek.

"Oh child, I want you out of pain, but know that I am not afraid, I am sad…I will be loosing my little boy."

"Do not be sad daddy…do not cry…carry on for me," he whispered weakly.

"I will carry on for you my son," whimpered the man as he pressed a kiss to the child's pale forehead.

_Sometimes late at night I watch him sleep_

_I dream of the boy he'd like to be_

_I try to be strong and see him through_

_But God, who he needs right now is You_

_Let him grow old_

_Live life without this fear_

_What would I be_

_Living without him here_

_He's so tired and he's scared_

_Let him know that You're there_

Carson knelt beside the bed, gently grasping the frail wrist in his head, he lowered his head, and another silent prayer of thanks went out for the father who would be left. Carson lifted his blood shot eyes up to the man and nodded sadly.

The man looked down at his child, crying softly as he settled his head against the boy's chest. John looked down, rubbing his own eyes, trying to remove the tears as he grasped Carson's shoulder and squeezed.

_Can You hear me_

_Am I getting through tonight_

_Can You see him_

_Can You make him feel alright_

_If You can hear me_

_Let me take his place somehow_

_See he's not just anyone_

_Can You hear me_

_Can You see him_

_Please don't leave him_

_He's my son_

"Thank you…for all your help Doctor Beckett," Frederick whispered as he shook Carson's hand the next day. They had laid the child to rest behind the house.

"I'm sorry I couldn't do more," Carson replied gently shaking the outstretched hand.

"You did pleanty."

"Take care of yourself Frederick," John said also shaking the man's hand.

---------------------

John and Carson stepped through the Stargate, "DADDY!" came the joyful cry. John smiled as he swooped his son up into his arms, hugging him with all the gusto he had.

"I missed you little buddy," John said as his son wrapped his arms around his father's neck and laid his head against John's shoulders.

"I missed you too daddy…Uncle Rodney says I can live with you again."

"Oh he did, did he," grinned John as he smiled at his brother.

Rodney seemed to know what he was doing when he handed Lauryn over to Carson. Carson's frown instantly turned to a smile as he hugged and pressed a kiss to the little face. "Missed you little one," Carson whispered.

"Welcome home," Elizabeth said as she joined them in the main gate area.

"Thank you ma'am," Carson replied.

-----------------

"Daddy," came the soft voice, John looked up from where he was seated on the couch.

"Hey buddy, what's up?" John asked as his son moved over to his side. In one fell sweep, John lifted his son into lap and smiled for a moment.

"I couldn't sleep…"

"Any reason why?" John asked.

"Thinkin…"

"You sound like your Uncle Rodney, tell you what partner, how about I read you a bedtime story?"

"I'd like that," whispered the boy.

"Good, go get yourself a book, I'll make you some of my famous hot chocolate."

John headed into his son's room a few moments later and smiled as the child sat on the bed holding the Chronicles of Narnia. Chuckling softly he placed the cup down and lifted the boy into his arms.

John became aware no more than ten minutes later his son was fast asleep in his arms. Smiling softly, John pressed a kiss to his son's head, then rested his cheek against the boy's silky hair. "Love you buddy," whispered John as he held his son. Suddenly unable to think of a day without his son in his life, and how much he missed his daughter at times.

In another room, further down the hallway Rodney sat in a rocking chair, his daughter lying against his shoulder, sleeping soundly as he leaned his head back against the chair, also unable to think about his life without this little miracle he held in his arms.

One room over Carson Beckett sat with a glass of scotch in one hand, his arm comfortably wrapped around Laura Cadman's shoulder as she leaned against his, sipping her own scotch as they watched the movie and just enjoyed each other company.

Until the Next Time


	49. Grace Under Pressure

A/N: Well you're always asking for longer chapters, count'em folks this chapter is forty pages long :) I love this chapter btw. It's one of my favs! On another note Congratulations to my Aunt who is now Mrs. Catherine Nicastro and to her husband Mark! The wedding was beautiful!

Chapter Forty-Nine: Grace Under Pressure

"So let me ask you somethin' doc…well two somethin's actually, what's it like being Sheppard's brother?" the man grinned.

"Ah….why?"

"Well…he just doesn't seem much like a brother type of person…"

"I'm not sure I follow…he's my brother, and my best friend…."

"I'm just asking….lot of people I've heard on the Daedalus say you're on his team because he's just your brother…"

"Uh, I assure you Griffin, the reason I am on Sheppard's team is because I have the utmost skill in science. Now, focus on your flying," mumbled Rodney turning back to his screen.

"As a scientist, does it bother you that most of your work, no matter how brilliant, will eventually be considered misguided? Cause that would bother me." The man suddenly continued.

"I'm sorry?"

"Well given enough time, everything's pretty much proven wrong, right?"

"No," replied Rodney tightly.

"Everything from the Earth being flat to the sun revolving around us…"

"Well, if you wanna go back hundreds of years!"

"Scientists get it wrong more times than they get it right…take the tomato."

"What?"

"Well, after the conquest of Mexico in 1519, tomatoes were carried eastward to Europe, where they were believed to be poisonous."

"Shouldn't you be concentrating on what you're doing?" Rodney growled again.

"I've got it covered. You worry about you." Griffin replied sternly.

"I am worried about me. This is the first flight this thing has had since it was shot down and repaired. It deserves all of your attention."

"It made it to the mainland. If anything was gonna go wrong, it would have gone wrong by now. It took the Italians and the Spaniards to realize that tomatoes are, in fact, delicious," the man replied returning to his previous thought.

"Good for them," mumbled Rodney suddenly wishing his brother was here and to this moron.

"Columbus was Spanish – he figured out the Earth was round."

"He was Italian," growled Rodney.

"So I wonder what it is that makes Spaniards so good at debunking bad science? You're not Spanish, are you?"

"Oh, yes! Of the Barcelona McKays! Now, if you don't mind ..." his words were cut off when the jumper began to shake, he watched as Griffin instantly tried to take control, "what is it? Turbulence?"

"The inertial dampeners on this thing should smooth that out…" his words were cut off but a sharp jolt sending Rodney against the wall, "what the hell?"

"Right drive pod's intermittently switching to reverse thrust." Called Rodney.

"Cut it…I can drive with just the left pod," demanded Griffin.

"It's not recognizing any of my commands," Rodney replied staggering over to another panel.

"Brace for impact!" Griffin called suddenly as he looked at the water they were coming very close to.

"What?" cried Rodney.

"Were goin' down Doctor!"

"Mayday! Mayday! Mayday! Mayday!" he called as the jumper hit the water, jumping for a few seconds then skimmed the top, until it came to a halt and began to sink.

---------------

"What the hell was that?" Elizabeth asked as she hurried out into the control room.

"I don't know, I mean…it was Griffin, it sounds like they're in trouble," Zelenka replied from where he sat. It had been his idea to send McKay over to the mainland with the jumper. They had spent nearly two weeks fixing it, and both men had been excited to see how it worked. Rodney had been the one however to go.

"Try to get them on a frequency," Elizabeth instructed as she went back into her office.

-------------

"Griffin, McKay, come in please." Zelenka called over the radio.

Rodney slowly felt awareness and pain come back to him, "oh that sucked," he mumbled as he reached up, stunned to see his hands come away with blood all over them. "That can't be good."

"Jumper Six, come in please. Griffin, McKay, come in please." Came the voice of Radek again.

Rodney mumbled silently and quickly pressed the button on his headset, "yeah…" he moaned as he rolled over, stunned to see a pool of blood covering the floor where he had been, proving his head injury was far more severe than he had thought, "we're here," he mumbled.

"Rodney! Thank God! We thought you ... I've been trying to get a hold of you for over an hour. Find Doctor Weir – tell her I've made contact."

Rodney groaned at Radek's overly excited voice as he moved towards Griffin, "hey, you okay?" he asked as eh gently roused the pilot.

"Not so good," replied Griffin.

"Are you all right?" Radek's voice broke through his ear.

"I think we could both do we a visit from Bones," mumbled Rodney weakly. "What the hell happened Radek?"

"The jumper you were flying dropped off our screens, it crashed into the ocean…" replied Zelenka.

"Yes we…" he looked up at the windshield and was stunned, "we're under water." He whispered.

"Yes you are," replied Zelenka.

"Then how are you gonna find us?"

"We've determined the direction of your radio signal…but not the range."

"How deep are we?"

"One two zero zero and falling," mumbled Griffin.

"Radek, you've gonna have to hurry it up we're already twelve hundred feet deep and sinking at a rate of about…uh, twenty feet a minute."

"Very impressive!" Zelenka called.

"Excuse me?"

"Well, we always theorized that the Jumpers could be utilized as submersibles.

"Yes, I theorized it!"

"But twelve hundred feet! It's almost the maximum depth of a nuclear powered submarine," Zelenka replied.

"We are not so keen on setting any records right now Radek, so just…" his words were cut off by a loud cracking sounds. Griffin and McKay watched as the HUD flickered off and the large crack that had formed at the top of the windshield was now spreading down.

"Okay…that's a problem!" yelled Griffin.

"Can you move?"

"Yeah!" Griffin replied not seeing much of a choice.

"Radek the windshield's giving way under the pressure of the ocean!" called Rodney.

"Move to the rear compartment! The seal should be able to hold!" Radek replied.

"One step ahead of you!" Rodney and Griffin made their way back to the rear of the jumper, and Rodney quickly pushed the button to close the bulkhead doors. He watched in horror as they did nothing, "NO!" he yelled as he pushed it again. He moved to another panel and tried again. "DAMN IT!" he screamed.

"The crash probably damaged all sorts of systems." Replied Griffin trying the same button.

"Maybe if you were more focused on flying than enlightening me on the history of tomatoes ..."

"Well, your focus didn't get the drive pod to shut off. I'm still not blaming you."

"Yeah, because it's not my fault!" yelled Rodney in return.

"I have an idea," he hurried to the front section.

"What are you doing?"

"Good luck Rodney," the man jumped into the pilot seat, activating the control to close the bulkhead. Rodney made his way towards the door.

"No what are you doing! Griffin!" he cried, "GRIFFIN!" he yelled.

The loud explosion of water hitting against the bulk head doors caused Rodney to stop screaming, he took a step back, flattening himself against a wall, "why…why would you DO THAT!" He screamed loudly "oh god…" he mumbled as he looked around the pitch black jumper, "wide open fields, wide open fields. You're not stuck in a metal casket under thousands of feet of water. You're in a WIDE open field." He paused trying to breath deeply again, "There. Now….Zelenka. Radek? It's Rodney, come in please." He felt the pressure in his chest start to well again, making it hard to breath, "Radek," he squeaked, "please come in… Now, of course the radio transmitter is in the forward section, which is now flooded with water, which means that you have no way to contact the surface, which means that they have no way to triangulate your position. Okay, alright. You've been in worse situations ...Just because you can't think of them right now doesn't make it any less true. But you're not dead yet. Alright, you can fix this problem – you just need to ... work one step at a time. Now. Gotta find some light. So…all right…Ha! Light! I have light!" as he found a flashlight, "Now…" he whispered as he looked around the empty small compartment. "this really sucks," he mumbled.

-----------

Elizabeth sat quietly in her office, while John and Radek stood around her, "I thought you said life support could sustain them for days?" she finally spoke looking up and glaring at Radek

"I said life support would _most likely_ sustain them for days. I had no plans for the ship sinking and the cockpit flooding."

"That's when you lost contact?" asked John.

"Yes, if they didn't make it to the rear compartment in time…"

"They made it!" growled both Elizabeth and John at the same time.

Radek looked between the two and nodded slowly, "still they are going to be much harder to locate now that they are no longer broadcasting…"

"You'll find a way," whispered Elizabeth.

"Look, even if we _do_ locate them, our options are limited…they're already deeper than a rescue jumper's windshield can handle…"

"Look I'll handle the rescue part! You just worrying about finding them," demanded John.

"All right boys, we're on the clock…let's get to work."

"We'll find him," John repeated as he headed out the door, sure Elizabeth was watching his back.

--------

Rodney groaned as he pressed the bandage to the gash on his head, "this really sucks," he mumbled again, "Uh! I'm dropping twenty feet a minute. So pressure increases by one atmosphere every thirty-three feet, so, that's an additional atmosphere every minute and a half. Which means, I'm currently under thirty-seven atmospheres' worth of pressure, and counting. Oh, my! That is a lot. That's ... Okay, I've gotta slow down. Okay, all right, I've gotta stop sinking. No-no-no-no-no-no. Send a message first. Yeah. Check and see if you can get the ... radio transmitter up and running, because they can't find you if you can't tell them where you are. Come on, McKay, priorities! Here we go. Now. There we go. There, right. So ..." he took a deep breath as he looked down at his tablet, his heart was still racing He looked around, then looking back down at the screen to read 'Jumper Interface Activate', "good, that's a step in the right direction…now – how's our radio transmitter? Yes! I know it's inactive! What about the emergency transmitter?" He waited for a few seconds and smiled, "good, now we're broadcasting a signal…All it needs to do is penetrate fourteen hundred feet of ocean, which means that a ... a _whopping_ three percent of the signal will reach the surface, so ... so boost, boost the signal. How much power have we got to work with here? Three hours and five minutes? Oh, you gotta be kidding me! Three hours! What's eating my power? I'm working with flashlights here! Inertial dampeners are active? Well, why? I don't need them! Shut down inertial dampeners." Rodney growled when he read the next message, "Ah, come on! They're draining what little power I have left here! You do not need inertial dampeners while you sink! Now ... You are a piece of junk!" He yelled as he shook his fist at the stupid jumper, then suddenly he sank to the floor, "I'm gonna die!" he whimpered looking around, "I'm gonna die alone…"

Rodney couldn't deny that he was scared of a lot of things, but there was one thing he never wanted and that was to die alone. No matter how much he complained, dying in a small place, with the threat of drowning…alone was not what he had in mind. "John…I need you," he whispered.

----------

"Oh. I'm freezing! Why am I so cold? Oh, no!" suddenly he pressed his hand to his head, "I haven't lost that much blood, have I? Course, it-it could have something to do with the billion or so gallons of freezing water you're surrounded by, you idiot! Alright –I need to heat this thing," he paused, standing up he quickly removed one of the padding from the seats , "and I don't want it cost me a lot of power." He looked up at the jumper, "Can we at least do that, please?"

He quickly disconnected on of the cables from the panels above his head to one behind the bench he looked down at his hands, grimacing at how stiff they felt, then grabbed the tablet again and began to type on it, "Ah, there y'go! See? I'm not greedy. I just don't wanna freeze to death." He paused when he read that the remaining power level at two twenty, "Oh come on!" he yelled. A little heat is gonna cost me forty minutes! Is that really how you want this to go down, huh? You wanna freeze me to death! You sure you wouldn't rather I imploded with you, you, you, you lemon! Do you even have an opinion anyways, you, you ... no. Why? Because you are an inanimate object, huh!" he stopped realizing what he was doing and shook his head, "Does that stop me from talking to you? Oh, no-no-no-no-no, my inanimate friend, because I have been struck upon the head, you see! There. So ... " he paused and quickly started typing away at his screen, "Twenty minutes of power for just enough heat to stave off hypothermia." He replied easily. You drive a hard bargain, my friend, but, uh, you've got a deal. I just made a deal with you! A deal! Let's Make A Deal! You've got a deal!" his giggles suddenly turned to sobs as he ground his fist against his eyes, "That's not funny. What's wrong with me? It's, uh, uh, euphoria, elation, over- confidence, it's, uh ...Hypoxia! I've gotta dial up the CO2 scrubbers or I'm gonna die of hypoxia. That is so funny!" he giggled again. "I'm going to go crazy before I die," he murmured as he continued to work on getting the CO2 levels down.

---------------

"Take it over here; move it over here!" called Sheppard as Elizabeth walked into the rear of the jumper and spotted him by the cockpit supervising.

"What's all this?" she asked.

"It's my plan!" he said beaming

"Well I figured that much out by myself, care to elaborate what your plan might entail."

"Well, Doctors Moore and McNab are here to study the ocean on M8R-1229, which happens to be under a thick sheet of ice, so they brought a thousand-foot cable and a pretty powerful winch to lower their instruments."

"Okay…" she said not following

"And Edgar over here is responsible for the magnetic grapple designed to lower the F-302s into our Jumper Bay."

"And you intend to put the two together?" Elizabeth asked.

John beamed again, "Like chocolate and peanut butter."

"Is the mechanism gonna be strong enough to lift a half-flooded Jumper out of the water?"

"No," stated John.

"Then why…"

"Because we don't have to. We just have to get near enough to the surface so we can get McKay and Griffin out with a cutting team and rescue divers."

"Good. How long?" Elizabeth asked.

"Couple hours…"

"You and Rodney have been bugging me for a chance at trying a Jumper as a submersible, but you sure went a hell of a long way to make me say yes!" she grinned.

"Well, you still haven't said it yet," John replied softly.

"I just did," Elizabeth answered.

"Okay…how close is Zee to finding them?" he asked in a soft tone.

"I was just about to ask him…don't worry John, we'll get to them in plenty of time."

"Yeah…" he whispered.

-------------

"CO2 scrubbers operating at ... one hundred percent. Well, at least something is. Now, let's see if I can, uh ..." he looked down at the computer screen, the words in front of him becoming blurry, he groaned again, "Oh, why do they have to make these things so small? Look, I need to be the one on the surface saving the poor bastard stuck down here, not actually be the poor bastard stuck down here! By the time Zelenka comes up with a plan, I'll have died of old age!" he cried, rubbing his forehead.

He jumped when he heard a loud wail outside his jumper, "Hello?" he called, he cringed as he slowly stood up, "Are you angry, or are you hungry? Cause I am pretty sure that this thing is an instant case of indigestion, you know?" he jumped when he heard the wail again, no doubt coming from some type of sea creature, he looked down at his bad and realized the message he was trying to send was probably catching the animal's attention, "It's the transmitter! It must be broadcasting at a, at a frequency you can hear! Poor little fella. Poor little fella. I'm, uh, I'm sorry if I'm buggin' you but, uh, but I kinda need to leave this thing on for a bit, you know? Maybe you could, uh, tell my friends where I am, you could, uh, could you do that, huh? Could you go for help, huh? Could you do that?" He paused as he heard the creature groan again, "What the hell am I doing? Well, I'm, uh, treating an alien whale like Lassie!" he paused again when he heard the creature wail again, "Look, OK, if you're not gonna help, then just swim on by!" he yelled, he was surprised to hear the creature become silent "Swim!" he yelled suddenly realizing what he had just said, "Maybe the Jumper can swim! Okay. Cockpit is inaccessible. But most of the control conduits run back here, so if you were really meant to be submersible, then your drive pods should function underwater too, hmm? Which means I can fly you from back here – well, not fly, but I can surface. And even if I get close to the surface, then the emergency transmitter won't have to penetrate so much ocean. Now we're getting' somewhere!" he cried grinning.

-----------

"How're we doing?" Elizabeth requested as she approached Zelenka and the other scientists.

"We're making progress…slowly."

"Show me," she asked.

Zelenka nodded and quickly pointed to the screen which had a map of the ocean on it, "We started with the likely location of the Jumper based on the numbers we got while triangulating its position during its brief radio contact with us. We then estimate how far off course it has been taken – if at all – by the various currents, slipstreams, underwater rivers that the Jumper may – or may not – have run into." Pausing Zelenka changed the screen, showing how deep the ocean was and continued, "we then add it's descent speed at various rates."

"That's all you've got? You haven't narrowed the search at all!" she yelled. Then shut her mouth she sighed and shook her head.

"No…if anything we've increased it," whispered Radek sadly.

"I'm sorry Radek, I…how does that count as progress?" she whispered.

"Because we're no longer guessing. We know definitely that the jumper is somewhere in this area…"

"All right."

"Elizabeth, even if we do find them, there's no way ..."

"Sheppard's working on a grapple system that should help raise the jumper," Elizabeth said cutting him off. "We can't afford to give up on him Radek… Sheppard said it's going to be ready in a couple hours, I need you to be read by then."

"I'll do my best," whispered Radek.

"Do better than your best Radek, do Rodney's best, because he would expect no less."

"Elizabeth…it's all a long shot…"

"Radek!" yelled Elizabeth then the stopped, drawing in a deep breath, her tear filled green eyes met his blue ones, "Give Rodney your best, he would give you no less…I don't care how bad the odds are…"

"I will be ready," whispered Radek finally.

"Good," she murmured as she left the room.

-------------

Rodney groaned as the words on his keypad were beginning to blur, he felt his stomach churn, "Oh, this little keyboard is killing me! All starting to blur together. I need a new set of eyes," he murmured.

"Let me take a look," came the female voice.

Rodney stopped, gulping he stood up a little straighter, "did I…just…uh?"

"Yes you did," came the reply.

Rodney slowly turned, there stood Sam Carter, smiling at him. Rodney just stared at her, "Sam?" he whispered

"Don't worry, Rodney. We're gonna get you outta here." She replied smiling at him. She smiled as he took a step towards her.

"How did…how are…"

"It's good to see you too McKay," she grinned.

"Oh I've lost it. I've completely lost it," he whispered rubbing his forehead.

"No you haven't," she replied.

Rodney shook his head as he sat down and closed his eyes, he pointed a shaky finger at her and shook his head again, gulping past the nausea rising in his throat, "You're not real…you're not real…you're _not_ real!" he covered his eyes, scrubbing them again wearily.

He felt like sobbing, this was a genius' worst nightmare, being stuck alone in a jumper with some hallucination…while he slowly died.

"Well of course I'm not real," came Sam's obvious reply.

"I'm sorry," he murmured

"I'm three million light years away with problems of my own, of course I'm not real," smiling she walked over and sat across from him.

"Yeah well so what are you doing here?" he managed between gulps.

"You're hallucinating," he replied.

"Oh and how am I doing that?" he growled. Suddenly he felt the familiar twinge in his forehead he groaned again, "is it that bad…" he whispered. He knew it was, Carson had trained them to recognize various degrees of a concussion, and this one was obviously a biggie.

"The way I see it, you're scared. You're a little panicked, you're a lot lonely. You knew you could use some help, so your subconscious is manifesting the one person you know is smarter than you," replied Sam.

"Oh I don't think so!" he said standing up, and groaning when it was obvious that was way too fast.

"Don't start with me McKay!" Sam bit.

"You're very clever…I'll even grant you brilliant; but there is brillian, then there's me!" he said smiling.

"Every time we've worked together, you've been wrong and I've been right."

"Even if that were true; and no one is saying that it is- the fact that you could assert that…"

"Why else would I be here?" Sam asked interrupting him.

"I don't know! Maybe one last romp before I die!" he yelled.

"One last romp! Please we never…"

"Okay! One first romp! But it's romping that come to mind, not your brains blondie…Now you've gotta admit, I'm a handsome man standing…"

"You're essentially arguing with yourself, you realize that…right? Your mind created me."

"Why couldn't I have imagined Elizabeth," he whimpered as he rubbed his forehead again. Suddenly he stopped and looked at her.

"What?" she asked.

"What else am I hallucinating?" he whimpered suddenly as he backed up against the jumper again.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, if you're not real, what is? I mean, how-how-how do I tell the difference? How do I know that any of these readings I've been taking are correct?"

"You're not _that_ far gone," Sam replied smiling softly.

"No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no. I, I am unconscious in the Infirmary. I-I'm fine, and this is just a-a-a post-traumatic nightmare, hmm? So come on," he pinched his arm in a desperate whimper, "wake up, wake up, wake up." He slapped his face and cried out suddenly, "Ah!" he gripped his injured head and whimpered, "why didn't you stop me!" he screamed.

"No, no, no – see, you really _are_ in the back of a sinking Jumper. Your readings _are_ correct. You knew you could use some help, and you've got a pretty bad concussion, which you probably just made worse…so ..."

"So – here you are." He whispered weakly as he drew his bloody hand away from his head.

"Here I am," she replied holding out her hands.

"I suppose that's comforting…in a terrifying mental health….kinda way," he whispered as he walked closer to her.

"Why don't you show me what you've done so far?" she asked gently.

"Right…" he whispered.

------------

"Three miles – a very searchable area – and you've narrowed it down, Radek. You did a good job," John said smiling.

"He's too deep. Your grapple's only got a thousand feet of cable," Zelenka added.

"Well, we know the Jumper should be able to dive at least a thousand, so if he's above two thousand, we should still be able to get him with the grapple," John replied.

"And if he is deeper?" Elizabeth questioned.

"He probably is. The area we're searching goes to six thousand," Zelenka pointed.

"When the Wraith attacked the city, you were able to turn the shield into a cloak," John spoke.

"Yes."

"Why can't we do the opposite?"

"Turn the Jumper's cloak into a shield?" Elizabeth asked grinning at John's idea.

"That's right," John replied nodding.

"That would hold back the water, yes, but it would take significantly more power," Zelenka answered.

"We shut down everything we don't need." Suggested John.

"But it would take hours to reconfigure," Zelenka added.

"Take what we need, we'll make the changes down there," John commanded.

"Oh! No-no-no-no-no-no – I cannot possibly ... uh, no!" Radek said shaking his head.

"Radek!" Elizabeth ground out.

"I can't even swim!"

"There's not a lot of swimming under a thousand feet of ocean doc."

"Look Radek, I won't order you to go…"

"John," Elizabeth said warningly, All I'm saying that if Rodney can't turn to you…who can he turn to. He needs you to be down there if anything goes wrong. And you know damn well he'd do it for you."

"Right…" whispered Radek, "Give me a few minutes and I'll get my gear." He quickly wandered out of the room.

John looked over at Elizabeth who sighed, "I'll have Carson standing by…Just bring him home," whispered Elizabeth.

"Don't worry, I plan to…"

"John," she paused, "be careful down there, I don't want to lose both of you."

"You won't," he replied simply.

------------

"Now – given I have a limited amount of time to execute my plan before power levels drop too low, but provided that the, uh, uh,) uh, coding is correct, we surface and at that point they should be able to pick up our regular radio signal and then come pick me up," he shook his head, his head was growing heavy and fuzzy.

"How much power would that kill?" questioned Sam.

"I dunno…most of it," he replied quietly.

"It's a bad idea then…"

"Why?" Rodney asked.

"Well, what if it doesn't work?"

"Then I'm dead!"

"Exactly, bad plan!" she said standing up.

"Oh you're right! I should proceed with one of the other hundreds of possible options available to me!" yelled Rodney, grimacing again as pain shot through his temples.

"Look, I'm not saying that I have a better idea…"

"Well what do you want me to do! Nothing!" he yelled

"Yes," Sam replied simply.

"Oh, brilliant!" he argued.

"Stay warm, stay breathing, stay alive as long as you can…give your team the biggest window of opportunity possible.

"What window of opportunity?"

"For rescuing you."

"Even if they could find me – which, given underwater currents and multiple possible entry sites is next to impossible – how are they gonna get me out of here, huh?"

"They'll find a way Rodney," she said gently.

"No they won't!" He cried, "you and I both know the one person who can figure it all out is stuck in the back of a sinking jumper!" he growled.

"Me," she said grinning.

"Oh, touché!" he growled.

"Look, I hear what you're saying, and I'm telling you you're wrong. You have some very smart, ver motivated people on the surface and the only thing any of them are working on right now is saving you."

"Oh come on! They're planning my memorial service!"

"What about Elizabeth?" Sam sad suddenly, "you don't think she cares! Isn't she worth staying alive! Come on McKay, focus!" growled Sam, "she's not going to give up on you! And what about your brother, John would never give up on you, just like you never stop giving up on him! Then there's Zelenka and Carson, they think of you like a brother too, none of them could give up on you! They all care about you too damn much! You have to hang on. If your plan fails, and it probably will, you could jeopardize their plans and you will die."

"You gonna help me, or not?" yelled Rodney.

"I'll help you stay alive as long as possible, but no – I'm not helping you with this plan!"

"So my own hallucination is saying no to me?"

"You must realize subconsciously that you need to be talked out of this!"

"I can't even hallucinate right!" he cried.

------------

"Oooh ... I, uh, I wouldn't," Sam called some time later, Rodney looked up at her.

"You wouldn't what?"

"I forgot, I'm not helping," she replied.

"No-no-no – do you see something? Did I make a mistake? Seriously – if you, if you, if you saw something, just, just, tell me. You're messing with me!" he yelled.

"Sorry," she said innocently.

"You're trying to slow me down!" he yelled.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she stated.

"Now you sound like John! Don't play mind games with me!" he yelled.

"I _am _a mind game!" she replied.

"Okay, you're not gonna help me, just stay on your side of the jumper!" he was stopped from further thoughts when the jumper jarred violently, throwing Rodney to the floor, "What now, huh!" he cried.

"Feels like we hit the bottom," Sam whispered.

"Oh, really? Well this is good! Well the chances of us imploding are much slimmer now!"

"But Rodney…'

"No-no-no-no-no-no, no buts, Okay! Can I not at least take a moment to enjoy the _one_ bit of good luck I've had all day, huh?" he yelled.

"This isn't good Rodney…"

"Look, just, just ... just shut up! I mean, you come in here, you don't help me, you say the one plan I've got is bad, you-you claim to be a creation of my mind and yet you are in no way dressed provocatively ..." his eyes wandered to her lower neckline.

"Look…" she pointed to the ground, where water was beginning to flow through the doors.

"Well it's always been there…"

"No Rodney, it hasn't. The impact with the ocean floor must have created a micro-fissure in the hull."

"We're taking on water!" He cried.

-----------

"It's funny – I was just actually ... I was just, you know, thinking what would complete this experience would be freezing cold seawater in the compartment, lots of it, and because now the whole imploding thing is kind of off the table, drowning should really be brought back into the equation," he whimpered as he shivered.

"You can fix this Rodney," she said gently.

"There are micro-fractures all along the seems of the jumper."

"You still have fully functioning life support, right?"

"Yes…"

"Then create a positive pressure environment."

"What?"

"If you can increase the pressure inside the Jumper, you should be able to slow the leaking," Sam replied.

"Well, we'll never be able to _stop_ it," Rodney growled.

"I'm not saying we could, but we're trying to buy you time here."

"In order to make death as long and drawn out as possible huh?" he yelled.

"Just max it out McKay!"

"Alright." Sam watched as he tried desprately to use his cold wet hands on the tablet, it was obvious he was having little luck.

"We should probably find a way to heat this water, too…"

"See what a good team we make," grinned Rodney.

"Sure," she mumbled.

"No, I mean it. I really enjoy working with you. Always have. I wonder…I wonder why we never hooked up.

"What aside from the fact that you're petty, arrogant, and treat people badly.

"Yes…"

"Nope, that's pretty much it- petty, arrogant and bad with people."

"Oh, but….you do find me attractive, I mean physically."

"Lets stick to working on my idea," she replied in annoyance.

"No, this is _my _idea."

"How do you figure?" Sam murmured.

"Well, you don't exist. You think what my subconscious _tells_ you to think! So, really the idea was mine. Oh, wow! I'm arguing with myself about who had an idea first – me or me. I really _am_ petty, aren't I?" he mumbled as he plopped down on the bench.

"And arrogant, and bad with people, yes," she replied.

"Oh, well here we go." He popped his ears as air leaked into the room, "Inbound leakage has been slowed! Well done, Sam!" he grinned.

"Thanks! You too!"

"Come here!" he walked over and hugged her. He could feel very fiber of his body shaking like a leaf.

"Uh! Okay, you do realize what you're actually doing here right?" she said as he tired to press a kiss to her cheek.

"Ah c'mon! You're a figment of my imagination! The least you could do is take your top off!" he said sulkily.

"Your subconscious mind knows that I would never be into that," she said grinning.

"You are the worst hallucination ever!" he yelled.

"Oh, you can't mean that," she said sadly.

"Yes, yes, I do. Now please just leave me alone while I work on getting myself out of this."

"You're not gonna still try and control the Jumper from that little thing, are you?" Sam asked sadly.

"Yes, yes, I am! And I have to do it quickly before power levels drop below fifty percent. So, that leaves me about ten minutes. If you're not gonna help, then please stand back and keep quiet."

"See, this is why I could never have a relationship with you, Rodney. You don't listen to people – you don't trust them."

"I have every reason not to. Look, this whole thing is Zelenka's fault. He was the one responsible for supervising the Jumper repairs. He was the one who said she was ready to fly. He's the one who came to me, embarrassed because he was afraid to fly at the best of times, and suggested a test flight. God, I should have just told him to suck it up but no, no – I said, "Sure, I'll take her out." And now, and now he's all safe and warm and cozy on the surface while I'm stuck down here paying for his mistakes! You'll excuse me if my trust in my fellow scientists is at an all-time low. You want something done right, do it yourself." He groaned again as more pain shot through his head.

------------

The water was up to his thighs, he groaned as he blew into his hands, trying to get circulation through them, "why don't you turn up the heat?" Sam asked as she watched him.

"I did, but it's seawater. Got barely enough power as it is, besides I'm almost done here. What are you doing?"

She wrapped her arms around his chest, "for warmth," she said gently.

"You're-you're not physically here. You can't transfer any heat," he replied shaking again.

"Doesn't mean I can't get _you _hot," she replied grinning. Backing away she disappeared into the water.

"Excuse me?" he cried.

She suddenly reappeared in a blue bikini top. Rodney felt his head begin to swim. She reached out, and put her arms around his waist, reaching up she pressed a kiss to his lips, "know, I was thinking about what you said. I think you were right." She grinned.

"Uh…I am? Right about what?"

"Well I am your fantasy. It's only fair you should get some," she replied as she kissed him again.

"Really?" he said smiling.

"Yeah," she replied kissing him again.

"I knew it! I knew you were hot!" he said smiling. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her, suddenly he pulled away, "shit!" he hissed as he suddenly began to back away from her.

"Don't ruin the moment," she said seductively.

"NO! I know what you're trying to do," he backed away from her again and shook his head.

"One would hope," murmured Sam rolling her eyes.

"You're trying to slow me down again!"

"Well actually I'm trying to do the opposite," she moved towards him, but he continued to back away.

"No. No. You're distracting me. You know I've only got a couple of minutes to execute my plan and you're doing the one thing you know that could possibly slow me down."

"You're thinking too much, come here," she smiled and leaned in to kiss him again.

"No. No, I'm not gonna fall for your plan, Lieutenant Colonel Siren! Besides…I…" he shook his head, "if I wanted to keep warm you wouldn't have been who I thought up," he mumbled as he turned from her and hurried back to his computer tablet, "okay, this program is gonna work and I'm gonna execute it."

"Don't do it, Rodney. It's not gonna work," Sam said gently.

"Oh yeah!" he growled.

"Look, you're cold, you're desperate, you banged your head, you're prime to make a mistake," Sam offered.

"I should have ignored you from the beginning! You've done nothing but slow me down!"

"Rodney…" came another voice, a different one. He slowly turned to see Elizabeth standing there smiling softly at him, "trust her. They're coming Rodney. They're coming and they're going to get you out of here."

"But…" he whispered.

"Rodney…" came Sam's voice again.

"I'm not listening to you!" he yelled at her.

"Please give them a chance!" cried Sam.

"La-la-la-la-la-la-la!" he began to sing like a child.

"Don't do this…" Sam said again.

"I'm there! It's ready! No time to argue."

"It's a mistake Rodney," Sam said gently.

"I trust you'll be gone by the time I, uh…reach the surface," he replied grinning. He reached out and pressed the button. The engines groaned as they powered down, then suddenly the lights go out. Sam began to speak but Rodney quickly cut her off, "Don't ... speak right now. I-I really don't need "I told you so," so …" he replied.

"How much power did you waste?" she asked gently.

"Twenty minutes."

"That's not so bad."

"No, no. We've got half an hour 'til we're completely out of power…I'm dead in half an hour."

----------

The water was to his neck, Rodney was shaking as he heard a familiar sound of the sea creature from earlier, "What, what do you want from me…just, just, just go away," he whimpered. "I think he's ... I think he's just waiting to eat me. I treated him pretty bad," whispered Rodney looking over at Sam.

"The whale?"

"No Griffin, I changed the subject, you of all people should be able to keep up with me."

"Sorry," she whispered.

"He knew we were both gonna die, and he didn't want anything, so ... he ... I don't think I can think of a person ... He was dead ... I don't know ... I just ... couldn't ... He was a brave man ... and I ... It just doesn't seem right, you know?" he looked at her again, "been a bad day," he whimpered.

"You'll get out of this Rodney."

"I don't think would even believe you if you were naked…" he mumbled.

Sam watched as his eyes closed and he began to sink, "Stay with me Rod, stay alert," she whispered softly.

"My plan…was stupid, wh…wha' was I thinkin'?" his words beginning to slur from the cold.

"Twenty: twenty hindsight," Sam replied gently.

"You were right, shoulda listened to ya… Always admired ya Sam….I'm not just tryin' to…." He mumbled.

"I know," she replied gently.

"I'm over you…doesn't matter cause you'll never really hear it…but I've finally moved on…still don't think yer smarter than me….on your best da….maybe like a t…tie," he replied.

"There _is_ a compliment coming, right?" Sam asked.

"Yes. My intelligence aside, you're wiser. You were right." He mumbled.

"Well, _you_ were right, at least subconsciously." She replied.

"Guesss that's somethin'."

-------------

"Jumper Six come in! Rodney!" called John.

"According to these readings it's dead, no power," replied Zelenka.

"Let's get a grapple on this thing and go home."

"No it won't work."

"Why not?" Sheppard asked.

"It's taken on too much water. Sensors indicate even the rear compartment is partially full, the cable can't take that strain."

"But we can try!"

"No listen to me. No, it's a matter of simple physics."

"I'm not coming this far without doing something," growled John.

"The shield! We can extend the shield between the two jumpers!"

"Do we have enough power?" John asked.

"Yes. If-if we touch down on the ocean floor to conserve engine power, it should be just a matter of walking between the two Jumpers," answered Zelenka.

"All right, I'll get us closer."

------------

"What the hell was that?" Rodney asked from inside the jumper, waking a little further

"Help," grinned Sam.

"Rodney? D'ya copy?" called John over the radio.

"John?" Rodney couldn't believe his ears.

"Hey buddy, how 'bout you lower your door?"

"I…I…that's prolly not a good idea," slurred Rodney.

"Rod, listen to me buddy, we've got the cloak on the jumper turned into a shield and extended around your jumper. I'm standing right outside," John replied as he banged his hand against the door three times.

"WHAT?"

"All you have to do is open the door and walk into my jumper, come on buddy."

"I told you they'd come up with something," grinned Sam.

Rodney slowly made his way to the door release near the back, but stopped suddenly, "what's wrong?" Sam asked gently.

"What if it isn't John?" Rodney asked, his fogged mind no longer sure what was real and what was a hallucination.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked gently.

"What if it's another one of my hallucinations? What if it's, it's the pessimist in me just wants it all over with?"

"Rodney, you heard the shield come on…"

"Yeah but I hear you!" he cried.

"Rod, buddy, what's the hold up little brother. We need to do this sooner rather than later. This shield won't hold forever."

"You're minutes away from hypothermia Rodney, if you don't have it already…"

"I can't tell what's real and what's not!" he sobbed.

"Rodney, they're here. They did it, let them help you."

"O…okay," he turned back to the release and paused, "John…" he whispered through clenched teeth, we've taken…lotta water on…stand back," reaching up with shaking hands he pulled the lever down and watched in horror as nothing happened.

"Rodney, the secondary release!" Sam cried.

Rodney nodded, taking a gasping breath he dove into the water, Sam instantly followed him down. Rodney found the panel under one of the benches and tugged it. He leaned his head against the floor, as he felt the water chill his bones, suddenly the water was no longer there.

"Rod!" John cried as he ran over to his brother's side. Reaching out he gently helped his brother turn onto his back, "are you okay?" he whispered stunned by how cold Rodney felt.

"I…I…I will be," he whimpered.

"Where's Griffin?" Zelenka asked.

"He was in there," whimpered Rodney as he pointed to the bulkhead doors.

"Okay buddy, let's get you home," John said lifting his brother from the ground to his feet.

"No I need to decompress. Carter told me to increase the pressure." Rodney mumbled.

"Carter?" Zelenka questioned.

"I mean I did…I did…Oh my head," he whimpered. "Oh – see, pal. Sorry you don't get to eat me today," Rodney whispered as they all looked up at the giant sea creature.

"He's how we found you."

"Really?"

"Yeah…thought I almost lost ya," John said smiling gently.

"Knew you'd think of somethin'," he mumbled.

John gently pressed his younger water logged brother onto the bench in the back of the jumper, smiling softly, "hang in there buddy, we'll get you home in no time," John said squeezing Rodney's knee, he then ran for the front of the jumper, intent on getting his baby brother home. Radek sat beside him, "find him a blanket," John commanded as he closed the back of the jumper.

Rodney stood at the edge of the jumper, watching as the door rose and he waved to Sam, who still stood in the other jumper, "thanks," he whispered.

Radek headed back into the back of the jumper and saw Rodney standing there as the ramp closed. Radek grabbed the closest blanket and wrapped it around the scientist's shoulders, "come on McKay," he could feel Rodney shaking like a leaf through the already damp blanket.

"D….don't wanna….be back here….'nymore," mumbled Rodney as he continued to shake and shiver.

"Rodney you sould lay…."

"Please," whispered Rodney through chattering teeth.

"Come," Radek led the astrophysicist to the front of the jumper and down in the co-pilot's chair, assuming Rodney would feel better closer to his brother.

"Hey buddy, come to visit me?" grinned John as he continued to pilot the jumper out of the water as fast and safely as he could. He offered a glance over at his brother, seeing the blue tinge around his ears, mouth and the fingers that were gripping the blanket close.

"John….I'm cold," he murmured.

"I know you are Rod, we're going to have you back to Atlantis in no time, I promise…you'll be fast asleep under Carson's watchful eye in no time." John saw the wet head nod and his eyes begin to slip closed. "Rodney, I need you to stay awake a little longer for me, okay….until Carson gets a good look at that head okay?"

"Hurts," came the mumble as his head began to dip.

"I know Rod," John reached out and flicked his brother in the leg.

"Ow!" cried Rodney opening his bleary eyes enough to glare at John.

"I'm sorry, you need to stay awake, don't leave me hanging here okay," John whispered.

"Cold…and tired…."

"I know you are, but we're already less than fifteen minutes from home, then you can lose consciousness okay…. Just give me twenty more minutes."

------------

John lowered the jumper to the floor of the jumper bay no more than twenty minutes later, and instantly opened the back hatch, "BECKETT!" he called as Rodney's eyes finally slid shut. "Come on partner, stay with me," John lowered his brother to the ground, gently tapping his face.

"Do you have a pulse lad?" Carson came hurrying in with two other medics, holding a litter.

"It's slow…and he's freezing…." John whispered.

"Move aside son," Carson pushed Radek and John out of the way, within seconds they were rushing Rodney up to the infirmary. John looked up and saw Elizabeth standing there, nervously.

"I brought him back," whispered John.

"Thank you," she replied just as softly as she turned on her heel and headed after Carson.

"Radek…I…" John sighed as he looked after Elizabeth's retreating form.

"Go John, I will be by later," Radek offered.

"Thanks…"

--------------

"Core temperature is 90 degrees Fahrenheit," called Carson. "I need heating blankets! Someone get him out of these clothes…"

"How is he?" John asked Elizabeth as he came to stand beside her, watching the action from across the room.

"Carson says he's got hypothermia, and possibly suffering from hypoglycemia…God John I never even thought of him not eating the entire time…"

"I doubt he did either, you know Rodney, when his adrenalin kicks in he notices little else…he said something about Sam Carter being there…"

"Colonel Carter?" Elizabeth asked eyeing her friend.

"I don't know, I was going to ask him later…"

"He's lucky to even be alive…" she whispered.

"Yeah, to say the least…how're you doing?"

"Hangin' in there," she whispered.

John smiled and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to his side again, "just figured I'd protect you," he grinned, "Rodney would want me to," chuckled John.

Elizabeth smiled softly and leaned her head against John's chest as they watched and waited for Carson to tell them something, "thank you for going after him…"

"I couldn't leave him there Lizzy, besides you know Rodney, he would have found some way out," grinned John, "even if it meant riding the whale creature we found back here."

"Some how Rodney doesn't strike me much as a person to ride any animals…" she chuckled.

"Well…he does know how to surprise people."

"Good, you're both here," came Carson's voice a few moments later, snapping them out of their thoughts.

"How is he?" Elizabeth questioned.

"We're pumping him with fluids, we've checked his lungs for any liquid, we're trying to prevent pneumonia, and it looks like he was able to keep most of it out of his lungs so that's in his favor. His temperature is already starting to come, albeit slowly…his pulse and BP are also returning to normal. I've stitched up his head, he has a nasty concussion…but all in all I think the lads' gonna pull through just fine…he's going to be out probably all of tonight, I would hope, but I'll probably try and wake him for breakfast tomorrow if you'd like to come back."

"How was his blood sugar?"

"Not too bad, we were able to get some apple juice in him for a few seconds; he'll make it till morning when we can give him a full breakfast."

"Good…" John said smiling.

"Aye, we've got him covered in heating blankets as well, he's going to be out tonight, I'll be staying here to watch his vitals, you'd all be better off getting some rest, I'll let you know if anything changes."

"Thanks Carson," Elizabeth whispered.

"Can…we at least see him for a moment?" John asked.

"Aye, but only a few moments and don't wake him," Carson said smiling as he reached out and squeezed Elizabeth's hand.

John led Elizabeth over to the side of the bed, Rodney looked pale, compared to the pale blue he had been turning when they had finally gotten them out of the freezing water. He was covered in at least four blankets, breathing slowly, he had a oxygen cannula in his nose.

John reached out and grabbed his brother's hand, squeezing it gently, being weary of the various tubes and lines coming in and out of the arm, and the pulse-ox on Rodney's index finger.

"How many more disasters can we avert before…" Elizabeth sighed as she looked down at him.

"For as long as we can…" whispered John offering her a soft smile.

"Falling for my Chief Scientist was not in my job description," she mumbled as she pushed his hair away from the patch of gauze on his temple.

"Liz…I don't think anything that has happened here so far was in the job description, and if it was…whoever wrote that job description should have warned you first."

"I should tell him…" it was less of a question and more of a statement than anything.

"That's your decision, but I can tell you this much, waiting to tell someone how you really feel…can be a bad decisions, and don't take my word for it. I've spoken with Colonel Carter as well…" he squeezed Rodney's hand one last time before offering her another mile and heading out of the infirmary.

"What have I done to deserve you…to deserve all of this?" she asked looking down at him. "Sleep Rodney, tomorrow we'll talk," she leaned over and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

-----------

When Elizabeth entered the next morning she was surprised to see Rodney sitting up in the bed, eating eggs, bacon, a cup of coffee and some apple juice sitting in front of him. Next to him sat John, who had on of the bed trays by his side with a chess set out in front of him as he looked at Rodney, waiting for the scientist to make the next move. Carson stood on Rodney's over side, looking over his vitals, "much better lad," Carson announced as he patted his best friend's shoulder.

"Elizabeth, good morning," Rodney grinned at her.

"Nice to have you among the land of the living again, you gave us a bit of a scare," she said smiling at him.

"Gotta keep you on your toes some how," grinned Rodney as he finally moved a chess piece. "Check mate…again," Rodney stated.

"Damn! How do you do that?" John hissed.

"Lad, you might as well stop while you're ahead…or behind as it is," Carson grinned from their side.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," mumbled John as he looked up at Elizabeth and offered a small smile.

"So, how do you feel?" Elizabeth asked, perching herself atop the end of Rodney's bed.

"Not too bad, I'm tired, and I still feel cold…I would love to take a nice hot shower…" he grinned.

"Makes sense…John mentioned Colonel Carter?"

They all watched him blush as he shrugged, "She was a figment of my…concussion. And not a very good one at that…" he mumbled.

"So what, she was like your subconscious telling you how to stay alive?" John asked.

"Certainly seemed like that," explained Rodney as he stuffed more egg into his mouth.

"But why Sam?" Elizabeth questioned.

"Because she's the only other scientists I've ever seen as better than me, and as much as I hate to admit it, she would have been the only person who would have been able to get me out of that aside from Radek," stated Rodney.

"So your subconscious conjured up…your favorite fantasy girl…who just happened to be smarter that you?" John grinned, "I need to do that more often."

"Keep it G rated Colonel," stated Carson as they watched John get a far away sort of look.

"Listen Rod, I'll come back later, challenge you to my favorite game," grinned John as he scooped up all the pieces.

"John, you can't play War any better than you can chess," Rodney called as he watched his brother walked out of the infirmary.

"Aye, tell ye what lad, let Elizabeth help you get dressed and you can go back to your quarters and get a shower if ye promise to come back and let me take one more look at you," Carson offered.

"Really?" grinned Rodney.

"Aye, I figure you've had enough of being cooped up in anything…besides, your temperature is back to normal, your blood sugar also seems normal again…I want to take an x-ray of your lungs once you shower then I'll officially release ye."

"Great, thanks," Rodney smiled as Carson removed to tray of plates and headed off towards his office.

"Rodney I…" Elizabeth sighed as she smiled and offered him his t-shirt, "here," she helped him pull it on over his head then slide his arms through it. She handed him his pants and let him do the rest.

"Feel up to walking?" she asked as she offered him a hand.

Rodney smiled and swiveled out of the bed, touching his feet to he floor he winced, "muscles are sore…" he muttered.

"They were cold for a very long time, the shower will ease the tension."

Within moments they were headed out of the infirmary towards the larger quarters, Elizabeth's arm wrapped around Rodney's helping him move towards his quarters steadily.

"John told me that you gave him permission to come get me…"

"It wasn't like I had much of a choice Rodney, you're my top scientist, and I couldn't leave you there," Elizabeth replied.

Rodney turned around in his doorway and smiled softly, "yes you could have, but you didn't…thanks," he opened the door to his quarters and stepped in.

"Rodney I…" she stopped again, why couldn't she form the words she wanted so badly to say.

He looked at her, wish his deep ocean blue eyes and smiled sadly. He took another step towards her, leaning in, Elizabeth was sure he was going to kiss her, suddenly he moved just enough and pressed a long kiss to his cheek, "me too," he murmured as he turned and headed to his bed.

"I'll just…call me if you need anything…okay?" she whispered softly.

"Right…thanks again," he replied.

Elizabeth stood against the wall just outside his now closed door, quickly wiping at her eyes. It wasn't her job to be soft, to have these feelings. Had his 'me too' meant what she had thought. She knew what she had wanted to say to him, but suddenly she couldn't grasp the thought of him thinking the same thing. With another fast glance at the door she headed down the hallway, to the safety of her office, where everything was at least similar and didn't make her feel…helpless.

Rodney sighed as he stood his hands against the shower stall, the water falling over his head and down his face. He was amazed how good the water felt after nearing dying in the same liquid. His thoughts quickly turned to Elizabeth and he shook his head sadly, he shouldn't be thinking about her, not like this…but at the same time, he had understood her desire to spill her heart out…he just wasn't ready to hear it. If he heard it, then he couldn't continue his life as he always had. He couldn't be blissfully ignorant to her feelings to him. It was better off not saying it, for him he prayed it made it a little less true. If he didn't hear the three words he wanted to hear and say, he wouldn't have to change his life…they wouldn't have to change everything to accommodate one another.


	50. Dead to the World

Author's Note: Okay, so this story is slightly based on a true story, and for anyone who doesn't have a very good relationship with their mother, trust me,you do start to ask questions later in life.Anyway please enjoy and if you have the time please review as this chapter is one of the more important ones to me.

Chapter Fifty: Dead to the World

Elizabeth sighed, another busy day to add to her already hectic day, she rubbed her temples wearily, once again Rodney was temporarily off duty for a week until the egg sized welt went down on his forehead and he could see straight again. It was a miracle he was even still with them, Elizabeth thanked her lucky stars for that, and Rodney's inept genius.

"Doctor Weir?" spoke the young Lieutenant Jones, a recent bring in from the SGC, she had arrived just a few days ago, the Daedalus was due to leave tomorrow, she could tell this young woman, Nancy she believed her name was, would be a fine addition to their small "family".

"Yes Lieutenant?" Elizabeth said waving the young redheaded woman into her office.

"Colonel Caldwell just brought the mail from the Daedalus ma'am, and there was this for you," the young woman said handing her the envelope.

"Thank you Lieutenant…" Elizabeth quickly opened it, her eyes skimming the page. She suddenly covered her mouth, "Lieutenant…could you please…have Doctor Beckett, Colonel Sheppard, Teyla and Doctor McKay report to my office…" she whispered.

"Certainly ma'am, is everything all right?"

"Uh…no," Elizabeth replied gently.

The young Lieutenant quickly exited the room, no doubt contacting the five people requested by Elizabeth. Meanwhile, Elizabeth's eyes ran over the words yet again.

_My Dearest Sister,_

_Perhaps I should not be telling you this, for you have little to no memory of our mother, and what you do have is ill willed. I am no fool, I know you spoke of our step-mother as your true mother. However, you deserve the right to at least no what's happened. Our true mother has died, her funeral will be in two days, on the 21st, I hope you will come, and at least give her the respect she deserves…I would also like you to go through her stuff, I am currently unable, and will already have to leave right after the funeral. Everything is in order, you should not feel obligated to keep any of the stuff left in the house, however should you do so, it is all yours to keep. I am sorry again Eliza, but I felt you had some right to know. Her last thoughts were of you…_

_With all my Love,_

_William_

"Elizabeth?" Rodney's voice snapped her out of her thoughts, she looked up at him, trying desperately to hold back the tears threatening to slid down her unusually pale cheeks.

"What's wrong lass?" Carson asked as he joined Rodney in the room.

Teyla and John arrived only seconds later, Elizabeth sighed, pointing to the various chairs in her room. She paused a moment, preparing herself to explain what she had just received.

"I just received this letter," without anther word, she handed it off to Rodney who was sitting closest to her.

He quickly took the letter and skimmed it, before reading it allowed, he looked up at her with a little confusion written on his face, "you…said you mother died from breast cancer?"

"She did…my mother, Karen Acavone-Weir died on April 22nd of breast cancer. That was shortly after she married my father…probably four or five years."

"Then Karen wasn't your real mother?" John asked.

"No…my real mother's name was Alicia Anderson Weir…I was six when my father divorced, one year later he married my mother Karen. I know it sounds confusing, but my real mother, birth mother was dead to me long before now…she's been dead from the time I was four or five."

"Are you going?" Rodney asked.

"What about Atlantis?" Elizabeth asked.

"We can take care of it for you, you can even take Rod," John offered.

"Really?" Elizabeth asked.

"Sure, I'm not allowed to go off world for a few more days, a little vacation away from all that's happened couldn't hurt, I'll even bring Lauryn."

"I…I don't know," Elizabeth whispered.

"The Daedalus goes home tomorrow, you'll have to be gone for at least two weeks, so decide, since the funeral is the day after tomorrow you have all of today and tomorrow to consider it," John explained.

"Carson?" Elizabeth asked.

"Ye want my medical opinion or my opinion as your friend?"

"Both…" Elizabeth whispered.

"Go, take Rodney and Lauryn, get lost in some old memories, good or bad, let it all go. Come back here with a new sense of calm and collectedness. It'll be better than you think."

"All right…"

"Good," John said smiling, "Teyla and I can protect Atlantis for you, we'll even get Ronan to stand guard and snap at anyone who tries to do something they're not supposed to," he grinned.

"Behave," Elizabeth replied.

"I should get back to work, but if you need anyone to talk to lass, we're here," Carson said getting to his feet.

"Thank you Carson," she sighed as he, John and Teyla left, only Rodney remained. "You don't really have to come…"

"Sure I do, you'd do the same thing for me," he explained.

"That's true, I would…but…"

"Elizabeth, let me do this for you, Lauryn and I can help you get through this."

"Thanks…I may need it…" He reached out across the desk and squeezed her hand before heading out the door.

Elizabeth took a deep cleansing breath, in one arm she held Lauryn who clung tightly to her side, Rodney was holding both their bags as well as Lauryn's. She looked back up at the balcony, where John stood, he waved lightly to her. He had approached her earlier that afternoon in her quarters, telling her how sorry everyone was that she had lost her mother, and how he wanted her to return soon.

She waved a goodbye, then stepped through the gate, followed closely by Rodney. When they stepped through on the other side, Lauryn was beginning to whimper. Daniel stood at the end of the platform with a soft smile on his face. "Hi Liz," he said gently. She made her way down the ramp, greeting her friend with a strong hug. "This must be Lauryn," Daniel grinned as he gently tickled the girl's tummy.

"It is," smiled Elizabeth in reply.

"Hello Doctor Jackson," Rodney greeted.

Daniel smiled and held out his hand, "Hi Rodney, Sam apologizes for not being here…but she's been busy lately."

"It's fine."

"Daniel…transportation?"

"Right, there's a small, simplistic jet waiting outside for you in back, it'll fly you to the Connecticut airport."

"Thank you," Elizabeth replied.

-----------------

The Air Force had made sure to rent Elizabeth a car for their drive, and to make sure their was a car seat for Lauryn. The flight itself was just short of five hours. Rodney had stretched out near the isle, with Lauryn in his lap and had fallen asleep within moments of take off, Elizabeth; on the other hand couldn't settle her mind.

She was stunned by how easy Rodney could sleep during the day, and yet couldn't slow down enough to sleep at night. His mind always ran more than it should, then again he had suffered a concussion less than a week. The plane landed in the airport, Rodney had been told to pack warmly, Connecticut in February was not a warm time of year.

With Lauryn wrapped up, they made their way over to the navy blue SUV, "I'll strap Lauryn in," Elizabeth spoke, knowing Rodney wasn't quite awake yet, and probably hadn't had much experience strapping children into anything but a chair to keep them silent.

The drive up to the old house was beautiful, it was a thirty minute drive from the airport to where she used to live, she could remember it as though she had lived there only days ago. "You doing okay?" Rodney asked.

"Yeah…just thinking, you're going to see the house I grew up in, you realize that?"

"Plenty of memories then," he said grinning, "your dad didn't sell it, or have you guys sell it?"

"No…I guess he wanted to preserve some part of it, Will rented it out for a few years, but I lived in it for awhile, then finally I paid it off, and kept it as a get away…" she smiled fondly.

"A get away?"

"Well, I traveled, so when I actually came home, if I wasn't with Simon, I stayed here."

"Oh, okay," he grinned nodding.

"She wasn't a bad person…my mother," Elizabeth began.

"I sense a "but" there."

"But, she had a way of twisting people's words, she was the bane of my step-mother's existence when she was alive…and my dad's. She was diagnosed as Schizophrenic when I was eighteen, but before that…I don't know…like I said she was head to me long before that point. She used to push people to their break limit until they were about ready to snap and lose all control. Don't get me wrong, I didn't really hate her when I was six or seven…I didn't like her, but I was too young to understand why mommy didn't love Will and little Eliza."

"Eliza huh?"

"My father gave me that nickname, I never knew why, I think part of it had to do with my grandmother's name. Anyway, mom and dad split, and I wasn't one of those kids who was firmly attached to my mother, I never cried when she left…a Psychologist would said I had an Avoidant relationship with my mother…which was true. I would avoid her whenever I could. I always cried for dad. I never wanted my mother's love, or her holding me. Most people just said it was a phase and that I was really just a daddy's girl, and that in time I would grow close to my mother."

"And obviously you did, just not to Alicia," Rodney replied.

"Exactly, although I wasn't very fond of Karen when I first met her either, at the time she was just another woman I had to share my "daddy" with. Will and I worked at making her life a living hell…"

"Then what changed?"

"She was honest with me, I was eight… kids had been picking on me all day, and my father was busy, I thought no one in the world could love me. I spent hours crying in my room, hoping someone would notice me. Karen came home, she heard the cries. She was there for me when no one else was. She held me while I cried, talked to me, kept me company. She told me that she loved me like her own, and that she would never hurt me like my mom did. From that moment on, Karen became my mother, in all rights but birth right."

"She sounds great."

"She was, she would have loved you…she would have seen what I see."

"An ass?" joked Rodney.

"No," returned Elizabeth, "an honest and good man who tries to hard at times."

"And your other mother?" Rodney said focusing the attention back on her.

"Alicia was in and out of the hospital for a couple years…When I got older, I was a bit of a rebellion, I'm sure for awhile dad feared I would turn into mom…"

"What changed his mind…and yours?"

"A mental break down at fourteen…I spent a weekend with mom, and she chose to tell me something's I didn't like to hear. She called Karen a slut, and that she slept around while she was with my father…I don't remember every crying so hard in my entire life…I came running into the house, sobbing to my father telling him how I hated her and never wanted to see her again."

"What did your dad say?"

"He restricted mom to see me every Christmas and we had a birthday dinner the week after my birthday…I never saw her other than that."

"How did your mom take that?"

"About as well as she probably took having a baby," Elizabeth chuckled.

"Not well obviously."

"No…the last time I saw her was my graduation…she argued with me about a stupid ticket for her boyfriend, who I refused to allow him to come. She was furious, she came…but after that I never saw her."

"I'm sorry Liz, that almost makes my life sound pleasant…"

"How do you figure?" Elizabeth spoke with surprise, she knew Rodney had been born into a trouble family, he had told her some stories.

"Well…at least my dad went away, granted it was hard for me and I think of how sad I was for that length of time, he did go away, I never had to deal with him after that…yours…yours was still there, you always had that worry in the back of your mind."

"I suppose looking at it like that, yes, but once I hit twenty-one she never really bothered us. I used to hear dad yelling about her for awhile, how she wouldn't take her medicine, dad was tortured by her for years…sometimes I think she killed him. Slowly."

Rodney reached out and gently clasped her hand. She looked down at the hand in hers, with a grateful smile she squeezed it in return.

----------------

The house was beautiful and seemed full of life, it was a two story old fashioned brick house, with wood paneling on the side, the paneling was an off brown, making it look rustic and old, and lived in. The drive way was short, there was a wrap around porch with a swing in front of the bay window.

"Well?" Elizabeth asked.

"It's beautiful," he grinned.

Nodding Elizabeth pulled the keys out of her pocket, unlocking the door she pushed it open, Rodney stepped inside behind her, Lauryn in his arms. It was just as stunning on the inside as the outside. There were a set of stairs with an over looking balcony to the right, that no doubt went to at least three bedrooms and two bathrooms, on the other side of the stairs was a large living room, Rodney chose to explore that first. The floor was wood, making it look traditional, there was carpet under the couches, which were a denim blue, a light wooden coffee table sat between the couch and love seat. A TV against the wall. The walls were an off golden yellow, making the room emanate with warmth. Behind the love seat sat the fire place with a mantel, Rodney easily guess they probably rarely if ever used the fire place. Above it sat various picture frames. Rodney grinned, "you?" he asked pointing to the long haired girl waving to the camera. Freckles colored her nose and cheeks, the same beautiful green eyes looked back at him through the young girl's eyes.

The picture next to Elizabeth's childhood one, was no doubt her Senior picture, she was resting on a white wicket bench, her head lying on her arms looking into the picture, her eyes seemed to sparkle with life.

"You were beautiful," he whispered.

"Thank you, so, would you like the rest of the tour?"

"Sure," Rodney grinned.

The kitchen wasn't large, just big enough to fit three bodies and have little space left, but it seemed well equipped, the dinning room sat a beautiful ancient oak table.

"There are three bedrooms upstairs, the master, and two kid's rooms. I'm fairly sure Will's crib is probably in my old room, we can lay Lauryn in there tonight…"

"Sounds good, it's a very nice house Lizzy," he whispered smiling at her.

"Thank you…We should get ready, the funeral is in two hours…and it takes half an hour to get there…"

Rodney nodded, "I'll get Lauryn ready.

"Great, towels are up in the closet first door on your left, the bathroom is the second door on your left, you can't miss it."

"Thanks."

-----------------

Elizabeth was eerily silent throughout most of the funeral, Lauryn was also quiet, sitting between the two of them, though she seemed quite content playing with Elizabeth's bracelet that Rodney had bought her. Rodney sat on the other side of Lauryn, watching Elizabeth out of the corner of his eye. She hadn't shed a tear yet, and he knew it was in there somewhere.

No matter how much children wanted to deny it, the hardest thing was to lose a parent, it was even harder sometimes to lose a parent you weren't close to. It brought out thoughts of what you had done wrong. What ifs and if onlys. Rodney could remember spending weeks wondering what if he had tried harder to love his father, what if he had just been a better son. In the end the pain was still there and he felt worse than he ever had.

They went to the cemetery, Rodney was actually surprised by how few people were there. It reminded him of something his father had once said about famous well known people "son, when the president dies, hundreds of people will go, and stand around and watch, show their respect, but when I die, only thirty or forty people will come, they will all be heartbroken, now you tell me, who is the more worthy."

It didn't make much sense, in either way they were respecting the dead, but Rodney always assumed Luke was trying to tell him it wasn't about who knew him and how big a name he could be, it was about how he treated people and if he had friends.

Elizabeth seemed to cling to Rodney, gripping his hand tightly in his, he didn't relent. He had gripped her hand from the second they had stepped out of the car. When it was over and people started to break off, Rodney lingered a moment with Elizabeth, figuring maybe she'd want to pay a final respect alone.

"Liz?" came a voice.

Rodney looked up to see a tall man, probably a little taller than John, with the dark raven hair and green eyes, "William," came Elizabeth's voice.

He watched as the two stepped forward and grabbed each other in an earth shattering hug, "I'm so sorry Lizzy, I just thought you might want to be here," he cried as he held her.

"I did Will, I did, thank you," Elizabeth said.

"Thanks for coming."

"Any time little brother…"

----------------

Rodney opened the door to the house, setting the keys down in the basket by the door. Elizabeth slipped in behind him, holding very precious sleeping cargo. Rodney grinned as Elizabeth touched her finger to her lips, "I'll go put her upstairs," she whispered.

Rodney nodded and watched her head up to the extra room. He sighed as he headed into the kitchen to make some coffee, maybe he'd watch a movie before he headed off to bed.

When Rodney returned from the kitchen, he saw Elizabeth standing in front of the mantle, her arms wrapped around her chest, as she faced the wall. He could tell she was either crying or starting to cry. "Liz?" he whispered.

She turned around, her eyes were already blood shot, tears streaming from her eyes, "I…I'm so weak," she cried as she covered her face with her hands.

"Hey," Rodney admonished, "you are anything but weak."

"I didn't cry when the wraith attack, but I cry when someone I barely knew died," she whimpered. "I just…god Rodney, she's gone," sobbed Elizabeth.

He had been expecting this, and he would have gotten worried if the tears had never come. Reaching out, he pulled her into a hug, her hands covered her tear stained face as she sobbed into his shoulder. He gently rubbed her back in slow calming circles. She had to get this out of her system if she intended to heal.

"You're not weak Liz," he whispered into her ear.

"She was my mom…we may never have gotten along…but I loved her," whimpered Elizabeth.

"I understand, believe me," he pulled away for a moment and gazed into her beautiful green eyes.

"I wasted so much time, holding a grudge, now she's gone."

Rodney gently thumbed away her tears, "hey, you weren't in the wrong here Liz. You tried to care, she was the one who hurt you."

Elizabeth nodded, " I know, but it doesn't stop if from hurting," she whispered.

Rodney sighed, "I know."

Suddenly looked at him, growing quite, her head still caught between his loving hands, their eyes were frozen on each other. She found herself suddenly craning up to him, as his head dipped down and their lips met. If sparks really shot off, then they would have for Elizabeth and Rodney. His hands were still on her face, as she felt her own hands drift up to the back of his neck and head. The kiss deepened and for the first time since she had received the letter, Elizabeth felt contentment, as the exhaustion left her.

Seconds after it had started Rodney suddenly split and backed away, a look of fear on his face as he tried to rapidly draw breath into his lungs through his kiss swollen lips, "shit!" he hissed as he suddenly took another step away from her, "god Liz! Shit! I'm sorry…this wasn't how I planned it…I didn't mean…I'm such an idiot! I never wanted to take advantage of you!"

"No, no," she shook her head, raising her hand to her own lips she smiled softly, "no, we both…it takes to…to tango," she said smiling softly.

"Ah…now what?"

"You're my best friend Rodney, my closest friend, the person I can confide in, I don't want this to ruin what I have so naturally with you."

"I don't either…do we pretend that didn't just happen?"

"No, we kissed, we're adults Rodney, not teenagers. We both know how we feel about each other…We're not going to pretend we didn't kiss and hope it goes away, we'll deal with it like the adults we are."

"Right…uh, I made some coffee…did you want some?" he asked trying to keep the edge out of his voice.

"Sure."

Rodney returned, and sat down beside her on the couch, handing her the cup of coffee, "I stuck Star Wars in…"

"Insomnia strikes again?" she said smiling as she curled against his side, her legs tucked under her.

"Yeah," he whispered.

She smiled as he reached out to grasp her free hand that was resting on her knee. Smiling she gently leaned her head against his shoulder. They wouldn't ever get far, she knew that, she was supposed to be his boss, and her biggest fear was he would stop respecting her if they ever became truly involved, but she enjoyed the time she spent with him. And she certainly couldn't deny that she had enjoyed that kiss.

Neither lasted through the hour, Rodney had his legs propped up on the table, his head leaning against the couch, sound asleep, with Elizabeth still at his side, curled against him sleeping on his chest.

---------------------

Morning hit the beautiful house, sighing Elizabeth stretched her long cramped legs and opened her eyes. She chuckled softly as she realized they had fallen asleep through the movie.

"Good morning," Rodney murmured as he looked around tiredly.

"We fell asleep," she said chuckling.

"You want breakfast?"

"Uh…there isn't much in the fridge."

"That's okay, I can run out and grab us something, what do you want?"

"Whatever, pancakes or something."

"Can do," he smiled as he grabbed her car keys and headed out the door.

"DADDY!" came the cry from upstairs, of someone who wanted to make herself known to the world, that she was awake and aware of being alone.

"Coming Lauryn," Elizabeth moved up the stairs and smiled at Lauryn.

The baby was standing up in her crib, holding onto the railing jumping up and down, "hey, careful now, that things older than your daddy," Elizabeth grinned as she reached under Lauryn's arms and lifted the baby into her arms.

"Mama," she giggled clapping.

"We're going to have to see what daddy has to say about that one, now won't we."

Rodney returned with bags from McDonalds ten or fifteen minutes later, he set them down on the table and greeted his daughter with a kiss to the forehead. "MAMA!" the girl giggled as she pointed to Elizabeth who had started removing the food from the bag.

"Huh, you think that's a hint?" Rodney asked looking up at her with his boyish grin. "Can you believe that? Subliminal messages already and she's only fourteen months."

"Oh hardly, besides it actually has to be subtle to be subliminal Rodney," Elizabeth grinned as she headed into the kitchen to get plates, and cutlery.

"Oh I don't know, don't underestimate the power of her Elizabeth, she's a crafty on she is," he said as he tickled the little girl's belly, causing her to giggle.

"Don't listen to him Lauryn," Elizabeth said as she pressed a kiss to the girl's cheek, "you're a sweet angel."

"Daddy! MAMA!" she cried again clapping her hands.

"I'm fine with it if you are," Rodney said as he sat down and began to cut up one of the pancakes he had gotten for Lauryn in tiny bite size pieces. He then handed her a cup with a straw of orange juice, "slowly," he ordered as he handed over both the items.

Elizabeth smiled as the tiny hands gripped the side of the cup and moved it close enough so she could use the straw. Then she picked up a piece of the pancake and stuffed it in her mouth.

"What will people say about us?"

"Us? There's an us?" grinned Rodney.

"Cad," muttered Elizabeth.

"Screw what people say, it's our lives Elizabeth, besides it's not like I'm going to jump into bed with you…I'm not that kind of guy."

"Did you drink your special coffee this morning?" Elizabeth shot back, surprised by his overly pleasant mood, although she found it cute.

"How did you know?" He raised his eyebrows, then grew serious, "seriously Liz, we're not doing anything, it's not like I'm going to come whisk you off your feet and kiss you in front of everyone…maybe John or something, but not everyone."

"We can't afford to be open with a relationship right now…"

"And I respect you for that. We'll be subtle, besides slow is good."

"Good."

"So does this mean no sex on the briefing table?" he grinned, laughing as Elizabeth threw a biscuit at him.

"Bad!" giggled Lauryn.

"See even she knows better!" Elizabeth said grinning,

"I'm a guy," Rodney said grinning.

"I've noticed."

"So, what's on the agenda today?" Rodney asked.

"Well, I have to head over to my mom's and go through some stuff, it shouldn't take too long, the Daedalus leaves in a day or two, so we've got to make it quick."

"Sounds good."

"Rodney, thank you for coming with me on this…trip."

"I wouldn't miss it."

---------------------

It was twenty days later when Elizabeth, Rodney and Lauryn stepped off the ramp from the Daedalus, between them walked Lauryn, grasping the index finger of both adults. She was smiling like the cat who had eaten the canary. Carson, John, Teyla and Ronan were there to greet them.

"How did it go?" John asked as he scooped his niece up into his arms.

"It went…okay," Elizabeth said smiling over at Rodney, who simply reached out to squeeze her hand.

To the rest of Atlantis, it would seem like nothing but a little more moral support, but to their closest friends, they would always know something had happened between Elizabeth and Rodney, bringing them that much closer together. It was the subtle things, the hand holding when no one was looking, the reaching out to offer support a little more often, the smiles that lit their faces when they were talking to each other, and the way their eyes follow the other when they entered the room.

"Thank you again," Elizabeth said that evening as Rodney walked her back to her room from dinner.

"I would do it for you as many times as you need Liz, I'm just glad I could," he replied.

"Well…night," she said smiling.

"Hey; come here," he pulled her into a hug.

It felt so natural to hug Rodney, to settle into his arms for even a single moment. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and smiled, "Love ya," he whispered.

For him it was his way of admitting the truth, and Elizabeth knew it as she looked into his eyes, "I love you too," she whispered. She knew that was why she respected that he was willing to wait for her.

"Good night my sweet Eliza," with a final squeeze he turned and headed down the hallway, leaving Elizabeth with a gentle smile playing across her lips. They could wait, she knew for as long as they would have to wait, they would one day have forever together.

Until the Next Time


	51. Virgin Sacrafices

Author's Note: Thanks to my wonderful Beta, who was good enough to step up and offer help that I've needed for a long time, thanks NebbyJ! This chapter is just fun, it's a favorite. Also, I need everyone's opinion, I'm wavering between only writing certain epsiodes that we really enjoy, or just not writing them at all, becuase there are some epsiodes that I don't like writing as much as others. I'm fairly sure which way I'm going to go, but opinions from my readers would be great to swing me one way or another for sure. Thanks everyone! Enjoy!

Chapter Fifty-One: Virgin Sacrifices

Elizabeth was lost deep in thought as she headed down the hallway towards the jumper bay when she first heard it.

"Like the wallpaper sticks to the wall," sang one voice, from inside the jumper bay, that sounded strangely like Rodney.

"Like the seashore clings to the sea," sang a second that could only be John.

"Like you'll never get rid of your shadow." She could practically see Rodney grinning..

Stepping inside quietly she had to smile as she heard John's Sammy Davis Jr. CD playing loudly while the brothers sang along. This was what made her love Atlantis and the people she worked with, although she would never let the pair forget this instance.

"You'll never get rid of me," returned John.

"Let all the others fight and fuss. Whatever happens, we've got us," they harmonized.

Elizabeth had to cover her mouth as they continued softly. Lost in a familial bonding moment, they would never forgive her if she remained hidden to watch, so she cleared her throat loudly. Catching their attention, she chuckled.

Rodney looked up from where he stood beside his brother and grinned shyly, "Caught that, did you?"

"Oh, I had no idea you were such great singers, boys," she teased.

"Sorry. Mom said that was our theme song," joked John.

"I could see how. It's true I never see you two apart. Anyway, I just wanted to know how the jumper repair was progressing, seeing as you're leaving in an hour or so."

"We're nearly done with this one," Rodney said smiling.

"Good, well, I'll leave you boys to get back to…Sammy and Frankie. By the way, which one of you is which?" she asked grinning.

John and Rodney looked at one another.

"I'm Frankie," they both answered at the same time.

"No way! You can't be Frankie!" John griped.

"I can, I have the better voice!"

"Yeah right! Well I'm better looking!"

"Okay , well, I'll leave you two to fight it out. See you in an hour."

They never even saw her leave as they continued to argue over who was Frankie and who was Sammy. She laughed as she listened to them continue behind her, they were indeed one another's shadow. Rodney and John completed each other. They were best friends. And there was no question they were brothers by the way they could act at times. She couldn't imagine what Lauren had gone through raising the two as teenagers, they must've been a handful at times.

oOo

The planet was very similar to many of the worlds they had visited, which was just natural. However Rodney had a bad feeling about this one as they stepped out of the jumper and prepared to approach the city. Ronan had only ever heard of this planet, but could not give much information.

"All right lady and gentlemen, let's go chat with the locals," John said, slipping his sunglasses on as he pointed ahead.

"John, the city's that way," Rodney said gesturing in the opposite direction from which John had been pointing.

"I knew that," he replied as he and Ronan took the lead.

Teyla grinned softly as Rodney glanced over to her and rolled his eyes. They were no more than five steps away from their hidden jumper when suddenly there was breaking of branches. Fifteen men suddenly surrounded them, guns ready and looks of anger and fear covered their faces.

Ronan, Teyla, and John snapped their guns up.

"Put your weapons down!" shouted one of the men surrounding them.

"You put your guns down first," John returned.

"Put your weapons down now or we will be forced to fire upon you," the same man demanded.

"Right. Ronan, Teyla put the guns down," John said as he brought his own gun down.

"Who are you?" another man asked as they all moved a step closer towards the four Atlantians'.

"We're travelers from a distant planet. We come in peace, peaceful traders," answered John as he took his own step back, coming to stand directly in front of his brother. Teyla and Ronan followed suit, as they all closed in, protecting one another.

"We shall see, come with us," the lead man spoke, as the others in his group nodded.

"Uh, can we ask your name first?" John asked.

"No," answered one man.

"Friendly," mumbled Rodney from behind John.

oOo

The city was no further advanced than the Puritans back in the old days of Earth. They probably acted similar too. The four teammates were escorted to the middle of the town where there stood something similar to a guillotine.

"Is that what I think it is?" whispered Rodney, trying to breath past the growing lump of trepidation in his throat.

"Uh…yeah, yeah I think it just might be," replied John as he felt his stomach turn over.

A short man, with graying hair, and a considerably round belly approached them, dressed in long old robes. "Who are you?" he asked.

" I'm Colonel John Sheppard, this is Specialist Ronan Dex, Doctor Rodney McKay and Teyla Emmagan. We're explorers and traders, here to speak of trade with your people."

"We do not trade with those from other worlds. You will be punished for stepping upon this world."

"Punished?" John mumbled as he eyed the guillotine.

Suddenly the man's creepy eyes landed upon Rodney, "You."

"Me? Me what?" Rodney squeaked.

"Every month, one gives up their life to the gods. I have picked you," the man said as he turned and walked away.

"Wait! Why me?" Rodney yelled suddenly as he felt his arms being grabbed by two of the men by his side. He began to struggle angrily against the people holding him.

"Hey, what about the rest of us?" John said suddenly.

"You will leave after the sacrifice."

"WHY ME?" Rodney howled.

"You are the virgin."

All eyes swiveled on Rodney as he paled at the thought and grew still. John watched them haul his brother away and he felt his stomach grow heavy and cold. "Wait!" he called suddenly.

"What?" the older man spoke.

"Let us all leave, including Rodney, he is a good man…and he's not a virgin," John said, hoping he wasn't lying.

The leader cast another eye over McKay's pale struggling form, before nodding at his own decision. "He will die at dawn tomorrow."

"Can I at least talk to him?" John requested.

"If you must," replied the older man before he walked away.

oOo

"I am not a virgin!" Rodney ground out through his mouth quietly as he stood behind the bars of the jail cell they had stuck him in. Teyla and Ronan were standing by the door trying to keep a straight face. In fact even John seemed to be enjoying this a little too much.

"I'm not going to be angry," John began.

"What are you? Mom? Hello, John! They're going to execute me and you're picking on me!"

"You're really a bad liar," grinned John.

"I am not a virgin!"

"Who then?" John said crossing his arms in front of his chest as his brother squirmed.

"I hate you," Rodney mumbled, look just because I chose to wait doesn't make me a bad person, you obviously you missed a few of her sex talks. I distinctly remember her telling us to wait for the perfect girl."

"Guys never listen to that," returned John as he grew a little more serious, concerned about what was going to happen to his brother.

"Well some do!" bit Rodney

"Boys," Teyla called, giving the embarrassed scientist a small sympathetic smile, "perhaps it would be wise to discuss this at a later time. After all we do need to get Rodney out of here before kill him at dawn tomorrow."

"Fine, sorry, okay, seriously…we could always try to convince them that Elizabeth is your wife. Lauryn is your daughter after all."

"With my luck they'd wanna offer her up instead," mumbled Rodney as he pressed his face against the cool bars of the cell.

"Cheer up baby brother, we'll dig your virgin ass out of this." John stopped, covering his mouth as he realized what he had just said and started to laugh, "I'm sorry man…I didn't mean it to sound like that."

"COULD YOU GET SERIOUS!" Rodney yelled, groaning he stalked over to the other side of the cell and sat down on his bed, curling on his side away from his brother.

"Rodney…I promise you we'll get you out of here," John said suddenly becoming serious, he moved over and knelt down in front of his brother's face, who was still lying on the cot. "I promise," he spoke again in a softer tone.

oOo

"They want to what?" Elizabeth said staring at her second-in-command, who's face was red as he tried not to laugh. Ronan had gone to talk with Carson, while Teyla remained standing in the room quietly.

"You heard me, they think Rodney is a virgin and they want to kill him…tomorrow at dawn."

"How did this happen?"

"Well, apparently Rodney took to heart my mother's threat…."

"I don't mean him still being a virgin. Dear god, John, that's an admirable trait. I mean, how did you let him get carted away for it."

"I didn't exactly have much say in the matter, Elizabeth," John said in defense to himself.

"Well then, we'll just have to fix this. You're going back to the planet, and I'm going with you."

"Wait a minute…"

"John, we're fixing the problem. Carson will come as well, just in case. Get your team ready and a jumper, we leave in half an hour."

"Yes ma'am," John said quietly as he left the room.

" Elizabeth," Teyla began.

"What's wrong?"

"Virgin. I understand what it is, but do your people not respect it as we do. Among my people, you marry the person you lose your virginity to."

"Yeah, well we used to be that way, believe it or not. Especially if you happened to get someone pregnant, but no I'm afraid not. In our society, nowadays, you'll be pressed to find people who are honest and still remain a virgin until marriage."

"Are you?" Teyla paused, "I am sorry it is an inappropriate question."

"No, it's not an inappropriate question. Truth is, Teyla, I spent five years with the same man living in my house, so no I'm not. However, at the same time, I have been since I left him back on earth the first time, and I find it very respectful that Rodney is willing to wait. He doesn't seem that type of person, does he?"

"No. I always assumed he and…Samantha Carter?"

"Oh, no," Elizabeth grinned, "trust me as much as Rodney may fantasize about her, that never would have happened. Colonel Carter had her own eyes set on someone else. She wasn't going to fall for our poor Rodney," Elizabeth said gently.

"How do you plan on saving him?" Teyla questioned.

"I'm going to try and convince him that I'm Rodney's wife, and that we have a child. How, I'm not sure yet, but I'll figure something out. I always do."

oOo

Elizabeth stepped foot onto the planet, taking a deep breath, while Carson, John, Ronan and Teyla remained behind her as she looked about before turning and glancing at John calmly. He quickly nodded and headed off into the direction of the city.

The fat man already stood in the middle of the town. Rodney was by his side, his hands tied together in front of him, and he looked terrified. "Who are you!" the man suddenly demanded as he and practically the rest of the town stared at them.

"I…" John began.

"That's my husband!" Elizabeth said suddenly, fear written all over her face. She watched as Rodney's face turned white, no doubt his stomach turning over in fear. Whether for his life. or her's. Elizabeth wasn't sure.

"This man is a virgin. He has come to our world and shall now be sacrificed to the gods," shouted the leader.

"He is not a virgin, trust me." She looked around for a moment, then touched her stomach, "I'm carrying his third child."

"Liz…" Rodney began.

"Quiet!" screamed the man at Rodney.

"Why do you do this?" Teyla spoke.

"Because we must keep the gods happy, they help us yield crops!" explained the man angrily.

"Sacrificing an innocent man isn't going to make anyone happy. And I promise, if you touch a single hair on that man's head, I will personally kill you," John stated, as he stared the fat man down.

The crowd of settlers that had begun to congregate took another step forward. "You would do no such thing. You said you were peaceful people," spoke the man.

"My name is Elizabeth…McKay, please listen to me. That man you are about to kill is my husband, he provides for my children. If you kill him, you will be killing three young children."

"They're names," spoke one of the settlers.

"What?" Elizabeth asked.

"What are they're names," called another settler.

"Lauryn, Keith, and the child she carries is Bethie!" called Rodney suddenly, realizing this was all a game, and maybe if he lied he could save his neck.

"You lie!" yelled the leader.

"We don't lie!" returned John as he looked around hesitantly.

"Please, sir, you must understand, my people did not know that they were trespassing on your world. We thought perhaps you could help us. We understand now you cannot, and we just want to all return home, preferably with that man," Elizabeth said pointing to Rodney.

"What about our gods?" cried one woman in the crowd.

"Listen to me," Carson suddenly interjected, "you can't kill people just to keep the gods happy. Think about it, you are killing innocent people. How could that possibly make the gods happy? Having their own people die just for them."

"Then why do we flourish such?" asked another man.

"Because…because your gods are forgiving. They understand you just want to keep them happy, so they forgive you for such killings, and help you anyway," returned John smiling gently.

"You speak the truth, this man is your husband?" spoke another man from the crowd.

"He is my husband. I love him very deeply, as do our children," she lied, but trying to sound as honest as she could.

"Very well, you may take him…but do not return to this planet," the man said suddenly as he shoved Rodney towards the team.

John quickly stepped towards his brother and caught him, before he could land on the ground and hurt himself. With Rodney safely in his arms, Elizabeth nodded a thanks and they quickly turned.

"Please untie me," whispered Rodney.

"Come here lad." Carson took out a knife and carefully cut the ropes on his friend's wrists.

"Rod, now this is just a suggestion, don't listen to everything a woman tells you," John grinned as he wrapped an arm around his brother's shoulder.

"Oh, sod off," mumbled Rodney as John and Ronan chuckled. Rodney dropped back a couple of feet to where Elizabeth, Teyla and Carson were walking, "Thank you Liz," he whispered.

Smiling Elizabeth slipped her arm around his waist, "Any time. But this of course means one day you're going to have to make an honest woman out of me. Not today, but someday," she smiled.

Grinning he pressed a kiss to her head. "One day Eliza, one day," he replied. With that the six friends made their way back to Atlantis, another disaster averted, another day of life on Atlantis, and many more fun times ahead.


	52. War Crimes

A/N: Ah another busy and yet very annoying week at college is nearly coming to an end. Thanks for sticking through it all with me. This is my take on Ronan not so much retuning to his homeworld, but to the world mentioned in Trinity by his friend. Anyway hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it. Thanks to NebbyJ who edits and grammarizes my stories, without her...they definately would still be as bad as the earlier chapters. :) Hopefull over this summer I can edit some of the earlier chapters myself and repost them. Until then however. So please enjoy and review :)

Chapter Fifty-Two: War Crimes

"So, how ya feelin', Ronan?" John asked as he finished strapping on his pack.

The large man looked over at his friend and shrugged. He wasn't the type to openly show emotion, and he had no desire to start now. They were going to Manaria, where many people from Setedia were rumored to have gone. Uncomfortable at the thought, considering what had happened the first time he'd encountered those from his homeworld, he would never admit to how nervous he was to see his people. "I'm fine. Can we go now?" he said firmly.

"Snappy. Dial up the gate guys!" John called, grinning back at Elizabeth and her fellow scientists.

"You have a go, John. Be safe," Elizabeth replied as she nodded to them in return.

o0o

The world was beautiful. With the gate situated near the city, people were hustling and bustling around as if they were just like the rest of the universe. The planet probably wasn't the most advanced in…well the galaxy, but they certainly didn't seem to notice. Ronan smiled as he looked on his people, it felt good to be home…or at least on a world where he might recognize someone.

Although, there was also another feeling on the planet, a different feeling. He couldn't help but notice that while he was happy to be "home", he didn't feel at home.

"Still wanna do this, big guy?" John asked casually as though this wasn't the hardest decision in the world.

However, for Ronan it was, and he knew what Atlantis was risking by allowing him to go. He knew that they found him valuable and that they wanted to keep him, but John had made the offer, and was serious about it. The only way Ronan would stay was if he knew Atlantis was where he was meant to be, and for that, he had to try to at least return to his people.

"I have to do this, Sheppard," he said confidently. He felt John clap him on the back.

"I know. Just wanted to make sure my Chewy was still in there and hadn't suddenly turned hide to run," the colonel said with a grin.

Ronan looked over at the man and offered a small smile; he appreciated his friend's support. Hell, having Teyla, and even Rodney, here to support him through whatever he was about to face took him by surprise. "I'm ready, come on."

They stepped into the natural movement of the crowd, and occasionally John caught some of the odd looks thrown at his team from the surrounding people. He tried not to show them any attention, hoping it was just the surprise of seeing an old friend. However, when he felt his younger brother elbow him in the ribs rather ungracefully, John realized he couldn't ignore this much longer. "What?" he hissed at Rodney.

"Uh, the looks, dear brother, are one thing, but there's a couple guys over there by that cute little bakery that look ready to pounce," Rodney whispered back as he tried to be inconspicuous with his pointing. Sadly he didn't succeed very well and several looked in the direction he indicated.

"Great, well, just try to act natural," John replied quietly under his breath.

"Uh…John, we're not dressed anything like these people, it's not like we naturally blend in."

"Right…I didn't say blend in, I said act natural: something that seems to be complicated for you."

While they had been baiting one another, they didn't notice the two goons that approached their small group of four. And, because of their inattention they practically ran right into poor Teyla, who simply shot them a glare that nearly rivaled one of Rodney's famous glares.

"Specialist Ronan Dex," greeted one man with a sneering tone.

"Caleb, nice to see you," Ronan gritted through his teeth.

"I feel you should come with us Ronan," the other man urged, his order however seemed softer, perhaps more sorrow-felt.

"Where?"

"To see Panos," goon number one snapped.

"No. Why would I want to see him?"

"Ronan, please don't make this harder than it has to be, he's already got a bounty on your head. If you come quietly, maybe he'll let you off free, or maybe he'll at least let you live."

"Let me live? What?" If people hadn't been paying attention before, they certainly were now as all eyes fell on the angry Setedian and the two guards.

"Ah, Ronan, could you keep it down? People are staring," John hissed in a whisper, his hands slowly rising to the pistol at his side.

"Ronan, perhaps we should do as these men say." Teyla made the calm suggestion as she noticed some people becoming angry in the crowd.

Squaring his shoulders, Ronan turned and looked at them for a moment. When he saw the look in Sheppard's eyes, he knew he would listen to Teyla. Shooting daggers back at the men, he nodded. "Let's go."

They followed the two guards who led them into one of the far buildings across town.

Ronan looked around and shook his head in disgust. Before he could voice his own thoughts he heard Rodney whisper it behind him, "Amazing how this Panos lives like a god while everyone else lives on the streets, looking poor, dirty and well…smelly."

He grinned at this, Rodney was correct. It hadn't always been this way. However, Rodney had an amazing way of putting things into perspective for everyone, and usually he tended to be correct.

"Thank you Rodney for that…picture," mumbled John as he shook his head and grinned.

"Guards, why are you not…oh….my Ronan," a woman who was just walking out of a nearby door stopped and looked at the tall man staring back at her. Her face was full of seriousness, however she didn't say anymore.

"Leena," Ronan replied stoically.

"Guards, leave us," she ordered.

"But Le…" one of the guards began.

"I said leave us!" she hissed. She waited until the two guards disappeared before looking back at Ronan, "You should not be here, you are not safe."

"What are you doing here? You're no safer here than I am; Panos…has done bad things."

"I know that Ronan, but he employees me, and as much as I may not like it at times, or like him, he's our leader. He is a terrible man, and we've learned that your stories are true. You shouldn't have come here."

"What has Panos done?"

"He kills those he used to work with; he has them convicted of war crimes. Ronan he has the highest bounty upon your head. He says the only way for you to pay for your wrong doings is to die. You cannot stay here."

"Where else would you have me go, Leena?"

"Wherever it was that you were."

Not about to be run off, he scowled. "I will face Panos."

"Ronan you mustn't, I can lose my job. Truly I don't mind, but I cannot watch you die at the hands of those who have known you all your life."

"Leena, I will not let him kill you for letting me go. If he wishes to face me like the true man he is…then he shall. Take me to him."

Leena's dark chocolate eyes looked over the teammates, then, finally she nodded, "Very well."

She led them further down the hall into another chamber. It was a large, and a single man with greasy raven hair sat at a desk. Hearing footsteps approach, he looked up from whatever he was working on and his gaze landed on Ronan and his team.

"Specialist Ronan Dex," sneered the man as he eyed them with contempt through his onyx black eyes. "How nice to finally see you again, and you're looking well."

"Panos, still trying to run everyone's life into the ground?" Ronan remarked snidely.

"You realize I have you for a bounty on sixteen worlds? You're the most wanted man alive, currently. And yet, here you stand before me. What would you do if you were in my shoes?"

Ronan just glared at the man, not giving him the satisfaction he so obviously was looking for. The man called Panos continued, "Very well then, lock him up!"

"Whoa! Wait a damn minute here!" John suddenly countered.

"Sheppard," rumbled Ronan's warning tone.

"No way, you haven't done anything. What the hell is he accusing you of?"

"War crimes and treason!" growled Panos.

"Hey buddy…" began John again.

"Sheppard," growled Ronan louder, "this is my fight!"

Panos grunted out a maniacal laugh as he watched two of the guards enter, "Take him to a cell, the trial begins at high noon tomorrow."

"What?" Teyla and Rodney yelled.

"You three would do well to leave, you do not belong on this world. You never should have come. Now go home."

"Now you wait one damn minute!" John began to move towards Panos. However, two more guards intercepted him, their fists punching him right in the gut, bringing him down to his knees. Teyla and Rodney instantly moved over to flank their team leader.

"Who is to represent Specialist Dex?" Rodney called out suddenly.

Panos' narrow eyes landed on McKay, making the scientist shift uncomfortably, as he appeared to consider the question. "Would you be volunteering?" he asked.

"Yes, if it means we can stay here, yes."

"Rodney," John hissed out in pain.

"I know what I'm doing."

"Very well, you are his benefactor. But I should warn you, many do not like Dex, they will not see kindly to what he has done."

"Yeah about that…what did he do?"

"He brought the Wraith to our city."

o0o

Ronan looked at his three friends and sighed from behind the bars of his cell, "Don't try to save me, your efforts will only get you killed."

"Yeah, well, we're not going to just stand by and watch you…"

"You're not going to fight this, and that's an order, Sheppard," Ronan stated, looking at the man with his hard dark eyes. "Atlantis needs you, that means you have to be careful. I'll be fine, I can handle myself."

"Oh, and where you're standing instills so much confidence in me," John retorted.

"Ronan, we must do something. Is there nothing we can do to convince the people of your world that it was another man who brought the Wraith upon them?" Teyla asked.

"These people don't care about justice, Teyla; they want revenge, a scapegoat for all the deaths that have occurred to their loved ones. If you had a chance to kill the wraith that stole your father's life, would you not kill him?"

Teyla was silent as she looked at him sternly; she knew deep down inside that she would kill the Wraith. "There must be someone," she finally managed.

"When I traveled among the worlds, running from the Wraith, I heard of this world, I also heard of the people on the outskirts of town, try to find a man named Dariees, if he still lives, he can help me."

"All right, at least that's something. Meanwhile you be careful too, Atlantis needs you."

"Don't worry Sheppard," Ronan replied calmly.

"It's my job to worry."

Teyla offered Ronan and Rodney a warm smile before they turned and left the two men alone in the large room. Ronan sighed and pressed his face against the cold metal bars.

"Ronan, I'm no lawyer, but I know how this works. I need you to tell me everything for starters, if people are going to listen to you, then they need to begin by hearing the truth."

"It was supposed to be a quiet night…the Wraith had left, we were just supposed to try and relax that evening, I had been injured and was ordered bed rest, my superior took over my guard for me that night. The Wraith came, none of us ever saw it coming, Dariees and I, we were right next to each other, I remember him looking over at me and asking me if he had heard anything about more Wraith coming, he said no. One single Wraith had gotten into the city, within minutes they were swarming everywhere."

"So your leader…at the time he was the one who allowed the Wraith in that evening?"

"Yes."

"Where is he now?"

"He's Panos."

Rodney blanched, "My god, are you serious?"

"Dead serious, Rodney."

"All right, well we'll do our best, but essentially your people are the ones who will decide your fate, and guilt or innocence."

"I know."

"I'll need to go and speak with Panos and some of his men."

"McKay, they're a bad bunch. But there's one, Panos' right had man, or woman as it is….she is my sister, Leena. She changed her last name to protect herself, no doubt. However she will listen to you."

"Right, don't worry Ronan; we'll get you out of this."

o0o

"Excuse me, I am looking for a man named Dariees. Have you ever heard of such a man?" Teyla asked as she and John made their way through the busy outskirts of the city.

"I may know of this man you speak of. Why?" came one man's voice. They looked down to see a slightly haggard looking individual sitting on the ground, holding what looked like a bottle of alcohol to John.

"We need to speak with him; he may be able to save a friend of our friend's life. It is important."

"Depends who the friend is."

"His name is Dex," John finally spoke up.

The older man's eyes lit up within seconds of hearing the name and he smiled. "Specialist Ronan Dex?" the man asked as he slowly stood.

"That is the one. Please, can you tell us where this Dariees is?"

"You're speaking to him, though most people call me Reese. Dex was the only one to ever call me by the full name. I haven't spoken or seen Dex in nearly eight years. Is he alive?"

"Not for long. Look is there somewhere else we could talk privately?" John asked glancing around the street.

"Certainly, follow me."

o0o

Leena sat at a small desk in an office just outside of Panos' office; no one really had access to either place, so she was beyond a little surprised when one of Ronan's people stepped into the room. She opened her mouth to call for help, when he placed his finger to his lips, shushing her and pointing to the gun in the holster. Taking it out, he moved closer and laid it on her desk. "We need to talk," he said quietly.

Leena eyed the gun and then the man. Deciding quickly he was indeed a friend, and no foe, she nodded. "Very well, the walls are sound proof. Please have a seat."

"Thanks." He sat down and studied her for a moment. "Look, Ronan told me some things and he believes you are the only person who can help him right now. And at the moment, I'm starting to agree. If you can help your brother, you have to tell me."

"That's where your wrong sir, I don't have to help anyone. The only reason I'm listening to you is because you were dumb enough to put your gun on my desk. Didn't anyone ever tell you that you're an idiot? By the way, how did you get in here?"

"Lady, I'm a genius. I built a nuclear war head when I was twelve. Really it's not that complicated to get through a system like yours. Seriously though, do you really want to see your brother die?"

"I don't want to see anyone die, it's not I who condemns innocent people to death."

"Yes, but you stand by and allow it. Are you willing to stand by now, when it's your brother's life on the line, and allow him to die?"

"I have not seen him in many years, and even before then he was less of a brother than he was a father…"

"Leena, he wouldn't have sent me to ask for your help if he didn't believe you would be at least willing to try and help him."

"Panos was not always a bad man. He was captured by the Wraith as a young teenager, they did terrible things to him…"

"Now he's the one doing terrible things. Don't just stand by and let this happen to your people, Leena, they are you're people too. Please, there must be something that you can do that will help us. Even if you don't need your brother, we do. He is a valuable member of our team."

"Who are you in the first place? You people just showed up."

Starting to have a lot of dialog here and little description. Maybe you could add some.

"We're…we originally came from the Ancient city, until it was destroyed. There are just a few of us that remain, we need your help. Please Leena, give me something…anything."

"Very well, we will help you. I know of a few that do not like Panos and feel he is ruling with a heavy hand."

"Thank you," Rodney stood up to leave; he had his hand on the door.

"Hey genius," she called as she held up the gun.

"Oh, yeah…sorry," grinning he took the gun from her and snuck out of the room, in hopes no one would see him.

"Hey aren't you one of Ronan's friends?" came a voice from just outside the door.

"Shit," Rodney muttered as he took off flying down the hall, quickly followed by the guard. He wasn't looking ahead when he ran head long into what he assume was another guard, and landed flat on his back.

"Runt ain't he!" grinned another man. Four now formed a ring around the scientist in the center of the court yard.

"Let me go, come on guys!" Rodney whined, hoping his brother would come soon and rescue him like he usually did.

"What are you doing here runt?" asked on of the men as they scooped him up off the ground.

"Nothing," lied Rodney.

o0o

John and Teyla were making their way back from the outskirts of town when they heard the commotion. "Sounds like a bunch of teenagers fighting," John mumbled.

"Rodney," Teyla said looking at John.

"No doubt. Let's go see what the idiot genius has gotten himself into this time."

They broke into a run and came upon the fight just in time to see Rodney hit one of the guards, then go down under another flailing fist.

"Whoa! Whoa!" John called as he grabbed his brother and lifted him off the ground, "Easy slugger," he said grinning, as he apologetically looked up at the four goons.

"Look guys, I'm sorry, my friend here goes a little crazy sometimes. Come on Roddy, it's time to take your medicine." John didn't say another word as he dragged his half coherent brother from the scene before the guards could respond.

"I had it handled," muttered Rodney as he tore his arm away from his brother's grip, grunting as pain seared through his shoulder and right up to his bruised jaw.

"Sure you did. Come on slugger, we've got some help we'd like you to meet. And I think maybe we should get you back to Atlantis for at least tonight, let Carson take a look at you." John smiled as he slung an arm around his brother's shoulder, "You've got a mean right cross baby brother, remind me to not get on your bad side." John and Teyla grinned as Rodney simply glared.

o0o

"This may sting a bit," Carson muttered as he began to swab at the cut just above Rodney's eye with the iodine.

"Ouch!" hissed Rodney as he tried to bat Carson's hand away, however John quickly held the bruising knuckles stead fast.

"You're sure you can get Ronan out of this?" Elizabeth asked, eyeing her team.

"We've got quite a few willing to help us. Although they're afraid of what might happen if an uprising were to occur, there are enough of them that they feel they can take Panos down, as long as they're all in it together."

"What about people on the inside? We can't afford to have everyone against the government and suddenly watch innocent people die."

"No, we've got a few on the inside as well, including Panos' right had person. I think we can get the people to listen to us."

"Damn it, Carson! Ow!" Rodney hissed again, attempting to pull his head away, which only brought Carson's hand around to hold it firmly in place.

"Well if you would stop trying to play with the boys that are bigger than ye, stupid git."

"You wanna go!" Rodney suddenly bit as Carson applied a somewhat nasty jab of the cotton swab on a deep part of the cut.

"Easy, Ali," John growled.

"Would you sit still and be a big boy for one moment, please," Carson glowered.

"Will he be okay?" Elizabeth asked finally.

"Oh yes, his cracked skull will heal just fine," muttered Carson.

"Carson," Elizabeth said warningly.

"Aye, two stitches on this wee cut here, some ice on that pretty purple bruise on his jaw, and a heavy dose of Vicodin for the night, he'll be good as new tomorrow and complaining up a storm."

"Thank you!" Rodney snapped.

"Okay, boys, that's enough. Don't make me separate you two," Elizabeth replied, trying to hold her grin back.

"Sorry," mumbled Rodney as he tried to relax and allow Carson to finish stitching him up.

"Don't look at me, I'm the doctor, I'm always right," Carson replied surly as he glared at his patient.

o0o

Their trials were very similar to the setup of those on Earth. Rodney sat at a large table right beside Ronan, while John and Teyla were outside the courtyard rounding up the people for the fight back.

"Tell the people what it is you have done, Specialist Dex!" called Panos grinning wildly.

"I have done nothing! Panos is your man! You have heard the rumors he spoke, you have heard rumors he has started! He is the man who has betrayed you repeatedly to the Wraith."

"Liar!" yelled Panos.

"Why should we believe you?" spoke one man from the crowd that had developed in the gallery.

"You shouldn't!" came another voice. Everyone turned to see Leena standing there, "However, I am the right hand of your king, and I tell you here, now, Dex is not the liar. Panos is the traitor, he has profited from telling the Wraith where we live! He no longer needs to yield great power over you. Every day we allow him to control our lives, but no more! How many lives have you seen him take for treasonous acts no one has ever witnessed? How many rumors have you heard brought on by Panos! Do not allow him to condemn another life!" she called as she stepped up to the front of the court room. "How long before it is your life, or the life of a loved one he tries to kill."

"Do not listen to her! She lies!" yelled Panos. However it was far too late for him, the thoughts were now engrained in everyone's mind.

"If not to her, then perhaps me. I was once respected before Panos threw me out of his city, exiled to never be seen again! Allow me to tell you the truth; I was there when he was captured the first time, and the second. Even now he makes a similar deal with them. We will be culled again, we cannot stop it from happening. If you all wish to die, you can go on listening to Panos. Or you can try to fight back!"

The court was in an uproar, everyone yelling and screaming in fear or anger. Ronan looked over at Rodney, who was slowly taking out his pistol. "Don't worry, we're getting you out of here," whispered Rodney. Ronan nodded.

Rodney, John, Ronan, and Teyla remained for another few days until things began to settle down. After several hours of deliberation and choices by the people, Panos was exiled to live out the remainder of his life on another planet. It had been considerably harsh, however everyone had agreed to it, so that was his decided fate.

"Are you sure you must go?" Leena asked as she looked up at her brother.

He smiled and shrugged. "I've been away for nearly eight years, you won't miss me, believe me. Don't worry, I'm always come back when you need me. Just open the gate and send this transmission, and let us know what you need. We can help you in any way. You guys are on your way to being a free world, just be careful okay," Ronan said gently.

"I will, thank you for all of your help," Leena said, smiling as she wrapped her arms around her brother's neck.

"You're welcome. Take care of your people now, Leena, you're their leader," he said pressing a kiss to her forehead.

Smiling Ronan joined his three friends and teammates, and with a final look back they headed to the gate. "So Rodney, John told me about the fight. Are you the new title weight champion?" he grinned as he gently pushed his friend into John.

Rodney rolled his eyes and groaned, "Funny ha ha. Did John tell you about wrestling? Very cute, I will get you back for this."

Until The Next Time


	53. The Long Goodbye

Author's Note: So NebbyJ has been editing all my chapters recently, she didn't do this one, simply because it'sa quickie and I thought maybe I could do it myself. Anyway so here's my go, probably a shotty job at fixing the grammar but leave me on anyway :) Happy Reading!

Chapter Fifty-Three: A Long Goodbye

Elizabeth groaned as she slowly opened her eyes, "good morning!" an all too cheerful voice awakened her further. She opened her eyes further, pausing then suddenly looked over at John, who never even glanced at her. She suddenly felt her face flush, she was mortified.

"Morning," she mumbled a reply as she closed her eyes against the waves of embarrassment, had she really kissed him. 'Oh God, Rodney must know by now…Rodney…oh I shot him!' she realized.

"What's-her-name sure hung around for awhile," Sheppard offered before Elizabeth could think another word.

"When did she…um?

"Sometime in the middle of the night, kicking and screaming from what I hear," he replied.

She glanced over at him again, he was still working on his little blackberry. "Yeah, well, that was…the strangest feeling, you know? The entire time I was shouting at everyone, but nothing I wanted would come out of my mouth," she whispered in reply. She hated the feeling of being out of control, it was so natural for her to have everything under her control when the time was called for…this had been one of those times that she should have been in control.

"I know, it was a real nightmare…especially when you shot Ronan."

"Oh God…But I wasn't…" she closed her eyes, feeling tears beginning to well up all too quickly, she'd shot Ronan, and Rodney who else was there…she couldn't remember

"I know. I know. It was her," John offered.

"How is he?" she whispered her eyes still closed.

"He's fine. Teyla and Rodney just went to see him in post-op."

"Did they believe you were…you?"

"To be honest I think the only people who believe one hundred percent are Beckett…and…."

"Me," a voice interrupted them.

Elizabeth instantly opened her eyes to see Caldwell strolling in he smiled gently at both at them. He came over to Elizabeth's side, reaching down he squeezed her hand softly, "In fact, I can safely say I know how you feel," he smiled sadly.

"Yes sir!" John said with enthusiasm, glad they weren't the only ones dying of embarrassment. Although, he had a fairly good feeling there were two other people on this base who understood what it was like to not be in control of your body.

"Thank you, Colonel – for keeping a potentially explosive situation under control!" Elizabeth spoke looking at him, they had become friends over such a short period of time, she suddenly wasn't sure what she'd do without him, granted he could be as annoying as anyone, but he was a blessing as well at times.

"Yeah well, it was a lot closer than I would like to admit," Caldwell reasoned shrugging.

"For what it's worth, Rodney says you did a good job," John offered smiling at his friend. While Caldwell might not show it, like everyone else, he appreciated a compliment when it came from said source, especially since they tended to be few and far between.

"Did he…well maybe there's hope for me yet," chuckled Caldwell.

"Oh God! No, please don't believe anything she said," mumbled Elizabeth again as she covered her face.

Caldwell chuckled and gently removed her hands from her face, "I'm kidding Elizabeth; don't give it another thought. Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm sure you'll both agree that the paperwork on this one is going to be a nightmare…especially that kiss."

"Yes sir," muttered John.

"Actually Colonel…could you possibly leave that part out…"

"I think most people already believe you and John are up to something, don't worry I won't tell a soul…Well, try not to kill each other while I'm gone," with that the Colonel left them alone.

Elizabeth cast a glance at Elizabeth, before her cheeks began to burn again, she slid down in the bed and turned on her side away from him, suddenly feeling unable to face him every again.

o0o

She awoke to silence, however she felt a gentle hand running through her hair, and something lying at her side. She was stunned when she woke up to see Lauryn curled up in her arms, sucking her thumb, and Rodney leaning over them both, gently running his hands through Elizabeth's soft hair.

"How long have I been out?" she mumbled as she looked down at the beautiful angelic face.

"Few hours…not too long…Sheppard was released about twenty minutes ago after Carson did another check over him…Carson said as soon as you woke up he'd do the same for you," Rodney smiled gently.

"Oh god, I shot you…I shot Ronan too," she closed her eyes again.

"Hey, you stunned me…and you were not in possession of your faculties at the time, consider it forgiven, as for shooting Ronan…I think he almost finds it an honor to be taken out by you…kinda creepy actually. Elizabeth don't worry, no one is mad," he said smiling as he pressed a kiss to her temple.

"Can't I just hide out somewhere for awhile?" she whimpered.

"Well you're welcome to hide out in my room for as long as you'd like, that would probably stop the rumors about you and the Colonel," grinned Rodney.

"Oh this is a nightmare," Elizabeth mumbled as she suddenly pulled the sheet above her head.

"Eliza, sweetheart, stop it," Rodney said pulling the sheet back down, as though he was talking to his daughter instead of his best friend, "no one cares, okay it's was a bad situation…so what, it's over you have to get up and get over it. How many times have you told me that, huh?"

"Several," she replied in a mutter as she gently began to run her own hand through little Lauryn's hair.

"Then trust me," he whispered.

"I don't want to go yet Rodney, please…" she whispered.

"You might be Carson's first patient that begged to stay. Come here," he gently helped Elizabeth move over to the other side of the infirmary bed, while they were small, they were slightly larger than the usual beds, perfect for this. Kicking off his shoes and losing his jacket, Rodney pulled the sheets back and slipped between them, so that they cradled each side of their little girl, "I love you," Rodney whispered as he looked at Elizabeth.

"How can you not be angry?" she muttered.

"Because truthfully there will be a day when I have far more energy to waste on arguing with you about far more important matters, this, my love, is not one of them. Now go to sleep, you need the rest, I'll be here when you wake."

"I love you too…I just feel like I total screw up right now."

"Believe me Elizabeth, I completely understand how you feel, in the being possessed manner, and the screw up manner…close your eyes, and sleep."

Elizabeth did as she was told, falling asleep beside the two people she loved more than anything in the entire world. They would worry later about how to solve any problems that came up, for now her world was reduced to two single people, Lauryn and Rodney, the man who had willingly allowed her to adopt this little girl as _theirs _instead of his.

o0o

It was a week later when Elizabeth, John, Teyla, Ronan, Carson, Rodney and Caldwell all gathered in the briefing room, the doors were sealed, and everyone had a serious look on their faces.

Ronan was still looking a little under the weather, but he seemed to be hanging in there. Carson looked sure of himself, while Teyla looked embarrassed, John wasn't in his usual position beside her or Elizabeth, in fact he was sitting beside Caldwell and Carson. Rodney however, sat between the two women, as though stating he trusted Elizabeth with everything he had, which was probably true.

"First off…I'd like to make this statement clear and concise…I apologize for…everything I did while under the influence of Phebus, you have to believe me when I say I was screaming the entire time…however that's not why we're here… Rodney has devised a way…so that no single person can any longer control the entire city…I think it's the best precaution…also, I'd like it to be known that from this point on when we decide to resuscitate people from stasis…that there be at least four armed guards at each entrance and exit from the room, that is to shoot any person on sight who attempts to leave, only to harm, not to kill, but still. I also think it's important that from now on when we do decide to wake them…we have them hooked up to an IV or something that can pump a type of sedation into their veins…we can't afford to do this again…I think you all agree," she spoke looking around.

Somehow she felt stronger when Rodney placed his hand against her thigh, she was pleased when everyone nodded around the table. "Also…Colonel Caldwell, I appreciate your immediate command of this situation, more than you know…" Caldwell smiled for a moment, but it was instantly shattered by her next words, "however…I still cannot deny the fact that this city isn't your jurisdiction, I'm not saying you were wrong…so this is how we're going to set this up, if for any reason Major Sheppard or I are compromised again, Dr. McKay and Teyla will take immediate control over the system and divide the duties from there."

"Now wait a damn…" Caldwell began to argue, but was rapidly cut off by her again.

"I'm sorry Colonel, but you have to understand this, you were host to a gou'ld, we hosted aliens, it's going to take a while for any trust to be regained. The truth is, that under pervious rules before you ever arrived here, that was one rule agreed upon and implemented a long time ago. I am in charge, followed by John then Rodney and Teyla, finally landing on Carson and Ronan. We do this diplomatically, just because you come in here with guns blazing doesn't give you the right to immediately take over, and I would also like to make this part one hundred percent clear: what Dr. McKay or Dr. Beckett say from here on out…goes, end of story. They are my foremost experts in their area, if Rodney says he's fixing it and that it will take time, you are not to bother him until he says other wise, you are not to push him around or threaten him in anyway, nor Carson. If that falls to anyone then it can fall to Ronan or Teyla, it's not your place Caldwell."

"So your basically saying nice job...but your way out of your league?" Caldwell said in sudden anger.

"No, I'm saying you did well, and should the need arise again, you and the Daedalus are welcome to help, but only under the direction of Teyla or Rodney. I don't expect anything like this to ever be a problem again however."

"Fine," Caldwell replied like a spoilt child with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

"Good…therefore I have one final request, Rodney, Carson based on your opinion do you see it fit and in our best interest to remove the gas?"

Carson smiled softly, "I think we can find another way to put out fires…aye without killing everyone."

"I agree, I already have Zelenka and Miko working on finding anything in the Ancient Archives."

"Very well, in that case, Rodney I'd like you take immediate action to have it safely removed from the system and taken some where it won't harm anyone."

"Done," Rodney complied.

"Excellent, John…according to Carson, we're back to active duty…I'm reinstating you," she said as she stood up, walking over to him she handed him his 9mm.

"Thanks, I guess I can reinstate you too," he replied, standing up her pulled her into a quick hug, "I'm sorry," he whispered softly.

o0o

"I do not believe Colonel Caldwell was very pleased," Teyla spoke through a puff of air as she swung at John's feet with the sticks.

"No…he certainly didn't seem too happy…Teyla, stop for a minute," he whispered.

"Are you all right?" she asked suddenly worried.

"I'm fine…come here," he gently grabbed her hand, then swung his other hand past the controls for the door, closing it. Drawing her over to the seat by the window he gently sat her down, "look…a lot of things have happened in the past…well few weeks that have started me really thinking."

"John…I am sorry…" she looked down suddenly.

"Sorry about what?" John asked, lost as to what she could possibly be apologizing for.

"I almost shot you," she replied softly. She was surprised when she felt a soft hand under her chin. Her face was lifted to meet his and he smiled softly at her, stroking her cheek with his thumb.

"There was very little that Thalen said…that could be considered true…however there was one thing he did mention, that is absolutely true. He was right, Teyla I do care for you a very great deal…more than you may ever know or understand."

"Colonel…"

"John," he whispered as he smiled softly at her.

"John…we should not…I…" she sighed, then met his beautiful hazel eyes again, "I care for you…but is there not some type of rule about this?"

"Probably…but I've never been a big on rules personally," without hesitation John leaned in, and suddenly found his lips meeting hers. His other hand slipped up to her cheek, pulling her close, and he was surprised when her hands wrapped around the back of his head.

Teyla smiled as she finally drew away, her hands gently stroking his stubbled cheek, "I also care for you a great deal…so much perhaps…John I could not have killed you…I cherish every moment I spend with you."

"I…I love you," he whispered softly as he leaned in again and stole another kiss from her soft lips.

"And I you," she replied when they parted, offering him a gentle smile.

Until the Next Time


	54. Coup D'Etat

Author's Note: Good epsiode...hoping I do the ending more justice than they did. This chapter has a very important moment in it, I think you'll see it...it's towards the end, anyway I'm going to have some fun with this :) Let me know what you think!

Chapter Fifty-Four: Coup D'Etat

"How about we just call it a day then?" grinned John as he eyed his closest friend for a moment.

Elizabeth nodded, "now that we can do…John, how's Rodney holding up?"

"Fine I imagine…why?" John inquired suddenly confused if he had missed something.

Elizabeth simply shrugged, "no reason…have a good evening Colonel," she offered watching him leave. She waited for him to leave then looked back down at her data pad, with a deep breath she shook her head, trying to refocus her attention, but she had one thing on her mind, and that was her favorite scientist.

o0o

She knew where to find him, it wasn't like he kept it a secret from the world. Any of his closest friends knew that he went to the balcony just south of his room, to hide out for a couple hours, recollect his thoughts.She stepped out onto the balcony and gasped at the sight, before her the sun was just beginning to set over the beautiful ocean, casting a stunning array of pinks, oranges and reds through the sky and against the ocean.

Rodney must have heard her gasp, he turned to eye her and smiled softly, reaching out his hand he gestured for her to come. She slowly moved toward the balcony edge, a grin spread across her face as he wrapped an arm around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder, threading his fingers through hers. He remained silent as the two watched the sun slowly begin it's decent into what seemed like to ocean.

Elizabeth almost expected smoke to rise from the ocean where it looked like the sun was meeting water. She grinned when she felt a kiss to her neck, and then another, he was beginning a rampage and for once she wasn't sure she wanted to stop him completely.

"Are you all right?" she asked softly as she lifted her head to give him further access to her throat.

"I'm fine," he replied as he turned her face into his, capturing her lips in a strong and passionate kiss.

She instantly melted into his body, he made her weak. She turned completely into his arms, sunset forgotten as she wrapped her arms around his neck, embracing the sudden make out session he was deciding to engage in.

When he finally pulled away they were both left gasping for breath, "I love you," he whispered as he pressed his forehead against her's.

"I love you too…so tell me the truth, are you really okay?" she whispered, dipping in for another quick kiss.

"I'm getting there…I was terrified Liz…I haven't seen the Genii for…well…" he shook his head, she understood how long it had been, but she also knew it still felt painful to him.

"I'm so sorry," she replied gently, reaching out and stroking his cheek gently, smiling as she felt stubble there. "You've got a five o'clock shadow…way past its prime," she mumbled with a grin.

"Uh huh," he captured her lips again, deepening the kiss he pulled her closer, as if to reassure himself that she was truly here with him. He pulled away and looked at her, then suddenly he pulled her into a hug.

Elizabeth smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck, his own arms sliding around his waist as he lifted her slightly off her feet, bringing them to the same height as he met her lips yet again. "You're beautiful," he whispered between chaste kisses.

"Are you going to be okay?" she asked, remaining close to him.

Rodney nodded slowly, almost thinking about what he would say, "I will be…stay with me tonight…"

"Rodney I…"

"No," Rodney quickly corrected, "nothing funny…just, stay with me tonight…help me realize I'm safe?"

Elizabeth looked into his eyes, as though looking for reassurance that he didn't want to mess around, but that he simply needed company. Finally she nodded, she would remain with him for as long as he needed the company he requested. "Of course I'll stay," she replied gently. "I was terrified…I couldn't get it out of my mind that I'd sent you to your death," she whispered.

"I would have gotten us out Lizzie…I swear…I will never, ever leave you…unless I physically am not capable of coming for you. I'll always be here," it was a promise they both knew he couldn't keep, but for now, it was a promise they both wanted to hold onto.

o0o

Rodney sighed as he pulled Elizabeth closer to him, they lay in his bed, she was curled up against his stomach; having sung to their little girl, she was already fast asleep in his arms. He squeezed her for a moment, allowing time to revel in the feeling of her in his arms. He needed reformation that she was still here, that he was still alive and not back on some planet with the Genii, waiting for the nuclear bomb to explode and wipe them all out. He wouldn't sleep for days, he knew it, as much as he didn't want to admit it, the nightmares would return. It had been one of the many reasons he'd asked Elizabeth to stay with him tonight.

John had been correct, they could count this one as some sort of victory among Atlantis, however…Rodney knew it wasn't over. There was still a chance Koyla was alive, still a chance that someone would try another Coup and take the Genii back over. He felt Elizabeth's hand glide over his and slip in between the two hands he had placed against her stomach. "Go to sleep Rodney," she mumbled as she slipped off to sleep again.

Rodney took a deep breath, leaning against Elizabeth's shoulder, he continued contact with Elizabeth, while with the other hand he gently caressed his daughter's hair, before finally drifting off to sleep, acceptance not far away.

o0o

John slid onto the stool beside his brother early the next morning. He'd found Rodney tinkering around in his lab, and decided it was time to tell Rodney something he'd been holding off on recently. He looked down at whatever Rodney was working on, it was easy to guess the scientist wasn't really busy, but trying to distract himself while he waited for John to say something, "you remember when we were kids...you'd only been with us for a few months...and you started having those nightmares about your dad? I remember this one night... when you woke up from a really bad one...and dad came hurrying into your room...and for...well the first time really...you allowed dad to give you the comfort you needed…I mean normally it was mom who held you after your nightmares…comforted us when we were sick…but that was one time when…when it was obvious that you needed a dad instead of the usual mother comfort…Anyway…I remember waking up shortly after you and dad moved into the kitchen…and I remember him telling you something…"

"Nightmares are illusions of what we really fear in life," mumbled Rodney.

"Yeah…and you know pop, he was a pretty smart guy…but he was right. Your dreams are illusions of a reality you're living. Anyway I'm no fool…I know you're going to have nightmares after this whole thing…and I suppose part of that is my fault…I dragged you into the whole situation kicking and screaming…you made it pretty obvious that you were a little freaked out…with good reason. Not to mention we have reason to believe that Koyla is still alive…I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you ever need a friend or even a brother…I'm here," John offered softly.

"I'll survive to tell the tale," replied Rodney as he continued tinkering.

"What's really going on Rod?" John questioned knowingly.

"Elizabeth stayed with me last night…"

"Whoa…did you uh…you know?"

"No…it was completely innocent, but it got me thinking," he mumbled.

"Uh…is this going to enter the realm of too much information?"

Rodney rolled his eyes and suddenly stuck his hand in his coat pocket, seconds later he set a tiny velvet box on the desk. John's eyes narrowed on it, he knew immediately what it was and was surprised to say the least. "Wow…uh…you shouldn't have," joked John, trying to lighten his brother's mood.

Rodney rolled his eyes, "I knew I should have told Carson!" hissed Rodney as he went to grab the box.

John immediately stopped him, grabbing the box he flipped it open and smiled at the beautiful three diamond ring that sat inside, it was beautiful, "you've got great taste little brother…so…you're really ready for this?"

"No! Are you kidding me?" Rodney gripped suddenly as he stole the ring box back from his brother.

"Wait a minute…you bought her a ring…you've been thinking: but you're not ready? Then why did you buy it?"

"Because…because…oh hell, stay with me here okay…I'm not going home for awhile…there's no one I care about back home but my sister who won't see me currently…and only God knows why; the point is…I bought it the night after our first kiss. John I knew a year and a half ago I wanted to marry her…hell I knew in Moscow! I bough the ring because I hoped it would help me get up the guts to finally propose…"

"And?" John asked raising his eye brows suggestively with a devilish grin.

"And I can't do it…if anything this is a constant reminder of the coward I really I am…I've carried this with me and suddenly I'm terrified she'll say no, or that she won't want me. I'm not even that freaked out about the Genii…don't get me wrong; I'm scared. But…but I finally found the perfect woman, I love her John…I could marry her right here and now…but I don't think she's any more ready for it than I am!"

"Who, calm down, okay first off Rod, just because you have the ring doesn't mean you have to ask her now, wait until the time is right, you're smart in knowing now is not a good time. We've got a lot on our plate right now, but you shouldn't wait forever either, Rodney think about how you want to do it, by the time you have that decided that…maybe you'll realize you're ready to take that step."

"Yeah…maybe…"

"Here, put the scary box away and lets go get some breakfast…"

"It is a beautiful ring isn't it," Rodney said suddenly looking at the white gold ring, stunned that he had found such a beautiful ring by himself.

"Yeah, it is, very good taste little brother, very good," John grinned as he slapped his brother on the back.

Until the Next Time


	55. The Angel's Gene

Chapter Fifty-Five: The Angel's Gene

"Okay little angel, it's breakfast time!" Rodney called as he opened the door to his daughter's room. Bright blue eyes looked up at him as she giggled and kicked her legs.

Reaching down, Rodney scooped her up into his arms and pressed a kiss to her temple. He quickly got her dressed and headed to the mess hall, carrying her on his hip.

John and JJ were already sitting at a table eating breakfast. Carson was in line. Rodney looked around but didn't see Elizabeth. "Morning'," he called as he set his daughter down in their usual spot before heading over to get some breakfast.

"Morning, hey there's my favorite kid," John said pressing a kiss to the girl's cheek.

"Hey!" growled JJ as he glared at his father.

"Just kidding, I have enough love for both of you," John replied grinning.

"JJ," babbled the little girl.

JJ smiled. That's where he had gotten his name. Lauryn still hadn't quite figured out the word John, and had started calling him JJ, so Johnny's nickname went from Johnny to JJ.

Carson and Rodney joined the table with their food. Rodney sat down beside his daughter and looked at her. "So angel…" the words barely left his mouth before she suddenly pointed to the bacon he had had on his plate.

"I've got myself a mind reader." Rodney grinned and handed the piece of bacon to the girl.

"You ask the same question everyday Rod. Eventually she'll prove she's smarter than you and doesn't need to hear you repeat it," joked John.

"Thanks," mumbled Rodney as he shoved a spoon of cereal in his mouth. The conversation for the morning was abnormally light. When they were finished eating, John and Rodney dropped JJ and Lauryn off in a room they had built just for them. It was a type of day care for the two children, and for any future children to inhabit Atlantis.

Rodney then headed off to his lab to finish up some of the paperwork that had been piling up recently, as well as some of his studies of the ancient language they had discovered a couple of weeks earlier.

John and Teyla were busy training more people from earth. While Ronan helped periodically, today he had been called off world to help his sister build an army for the future and therefore would be too busy to assist them with the training for the next couple days.

For once, in Rodney's eyes, a peaceful day on Atlantis seemed to exist. He headed to the playroom for lunch, smiling as greeted his nephew and daughter. "There's my girl!" He lifted her into his arms and smiled at her. It was then he noticed the small toy car in her hand, "Where did you get this?" he asked smiling. "JJ?"

"Don't look at me…I don't have any little orange cars…"

"Right ah, thanks…" Rodney looked back at his little girl; her blue eyes were wide with happiness.

"Made daddy!" she grinned as she clapped her hands together.

"Made…" He was just about to ask her to show him, when suddenly she wiggled from his grasp. Hitting the floor running, she moved over to another crayon that was sitting on the floor and picked it up.

"Show daddy!" she grinned again as she squeezed her hand around the crayon. Seconds later the once blue crayon had been turned into a small blue car.

"WHOA!" JJ called in surprise.

"Whoa…is a very good word right now…uh JJ. Go get your Dad and Aunt Elizabeth…," Rodney said, pushing his nephew out the door before looking down at his daughter.

The clear, excited blue eyes suddenly became watery. "Daddy don't like?" she whimpered. Seconds later she burst into tears.

"Oh no…no angel. Daddy's…just a little surprised that's all," he whispered as he picked her up and rocked her, unsure how she knew what he was thinking.

o0o

"She's perfectly normal," Carson deduced as he removed the stethoscope from his ears and gently rubbed the baby on her back as she looked up at him. Her eyes were still red and watery from the fit she had had with her father moments ago in the playroom. Carson smiled sadly as he realized Rodney probably wanted to cry himself.

"Uh Carson…she just turned a bloody crayon into a car! That's not perfectly normal!" shouted Rodney.

The wailing of an infant filled the infirmary as Elizabeth, John and Teyla all joined them in the infirmary. "What the hell did you do McKay?" John yelled over the girl's cries.

"Come here my sweet girl." Elizabeth scooped the baby up into her arms, gently rubbing her back in circles. The sobs slowly diminished into sniffles.

"You'll have to forgive Rodney, he seems to have forgotten his child isn't exactly from planet Earth, Rodney she's a wee alien. She's not going to be just like you or I, in fact I would have been surprised if she didn't have some strange gene…" Carson began but was silenced quickly by a glare from Rodney.

"But…but…" Rodney shook his head. He looked at his daughter who was still crying softly in Elizabeth's arms, "I'm sorry," he whispered and quickly disappeared out the infirmary door.

"I'll get him," John muttered as he hurried after his brother.

"Carson, is she an Ancient?" Elizabeth asked as she repositioned the baby in her arms.

"No, not that I can tell. She may have a wee bit of their make up. She's…she's not like any race we've encountered, not the SGC, or us."

"Should we be concerned that there will be any other…developments?" Elizabeth asked softly.

"I wouldn't. At the moment, she is ahead of most babies her age, by two she will probably be speaking nearly full sentences. She's already walking for the most part. I think her development will remain ahead of most children her age. She's incredibly smart. Rodney says she can read his mind. I haven't seen that for myself yet, although she did turn one of my tongue depressors into a small toy bunny," Carson said, holding up the miniature stuffed white bunny.

"But you don't see any other cause for concern?" Teyla questioned as she reached out and gently ran her hand over Lauryn's soft hair.

"No, her genetic make up is mostly human DNA. She'll be very similar to you or me."

"You told Rodney all this?"

"Aye, but I think it's going to be a long road for him. This is a new realm…."

"This is probably how Superman's parents felt," Elizabeth whispered softly.

"Aye, but if she starts lifting large rocks, tractors, and bench pressing Ronan, I don't know what Rodney will do," laughed Carson softly as he removed the girl from Elizabeth's grasp and pressed a kiss to her temple. "Aye, don't let that big goon scare ye lass, he's still the lovable dork he's always been, just a wee bit stressed is all."

"What is this…superman?" Teyla questioned.

o0o

"Hey, how ya doin'?" John asked as he joined his brother on the floor of one of the balconies.

"She's an alien…"

"Ah, yeah, she has been since…well since she was born. Come on Rodney, you knew that when you agreed to adopt her, what suddenly changed?"

"Uh, hello!" Rodney yelled.

"Okay, for starters lose the attitude okay? That yelling around her isn't going to help any. You're her daddy. She's knows something isn't right and she's already terrified enough, So she has…developed a few…interesting abilities, so what. You made a nuke in the sixth grade. Mom and dad didn't disown you."

"This is different John, I have no idea how to handle this…"

"Can I tell you a secret that dad once shared with me? There is no greater feeling in this world than holding this tiny little body in your hands and realizing you helped create it. There's also nothing as horrifying as holding that tiny creature in your arms and suddenly realizing that you have to protect it, love it unconditionally, and prepare it for a world that can be cruel and harsh. In the end all you can hope for is that your child will love you in return, and to know that they're doing well because of you. Rodney, she's still Lauryn. She's still that little angel you care for every day when you hold her growing body in your arms, when you feed her, change her, get her dressed. She's still the little apple of your eye, as well as Elizabeth's. She's the little girl who had this entire base wrapped around her finger within the first few hours she was here. No one brings out a grandfatherly side of Caldwell like Lauryn does. But I'll let you in on another little secret; she's more human than you may think. Come here." John gripped his brother's arm and led him back into Atlantis.

They walked towards Elizabeth's office but stopped short of entering. Elizabeth held the baby in her arms, chatting idly to her. John pointed to the girl. "Biologically she isn't your child -- but in your soul, in your heart, and in her mind she is yours. You see those big blue eyes? She has eyes just like yours. That little crooked smile she gets when someone is talking to her? She learned that from her old man. Her mannerisms, the way she claps or uses her hands when she's talking, the way she watches Elizabeth speak with such fascination -- she's your daughter Rodney. These are all things she's seen you do, and has learned from you. Every thing you do, and say around her, has an impact. Her ability to unconditionally love everything that comes to her -- she learned that from you, too."

"John, how do I raise a child to use abilities I know nothing about?"

"Little bit of prayer, little bit of power, and a whole lot of patience. Rod, every parent in the world fears for their child. I can't tell you all the things I feared for Lisa and JJ. Even now, JJ is my world. I can't imagine what I would do if anyone every tried to hurt him in any way. I want to protect him from the world, all parents do. But we can't do that Rodney. As much as they need us to stand up, they need to learn to do the walking by themselves."

"I should probably go in there…" Rodney whispered.

"Oh, that would probably be one of your better ideas. There's nothing wrong with being scared Rodney. There will be days when you'll both be at a loss. But all you have to do is remind her that you love her. She'll always see you as her super-man in your eyes."

"Thanks John," Rodney whispered.

"Any time little brother."

Rodney sighed, taking another deep breath he stepped into the office. Elizabeth looked up and smiled at her friend, he came over and knelt beside her. Looking his daughter right in the eyes, he smiled a truly genuine smile. "You are the light of my life. You make me see everything from a different point of view. I'm scared, I won't deny that, but I'm not angry at you, and I'm not scared of you," he whispered as he lifted her from Elizabeth's arms. He sighed as he pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"Are you all right?" Elizabeth asked.

"I will be," he said gently, as he squeezed the hand resting against his arm. She leaned against his shoulder, smiling as he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead as well.

"Thank you for being a mother to my daughter."

"She's our daughter…"

"Our little angel," whispered Rodney as he sighed and continued to look at those big blue eyes.

AN: The superman comments are inside jokes from Smallville, and the first few episodes where Clark's dad kept saying he was at a loss when Clark started doing things like lifting tractors. Her powers will increase, and they will become more of a skill in the future. She'll probably get more between 7-12 and then a few more in her teenage years, but I'm not sure what just yet. However her powers will be important. Originally I was going to have her be a furling but they have made no moves to let us know about those creatures. We're going to find out a little more about our dear little Lauryn Mae over the next couple...seasons/years. So stick with me guys :)


	56. Michael is Gone, Carson's Mistake

Author's Note: This epsiode left me with a very large question mark hanging over my head. I liked it, don't get me wrong, it was incredibly well written and the guy who played Michael did an incredible job! Carson was wonderful in this and cute...But as I watched it I was left with this feeling that some how it all seemed slightly...immoral what they did to him. I don't know...anyway so here's my finish to it :)

Chapter Fifty-Six: Michael's gone…Carson's Mistake

Elizabeth sighed as she looked out the doors that led to the balcony. A lone figure stood, leaning heavily against the railing as the warm breeze blew through his normally ruffled hair. Taking a deep breath she took a step out, the doors opening then closing quickly behind her. "Didn't we discuss this already," she spoke calmly and quietly; not wishing to startle the physician.

"You discussed…I ignored," he replied callously.

Elizabeth sighed; she could tell anything she said right now would have no affect on him. He was angry, scared and frustrated, "Carson…you can't sit out here forever blaming yourself over this…"

"Why?" he suddenly whirled around to confront her, his eyes were ablaze with anger. She was taken aback by the sight of the suddenly smoldering blue eyes leveling her instantly with a cold angry look. "Why shouldn't I blame myself? In case ye didn't notice Elizabeth I pushed this whole project! It's failed hundreds of times, first back on Hoffin, then with Ellia and John…now because of me another good person is dead! How many more times will I have to screw up before ye finally get it through ye're head that I shouldn't be here!" he yelled. "Who's going to go next Elizabeth? I already almost killed John! How about ye, or Rodney…maybe Laura? Don't ye get it…I keep making the same mistakes over and over again! Ye just brush it off like it's nothin' but ye and I both know better!" he hissed.

"Carson," she began calmly

"No! I won't have this conversation with ye! Because in the end this isn't ye're fault! Just like the whole Arcturus project! It wasn't ye're fault! It was Rodney's! I screwed up, I keep screwing up, nothin' ye say is gonna make me feel better about this! So don't waste your breath," with that he turned away from her.

Elizabeth paused for a moment, taking a deep breath she tried not to take everything he had just said personally. She kept reminding herself he was just angry and tired. She reached out and gently squeezed his shoulder. She waited for him to shrug it off, stop talking to her or make her leave. Instead she felt his shoulder's sag in defeat. "Feel better now?" she said gently. He didn't reply; Elizabeth could tell he was seriously considering that question. She could only imagine what he was beginning to think; without another thought, she slipped an arm around his waist, a technique she often used when Rodney was having a rough time with something. It was also something he generally used on her now. She dropped her other hand around his waist and leaned against his shoulder.

Instantly Carson's arms wrapped around her upper body and he pulled her close…and that's when the dam broke. His head leaned against her shoulder and seconds later his exterior anger collapsed. Elizabeth's allowed her arms to slip up, circling his shoulders and gently rubbing the base of his head and his neck: trying to soothe the savage guilt that ran through him. She leaned her head against the side of his, she understood him all too well…he needed someone to blame and right now that someone had to be himself. Given time he'd either find a way to right his wrong, or he'd move past it. It would take a while, but he would move on. Learn to forgive himself; that's what it really was; he had to forgive himself before he could forgive anyone else.

"I'm here Carson," she spoke softly as his tears began to dampen her shirt. He was a few inches taller than her, but suddenly it didn't matter. She held him close while he let go of all the fear and anger possessing his mind, "It's not your fault Carson, it isn't your fault, just let it out," the mantra continued.

She smiled sadly as she thought about their relationship, everyone on Atlantis was close with a small group of other people, whether a specific team everyone. Carson had taken great care in getting to know everyone in Atlantis; he knew everyone's name…in that way he was very similar to John and Rodney. However he also got to know each person in depth, like she did. His heart was big and endless, that was perhaps his most admirable trait and his largest downfall.

Carson was anessential part of her little family on Atlantis, she couldn't quite explain it. She saw John as an older brother who wished to protect everyone, and Teyla was very similar, Elizabeth saw her as the protective older sister who tried to impart her wisdom and love on everyone, she was by far the soul of Atlantis. Then there was Rodney, Elizabeth saw her as an equal in all areas, although sometimes that created conflict when she had to treat him like an employee rather than the best friend that he really was. Ronan was different; Elizabeth still wasn't quite sure where he fit into it all. Caldwell was the over bearing brother that sometimes stuck his nose where it didn't belong and got burned. Finally there was Carson, like Rodney, she saw him as an equal, but more than that she saw him as a twin brother, someone she could always see eye to eye with on practically everything. She was his right hand man, and while she'd never tell anyone else the truth, Carson was the one she would always turn to if she had trouble with anyone else. Carson was her best friend.

She loved this man, like she loved John, Teyla, Caldwell, Rodney, and Ronan. Which meant she'd be here for him just like she was there if any of the others needed her, "Carson," she spoke in a soft and loving tone, "you need rest let's get you to your quarters, okay?" she asked gently.

"No…" he said softly, his head never leaving her shoulder, "I need people."

She nodded against his head, "how about another movie night?" she asked softly.

John had mentioned it earlier after their mission gone bad. He knew no one would be in the mood, but like always he also knew what was best for everyone, and Heightmeyer agreed that it wouldn't hurt for the group involved in this mission to allow the gaps to be filled in.

"Yeah," he murmured.

Elizabeth smiled and slid her fingers between his, gently leading him to the recreation room where John was already setting up for the night, Rodney sat in a chair they'd brought back from earth last time the Daedalus had been by. His eyes were closed, but Elizabeth could tell he was wide awake. Heightmeyer sat in a chair opposite of her friends, talking quietly in what sounded like Russian, to Zelenka. Ronan was over in the corner watching from a distance; Laura Cadman already sat at one end of the couch, her legs curled up by her side, watching John intently. Teyla sat at the other end of the couch looking between Ronan and John.

"So what's the movie tonight?" Elizabeth asked, announcing their presence. She smiled as Rodney pried his eyes open momentarily to glance at her, taking her completely in she saw a ghost of a smile cross his handsome features before he allowed his eyes to drift shut.

"Per request of Dr. Heightmeyer and the Lieutenant we'll be watching Princess Bride this evening," John replied grinning.

"Really? I love that movie," Elizabeth smiled, "I used to have every line memorized," she admitted she gently pushed Carson to the couch and moved to the floor in front of Rodney.

o0o

The movie was only a little over an hour and a half long, however by the end Elizabeth had to smile. The movie had had the affect Elizabeth and Kate had been looking for. Carson was sprawled out on the couch, his feet in Teyla's lap, having long since abandonedhis shoes. His head in Laura's lap as she gently caressed the side of his face while he slept silently, her free hand gripped one of his as though he were holding onto his only life line. Her head was leaned against the back of the couch, feet propped up on the table in front of them, her eyelids obviously growing heavy as she tried to continue watching the movie.

John lay on the floor by Teyla's legs, his head pillowed against her propped up calves, while she too tried to remain focused on the TV, but she was obviously losing the battle against awareness. Ronan was asleep in front of the TV, Elizabeth couldn't ever remember seeing him sleep, but somehow he looked like a small lion cub rather than an intimidating man everyone saw him as,he was almost cute.

Zelenka was half asleep, his head resting against the chair Kate now slept soundly in, her head leaning to the side she looked peaceful compared to earlier after the whole fiasco.

At some point towards the middle of the movie Elizabeth had joined Rodney on the over stuffed chair, and now had the drooling scientist perched on her shoulder, snoring softly. Elizabeth shook her head as she twisted to press a kiss against his forehead, unsure what it was about this adorable movie that suddenly had all of her toughest and finest men fast asleep like little babies.

Grinning, Elizabeth wasn't sure she had the strength or desire to wake any of her people, after all if she woke them she took the riskof them becominggrouchy again, and frankly she had no desire to cause deal with that. With a small grin on her face she snuggled closer to Rodney and allowed her eyes to close; either they would all wake up there tomorrow morning, or they'd all slip out off to their quarters for a comfortable nightwhen no one was awake and looking. Either way, she had no inclination to suddenly move.

Until the Next Time


	57. Claustraphobia

Chapter Fifty-Seven: Claustrophobia

"Ready to go through the Stargate JJ?" Rodney asked as he walked his young nephew down to the gate room. The boy was bouncing off the walls. In two days he would turn eight years old and his father would actually be home to celebrate it with him.

"Yeah…does it hurt Uncle Rodney?" JJ asked looking up at his uncle.

"It's a little…cold, and feels kind of strange at first, but it's not too bad," Rodney said smiling. John was standing in the middle of the gate room, checking over the last of their bags when his son came bounding towards him.

"Dad!" The boy grinned as his father swooped him up in his arms and twirled him around.

"Hey big guy, you about ready to go home?"

"Yeah!" the boy said, his mind filled with excitement. His father had promised to take him to the amusement park too. They would be home for five days, then right back on the Daedalus for Atlantis. JJ didn't mind because it was time he got to spend with his dad.

"Oh, wait," Rodney, said, as he looked up at Elizabeth.

Grinning, Elizabeth, Teyla, Carson, Ronan and Zelenka descended the stairs. Elizabeth suddenly pulled out a present from behind her back and handed it to the little boy.

"What's this?" he asked looking at it.

John grinned as he knelt beside his son. "Why don't you open it and find out."

The wrapping paper went flying within seconds and the boy grinned. "Wow, thanks!" he cheered, as he saw the football.

"What does it say on it?" Teyla asked, grinning.

"Hey you guys all signed it! "'To our favorite quarterback, happy Birthday, love your Atlantis family'," JJ looked up and grinned at the people he had come to see as his extended family. "Thanks," he said grinning. He quickly handed the present to his father and dealt a hug to each of them.

"Happy Birthday JJ," Teyla said, returning the hug with a smile and enthusiasm.

"Thank you. Can I play with it?" he asked smiling.

"Well, I doubt your father would forgive you if you didn't," Rodney joked as he hugged his nephew.

"Thanks guys," he said again and turned back to his father. "Thanks dad."

"Don't look at me. It was Rodney's idea. I just signed it. Ready to go partner?"

"Yep, bye guys!" he called. With one final wave, John and JJ disappeared into the wormhole back to the SGC.

"That was a good idea Rodney," Carson said, smiling.

Rodney grinned as he looked back at his friends. "He's getting a hockey stick for Christmas."

"You're all heart Rod," Carson also grinned as he threw an arm around his best friend's shoulders.

o0o

Teyla, Ronan, and Rodney sat in Elizabeth's office nearly two weeks later. The Colonel was due back by the end of the week, and their team had been on stand down since John had left. However, Elizabeth was now proposing the three of them go on a recon mission and gather some simple information about some ancient writing one of the other teams had found earlier last week.

"Wouldn't it be best to wait until Colonel Sheppard returns, it will only be a few days?" Teyla questioned.

"Look guys, Major Higgs is supposed to be the best right out of the academy. He needs experience. As you said, this should be a very easy mission. All you need is to do is go, get some pictures and rubbings of the ruins, and come back. This shouldn't be hard guys -- just make it quick. You won't even know the Major is around."

"When do we leave?" Rodney asked sighing.

"Tomorrow at 09:00. You'll be fine, as I said should be easy. I wouldn't normally send you guys on this mission, but you're the only team without a leader right now, and he needs this chance to be out there."

"Please humor me guys, I know you don't really want to go without the Colonel, but it'll be fine," she said again

"Yes well, doesn't that always seem to be the general opinion," muttered Rodney.

o0o

Major Michael Higgs was one of the new men sent from earth on the last trip the Daedalus had made. He was a recent graduate from the academy and had worked at the SGC for about two months before being transferred to Atlantis. Elizabeth had read his file, and although he had flaws, she chose to overlook them. After all, she had a whole handful of people with chips on their shoulders and bad reputations. She hadn't noticed any bad behavior while he was here, at least none worse than John Sheppard's periodic disregard for the rules.

She watched as the major, Rodney, Ronan and Teyla stepped through the wormhole. A part of her was unable to get rid of the feeling of fear welling in her stomach.

Rodney had estimated the mission would take no longer than three hours. It was twenty minutes to and from the gate to the ruins, and then a couple hours to get everything catalogued and prepared for translation. Teyla and Ronan were really there to back him up and make sure he had any help he needed, while the Major was supposed to watch out for any trouble.

Nothing could possibly go wrong, he thought. However, Rodney hadn't counted on the inhabitants of the planet objecting their presence.

All went well up until they were almost ready to leave. "Doctor aren't you ready to go yet?" growled Major Higgs.

"Relax Major, Dr. Weir isn't expecting us back for another hour."

"Yeah, well, just hurry it up," grunted the man.

Rodney looked over at Ronan who smiled slightly. "Would you like me to kill him?"

"You'd enjoy it way too much," stated Rodney.

"Rodney…I have a bad feeling," Teyla spoke softly.

"Care to elaborate on that feeling?"

"I sense we may be in danger. I spotted a few people from a tribe on this planet nearby. We must get back to the gate," she spoke calmly.

"All right, help me pack this stuff up," Rodney said quickly.

"Wait, wait, a minute ago you were telling me you weren't ready to go!" Major Higgs said in annoyance.

"We may be in danger and should leave," Teyla spoke.

"If we're in danger, we're not much better off going to the gate which is in the open. We should stay here…."

"I disagree, Major, we would be better to go home now…" Teyla began.

"No we should stay here…" began Higgs.

"Are you insane? They'll have us cornered if we stay here," Rodney replied.

"We're not staying here," growled Ronan. There was a suddenly crack through the air. Ronan instantly covered Teyla, and grabbed Rodney, bringing them both to the ground. "We're leaving!" he growled again.

"You're fools to want to go out there!" Higgs replied.

"Ronan…" whispered Teyla from his side.

Ronan and Rodney looked down to see Teyla holding her arm, when she pulled her hand away it was covered in blood. "We're going back now!" growled Ronan. Without a second thought, he grabbed her and ran towards the gate. Rodney grabbed his gear and followed close behind.

Higgs apparently decided that moving was a good idea after all when more cracks started to fill the air. They ran as fast as their legs could carry them, Rodney rushed, ducking the entire way. Arriving ahead of Ronan and Teyla, he quickly dialed the gate. "ELIZABETH IT'S MCKAY! WE'RE COMING IN HOT!" Without another word he dove into the wormhole. Ronan jumped in gracefully with Teyla still in his arms. Higgs was right behind them.

"What the hell happened?" Elizabeth hurried down the stairs where Rodney was now lying in a heap beside Teyla and Ronan.

"We were ambushed. We were getting ready to leave…" began Higgs, "and Rodney was stalling…"

"WHAT?" Rodney yelled.

"Easy gentlemen, Teyla are you all right?" Elizabeth knelt beside her and looked at her arm.

"I will be fine," she said, smiling softly at her.

"Good, Ronan will you please take her to Carson? We'll have a debriefing in an hour."

"Yes ma'am," muttered Rodney as he walked off to join Ronan in the infirmary.

o0o

"So how is our girl?" Rodney asked, grinning. He knew how annoyed Teyla got at that name.

She looked up at Rodney, scowling slightly. Whether from the sting of the antiseptic or the name, Rodney didn't know, but it made him grin.

"Our girl, is going to be just fine. It looks worse than it really was. She'll live to tell the tale," Carson replied as he stitched her up gently, then applied a bandage.

"What are you going to do about the major?" Ronan asked as he looked at Rodney.

"What can I do? I'll tell Elizabeth the truth…it's up to her how she wants to handle this…" whispered Rodney.

"He could have gotten you all killed," stated Carson.

"Not to mention the fact he blamed the entire thing on you when we stepped through the gate." Ronan added.

"Don't worry about it guys, we'll….just do whatever we can. Why don't we speak with her alone at some point? If Higgs is going to lie about us, then we'll just talk to her later just the three of us."

"Very well…but be careful Rodney, he seems to have something against you."

"Doesn't everyone? Just remember I'm a scientist," Rodney said, grinning as he squeezed her shoulder gently.

"All right, Teyla, take these if you have any more pain, and come see me tomorrow to get the dressing changed," Carson said grinning gently at her.

"Thank you Carson," she whispered.

"Any time, love," Carson replied.

o0o

Elizabeth watched as Rodney, Teyla and Ronan sat quietly through the entire debriefing, eyeing the major. She couldn't help but notice how angry and frustrated they all looked. However, Higgs was the only person talking, and from the looks on their faces, Elizabeth easily guessed what this man was spouting off was anything but the truth. "All right," she finally spoke up, sighing. "Do you three have anything else to add?"

"No," muttered Ronan as he eyed Rodney.

"Nope," replied Rodney.

"No, Dr. Weir," Teyla murmured.

"Very well. Dismissed. Ronan, if you could please stay," she said.

"Yes ma'am," whispered Ronan as he watched the others leave, including Higgs.

"Now, why don't you tell me what really happened?" Elizabeth grinned.

"You're not going to like it."

"I didn't think I would."

o0o

Rodney sighed as he headed towards his labs, "McKay!" came the yell. Rodney turned around and glared at Major Higgs coming towards him.

"What?" Rodney ground out.

"What are you up to?"

"Uh, I'm going to my lab, why?"

"Look, Dr. Weir likes you guys, so she won't get angry if I say it was your fault…"

"Oh I'm sorry, I must have forgotten about being your scapegoat. Look here Higgs, you screwed up, and now you have to deal with the consequences."

"McKay…"

"No Higgs, you could have gotten us killed, you don't deserve to be out there."

"Oh, like you do…"

"Excuse me? I've been here longer than you, I've been working here longer and harder than you. I have every right to be there…"

"Only because your brother is the head of the damn team…if it weren't for him you'd be nothing!" hissed Higgs.

"Is this some personal vendetta? Let me put it this way, Higgs. Weir is going to know everything that has happened here. I will personally get your ass thrown off this base…"

"Shut up…"

"Or what? Just try something. You're pathetic and your career is as good as ruined…"

The man's eyes began to flare. Rodney never saw the right cross coming until it was too late. The fist connected with Rodney's jaw and he hit the floor unconscious. Michael's eyes quickly searched around until he found what looked like a small closet. With an evil smile he quickly pressed his hand to the controls and the door hissed open. Seeing that it was indeed a closet, Higgs searched for a moment, finally spotting some duct tape. He rapidly taped Rodney's wrists and ankles together, then slapped a piece of tape over the man's mouth and shoved him into the closet. He shut the door just as quick as he opened it and then disabled the panel. "You should have stayed out of this McKay. I've killed people like you. I'm not afraid of anyone."

o0o

John grinned as he strolled into Elizabeth's office with a wide smile on his face. The smile quickly disappeared when she looked up at him, a small scowl on her face and the worry in her eyes, "What's wrong?"

"Well, some things went wrong while you were away. Teyla is injured and now your brother is missing."

"What?"

"Look I don't have time to explain this right now. Rodney's been missing for over two hours. I've got personnel searching high and low all over this damn base."

"What the hell happened?"

"I don't know John…"

"Dr. Weir," came Ronan's voice over the radio.

"Yes Ronan…"

"I just found Higgs…"

o0o

"Where the hell is Rodney!" yelled Ronan as he grabbed the major, shaking the man.

"Ronan." Elizabeth gently touched her friend's arm. The runner looked over at her, then shoved Higgs back into his chair, nearly sending it over backwards.

"I…he's in the storage closet by his labs," Higgs said suddenly, looking nervously at Ronan. While he didn't mind pissing people off, he hated the idea of dying.

"Consider yourself fired, but I will let Colonel Sheppard take care of you!" she said as she shoved past the man in anger. "Security come to the mess hall and pick up Major Higgs. Have him confined to his room until further notice. Ronan stay here until security gets here."

"What about…"

"Ronan, we can handle this, please," she said gently.

"All right."

As they ran towards the labs, Elizabeth's heart was pounding in her chest. She could hear John running behind her. Carson was nearly a foot in front of her and Teyla wasn't far behind them. Carson reached the room first and wrenched the door open to the storage closet. There on the floor sat Rodney, huddled, looking terrified and lonely, tear tracks were trialing down his cheeks. Elizabeth hurried into the closet, holding out her hand to calm the frightened scientist. "Shh, I'm here," she whispered as she gently reached out to him. Almost instantly Rodney fell, crying, into her arms. She sighed, moving closer to him and pulling him to her chest, rocking him gently.

"John, go get us a blanket. Let's keep this quiet and get him to the infirmary" Elizabeth gently remove the tape from his lips, wrists, and ankles. Carson reached into the closet and flashed a penlight in both Rodney's eyes. The scientist instantly jerked his head away. "Shh, I'm sorry, I know that hurt. Are you injured?"

Elizabeth gently removed the tape and Rodney let out a soft sob as he buried his face in Elizabeth's neck. She sighed, continuing to run her hand through his sweat soaked hair, rubbing circles on his back.

"Shh, we're here sweetheart, we're here." She pressed a kiss to the back of his head, continuing to rock back and forth with him gently.

"Liz," came John's soft voice.

She looked up and gratefully took the blanket, gently wrapping it around his shoulders. "Can you walk?"

He slowly nodded as he looked up at Carson and John. His face turned red again when he spotted Teyla. "Don't worry lad, ye've got nothing to be ashamed of. Come here lad." Carson and John gently pulled Rodney up to his feet. Elizabeth rewrapped the blanket around his shoulders and watched him pull it close, as though trying to grasp onto something and pull himself back to reality. She gently wrapped an arm around his shoulder and continued to rub his arms.

"Carson, take the flank. Teyla and I will take lead," John said, instantly forming a barrier around the frightened scientist.

It was an agonizing five minutes before finally they got Rodney into an empty isolation room in the infirmary. "Teyla, go get me some hot water. John, go take care of the stupid son of a bitch who did this. Elizabeth stay with him," Carson stated.

John looked over at Elizabeth as if asking for permission to hit the bastard who had hurt his brother. She sighed for a moment. "You can't kill him, but _I_ will not be held responsible for any injuries you give him, after all you were with us the entire time," she said gently as she continued to rub Rodney's back.

John nodded and patted his brother's leg before he headed out of the room. Elizabeth turned back to her scientist and took his face into her hands. "Rodney, sweetheart, you're safe now, okay?"

He slowly nodded for a moment and then leaned into her arms again, sighing softly she gently moved him over on the bed and climbed next to him. "I'm sweaty," he mumbled quietly.

"It doesn't matter. You're in need of a friend, and some love, both of which I'm here to give to you," she said gently as she pulled him close again.

Rodney sighed and wrapped his arms around her waist, leaning into her shoulder. She sat there calmly, just caressing his face and forehead. Carson returned a few minutes later with a small sandwich, a chocolate bar, and some milk. Close behind him was Teyla with the hot water and the wash cloth.

"Wipe your face off, get something into your stomach. When you're feeling up to it, we'll help you into the shower," Carson said, gently smiling at his friend.

"Thank you," he whispered.

"Any time lad. Call us if you need anything, but I think the less people right now the better," Carson said smiling gently as he squeezed his best friend's knee.

"Thank you," he murmured again.

o0o

"You stupid little son of a bitch!" John growled as he grabbed Higgs by his coat and slammed him into the nearest wall. You little bastard! You're so afraid of getting fired that you shoved my little brother into a closet!" John swung the man around, throwing him into another wall, making sure the man's head connected with a resounding thud. John grabbed him off the floor, lifting the major's feet above the ground, as he got within inches of the man's face. "If you ever…and I mean _ever_ touch a single hair on my brother's body, or even so much as look at him, I will personally disembowel you. Make sure you're still alive, then shove your sorry little ass into the nearest closet! I will also make sure you die a very slow death!" hissed John as he shoved the man once again, driving home his words. "Be glad I didn't let Ronan get you first. Elizabeth said I could have you and she'd turn a blind eye. Ronan wasn't above killing you! I have no problem throwing you over the nearest balcony to the fishes!" John growled.

"Colonel," came Carson's voice.

"Get him out of my face!" John hissed throwing the major at the two security guards by the door. Even they had a sneer on their faces as they scooped the man off the floor and carried him away. "How's Rodney?" John's voice turning to worry and fear.

"Physically he'll be fine. He suffered mild dehydration and mild hypoglycemia. Emotionally, he's a bit of a wreck right now. He's got a nice size bruise on his right cheek."

"He had a panic attack didn't he?"

"Aye, according to Elizabeth it's been…"

"Twenty some years, Rodney's last panic attack was when we were in the sixth grade, right after he built the nuke in our basement…a couple jocks got a hold of him and shoved him in a locker. He was there for nearly two hours. We had one hell of a mess to clean up even then," whispered John.

"Aye, it's been awhile, but he does need you…"

"No, what he needs is Elizabeth. He needs a woman's touch. When they finally got him out of the locker, he clung to my mother for the next two days, afraid that the world would think of him as pathetic."

"Aye, well he's certainly acting like that now."

"I'll give him a little while, then I'll go see him. But if he'd be better off without visitors for awhile yet, just let Liz stay with him."

"Aye, I will."

"Thanks Carson."

"It's what friends are here for, lad," Carson said smiling softly.

o0o

John stepped into the isolation room. Rodney was sound asleep, curled next to Elizabeth, who was still gently running her fingers through his now showered hair. She turned her head and smiled at John.

"Hey, how's he doing?" John asked as he took a step closer.

"He'll survive another day," she whispered as he looked at his sleeping features, suddenly remembering why and how she was so in love with this man.

"Listen, Liz…thanks for taking care of him…"

"He's my best friend, and I love him. It wouldn't be the same around here without him in our lives," she replied as she pressed a kiss to Rodney's forehead.

"Yeah, he's a pretty good guy. Listen, could I have a word alone with him?"

"Of course," she whispered, withdrawing herself from his grip. With a final glance back, she headed out of the room to get some food.

John sat down at the edge of his bed, reaching out to gently stroked his brother's cheek. "Hey slugger," John smiled as Rodney's eyes slowly slid open.

"Hey…" Rodney mumbled.

"Listen buddy, I'm sorry I wasn't here…"

"Not your fault….me and my big mouth," he whispered grinning.

"Maybe, but that little bastard never should have come here in the first place," John whispered.

"What's going to happen to him now?" Rodney asked.

"He'll be sent back to Earth. I'm pressing charges against him. He's probably going to be discharged dishonorably and the military will try him for assault charges and attempted murder. From there…it's up to the Air Force—either way his career is shot."

"Attempted murder?"

"Apparently you and Teyla aren't the only people he's placed into… very bad situations. I heard a Sergeant talking about him shortly before we left--apparently he had quite the rap sheet at the academy. I have no idea why he was even allowed here, but every once in awhile I suppose someone is going to slip through the fingers of people. Anyway, I did some checking while on Earth, I wasn't impressed. I would've had him removed as soon as I got back even without all this. Don't worry about him we'll make sure he gets taken care of. Meanwhile, Carson plans on releasing you tomorrow morning. You're going to have a lovely little shiner, but you'll be fine."

"What I don't get is how we allowed someone like that here in the first place," Elizabeth admitted in confusion, "I mean…we go through all these files personally, why didn't we catch anything?"

"My guess…he could have completely changed names…he could have faked death, or he could have just figured out a way to wipe his record clean…It's in their hands now."

"Thanks…" Rodney murmured.

"Hey, I didn't do anything…except give the guy a minor concussion. Oh I did get to play a little football with my kid," he said, changing the subject.

"He likes it?"

"Are you kidding? I thought he'd sleep with the damn thing for awhile," John said grinning.

"Glad he liked it! How was his birthday?"

"Great, saw some of his old friends. He's a good kid."

"I know," smiled Rodney.

"Listen get some more rest buddy, I'll be back tomorrow with breakfast."

"Thanks…send Liz back in here."

"Oh, I see your priorities," grinned John.

"Just jealous…" murmured Rodney as his eyes drifted closed.

"Maybe, but it's not of Lizzy. Sorry baby brother." Grinning softly, John left the room and watched as Elizabeth slipped back into her former position to watch over his little brother. He smiled, glad that his Rodney had finally found the perfect person.

"They are wonderful together," came the voice by his side.

John practically jumped out of his skin. "Teyla, we've got to talk about you and your sneaking up on people," he grinned.

"What were you thinking?"

"How glad I am that he has someone to support him…in a way I never could," John whispered.

Teyla smiled as she reached out and intertwined her fingers in his. "Perhaps he is not the only with someone who will help support him."

Grinning John let her hand go and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, leaning his head against hers he smiled, "No, he's not."

Author's Note: So due to some unexpected surprises (such as finding out that Allies must come three weeks after Inferno) I've had to kick all the chapters up one, and plan to have an ending to Inferno sometimes before No Man's Land is Aired in mid July. Anyway so essentially we're done with the epsiodes for awhile, and we're onto the fun chapters, where I delve a little further into characters :)


	58. Childlike Innocence

In loveing Memory of Irene Nicastro, may the angels smile upon you, you will be missed.

Chapter Fifty-Nine: Childlike Innocence

John sat next to Rodney, Teyla, Carson, Laura, and Elizabeth. Lauryn slept soundly in Elizabeth's loving arms, while JJ was on the other side barely keeping his eyes open. They had been watching the third Star Wars movie, per request of most of the men. After some serious explaining and nearly a week of marathon watching, Teyla was completely caught up and they were finishing the final movie.

John looked down at his young son and smiled as he boy tried to remain awake, his head propped against his father's chest. "Okay kiddo, I think it's bed time," John stood up, allowing his son to prop himself up against the back of the couch. Smiling softly John reached down and lifted his son into his arms. Instantly the boy's legs wrapped around his waist, arms around his neck and his head leaning against John's shoulder.

If there was one thing in his world, that John couldn't describe better, this was the moment. There was nothing more important to him in the entire world than his little boy, and just holding his son made him feel so important. John sighed, wishing he hadn't missed so many of his son's early years, but he was pleased that he would get to spend the next twelve getting to know the boy.

He turned to face his friends and smiled, "night guys," John grinned as he carried his son out of the entertainment room. His fellow teammates nodded or whispered a goodbye as he headed into his own bed room further down the hallway. He moved into his son's bedroom off to the left, and easily settled his son down onto the bed, pressing a kiss to his son's forehead, "love you little guy," he whispered as he then pulled the blankets up around his shoulders.

"Daddy," whispered his son before John could leave the room. John turned and smiled at his son, moving back over, he sat down next to his son.

"What's up buddy?"

"Will you tell me a story?"

"JJ, you just watched a fantasy movie, I think that's plenty of a story for you. Sleep," John grinned.

"But you're going off world tomorrow…"

"I know that, but don't worry I'll be back."

"But you always tell me a story before you go off world," whined the child.

"But…but…but," Joked John as he leaned over again and pressed another kiss to his head. "Look buddy not tonight okay, I'm tired."

"Okay," the boy whispered.

"I'll tell you what, I will read to you two stories tomorrow night, okay?"

"Okay," the boy grinned nodded.

"Night little man."

Morning dawned on Atlantis, far too early for John Sheppard as he slowly strolled out of his shower, with only a pair of pants on, grabbing the cup of coffee he had made shortly before getting into the shower. He took his first sip, smiling at the aroma as well as the feeling of the warm liquid slipping down his throat. Today would be a good day. He decided as he looked around for his t-shirt that he normally wore.

The door to the bedroom his son slept in slowly opened and the child came out, clad in his dad's favorite Bon Jovi t-shirt, and a pair of flannel bottoms, his hair sticking up in every direction as he slowly rubbed at his eyes wearily.

"Well good morning," grinned John as he put his cup of coffee down and reached under his bed, finally finding his black shirt.

"So…are you guys going on a mission today?" JJ asked as he sat on his father's bed.

"Uh, yep, we're leaving in a couple hours, better get dressed, Major Lorne doesn't like to wait," grinned John as he tussled the child's hair. They had agreed on a way to educate the children of Atlantis when the time came, the children would learn something from all the Senior members or second in command. JJ was the guinea pig, but he didn't seem to mind, he certainly seemed to enjoy his time spent with his father's friends.

"Kay," whispered JJ as he hurried off to get dressed.

John sighed, he was fairly sure JJ was annoyed that John didn't read the story last night, but frankly John had been ready to collapse without reading stories, he wasn't ready to read until JJ was fast asleep three hours later. JJ came out of the bedroom a few moments later completely dressed and looking ready to go.

"Okay," John smiled as he took his son's hand and they headed out of their room.

After dropping his son off into Major' Lorne's protective company, the Colonel headed down to the gate room, Ronan was talking with one of the guys standing by the gate, Teyla was already suited up discussing something between Elizabeth and one of the various technicians. Meanwhile Rodney was checking something on the MALP.

"Ready?" John asked as he patted his brother on the shoulder.

Rodney turned his blue eyes to his brother and gave the man a smile, "yep, we should be good to go, just gotta dial it up," Rodney replied.

"Good, lets do this then," smiling he cast a glance to Elizabeth and Teyla, smiling softly he nodded, "Dial it up," he called.

"Be safe," Elizabeth gave her normal goodbye to her friends as she watched them step through the gate.

Everything seemed to be going well, they met with the people of the village, made a couple peaceful trades and were soon on their way back to the gate. John shouldn't shake the feeling that was almost too simple.

Before he even had time to voice his thoughts he heard the familiar buzzing above their heads. "Wraith!" he called rapidly as he began to run towards the gate, Ronan on his tail.

"Rodney!" Teyla cried out as she shoved the scientist out of the way.

John turned just in time to see Teyla scooped up by a Wraith dart, he felt his stomach roll, at the sight of the beam and her body disappear. John opened his mouth to yell for Rodney who was still on the ground covering his head, but no sound would come.

In that moment John was never more thankful to have Ronan on his team, as the runner dashed over to Rodney and grabbed his arm, "come on," was all the runner said to Rodney before he yanked him towards the gate, "Dial!" Ronan ordered.

John quickly dialed the gate address to Atlantis, then punched in his numbers for the GDO, seconds later they dove through gate, all three men still in shock at what had just happened.

The three men landed on the floor of Atlantis' gate room in a large heap, "Are you all right? What happened? Where's Teyla," Elizabeth asked as she hurried down the stairs to her best team. Three sets of different eyes all looked up at her, each filled with their own pain and shock.

"Wraith…dart," whispered Rodney as he slowly dug himself out from under Ronan.

"We were on our way back from the village, when we heard a dart nearby, we started running back towards the gate when suddenly…" Ronan just stopped as he looked up at Elizabeth.

"She pushed me out of the way," whispered Rodney.

"All right, go get your post-mission check up, we'll brief in one hour," Elizabeth tried to remain calm, and not worry about her closest friend.

"Wait a minute…"John began to argue.

"Listen to me John, we can't do anything for her right now, you said yourself it happened so fast, there's no way to trace the dart at the moment, we'll have to wait and try to get our heads on straight before we decided to go off half-cocked and get ourselves killed."

"Yes ma'am," John murmured.

John sighed as he ran his hair through his rakish hair, walking into the nearly empty mess hall, that's when he spotted the other figure sitting over at a table by himself, a carton of milk sitting in front of him, along with a couple of cookies. John smiled sadly as he neared his young son, "must be pretty serious if you aren't eating your cookies," John muttered, he honestly didn't feel much like joking at the present time.

"I heard 'bout Teyla," whispered JJ. John sighed and reached out to lift his son from the seat, taking a in the vacated chair, he pulled JJ on to his lap, trying to pull his thoughts together before speaking.

"Listen buddy, try not to worry too much, okay. Teyla's a tough cookie, we'll find her," John whispered, unsure who he was really trying to convince.

"Are you scared?"

John smiled as he leaned his head against JJ's head, "yeah buddy, yeah I am."

"Dad, do you love Teyla?" JJ asked as he leaned against John's chest.

"I dunno buddy, she's very special to me, she's strong, beautiful, and smart. She's the only other woman I know who can kick my ass… What do you think of Teyla?"

"She sings to me, and holds me when I'm scared…she doesn't treat me like a stupid little kid. I know my real mom isn't gone…but Teyla makes me believe it might be okay to have two moms."

"Teyla makes me feel something I haven't felt since I first met your mom."

"Would you ever marry Teyla?"

"Maybe, one day down the road buddy," John whispered, although at this very moment he was feeling that road coming to an end far quicker, just so he could be with her.

"If you do marry her, can I call her mom?"

"You'll have to ask her, but I'm sure she'd like that," John prayed they weren't talking about someone who was already dead and gone. The duo lapsed into a comfortable silence John watching as JJ studied his father's hands.

"If you do marry her…I want a brother."

John grinned and hugged his sweet boy, "oh you do; do you? Well I'll see what I can do."

"I love you dad," JJ whispered as he titled his head to look up at his father.

"I love you too kiddo," John replied dropping a kiss to his son's forehead.

John sat quietly in Elizabeth's office, watching as Rodney tried to retell what had happened on the planet, Ronan had decided to show up late, and he now sat close to John, his arms crossed protectively across his chest.

"We should go back out there," whispered John.

"John I want to send you back out there, don't get me wrong, however it's not going to be safe, and we don't even know where she's been taken too, right now it would be far too dangerous and take far too much time to try and search every planet for her. We have to wait and hope we get some kind of sign."

"Some kind of sign…" began Ronan.

"Listen to me gentlemen, please. I understand your urgency, but it's just as important to me, as it would be to her, to keep you guys safe as well. I'm not going to send you to some random planet hunting the Wraith. No matter what you have done before."

"Off world activation!" came the voice of the Lieutenant from the control room.

"Who on earth could that be?" Elizabeth asked as she stood and headed out into the control room, followed closely by John, Ronan and Rodney.

"I don't know ma'am, we don't have anyone off world at the moment."

"Do you have a GDO?" Rodney asked as he moved over to the control system.

"It's Teyla's IDC," whispered the man.

"Lower the shield!" barked John his eyes still on the gate.

Teyla Emmagan stepped through the wormhole, looking slightly dirty and dusty, but none worse for the wear, she didn't look any older either. "Teyla…" John began.

They all watched in horror as she suddenly raised her side arm and took aim, "John look out!" cried Rodney as he dove and took his brother to the ground, a shot hitting one of the walls right behind John.

Elizabeth slowly stood from where she had crouched by one of the controls and watched as various members of the military security team quickly grabbed Teyla. "Be gentle!" she yelled, "take her to the brig…we'll question her there, and have Doctor Beckett meet us there," Elizabeth ordered.

"What the hell was that all about?" Rodney asked as he slowly helped John to his feet.

"I don't know, but I intend to find out!" hissed John as he quickly made his way down the stairs.

"Teyla, do you know who I am?" Elizabeth asked as she entered the brig.

Two doe brown eyes, filled with hatred stared back at her, Elizabeth could almost feel a shiver go down her spine from the chill in those eyes.

"You are Elizabeth Weir!" she hissed.

"Teyla, what happened to you?" questioned John as he took another step towards the jail cell.

"I came to my senses! You have killed those close to me!"

"Teyla, you used to serve with us, you're my friend…remember?"

"I fight for the Wraith! I would never betray them!" she yelled.

"No…you don't," stated John, "you're our ally, our friend, you and your people helped us."

"You tried to kill us!"

"I'm sorry you feel this way," Elizabeth began placing a hand on John's arm, "but we have not harmed you in anyway, and we don't want to."

"If you…would like to talk…we're here," whispered John as he turned and left the room.

Elizabeth paused a moment longer, watching her best fighter, then joined John and Carson outside the large room, "that was…disturbing," whispered Carson.

"What did they do to her?" John directed his question toward Carson.

"Your guess is as good as mine. If she sleeps, I'll try to get some of her blood…we'll see if there are any toxins in her blood stream."

"Good, hopefully whatever this is…we'll be able to get past it."

"So now what?" whispered Ronan.

"We wait, Rodney was able to get some blood samples, he thinks she may have been given some sort of drug to believe she's against us…he also thinks it will wear off soon enough."

"I don't like to wait," murmured Ronan in reply.

"I don't either Ronan, but currently it's or only option, we have to be patient, she'll stay in the cell until she's back to normal."

"What about the Wraith, they obviously know we're here," questioned John.

"Yes well, they've known that for awhile now. Try not to worry," Elizabeth added.

"Isn't there anything we can do?" Rodney jumped in.

"No," spoke Carson, "I'm afraid not, we're stuck waiting for whatever this drug is to wash out of her system."

"All right…we'll I guess we should probably…get some rest," whispered Elizabeth gently.

"Yeah…"muttered John as he got up and walked out of the room.

Elizabeth sighed as she slowly rubbed her temples, the night shift had come, Atlantis was quiet, and nearly everyone had headed to bed. So here she sat, looking down at John, and Carson's report. Carson was exceptionally hopeful that Teyla would make a full recovery if whatever she had in her system left her body. However, until then they would all have to suffer the words she threw at each of them.

She could feel the tears beginning to form, this wasn't her Teyla, her closest friend, the only other woman on Atlantis that Elizabeth trusted like she trusted Rodney and Carson.

"Elizabeth, sorry to bother you but I…" he stopped when he noticed she hadn't looked at him yet. "Lizzy?" he whispered as he moved over to her side. "Eliza, sweetheart," he reached out and gently touched her shaking shoulder, and suddenly realized she was crying softly. "Honey?"

"I'm sorry," she whimpered as she shook her head, "I was just thinking about Teyla," Elizabeth whispered as she looked up at him.

"Hey, Teyla's going to be fine, you said it yourself, the woman is one hell of a fighter. She's going to pull through this, and we'll have our old…kick ass Teyla."

"I know," Elizabeth mumbled as she wiped at her face to clear the tears away.

"Come here," he whispered in reply as he gently grabbed her arm and lifted her from her seat. Pulling her close, he rubbed her back softly, trying to calm her.

Elizabeth paused for a moment, as she hid her face in his shoulder, trying not to just have a complete breakdown. "I'm sorry."

"Shh, hey, there's nothing wrong with you for missing your friend. I miss her too, I'm here." Leaning back he pressed a kiss to her forehead and smiled gently.

"Thank you Rodney, I'm sorry…" she sighed again.

"Don't worry about it Eliza, why don't' we go to the mess and have some coffee or something."

"Thank you, I could use some company," she said nodding.

Rodney nodded, and together the two friend discreetly crept off to the mess hall, hand in hand. Rodney's fingers laced through her's, not caring what anyone said about him, or them.

John lay in bed, sighing he rolled over onto his back, he couldn't fall asleep, his mind just kept going back to Teyla. He couldn't think, couldn't sleep, he just missed his Teyla. "Dad…" came the soft voice from the other side of the room.

"Yeah buddy," whispered John.

"I can't sleep," whimpered the child.

"Come here buddy," John opened his arms and allowed JJ to climb up onto his bed and curl against his side.

"Dad…I want Teyla back," he whimpered.

"Me too buddy, me too," John felt tears stinging his eyes as his son, cuddled to his father, trying to fall asleep, "me too," he whimpered softly as he closed his eyes against the wave of tears threatening to over flow.

John was startled awake by the loud siren wailing through the city, and the sudden cry from his intercom by his bed, "JOHN! TEYLA'S OUT!" cried Rodney.

John jumped out of bed, his son right behind him, suddenly John turned, "no, stay here JJ," he stated gently. He gently brushed the hair from the child's eyes.

"But…mom," he whimpered.

"I'll take care of Teyla, I promise," pressing a kiss to his son's head he ran out of the room, never looking back to notice that his son had followed him.

"She's headed to the gate room!" cried Rodney as he came around a corner, nearly barreling into his brother.

"Let's go, did you wake Elizabeth?"

"Yeah!" came Ronan's reply as he joined the duo.

The gate room was already a flurry of activity, Teyla was standing in the control room, getting ready to dial the gate, "Teyla no!" Ronan cried.

"The Wraith will come again!" she hissed as she ran down the stairs. Suddenly John shot out from one of the sides, his gun drawn on her, staring her down.

"Teyla, it's John," he spoke firmly.

"Get out of my way Sheppard."

"Dad!" cried JJ as he ran into the gate room; seeing him Rodney stretched his arm out, able to grab the boy as quickly as he could and hold him close.

"No! Get _off_ me!" yelled JJ as he detached himself from his Uncle.

"Don't make me do this Teyla," John whispered as he took the safety off his gun.

"NO!" cried JJ as he stood between his father's gun and Teyla.

"JJ move!" John yelled angrily, afraid to hurt his son, but more afraid of the woman standing on the other side of his little boy.

"No!" JJ turned to face Teyla, tears streaming down the eight year old's face, he took a deep breath, "I know the real Teyla is still in there! You hate the Wraith Teyla, you're not with them. Don't you 'member?" he whimpered slightly, "Teyla, I love you…" he paused and looked back at his father, "my dad loves you, you're the world to me and dad. You give him reason to wake up every mornin', and he thinks 'bout you every night. I know you feel the same about him, you've told me! Please Teyla, this isn't you…you're a strong leader of your people…you love these people, you're full of confidence, you sing to me!" he sobbed suddenly, "you love me!"

John watched with tears in his own eyes, as everyone else simply observed with no control. They watched the woman they all held with such a high regard, Teyla was frozen in her spot, all eyes were on JJ.

"You're my Atlantis mommy…you even let me call you that at times….You taught me how to sing…and how to be creative without getting in trouble, you taught me respect for myself and those around me. Please Teyla come back…we love you."

For a moment John was sure he saw a flicker of recognition from Teyla, then suddenly her face grew angry and she stepped towards the boy. A loud crack resounded through the halls of Atlantis. "NO!" screamed JJ as he ran towards the unconscious Athosian.

Carson rapidly descended the stairs, "we need to get her into the infirmary now!" he called.

JJ slowly turned towards his dad, tears were now streaming down John's face as his haunted eyes stared down at the woman on the floor, the smoking gun in his hand wavering slightly, then slipping to the floor.

"Daddy," whimpered JJ.

John instantly looked up at his son, seconds later he caught the little boy in his arms and held him for all he was worth, "I'm sorry buddy, god I'm so sorry," John whispered.

"How's she doing?" Elizabeth asked softly as Carson stepped out from behind the curtain.

He shrugged softly, "she has her memory back, whatever drug they put in her system is gone…probably washed from her system. My guess the Wraith wanted her here just long enough to get any intel needed and get out…They didn't plan for her to be stuck here so long, anyway she's going to be fine."

"Can we see her?" John asked quietly.

"Aye," Carson replied gently.

"Thank you Carson," whispered Elizabeth.

John gripped his son's hand as they walked closer to the bed where Teyla lay quietly, John could tell she was awake, "go ahead buddy," letting his son's hand go, he watched JJ climb up onto the bed beside Teyla.

She turned to him, her beautiful eyes full of tears and regret, she whimpered slightly at the sweet boy by her side. Reaching out JJ gently tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and smiled softly, he then lay down beside her and curled against her side, "I love you Teyla," he whispered as he held her hand.

John watched as she tried to keep her composure, she nodded softly, pressing a kiss to his forehead, "I love you too my child," she whimpered softly, closing her eyes and drifting off into a sleep.

"That child might be just what she needed," whispered Carson.

"We're gonna get through this…right?" Rodney asked.

"Aye, we've made it through everything else, this should be no different."

John sighed, he eyed his brother, then moved over, placing himself beside Teyla's bed, he gently gripped her other hand, pressing a kiss to it, he sighed. "Goodnight my love," he whispered hesitantly.

John sat in the office he had recently claimed as his own, it was two doors down from Rodney's, and while it wasn't a lab, it had everything he needed to run his part of Atlantis, suddenly the door 'whooshed' open, and Teyla entered.

"Hey," John grinned as he offered her a soft smile.

"Hi, I was just released…I felt it important to come down he and speak with you," she explained.

"Please have a seat, no need for formalities Teyla," John said smiling again.

"Very well, John…I wish to thank you, as well as JJ…I knew, somewhere in the back of my mind that something was happening, and I couldn't seem to escape. I am grateful that you and your son, care for me enough that you did not wish me harm."

John shrugged, taking a step closer to her, he gently took on of her hands in his, looking at it for a moment, "there is no one more important in my life than you and JJ," he replied simply, "I wasn't going to lose you…not after spending so much time getting to know you…to care for you," he leaned in, and was surprised when their lips met suddenly. He deepened the kiss out of instinct, his hand gently caressing her cheek as they kissed.

She drew back, smiling softly at him, "thank you again John."

"Any time," he replied as he watched her suddenly turn to leave.


	59. House Arrest

Author's Note: Ahh, back at school, with class in little less than an hour I must say…I wanna go home. Anyway also, I apologize for any grammatical errors…I had some issues with numbering chapters and realizing that I almost forgot this chapter all together…so NebbyJ never actually saw this chapter. Sorry…enjoy!

Chapter Fifty-Nine: House Arrest

He was the residential whiner, the chronic complainer, the grouchiest of grouches. No one, aside from the ever annoying and always present Kavanagh; could or did complain like Rodney did. However, there was one thing Rodney rarely, if ever did, and that was go directly to Elizabeth to request someone get shipped back to Earth.

On some level Rodney respected every scientist under his supervision. Their jobs weren't easy, and he knew he didn't make it any easier. Not to mention they had all volunteered for this position, which meant they either had enough balls or were crazy enough to want to travel to another galaxy. That in itself was at least a little noteworthy.

However, today was different; many of Rodney's better scientists had finally built up the nerve to come and speak with Rodney himself, to speak of a certain scientist in their ranks that was giving them all some troubles. The most recent however, had been Radek Zelenka. Rodney's right hand man, and even more than that, close friend. Rodney didn't trust anyone in their field as much as he trusted Radek.

So when the big hearted engineer had arrived in McKay's lab looking bright red, angry and a little…charred, yelling in a pitch akin to wailing sirens, in a cross between Russian, Czech and English; Rodney had known something was wrong.

Rodney had been putting off speaking to Elizabeth for probably nearly three weeks. At first it had been small trivial complaints; however Zelenka's complaint was the final straw.

This was how Rodney found himself marching up to Elizabeth's office; running what he would say through his mind before actually speaking them to Elizabeth. There were only so many nice ways to tell someone they're an incompetent moron who would be better off at the bottom of the ocean; than working on explosives. "Elizabeth?" Rodney stepped into the office.

Two hazel green eyes looked up rapidly, waving the scientist in, she then quickly returned to what she had been reading, "one minute, just reading your latest mission report." She commented.

"Eliza, this is important," Rodney whispered gently getting her attention.

Instantly the same hazel eyes met his, which held all seriousness, "Sounds…interesting what's wrong?"

"I just had a serious discussion with Radek a few moments ago…and after…a little debate, we've decided that…well there's a certain scientist among our ranks that…"

"Rodney, spit it out, you've never had trouble complaining before."

"Dr. DeVore is a hazard to the rest of us, he's an absolute idiot. He can't stay here, Radek recommends we send him back to Earth, and stick him in…a very low paying job without the explosives where he can't tell anyone anything and won't hurt anyone."

"And I assume you agree?"

"Eighty to ninety percent of my staff has either complained to Radek or me, with serious confrontations."

"So this isn't just you?"

"No, it's not completely unanimous; however it's a majority of people who agree. Some of the military personnel feel the same way."

"Okay, so you what do you want to do?"

"Personally? I'd send him to the bottom of our ocean, however the military seems to be against killing the deserving…so he needs to be sent home. He's a liability to everyone around him. I've had to serious injuries because of his careless behavior."

"All right, I'll speak with Radek…obviously to get his point of view as well…but I'll get to work on his discharge orders right away. I'm leaving it up to you to tell him the truth."

"Thank you," murmured Rodney as he stood up to leave the office.

"Rod…" Elizabeth met his ocean blue eyes and smiled softly, "on a personal note, I agree. It's a very small population however, that seems fine with him. Several people have complained about him, in fact he's making Kavanagh look like a pansy, actually even Kavanagh hates him. I've also had several emails from Carson, also complaints."

"Thanks Eliza."

"Your welcome, now on a personal note, Caldwell arrived and brought some of the newest DVDs, Carson, John, Teyla, and Laura have invited us to join them…if you'll bring the popcorn," Elizabeth grinned widely at him. It was a smile, that Rodney could never resists.

"I'll be there, with the extra buttery popcorn."

"Mmmm, you know what I like," she joked smiling at him.

"Later Eliza."

o0o

Rodney spent ninety percent of the rest of the day, avoiding DeVore like someone would avoid the black plague…or Carson on one of his cranky days. With only twenty or so minutes before their movie started, Rodney made his way to Dr. DeVore's lab, once again trying to find the words to say, DeVore was a waiting time bomb, and frankly Rodney had no desire to be there when the man finally exploded.

The science labs were really spread out across the city. Rodney and Radek held two of the labs closest to the control room, they had a very specific set up, allowing the most important jobs, or best scientists closer to the area best for them, within walking distance. The not so good scientists were spread out further in the bowels of the city. Unfortunately DeVore was one of the not so good scientists.

Rodney couldn't count the number of arguments he'd had with this man in the past week, every day there seemed to be something else to scream at the man, and DeVore's biggest problem was he yelled right back about things he didn't, decided he was right anyway, then did them and nearly got three people killed for it.

Knocking on the door jamb, in hopes of avoiding the man all together, he slowly entered the eerily silent lab, before anyone could respond. He moved through the small of the labs, looking around for hints as to where the idiot scientists might be. Rodney stepped around the desk, never really noticing the thing figure that stood in the shadows, his gray empty eyes watching the head scientists with fascination.

Rodney was stunned to see DeVore lying on the floor in a pool of his own blood, "My god," whispered Rodney as he hurried over to the obviously injured man. Rodney began to reach for his headset when he heard a clatter from by the door.

"Hello?" Rodney called as he slowly stood up and turned around. He never got a chance to call out again, or see the person who attacked him, all he saw was the flash of something metallic, and stars explode through his world as he hit the ground unconscious.

The two gray eyes smiled as he stared down at the two bodies, setting the pipe he had found over in a corner, and slid out of the room, his eyes still on the two figures.

o0o

John leaped over the back of the couch they had claimed for movie nights; landing some what gracefully between Teyla and Elizabeth. "Did you do that in your mum's house?" Carson asked shaking his head.

John looked up innocently at Carson, "Do what?"

"No wonder your mother liked Rodney more," chuckled Teyla.

"Dad liked me," John said trying to defend himself.

"Aye, probably because he got in just as much trouble pulling that stunt as you did."

"Cute," mumbled John, "speaking of said scientist, where is, Mr. Cranky pants?"

"I invited him, and he said he'd be here," returned Elizabeth.

"Colonel Sheppard!" a voice came over all the radios, and Jon instantly recognized it at Laura Cadman.

"I'm here Cadman, what's wrong?"

"I think you'd better come down to Dr. Devore's lab…we seem to have a bit of a problem."

"We'll be right down," John shot Carson and Elizabeth while reply before jumping back over the couch, followed by the other three friends as they all rushed towards DeVore's lab.

Laura Cadman was standing by the door looking a little shocked, another man, John vaguely remembered as Doctor Way borne was standing by the door, holding his hand over his mouth. Radek was also standing their, rubbing his eyes wearily. "What happened?" John asked as he came running up first, closely behind him were Carson, then the two women.

They all stepped inside, also surprised to see Major Lorne kneeling next to Rodney, who was holding a cloth against his bleeding nose. Carson came to his other side, shooting the body that was lying a few feet away.

"I found Dr. Wayborne yelling for help, I came down here, and found McKay crouching over Dr. DeVore," began Zelenka.

"Rod, what happened?" John asked as he watched Carson feel the back of Rodney's head.

"I…honestly I don't even know, I don't even remember coming down here…." Rodney looked up at his brother weakly.

"Don't worry about it buddy," John said gently as he rubbed his brother's shoulder and looked at Carson. The doctor nodded, John reached under Rodney's arms and gently lifted him to a standing position. Wrapping an arm around his brother's shoulder, he led Rodney out of the lab.

"Radek, have a look around, get whatever done you have to, then call Carson…to do the autopsy." Elizabeth told him. The scientists looked at her for a moment, then studied Rodney and nodded.

o0o

Carson sighed as he looked down at Rodney, John seated beside the man, "You don't remember anything?"

"No? I remember Elizabeth asking me to the movie tonight, I remember dinner, but…I don't remember," Rodney whispered.

"Shh, its okay Rod, you're going to be just fine," John smiled softly as he squeezed his brother's shoulder.

"John, a word please," came Elizabeth softly from the doorway.

"Listen buddy, I'll be back tomorrow morning okay, you get some sleep," John offered before he turned from the bed and headed toward Elizabeth.

Rodney watched them go, and searched for Carson, "I'm here lad. I'm giving you something to help you sleep, then I'll be back later."

"You'll wake me and tell me what happened?"

"Aye, I can if you want me to, until then, get some rest lad."

o0o

Carson stood near the door, listening to the various arguments going on in the seemingly small office of Elizabeth Weir. Along with him, was Elizabeth, John, Caldwell, Lorne, Cadman, Zelenka, Teyla, Wayborne, and Ronan.

"How's he doing Carson," Elizabeth finally called attention to the physician.

Carson sighed, shrugging slightly he spoke, "He's got a minor concussion, bruised cartilage. Nothing is broken, but I want to keep him under supervision for awhile, whatever hit him struck his right temple, I believe it may have caused some swelling in the part of his brain that deals with memory. Rodney has no memory of today after dinner."

"What about Dr. DeVore, how did he die?" Caldwell asked.

"Well, based on what Dr. Biro found, I'd say he died from a substantial brain injury caused by a blunt object," explained Carson.

John looked at Caldwell, who looked confused, "he means that someone cracked his skull so hard it smashed his brain," he offered.

"So he was murdered?" Caldwell spoke.

"Aye, that's certainly what it looks like…"

"Great, we've got a murderer on Atlantis," mumbled Elizabeth sadly.

"And no suspects," John added.

"Wait a minute, what about McKay?" Caldwell replied.

"With all do respect, Colonel, I don't think that's very likely. He didn't just give himself a concussion." Carson injected.

"No, but Dr. DeVore could have tried to defend himself and got in a good swing. The man was found unconscious on the floor, covered in DeVore's blood, with no memory whatsoever of what happened. You don't find that the least bit suspicious?"

"Wait a minute," Elizabeth spoke holing up her hands, "we can't afford to jump to any conclusions."

"Which is why, I suggest, we put Dr. McKay under constant supervision. We can't have people think just because he's head of the Science department that he can get away with anything. People are going to want justice," Caldwell spoke.

Elizabeth seriously doubted many people would miss DeVore, but she didn't say what she thought, "You want to place, my best scientist under security because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time?"

"As a matter of fact, I do. Do you have any personal problems with that?" Caldwell sneered.

Elizabeth felt the rage well inside her, but before she could say a word, Carson spoke up, "With all due respect Colonel, again, I think you're being idiotic," Carson's blunt reply stunned everyone in the room, "You know Rodney well enough to know he couldn't harm a fly…literally. However, currently he is my patient: if you or your security step one toe in my infirmary while he's there; and you aren't bleeding profusely; I will not hesitate to throw you out quicker than you can draw your gun, and report you for disorderly conduct, disturbing the peace, breaking and entering, and any other crimes I can think of while I'm at it!" hissed the doctor.

Caldwell glared at the man again in heated anger, but sighed when he realized his fight was over. Carson was a man of his word, and he had no doubt that if Carson said it, then it would happen. "How long do you plan on keeping him?"

"It's none of your business; you run your ship Colonel. Dr. Weir runs this outpost; Colonel Sheppard is our Commanding Military officer, not you. If you have a problem with how we run things on Atlantis then take it up with one of us, but you will not bother us with your ideas of grandeur. You do not run Atlantis," Carson stepped closer to the Colonel.

John smiled, knowing how overprotective Carson could be of any of his patients, however threatening a friend and a patient could be down right deadly to cross Carson. John stepped closer to Carson, as though not only trying to back of the doctor, but stand by his brother as well. He was pleased when many of the people in the office stepped behind Carson.

"You're crazy if you think defending him will gain you any respect…"

"Get out of my office Colonel, you have no pull here." Elizabeth spoke strongly.

Caldwell eyed them all then turned on his heels and headed out of the office door. The ground of friends stood there for a moment longer, waiting to see if he'd come back. Finally then Carson turned to his friends, "I apologize for my little outburst."

"Outburst…Carson I've never been more proud of you," Elizabeth said gently as she patted his arm. "However, Caldwell was right about one thing, we have to show the people of Atlantis we care, I'm not saying we have to condemn Rodney, but for the time being I'd like John to protect him, not watch him, but protect him. Whoever really did this is still out there and could hurt him. We'll hold a trial, and we'll question various different staff members, both his friends and his foes. We'll find out what someone did this to DeVore. Carson will you please go speak with our way ward scientist."

"Aye…but he won't like it."

"Don't really care, it's the way it has to be Carson, please try to let him know that."

"He didn't do this Elizabeth," John whispered.

"I know guys, believe me, I know Rodney better than most of you, he could never hurt someone, but I don't want anyone hurting him, and I don't want anything thinking I'm playing favorites. We'll do this the legal way they would on Earth."

o0o

Carson stood wearily by Rodney's side, watching the sleeping form. He was unsurprised when to bloodshot blue eyes looked up at him, "how do you feel?" offered Carson.

"Terrible, nose is killing me," mumbled the scientists. Carson nodded, and pulled a nearby stool over and sat down, sighing heavily, "uh oh, this can't be good," muttered Rodney.

"Rod, we need to talk…"

"Can I have a shot of morphine first, because this sounds painful," joked Rodney, coaxing a small smile from his best friend.

"No, you need to be lucid for this. Dr. DeVore is dead, and…we've discussed some things, they wanna hold a trial."

"They have suspects?"

"Rodney, you are the suspect…"

"I'm sorry?" Rodney said disbelieving.

"Rodney you were found passed out on the floor, covered in blood from both of you. Caldwell wanted to have you placed in security. John however, agreed to guard you…sort of, to make sure no one hurts you."

"And I'm just supposed to comply and go along with whatever you say…be a good little boy?"

"Rodney I'm sorry. I have little control over this. Believe me, if I did, you'd be sleeping in your own bed."

"Great, so how do I convince them that I'm no killer?"

"Aye, I know, my only suggestion is to try and remember to tell them all you know."

"This sucks," muttered Rodney.

"Aye that it does. I'm sorry lad; however until further notice you are under my supervision and are not to be bothered. So get some sleep as much as you can, I'll be here if you need me."

"Carson…"

"I'm not leaving ye lad, never," Carson watched the ocean blue eyes blink once, then slid closed. With a weary sigh he climbed into the bed next to Rodney's and curled on his side, wrapping a blanket around his shoulders and allowing sleep to claim him as well.

o0o

"The entire since department had something to gain from killing the guy off Elizabeth, good god, the man was a pain in the ass," John stated as the continued to make a list of people who could be considered as suspects.

"Okay, well we can certainly narrow it down…"

"To what Liz, a few dozen people, that's still a large amount of people…"

"John, focus please, we should question Kavanagh, Zelenka, obviously Rodney, and Dr. Wayborne. Sadly we need to question Laura since she arrived there…"

"What about Dr. Mikeston? I've heard a couple of their encounters while down in Rodney's lab, they lack pleasance."

"Sounds good, was there anything on the pipe you guys founds?"

"No, nothing but McKay's and DeVore's blood…this is a regular old attempted frame up."

"Yeah and somehow McKay's right in the middle of it…"

"Did anyone hear you two talking this morning?"

"Not that I know of, it wasn't like we were shouting or yelling. In fact Rodney seemed down right annoyed that he even had to tell me about what was going on…he doesn't like firing his people…"

"I know he does…look Liz, there's a very good chance that someone may bring up some of Rodney's….accidents…"

"Accidents?" questioned Elizabeth.

"I just want you both to be prepared if someone asks about the Aratucus project…or even Gaul…"

"Who would bring those up?"

"I heard a couple other scientists discussing it…a lot of scientists believe in Rodney and what he does and they like him most of the time…but apparently there are still some who have their doubts in him…and I don't want their words during this…hearing to be a surprise."

"Who's judging?"

"Well…it can't be me, and it can't be you…"

"Why can't it be me?" Elizabeth asked.

"For the same reason it can't be me or Carson, we've only got supremely biased points of view, lets face it Elizabeth, we've known Rodney the longest, we're far more likely to say innocent when everyone else things guilty…"

"But he is innocent!" Elizabeth stated.

"We all know that, and that's the problem, you said yourself we have to make this as fair as possible…Zelenka set it up so people could vote for who they wanted as a judge of sorts…"

"And?" Elizabeth asked.

"They chose Teyla."

"Wow, really?" Elizabeth smiled at this, while she knew Teyla loved Rodney like a brother, she also knew that Teyla would give a fair hearing; this meant more however, if people chose Teyla for judge, they saw what many had seen in her from the very beginning, truth, passion and strength. Teyla had a way about her that spoke justice.

"I didn't think you'd be disappointed, don't worry Liz, everything will be just fine."

o0o

John stepped into the infirmary, pleased to see Rodney standing on his feet packing the few items he had been brought for his short stay in the infirmary. Carson was by his side, no doubt arguing the hundreds of good reasons why Rodney should remain in the infirmary.

"Hey Bones," grinned John as he joined Carson and his brother by their side.

"Would you please tell your wanker of a brother that he needs more rest…you have a concussion…" Carson began.

"You've let me out before with more than this, please Carson…"

"Carson, I'll take him back to his quarters, he'll be more comfortable there anyway," John offered.

"I don't need a babysitter Colonel," hissed Rodney.

"I'm not offering you a babysitter Doctor; I'm offering you a personal guard you know that isn't some ass hole who will turn his back on you at a bad time. I'm also offering you a chance to get your ass out of here. Do you want help or not?"

The blue eyes stared at John for a moment, as though weighing his options, with a grunt he quickly thrust the bag into John's hand and stalked away from them, leaving John and Carson in his wake.

"Cranky wanker," mumbled Carson.

"This will be fun," grumbled John as he eyed Carson and followed his brother out of the infirmary.

"I didn't kill anyone," stated Rodney.

"Never said ya did Rod, no one really believes you did this, but we've gotta conduct ourselves in a proper manor…essentially we're having this hearing because we don't want people to honestly think someone can get away with murder."

"I know…I just hope other people agree with you about my innocence."

"They will don't worry, besides they're not the judge," grinned John.

"What do you know?" Rodney asked as they made their way into his quarters.

"Teyla is your judge."

"Really? That's comforting," Rodney said smiling.

"Don't worry, no one is blaming you," John said patting his brother on the hand.

o0o

Atlantis was in an uproar by the time Saturday rolled around and the hearing was to begin. It was set up similar to that on Earth, Teyla was at the very front, looking strong and sure, there was no jury because it was just a hearing. The room was set up for a large audience of anyone who wanted to come and most had.

There were several people standing in the back of the large room. Up front, John sat beside Rodney, the gun in his holster armed and ready should any need arise. Elizabeth sat on the other side of Rodney, with Zelenka, Laura, Dr. Wayborne and several others nearby.

"Let us begin," Teyla spoke in strong conviction, "Dr. Weir wishes me to make it abundantly clear that this is only a hearing to determine what happened to Dr. DeVore. Once we have determined this then we shall go from there. We also ask that you give everyone the respect they deserve during this time and listen to everything they have to say and not interrupt. With that note we shall begin, Doctor Wayborne, would you please approach and tell everyone what you heard and saw," Teyla spoke.

The gray haired man nodded and moved over to the chair that was sitting beside Teyla. "Ah…unlike some scientists I am not oblivious to what really goes on here, like many of the others I had…serious troubles with Dr. DeVore, he was a stubborn man…perhaps more so than most scientists. We are all abrasive and strong willed, but DeVore had confidence in abundance and little else. Anyway DeVore and I had been working on a project together earlier this week…needless to say we had clashed on many things. Shortly after having dinner I spoke with Dr. Zelenka who was having trouble with the project DeVore and I had worked on only hours earlier. I went down to speak with DeVore. Upon arriving at his lab I found Dr. McKay sprawled on the floor, nearby Dr. DeVore, I was about to call for medical assistance when Lieutenant Cadman came by looking for Dr. McKay."

"Very well, is there anything you wish to add?" Teyla questioned.

"No…except…I do not believe Dr. McKay could have done something like this, he becomes annoy with many of us, but I have seen him work with scientists, he does not like seeing us hurt or in trouble. He listened to us for many days about DeVore before finally speaking to Dr. Weir…he does not like losing his people."

Wayborne's eyes met Rodney's, "thank you," Rodney replied softly.

"Thank you Doctor," Teyla spoke.

Things continued this way for nearly twenty minutes, until finally Teyla looked up at Rodney and nodded, "Rodney, come," she said softly.

Rodney nodded hesitantly, gave a quick glance to his brother and headed up to sit in the chair by Teyla's side. "Slowly Rodney, please tell us what you remember," she said kindly.

"I…Early this morning I was approached by Dr. Zelenka, he approached me with the common complaint the Dr. DeVore was causing trouble. Anyway after a short discussion, Zelenka and I decided it was time to do something about this. So…I went to Dr. Weir. She was understanding, but she made it very clear that if we were going to send him home…then I had to be the one to tell him and why. After dinner…" Rodney paused again as he eyed Carson and John, both men nodded to their best friend, "after dinner I went down to speak with him, I was going to deliver the bad news to DeVore, then head to the common room for a movie we had set up…I arrive at eighteen hundred hours…I stepped into the room and found it…eerily empty and quiet. I called out to him…but he didn't reply. I stepped around his desk to see where he was…"

"Why didn't you just leave?" came a voice from the onlookers.

"Yeah!" piped up another voice.

"Quiet!" called Teyla, "we will give him the chance to speak," she replied. "Continue Rodney," Teyla nodded to him.

"I was concerned…so I stepped around the office…I found him on the floor…I reached down to check for a pulse when I heard a sound…" he paused searching his mind for what had happened next, "I…turned…" he shook his head looking at Teyla.

"What?" she asked gently.

"That's just it…I don't even remember getting hit…one minute I had turned to see what the noise was and the next minute Wayborne was asking if I was okay…"

"Thank you Rodney…you may have a seat," she smiled gently to him.

"You're not really going to let him off just like that!" cried one Doctor.

"Yeah! What about all the others…"

"What others?" Teyla questioned.

"Gaul…Lindstrom…Peter…" Rodney blanched at these accusations.

"Rodney didn't kill any of them and we do know that for a fact. Besides, he is not being questioned about any of those, he has been questioned," Teyla said simply.

"So now what?" asked another voice, "we're just going to go on with our lives like this never happened and pretend someone was just murdered?"

"We will find the killer, however until then we will continue the way we always do on Atlantis, Dr. McKay will return to his position as head of the Science department," Teyla again spoke with confidence. "This hearing is adjourned," stated Teyla as she struck the table she sat at with a gavel and smiled.

o0o

The next few days were quiet; they continued their search for who had murdered DeVore; however they still continued about their normal way.

Rodney sighed as he rubbed his temples wearily as he listened to Wilson, and Hudson continued their arguing, "Would you two stop!" he growled.

A pair of gray eyes snapped up and glared at him, "sorry," the man mumbled.

"Would you two get out of here! You're distracting me and I'm actually trying to get work done here!" growled Rodney. He watched the two men huff and walk out of the room, continuing their arguing out in the hall.

Rodney heard their arguing finally disappear and he paused, he quickly reached out and tapped his radio, "John…where are you?"

"In the jumper bay…why?"

"Could you come to my lab please…and quickly?"

"Sure thing."

John arrived a few minutes later with a smile on his face, "what's up little brother?" he asked grinning.

"I think I know who killed DeVore…"

o0o

Rodney sat at lunch with Elizabeth and Carson the next afternoon when he got tapped, "Dr. McKay, this is Wilson…I could use your help by the Northwest pier…" called the scientist.

Rodney looked at his two friends and smiled weakly, "Be right there Wilson," he muttered.

It didn't take him too long to get down to the Northwest Pier. He arrived and looked around hesitantly, "Wilson?" he called as he headed into one of the labs.

"You weren't supposed to walk in!" growled Wilson as he suddenly came out from one of the labs, a gun drawn on Rodney.

"What?" Rodney played dumb.

"You weren't supposed to walk in! Then suddenly you just popped up outta nowhere! Admit it McKay! You wanted him dead just as badly as the rest of us!" growled the man.

"I didn't want anyone to die!" yelled McKay.

"Liar!" screamed Wilson as the gun wavered, "I heard you! You told Dr. Weir you wanted him shot…pitched over the side or whatever!"

"I was joking! Listen to me Wilson, no matter how big an idiot DeVore was, he was an innocent man, he didn't do anything to warrant death!"

"You strut around! Like your some top dog! All you really are is Weir's lapdog! You're nothing, no smarter than anyone else!" he hissed.

"Wilson, put the gun down…"

"No! I finally have you where I want you as well! When you walked in I saw my chance, I could kill two bastards in one!" growled the man.

"Wilson, if you kill me, everyone will know…"

"How? No one even knows you're down here!"

"My brother will kick your ass! You'll be going to jail…"

"Like how you sent Higgs home with a broken nose!"

"He risked lives! Just like you are! This is crazy Wilson! You're not thinking straight…"

"You're the problem here! Not me!" screamed Wilson.

"Wilson, we can help you…" Rodney began.

"I don't want help! I want you out of the way!" yelled Wilson as he cocked the gun.

"Freeze!" came the stern voice from behind Wilson.

He turned and was stunned to see John standing right behind him, his P90 pointed at the man's chest. "Took you long enough!" gasped Rodney as he gripped his chest.

"Sorry Rodney, but we needed to hear everything," grinned John. Suddenly Elizabeth, Caldwell, Ronan, Carson, Zelenka and Teyla all stepped forward.

"Wait a minute…" began Wilson.

"Sorry Wilson, we've got it all on tape, you're going away for a very long time," stated Elizabeth as Ronan stepped forward and grabbed the man by the shoulder propelling him out of the room.

"You did good Rod," John grinned as he clapped his brother on the shoulder.

---------------

John gracefully jumped over the back of the couch, landing between Teyla and Rodney, both glaring at him, "that's why mom liked me more, you know that right," Rodney stated as he wrapped his arm around Elizabeth's shoulder.

"Yeah well…for the week after the nuke…she definitely loved me more," grinned John.

"Can we watch the bloody movie now?" Carson asked as he joined the group and handed out two bowls of pop corn.

Rodney took one, hording it, "hey!" he cried as John reached across him for a handful.

"Boys," Elizabeth said warningly as Rodney tried to hide the bowl between the two of them.

"Are we going to watch the movie, or watch these two?" Teyla questioned.

"I'll turn the movie on," chuckled Laura as she flipped the screen on.

John smiled as he leaned back and wrapped his arm around Teyla's shoulder, Elizabeth leaned into Rodney's loving embrace as she quickly got into the movie, and Laura sat beside Rodney, also focusing on the new movie. Rodney smiled as he pressed a kiss to Elizabeth's temple, just relieved to be alive and well.


	60. Atlantis' Hero

Author's Note: Anyway hope you all like this chapter, obviously it's based of SG1, but it's a wonderful chapter all by itself, it was hard and good to write. This is to honor all our soldiers, officers, fireman and anyone who protects us every day!

Chapter Sixty: Atlantis' Hero

"This is Lieutenant William Collins, coming to you from the Pegasus Galaxy. After a very exuberant and clear response from the other members of this base, Dr. Elizabeth Weir has encouraged all of us to record messages to our families and friends. Dad, I know you worry about me, but I want you to know we're doing well here! I've made the coolest friends and gotten to know a lot of people. You'd be proud, Pop…"

o0o

The morning on Atlantis had dawned early; Elizabeth sat in her office looking over the mission reports when Rodney stepped into her office. "Good morning," he greeted her.

"Hey, come on in."

"Lieutenant Andrews just left for MG4-689…Collins has also descended upon the science department," he grinned.

"You're not avoiding this are you Rodney?" Elizabeth asked as her favorite scientist took a seat from across her. "You seemed excited about the idea of sending another information burst."

"Oh I am, it's just…" he shrugged.

"Are you afraid Jeannie may not want to see it?"

"Yeah, I guess that's probably it. Honestly Liz, everyone I care about is here…"

"I know how you feel," she replied, smiling softly.

"Are you going to record a message?"

"Yes…I thought I'd send one to my brother…You could send one to Sam; thank her for helping you," grinned Elizabeth.

"She'd really think I was crazy then," joked Rodney.

"Maybe, but I think you'll be surprised. Tell her what you've learned in the past few months. Tell Jeannie you still love her," Elizabeth said softly.

"Maybe I will," he replied softly.

"Hey…how about lunch later today?" Elizabeth asked.

"Sounds great," Rodney replied as he headed out of her office.

Elizabeth smiled as she watched him head off, there was something about Rodney, but even more, there was something about their relationship. They had grown much closer in the past several months. Although she had always cared for him, she had slowly fallen for him over the past two and a half years. He had a way of driving everyone to the brink of both their sanity and their ability to work. He expected everyone to do their best and nothing less, because he never gave less than his best.

o0o

"What should I say?" Doctor Carson Beckett asked as he looked at the camera.

"Whatever you want, it's kinda documentary/message home to our folks. So feel free to be open, they'll be separated… Let's start with what you do here on Atlantis," grinned Collins.

"Ah…okay, well I'm the chief Medical officer, or CMO. I…I'm the head doctor…" he shrugged.

"Tell us what you like about being here?"

"Like about it…The people I suppose," Carson agreed. "Aye, definitely the people, we're strong people here…we try desperately to care about one another…that's one thing I've learned being on this base, ye get to know everyone…I see just about everyone, if not for regular exams, then for other minor injuries."

"Great. Do you mind if I speak with your staff and some of the patients?" Collins' asked.

"Not at all, just don't get in the way," Carson instructed.

"Thanks Doc!" called Collins as he smiled at the retreating back. "This is our infirmary, where we get our scrapes, bumps, bruises, and more serious injuries taken care of by the best of the best. And speaking of which, here's one of our newest crew members! Dr. Pileggi!" Collins greeted.

The blonde woman smiled at the younger military officer, "Hi Collins," she grinned. He was a cute kid; only twenty-two and full of life.

"Hi Doc, I'm…ah making a documentary thing for our families back home…Obviously we can't tell them a whole lot…but well Stargate Command is gonna see it too!" he grinned.

"Oh, well in that case, Hi! I'm Becky Pileggi! Will is right, I just recently came here to Atlantis, probably about three weeks ago…Actually, the very first day I was here I met Will," she grinned as she watched the blush rush across the handsome younger man's face.

"Oh good, I see you're introducing my favorite youngin'," Carson said grinning as he patted Becky on the back. "She's my finest and youngest doctor," grinned Carson as he waved to the camera.

"Carson!" Rodney yelled as he rushed into the infirmary, holding a screaming Lauryn in his arms as he held her foot tightly with one hand.

"Ah, you can meet another one of our finest members of Atlantis," Carson reached out and took the screaming baby, "This is our youngest member of the Atlantis team, Lauryn." The baby sniffled a few times then reached out to touch the camera in Will's hands, causing all the adults to chuckle softly.

"This is our Chief of Science, Doctor Rodney McKay," Collins introduced as he pointed the camera at Rodney.

"Ah, thanks Will. Could you get the camera out of my face? Carson, Lauryn cut her foot," Rodney pointed out.

"Aye, I can see that Rodney. Come here lass." Carson moved away from Will; followed closely by Rodney.

"We'll see more of Dr. McKay, later," grinned Will as he looked into the camera.

"As you can see we've always got something going on here on Atlantis," grinned Becky as she looked into the camera.

"Becky, could you please come help me!" called Carson.

"Sorry, that's my cue," she waved goodbye to both the camera and Will then headed to help Carson with Lauryn.

Carson smiled as Lauryn continued to fight against her father and uncle. "There, there lass, if ye hold still I can fix this up for ye in no time," Carson whispered as he tried to catch her foot; however when he touched the alcohol swab to the bottom of her heel the baby let out another scream.

"Shh, it's okay baby," whispered Rodney.

"What was she doin'?" asked Carson as he looked at her foot.

"Walking…I dropped a glass last night, I thought I got all the glass up, apparently I was wrong," Rodney sighed.

"Don't worry 'bout it lad, if she hadn't found it you would have. It isn't your fault. Becky could you find some milk or chocolate for this wee one," Carson asked.

"Sure thing, Doctor." Smiling, Becky waved to the baby before heading off to complete her task.

Carson sighed as Lauryn continued to get away from both Rodney and Carson. She twisted in her father's arms, fighting the pain in her foot and her daddy's strong grip, "Shh, its okay, daddy's got you," he whispered pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"Okay, okay, Uncle Carson is done cleaning, now he just has to wrap it. You're okay," he whispered gently, trying to soothe the child. Big blue eyes looked at him, filled with thick tears, others still cascading down her cheeks. He reached out and gently wiped away the tears "See, I'm not so bad, am I," he whispered as he held out his arms to the girl.

She instantly went went to him, allowing Carson to cuddle her for a moment. She whimpered slightly as she complied with everything else he said and allowed Becky, who had returned, to finish fixing her foot.

After she was all finished she craned her head to look at her Uncle Carson, "See that wasn't too terrible. Keep her off that foot for about a week. She may not like that, but it'll help. If it hurts, just give her some baby aspirin, she'll be right as rain in no time." Carson pressed a kiss to the baby's head and handed her back to Rodney.

"Thank you," Rodney replied smiling as he took his daughter back into his arms. She instantly clung to him.

Carson smiled, he had watched a huge difference in Rodney. When they had first found her nearly a year ago, Carson was fairly sure Rodney would have freaked if this had happened then. Now however, he was used to having her around and when things did happen to her, he was aware that he couldn't always protect his child.

"Any time lad," Carson smiled as Rodney stood and headed out the door with his precious cargo in arm, which was already starting to avidly babble to him.

o0o

"There's my beautiful girl," Elizabeth smiled as she lifted Lauryn into her arms. She frowned at the sight of the baby's foot, "What happened?"

"She stepped on a sliver of glass a little while ago. Needless to say she had a little visit to our resident doctor," grinned Rodney as he sat down at the table.

"You poor thing." Elizabeth smiled as she pressed a kiss to the girl's head.

"That girl is spoiled rotten," Carson stated as he joined the table, sitting down beside his two best friends.

"What are you talking about? You spoil her more than I do," Rodney pointed.

"I do not!" Carson tried to defend himself.

"Of course ye do, who was the one who insisted we give her a birthday part fit for a princess?" Rodney stated.

"Say hi guys!" came Collins' voice as he pointed the camera at the three friends and the baby.

"I think I've shown up on this thing at least ten times now," commented Carson as he waved to the camera.

"Will, are you actually filming anything factual? Because there's a lot more to what we do here…than just listening to these two argue," Elizabeth spoke firmly, but held a deep smile on her face.

"Uh…I filmed a little with the science department. Dr. Zelenka decided to show off some of his work, but not much before someone mentioned it was classified. Oh…and I got some from the infirmary…but they also…stopped me," he whispered.

"Well, you're doing a fine job William. I'm sure of it," Carson affirmed with a smile.

"You could take it on a mission," offered Rodney.

"How is that not classified, but your projects are?" Carson raised an eye brow.

"It was just an offer. Besides the SGC is going to see this long before our families, there's no reason why they shouldn't know what we do on a day to day basis."

"Actually that's not such a bad idea. I mean, we report to them our findings, it's not like we're going to film something huge, and we don't have to keep everything we film. We can always delete it if it reveals too much information," Elizabeth smiled.

"Really? That would be cool!" Will exclaimed.

"I don't see why not. Lieutenant Andrews will be returning in a couple hours to decide if there's any further reason to return to the planet. If they decide there is, you're more than welcome to go."

"Is…is there anything exciting to do?" questioned Will.

"Does it matter?" questioned Rodney, trying to hide his grin.

"Rod, be nice," Carson spouted.

"I suppose not…" whispered Will.

"Don't worry Will, I'll even go with you," Rodney offered.

"Really?" Will smiled.

"Sure, why not? You can finally get that interview, maybe I can even get John to sit down and focus long enough to talk to you too," grinned Rodney.

"UNSCHEDULED OFF WORLD ACTIVATION!" the yell came over the intercom system as the sirens started going off.

"Let's go!" ordered Elizabeth as she stood up.

They made their way to the gate room as fast as they could, and Zelenka looked up at them from his control system. "What's going on?" Elizabeth questioned as she handed Lauryn off to Rodney.

"It's AR-5…Lieutenant Andrews' team…"

"Dr. Weir! We're under an ambush! They've taken Peters out…Daniels is badly injured…We can't maintain our position, please send reinforcements!" came Andrews' plea.

"Elizabeth…" John ran up the stairs from the gate room, followed closely by Major Lorne.

"Lorne, John have your teams ready in ten minutes and no less. Carson take whatever you can, one other doctor, and a nurse. Make sure they know how to use guns!" Elizabeth directed, then turned to Will, "Sorry Collins, not today."

"Ma'am…" Collins began as everyone else hurried off to get ready for the rescue mission.

"Collins…" began Elizabeth.

"Please, I want to help…"

"I said 'no' Collins. I'm sorry, this isn't your battle…not today. Take Lauryn to the play room…"

"Yes ma'am," he whispered.

"I'm sorry Will, but someone could get hurt, and I'm already sending people into a situation I know very little about…"

"I understand," whispered Collins.

o0o

"Dr. McKay!" Collins walked into the prep room looking at the scientist.

"Collins," began Rodney.

"Just take the camera, if you get a chance…Just incase, please?"

"Fine. Get out of here, we've gotta go!" Rodney stated as he took the small video camera.

Ten minutes later Lorne's team, Sheppard's, Doctor Beckett, Becky Pileggi, and Nurse DeSantos were prepared to leave. Elizabeth looked at them, their faces filled with determination. "Be safe," she called, unsure what else to say.

"Let's go! Major Lorne you take out sixes, I'll take lead with Ronan; Teyla and Rodney, take our sides. We're not scientist or doctors right now guys, we're soldiers!"

Without a look back they then stepped through the gate into absolute chaos. Thefirst thng John noticed was Wraith everywhere. "Andrews!" yelled John as he spotted the Lieutenant running towards them, the man was covered in blood.

"We're losing our hold sir…We've tried….they came out of nowhere!"

"That's okay son. Are you up to taking Doctor Beckett to Daniels?"

"Yes!" the man replied.

"Good. Doctor Beckett, you and your team take Teyla go find Daniels, get him secured and stable. Do not wait for us if you don't have to. Once stable, get him and Andrews the hell off this planet. Lorne take south of the gate with two of your men, Ronan you take north, Rodney and I will head east. Spread out, but keep your hold and don't get close enough for them to touch you!"

With nods all around; they quickly spread out. Rodney ran with John to one area, his P90 close to his side as he and John began to fire. "Where the hell did they come from?" asked Rodney as he continued to fire upon several of the Wraith that were coming towards them.

"I don't know, but let's hope this is it!" John returned.

"Colonel Sheppard, I'm with Daniels. It looks pretty bad, I'm not sure we can continue to hold them off!" cried Carson as he looked down at Daniels.

"Just do your best, Doc!" called John in return.

"Right, lad." Carson removed the shirt from the gapping wound in Daniel's stomach. He had seen worse, but he also knew that people could die from much less. "This is gonna hurt, son. Becky, I need more pressure to stop the bleeding!"

"Yes, sir!" Becky quickly handed it over.

Carson nodded a thanks as he looked over at Teyla and DeSantos, "How's Andrews?"

"Coming along sir, he's got a pretty nasty head wound, serious concussion, it's a miracle he's made it this long!" called DeSantos.

"Aye, I agree, I can't get Daniels stable! I need to start an IV!" called Carson.

"Colonel, I think it would be wise to call in more back up!" Carson called over his radio.

"This is Major Lorne! I'll do it, we're closest to the gate!" called the Major.

"I've got a problem here! John's been taken out!" screamed Rodney over his radio. He looked over to his brother as he got up, and ran over to the form of his collapsed brother.

"John!" he cried out as he shook his brother, but the gun wound to John's chest was what worried Rodney the most. "Carson?" cried Rodney, "I really need help!"

"This is Teyla! Both Dr. Beckett and Pileggi have been hit!" she cried frantically.

Rodney looked up at the approaching Wraith. Grabbing his brother's P90 he started pulling the trigger. "I need back up!" he yelled.

"We need to fall back to the gate!" Lorne's voice crackled over the radio.

"I can't…." Rodney hissed in pain as a shot grazed his arm. "I've taken fire!" he screamed. He gripped his arm, a Wraith stepped towards him. "Help!" cried Rodney.

Suddenly the wraith went down, a single gun shot in the middle of his head; Rodney turned and saw Ronan standing over him and John. "Let's go McKay!" Ronan cried.

Rodney shook in fear and nodded as he grabbed his brother's arm. Ronan followed suit and grabbed John's legs. "Are you all right?" Ronan managed to ask.

"No…" mumbled Rodney.

o0o

"What happened?" Collins asked from where he stood looking at the massive amount of Medical crew and military personnel.

"They lost their foothold. Now isn't a good time, Collins," whispered Elizabeth as she watched from above, knowing that if she went down there she would only be in the way.

Everyone watched the flurry of activity as the gate room was turned into the medical facility to stabilize everyone. Elizabeth sighed as she met Teyla's stare. The dark doe brown eyes were filled with tears of doubt, fear, and sadness.

Elizabeth moved into her office, collapsing in her chair no more than twenty minutes later. Face in her hands, she felt the tears starting to over flow. "Liz…" came the soft whisper.

She looked up to see Rodney standing there, his arm heavily wrapped in a sling. Tears stained his red cheeks, still covered in blood; whether his own or John's she wasn't sure. "Shouldn't you be in the infirmary?"

"Yeah…they, uh…they did a triage…Wrapped me up real quick and told me to come back in two hours…They're having a pretty rough time…uh…I just wanted to see how you were doing…"

"I…how many?" she whispered.

"Five are dead, three badly injured, the rest of us have fairly minor injuries. Few got away with no injuries…" he whispered.

"I…I…" she shook her head in remorse.

"Get me names so we can contact the families….Get them to me tomorrow," she whispered softly.

"It shouldn't have happened," whimpered Rodney. Elizabeth nodded as she stood up and moved to him. "They aren't even soldiers, just doctors…and scientists," he whispered.

"Shh, I know," Elizabeth whispered gently as she pulled Rodney into a hug.

The two friends clung to one another, searching for hope through the obvious pain that filled their hearts. "He wasn't supposed to protect us…He was a healer…" anguished Rodney.

"I know, I know." Elizabeth felt her gates open as she joined Rodney in the tears. Five were dead, three more could easily follow, and even Rodney hadn't walked away unscathed.

"What do we do now?" whispered Rodney.

"I don't know, I wish I did. We fight for them, since they can't do it themselves," replied Elizabeth as she gently rubbed his back. "Did they already stitch you up?"

"No…they mentioned butterfly stitches," sighed Rodney.

"All right, sit down on my couch, I've got a first aid kit. I'll fix you up," she whispered.

He watched her move, as if in slow motion, as she unwrapped his arm and swabbed it was some alcohol. Sighing she placed two butterfly stitches on the large gash. "How's the pain?" she asked softly.

"Sucks…but they were busy," he hissed.

Elizabeth knew it had to be really bad if Rodney admitted it, and if he was willing to push it aside. She nodded and wrapped it up again, tucking his arm back in the sling they had given him. "You'll need to have them look at it, but you can at least wait a little longer now," she whispered.

"What if John dies?" Rodney stuttered. "What'll I do?"

"Survive Rodney, that's all I can give you. Survive…we've got to stay strong for them."

"I've never been so scared for him in all my life."

"I know. Let's get you something to eat, and maybe go talk to JJ, before he finds out."

"Sounds like a good idea. I could use some coffee," he whispered.

"No Rodney, no coffee, you need real food. Coffee doesn't count," she said gently taking his hand, putting aside her own fears and taking care of him, feeling like she had to do something about all of this.

o0o

"This is Collins. Today…is a bad day…We, uh…we've lost five very important people on this base…Along with three others who are seriously injured…We don't know what's going to happen .but we thought you should know. My original goal with this tape was to show you all the things we do here on Atlantis, but at this point, I'd like to make it more than that. This is a video tribute to those we lost today…to Atlantis' heroes. Just for the record…we all chose this song together…We thought it fit us well…" Collins smiled sadly for a moment in the camera before turning it off.

o0o

Rodney slipped into the infirmary and looked at the two men laying on the beds beside one another, swathed in blankets and bandages, their faces pale like the sheets covering their bodies.

He felt tears filling his eyes as he looked at his two closest friends. "You," he shook his head, he didn't know what to do; it wasn't supposed to happen like this. This wasn't how they were meant to die, not like this, not now.

He took another step forward; he hadn't come to visit in the past two days: it hurt too much to see them lying there, dying. It wasn't fair. He reached out and touched the hand of his best friend. "You're a doctor…you aren't meant to die like this," he whispered softly.

"Rodney…" came the soft voice.

Rodney turned to see Laura Cadman standing there, tears trailing down her cheeks. He had never seen her cry, or crack under pressure. She had been one of the last few to come to the planet, just in time to watch them cart Carson over to the gate, covered in his own blood.

"They said he…the next few hours will be the factor," she whispered softly.

"Yeah, I heard…but he's still here Laura," whispered Rodney, squeezing her hand.

"I…How's John?" she asked softly.

"He's still in a coma; DeSantos said she doesn't know when he'll wake up. Probably whenever the damage has a chance to heal itself."

"I never thought I'd be the one deal with this fear. I always thought it would be Carson who'd have to wait for me to return from some mission or another."

"Yeah,none of us our safe," he whispered in response.

"Collins is making a memorial tape for us, and the SGC, family members of the dead. Elizabeth said she was going to have a memorial service tomorrow…"

"I heard. I told Collins I'd give him his interview."

"Did you tell him about Becky?" she whispered. "They had been friends, not close, but Laura had enjoyed Becky's company.

"Yeah, I thought he'd like to know from someone who was there…"

"I've lost a lot of friends, but this is so much harder," whispered Cadman.

"Yeah…it is…"

o0o

Daniel looked over at Vala and smiled softly as he popped the tape in. They all sat down together in the room, most of the SGC had heard about what had happened on Atlantis. So when they had received the tape, they all decided to put aside their daily activities and watch what was sure to be a very powerful video.

"Ready?" whispered Daniel looking at his friends.

"Yeah," Sam's replied standing by the doorway. This all hit too close to home for a few of them who could still recall Janet's death three years ago.

Daniel nodded and pushed the play on the control, then turned his eyes to the black screen.

"Strength does not come from physical capacity.  
It comes from an Indomitable Will."

"Welcome to Atlantis! I'm Collins, and this is our world. Not everything on this tape has security clearance, and some of it is pretty scary. But to understand why some have died…we feel you have the right to know what's going on."

"This is our Mess," Collins introduced as he moved around and caught various members waving to the camera. "And these are our intrepid leaders; Doctor Rodney McKay, Doctor Carson Beckett, and Doctor Elizabeth Weir. And the cute little girl is our favorite member of the Atlantis expedition, Lauryn McKay."

_When the dark wood fell before me_

_And all the paths were overgrown_

_When the priests of pride say there is no other way_

_I tilled the sorrows of stone_

"The day started out normal for us…Lieutenant Andrews took his team of four through the gate early on Thursday the 25th. It was a simple mission to say the least," Collins explained, "But it became so much more."

_I did not believe because I could not see_

_Though you came to me in the night_

_When the dawn seemed forever lost_

_You showed me your love in the light of the stars_

"I sent them because I've come to learn one thing here on Atlantis: we're resourceful. If I had known we would have lost so many people…I still would have sent them. Here on Atlantis we fight for more than just selfish purpose, we fight for each other. Even if I hadn't sent them, they would have gone on their own. I would like to extend an apology, as well as my condolences, to the families of those who have died…They died doing something they loved…for people they loved. They saved the lives of many more, they have not died in vane," Elizabeth said softly nodding, her eyes red from tears.

_Cast your eyes on the ocean_

_Cast your soul to the sea_

_When the dark night seems endless_

_Please remember me_

"You don't know how important someone is until you've lost them…Doctor Pileggi was new to our family, but she made just as much an impact as those of us who have been here since the beginning. She deserves nothing more and nothing less than the honor of a true soldier. I was with her when she died, I watched her fight until the very end to save Lieutenant Daniels, and she wouldn't have died without knowing he was going to be all right. Thanks to her, we were able to keep one of our finest and youngest Lieutenants here on Atlantis," Teyla spoke firmly as she gave her thoughts.

_Then the mountain rose before me_

_By the deep well of desire_

_From the fountain of forgiveness_

_Beyond the ice and fire_

"After the deaths of Lieutenant Franklin Andrews, Sergeant Kevin Peters, Doctor Rebecca Pileggi, and Doctor Sean Anderson; Elizabeth Weir spoke to me about the possibility of giving a small speech on behalf of them…You don't know how hard it is to find the words. I wasn't nearly as close to many of them as I could have been…but still…We lost some very valuable skills and personalities in their deaths. Deaths that weigh heavily on all of our minds. These individuals all came in the past several months from Earth, with various levels of skills, but they were all more than worthy of being here, if not taking some of our jobs. Yet, even though only arriving so soon, they were like family among us, we were all heavily affected by their loss."

"I can't even begin to imagine how the families are feeling…I nearly lost my brother in this attack…I can only hope that it's understood the work they were doing here was far beyond your wildest dreams. These people took everything they did to the next level, they always gave forth their best and then some. They were strong and more than capable of being here. They didn't die in vein, they died protecting and saving their country, this city and their friends…we owe them…so much more than we can give them," Rodney finished as he looked down at the people standing in the gate room below.

The camera scanned the faces of those sitting there. Among them included Doctor Carson Beckett sitting in a wheelchair, holding Lieutenant Cadman's hand in his. Colonel John Sheppard by his side with Teyla standing next to him. Behind them stood Colonel Caldwell and Dr. Weir. There wasn't a dry face among the hundreds standing around the gate room to support and show their respect to those who had died.

_Cast your eyes on the ocean_

_Cast your soul to the sea_

_When the dark night seems endless_

_Please remember me_

"I love Atlantis, this has become my home," grinned Becky as she looked into the camera.

"Are you glad to be here, working with everyone?" Collins asked from where he stood behind the camera.

"Are you kidding me, giddy would be one word I could use. These people are amazing. I feel like Doctor Beckett has become an older brother to me. He's spent the past month showing me everything there is to see here! I love this place…Don't get me wrong, I miss my family, but I'm really glad I came," Becky replied smiling at the camera.

"Thanks Becky," Collins smiled at her, it was obvious he had a small attraction to her.

_Though we share this humble path, alone_

_How fragile is the heart_

_Oh give these clay feet wings to fly_

_To touch the face of the stars_

"It's a bond unlike anything I've ever seen. The people here are tough, but we're tougher together. I've never seen any group of people pull together in times of need…Some of the relationships we've made here, we've constructed. We're doing important work, but more than that, we're a family," Lieutenant Andrews said smiling.

_Breathe life into this feeble heart_

_Lift this mortal veil of fear_

_Take these crumbled hopes, etched with tears_

_We'll rise above these earthly cares_

Elizabeth looked down at John and smiled as he slowly stood from his wheelchair. Gripping his stomach wearily, he took in hand the wreath she held and together they marched towards the Stargate. "_Cast your eyes on the ocean_," spoke Elizabeth as she and John reached out and placed the wreath into the gate.

"_Cast your soul to the sea_," whispered John as they stood, along with everyone else, at attention; all the military saluting the dead as the wreath slipped through the event horizon.

"_When the dark night seems endless_," Rodney spoke up as he came to stand beside Carson.

"_Please remember me_," Laura spoke as she brought her hand down slowly, along with everyone else. They watched, tears falling down their faces as they bid a final farewell to their dear friends.

"_Please remember me_," finished Collins from behind the camera.

The video closed with several pictures of the members of Atlantis, showing that time, consideration, and love was put into the video.

Daniel sighed as he turned off the tape and glanced up to offer Sam a sympathizing look. "I think we should make copies and send them to the families…They deserve that much," he whispered.

"I'll speak with the President," she whispered, wiping loose tears from her cheeks.

"May they rest in peace," Mitchell whispered from where he sat. His comment was followed by nods all around.


	61. Crossfire

Author's Note: So after several problems of getting this to upload, I finally copied and pasted it to another one. I realize it's five days late, and I apologize about that, but this chapter had several serious problems in it that needed to be recitified before posting. So thanksto NebbyJ for sticking with me and having the patience to actually help me get this fixed, it was major work. Hopefully the next chapter will either be up tomorrow or Wednesday so I can stayasclose to on track as possible. It's been really busy here at school too, so sorry for the delay...now Go, read and enjoy!

Chapter Sixty-One: Crossfire

Daniel Jackson wearily scrubbed at his eye as he slowly woke up and sat in his bed. Then suddenly it dawned on him that in less than an hour Sam would be arriving to drive him to the Daedalus, where they would spend the next eighteen days traveling to the Pegasus Galaxy.

All exhaustion was wiped from his mind as he hurried around to prepare for the day. With a hasty fifteen minute shower, a quick shave and getting dressed, he headed into the kitchen. Upon opening his fridge he grimaced, deciding that pizza and beer wasn't exactly the best breakfast idea he'd ever had. A knock on the door saved him from reaching inside and pulling out the pizza. He headed over to the door and opened it.

"Coffee and doughnuts, the breakfast of intergalactic Champions," Sam presented with a grin.

"You're amazing," Daniel replied as he pressed a kiss to her cheek and took the items from her hands.

"You're just saying that because it's true."

"Let me grab my bags and we can go."

"Yep…Daniel, are you still thinking about staying?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah…I was, but I couldn't, knowing that Vala is still out there somewhere," he spoke softly.

"I thought you hated her," grinned Sam as she eyed her best friend.

"I thought you hated McKay," Daniel shot back as he grabbed his last duffle bag and handed it over to Sam's waiting hands.

"I do hate him."

"Uh-huh, and yet you're still going to Atlantis with me. Why is that?" He locked the door to his apartment and they headed out to her truck.

Sam quickly tossed the gear in the bed of the truck and hopped inside, watching him for a moment as he ate the breakfast she had bought him. "This is bigger than Rodney McKay. So much bigger," she chuckled as she began to drive toward the restricted area, not far from the SGC where they housed the Daedalus on certain days.

"Don't tell him that, he wouldn't like you very much."

"So are you excited?" Sam asked, grinning at the man she loved like a brother.

"I feel like I'm not really going," he replied with another smile of his own.

"Yeah, well you are. Elizabeth contacted me this morning at the SGC, said that they couldn't wait to see us in eighteen days. Oh, and she also said that there will be someone who will be joining us on the Daedalus."

"She mention who?"

"Ah, no, but she said we'd probably like him."

Their trip was full of talk of their last few missions, Vala, Jack, various little memories from the past. Upon arriving, she parked the truck, and the two of them grabbed Daniel's stuff and made their way towards the large ship.

Stephen Caldwell stood at the end of the ramp to the Daedalus, by his side stood a small child, no older than eight or nine.

o0o

Insomnia seemed to be a common disease among those living on Atlantis. Before, during, and after the Wraith attack there had been few who found sleep peacefully. Now with it months behind them, they were able to finally rest.

Then there were those who found themselves so busy with one thing after another that they physically couldn't sleep. These people usually sought one another out for midnight company.

Doctor Carson Beckett hadn't had too many brushes with death in his seemingly young life. However, nearly a month after his serious injury from the ambush, he still found his dreams were plagued by nightmares. He was finally in charge of the infirmary again, and while he knew he should be resting, he was having trouble closing his eyes.

So here he was, sitting at his desk, a coffee at his side, in front of him sat the ultimate game of mental strategy, which had held his attention for the past four nights in a row. Across from his sat his best friend, a cup of coffee in his hand as well, as he also stared deeply at the Chess pieces in front of him.

Rodney couldn't remember ever being so afraid as he had been when both his brother John and his best friend had been seriously injured. He still seemed antsy around the two men. However these recent late night Chess games were easing the tension between the two doctors.

"Give it up lad, I've got ye beat," grinned Carson.

Rodney let out a low sound that was a cross between a laugh and snort before reaching forward and moving his knight, "Checkmate."

"Oh, you wanker," mumbled Carson, his face lighting up in a grin.

"Well Bones, you're playing with a master. So…same time tomorrow?"

"Sounds good, night lad," Carson said behind a stifled yawn as he began placing the pieces back in the box.

"Night buddy."

o0o

Elizabeth smiled as she stood waiting for the arrival of two of their most prominent and anticipated guests. Daniel and Sam were finally coming to Atlantis to stay for nearly a month and a half. She stood at the doorway to the pier that the Daedalus usually docked on and relaxed as the ship slowly set down.

She didn't have to wait long; JJ Sheppard, Colonel Sam Carter, and Doctor Daniel Jackson were three of the first people off the ship. "Sam! Daniel!" she beamed as she greeted her friends with hugs. She had to admit she had missed them. "JJ, how's my favorite little man," she said lifting the boy into her arms.

"It's good to see you again, Elizabeth," Sam said, having not seen her friend in nearly the two years since she had left.

"And you. How are you guys?" she smirked as Daniel dropped a kiss to her cheek.

"We're good…Life is interesting as always," replied Daniel.

"Well, come on then, let me give you the grand tour. I know you've been waiting two years for this," joked Elizabeth as she took her friends' arms and led them through the city.

"This place is…" Daniel just shook his head in amazement.

"Anything beyond our wildest dreams… Yeah, most of us still feel like that," Elizabeth chuckled.

"Have you even explored it all yet?" Sam questioned.

"No, we've gotten to a lot of it, but not nearly as much as we'd like. Dr. McKay has been looking into sufficient ways of searching the rest of the city in the near future, but it's still a lot to look at and it will take a lot of man power."

The small talk continued as they finally reached the gate room. Four people stood in front of the middle of that gate as Sam and Daniel stood in the control room looking down at the team, Sam realized one of them was McKay.

"Daddy!" called JJ as he dropped from Elizabeth's arms.

John opened his arms wide and laughed he hoisted the boy up into his arms and gave him a powerful hug. "Hey there kiddo, how's your mom?" he asked rubbing his son's back.

"Mom says hi! Rob bought me a Disney t-shirt!" JJ exclaimed.

"Good," John said, glad that at least Rob was still trying to be a good stepdad.

"Hello JJ," smiled Teyla as she moved over to the boy.

"Teyla! Oh…I bought you this!" he suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out a beautiful gold locket.

"Show off," mumbled John as JJ wrapped it around Teyla's neck.

"Thank you, it is beautiful," she said as she pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"Uncle Rodney!" JJ reached out to his uncle, smiling as Rodney took him in his arms.

"Little big for this," Rodney grumbled lovingly as he hugged his nephew, then set him on the floor. "Uncle Carson said he'd love to play a game of Chess with you while we're gone."

"Really?" grinned JJ.

"Sure thing, kiddo, and then I'll play you after dinner," Rodney promised.

"Kay, can I go Pop?"

"Go ahead JJ, just be careful and listen to Carson!" Shouted John as his son already disappeared out the hall. John then looked over to Elizabeth and nodded. " Elizabeth, we're ready to go."

"You have a go, John, be safe!"

He acknowledged and together the four friends disappeared into the event horizon. Elizabeth sighed, saying a short prayer to whom or whatever was listening to bring them home safely.

"I'm assuming that's AR-1?" Daniel questioned.

"Yes, this is only their second mission in the past month. Colonel Sheppard suffered…well I'm sure you saw the tape," she whispered, softly nodding to them.

"Yeah, we saw it…"

"It's been a tough month, but they made it, and they're stronger because of it…Well why don't we continue? There's a lot for you guys to see in the short amount of time you have here," Elizabeth forced a smile as she tried to act casual.

o0o

"I'm truly sorry, Colonel, I apologize that you came all this way for nothing. We cannot help you at this time," explained King Chiene as they walked through his high council chambers.

"We understand Sir, truly we do, but is there not some way we could assist you?" Teyla spoke up.

"No, Teyla, I am sorry…This is our war and we shall fight it ourselves. We got ourselves into this mess, we must get ourselves out."

"Well, if you need anything at all, just give us a call," John said sadly as he reached out and shook the man's hand.

"Thank you, Colonel Sheppard, but we should be fine."

"Medicine, anything, we'll be more than willing to help you," Ronan added.

"We know, and if we need it, than we will ask you…Until then, you have to trust us on this, this is our battle: we do not wish to involve your people. You have treated us well, it's our battle."

"Very well…we should head home. Your Highness, please take care of yourself," Sheppard said with a final handshake.

"We shall, and you yourself as well."

"Thanks…let's go guys."

o0o

"It's a little too…quiet," whispered Teyla as they started their trip back to the gate.

"I agree," Rodney replied.

"I feel it too…let's just keep moving…," stated John cautiously.

They didn't get a chance to say another word, before shots rang out through the air. "This can't be good! RUN!" yelled John as he saw two groups coming from either side of the gate towards them and each other.

Ronan was in the lead and easily began to make his way to some rocks nearby that they could use for cover, Teyla propelled herself and Rodney forward, and John took up the rear as he also tried to watch what was happening. He was fairly sure these people weren't shooting at them…but each other.

"RODNEY!" cried Teyla.

John looked around just in time to see Rodney try to dive around the rock, only to take a bullet right to his stomach. He hit the ground like a rock. "RODNEY!" John yelled as he ran and dragged his brother to safety.

The scientist's pain-filled blue eyes opened and he cried out in agony, his ragged pleas joining those of the others who were still fighting on the field. John looked at the bloody wound that was already starting to pool over before pressing his hand to the site in hopes of staunching the flow.

"Sheppard! We need to move! We're not safe here," Ronan spoke.

"I know…Go; find the closest thing we can use for shelter, a cave, a house, whatever! Then get back here. I'll need your help to carry Rodney…God, there's so much blood," whispered John as he looked down at the mess in front of him.

"Colonel, we must stop the bleeding," Teyla spoke swiftly, removing her pack and digging out the first aid kit.

"Rodney, buddy, I need you to focus," John soothed as he squeezed his brother's shoulder.

"Oh…god!" Rodney cried again, as he continued to writhe in pain, his hands grasping at his stomach where the gaping wound bled freely.

"We're going to try and stop the bleeding…" Teyla began.

"I'm gonna die!" Rodney whimpered, looking up at his brother as he continued to moan.

"Shh, Rodney, you're not going to die," John offered gently as he gripped one of Rodney's blood soaked hands.

Teyla looked from John to Rodney's already paling face as she pressed the dressing to Rodney's stomach, causing the scientist to cry out in further pain. "Shhh, I am sorry," she whispered gently as she squeezed his other hand.

"I…" he shook his head as he continued to moan.

"Hey, hey, focus here buddy, focus on me," John encouraged as he pressed his free hand to his brother's cheek.

"Sheppard!" Ronan came running over quickly, "There's a small cave no more than a few minutes from here…We can make it."

"Grab an arm…" began John.

"No, I'll carry him," Ronan offered.

Rodney looked up into the dark, normally animal like eyes, and saw sympathy there. "Hurts," he whispered.

"I know." Ronan slipped one hand under the scientist's knees, and another around his shoulders, pulling him close.

"Just do it," whimpered Rodney as he curled tighter to protect his side in Ronan's grip.

By the time they made it to the small cave, Rodney was blissfully unconscious in the warrior's arms. Ronan gently lay him down on the ground before looking to Teyla, "Continue keeping pressure on his wound…he has already lost a great deal of blood."

"Ronan, go watch what's going on. As soon as it's clear, we'll make a break for the gate," John stated.

"You wish to carry him?" Teyla asked suddenly unsure.

"We don't leave our people behind, Teyla," John growled through gritted teeth.

"And I understand that, Colonel. But certainly…you must understand he's lost a great deal of blood, if we carry him through the gate, he could die."

"I don't know if you've noticed, Teyla, but he's already dying…" John began before Ronan cut him off.

"She's right; he would only slow us down."

"I'm not leaving him!" John snapped impatiently.

"Then let us go back. We will get Carson, bring him here," Teyla suggested.

"No," John began shaking his head, "he's coming. I won't leave him here. Not like this. Either we go with him, or we don't go at all. That's an order," he said harshly. "We'll stabilize him the best we can. Ronan you go ahead let them know we're coming."

"What about him, how do you expect to carry him by yourself," the runner pointed out.

"Fine then, Teyla, you go let them know. We'll get Rodney ready."

"John," Teyla paused, "we can be back before dark, and it would be safer if we had a doctor to be here."

"Fine, go," John finally mumbled. "I'll stay here with him…but hurry," he whispered.

"We will. Be safe," she whispered, removing the remaining medical supplies from her pack, placing them within John's reach. The thin emergency blanket and two bottles of water, along with her limited first aid kit looked sparse compared to the brevity of the situation, but the pilot nodded in acceptance.

"Go!" he yelled one last time as they hesitated, before they both turned and disappeared out the cave entrance. John looked down at his brother lying limply in his arms.

o0o

"UNCSCHEDULED OFF WORLD ACTIVATION !" came the call from one of the technicians standing in the control room. Elizabeth looked up from where she had been chatting with Daniel and Sam.

"Who is it?" she asked as she hurried over to the man.

"It's Teyla…."

"Atlantis, this is Teyla, we are in need of medical assistance!" Teyla tried to remain calm as she yelled.

Seconds later both she and Ronan appeared. Elizabeth was stunned to see them both covered in blood. "What the hell happened? Where's John and Rodney?" she demanded in shock.

"It is a long story," Teyla began as she watched Ronan run out the doors, obviously headed towards the infirmary. "We went through the gate, spoke to the king. On our way back we were caught in a simple cross fire. Rodney was hit; John is standing watch over him."

"Oh my god—how bad?" Elizabeth asked as she paled two shades.

"Very bad," Teyla whispered.

o0o

"Come on Rod, stay with me," John whispered as he gently tapped his brother's rapidly chilling cheeks.

"I've decided what I wan' fer my birthda'," murmured Rodney

"What?" John asked, humoring his sibling.

"A nice simple mission," mumbled Rodney.

John smiled as he continued to grip the man's hand, "You have to hang in there buddy…we're not done yet, you and me. We've got so many more adventures ahead of us.

"I know," he whispered. As his breathing hitched again, Rodney could taste the metallic blood in the back of his mouth as he coughed it up. "Hurts," he whispered as he finally managed to slow his breathing down.

Silence filled the small cave as both men waited for rescue.

'rry," came Rodney's half conscious murmur.

"Why?" John bit his lip, he hugged Rodney closer, trying to keep him warm as he continued to put pressure on his wound.

"Never…took the time to 'et to know Ronan…" whispered Rodney.

"Don't worry about it, Rodney…"

"No….if I survive…"

"When," John corrected.

"When…" rephrased Rodney, smiling weakly. "When…I survive…maybe…'ll come to one of his sessions…" murmured the man as he gripped John's hand.

"Good, I'll hold you to that you knuckle head…Hang in there, Rodney."

"Cold," whispered Rodney looking around.

"I know. I've got you covered with blankets, it's the blood loss …"

"Don't really….wanna die," whimpered Rodney.

"Good, because none of us want you to die either," grinned John.

"Really?"

"Are you crazy? You may be a pain in the ass Rodney, but you've got a way about you…" John shrugged. "I love you Rod, I have for as long as you've been my brother. You were always a great kid…used to tell all the guys about you during missions."

"Love you too. Shit this hurts," he whispered as he tried to move.

"Don't, you'll start bleeding again…You've gotta hold on, okay Rod? we'll be home before you know it."

"Why?" whispered Rodney.

John was startled by the question, taking a minute to gain his bearings before he sighed, "Because I need you, we need you. That little baby back on Atlantis needs you, Elizabeth needs you. If you die—this will kill us…me."

Rodney met John's serious gaze; his eyes glossed over from pain and fear. Somewhere deep inside, John knew Rodney understood what he was saying and why he was saying it.

o0o

Carson stepped into the gate room and took a look at Teyla. "My god—is that all his?" he whispered.

"Yes."

"Right…Elizabeth?" Carson looked over at his friend and smiled weakly.

"I…" she didn't know what to say.

"Don't ye worry, lass. I'll have him home before ye know it, safe and sound."

"I'll hold you to that," she whispered. "Dial the gate!" she called.

" Elizabeth," Carson began again but felt his words slip away, there was nothing either could say to make the other one feel any better.

"Tell him…" she stopped.

"You can tell him yourself—but I'll mention it," Carson reached out and squeezed her hand. They all turned and watched the wormhole engage. Carson eyed her one more time before they all cautiously stepped through the wormhole.

Elizabeth turned around and faced Daniel and Sam. "I'm so sorry—ah—let's go see if Radek can show you the rest of Atlantis," she whispered.

"Are you all right?" Daniel asked as he watched Elizabeth try to gain her composure.

"No," she answered truthfully. She wouldn't be okay until she saw her Rodney walking through that gate announcing to everyone how terribly it hurt, because that would mean he was fine.

o0o

"Rodney, stay awake!" demanded John as he gently slapped the scientist's cheeks.

Rodney's blue eyes shot open as he gazed at John with sadness and respect, "Sorry," he whispered as his eyes slid closed again.

John felt panic beginning to rise when he heard and saw nothing, Rodney's chest was no longer moving, "Damn it!".

"John?" came Teyla's voice suddenly as she entered the small cave.

"He just stopped breathing…" John cried out as Carson dropped down next to his best friend, taking it all in. "Don't die on me now Rodney!" he whispered as he quickly found his brother's breast bone and began chest compressions, wary of the gunshot wound only inches lower.

"We won't be able to stabilize him! Teyla get the stretcher!" Carson took the stretcher from her, he hurriedly put a neck brace around Rodney's neck then they carefully rolled him onto the back board.

"Ronan, Teyla, go ahead of us, get the infirmary prepared, have them bring a stretcher down with a defibrillator!" demanded Carson.

The two nodded as they carefully headed out of the now clear war zone. "Doc?" John whispered quietly.

"I'm nay 'bout to give up on him now…not when he just beat me yesterday in a game of chess!" hissed Carson as he grabbed his equipment. "While I'm bagging him, I want you to squeeze this bag every five compressions, understand?"

"Yes," John said nodding. He watched as Carson inserted the breathing tube, and then connected the bag to it.

Carson quickly shoved his way past John and began to look at the wound. "He's lost a lot of blood…we're going to need a transfusion…" Carson whispered.

"I still don't have a heart beat—" John began.

"I know! Okay, on three, let's move him!"

"One…" began John.

"Two…"

"Three!" they said together as they hefted Rodney up and hurried out of the cave. John had one hand holding the backboard, and his other clutching the handle and his P90 incase some one popped up.

They hurried through the wormhole, arriving on the other side to find themselves surrounded by medical personnel. They quickly lowered Rodney onto the waiting gurney. "He's in v-fib!" called Carson as he grabbed the defibrillator. "Clear!" he called suddenly.

Everyone watched the limp body convulse, all waiting in a pregnant silence as Carson felt for a pulse. "Nothing! Clear!" he called again as he shocked Rodney a seconc time. "I've got a weak pulse, let's move him! Have the OR prepped!" Carson called.

John, Teyla, and Ronan stood in the middle of the gate room looking absolutely lost. John turned to find Elizabeth who looked just as lost as they did. Without a second thought he ran for the infirmary. Elizabeth sighed as she watched the other members of his team run after him. She turned to one of her men and smiled sadly, "Could…you find someone to clean this up please."

"Ma'am….you'll tell us about Dr. McKay…right?" the technician asked softly.

"Yes…I…" she sighed and hurried out of the room.

o0o

John burst into the infirmary, his eyes searching wildly for his brother. All he saw was the trail that Carson had no doubt left behind of gauze, pressure bandages, syringes and blood…a lot of blood.

"How…how long?" John whispered as he looked around at those who were left to either clean up or take care of the other patients, "How long!" he demanded this time in a louder voice.

"John," one of the nurses came over and gently escorted him from the infirmary.

"No…I…"

"John, there's nothing you can do for him. Carson rushed him into surgery. You did your job, now let Dr. Beckett do his," she said gently, pushing him into one of the many uncomfortable chairs in the hallway.

John watched her with empty hazel eyes as she disappeared behind the doors again. He felt the lump in his throat; he felt the sudden urge to throw up as he caught the look at his clothes, at his hands which were covered in blood.

"John?" Teyla asked softly.

"Get me a basin…something quick!" he whispered shakily as his entire body began to shake.

"I need help!" cried Teyla as she hurried into the infirmary.

"What's wrong?" one of the doctors asked.

"It's Colonel Sheppard, he's breathing very heavily…shaking…" she answered as she grabbed one of their trashcans and brought it back out.

She watched as John lost the meager contents of his stomach in the offered can. He was pale white in comparison to the blood that covered him from head to toe.

"He's in shock!" called one of the doctors. "Get me a gurney prepared!" he yelled through the doors. Helping the Colonel up, they ushered him back inside.

"He needs a shower, he's covered in…" a nurse spoke, however was stopped when the doctor held up his hand.

"Teyla," the doctor began.

"I will help him, I could use one as well," she said softly.

"Nurse, scrubs please, one for each."

"Yes Doctor," replied the nurse as she quickly left.

John's hazel eyes turned to the doctor, looking at the man sadly. "My brother…please…" whispered John.

"He's been in worse John. Try not to worry, Carson will fix him right up," replied the doctor calmly.

"How long?"

"You know how those things are John, it could take hours. Here, Teyla is going to get you a nice hot shower, I'll have Dr. Weir or maybe Ronan get you all something nice and hot to eat."

"Ronan…is going to need a shower, too…" whispered John.

"I'll make sure he gets one, you all should. Just follow Teyla." the doctor said as the nurse passed him the two bundles of clothing and towels.

John nodded slowly as Teyla steered him to the shower rooms off to the side. He looked at her, and murmured wearily, "my shirt's ruined".

"Yes it is, put your arms up," she whispered as she waited. She then lifted the shirt over his head and threw it in the corner, not caring who did what with it. She looked him over skeptically before kneeling down and quickly untied his boots, helping him step out of them, and then removed his socks. "I trust you can do the rest and start the shower?"

John nodded slowly; his world seemed so fogged as he looked at her, "Teyla I…"

"John, I know. I'm scared too. Just take your shower," she replied softly steering him behind the curtain.

She waited for the sound of the rest of his clothing to be shed and the water running before she fully stripped herself and started her own shower. She was halfway through allowing all her muscles to relax when she heard a third shower start and knew Ronan had joined them. She quickly finished her shower deciding not to relish in the steaming water, she toweled off with a towel the nurse had provided in their bundles of clothes, she then pulled her scrub top on over her head and then her pants. When she stepped out, John was already dressed and toweling his hair dry.

He looked up at her, thanks shining in his eyes as he reached out to her. Seconds later she found herself being held tight within his arms. She couldn't release, she'd done her releasing in the shower, where no one could see the tears that mixed with the hot water.

"Are you two all right?" Ronan asked a moment later when he stepped out in his pants. He was twisting his hair into a pony tail before he pulled his scrub top on.

"We will be. Are you okay?" John asked for the first time.

"Yeah…Colonel Carter went to get some food…Probably need to make an appearance before they think we've been swallowed alive or something," replied Ronan.

"Ronan…" John began, "he promised he'd come to one of your training sessions, said he was sorry he didn't get to know you better."

"I think we should make an agreement right here, when Rodney comes out of this, we're all going to spend some quality time on the mainland getting to know each other, as a team, and friends."

"That sounds like an excellent plan, John," Teyla said soflty as she slipped her fingers between his and they headed out of the shower room. If anyone questioned it, they were drawing strength from one another, but most just knew that John and Teyla were meant to be together and were being there for each other.

When they finally stepped out into the hallway, there were three dinner trays waiting for them. Elizabeth stood up and walked over to the trio. John stepped forward and grabbed her in a hug. "He's going to be okay," whispered John, unsure if he was trying to convince Elizabeth or himself.

"JJ wanted to see you or Teyla," she whispered softly.

"I shall go…" Teyla replied easily.

"No…he'll be okay a little longer, eat your supper. It's almost time for his bed time…then we'll go together," whispered John gently.

Teyla quietly took a seat beside him. "Very well."

"Very well," Teyla said taking a seat beside him.

Once she was seated beside him, Sheppard sighed and looked to the visitors who'd only arrived only hours earlier. "I'm sorry your first day here…has been spoiled".

"We care about Doctor McKay, too," whispered Sam as she looked at him.

"Yeah…he used to talk about you all the time," laughed John weakly as he took a sip of his coffee.

"I can imagine," muttered Daniel.

"He's changed," whispered John eyeing the two members of the SGC.

o0o

"Dad?" whispered JJ as he looked up from his book. He sat in his bedroom reading the latest Harry Potter book. John smiled softly as he took a seat down beside his son.

"Hey buddy."

"How's Uncle Rodney?"

"He's pretty sick, JJ…he's in surgery right now, because he was hurt…Uncle Carson says he'll be out sometime in the early hours of the morning. How about you get ready for bed now, okay."

"Can I see him?" asked JJ.

"Maybe tomorrow morning if he's feeling up to it, okay?"

"Dad…what if he dies?"

"JJ, you're Uncle Rodney is a very stubborn man. You know that… Son, he's not going to die, okay. I need you to stay positive here. I promise if something goes wrong, I'll wake you, but I'm sure everything will be just fine."

"Okay…"

"All right small one," Teyla said suddenly as she lifted him up and John quickly drew back the covers before she plopped him on the bed. She grinned as he quickly wiggled under the covers and looked up at her with something akin to adoration in his deep hazel pools.

"Teyla…do you love my dad?"

John instantly blushed as he tried not to laugh.

She smiled as she sat down beside him on the bed, gently pushing the hair away from his eyes. "You are very similar to your father, and you both need haircuts. As for me loving him…your father is my best friend," she replied smiling.

"Teyla…if you marry my dad….can I call you mom?"

Teyla smiled. "Of course, if you wish…But your father and I are not getting married anytime soon," she whispered.

"I know…but you're kinda like my mom already… You tuck me in and everythin'."

"I suppose I am. Now, sleep small one," she whispered as she leaned over and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

"Will you sing to me, Teyla?"

"Of course small one," she smiled softly, thinking for a moment, trying to decide what to sing.

"Come stop your crying

It will be alright

Just take my hand

Hold it tight

I will protect you

From all around you

I will be here

Don't you cry

For one so small

You seem so strong

My arms will hold you

Keep you safe and warm

This bond between us

Can't be broken

I will be here don't you cry

Cause you'll be in my heart

Yes, you'll be in my heart

From this day on

Now and forever more

You'll be in my heart

No matter what they say

You'll be here in my heart

Always," she finished softly; brushing his bangs away from his face then turned the light off, "Good night, my child."

"Night son," John grinned as he pressed a kiss to JJ's forehead.

o0o

Carson sighed wearily, he was drenched in sweat, spots of blood splattered on him, and he was exhausted…but he knew he'd done well. Stripping off his gloves, he slowly made his way out into the hall and smiled. It was a picture perfect moment. Ronan sat beside Elizabeth, as she leaned fast asleep against his barbaric shoulder, sleeping peacefully.

Teyla sat between Ronan and John, fast asleep against the colonel's chest, as he held both arms around her. Carson was fairly sure one of her arms was fast asleep behind his back. Sam and Daniel sat across from them, sleeping soundly as well.

"Colonel…John," whispered Carson as he gently nudged his friend.

Two hazel orbs slowly awakened and stared up at him, "Carson?"

"Aye, lad," the physician smiled gently.

Slowly the others began to wake, realizing Carson was out to hopefully update them. " Carson, how is he?" Elizabeth asked.

"He survived. We've got him heavily sedated for now, and we'll bring him out of it sometime tomorrow morning or afternoon. He'll heal very nicely, but there was a lot of damage, internal bleeding. It took a lot to control, but we did manage to get all the bleeders. He had an MRI and he doesn't seem to have any brain damage. As far as we know, his heart didn't stop for more than four minutes, so we were close but I don't think it caused any damage. He's going to be remarkably weak for awhile, and he's going to be achy for a very long time. But given time and rest, he'll be back to our McKay in a few weeks time."

"Amazing how we have one mission, then we're off again for a month. We've had more vacation time this year," smiled John.

Carson grinned, "Aye." He knew the only reason John could joke was because his brother was alive. "I think it would be best to hold off until tomorrow to visit for all of ye, however you two, can come in for five minutes," Carson said pointing to Elizabeth and John.

They smiled softly at their friends as they followed Carson back into the infirmary. "So he's really going to be okay?"

"Aye, he lost a lot of blood. It's a good thing we had the blood drive recently, he just about sucked up most of my supply of his blood type."

Elizabeth looked at the man hooked up to all the machines and wires, "He looks so…"

"Weak, aye, he is, but he's got an amazing resolve. I was surprised he survived the surgery, but he came through with flying colors and should recover with no trouble. He's going to be sleeping a lot, but you're all welcome to stay with him after tomorrow. Not tonight though, ye all need your rest. I'll stay with him tonight."

"It was close this time," whispered John as he reached out and squeezed his brother's hand.

"Aye, a little too close. Could we stop cutting these corners? One of these days we're all going to run out of our nine lives," joked Carson.

"You'll wake us if there are any changes?" John asked as he backed towards the doorway.

"Of course."

o0o

Elizabeth smiled at the baby curled up by her side. Lauryn had settled for nothing less than her mommy, and was now fast asleep. Elizabeth sighed stroking the girl's beautiful soft hair. "You're growing so fast, what must go through your daddy's mind?" she said softly. "He loves you fiercely Lauryn, don't you ever doubt that. We almost lost him today…and I know that if anything ever happened to either one of us, we'll help you to carry on and cope." She smiled as she looked at the tiny fingers. "Innocence is bliss," she whispered as she pressed a kiss to the baby's head as she too slipped into a dreamless sleep.

o0o

" Carson!" growled Rodney McKay as he glared at his brother.

"He said you needed to eat!" bit John.

"I don't think he meant that hideous…dessert. And you are not exactly who I had in mind for hand feeding me, so back off!" growled Rodney as he shoved his brother's hand away from his face.

"Rodney stop being spoiled," muttered Carson.

Three weeks had gone by and Rodney was doing remarkably well, to the point that he was driving everyone to the brink of their sanity. Carson intended to release his patient shortly if things continued like this, but he hadn't told the good doctor that just yet.

"Spoiled? He's trying to feed me green jell-o!" hissed Rodney as he rubbed his stomach.

"From the sound of it, you're being tortured," came Elizabeth's voice as she walked into the room and smiled. "Oh, Carson, you're not really letting John do this are you?" chuckled Elizabeth as she dropped a kiss to Rodney's cheek. It had become her custom over his three week stay. Every morning she'd come in, drop a kiss to his cheek and then continue to tell him about what was happening on Atlantis.

"Aye, I am."

"Well…stop, that stuff is terrible," she said taking it from it from John.

"I should go, I'll catch up with ya later Rod," John smiled as he squeezed Elizabeth's shoulder and headed out of the infirmary.

He settled smugly against his pillow as she took up the now empty chair at his bedside. "How are Sam and Daniel?"

"They're having a great time, although I think Sam wishes you were there instead of Zelenka."

"Don't we all," chuckled Rodney.

"Oh, so here's good news, your daughter…is standing all on her own…and I think she'll be walking soon. You know what that means," she grinned.

"We have to child proof Atlantis," mumbled Rodney.

"To say the least. Don't worry, it'll be…fun." Elizabeth tried to find a better word than that, but they" all left her at the moment.

"So, when is Bones springing me?" Rodney asked.

"Well, I was going to do it now that your girl is here, but after that statement," mumbled Carson who still stood nearby writing on a chart.

"Please?" Rodney begged.

"Oh stop it, no one wants to see you beg. It's unnatural. Did ye bring him some clothes lass?"

"I did," Elizabeth said, revealing the bag.

"You little trickster," grasped Rodney.

"Yeah, well, you know," she giggled as Carson undid Rodney's IV and removed the needle. He continued to remove the pulse ox, and a few other wires before smiling to Rodney, "You're free lad, I'll see you later this evening. Lots of rest and no overdoing it."

"Sure thing Bones," Rodney replied, waving his hand.

Elizabeth was gentle in helping him get dressed and ready to leave, he was moving slowly, but at least he was moving. He'd been ordered no lifting for awhile as well, which meant Lauryn could only be handed to him.

"We've gotta stop this," mumbled Rodney as they made their way out of the infirmary.

"Yeah, we do," she replied casually as she enjoyed the closeness to him.

o0o

The last two weeks of their trip to Atlantis went by far too quickly for Daniel and Sam. Sam stood out on the balcony, taking in the sight one last time before she had to leave, "I thought you might like a visitor," came a voice from the door.

Sam turned and grinned, Lauryn walked to Sam, slightly unsteady but moving well. Sam chuckled as she lifted the baby into her arms and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Hard to believe she's yours McKay," she said as she settled the girl on her hip.

"Well she is," Rodney replied as he reached out and took his daughter back into his arms. "Sam…" he paused, "I just want you to know how grateful I am that you were able to come and see my world."

"I barely even know you anymore. I never really knew you in the first place, but what I saw here…I never expected you to be so…"

"Normal?" Rodney smiled as he leaned over the balcony, his daughter still tight in his arms.

"Yeah," laughed Sam.

"This fits me Sam, I'm happy here," he smiled.

"Is that your subtle way of saying you're over me?"

"Not so subtle, huh?"

"Could use a little work, but not terrible. I'm glad you found your niche Rodney, you deserve to be happy."

"I am."

"Can I make one suggestion?"

"Yeah," Rodney replied.

"I spent nine years in love with the same man…and let a rank divide us. Don't let that divide you. If you love her, then let her know. Tell her, don't hesitate, because as you've both learned, you never know when someone could die." Sam reached out and pressed a kiss to Rodney's cheek, "I should go."

"Sam…"

"Yeah?"

"A part of me will always care for you," he whispered.

"Me too," she smiled. "Goodbye Rodney."

"Bye Sam."

oOo

Rodney joined John, Teyla, Elizabeth, Ronan, and Carson in the control room as they watched Sam and Daniel wave a goodbye and step through the gate.

"So…movie?" John asked clapping his hands.


	62. Solider or Scientist

Authors Note: Hey everyone, sorry for the delays, it's been quite busy here at Mount, Finals are in three weeks...scheduling this morning (next year...may be a little crazy) Plus getting rooms for next year. You know normal college stuff and then some. Anyway so here we are, we're going to be backed up a little, just as long as I can get into the pattern again...Please Read and Review!

Chapter Sixty-Two: Solider or Scientist

"Remind me again, why we're here?" whined Rodney McKay as he and his fellow teammates trudged through the woods of the new planet.

"Because _you_ found an ancient database; telling us about some strange old home world of people who might know how to defeat the Wraith. You were the one who suggested we go on this mission," replied Sheppard, who had taken the lead as usual.

"I'm taking back my suggestion," murmured Rodney as he glared at his older brother.

"Rodney, perhaps if you tried to enjoy just being out doors. After all, it has been nearly three weeks since you've stepped out of the infirmary, much less off Atlantis," smiled Teyla softly.

"I'd enjoy this more if what we came to find was actually here," stated Rodney quietly.

"We've barely made it twenty feet from the gate, Rodney, try to stay positive," grinned Sheppard as he patted his brother on the shoulder.

"Did you hear that?" Ronan asked suddenly, stopping as he held up his hand.

"Hear what?" Sheppard whispered, looking around as he tried to pick out whatever it was Ronan had heard.

Teyla quietly replied, "I didn't hear anything,"

Rodney opened his mouth to say something but was quickly cut off as a gunshot flew past his head. John and Rodney's eyes immediately stared in horror at what had almost happened.

"Shit!" howled John as they all crouched to the ground while gunfire surrounded them from all sides. "Run!" John yelled as they all turned on their heels, still firing their guns.

Rodney ran as fast as he could, but he wasn't paying near enough attention to the ground. He felt his footing give out from under him as he got caught on a protruding root.

He felt the air in his lungs rush out as he hit the ground face first in what could only be considered a belly flop. His vision spun before him as he tried to gasp for air, only to see his teammates continue their running toward the gate.

After several painful seconds Rodney slowly stood up and began to follow, but he didn't make it more than five feet before he ran head long into a form that suddenly appeared in his way.

Landing on his butt, he looked straight up into the face of a very angry looking man. The stranger was now pointing what looked like a 9mm back at the scientist's head. At that moment, Rodney knew if he didn't at least try to fight and get free, that he would only die later.

He slowly began to back away from the man. Still on his butt, he felt his hand come across a piece of branch, and he grabbed it and began to swing it around. A searing pain ripped through his shoulder as the branch connected with the man's wrist.

With a look of determination on his face, and a hand to his bleeding shoulder, Rodney dove for the dropped gun. He didn't get much more of a chance to use it before the stranger grabbed him by his collar and yanked him from the ground, the man's fist instantly connecting with Rodney's face.

Rodney reeled back in surprise, his hand automatically pulling the trigger. As his world began to blacken he caught sight of his bleeding attacker already lying on the ground opposite of him. He didn't give it another thought as he collapsed to the ground himself, giving up to the pain and darkness grabbing at him from all sides.

"He is alive," spoke a man with bleach blonde hair, who knelt down beside Rodney's prone body and felt his chest for the rising and falling of air.

"Bring him!" spoke another man as he continued to look around, his eyes dark darted through the forest.

"Ja'Na, what of TarNe?" questioned another man.

"Leave him…he is as good as dead," spoke the one called Ja'Na.

The blonde man easily slipped his hands under Rodney's limp shoulders and lifted his body from the ground; seconds later he and Rodney both disappeared in a small burst of white light.

"We must go now, before they come back," commented Ja'Na. The two other men nodded and quickly disappeared as mysteriously as they had appeared.

oOo

"Sheppard!" yelled Ronan suddenly as the shooting stopped. He looked at his two friends, and realized they were missing a teammate, "Where's McKay?"

"Damn that man!" hissed John.

"We should go back and look for him," Teyla stated, as she stood and made her way back towards the forest. Nodding the two men quickly followed the Athosian woman.

"Sheppard…its Rodney's hand gun," Ronan said suddenly noticing the 9mm lying on the ground not far from the exit from the forest.

"John!" Teyla called from several feet ahead.

John and Ronan hurried over to her and stopped, stunned to see a man with black hair and a bullet whole just right of his heart. "He is still alive," spoke Teyla quietly.

"Ronan, grab our friend…Wherever McKay went, this guy might have some clue…"

"What about Rodney?" Teyla asked.

"It's not safe here, right now…We'll have to hope he can give us some kind of hint," John said simply as he watched Ronan throw the unconscious man over his shoulder in a fireman's carry.

o0o

"…I will heal him…" came a voice that didn't seem at all familiar or close. Groaning slightly, as if trying to announce he was still kicking, Rodney's eyes slowly fluttered open and was surprised to find himself somewhere that he instantly knew wasn't Atlantis.

"He awakes!" called a younger voice.

"Ta'Ner, move child," spoke another voice.

Rodney's panicked eyes suddenly searched the room; he was lying on a bed, in what looked like a wooden cabin or house. He didn't see John, Elizabeth or Carson anywhere nearby. He felt panic rise in his chest, his breathing beginning to speed up.

"Easy…" the voice from earlier murmured.

Rodney's ocean blue eyes turned toward the blonde man. "Who are you? Where am I?" he asked getting scared.

"You will calm down or I will have to put you to sleep again," spoke the man with conviction.

"I...I…I'm Rodney McKay…United States Air Force," he mumbled, realizing he was lying, but these people wouldn't really care one way or another.

"Very well. I am Ta'Lan," the man stated in an almost civil tone.

"Where am I, what happened?" Rodney asked quietly.

"If you do not recall…I will not explain…," the man stopped, his frighteningly gray eyes searching Rodney's blue ones. With a sigh the man nodded, "You and your people stepped onto the sacred ground of the Calen'ie. We are secretive people. When you stepped onto our grounds, we fired upon you…You shot and killed one of our men," the last part was practically spat out with pure hatred.

"I…I…He shot me first," whispered Rodney in fear.

"Yes…yes he did. You will survive."

"What are you going to do to me?"

"You will be sentenced to the Del'Chi, the highest death sentence for those who kill one of our own."

"And what…what is the Del'Chi…?" whispered Rodney as he pushed painfully up on his elbows.

"You fight the blood of the man you murdered."

"Oh…uh, well I have no fighting skills…at all…," Rodney stated.

"Yes…you will be taught. You should rest."

"I…I…," Rodney shook his head sadly.

"Rest, we will speak again when you wake tomorrow. You will begin training after sunrise."

"Wait…"

"Rest," the man said strongly.

o0o

"How is he, doc?" John asked, looking at the man lying on the bed covered in bandages.

"He's lucky to be alive…If Rodney shot him, which I can assume he did, ye should be proud. It was a hell of a shot," Carson said sadly.

"Won't matter if we don't find him….When can I start asking him questions?"

"He should wake up in the next day or so, give him twenty-four hours after that…"

"Doc…Rodney may not have that much time…"

"John, I can't condone anything sooner than that. I'm sorry lad, but that's my final say," stated Carson.

"That's fine…Let me know if anything changes …I'm gonna go talk to Elizabeth."

"I'll let you know if anything develops."

John made his way to Elizabeth's office, finding her going over the file he'd dropped off only hours earlier. She looked up just in time to spot him by the door and smiled hesitantly, waving him into the room.

"Hey," whispered John.

"Hi…I've read the file…What happened, John?"

"I wish I knew, honestly…One minute he was behind us…There was no body…no signs of him aside from his gun. I don't know, we weren't gone long enough for him to get up and go, or for someone to just carry him away…I'm praying he's not injured…"

"I can't send you back there and risk something like this happening again, not until you get some type of information from that man in the infirmary."

"Elizabeth…" John began.

"John, I'm sorry, you know better than anyone that I agree with the 'no man left behind' motto…but it's not safe, and I will not endanger more teams…"

"Elizabeth, we have to go back!"

"And do what John? You don't know if he's still there! I'm sorry I can't do that…John, please…"

"Elizabeth, if we don't go back we could be putting Rodney's life at risk!"

"Damn it, John!" Elizabeth sighed, rubbing her face and eyes, "Listen to me." She paused again, "I…I'm sorry I will not put you at risk. He'll find a way to come home…we'll get him home, I promise you…but he would never forgive me if something happened to you…"

"Elizabeth, I'm sorry…" Shaking his head, John nodded and walked towards her office door.

"John…I love him, too," she whispered.

"I know…and I'm sorry." With a hesitant look at the floor, he looked back at her, "Please let me go back to the planet."

"Talk to our visitor, then we'll discuss it," she said gently.

o0o

Rodney was rudely awakened, when what he assumed was the next morning, by a harsh shake and a tight grip on his good shoulder. He was wrenched out of bed and pushed towards the middle of the room.

"Get dressed!" demanded the blonde man as he tossed a shirt at the scientist.

Rodney, too afraid to speak, slowly pulled the shirt over his head, groaning at the pain in his recently healed shoulder. He looked up at the man called Ta'Lan and felt his stomach roll in further fear.

"Let's go!" The man ordered as he grabbed Rodney's arm again and dragged him outside.

Seconds later Rodney found himself standing in the middle of a large circle, surrounded by weapons, on a dirt floor; it looked like some type practice ring.

Ta'Lan shoved a stick into Rodney's hands. "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" yelled Rodney. "I'm sorry, but….this whole fighting thing…I'm not the most coordinated man…"

"You will die if you do not learn!"

"Isn't there another way? How about building? I can build anything? Technology? You need technology? I can catch you up to…"

"You will fight!" growled the man getting in Rodney's face.

"Not even chess?" whispered Rodney.

The man sneered evilly, "Fight or die now!"

"Right…" Rodney put his stick out at a forty-five degree angle as Teyla had originally taught him. Rodney never even saw the strike coming until Ta'Lan wiped him off his feet completely. He let out a painful grunt as he hit the ground flat on his back.

"You are pathetic!" spat the man, "I cannot teach one who wishes to die!"

"I don't _wish_ to die!" yelled Rodney as he sat up in pain. He slowly got to his feet, "I am a man of the mind! I can outsmart almost anyone…"

"When you can out run them, then and only then will you be a true warrior!" hissed Ta'Lan.

"I'm not a solider! I'm a scientist!"

"In this galaxy, you cannot be one without the other!" replied the man in fierce anger.

The two men stood there for a moment, inches from the other's face, glaring into each other's defiant eyes. Rodney knew Ta'Lan was correct, if anything Rodney was a threat to his team because of his lacking skills, but he'd always had someone to protect him before. "FINE!" Rodney hissed in disdain as he grabbed his stick back from the Calen'ie.

Days turned into weeks as Rodney gained bruise after bruise, never seeming to pick up on anything Ta'Lan was teaching him. Every kick, punch and drop to the ground. Every day they would awake at the crack of dawn, and work until dusk. If they weren't practicing in the ring, then Rodney was running obstacle courses, exercising.

Rodney couldn't ever remember being run so hard, for so long. He was exhausted and finally collapsed to the ground by the starting line of his obstacle course. Ta'Lan smiled ruefully as he collapsed across from the scientist.

"When can I go home?" whispered Rodney weakly.

"This is not just about your physical ability, McKay. Your ability to fight in this Del'Chi is about your mind, as much as it is your physical ability. You must use everything as one, your mind to plot your next attack, your body to defend the previous one, and your soul to prepare yourself for the entire match. To let your guard down invites loss, you must focus yourself. Find your center, something within yourself to focus upon…to fight for."

"Okay…I think I can do this," whispered Rodney as Ta'Lan suddenly tossed him a stick.

Rodney closed his eyes. Taking a deep breath, he spread his feet shoulder width apart, and prepared. Slowly opening his eyes he saw the first swing, with a tilt one way of his stick he fended it off, then another near his knees, a swift jab he jumped away from, another tilt. Ta'Lan smiled as he brought his stick away to his side.

"Very well McKay. Not excellent, but give it time, you may finally be learning something."

"Ta'Lan…what would happen…if by some strange fate I won this…Del'Chi?"

"Unlikely…but you would become one of us," answered the man as he handed Rodney the canteen of water.

"Could I go home…I mean to Atlantis?"

"Certainly…"

"I'd like to go home," whispered Rodney.

Ta'Lan nodded, "Then you shall go home. Come, you have worked quite hard today. It is time for supper."

"I'm sorry…really…my gun just went off…" Rodney murmured.

"Perhaps…focus upon going home."

"Tomorrow…will you teach me more fighting?"

"I will teach as much as you wish to know."

"I'd like to know more about your culture, honestly…Could you teach me that as well?"

"My son would be much better at teaching you that," smiled Ta'Lan.

"I'd be eager in learning more…Are you ancients?"

"Ancients?"

"Uh…Builders of the rings?"

"Ah…no, not exactly…We are descendents of the Ancients as you call them: powerful people who never suffered the touch of the Wraith."

"But how? You must know what is going on out there. How do you avoid it?"

"Would you truly like me to show you, McKay?"

"Yes," Rodney said smiling.

Stepping to one side Ta'Lan waved his hand as he kept his free hand on Rodney's arm. Suddenly the city he had stayed in for the past three weeks disappeared under his feet. "Holy …" Rodney gasped as he felt Ta'Lan's hand squeeze his arm.

"You are safe, look below," Ta'Lan replied pointing down.

Rodney's gaze dropped. They looked like they were standing on air, below them, hundreds of feet was the planet, covered in trees, moss, grass, but looked completely barren in the way of humans. "We once used to live in the city of the Ancients…many, many thousands of years ago. Until one day we decided to build a world…away from the harm, to train the finest fighters around, so that one day, with enough forces we could fight and defeat the Wraith. Our fathers before us helped to build us this city…"

"Oh my god…a flying city?" Rodney whispered.

"Perhaps floating would be a better word. We are cloaked up here, the Wraith cannot detect us, and we have spent thousands of years in the safety of our city, away from the Wraith."

"This is amazing," murmured Rodney, grinning.

"It is." With another wave of his hand the city around them reappeared. "If you leave, you cannot tell anyone of this city, McKay…Although, you will always be welcome among our people if you were to return."

Rodney eyed him suspiciously, and then smiled, "I thought we were enemies?"

"Enemies, no…I have great respect for a man who is willing to fight when he is afraid. You have great strength within, McKay, and courage unlike any other I have ever witnessed before. You are in a dangerous place, yet you do not seem afraid of dying."

"I've died before," explained Rodney.

"If you do not fear death, then what is your greatest fear?"

"Not being right," whispered Rodney. "Not in the way your thinking…my people rely on me to be right…they don't mean to, but it always comes down to me being right or wrong. If I'm wrong then people die…I've never actually killed anyone before…not with my own hands or with a gun…"

"I am sorry then, that your first life was my brother," whispered Ta'Lan.

"Your brother…then that means you are who I am fighting?"

"That is correct…Do not worry, I will give you a formidable challenge," grinned Ta'Lan.

"Then why are you teaching me?"

"How else would you learn how to fight me, then to battle the very person you will be fighting?"

"Good point…"

o0o

"I need to know what your people have done with my man…"

"He will be killed!" hissed the restrained man from his chair.

"Yeah, we got that part! Where the hell did your people take him?"

"You will never find him!"

"Ronan!" yelled John.

"You cannot save him! If I die, then he dies for sure!"

Ronan stepped into the room, his gun held at his side. John leaned in closer to the man who had called himself Tar'Ne. "You'll tell me how to find my brother NOW…or I will kill you!" hissed John.

oOo

Elizabeth sighed as she sat in the mess, her head in her hands, and a cup of coffee sitting in front of her. She had spent the past two hours just staring at it. Three weeks…for three weeks Rodney had been missing, it felt like the Genii kidnapping all over again. She could remember feeling this helpless and hopeless before, she felt lost and scared.

A soft voice interrupted her thoughts, "Elizabeth?"

She looked up finally from her coffee cup and smiled weakly at Teyla, as the Athosian woman joined her. "Hi Teyla…how's our friend?"

"He has told us nothing…Are you all right?"

"Yeah…just thinking," she said softly.

"About Rodney?"

"Yes…"

"It's more than your normal worry, is it not?"

"Well I worry about all my people, but yes…there's more to it than that."

"He is a resourceful man, Elizabeth. I believe in all my heart that he will be fine."

"Yes…me too, but I'm still scared. It gets so frustrating, worrying day after day for him. We're not a couple, dating, seeing each other or even married, but I watch him walk in injured so often and it's terrifying."

"It is hard to watch one you love suffer…I completely understand," Teyla replied.

"I suppose you do," Elizabeth agreed.

Smiling Teyla reached out and gently grasped her friend's hand, "If/if you love him, if we love them; is it not worth waiting to see that they are all right?"

"Yes it is," Elizabeth smiled softly after a moment. "Thank you, Teyla."

o0o

"My father says you may beat him tomorrow," spoke Ta'Ner as he sat on Rodney's bed.

"Oh, I doubt that…Your father is far better than me, Ta'Ner, in spirit, body and mind."

"My father says you are a wise man."

"Smart maybe, but not wise. I'm scared…I don't want to die."

"Why?"

Well…I have a brother as well, and a daughter…I also have a nephew about your age. I don't want to leave them…"

"How old is your daughter?"

"Just turned one."

"You love her?"

"With all my being."

"And her mother?"

Rodney paused and smiled for a moment as he thought of Lauryn's mother, "Oh yes, immeasurably."

"My mother died a cycle ago…"

"How?"

"The wraith took her from us. She was visiting another planet when they came."

"I'm so sorry….Every boy should know his mother," whispered Rodney gently.

Ta'Ner seemed to think on that for a moment and shrugged, "My father tells me of her often…it is not the same."

"Never is," whispered Rodney.

"Is your mother dead?"

"Yes…I lost her when I was a few cycles younger than you."

"Does it still hurt?"

"Yes, it's less painful, but yes it still hurts."

"No daughter should be without a father either…" whispered Ta'Ner. "Goodnight, Doctor McKay."

"G'night Ta'Ner."

o0o

"Ta'Lan, as the brother, do you wish justice for the blood that has been spilt?" questioned Ja'Na early the next morning.

"No…" came the firm reply as everyone looked at Ta'Lan in confusion. "This man did not commit a crime; he took my brother by accident in fear and protection, not in anger. I cannot fault him for fearing my brother…for I fear him, too," joked Ta'Lan. "McKay has learned much here, he has earned my respect…I wish for him to become one of us."

"Very well," spoke Ja'Na again as he turned to Rodney. "McKay you have spent three weeks in our company. In such time you have changed both yourself and a few hearts. We welcome you into the Calen'ie circle; you will always find friends and refuge among our people for years to come. Welcome to the Calen'ie."

"Thank you, Master Ja'Na." Rodney bowed towards the man, who returned the gesture.

"Go well, Sir McKay, and go in peace."

Bowing again, Rodney followed Ta'Lan from the sanctuary, "Now what?" questioned Rodney as they headed back to the house he had remained in for three weeks.

"I take you home."

"Oh…" Rodney paused a moment, looking around at the beautiful city and smiled, "I'm going to miss this place a little bit."

"We'll miss you, too!" spoke Ta'Ner, smiling.

"Come brother, your friends will have missed you great," smiled Ta'Lan.

o0o

"Unscheduled off world activation!" called one of the technicians from the controls.

Elizabeth hurried over to the control room and looked at him. "Who is it?" she whispered. How many times in three weeks had she been disappointed.

"It's Dr. McKay's IDC…"

"OPEN THE GATE!" yelled John as he entered the gate room just in time to hear that it could be his brother. Carson and Teyla right behind him.

With the shield down, three figures stepped through the vortex; the first was the one everyone had waited three weeks to see, the other two they didn't know. Elizabeth couldn't stop herself as she descended the stairs and seconds later had Rodney in a huge hug, holding onto him like she'd never let go.

Rodney slid his arms around her waist, leaning completely into her as he clutched her tight.

"Welcome home," he heard her whisper. She pulled away and smiled softly at him, "We've missed you," she said gently cupping his cheek.

Rodney clutched her hand and smiled as he turned to his friends. "Ta'Lan, Ta'Ner this is Elizabeth," then he paused.

"Lauryn's mother?" asked Ta'Ner.

Rodney chuckled, "Yes." He took another look around, "And this is Atlantis."

"Ta'Lan…" John whispered as he got closer, "I believe we have a friend of yours." Clicking his radio he paused, waiting for Ronan to answer, "Ronan, could you bring our friend to the gate room…"

"Yeah," Ronan's voice rang over the radio.

"I'm Doctor Elizabeth Weir…thank you for bringing Dr. McKay home," Elizabeth spoke with a smile.

"You are very welcome," smiled Ta'Lan.

A few seconds of conversation and Ronan appeared with Tar'Ne. "Brother!" cried Ta'Lan, smiling as he met his brother in a bow and a strong hand shake.

"You're free to go home…" John spoke with strength as he looked on at the two brothers.

"Thank you," Tar'Ne spoke in reply as he eyed Rodney. "I see you before me and I do not see the same man I saw three weeks ago…"

"As your brother would say…I've learned much."

"Good…"

"Remember what you have learned my friend," Ta'Lan spoke as he bowed to Rodney and shook his hand.

"I doubt I'll ever forget."

"You are a warrior now…Farewell, McKay."

The gate was redialed to their home planet and the two men and the boy looked back from the gate and smiled. "Goodbye, Rodney!" called Ta'Ner."

"Goodbye, my friends. Ta'Lan. Ta'Ner."

The gate shut down a few moments later after they stepped through. Rodney smiled softly watching them all go.

"You sonofabitch!" yelled John as he pounced on his brother, hugging him tighter than humanly possible.

"Colonel, you are not the only one who wishes to welcome him home," Teyla spoke smiling.

John grinned as he pulled away from his brother and smiled as Rodney greeted her with a strong hug. Carson stepped up to his friend and smiled, "I've missed ye babbling."

"Oh, gee, thanks," grinned Rodney as he stepped forward and was enveloped in Carson's strong arms. "I've missed you too, Bones."

"Ye have an hour to get cleaned up, and then I want to see ye for a physical."

"Can do," replied Rodney as he turned back to Elizabeth and smiled. "I…" he shook his head. "There is so much to tell you," he whispered.

o0o

An hour and a half later, Elizabeth entered the infirmary, to find Rodney seated on one of the beds, waiting while Carson finished up the physical. "How is he, Bones?" she teased.

"Honestly?" Carson smiled and shook his head, "Rodney you are in the best shape I have seen since you arrived here. Ye've lost nearly fifteen pounds, you're stronger, and healthier, and ye've got a wee scar on you shoulder that wasn't there when ye left. But other than that…you're in tip top shape."

"Really?" Elizabeth was surprised.

"Aye, what did ye go through Rodney?" Carson asked.

"That my friend is a story for another time…maybe over a game of chess…But until then, I've got a date," grinned Rodney as he hopped off the bed and eyed Elizabeth.

"Are ye two gonna make this official?" Carson asked.

"We're discussing it," smiled Elizabeth as she took Rodney's offered his arm.

"Am I free to go?" Rodney asked.

"Far be it from me to stop ye. I'll see you for a game of chess later lad."

"Thanks Carson…"

"Rodney," Carson called, pausing, "I've missed ye, and it's nice to have ye back…It's just not the same without you here."

"It wasn't the same without my two best friends, either," smiled Rodney as he looked from Elizabeth to Carson.

o0o

"So what did happen?" Elizabeth asked as they sat in the empty mess hall sharing a piece of cake.

"It's hard to explain…They trained me…I guess that's the best way to describe it. They taught me a lot…They also told me to savor those I care about…Elizabeth, I'm sorry if I've carried this out, or made you believe I didn't want to be with you. Truthfully…Liz, they're going to give us a million reasons why you and I can't be together, why any relationship I form with you won't work…but now I'm armed with the one reason why it will…" He paused taking her hands in his, "I love you, that's all I need. Be with me, Elizabeth."

She shook her head and smiled. "Rodney…we are together…" she replied.

"No…I mean _b_e with me. You and me, officially a couple together. I love you, and if I had a ring I'd propose to you right now on this spot…But foolishly I left the ring back in my room. Elizabeth, be with me, forever."

"Rodney…are you asking me to marry you?"

"In a manner, I don't want to spend another day without you. I don't want Lauryn to spend another day without a mom…You're my best friend. I don't care if we ever actually get married, I just want to spend the rest of forever and beyond with you."

"Rodney…we can't…" she began.

"Why, because the military frowns upon it? So what. Then I'll quit, I'll stop working for them, I'll stop working for John…"

"You can't do that, this base needs you. Rodney I need you here with me."

"Elizabeth, I would do anything to be with you, in a heartbeat. I'm not asking you for the world, I'm asking for you to be mine."

"Rodney, you are asking me the world, you're asking me more than I can give you. We're looking at a lot of trouble here, not to mention the fact that people on this base would…"

"When have I ever given a damn what people think?" he yelled, his fist striking the table hard enough to make their plate clatter

"Rodney!" bit Elizabeth.

"No! I want to be with you! I don't care who says what. You're my…you're my girlfriend, damn it! I fell in love with you! Don't you get it? Your love should come first, Elizabeth."

"I agree, but they won't."

"Who cares? Caldwell doesn't have anything to do with your job…"

"Yes, but the people he reports to, do!" bit Elizabeth angrily.

"Am I that worthless? That you're so scared to be with me, that you'd give me up for some job?"

"Wouldn't you! Come on, Rodney, be serious, you can't really look me in the eye and say you'd give all of this up to be with me…"

Rodney's beautiful eyes glossed over and he smiled sadly for a moment, "Yes …I would, in a heartbeat. Please Liz…"

"Rodney…"

He took a step and drew her out of her seat, pulling her into his arms and held fast to her pressing a kiss to her lips. He could feel her rigid body go soft. Finally he pulled away and looked at her, "Elizabeth, I love you with all my heart and soul, you're the first woman I can talk to…Please, be with me."

She shook her head, suddenly looking away, as she felt tears clouding her vision. "They wanted me to give up on you," she whispered.

"But you didn't, why?" He asked, turning her face back towards him.

"Because…I love you, too," she whispered, her hand going to her lips at the thought of those words and how heartfelt they truly were. "I love you," she whispered again.

"I will ask you one more time, Elizabeth. Be with me, forever? Be the mother to my little girl, in spirit, be my wife."

"I won't treat you any different…"

"Wouldn't expect it."

"I'm not ready to take…the big step…not yet…"

"Me either, so don't worry. We'll get there, eventually. I don't want to have sex with you, Elizabeth…Well not initially. And I want to be with you."

"That's sweet. A complete lie," she said grinning, "but sweet…It won't be easy, we're tough, stubborn…"

"Liz, the best part of being with you is arguing with you. You're my equal. I know you're as smart if not smarter than me."

"Wow, you've got this down pat," grinned Elizabeth as she leaned into his arms.

"Be with me."

"I'm with you, forever and always…I love you."

Their lips met to seal the moment.


	63. Atlantis High

This chapter is actually based on another story I've been reading for awhile now, and I decided it might be cool to see it in another way. So if this looks familiar, I apologize. Anyway please enjoy! And in ten days look for the Chapter dedicated to David and our beloved Dr. McKay!

Chapter Sixty-Three: Atlantis High

John stood in the corner of the workout room as they had called it; watching in fascination as Teyla and Rodney moved in what John could only describe as an amazing dance of man and woman fighting and exercise.

Each member of his team had a different fighting style. Ronan's was reckless and bent on causing the most serious injury, or disarming the person at all costs. John's was just to get back into control. And Teyla's was graceful and amazing. Until this point Rodney had never truly fought.

However as John watched his brother now, he was impressed, because Rodney appeared deep in concentration, powerful but graceful. Every movement looked planned out, intended. They'd been exercising for nearly twenty minutes and Rodney was doing better than John did.

Rodney hadn't succeeded in wiping Teyla out yet, but then she hadn't knocked him to the ground either. He seemed to find a way to block nearly ever move. He'd been hit twice, and Teyla had been hit once. It was unlike anything John had ever seen.

He watched as they both came to a stop, inches from one another, breathing hard. Teyla smiled slowly, "You are indeed a warrior, Rodney." She stepped back and lowered her head, "Very good."

Rodney grinned and pressed his forehead to hers. "Thank you," he replied as he stepped back… and wiped his brow.

"I think you have a formidable chance of beating your brother," joked Teyla as she tossed Rodney a towel to dry off.

"Okay, that's not fair," John said as he watched his brother, who looked better than he ever had. "So what really happened, Rodney?"

"They taught me how to fight; how to not only use my mind…but my body as well…"

"It's an ancient form of fighting they taught you…called Tau'reen, that is highly respected among my people. They had a great deal of faith and patience to teach you such an art, and you have obviously learned a good deal of it."

"It wasn't easy," replied Rodney.

"I'm sure. I would love to know more about this culture," Teyla spoke.

"I'd love to tell you. Dinner?" he said grinning at her.

"I will see you at dinner then," she offered one last smile at the two men, then left the work out room.

"Well, according to Beckett you're in the best shape you've been in for years. Elizabeth gave us the okay, we've got a mission tomorrow afternoon."

"Sounds good. I actually have a meeting with Radek and Elizabeth, so I'll catch up with you later?"

"Ah, yeah. Rod," he called as his brother headed towards the door, "I'm really glad you're back, and safe."

"Thanks…it's nice to be back," smiling Rodney headed out of the room, off to his quarters to get a shower and go to the meeting.

o0o

"AR-2 you've got a go, we'll talk to you again in four hours. Be safe," Elizabeth called from the control room. With a nod from Major Lorne she watched as they stepped through the event horizon.

John's voice startled her from behind, "So…have you seen my brother?"

Elizabeth turned and offered her friend a smile, "No, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, that's the problem…He's like a new man."

"There's a problem with that?" Elizabeth asked, with a sly grin on her face.

"It's just weird…He could wipe the floor with me!"

"John, your brother was gone for three weeks learning from the very best how to fight. Yes, he has changed, but I don't think it was a bad transformation."

"Yeah…well…I'm not sure what to do now. It's not like he needs me to protect him anymore."

"He'll always need you, John."

"I didn't sense him when he was gone for three weeks…I didn't sense him once; I just knew he was alive…"

"John, why are you telling me this?" Elizabeth sighed as she looked up at her Military Commander.

"It's just…I don't know…its weird seeing him this good."

"John, he's happy about this, let it be…"

"So are you and…" John paused.

"That is none of your business, Colonel Sheppard," replied Elizabeth with a soft smirk.

"Uh huh…So, has he actually, you know, popped the question?"

"John, he asked me out officially, we just started becoming a couple. It's a little early to be thinking about anything else at the moment."

"Right…well I should probably go get something to eat…You wanna come?" muttered John.

"Uh, sure. Rodney just told me he was doing dinner with Teyla to tell her about the three weeks, I told him I'd see him afterwards. John, listen to me, your brother loves you and if there's anything to tell, he will tell you when he's ready."

"Yeah…"

"It's new for you isn't…this whole waiting thing," Elizabeth said grinning.

"Huh?"

"Lets face it, John, for the first time in the nearly three years we've been here, he has the secret and you want to be told all about it."

"Do I do this all the time to him?"

"Frequently…Dinner?" she said smiling at him.

"You know when we were kids, Rodney beat me at everything in Academics, always. He was always smarter than me, didn't matter how hard I tried, even if it was a single point. He always beat me…"

"You always beat him in athletics, though?"

"Oh yeah, Rodney didn't have much coordination…"

"Give him time, maybe he just wants to tell everyone in his own way. So far, I'm the only other person he's told that I know of."

"Carson doesn't know?" That surprised John; he figured the physician would have been the first person Rodney told: they were the best of friends.

"Not to my knowledge."

"Oh…" the Colonel said simply.

o0o

John was fairly sure that by the next morning Carson did know. Because Rodney wasn't in his room until nearly two in the morning, which meant they'd enjoyed a chess game together before calling it a night.

Elizabeth was right, Rodney would tell him when he was ready. He just hoped that meant soon, he wanted to know, too. He sighed as he finished strapping his bag onto his back.

"Colonel?" Elizabeth called from the control room.

"We're ready," Sheppard said quickly. Looking at his fellow teammates, sure that they were indeed ready to go, he gave the sign to dial the gate.

"Be safe," Elizabeth called before they all disappeared into the horizon.

oOo

"Okay…lets do some exploring," spoke John as he took the lead, Rodney stepped up beside him, Ronan and Teyla remained back slightly. "How you doing?" John managed to finally ask.

"I'm doing…fine…"

"Really?" John asked looking over at his brother.

"Yeah, actually, listen John, trust me," Rodney whispered.

"Last time you said that to me, you…" He stopped, it wasn't fair to use his brother's words like that, but even before he could stop himself he saw the look of hurt on his brother's face, "I'm sorry Rod."

"Yeah…" murmured Rodney.

"Colonel…" Teyla called from behind with a tone that brokered no argument and made the hairs on John's neck rise.

They all froze, listening close; then he heard it, the annoying howl of a dart not far from them.

"We must get out of sight," whispered Teyla.

"It's coming closer, run!" Ronan bit as he shoved Rodney forward.

The team of four began to run back towards the gate. John turned back around to see the Dart coming over their heads, and its beam scouring the ground.

"JOHN!" yelled Rodney.

Sheppard saw the ground before he saw anything else, and then felt pain sear through his forehead, before his world went black.

Rodney looked up above him; the dart had gone as quickly as it had appeared. He quickly shook his brother. "John…" Rodney whispered.

"What's wrong?" Teyla questioned.

"He's unconscious," Rodney murmured in horror as he looked down at his brother's limp body, blood trickling from his temple.

o0o

"How is he Carson?" Elizabeth asked softly as they stood around John's bed.

"He's going to be fine. He's got a doosey of a concussion, and he'll have a bad headache when he wakes up. But for now, we're going to let him rest under supervision, and he should wake by tomorrow or the next day. He'll be fine."

o0o

"John, Rodney, time to wake up!" Lauren Shepard called from the bottom of the stairs.

John let out a sound akin to a moan about school, before managing to drag his dark hazel eyes open. "I hate Mondays," he grumbled as he pulled himself out of bed. He blindly grabbed the pants at the end of his bed and pulled them over his Marvin the Martian boxers.

He moved downstairs and took the toaster strudel his mother was handing him as he and Rodney headed out of the house, grabbing their bags on the way.

The ride to school was short and as always quiet. Rodney was not normally a morning person, so he rarely spoke. And John was only half awake in the early morning, requiring all the half attention to be focused on the ride and a small part on the sustenance in his hand.

John turned into the school parking lot ten minutes later, parking his black truck in between the red and light blue cars, it was their thing. They all parked next to each other to protect their cars, and probably even each other without realizing it.

"Ready?" John asked looking at his brother and best friend.

"Mondays suck," muttered Rodney as they stepped out of the truck and grabbed their bags. Moments later they made their way into Atlantis High School.

Students crowded in the hallways, talking as loud as they could, to be heard over the rest of the talking students. John didn't quite understand why the others didn't realize that if they talked quietly at once, they wouldn't be so loud.

Within seconds of entering the building their friends' faces came into view. "You guys were almost late. The bell's gonna ring any minute," commented Elizabeth as she pressed a kiss to Rodney's cheek.

"As if watching my folk's do that isn't enough," mumbled John as he closed his eyes to the image of the girl he had known since he was five, kissing his brother.

"You're just jealous," grinned Rodney.

"You wanna go," bit John.

The bell rang out loudly, interrupting their normal fight. It seemed like these two were fighting every day, but then they were brothers. Perhaps it was just a part of their lives. The six friends broke up and headed off in their own directions.

Carson had just recently moved to the states from Scotland, and was pleased at how easily he seemed to get along with Rodney. The two had math together first period with Mr. Mitchell. Teyla and Elizabeth had a class together, while John and Ronan had a class together.

The first few periods seemed to go fast and John was thankful when lunch finally arrived. He'd spent the entire day being ribbed mercilessly from the Wraith, specifically Steve and Bob, the head of the Wraith gang.

John was line backer on the Varsity Football team. Coach O'Neill had recruited both he and Ronan earlier this year when he had suspended Steve, the leader of the Wraith, after he got into a fight with another football player during Mr. Jackson's history class.

John sighed as he swung his leg over one of the benches, plopping down beside his younger brother who was immersed in his physics homework already. "You're not eating?" John asked, worry evident in his voice.

"No…not hungry," Rodney replied as he looked at a couple more equations then continued writing.

"Oh, no," John said, shaking his head. He snatched Rodney's pencil from his hand and slid his lunch in front of his brother. He didn't miss the glare his brother shot him, but chose to ignore it.

Carson and Elizabeth joined the table, sitting beside Ronan and Teyla. John grinned out and stole one of Carson's fries, who simply rolled his eyes.

"Had a little chat with your buddy, Steve," mumbled Rodney between gulps of his brother's food, proving just how hungry he really was.

"He didn't hurt you, did he?" John asked in concern.

"No…but he's pretty pissed off."

"Doesn't like being shown up by someone younger than him," Ronan offered.

"Yeah well, he got his own ass kicked off the team for getting into the fight. I wasn't even in the class."

"No, but I'm fairly sure he blames you," grinned Rodney.

"You guys wanna come over and work on Mr. Jackson's history project due next week?" John asked changing the subject.

"Probably won't hurt to get a head start on it. You're mum cooking?" grinned Carson.

"I'm sure you could talk her into it…she likes you more than she likes Rod," joked John.

"Bite me," Rodney mumbled through a piece of sandwich in his mouth.

"Are you sure you really wanna spend the rest of your life with that?" John asked pointing at Rodney.

Elizabeth shrugged and smiled, "Won't know if I don't try."

"You are so weird," mumbled John.

"So what do you plan on doing with Steve?"

"No clue. I'll let O'Neill know about it, let him deal with the ass."

"They're a gang John, the Wraith don't exactly back down," Rodney replied.

"I know that Rodney, but thanks for reminding me," ground John.

"Any time," Rodney retorted, rolling his eyes in exasperation.

o0o

The six friends made their way to John and Rodney's house. Lauren heard them long before her eldest child burst through the door, announcing their presence.

"I'm not deaf, Jonathan," called Lauren as she stepped into the foyer and smiled at his friends.

"Hi Mrs. Sheppard," the four friends greeted.

"Would you guys like some snacks?"

"Sure," they all complied as they headed into the living room.

Lauren chuckled as she listened to her two boys bicker. Things had certainly changed in just a few years. Rodney was sixteen, he'd been with the Sheppard's for nearing seven years now and she could tell he loved being here. No matter how much the two boys argued and yelled at one another, Lauren could hear the lack of anger and contempt in their voices.

John had been friends with Elizabeth since they had been younger. Then one day, Rodney came in and changed everyone's life, especially little Elizabeth; who had fallen for Rodney instantly on sight.

Then Teyla had arrived shortly after Rodney, in the seventh grade. John had instantly taken to her and she joined the group, making it an even four. Then there was sweet Carson who had joined the group just over a year ago. Lauren hadn't been surprised when Carson and Rodney instantly connected; they were like two lost souls on the same path. Instantly a friendship was formed. Carson rubbed off greatly on Rodney, mellowing him out, calming him down and bringing him to the brink of normalcy of most teenagers. While Rodney gave Carson confidence and personal strength.

Finally, Ronan had joined at the beginning of this school year, moving in from Hawaii. He was a sweet boy, although some what intimidating, and had replaced Aiden who had been forced to move because of his father's job yet again.

They were quite a group, Lauren had to admit. Six very unlikely friends, but all very similar and each had their own strength to add to the group. Lauren couldn't ask for better friends for her two sons.

"Hey, mom, can Carson and Ronan spend the night?" John called from in the living room.

Lauren chuckled as she walked into the living room, handing out the sandwiches she had made and sodas. "As long as they call their parents," she replied. It seemed like the four boys were always spending the night at someone's house, but Lauren was fairly sure it had to do with the movies they watched. The girls never watched them, leaving the four boys to watch them when the girls weren't around. Lauren didn't mind, she felt that the boys needed to bond just as much as girls usually did, so she always allowed it.

By seven in the evening all the parents had been called and they would be staying for dinner. It was near nine when the girls finally headed over to Elizabeth's house for their own sleepover. The boys kept talking; they popped in the Star Wars movie.

It was nearing midnight when her husband finally mentioned the idea of getting some sleep since it was a school night. Lauren smiled as Luke slipped into the bed beside her. "Sleeping?" she asked.

"Rodney looked asleep when I mentioned it; I think Carson will be joining him quickly. Ronan also looks pretty wiped out, and I'd say our Johnny is finally running short on energy. They'll be asleep before the hour," he smiled.

"I love them so much Luke, I just can't believe how fast they're growing," Lauren whispered.

"We've got a few more years," grinned Luke. But the truth was, they really didn't. John would turn eighteen two weeks after graduation and Rodney would turn seventeen days before the graduation. John was planning on signing up for the Air Force the day after he turned eighteen. Rodney had already been accepted to several Ivy League schools, and had chosen Stanford. They'd have to live with the fact that they're boys were all grown up.

"Don't my love; we've got them for a little longer. Besides, they'll always be out little boys."

"Seven years just doesn't seem adequate for one little boy."

"Maybe, but you changed the life of that one little boy. You gave him something he's never had before, a reason to live."

"Goodnight Luke."

"Night sweetheart," Luke whispered pressing a kiss to her forehead.

o0o

Tuesday was the day they all remained after school for some sort of function or another: Teyla had cheerleading squad, she was the Captain this year, Elizabeth had the Debate team, Rodney and Carson were on the math team, and Ronan stayed with John for football.

Rodney sat in the classroom, laughing as he and several other of his friends gathered around the table joking about some of the latest gossip when Calvin Kavanagh, one of the many fellow math kids on the team, and a particularly annoying student hurried into the room.

"Dr. Carter's lookin' for you, Rodney," the pony tailed teenager said.

"Okay," Rodney had a crush on the physics teacher; this was no news to anyone.

"Want me to come?" Carson asked.

"Nope, I'll be up in a minute. If Mr. Mitchell asks, tell him I'll be right back," grinned Rodney as he quickly headed out of the room.

Mr. Mitchell's room was right at the edge of the stairs to the second floor, and Dr. Carter's was right at the end of the hallway on the first floor, so he didn't have to go far. He made his way down the stairs but didn't get much further than a few feet from the stair case when he felt a hand grab his mouth. Rodney's eyes went wide with fear as he came face to face with Bob, the second member of the Wraith.

"No fighting Roddy," laughed Steve quietly as they dragged him back under the stairs.

o0o

"Where's McKay?" Mr. Mitchell asked as he stepped back into the classroom.

"Calvin came in here saying that Dr. Carter wanted to see him," replied Carson casually.

"Ah…that's not right. Dr. Carter left nearly an hour to get home, to see her father…" Mr. Mitchell replied.

"Oh no," came Radek's whisper.

"What?" Mitchell asked.

"The Wraith…they've spent the past week …"

Radek was interrupted seconds later by a loud scream from the first floor and a cry for help. Carson was the first one to get up from his seat, Mr. Mitchell right behind him.

"I…I just found him," cried Elizabeth as she knelt next to Rodney's beaten and bruised body.

"Radek! Go get John!" yelled Carson as he dropped to his best friend's side.

o0o

"John...John!" came a frantic voice, two hazel eyes slowly slid open to see the concerned faces of Rodney and Carson.

"Where…?" John began.

"Easy lad, you're in the infirmary. You hit your head on a rock…gave yourself quite the concussion," answered Carson as he pressed his hand against his friend's shoulder to keep the lad down on the bed.

"Oh…wow...that was some dream," mumbled John.

"Are you all right?" Rodney asked gently.

"Uh…I will be…where is everyone?" John asked, quietly noticing the infirmary was fairly dark and empty.

"It's two in the morning, nearly everyone is asleep. Teyla put JJ to bed around ten."

"How long have I been out?"

"Thirty-six hours lad, but you're going to be just fine."

"You wanna talk about it?" Rodney asked as Carson went on about some of his duties before moving into his office.

"I…do you remember our senior year when you got beat up?"

"Yeah…"

"I had this dream that we were all in high school…all of Atlantis, and that the Wraith were the gang …and they beat you up…"

"John, I'm fine…"

"I know…it's just—I've always had to protect you…" whispered John.

"John, I don't require your protection. I accept it, you're my brother, and you need to protect me as much as I protect you."

"I'm not used to the idea of you being able to defend yourself," muttered John as he looked at his brother.

"I could always lose my ability to fight," grinned Rodney.

"Don't go doing that…I'm not…I don't know what I am…tired I suppose," mumbled John.

"With good reason. Look, John, I'll always need someone to protect me, and you're my brother…Sometimes I'm going to need you and sometimes I won't, you knew that growing up. Tell you what, close your eyes and I'll tell you all about the Calen'ie," offered Rodney.

"I'll fall asleep…"

"I'll fill in the spaces later, close your eyes."

"Rod…" John searched his brother's ocean colored eyes for a moment.

"Me too," replied Rodney as he gripped his brother's hand and offered a small smile, "me too."


	64. For He's a Jolly Good Fellow

Author's Note: This was edited by me exclusively. Anyway, the Elizabeth/Rodeny story is from Commodore Norrington's story; Once Upon a Time in Moscow. Excellent story and if you're reading this Commodore, thank you for letting me use this again! Anyway so obviously this story is a dedication strictly to our beloved David Hewlett, who turns a year older today. I can only hope his birthday is as good as Rodney's is in this story! Please read and review, and also read the other note at the bottom :).

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVID HEWLETT! YOUR FANS LOVE YOU!

Chapter Sixty-Four: For He's a Jolly Good Fellow

Rodney groaned as he rolled over, his eyes still closed. Today was the day when a man had to accept a few things, for starters that he was officially getting older. Second off, that the only person who probably knew and actually remembered was his brother.

He felt the bed suddenly dip, and was prepared to open an eye when he felt two small hands press against his cheeks. He grinned as he slowly opened his eyes. There on his bed sat his eighteen month old baby girl.

"Good morning," he chuckled softly as he pulled her into a hug.

"Birt-day boy!" cried the girl giggling as she clapped loudly. A second giggle erupted from over in the corner, there stood Elizabeth smiling, her arms crossed in front of her chest, dressed down in a sweat shirt and a pair of jeans. She looked comfortable, but to Rodney, as always; she looked beautiful.

"Who told you?" he smiled softly as Elizabeth moved over to them. Sitting up, his daughter still between them, Elizabeth joined Rodney on the bed.

"John, he felt it pertinent, of course I told you we'd plan something…well months ago," she said smirking.

"You're dirty oh mighty woman," chuckled Rodney as he pressed a kiss to her cheek.

"Birt-Day boy!" the little girl cried again.

"Lauryn, say birth…bir-th," he pronounced.

"Birfday…" she said clapping again.

"I think she's more excited for this day than me," mumbled Rodney.

"Oh, I don't know why, come on Rodney, it's your birthday," Elizabeth replied smiling.

"Right," he murmured.

"Okay sourpuss, get up, get a shower…then we've got a little surprise for you in the Mess Hall."

"Oh, great another surprise," chuckled Rodney.

"Oh just get up," shaking her head she lifted Lauryn off the bed and together the two women headed into Lauryn's room to get the little girl ready for a day of fun.

o0o

Against his better judgment, Rodney did as Elizabeth told, though he was half tempted to stay in bed all day, so everyone would forget he was a year older today. He took a quick shower, got dressed, shaved and soon was ready to go.

Elizabeth was sitting on the couch, reading an Athosian book to Lauryn when Rodney finally appeared, "Daddy!" the girl giggled as she reached her arms out to her father.

"Come here," he moved her so she was balanced on his hip and smiled at Elizabeth, "All right then, you're the boss, lead away," he stated.

Elizabeth nodded, putting down her book she reached out and clasped his hand; together they made their way down to the mess hall.

Rodney was stunned when they entered to find Waffles, pancakes, French toast, bacon…all the true fixings of a real home made meal and not just that military stuff. To top it off, there was a table, albeit it small, table filled with wrapped presents, and several cards. A large banner hung in the middle of the room…somehow, reading "Happy Birthday Rodney". Everyone even looked to have signed it.

"Happy birthday!" cried everyone at once. Not everyone on the base was present; Caldwell was there, Carson, John, Teyla, Ronan, most of the science teams, a lot of the military personnel that dealt with McKay on a daily or weekly basis, some of the medical teams. Although everyone he saw brought a smile to his face.

"You guys did this for me?" Rodney asked grinning.

"Well…it wasn't easy; we've been talking with Earth for the past two weeks of ways to get your favorite foods here. Needless to say we did manage it. Now…dig in!" grinned John as he gestured to the table.

o0o

"So anyway, my mother asked him, in the car what his intentions were, needless to say…Rodney wasn't to pleased," beamed John as everyone laughed.

"Dude, I had just caught Mono, how would you feel if your mother chose that moment to ask you if you were sleeping with the infected chick," pointed Rodney.

They had turned to telling stories from Rodney's past, although Rodney and John so far had been telling most of them. There had been a few memorable moments from other staff members, but a lot of them had been Rodney purely as a young kid.

"Okay, wait I have a request," grinned Elizabeth, "I wanna know about the nuclear bomb."

Rodney rolled his eyes while everyone else laughed, John nodded, "Okay, with the science fair less than a day away…

_"Lauren…" Luke took a deep breath over the phone and forced a smile onto his face. "We've got a small problem…could you come down to the station please," Luke murmured trying to remain quiet._

_"I'll be right there," Lauren replied as she quickly hung up the phone. _

_Luke Sheppard hung the phone up slowly and turned back to the interrogation table, his hazel eyes falling on the child they had decided to foster just over six months ago. He'd be eleven in less than a week, and he pulled a stunt like this. Luke carefully eyed the two police officers, the school's principal and the two federal agents that were now speaking to his son. _

_"Luke…" came a voice from the door._

_Luke offered a warm smile as he shook Elaine's hand, "Nice to see you again…I just wish it was under better circumstances," whispered Luke._

_"Me too…" Elaine replied as she looked at Rodney. In the months that he'd been with the Sheppard family, it was fairly pleasant. Rodney was getting used to being with the family and they loved Rodney. She slowly turned to Rodney and looked at the child, his face was pale, he looked terrified, but what caught her attention was the way he was looking at her in sadness and fear, tears were welling in his eyes and threatening to overflow. "Rodney," she said curtly, but the tone never reached her eyes. _

_"Elaine…" he whispered softly. He looked back over at the man who had been like a father to him for the past six months and shook his head. _

_Everyone was quiet as the FBI agents continued to question the boy, suddenly the door opened again, "MOM!" cried Rodney, before anyone could think or speak, Rodney hurled himself into Lauren's arms. _

_Lauren saw her little fireball running towards her in fear and she instantly braced herself. Hefting the child up into her arms as she held him close to her, "Shh, I'm here baby," she whispered gently. _

_"Don't leave me mom, please don't leave me," he sobbed into her shoulder._

_Lauren sighed as she eyed her husband, then her eyes landed on Elaine and everything began to connect, "no sweetheart, you're not going anywhere I promise," Lauren replied as she ran her hand through his hair. _

_"Gentlemen…Elaine, may I speak with my husband," she asked softly._

_"Ma'am…this is a matter of National Security," explained one of the agents._

_"Look…agent…"_

_"Hudson," he replied._

_"Look Agent Hudson, this is a brilliant little boy, dying for attention from his teachers and wishing to impress his foster parents. Rodney has lived with us for six months. Trust me, he's not the member of any teenage…terrorist movements, he's just a little boy, he's my little boy. I'm sorry gentlemen, but you're finished here."_

_"Ma'am…you do realize the child made a nuc…"_

_"I don't care what he did, he's eleven, you're frightening him, he's a little boy, and like all little boy's he made a mistake, trust me, he'll be punished. Didn't you ever do something stupid Agent Hudson, when you were his age?"_

_"Of course…"_

_"Did you spend the entire week wondering if your mother and father would get rid of you?" _

_"No…" replied the agent._

_"Well I assure you this child will if you continue this. Please, do whatever you have to, whatever you have to get people off his back, but I will not allow you to harm this child a moment further," she said as he continued to cling to her._

_"He's started a file on himself, we can't stop that, I'm sorry…"_

_"That's fine, but are you finished?"_

_"Yes ma'am, I think we are…but if I may, I'd like to speak with your son for one more moment," Hudson replied._

_"Rodney," Lauren said gently looking at the child. He raised his blotched face from her shoulder, tears covering his face. "Look at Agent Hudson sweetheart."_

_Two blue eyes turned to Agent Hudson's dark brown, "What you did…was…dangerous Rodney, I realize it wasn't a functional bomb, but you scared a lot of people. Rodney, I need your word that you will not do this…ever again." _

_"Mr…Hudson," the boy finally spoke. "I wanna work in the space program….can I still do that?" he whimpered._

_Jack Hudson smirked; he had a son barely younger than this boy. Shaking his head he reached for the boy and sat him on the table, where they could look at each other directly. "Rodney, you just made a nuclear bomb…so I don't think your brain is going to hold you back. You're going to be grounded for a very long time kiddo, but after that…have your mom give me a call, I know a few people."_

_"Really?"_

_"Yeah, but this is punishment, remember that…"_

_"Wait a minute Jack…" spoke the other agent grinning, "You're putting this kid with a smarter person as punishment?"_

_"Ah yeah, someone has to out smart him," joked Jack. "What I'm trying to say Rodney, is that you did make a mistake, but like all mistakes it'll blow over. You're going to have a record with the FBI now…but don't' worry about it, keep yourself clean and I doubt you'll ever see either one of us again."_

_"You're not going to take me away from my parents?" he asked softly._

_"No…No Rodney, we don't take children away from parents unless the parents are bad to the child…and from the looks of it I think your mom and dad love you to pieces."_

_Jack smiled as he ruffled the boy's hair and looked at his friend, "Come on Bobby, I think it's time to go…Luke, we'll call you," Jack said shaking the Captain's hand._

_"Sounds good, thank you Agents," he replied smiling weakly. _

_Lauren walked over to her son and shook her head, "I don't even want to know how you made a non-working model nuclear bomb…however…you are grounded for a very long time."_

_"Mom…" he whispered._

_Lauren's beautiful blue eyes stared into his beautiful ocean eyes, "Yes?"_

_He reached out for her again suddenly, tears falling down his face as Elaine watched him, "Please…please don't send me back," he cried._

_"Oh, honey," She hugged him close for a moment, "Rodney, I would ground you if we were sending you back. You made a mistake baby; you didn't blow up the world…a stupid little mistake. You're going to get involved in working somewhere as a volunteer…you're going to spend a few weeks in your room, you're going to be mercilessly ribbed by your brother and then it's going to be over. You're—Luke and I love you; you're our son sweetheart."_

_Rodney opened his mouth to speak, but Luke came over and gently cupped the back of his son's neck, "Listen to me kiddo, just because Lauren and I didn't have you biologically, doesn't mean that we don't love you just as much as Johnny, you're our little man just as much as he is. We love you. You're mom is right, you're going to do some community service, you're going to spend a few weeks grounded in your room, and you're going to be suspended for a few days. We've already forgiven you."_

_"I'm sorry dad," whispered Rodney._

_Smiling Luke pulled his son into a hug and nodded, "I know kiddo, I know. Elaine, maybe you'd like to say something to our intrepid…evil genius," smiled Luke._

_"Rodney, I'm here strictly for you; that was a cry for attention, why?"_

_"Cause I wanted mom and Luke to be impressed."_

_"Sweetheart, they're already impressed, they love you…promise me you won't ever do this again."_

_"I won't…I promise…unless it's my job," he stated suddenly remembering Agent Hudson had said._

_"Good, that works for me. Luke, Lauren I'll see you guys later. Rodney be good."_

_"I'm sorry," whispered Rodney._

_"You're forgiven, let's get home," Luke replied._

_o0o_

"Wait a minute…" Carson said, "You got off scott free?"

"Oh no…" John said laughing, "He spent the next three weeks under house arrest essentially. He was driven to school by dad, picked up by mom, spent most days in his room for three very long weeks. Not to mention he had some trouble with the kids at the school too…no Rodney didn't get off with nothing, he also spent the entire summer working at a summer camp for kids interested in the space program."

"You did?" Elizabeth whispered.

"Hardest job I ever had to do. I was never put through so much work in my life—but I loved every moment of it. By the time I was fifteen I was a camp counselor there. I still hated kids, but I loved the idea of space. I was working with astronauts on a regular basis."

"So…next story," grinned John.

"How did you meet Elizabeth?" asked Radek.

Rodney grinned, "Well…ironically I didn't actually meet her via the Stargate Program."

_Elizabeth slipped into more formal attire, feeling refreshed after her short nap in the car and a shower. She still had an hour before meeting the Foreign Minister. A short walk around the block -- or the Russian equivalent thereof -- would be nice. As she stepped into the hall, a security guard jumped to his feet. _

"_Doktor Weir!" His surprise came through even his thick accent. "Can I help you?"_

"_Nyet, spasibah," she assured him. "I'm just going for a walk. Pogulyaoytye."_

_He nodded, unsure. "The Minister expects you in one chas."_

"_Yes, I know. Don't worry, I will not be long."_

_She stepped out into the cold Russian air and breathed deeply. No doubt the guard would follow her despite her assurances but she was grateful for even the semblance of privacy. She had never been to Russia before, but she had studied the country extensively and dealt with Russians at the UN. Even though the Cold War was ostensibly over, many Russians still didn't trust Westerners -- particularly Americans. She was fairly certain she was under constant surveillance._

_Out here, though, only one security guard was watching her and no one could hear anything she said. She reveled in the feeling, letting the bustle of a busy Moscow street flow around her as she strolled aimlessly. She had always loved the Russian language and the snatches of Russian conversations that drifted past her had a very calming effect. Suddenly, her reverie was broken by harsh English cries._

"_Hey! Can you tell me where I am? Does anyone speak English? Hey! I'm talking to you! English? Directions? Where am I?"_

_She frowned, trying to find the speaker. It wasn't too difficult; she soon spotted a frantic man standing on a corner, trying to snag various passersby. He wasn't dressed for the weather, she noted; only a white lab coat overlaid his first layer of clothing and, when he wasn't yelling at pedestrians, he jumped up and down to keep warm._

_She approached him from behind just as he exploded with a frustrated, "Why doesn't anyone speak English?"_

"_Maybe because we're in Russia," she suggested with friendly wit._

_He spun around with unbelievable speed. "Oh, thank God, you speak English," he sighed with relief._

"_Can I help you?"_

"_Where am I?" he asked bluntly._

"_The Foreign Ministry."_

"_Oh," he acknowledged neutrally, concentrating hard on something. "Okay, so I just went in a circle. Okay," he repeated, apparently to himself, before starting off._

_Elizabeth watched the odd man walk away, his white lab coat making him easy to spot for quite some distance. It was a strange encounter, to be sure, but she thought little of it. The meetings of the next week were going to be more than enough to occupy her attention._

_**Three days later**_

"_Minister Ivanov," Elizabeth smiled, inwardly gritting her teeth in frustration, "I assure you, the United States has absolutely no intention of attacking Russia. The list simply reflects nations that have, in the past, been hostile to the US. We must be prepared to defend ourselves." This was not the first time she had said this, nor, she expected, would it be the last._

"_As must we, Doctor Weir," Igor Ivanov said earnestly, leaning forward and pointing to himself to emphasize his point. "It is...disconcerting to us when an ally is secretly planning to send a nuclear bomb to our country."_

"_If we were secretly planning this," Elizabeth pointed out, "would it have been published in the newspaper for all the world to see?"_

"_Ah, but secrets are not always kept," Ivanov returned swiftly. "For that matter, how do we know the newspaper article was not just a ploy to divert our attention from an actual missile pointed at Russia?"_

"_And yet your country has long-range missiles aimed at the United States, does it not?" Elizabeth mentioned casually, her smile never wavering._

_The Foreign Minister hesitated slightly. "That is...an unfortunate remnant of our less friendly times," he allowed. "It is only a matter of government efficiency that they have not been removed."_

"_Of course," Elizabeth inclined her head respectfully, resisting the urge to roll her eyes._

"_I do not think we will progress much further today," Ivanov sighed dramatically. "Dobri vyecher, Doctor Weir. Da zaftra, until tomorrow."_

"_Da zaftra, Minister Ivanov," she replied. He stood as she left._

_o0o_

_He sighed as he jotted several notes on his list. He shouldn't be doing this; he was a scientist, not an accountant. But there was no one else -- at least, no one competent enough -- and so he took on this job, too, along with the other twenty hats he wore at this facility. _

_He scowled as his pen suddenly stopped working, scratching only faint indentations into the page. "Chast Ruskaya starya," he muttered, throwing it in the wastebasket and reaching for another. It was one of the few Russian phrases he'd bothered to learn, along with Nyeh kosnetyesi etah! (Don't touch that!) and the very important G'dyeh twalet? (Where is the toilet?)_

_Chast Ruskaya starya was probably his favorite, though. It meant 'piece of Russian junk' -- or at least, he hoped it did. He'd pieced it together out of his phrasebook/dictionary and had yet to try it in public, but it served him well as a private expletive._

_He sighed again and returned to his catalogue. It was a cross between an inventory (nothing had gone missing yet, but you couldn't be too careful) and a budget. He hated having to justify scientific expenses to outsiders, especially outsiders as tight-fisted and military-oriented as the Russian government._

_Suddenly feeling like the cluttered 'office' was too small, he scribbled a short shopping list from his work so far and left the building. He hadn't been outside since his little excursion three days ago and felt the need to stretch his legs a little. That and his stash of American junk food could use some restocking. The various nuts and bolts (literally) the facility needed provided a convenient excuse to get out._

_He paid more attention to where he was walking this time, determined not to become disoriented again. He hadn't been lost last time, really; he'd just gotten turned around. He would have found his way eventually, even if that American woman hadn't helped him. And he certainly wasn't afraid to venture out on the Moscow streets again; he'd just been tied up with work. Scowling, he tugged his coat tighter around him. At least this time he'd remembered warmer clothes._

"_Stupid freezing place," he grumbled. "It's supposed to be spring. Backward country can't even keep up with the weather."_

"_Some people do speak English, you know," a voice commented behind him, startling him. "You might want to be more careful."_

"_Jeez, don't do that," he managed, holding his chest dramatically._

"_I'm sorry," the voice said and, turning, he saw the face behind it. It was the woman! The American who had helped him three days ago. "I didn't mean to frighten you."_

"_I wasn't frightened," he mumbled. "You're not following me, are you?"_

_She chuckled. "No. He is, though." She pointed out a bulky Russian man about 20 meters behind them._

"_What?" he turned, unconsciously trying to hide behind her. "Why?"_

"_The Cold War may be over," she explained, moving so that she was facing him again, "but a lot of Russians still don't trust Americans."_

"_I'm Canadian," he responded automatically. She raised an eyebrow. "Right," he muttered, embarrassed._

"_I suppose two chance encounters merits an introduction," she changed the subject, offering her hand. "Dr. Elizabeth Weir."_

"_Dr. Rodney McKay," he reciprocated. "Let me guess, poli-sci doctorate." His voice bordered on condescending._

"_One of them," she smiled. Her tone was modest but the subtle, unspoken 'Don't underestimate me' was not lost on him. "Hmm, I'd say yours is in physics."_

"_One of them," he smirked._

_A passerby jostled them on her way past, giving a small "Izvinitye" as she hurried on. Elizabeth returned an automatic "Nichevo" and Rodney's expression changed from annoyance to surprise._

"_You speak Russian?" he asked, smiling innocently. She nodded slowly, eyebrows coming together as she tried to determine what he was planning. "Can you read it?"_

"_Yes," she admitted. "Why?"_

"_I'll pay you twenty dollars to come shopping with me," he blurted eagerly. It was about the last thing she had expected to come out of his mouth._

"_Canadian or US?" she joked, still unsure what exactly this was about but interested nonetheless._

"_Canadian," he shrugged. "Still, I bet you don't have anything better to do."_

"_Well, no..."_

"_Look," he huffed, getting impatient. "I just need someone to read labels for me. I could figure it out on my own but that would take a lot of time and patience. Do you want to or not?"_

_Elizabeth wasn't sure why she agreed to help the obnoxious Canadian do his shopping. He certainly wasn't the most agreeable company, but something about him intrigued her. The diplomat in her was fascinated by his tactless honesty; he said things she had thought but would never dream of speaking aloud. The woman in her simply wondered why he was so difficult; there had to be some reason for his prickly behavior. _

_She found him several different varieties of washers, nuts, bolts, screws, screwdrivers, and, oddly, paperclips. She wasn't sure she wanted to know what he was going to do with them, although she assumed they were work-related. When meeting Westerners in Russia, it was best not to inquire about work. The personal purchases were far more interesting, anyway._

"_Do you really need thirty Snickers bars?" she asked incredulously when he emptied the grocery store's shelf._

"_Hypoglycemic," he offered by way of explanation, already tearing into one candybar. "I just wish they had more." He was apparently also rather fond of a Russian brand of powerbar, claiming its restorative powers as fairly legendary. He bought fifteen._

_His choice in 'real food' was fairly bland, she thought, so she suggested some lemons for flavor. He sighed dramatically. "Allergic to citrus. I've always assumed that's why the whole 'when life throws you lemons...' thing doesn't work for me."_

"_What do you mean?" Elizabeth asked. It seemed an odd statement, almost a joke but more of a personal revelation -- if an unintentional one._

"_Uh, well..." He seemed surprised, because she had asked or because he had said it in the first place, she wasn't sure. "Just that I've always been something of a pessimist. Only I call it realism."_

_Her translation was not needed for his coffee purchase; apparently he didn't discriminate._

"_Coffee is caffeine," he explained around his Snickers as he scooped up bags and bags of beans. "I don't sit around savoring the aftertaste of my roast in conjunction with the fineness of my grind. If there was a faster way to get caffeine in my system I'd do it, but the IV's not very practical."_

_She laughed, helping him load the bags into the basket. Costco could have been invented for this guy. She looked up, realizing he was no longer grabbing coffee with the feverish intensity of a dying man. He stared at her with a strange expression on his face, almost awed._

"_Rodney?" she asked, concerned. "Are you all right?"_

"_Hm?" He blinked, as if just waking up. "Oh. Yeah, I'm fine. It's just...never mind."_

"_It's just what?" she pressed._

"_It's nothing," he insisted. At her look, he sighed. "No one's...ever...laughed at my jokes before," he trailed off into a mumble._

_It was her turn to be rendered speechless as he tossed the final few bags in the basket and started walking away. No one had ever laughed at his jokes? She felt a wave of pity rise in her chest for this rough-around-the-edges little doctor who hid behind his credentials and his sharp tongue, never allowing anyone close enough to hurt him._

_Just as quickly, however, the feeling faded. Elizabeth realized that what Rodney McKay needed was not pity; he needed a friend._

_**Two days later**_

"_You have done very well, Doctor Weir," Dmitri smiled, escorting her back to her room._

"_Thank you, Dmitri," she returned his smile wearily. "I only hope relations between our two countries continue to improve."_

"_With people like you leading the way, I do not see how they cannot." He stopped outside her door. "I will see you tomorrow evening at the banquet?"_

"_I will be there. Da tagda," she said, retreating into her room._

"_Until then," he echoed._

_She slipped out of her shoes and walked across the room, savoring the feel of the lavish carpet on her bare feet. Spotting the phone on the bedside table, she slowly made her way towards it. She had a phone call to make; Dmitri's mention of the formal affair the next evening had reminded her._

"_Operator? Canadian embassy, please." She held her breath while she was connected, hoping this would work. "Good evening. I'm looking for a phone number for a Canadian citizen working in Moscow..."_

_Rodney frowned in concentration, tightening a nut here and there and listening closely to the hum of the generator. Almost got it, almost...there! He wiped his forehead, though there was no trace of sweat, and smiled tightly in satisfaction. This was why he liked machines; they were easily understood and their problems could be fixed with the turn of a screw. _

"_Doktor Mac-Kay?" He turned. His de facto second-in-command -- Sergei, he'd finally learned -- stood nervously, licking his lips._

"_What is it? Did what's-his-name overload the sensors again? If I've told them once, I've told them a thousand times: naquadah has a much higher power output than--"_

"_Ah, no," Sergei interrupted, smiling placatingly. "There is no prablyema. Only telephone for you."_

"_Oh," Rodney blinked in surprise. He wasn't due for a meeting with whatever government department ran this operation for several days. Who else would call him?_

"_Telephone in office," Sergei reminded him when he didn't move for several seconds._

"_Thank you," Rodney retorted sarcastically, rolling his eyes. He walked into the office and snapped up the phone, barking, "What?"_

"_Rodney?" a female voice asked, apparently unperturbed by his less-than-polite greeting. "Elizabeth Weir. I translated labels for you the other day?"_

_As if he wouldn't remember her. "Ah, yes," he replied. "I guess I, uh, never thanked you properly for that." He cleared his throat. "Are you sure I can't pay you?"_

"_Quite," she answered. "At least, not in money."_

"_Um, what?" he asked, startled. Suddenly he realized how little he actually knew about this woman. Scenes from The Godfather sprang unbidden to his mind. "What, uh, what did you have in mind?" he asked, trying and failing to sound calm._

_If she noticed his discomfort she didn't mention it. "The Foreign Minister is having a celebration tomorrow evening and, well, I could use an escort."_

_He couldn't contain his sigh of relief. "Um, well," he stalled, recovering from his surprise, "I'll, er, have to check my schedule. It's been very busy at work lately and you never know when something else will go wrong. Can I, ah, call you back?" He winced. Even with his limited social experience, he did not think that sounded like the right answer._

"_Of course," she answered graciously, giving him her number. "I'll talk to you later, then."_

"_Right, yeah. Bye." He hung up quickly and stared at the phone as if it were an alien device. Well, no, he was used to alien devices by now; this was something entirely different._

_Had she just asked him out? He realized he wasn't the foremost expert (an extraordinary admission in itself) on Sadie Hawkins-type customs but it hadn't seemed to be a romantically motivated request. Part of him said, Take it where you can get it, McKay; another part of him wondered vaguely what people would think if he admitted that his best friend right now was an American woman he'd met less than a week ago. Then again, who cared?_

_He picked up the phone and dialed the number she had given him. It rang several times and he was about to hang up when her voice came on the line._

"_Weir."_

"_Elizabeth?" he confirmed, swallowing._

"_Rodney," she answered with surprise. He didn't blame her; it hadn't been three minutes since he'd hung up on her._

"_Um, yes," he replied nervously, before blurting, "Do you still need an escort?" It was a stupid thing to say, he knew, but he couldn't -- for once -- think of anything else._

_It was silly, but he was sure he could hear the smile in her voice as she answered, "Why, yes. Are you available?"_

_Elizabeth stood before the mirror, concentrating on getting her earrings on. She was looking forward to tonight; it had been a long week and it would be good to relax for a couple of hours. Also, it had been a long time since she had been out with a man as a friend, with no romantic obligations. A soft knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. _

"_Doctor Weir?" Dmitri called. "Are you ready?"_

_She slipped on a shawl and grabbed her purse, checking herself one last time in the mirror before opening the door._

"_Dobri vyecher, Dmitri."_

"_Smotretye krasevyeoysheme," Dmitri breathed, making her blush. "Ah, Doctor McKay is waiting at the ministry."_

_She took his proffered arm for the short walk to the ministry. As they came into the ballroom, she found herself searching for the familiar face Dmitri told her should already be there. In the sea of tuxedos, though, it was difficult to spot anyone._

_A black-clad figure five feet away snagged a waiter and grabbed two hors d'oeuvres from his tray, asking, "Limon?" When the waiter shook his head, the man popped both appetizers in his mouth with hardly a thought. Elizabeth smiled slightly, thanked Dmitri, and made her way over._

"_Rodney," she greeted him, tapping him on the shoulder._

"_Ewivabef!" he choked, turning halfway towards her and swallowing. He completed his turn and stopped cold, gawking openly._

"_Rodney," she prompted gently after a few moments. "Rodney, you're staring."_

"_Wow," he finally managed, blinking. "You, uh, look really...nice."_

"_You clean up pretty good yourself," she returned, smiling. It was true; shaved, hair combed, in a tuxedo, and even wearing a splash of cologne, he was new man._

_He glanced uncertainly at himself, tugging at his jacket. "I feel like a penguin," he groused, though with little real acerbity. "And, uh," he frowned, "Dmitri wouldn't tell me where he got it. It's not stolen or anything, is it?"_

_Elizabeth chuckled. "No, just...borrowed."_

"_Oh, great," he shrugged with false brightness. "I feel so much better now."_

"_Ladies and gentlemen," the Minister Ivanov greeted. "Dabro pazhalovat!" Obligatory applause followed the welcome. "It has been a long week in the world of politics. Tonight, we celebrate!" More enthusiastic clapping this time. "The last thing you want to hear is more of my voice," he smiled indulgently at the somewhat canned laughter, "so I say only: Dinner is served." _

_Rodney applauded loudly with everyone else at that news, following Elizabeth to a table. He was almost in his chair before he remembered that he ought to seat Elizabeth first, causing an awkward moment as he tried to stand and pull her chair out at the same time. Once they were all seated, the food came. Now this he knew what to do with._

"_Limon?" he asked the waiter, just to be sure. The waiter responded swiftly by dropping a lemon slice into his water. "No, wait--!" Rodney cried, too late. "Never mind."_

_Elizabeth discreetly traded water glasses with him before demurely returning to her own meal. She was far better at this sort of thing than he, understandably, and it was making him uncomfortable. Regardless of how little importance he placed on social rituals, he did not like being second-best at anything. Not a problem, he thought wryly. I'm probably closer to hundredth-best._

"_How are you holding up?" she asked quietly as the first course was cleared._

"_Fine," he lied, giving a pained smile._

"_These things are a bore," she admitted, smiling graciously at their table-mates, "but I'm glad you're here."_

"_Oh," he replied, surprised. "Well."_

_He was saved any further awkwardness by the arrival of the second course, which he promptly dug in to with great fervor. He only looked up when his plate was half cleaned, suddenly realizing that his manners were probably not the best. Normally he wouldn't have cared, but Elizabeth had been nice enough to invite him to this thing; the least he could do was not disgrace her by eating like a pig. On the other hand, he was starving..._

"_The music is lovely," Elizabeth noted, to no one in particular._

"_Maybe to the untrained ear," McKay mumbled, wincing even as he spoke. Elizabeth frowned. "I meant," Rodney backtracked, "I've always been a very technical person. My piano teacher said I should give it up because I was too 'clinical.' I just have a thing about mistakes," he finished lamely._

"_You play piano?" Elizabeth asked, surprised._

"_Played," Rodney corrected. "I listened to that teacher and went into science instead. Hey, dessert!"_

_It felt surprisingly good to dance with a woman who wasn't his sister. As he held Elizabeth and moved around the dancefloor, he was suddenly very grateful she had stopped to give him directions a week ago. Had it only been a week? It felt like he had known her for years. _

_The song ended and he walked her back to their seats. He almost hated to admit what a good time he'd had. Not that it had been particularly interesting, but Elizabeth's company made up for the numbness of the rest of the evening. He was stunned at how she was able to meet him on his level, something he rarely found in...anyone._

_Suddenly, the room became too small. He needed to escape, like Cinderella, before something happened to ruin the evening. It was late enough; he could reasonably beg off with the excuse of an early morning._

"_I should go," he told Elizabeth._

_She nodded. "Let me walk you out," she offered. He didn't object and they walked silently to the front steps of the ministry. He barely noticed the cold as he turned to face her._

"_Elizabeth," Rodney swallowed hard. She probably wouldn't understand all he was trying to say but that didn't matter. "Thank you."_

_Impulsively he leaned forward and kissed her lightly on the cheek. Drawing back, he saw through her unshed tears that she did understand. Smiling crookedly, he turned and walked into the night. His image lingered in her sight long after his black dinner jacket had melted into the darkness._

"_Thank you, Rodney," she whispered._

o0o

Everyone had a smile on their face as they looked between the couple that had come so far in such a long time. "So imagine my surprise when two years later I get a phone call from the very same Elizabeth Weir…asking for my expertise in a matter involving something highly secretive."

"How did she know to come to you?" asked one of the scientists.

"She remembered that I worked for the Air Force, and when she was told to pick a scientist, she gave me a call, I was actually in Scotland at the time…"

"Is that how you got Carson?" Zelenka asked, remembering that they had been friends before Atlantis.

"No…not exactly, actually I met Rodney…what, seven years before we found out about the Atlantis project?" Carson asked looking at his best friend.

"Yeah, that sounds about right…I think I was about twenty…nine?"

"Aye, you were," grinned Carson.

"How did you meet?" John asked, not recalling this story.

"I was doing research on space travel and it's affects on the body over a period of time. I was sent to the states for a few months…"

_Taking a deep breath Carson looked up at the large building…this was NASA, he'd spent so much of his life researching genetic make up, stress effects on the body, and finally here he was, with the top position as medical supervisor to the NASA program for an unknown amount of time. Experiment after experiment, he'd finally come up with a way that might help lessen the stress on the astronauts as they went through all their tests. _

_Stepping through the door way he looked around, people were everywhere, "I'm a scientist! Just let me fly once!" came a loud voice._

_Carson looked through one window to see a man about 5'9 to 6 feet arguing with a man that was much taller than him, "McKay, you haven't held up to any of the tests, I can't send you into space if you can't keep your head on straight," stated the larger man._

_Carson stepped away from, the doors as McKay came bursting through slamming his way out of the office. "Oh, Doctor Beckett you're here, good. McKay, get back here!" called the man._

_The guy named McKay turned around and scowled, stalking back over to Carson and the taller man he glared for a moment at the doctor, "Who are you?"_

_"Carson…Doctor Carson Beckett," he answered quickly, jutting out his hand in politeness, which was quickly ignored._

_"Rodney, this is our new supervising Medical Officer temporarily, maybe you could discuss with him the problems you seem to be having," suggested the man as he quickly headed off in the opposite directions. Rodney glared at Carson, who instantly grimaced in nervousness._

"What was wrong with you?" Elizabeth asked.

"It was his claustrophobia; he became nervous every time he began one of the tests. Rodney wasn't nearly as controlled back then as he is now. Anyway I was there for about six months before I was reassigned back in Scotland. We met a second time there, when he arrived for a physics conference. I was in an apartment at the time, and offered him someplace to stay for awhile. He was between jobs at the time anyway…so he stayed with me for about a month then Elizabeth called. I was already on the Air Force payroll as well when I served three years with the equivalent of Scotland's Air Force," explained Carson.

"He was also the foremost expert in his field, both in surgical experience and genetic manipulation. He was famous, everyone in Scotland, Ireland and parts of the US knew him," grinned McKay.

"So much history," smiled Zelenka.

"Well, happy birthday Rodney, it's great to have you here, have everyone here," John grinned clapping his brother's shoulder.

"Yes, a toast, to the birthday boy," chuckled Elizabeth as held her glass in the air. There was a surrounding agreement.

"Happy Birthday Rodney," Elizabeth whispered pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"Thank you, it's been the best birthday ever," he replied softly looking into her beautiful eyes, he could hear John calling to eat cake. "I love you," he murmured to her, trying to keep his desire to kiss her in check.

"I love you too," she replied smiling.

Author's Note: This was not the chapter I wanted to announce this in, however I feel you all have the right to know this anyway. I'm currently taking a break from Saving Grace for a month, you'll get the updates, however I'm not writing it for now, becuase I feel the need to write some other things, including some Rent and Doctor Who stories. I apologize, but I promise I will get back to this as soon as I feel some new and fresh ideas instead of just beating the crap out of all my characters over and over again. Thank you for your patience :)  
-Steph-


	65. Damned if You Do

Author's Note: This is going up a few days early in honor of my last two days of classes :) Today and Monday. Finals begin on Wednesday next week and once those are finished I will offically be a sophomore. So wish me luck. anyway here's another chapter, NebbyJ mentioned this seems a lot like Last Witness which is her story where Rodney get's into some trouble. Truthfully when she said that I actually had to go back and look to see which story (sorry Jen). Anywho this isn't meant to look like anyone single person's story, this came from an idea my Relgion class gave me about what if you were standing in the ER and someone came in telling you that essentially you couldn't treat the patient because of the religion. So that's how this story came up :) Enjoy!

Chapter Sixty-Four: Damned if You Do, Damned if You Don't

_"Whatever houses I may visit, I will come for the benefit of the sick, remaining free of all intentional injustice, of all mischief and in particular of sexual relations with both female and male persons, be they free or slaves."—Hippocratic Oath, Paragraph 6._

Carson packed the final box and loaded it into the back of the jumper. John was up in the front readying the ship for take off, and Rodney was packing some of his own equipment into the back.

Carson had offered to provide the recourses for inoculations for the planet the babies and mothers of planet MG6-983 after Atlantis formed an alliance with them a little over a month ago.

Rodney had arranged a lesson in generators and heating systems. The inhabitants weren't vastly pre-technological people, however their winters tended to be vicious, and after Radek and Rodney spent several hours going over schematics and arguing, they had finally developed a solution to better heat the city.

John had essentially offered to baby-sit his brother and the physician. He had also offered to talk to the leader about beginning a military, in case the Wraith did ever try and strike—so the people could have some line of defense.

Sheppard watched from the co-pilot seat as Beckett plopped in the chair gracefully behind the pilot's chair, looking rather unsure about all of this. "Good to go, Doc?"

"Aye," Carson murmured.

The resident doctor was becoming easier about going off world, but flying altogether seemed to be a different matter. John was snapped from his thoughts as Rodney sat down in the pilot's seat. "Ready? the scientist asked his brother.

"You're the pilot," grinned John.

"Control, this is Jumper One, we're packed up and ready to move out," Rodney called over his radio.

"Thank you, Rodney, you're good to go, be safe," Elizabeth replied, smiling softly.

John quickly dialed the gate as Rodney carefully lowered the jumper into the gate room. He was pleased when his brother strung the needle successfully. They had been practicing off and on over the past two years; Rodney was slowly starting to improve. Carson, on the other hand, completely refused to learn how to pilot the jumpers any better. John was getting dangerously close to pulling rank on the good Doctor and having Weir order him to learn.

Rodney carefully brought the ship down to a clearing nearly fifteen minutes later, just outside the medium sized city.

"Good job Rod," grinned John as he slapped his brother's shoulder a couple times. "Let's move out," he suggested as Rodney reached out and let the rear hatch down.

Each grabbing a duffel of their portable gear, they made their way into the sunny city.

Lord Argon was there to greet them with a warm and welcoming smile. "Greetings Colonel Sheppard, Doctor McKay, it is nice to see you again."

"It's nice to see you as well. Dr. Weir sends greetings also. Oh," Sheppard gestured to Carson, "this is Doctor Carson Beckett; he's here to help protect your people from diseases."

"Ah, yes, Doctor, this is the head of our Healing department, Doctor Deena Amerisin. She will show you to the house of healing."

"Thank you," Carson spoke with a genuine smile.

"Doc, try and wrap it up in two hours. We'd like to head home by thirteen hundred hours," John told his best friend, glancing at his watch.

"Aye," Carson agreed before heading off with the red haired doctor.

"Dr. McKay, perhaps you would like to see our labs, get to work on our heating problem?" questioned Lord Argon.

"Yes, of course, lead the way," Rodney consented with a nod.

o0o

Everything was going smoothly when 12:30 rolled around, and Carson was certain they would be able to call it a successful day by one. He'd begun talking to some of the doctors about their discoveries in medicine, when there was a scream from near the doorway.

Carson looked up, horrified to see a woman perhaps in her thirties; she was covered in blood as she gripped her stomach. Tears were streaming down her pale skin.

Running to the woman, he was just in time to catch her before she hit the ground and lowered her to the ground gently. "I need some help!" he cried as he looked at her stomach, it was still seeping blood. Her eyes, however, that had once been filled with fear, were now glazed over and empty. He reached out and pressed his fingers to her neck. "Damn," he hissed, quickly pinching her nose as he blew a puff of air into her mouth. He gave a second puff, and then began chest compressions; all the while mindful of her wound.

He was completely unaware of those around; who were now watching him, stricken with horror and even some anger. "What are ye doin'!" growled Carson suddenly, "She's dyin'!" he yelled again.

"Stop," called one of the doctors.

Carson cried out again, "What are ye' doin…don't ye understand she's dying!"

"Stop," the warning tone from the doctor resonated again through Carson's ears.

Carson looked up into her deep jade green eyes and felt anger flare through him, "Why are ye all just standin' there!"

"Step away Doctor Beckett," another, much more menacing tone barely broke through his ministrations.

Carson didn't respond, he just continued to try and help the dead woman. He felt a sudden chill blaze up his spine when he felt cold steel pressed against the base of his neck, and the sound of a pulse gun charging. Whoever was trying to grab his attention; had just succeeded, "Step away from her," The cold ominous voice spoke in even tones once more.

Carson felt fear crashing down upon him like a tidal wave upon a surfer. Slowly he raised his hands in the air and got to his feet. He took a step back from the dead woman's body, feeling sick. He hissed in pain as the man suddenly wrenched his hands back, tying them together behind Carson's back.

"Doctor Carson Beckett, you're under arrest," spoke the man.

"Wait! No you don't understand! I was tryin…to help!" he screamed and fought as he was propelled out of the building.

o0o

John and Rodney were speaking with King Argon when one of his guards stepped inside. "Your highness, I must speak with you," the man spoke in a serious tone.

"Certainly. Excuse me, Colonel," the king said before he stepped out into the hallway.

John looked over at Rodney, "You know those bad feelings I seem to get every now and then?"

"You mean the one you're getting now?"

"You sense it too?"

"Yeah--"

Before they could say another word, the King stepped back into the room, "Gentlemen, I think it would be best if you go…"

John looked from Rodney to the King, "Whoa…wait a minute, Go? Why?"

"I'm sorry; I'm not at liberty to say."

"Wait. Where's Carson?" Rodney suddenly spoke up.

"I said you need to go," the King said with more force.

"We're not leaving until you either tell us where our friend is—or tell us what's going on."

"I said…"

John didn't hesitate and he whipped his handgun out of its holster, and leveled it on the king. "I said, where is our friend? Don't make me ask again," John stated.

"Doctor Beckett was just arrested," the man glowered.

Rodney's eyes widened. "What the hell for?" he bellowed

"The assault and murder of Lady Shareen Holmes," the King reluctantly answered.

"Assault?" Rodney and John roared at the same time.

"Murder! You've got the wrong guy," Rodney quickly defended his best friend. "Carson wouldn't hurt a fly."

"We have witnesses, many of them agreeing all to the same thing."

John shook his head. "Now wait a damn minute! Don't we have Diplomatic Immunity! Doesn't he get a hearing or a get out of jail free card?" He asked with furrowed eyebrows.

"Murder far exceeds any Diplomatic rights, Colonel! What Dr. Beckett has done is punishable by death."

"Hang on..." Rodney began, but was quickly interrupted.

"Guards, please escort these two back to their ship and make sure they leave," commanded the King.

The brothers didn't get another chance to speak as they were practically dragged out of the king's home. "John…what are you gonna do?" Rodney asked in a low voice as they headed back to the jumper.

"I dunno—but I'm open to suggestions. We're heading back to Atlantis; to at least inform Elizabeth of what's going on."

"She isn't gonna like this," murmured Rodney.

"No…she definitely isn't going to like this," John replied, stepping into the Jumper, the door closing behind him with a resounding hiss.

o0o

"WHAT?" Elizabeth Weir was dumbfounded, at a complete utter loss for words. "This was supposed to be a simple mission, John! He was supposed to go in there, give a few shots, and walk out! Can't you three stay out of trouble for two hours!"

John winced. 'Yep, definitely not going to like this,' he thought. "In all fairness, Carson was just doing his job--"

"Yes, well, right now he's sitting in a deep hot pot of water for doing said job!" she sighed, slowly massaging her temples. "All right, we're going back. I will speak with the King. Meanwhile, you two try and talk to Carson: figure out exactly what happened, and see if there isn't some way to break him out of jail. And for god sakes, stay out of trouble!"

"Come on Rod, lets get loaded up again," John said steering his brother out of the room.

Elizabeth shook her head in disbelief; those three were quite possibly the most unusual, unluckiest three men to ever step foot in Atlantis. "Teyla," she called over her radio.

"I am here, Elizabeth," Teyla's quiet response crackled over the comm.

"Carson's in a bit of a bind. I'm heading back with John and Rodney to try and patch things up. Look after the city please." Elizabeth normally left Teyla in charge, should anyone need anything and Teyla was on Atlantis, they were to go to her.

"Of course, Elizabeth. Be safe my friend," replied Teyla.

"We'll try, Weir out," she whispered as she frowned.

o0o

The sun was beginning to dip into the horizon when they arrived back on the planet a little less than an hour later. Elizabeth walked between Rodney and John, her face set in stone, as they approached the high council's chamber. She was prepared to argue and fight…to do almost anything to get her CMO back.

She didn't hesitate to walk right into the king's chamber. His abnormally glassy gray eyes met her green ones, "Dr. Weir, it is pleasant to see you again…"

"Cut the formalities, King Argon, you know why I'm here. Where's my Chief Medical Doctor?" She wasn't the type of person to be rude and annoying, however, at this very moment, she was more concerned for the welfare of Carson than anything.

"Doctor Weir…" the man began.

"Where is he?" Elizabeth demanded with more firmness. She wasn't going to back down, not when it meant one of her own. She didn't leave anyone behind.

"He is in the jail house; I assure you he is unharmed."

"He'd better be. John, Rodney, go find him and speak with him," Elizabeth commanded.

"Yes m'am," John replied as they turned to walk out of the chamber. "Remind me never to get on her bad side," he mumbled to Rodney, who simply grinned.

"Dr. Weir, I apologize for the way things have developed…"

Elizabeth took a deep breath and spoke evenly, "Lord Argon, why was Doctor Beckett arrested?"

"He assaulted and murdered someone."

"No, Carson heals people…What happened?" Elizabeth muttered.

o0o

"I tried to give her CPR," Carson enlightened. "She came in bleeding profusely, from her stomach…She fell to the ground…I searched for a pulse then started CPR. I was tryin' to help."

"We know, Carson. Was there any possibility you hurt her further though?" John asked.

"Aye…I suppose; it's always possible that we could injure someone further…but it's very unlikely."

"How unlikely?" Rodney asked.

"About as probable as ye becomin' a three star general an' marryin' Colonel Carter by tomorrow," replied Carson sarcastically.

"That's pretty damned implausible," mumbled John.

"Hey!" bit Rodney.

"Could ye two focus, please!" snarled Carson.

o0o

"You don't understand, Dr. Weir, he violated our religion…"

"How?" Elizabeth asked, trying to keep her calm.

"No married woman is to be touched by someone other than their husbands. The man who does the violating is usually killed on spot. You're lucky Doctor Beckett's made it this far."

"Did Carson even know about this?"

"I doubt it…I did not tell him."

"Then how can you expect him to comply to such rules if he does not know them?. King Argon, we cannot obey your rules if we are not informed of said rules. Doctor Beckett is a medical doctor. I assure you; he did not cause this woman's death, intentionally or otherwise. He would never deliberately desecrate your beliefs or religions."

"Perhaps not. However, a woman is dead and he was the last to touch her. It's in the hands of the council."

"Wait, you can't possibly hold him accountable…"

"Maybe in your world murder is taken lightly, but here, we avenge the victim! Diplomatic Immunity cannot save him."

"Then why have it?" growled Elizabeth.

o0o

"I dinne kill her!" hissed Carson.

"We aren't saying you did, Doc, but you're standing behind the iron bars right now. We've got twenty-four hours to find a way to either bust you out or get Argon to let you out. Otherwise, you're as good as dead."

"And how do you plan to do that?" Carson barked at his two best friends.

John shrugged, his brow furrowing again, "I don't know…Maybe if you apologized and promised never to do it again--"

Carson quickly cut him off, "I can't make that promise, Colonel! I'm a doctor; it's my job to save people's lives. I took an oath. I'm not trying to play God, but I do all in my power to save lives!"

"I'm sorry, Carson," John knew how serious Carson took his job.

"Its okay, lad, I don't mean to be short with ye…"

"We're gonna get you out, Carson, I promise," whispered Rodney as he smiled sympathetically at his best friend.

"I hope so…I don't wanna die," mumbled Carson.

"Don't worry, Atlantis can't afford to lose you…Who would keep us alive?" smirked John, gaining a glare from both men.

"Right. I'm gonna look around; talk amongst yourselves," John moved off to find a way to get Carson out.

"Rodney, honestly I didn't know about their religion."

"We know, but does it really matter? Face it, Carson, you still would've tried to save her."

"Aye…you're probably right."

Rodney reached out, placing a hand on his friend's shoulder through the bars, "Don't lose that Carson, that amazing will to help people—it's what makes you…you."

Carson gave a sad smile, "Won't matter much will it, if I die."

"You're not gonna die."

o0o

"Lord Argon, I'm sorry, but isn't there anyway we can over look all of this mix up?"

"I'm sorry, no; we take our laws very seriously here. It would give a very bad impression if we let you all just walk away."

"I'm warning you, Argon, if you try and kill him, we will fight you…"

"Is that a threat?"

"No," she said in anger, "it's a promise. If you're going to condemn a man over something he doesn't even know about, then that makes me question your ability to govern."

"We consider women to be sacred among our people."

"They are among ours as well!"

"Do you not punish those for violation of a woman?"

"Yes," replied Elizabeth in anger.

"How is that any different?"

"In our world rape is well known! Those who violate people in our world know what they're doing when they do it! They may do it, but it is in their own anger or accord! They do it with the intent to hurt! Carson Beckett did no such thing! He was simply trying to help someone he saw who was hurt, possibly dying, and did his job. He did not assault, injure, rape or kill anyone!"

"Dr. Weir, if you insist on being loud, I can have you removed from my chambers…"

"King Argon…" she paused, losing her temper was not a good idea, "let my doctor go!"

"He has broken laws…"

"He will be punished, but killing him won't fix anything, it won't avenge anything! It won't help the trade we're willing to make with you…"

"How do I know you would truly punish him?"

"You have my word," Elizabeth replied softly.

o0o

"Did you find anything?" Rodney asked as John returned.

"No…that's not saying there isn't something, that's just stating that I didn't find anything." He stopped, looking up as though he was figuring what he'd just said, out in his head.

"Thank you for that, Colonel," mumbled Carson, rolling his eyes.

"Sorry, Carson…it's a pretty screwy religion to be killing someone because they touched a dying woman…" John muttered.

"Well, not really…" Rodney replied. "I'm serious, think about it for a minute. I'm the last person to talk about religion, but this is different. Imagine someone coming to us, and hurting or violating a woman—or even raping her, and then telling us—that it's a way of cleansing the woman. I know it sounds really weird, but it's possible, and don't tell me for a minute that it's too odd, no it's not. We've run into stranger religions. Remember the kids who killed themselves. They're scared and they don't understand our ways…To them…some things are a little more sacred than they are to us…and I doubt they really even comprehend CPR…"

"Wow Rod…that was actually some deep thinking," smirked John.

"Please hit him for me," muttered Carson to Rodney.

"We could try and pick the locks," Rodney suggested.

"When did you learn how to pick locks?" John asked raising an eyebrow.

"I haven't…but now would be a great time to learn…" Rodney said grinning.Carson simply threw his hands into the air with a deep sigh.

o0o

"The hearing will begin tomorrow. You and your people are welcome to stay of course…" King Argon spoke.

"Well, I'd prefer there was no hearing, but we'll be staying," replied Elizabeth, her voice filled with annoyance.

"Perhaps you would like to go see your doctor?" questioned the King.

"Yes, I would."

"Very well. Doctor Weir—it would not be wise to try and break your friend out."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Elizabeth replied with John's usual saying.

o0o

Elizabeth sighed as she reached out and squeezed her friend's hand. "I've got some good news, bad news, and worse news…"

"Aye…I figured as much. Give it to me backwards, lass," Carson replied as they all took a seat on the floor, forming a sort of circle, only with bars between them and Carson.

"The worst news is, I couldn't get you out of the hearings—believe me I tried," Elizabeth explained forlornly. "The bad news is that the hearings begin tomorrow at dawn, and they'll have your sentence by sundown."

"There's good news?" Rodney mumbled.

"Sure…she just saved a bunch of money--"

"John!" the three friends bit before he could finish his sentence with a sheepish smile.

"Yes, Carson there is good news. I'm defending you—your acolyte of sorts is what they call it. Lord Argon feels that with a woman defending, you have a bit of a better chance."

"Is that all my news?" Carson asked in a defeated tone.

"Ah…no, I know a way to break you out; if it comes to that," Weir said smiling.

"Really?" John's eyes brows spiked in surprise.

"Yes…Rodney, I need you to fly me back to Atlantis tonight, then we'll return before dawn and discuss what happened. John, I want you to stay here with Carson. Make sure he's safe…I trust these people about as far as I can throw them."

"Can do," replied John.

"Good. Rodney, shall we?" she asked standing to her feet.

The scientist nodded, quickly gaining his footing. The two friends left, Carson and John watching them leave. "What do ye think she's up to?" Carson asked.

"Oh…I have an inkling. I guarantee you when this is all over ,the alliance we made…is shot," whispered John.

"Oh…I imagine," replied Carson rolling his eyes at his friend.

o0o

"Do I even want to know how this all started?" Stephen Caldwell inquired as he looked from Elizabeth to Rodney.

"It's complicated, but we need your help, Colonel…" Elizabeth explained.

Rodney respected her greatly for many things; this was just one of them. It took a lot of guts to go to Caldwell and ask him for favors. He was like the mafia with the whole 'scratch my back and I'll scratch yours' thing. He always seemed to want something in return.

"So all we have to do is hang out, over this planet…and wait for your signal…Then "beam" you all out?" Caldwell asked.

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Yes Scotty, could you please beam us up?" he snapped. "This is serious, Colonel, we need your help. These people are going to kill our top physician if we don't find a way to get him out of there soon."

"Why don't we just go and do that now?" Caldwell requested, glaring at the cocky astrophysicist.

"You're only a precaution…we don't want to anger them, so we're going to try and make them believe Carson is innocent. If they decide to kill him; then we'll call you guys. It's a last resort Colonel, but it may be his only hope."

Caldwell nodded, "We'll be there, Dr. Weir, ready and waiting."

o0o

The Jaren's weren't very different from Earth in the set up of their hearing. Carson sat quietly by Elizabeth's side, Rodney sat in a row of chairs right behind them. John stood in the back of the room, a gun holster hidden under the back of his shirt in case anything went wrong.

The Daedalus hovered cloaked just over the large city, ready for the signal from Sheppard. Three other cloaked jumpers had landed minutes away from the building. Rodney had already programmed the Jaren's Stargate to only dial Atlantis once more before the address was permanently locked out of their system. Upon arriving home, Rodney would also lock the address out of their system completely.

Elizabeth had made it excessively clear they weren't taking any risks on this one. She glanced over at Carson and offered a soft smile as she reached out and squeezed his hand reassuringly. "You look sick," she spoke quietly, a sad smile gracing her beautiful face.

"I've never really been arrested--or accused of murder before," he whispered as he gripped her hand as though trying to gather strength from her.

"Carson, you did nothing wrong. You tried to help…that's why we all love you. You care so deeply about all lives; even people who threaten to hurt or kill you. It's an amazing quality," she whispered softly.

"Aye…and one that may get me killed," he replied, his frown turning to a weak smile. "Thank ye, lass."

When everyone were called to their feet, Argon strode confidently inside the room and took a seat before group. "The hearing today is Dr. Beckett vs. The late Lady Holmes. Dr. Beckett you have been charged with the assault and murder of Shareen Holmes, where do you stand?" Spoke King Argon.

"Innocent…King."

"Very well, tell me doctor, were you aware of our laws and practices at the time of the death?"

"No sir."

"Very well, Dr. Weir you are free to speak," Argon nodded to the woman.

"Thank you Argon. Doctor Amerisin, please have a seat," Elizabeth spoke firmly but remained calm as though she had been doing this sort of things for years.

The doctor hesitantly took a seat, waiting for Elizabeth to begin the questions. "Doctor, do you have methods that do not involve machines to sustain life until help arrives?"

"Of course," replied the doctor.

"Certainly, yet you did not practice said method when the woman came into the clinic…Why?"

"Dr. Beckett reacted before I had a chance."

"I see…You didn't stop the Dr. Beckett, could I ask why?"

"It was not my place."

"Really, because when I hear the name 'healer'…that leads me to believe you are expected to save lives…isn't that correct?"

"Yes," the doctor replied evenly.

"But Doctor Beckett asked repeatedly for help, and you stood by and allowed him to commit a crime he knew nothing about. Tell me doctor, did you know about the laws and crimes he was committing?"

"Of course," the healer reacted indignantly.

"Okay, now wait a minute. Let me see if I've got this, you knew about these laws, you didn't tell Doctor Beckett--then being one of the few who could help this poor woman: you chose to stand by and do nothing. That seems a little strange, doesn't it?"

"I was in shock," the woman offered.

"Right. How long have you been healing people, Doctor?"

"Thirty cycles," the woman smiled proudly.

"Uh huh, and in that time…you've seen a lot of different situations, right? I mean, certainly you've come across situations similar to this one. You've had to react similarly with speed and accuracy. In fact, I have your report here--it says here that this woman could have survived. So, why didn't she?"

"Blood loss."

"So, it wasn't Doctor Beckett?"

"No," the doctor answered tersely.

"In fact, he helped sustain her for those few minutes…" Elizabeth coincided

"Yes," her abrupt reply startled Elizabeth slightly.

"You can return to your seat now Doctor, thank you." Elizabeth smirked as the woman dejectedly returned to her seat. Nodding she looked at Rodney, "Dr. McKay, take the stand please." She waited for her friend to take a seat before smiling tenderly at him, "Dr. McKay, do you know CPR?"

"Of course. It's standard medical aid that all off world personnel know emergency care, to the very least of medics…"

"Right. Rodney, would you please tell the court what CPR is, and how it helps the victim?"

"It forces air into unresponsive lungs, causing the body to pump oxygenated blood through the system as you press down on the heart….pumping the blood through the vicitim's veins, decreasing the risk of organ failure and brain damage."

Carson smiled fondly at his best friend. He had taught Rodney that a long time ago, when the astrophysicist had insisted upon knowing why such a thing was important to know.

"Have you ever performed CPR?" Elizabeth continued the questioning.

Rodney replied curtly, "Yes."

"On who?"

"Friends," Rodney returned.

"On a woman?"

"Yes," Rodney murmured as Seri shot through his mind.

Elizabeth paused for a moment. She knew who he was thinking about, she could tell as pain flashed in his eyes. "Have you ever been given CPR?"

"Yes." Again Rodney nodded, looking from Elizabeth to Carson.

"How many times?" Elizabeth could count them on one hand, and she could vividly remember every second he hadn't responded to the treatment.

"Once, maybe twice…"

"Four times," mumbled Carson, "if ye don't count the allergic reactions."

Elizabeth offered a weak smile to her friends, "Rodney, would you say Dr. Beckett his good at his job?"

It was the real question, Rodney could complain about Carson all he wanted, but the truth was something all together different. "Carson is the--he's the best friend and the best doctor any man could hope for in an emergency. He's my brother, my friend, and he's always taken care of us."

"Thank you, Rodney, you can step down," Elizabeth replied.

Rodney nodded and paused when he looked at Carson, the Scot smiled gently at him. "Thank you," whispered Carson.

"I meant every word," answered Rodney as he took a seat.

"Carson," Elizabeth called sensitively. "Why did you come to Atlantis?" she asked when he'd taken a seat.

"To save and preserve lives…to learn about our history."

"And why did you come to this world?"

"To inoculate children from diseases."

"Carson, why did you perform CPR on Lady Holmes?"

"She was dying, she was frightened and askin' for help," responded the physician.

"Carson, did you in any way violate this woman?"

"No!"

Talking erupted throughout court at Carson's admonishment.

"Easy Liz," Sheppard's voice broke through her earpiece.

"Carson, if someone were to suddenly collapse in this court, what would you do?"

"Help them."

"Even if it was against their religion."

Carson didn't hesitate, "Yes."

More talking erupted suddenly. "Why?" Elizabeth continued.

"My job is to treat all patients like I would a family or friend: To treat them by all means possible, and to make them comfortable if I cannot cure them. I am to do all within my power to save lives. If a person dies, then at least I tried to give them a second chance. If they live, they have another day to be thankful for."

"You wish to play god?" rebuked King Argon.

"No!" shouted Carson. "On the contrary! I only wish to stave death off! God wishes fault to me as he does everyone else! I am not perfect, nor do I believe I am. God gave me a big heart; it's my best and worst trait. Every day a little bit dies in me when I don't save someone. I don't claim perfection, or to be God…I claim to heal within my power…and leave the rest to whoever is watching."

"Carson," Elizabeth paused, "are you sorry?"

John watched from the back as whispers continued, he had to admit he was very interested in this answer.

"That she died…of course. No human life should be violently cut short. Am I sorry I tired to help? No, most certainly not, it's part of who I am and what I do. If ye wish to condemn me for my beliefs, then so be it…but I am not condemning you or your beliefs! Killing me for your beliefs, is no better than what you feel I did!"

"What do you mean?" Argon asked.

"You said that I violated your beliefs by touching her. If you kill me…you will be violating my belief in helping people. That's no different."

John smiled, as everyone else seemed to consider the doctor's words. If nothing else, Carson was elegant with his words. "I think our doctor may be a Socrates," John whispered through the radio.

"You can step down. Thank you, Carson," Elizabeth whispered with a light smile at John's words.

o0o

No more than twenty minutes later Lord Argon stood and looked around at his people, "We have lost someone we all knew. For that injustice one shall pay. That someone, however, cannot be Doctor Beckett."

Elizabeth instantly clasped her friend's hand with a grin on her face.

"Doctor Beckett, I've discovered how noble a man can truly be. It takes great courage to step up and try to help someone, then to remain standing in your beliefs, even in the face of death. We cannot condemn you for doing your job. You and your friends are free to go, we wish to continue trading; however will understand if you decide not to."

"Thank you, King." Carson offered a grin as he stood, Elizabeth threw her arms around his neck, Carson chuckled as he hugged her with just as much gusto.

"Let's go home, Bones," Rodney declared as he clapped his best friend on the shoulder.

The three friends made their way to the back of the court room, where they were met by John. The solider stepped in front of his good friend, placing a hand on either side of the stubbly cheeks. "Let's go home, brother," he whispered.

The four friends marched out of the court room, people watching them out the windows and the doors, as they quickly dialed the gate. Elizabeth watched carefully as the two cloaked jumpers entered the horizon, she could see the changing in the wormhole, when she got an all clear from Radek on the other side she nodded to her three friends.

Hand in hand, they stepped through the wormhole. They had won another battle.

o0o

"Well, for what it's worth, I'm glad they decided you were okay," joked Laura as she scooted closer to her boyfriend. His arms slid around her shoulders as he smiled.

"Aye, me too," he concurred with quiet laughter.

"Who do you think shot her?"

"I have no idea, love."

"So…wanna watch the movie?"

"I'd love to." Leaning back and holding Laura closer, Carson pressed the play button.

Until Next Time


	66. An Angelic Farewell?

Author's Note: Okay, so I'm sorry to announce (and yet I'm not) that Saving Grace will be finished in ten possibly elevenmore chapters. There will be a final chapter that leaves the story open ended, which I plan to write a short sequel in the future. However as of this moment, I plan to have the story finished and up by July 14th, the day Stargate Atlantis' third season starts. AU stories are starting to make me feel very limited and stressed perhaps. I would like to focus my stories more on tags, and in between moments rather than AU or shippers. I promise, however, that with the sequel all loose ends will be tied up and you won't be left wondering what if or how did this happen. Thank you everyone for sticking with this for so long, it will be my longest running fan fiction ever written :) I owe it all to you.

Chapter Sixty-Five: An Angelic Farewell

Elizabeth sat behind the desk, watching the near toddler sitting up on her knees on the chair as she colored with one of the crayons. The girl was irresistibly cute; her hair was in two small pigtails, the honey blonde nearly reaching her shoulders, curling up just at the ends. She seemed so young, yet Carson had told them that she was progressing faster than most children her age. At fifteen months she was already at the mental level of most three year olds. She was just starting to get down talking in sentences and was progressing quite well. Elizabeth also knew that Rodney was spending nights with her, reading aloud, pointing and teaching her grammar. He had also taken to teaching her some Russian, and he'd even got Carson involved in teaching her some Gaelic. She was smart, and learned very quickly.

She was hanging out with Mommy Elizabeth today because Rodney was busy in the labs as well as getting ready for a mission in a few hours. So Elizabeth had gladly offered to take her little angel for the day. Lauryn was anything but hard to look after, she usually put all her attention on something until it was finished, very much like her daddy.

Elizabeth smiled again as her eyes returned to her paperwork; she still couldn't believe it had been a little less than two years since this angel had come to their world. Although sometimes Elizabeth worried, it was no secret that this girl was well beyond humans in advancement. However, Rodney had told her there was little to worry about; she would be a little girl for as long as he could allow her to be.

"Eliza," Rodney stepped into the room, instantly Lauryn's head shot up at the sound of her Daddy's voice and she was off the chair into his arms within seconds. Elizabeth had to grin; it was not something she'd ever considered, having a daughter. She had always just assumed one day she would get married and have children. That's how most women did it, but she'd never actually considered having this small being in her life, filling her every moment with absolutely joy.

But to this little girl, Elizabeth was mommy, and Rodney was daddy. It was a whole new experience for Elizabeth, some days seemed more overwhelming than others, finding her self half in charge of such a young life, but other days she just couldn't get enough. Elizabeth realized this was parenthood, that's what made it so fascinating.

Rodney had changed greatly, he wasn't the same man he had been nearly three years ago, and he certainly wasn't the same man he'd been even two months ago. He'd changed so largely in the past months just because of Lauryn; he was a father now, and not just another scientist. He mattered to someone every moment of every day. He'd found his place among Atlantis, and his life.

"Hey, I thought you guys weren't leaving until later…"

"We aren't but, I was getting hungry and I thought I'd come see if my two favorite girls would like to join me for some lunch?" he grinned at her, a wide smile that made Elizabeth's heart lurch a little. Three years ago he never would have admitted to the fact that he was hungry and take time from the labs.

"We'd love to, wouldn't we Lauryn," Elizabeth returned as she moved around her desk and joined Rodney at his side.

Rodney held Lauryn in his arms, as he and Elizabeth spoke of missions, memories and the future. It was nearing two in the afternoon and the commissary was nearly empty with the exception of a few people lingering around as they spoke. Rodney handed Lauryn to Elizabeth and went about gathering food for all three of them, then joined them at the table.

"You're in an awfully good mood," chuckled Elizabeth as she removed her food from his tray. "Any particular reason?" she smiled.

"Maybe…yes…" he paused and pulled out a long velvet black box and handed it to her, "This is the "anniversary" if you will of the day I first met you back in Russia. I know it seems small and dumb…but you made a huge impact on me that day…just by helping me, and I wanted to thank you," he replied.

"Rodney," Elizabeth grinned as she reached out and opened the box, she gasped, the necklace was gold, and had three small hearts connected side by side, one was bronze, silver and gold, a small diamond lay in each one. It was absolutely beautiful. "It's…" she couldn't find the words.

"I'm glad you like it…The gold heart is for Lauryn, because she's our first child," Rodney explained then he pointed to the next heart and smiled, "The silver is for our second child…and yes we're going to have more kids, boy or girl, it'll be the middle kid and should always know how much he or she is loved. The bronze one of for our last little one, for her beauty and grace…" he looked up at her.

Elizabeth smiled, tears reaching her eyes as she nodded softly, "It's beautiful Rodney thank you…but how can you be so sure we're having two more?" she asked as she moved it so Lauryn could gawk over it for a moment.

"Every dream…or…whatever you want to call it…I've been happily married to you with three children, Lauryn, a boy and a girl. Truth is I don't know what's in store for us Elizabeth, but I know I want two more beautiful children with you, and only you."

"Thank you Rodney," she whispered a reply.

"It's also a promise," Rodney continued as he moved around to link the necklace on her, "That although not today and not tomorrow…that one day I will ask you to marry me," he finished.

She placed a hand to his cheek, "I never doubted it, thank you Rodney," she smiled as she allowed her other hand to wander to the necklace. "I love it," she whispered again.

"I love you," he told he pressing a kiss to her cheek.

o0o

Rodney couldn't help but notice the familiarity that surrounded them as they trudged through torrential rain. He was far too busy noticing the desert stretching out in front of them for miles, to realize the rain was beginning to chill his bones.

"Rodney…" John spoke up before the younger sibling could voice the obvious thoughts on his mind, "Isn't this the world we found Lauryn on?"

Well…yes and no," Rodney returned over the roar of the rain, pushing the rain plastered hair from his forehead he looked back down at his wet life signs detector. "It's almost identical."

"But…" John could sense the 'but' coming by Rodney's confused tone.

"But…there are life signs here…and I mean a lot of life signs, probably 100 yards or so in front of us. There were no detectable life signs on Lauryn's planet, and Lauryn was so weak, it was a miracle we even happened upon her."

"Is there any possibility these could be the same people from Lauryn's planet?" Teyla questioned from the scientist's side, her expression worry-filled.

"I hope not," John and Rodney both murmured.

Ronan shot them both a curious look, "Why, she could be united with her family again…" Ronan couldn't understand what would be so wrong about that.

"Anyone who is willing to leave a defenseless infant alone to die of starvation or thirst…doesn't deserve to be reunited with her," Rodney answered with contempt.

"Rod, we're not here to judge…lets just check this place out first before jumping to any conclusions," John suggested as he noticed the hints of a town less than a football field in front of them.

"John…" Rodney began to defend his position.

John rapidly cut his brother off, by whirling around and looking at the scientist, "Rodney, try to be on your best behavior, I agree, we all know where Lauryn belongs, but these may not be the same people, we can't have you losing your cool. Not here."

Rodney heard the clear warning, but John's eyes held nothing but sympathy for his younger brother. He quickly nodded, and with that they continued their trudge towards the city. John could feel his brother's obvious vibes when they finally reached the city to find it identical to the one where they had found Lauryn; the biggest difference was it was indeed populated. A few people were out on the streets with umbrellas, but for the most part many seemed to be hiding from what had become a heavy drizzle.

"You there," came a voice to the left of them, a strong looking woman, with dishwater blond hair and bright blue eyes waved them over, "You should not be out here, you could become ill. My name is Fraha, please come in out of the rain…it will be night soon, it can be dangerous at night with the rain," she spoke gently as she stood under the overhang of a house that was an exact replica of the house they had found Lauryn in.

Rodney felt his heart drop like it was on a rollercoaster, the woman was no more than nineteen or twenty, she had a sweet smile…and her eyes were mirror images of Lauryn's.

"Uh thanks," John replied as he cautiously led the team into the warm inviting house, "I'm John, this is Teyla, Ronan and Rodney," he explained as he gave her the most charming smile he could.

"The young alien woman smiled as she closed the door behind them, "Welcome to Marlianian, you should truly be more cautious about the times you travel through the ring, the nights here are cold and with the rain it is deathly cold." She smiled kindly again, "Please have a seat in front of the warm fire, I shall bring you some warm food," with that she bustled out of the room and headed into what they could only assume was the kitchen.

John chanced a glance over at his rapidly paling brother, "You okay buddy?"

"It's her John…mother or sister, I don't know, but that's what Lauryn looks like as a grown up…"

"Listen to me Rod, we won't tell her anything, besides she may not even be related to Lauryn, and she may not want her."

"What if she does? I can't lose her John," Rodney hissed through a whisper.

"Here you are," she moved back into the living room and handed them each a coup of what John guessed was their version of chicken noodle soup.

"Thanks," John murmured his eyes still on Rodney's pasty figure, "So your people…"

"We are friendly people John, I offer whatever you would need or like. We only arrived on this planet a cycle ago. But we welcome all visitors through the gate who deem themselves peaceful and are not Wraith," she replied.

"What happened?" John probed.

"A mighty scourge, the Wraith came, fed upon many of my people, they took my mother and father as well…"

"Wow, I'm sorry, how many of your people survived?" John inquired.

"A hundred of us were able to survive," the woman answered.

"We would like to speak to the leader if we could. We're people of peace as well Farha, We would like to be able to help you next time you require assistance," John spoke calmly.

"Certainly, I am sure Sir Denin would be pleased to meet you. For now, however rest, much of the city is asleep. I shall bring you blankets and perhaps something to place your head on."

"Thank you again," John spoke as she left them in the living room.

A few hours later hey were spread out on the floor, sleeping soundly, with the exception of Rodney. All he could see was the past fifteen months he'd spend with Lauryn in his life. She was his everything, he couldn't imagine being without her anymore, like he couldn't imagine not living on Atlantis and not having Elizabeth to be with.

He jumped when he felt a hand land softly on his shoulder, he looked up to meet the hazel eyes of his brother, "Go to sleep Rod," he whispered, he'd felt his brother's uneasiness. "It's going to be fine."

Rodney nodded slowly and closed his eyes, dreaming of his two girls, Elizabeth his future wife someday, and his little baby girl. He took a deep breath, and allowed his mind to be taken.

o0o

_"Rodney relax," came the harsh whisper from beside him. Rodney glanced over at his best friend._

_"I'm sorry…it's just," he paused, Carson understood, he'd been waiting for this moment for nearly nine years, he was finally marrying her, "Here they come," whispered Carson._

_Rodney's eyes moved towards the isle, his six year old daughter dropped the petals on the carpet as she made her way towards daddy. She made a move to stand beside her father, when Rodney pointed to where Aunt Jeannie. The girl instantly ran over to her Aunt, who lifted her into her arms._

_Teyla came down the isle, gracefully, a kind smile on her face as she walked beside her husband. The split and Teyla moved over to the bride's side, while John joined Carson and Rodney. Finally Laura came down the isle, with a grin on her face, as she tried to keep her two year old son from running to daddy immediately. They reached the altar, and instantly the boy went to his father. Carson grinned and lifted Sean into his arms, pressing a kiss to the child's cheek as Laura stepped to Teyla's side. _

_The music began, and there at the end of the isle stood Elizabeth and Steven Caldwell. Her smile could have lit the room as she made her way towards him. Steven gave her a quick hug before sitting down to one side, taking Lauryn from Jennie. Carson quickly placed his son down and pointed to Grandpa Caldwell. The toddler hurried over to his surrogate grandpa. _

_o0o_

_"I love you," whispered Elizabeth as she and Rodney stepped onto the dance floor for the very first time._

_"Oh, trust me the feel is one hundred percent mutual," he replied as he kissed her again. So in love with this woman; they shared they're first song together, then as promised, Rodney swooped his little girl up into his arms, and Elizabeth pulled Sean into her arms, and the two danced with daughter and nephew. _

_They were the perfect couple, finishing off the group of couples on Atlantis. _

o0o

Rodney was pulled from his dream as his brother continued to shove his shoulder, jerking Rodney from the heaven his mind had created. He looked around and grunted something before sitting up. "We've got business little brother, Farha is taking us to breakfast with Sir Denin, she will be joining us. "

"Oh…uh okay," he replied softly.

They got ready then joined Farha in the now beautiful weather to the short walk towards another house not far away, it was slightly bigger than Farha's but just as pleasant.

Sir Denin answered the door; he was a tall man, a few years older than Farha, with dark black hair and bright green eyes. The politician instantly invited the newcomers into his house. He had them seated at the table, and soon they were discussing trades, "We welcome any and all help you could give us Sheppard, as you can see we are not the most advanced race," stated Denin half way through his breakfast.

"We'd love to help you, is there anything you could trade us?" John asked.

"We have an over abundance of food most cycles, we'd be all too happy to share that with you."

"You grow food here?" Rodney asked.

"Of course we do," smiled Farha.

"How, the planet is complete desert?" Ronan spoke up.

"Only on the side of the gate, we have done that so we cannot be robbed from, but I promise you, from here to the next several villages we have crops as far as the eye can see. We are private people, but we do not mind working with others. As long as you are not Wraith," he said smiling, "Which you obviously are not."

"Yeah…um about the Wraith, how did you all get away?" John inquired, curious to know why or how Lauryn had been left.

"We have evacuation codes, the children and elders go first, then the remaining men and women. My family, as well as Farha's family got out…"

"With the exception of my parents and little sister," Farha finished.

"Your sister?" John asked quietly, afraid to know.

"My mother was to leave on the next cycle of people to leave, with my sister, she was only four months old…my mother did not make it, the Wraith took over our house…I returned days later to find my sister's crib empty and my parents dead. I can only assume my sister was taken and killed by the Wraith," Farha said sadly.

John looked over at his brother quickly, Rodney shot a concerned look back at his brother, taking a breath he shook his head, "That's not true," he whispered.

"I'm sorry?" Sir Denin replied.

"We traveled to your planet…apparently only a day or two after the attack…we found your sister…she's been living in my care for the past fifteen months," Rodney murmured, praying she wouldn't demand for her sister back.

"Truly?" Farha asked.

"Yeah, she's healthy…and beautiful…and she's very smart," replied Rodney.

"I would love to see her…has she developed her talents yet?"

"Uh…she's developed a couple…a form of telekinesis, and she can change things with her mind."

"Excellent, she is right on schedule…may I please see her?"

"Uh…" John began.

"I do not wish to take her from you if that is what you are thinking," Farha defended herself, surprising both John and Rodney.

"Really?" Rodney said in surprise.

"Of course not…as long as she is happy in your care, I simply wish to know my sister."

"We…we could come back tomorrow morning…and I could bring her…and Elizabeth for the trade negotiations."

"That would be wonderful," Sir Denin stated smiling.

"Doctor McKay, perhaps you would also like to know a little more about my sister…"

"We call her Lauryn," Rodney explained.

"That is a beautiful and fitting name, she was Aniea in our world, but I was never fond of it. Perhaps you were care to know more about Lauryn and what will become of her abilities?" offered Farha.

"Really? Well…yes that would be amazing, I must admit I wasn't sure what to do with myself the first time we discovered them."

"Come, I'm sure you would like to see the first four months as well," smiled Farha.

Rodney smiled sheepishly for ever fearing these people, as he was led away by Farha. John just watched the two leave and shook his head, "I think Rodney's found a new friend."

o0o

Rodney smiled as he gently soaked the small girls hair as she tried to help him was her golden curls, "Yes, thank you, you're such a big help," he grinned as he blew some of the suds from the top her head. He then rinsed the soap and stood up. Smiling when she also stood in the tub; she instantly reached her arms out towards her father, Rodney scooped her up into his arms, wrapping a towel around her and carried her into the main part of their room.

"You said Farha doesn't want to take Lauryn away?" Elizabeth questioned as she took the girl from Rodney's arms, allowing him to get dressed and ready for another day.

"Apparently not, she just wants to know her…I hope they aren't planning something…" he replied as he pulled a shirt over his head.

"I wouldn't worry," Elizabeth calmed him as she continued to dry their adopted daughter off. She then reached for a pair of pants and helped the almost toddler step into them, followed by a shirt which she pulled over her head, "There you are, pretty in pink," grinned Elizabeth as she pressed a kiss to Lauryn's forehead.

Rodney came over and scooped her up into his arms again, and plopped down on the bed with her held tightly in his arms. By his side lay her shoes and socks, which he proceeded to get on her feet while she did her usual kicking game.

"Your daughter doesn't seem to like shoes Rodney," Elizabeth chuckled as she pulled her jacket on over her short sleeve shirt. She pulled her ear comm. on and smiled, "This didn't used to take two of us," she stated suddenly.

"Come on Lauryn," mumbled Rodney as he finally got the second sock on her resistant foot and reached for her shoes. "I think…" his words were interrupted by a groan from a well placed kick by his daughter, "Lauryn, you and I need to discuss this little habit of yours," he said quickly capturing one ankle.

"Are all of our children going to be this wild?" she asked softly.

"I sure as hell hope not, please help me," he said handing her the shoes. "I think the only reason it takes two of us now is because she's bigger and more of a handful, lets face it, she doesn't exactly sit still anymore like a little potato," reasoned Rodney as they swiftly applied the second shoe to her other foot.

"That's true, there, she's ready," Elizabeth said grinning as Rodney stood, his daughter still captured in his arms as she fought diligently to get free from his grasp.

"Someone's PMSing today," muttered Rodney as Lauryn got in another well placed kick to his groin.

"Be careful Rodney, or you won't be having any children let alone two," Elizabeth chuckled as they made their way to the jumper bay.

John had decided after two walks in the rain that it was time to smarten up and take the jumper. They would land a few feet out side of the city and then walk from there. Not to mention it was a tactical advantage should they want to take Lauryn for any reason.

"Oh good you're finally here," joked John as the trio entered the back of the puddle jumper. Rodney sent a fierce scowl in his brother's direction before depositing Lauryn in the co-pilot's seat for a moment.

Elizabeth chuckled as she picked Lauryn up and held her in her lap. "Now Lauryn, you remember the rules about flying in jumpers' right? No running, no loud noises and no touching?" Elizabeth asked.

Blond curls bobbed, and soon everyone was seated. Ronan was in the back, Rodney sat just behind John who was piloting, and Teyla sat behind Elizabeth, playing peek-a-boo with Lauryn, a game which she had caught Rodney playing on occasion when Lauryn had been younger.

o0o

They arrived by puddle jumper, on the outskirts of town nearly ten minutes later, John hadn't realized it was such a short fly by jumper, but he gently set it down, pleased that there wasn't a cloud in the sky. He let down the rear hatch and looked over at Lauryn, "Thank you ladies and gentleman for the ride and your participation, we hope you've enjoyed your flight with us, you are good to go," he grinned as he lifted the toddler out of her surrogate mother's job and pressed a kiss to the child's cheek.

They had a short walk into the town, where Farha and Sir Denin met them with wide smiles. Lauryn's eyes landed on her sister and she let out a squeal of joy, she instantly wriggled until John placed her on the ground. Lauryn clumsily ran towards her sister, who lifted her into her arms and hugged her for all she was worth.

"It has been ages small one," whispered Farha as she squeezed the girl. "I have missed you, you are well?" she asked.

The toddler surprised everyone when she nodded and pointed to Rodney, "Daddy!" she cried, then began to clap excitedly.

"Farha, this is Elizabeth, she's our leader," Rodney introduced smiling softly at his daughter.

"Welcome to our world, we are pleased to meet you, perhaps you and your team would like to come with us and speak of trade, while Dr. McKay and his daughter get to know Farha a little bit better?" Sir Denin questioned.

"Uh, sure, Rodney," Elizabeth said as she eyed her friend, he nodded to her, understanding what she wanted to say. John, Teyla, Ronan and Elizabeth headed off towards Sir Denin's house, while Farha smiled as she looked at Lauryn in her arms again.

"She looks very good Dr. McKay, it is obvious you love my young sister very deeply," Farha said gently.

"She's my daughter…"

"Relax doctor, I do not wish to take her from you."

"Yeah…um, I'm sorry that's the part I don't get…why?" he managed looking at her with confusion.

"You do not wish to keep her?" Farha said suddenly.

"No…no it's not that; believe me, I dread anyone ever taking this little life away from me. No, I…I guess what I don't understand is why _you_ don't want her?"

"Do you have any siblings?" Farha asked as they began to walk around the city.

"I have an older sister."

"How much older?"

"About nine years…"

"Were you very close?"

"No…not really we're not close to this day."

"Among our people doctor McKay, we consider siblings to be more than just blood bonds, but friendships as well. We allow siblings to go, when the time has come," she reasoned as she set her sister down to walk on her feet.

"How do you know when the time has come? Do you get to know each other? I mean I still regret to this day that I'm not closer to my sister."

"We are close by heart and mind, but we do not need to be close by proximity. True love, whether that of a significant other or a sibling does not always need closeness to be everlasting. As for how we can tell when it's the right time, we just know. It is not unusual for most children here to be on their own by the time they are seven or eight. They never wander far, they still have mothers and fathers, and they are watched closely by all those around them. Let me ask you something Doctor McKay…when Lauryn cries do you hold her to comfort her?"

Rodney nodded quickly, thinking of all the tears she had shed that had fallen to his shoulders, he looked down to see Lauryn nodding as well, causing him to smile.

"When she has a nightmare, are you the one she seeks for comfort and to feel safe?"

"Yes."

"Do you feed, clothe and bathe her?"

"Yes," Rodney replied again, unsure where this was going.

"Do you pull the blankets up over her shoulders at night, give her kisses in the morning and tell her you love her everyday?"

"Of course."

"Do you love my little sister Doctor McKay?"

"She's my heart and soul, she's changed me more than I could have ever changed by myself…Lauryn gives me a reason to wake up every morning and go to sleep every night," Rodney replied with conviction.

"Then why separate a child from someone who obviously cares for her so deeply that there could be no other. Even if I took my sister in, she could not see me as anything but a care taker, she sees you…and perhaps your leader as parents. I can tell you what she thinks about at this very moment Dr. McKay, and I promise you, her thoughts are upon you and Elizabeth, they are fond thoughts," answered Farha.

"So you're saying she belongs with me?"

"I'm saying that possibly, you two were destined to be father and daughter, that you were destined to meet this little soul and care for it. My mother and father loved and adored her, much like you, but they are no longer here. They would wish for her to be happy, if that is with you, then that is where my sister belongs."

o0o

Rodney smiled later that night as he scooped Lauryn off the floor where she was playing and plopped her onto her bed. Reaching down she pushed the hair away from her beautiful cherub face, "You'll see your sister again, I promise. We made a fairly good trade with them, we get good crops, and they get technology to protect themselves from the Wraith…not to mention a visit from you every now and then…I meant what I said Lauryn, I love you more than anything."

Two blue eyes looked back into his and she smiled, "I love you too daddy," she whispered as she placed both hands on his cheeks.

He grinned, laughing softly, "Goodnight princess," he leaned down and dropped a kiss to her soft pale forehead, before heading out of the room and turning off the light. Elizabeth sat on the couch in sweat pants and a t-shirt, she sighed as he dropped onto the couch by his side.

"I'd say that went very well today," Elizabeth said as she gently rubbed Rodney's neck.

"Score one for Team Atlantis," chuckled Rodney.

"I'm proud of you," Elizabeth whispered.

"Why? What did I do?"

"You kept your cool…the Rodney McKay I know, wouldn't have done that two years ago…you've come a long way in a short time."

"Such a good and wonderful guy," mumbled Rodney as he kissed her lightly on the lips.

"I should get back to my room," she whispered.

"Please don't," he replied softly as he looked into her beautiful green eyes.

"Not now Rodney, not tonight, I can wait, I will wait," she gently rubbed his rough cheek, pressing a kiss to it. "I love you."

"I love you too," he whispered as he watched her get up from the couch. With another quick kiss she left him alone in his room. He sighed and looked back at the door, "The sooner you propose to her McKay, the less often this is going to happen," he mumbled to himself before clicking on the laptop that sat on his couch side table.

TBC


	67. The Plague

Author's Note: Another favorite Chapter, how I'll miss some of these. Anyway so there will be roughly one chapter per week and towards the beginning of July there will be two updates, which will be the final two chapters. Then hopefull I'll have the short sequel up by September assuming I can figure out why and how the guest characters (not tellin' who) show up.

Chapter Sixty-Six: The Plague

The single figure ran as fast as his twig like legs could carry him, tripping over branches, and rocks on the forest floor, every once in awhile he chanced a glance back to see if she was still chasing him.

He stopped suddenly, noticing she was nowhere in sight, he gasped for air as he searched wildly around him; she'd been right on his tail. He looked back towards the city, surely they had heard his cry of panic, surely they must have known…but then no one truly believed in her.

He searched through the dark woods, looking for any hint of her, and that's when it came, the icy tendrils that could be described as he fingers, as they wrapped around his humanistic shoulder. He felt a shudder fill his very being, his stomach began to churn, his pulse sped up, and his breathing became rapid as he slowly turned to look the creature in the face.

He let out a wild cry as she floated through the air like a ghostly figure, her fingers still wrapped around his shoulder. As he looked into her clear vacant eyes, he knew at the very moment, he was as good as dead.

o0o

Elizabeth was already seated at their usual table with Carson and Teyla when Rodney chose to enter, everyone's head immediately turned when they heard a normally docile baby being quite fussy as she squirmed, whimpered and fussed in Rodney's arms.

Rodney himself looked exhausted, as though he'd been up all night with his little girl. He moved over to Elizabeth and all too quickly deposited the girl into her arms. Elizabeth instantly took the burden, whose cries suddenly became louder and far more distressed.

"Shh, Hey, you're okay," Elizabeth whispered as she cuddled her little girl closely, gently caressing the back of the girl's head, but the cries were frantic and frightened. If people hadn't been looking when Rodney walked in, they were all were watching now in concern.

Moments later Rodney returned with a tray of food and wearily took Lauryn back into his arms, her cries continued, but not as loud. Carson and Teyla watched as the parents tried desperately to feed the child, but she continued to squirm away, screaming at higher octaves every time a spoon or any food came close.

"Is everythin' all right Rodney?" Carson finally asked, knowing what the answer was.

"No!" cried Rodney in annoyance, "She's been like this since two this morning, cranky, I have tried everything from singing to her, to giving her a bath. I ended up giving myself a bath, and somehow my singing didn't do much either. I can't explain it, but I'm exhausted and I just want her to stop," he mumbled as he leaned his head against her's. She continued to whimper; suddenly she moved her head around, twisting in her daddy's arm as she latched onto him, wrapping her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. Her cries again softened by continued.

"Shh, daddy's here honey," he murmured as he rubbed her back, her head leaning against his shoulder and neck, he could feel her tears wetting his skin.

"I could give her a sedative if you'd like," Carson offered, not knowing what else to do. "Is she runnin' a fever?"

"No, she's fine, perfectly healthy from what I can tell, she won't eat, she won't sleep, and she just clings to me and cries."

"Maybe she just misses her daddy," offered Elizabeth as she gently rubbed the baby's back.

Lauryn instantly moved away from Elizabeth's touch, as though wanting no one but her daddy's comfort. He sighed and wrapped his arms tightly around her, enveloping her in his strong loving arms, pressing a kiss to her head he sighed, "Maybe that would be a good idea Carson," Rodney replied.

"Are you going to be up to the mission today?" Elizabeth asked.

"We have to go; this is the only chance we have to talk to these people. No, I'll be fine, and so will this little angel," he whispered as he continued rubbing her back in slow circles, her cries still penetrating the air.

"Ye know Rodney, perhaps she senses somethin', after all Farha said that was one of the many talents she's developed…"

"Maybe…but I hope not," Mumbled Rodney as he continued to rock the whining child.

"Perhaps she is simply like all young children…and havin' a…I believe Colonel Sheppard calls it 'Cranky Day'?" Teyla smiled softly as the other three patrons at the table chuckled softly.

"Well its way too early for the third option," retorted Rodney gently getting a grin from Elizabeth and Teyla.

"Ye never know Rod, she may not have the same time frame or problems Earth women do," Carson returned.

"No Carson," Teyla smiled gently, patting his hand, "I assure you all women…in many of the planets among this system…have a monthly problem, you simply call it different names, but I assure you we all start around twelve and continue well into our forties…" she grinned.

"Thank god I have another decade before she hits that age," mumbled Rodney, unable to think of his sweet angel biting off his head because she was having female problems.

"Don't worry lad, ye've got plenty of time, let me see her," Carson offered, understanding his friend was probably getting to the short end of the stick when it came to his patience.

Rodney gently handed over his daughter, Lauryn cried aloud for a moment, then turned in Carson's arms and looked up into his blue eyes, "There, there lass, Uncle Carson has ye…see, yer da is right over there," Carson said pointing to Rodney.

Rodney had taken Elizabeth's hand at this point and was smiling softly at his baby girl. He felt his heart breaking as she reached out to him with her stubby little fingers and arms, wanting her daddy back. Sighing Rodney stood from his chair and gently removed Lauryn from Carson's loving grip. Instantly she clung to her daddy again.

o0o

Rodney watched from the gate room, as Laura held Lauryn in her arms, the child crying again…or still crying depending on how one wanted to look at it. Still reaching out to her father; he felt his heart breaking as he looked at Elizabeth.

"Be safe," Elizabeth called, feeling fear well in her chest as she suddenly sensed the same thing Lauryn must have been feeling.

Rodney sent a nod in return, as he glanced one last time at his daughter and stepped through the wormhole with his teammates.

Elizabeth turned to look at Lauryn and Laura, Lauryn suddenly collapsed against her Aunt Laura, a single word penetrating her small lips, "Daddy." Moving over to her daughter, Elizabeth accepted the child easily; as the baby fell asleep Elizabeth's shoulder, no doubt exhausted from the many hours she had spent fussing. Although, Elizabeth could tell this was merely the beginning of whatever Lauryn was sensing.

o0o

The world seemed about as advanced as America had been back in the early 1970s. Their gate sat in the heart of the city, surrounded by buildings that stood stories high; they were easily one of the most advanced races Atlantis had met yet. Their roads were paved with something akin to cement. These people were ahead of the game. John wasn't even sure he wanted to know how the Wraith hadn't touched their planet yet.

"This is…" Teyla shook her head, unsure what to say, absolutely amazed by what she saw.

"Impressive," Rodney's thought stumbled through his mouth as he took a look around at the beautiful city that reminded him of a cross between New York and Chicago.

"It is quite beautiful…Colonel Sheppard, where are we to meet the Sovereign Matree."

John suddenly began to pat his pockets, grinning he slipped out a piece of paper, "That building to the left, the Jenivee Building, second floor, third door on the left," John replied, then quickly stuffed the paper back into his vest pocket.

"You wrote it down?" Rodney asked surprised at his brother.

"What? So I don't have a photographic memory like you…not everyone is perfect. Now if you'll focus we should be going," John said grabbing his brother by the shoulder of his vest and propelled him towards their building.

o0o

He was a tall man, unlike many rulers on other planets they had visited; he was young, probably in his early forties, with dark black hair that was quickly graying. He looked sure of himself and his ways of governing, he looked powerful, like someone not to be reckoned with. He was tall, probably just over six feet, and on the lanky side. His smile was trusting, his gestures were kind, and his words friendly.

"We will be pleased to do business with you, as I have told you, and you have seen, our medicine is quite limited, and we have a large forest that we can provide you both some power technology and the lumber you require."

"That would be wonderful Matree, our people on the mainland wish to begin working at becoming more advanced, and any help you could provide them is gladly accepted. And we are more than willing to help you in the medical department…we would like to meet those in your hospital at some point, and perhaps some of the others we will be getting to know."

"Of course, I would also like to meet these people you speak so fondly of, if this is possible?"

"I'm sure it can be arranged," John replied grinning as he looked at his friends, for once this would be a mission that would go over without a problem.

"Your Lord!" cried a man as he came running into the office.

"Midean, what is it?" the Sovereign replied quickly standing, worry etched on his face as he looked at the obviously younger man.

"Another has been found! He has the plague!" cried the younger man called Midean.

"Oh dear heavens, Colonel…you wish to see our medical facility, now is as good a time as any, come!"

The team was rushed across the street towards another large hospital directly across from the meeting building. They hurried inside, "What happened Catapet?" Matree questioned.

"It is the plague…"

"I'm sorry the plague?" Rodney asked, looking around the hospital like building.

"You have not heard of the Angel of Death?" Catapet spoke with wide eyes.

"These are the people who plan to help us with our advance in medicine… This is Colonel Sheppard, Dr. McKay, Teyla and Ronan, this is our head Healer, Catapet, he is excellent in diseases…however the Angel of Death is one we cannot stop."

"I'm sorry…but who or what is this angel of death?"

"Every ten cycles…she comes out of her forest, normally she does not leave the forest, and she hunts only those who cross into her territory. However during the ten cycles…we lose fifteen perhaps twenty lives during this time of perhaps…a corellian…"

"Corellian?" Ronan asked.

"It is what the people on Earth would call Months," Teyla translated nodding.

"What does "she" do?" John asked, not liking what he was hearing.

"She touches her victim," Catapet replied looking seriously at the newcomers.

"That's it?" Rodney asked looking around and suddenly wondering what the trouble was all about.

"You sound surprised…the death begins slow, first exhaustion…weakness in the body…for the first twenty-four hours the person has then the ability to infect anyone else he or she touches. After that they are safe around other people, but they begin to die rapidly, body weight is lost…they become deathly ill."

"How many is this?" John jumped in as he looked at the doctor.

"Twelve," Catapet answered quickly.

"How many have actually died?" Teyla inquired looking at John with an expression of fear and worry written all over it, "And how many have survived?"

"None have survived, not in the fifty cycles she has haunted us…this time we've lost eight of those who have come in."

"We'd like to help…but we need more information Catapet, do you ever remove blood…from the patients?"

"Of course…only for necessary testing," answered the doctor.

"We need you to take a couple of samples, I'd like to take them back to our head doctor on Atlantis, he might be able to find a way to save these people…Teyla you stay here and find out how these people are afflicted, I want to know everything that happens, Matree, could you tell Rodney everything you know about this…person?"

"Very well, but what shall you do?"

"Ronan and I are going to take the blood back to our infirmary on Atlantis, and try to find out more information, maybe help your people if we can find a way to."

o0o

John and Ronan greeted Elizabeth and Carson with a grim expression as they moved into her office, "How's Lauryn," Ronan asked before John could.

"She's sleeping, under a mild sedative, Laura is with her," Carson replied taking a seat on the couch by the wall.

"Do you know what's wrong with her?"

"No, she's perfectly healthy….she's just frightened…Now what's this about a plague?"

"Yeah, this is the blood from the four remaining living victims of the plague, as well as the newly infected person. Catapet, their head Doctor, says no one has ever survived her wrath in the past fifty years."

"Are you sure we should be getting involved in this?" Elizabeth questioned.

"No, not really, but…Elizabeth we can't just offer them the help then suddenly turn our backs and run when we become scared. The way the plague was explained to us, although brief, this female…whoever it is, never leaves the forest except for a month every ten years…"

The young Canadian Technician cut his words off as he came into Dr. Weir's office, "Ma'am, Teyla and Rodney just dialed in…with further information."

Elizabeth nodded, "Thank you Lieutenant," she quickly tapped her ear piece, "Talk to me Teyla."

"Can you hear us?" Rodney asked quickly.

"Yeah we hear you Rod," John quickly replied.

"Okay…so apparently the Matlerian Society is a perfectly and pleasant planet, they have little to no crime, they have strong moral codes and like all societies they have their myths. This one however is deadly true. Fifty-two years ago in the month that we call August, a woman died of what everyone assumed to be a virulent strain of the flu…they however thought it was a plague, few others died from it, in fact she was one of only three people. She was absolutely delirious one night when she ran into the forest. The guards of the city headed into the forest the next morning after her…her body was never found. They believe she died and is haunting the city, punishing them for not helping her when she died. Anyway, they believe that by one single touch she can infect anyone with the plague she died from…"

"What kind of symptoms are we talking?" Carson spoke up.

"Fever, chills, muscle cramps, swollen glands, I asked the doctors if they saw anything like this before…since I myself have suffered from such an affliction. They say it is normal for people to suffer from something called Diflence, or the flu is what Rodney called it. However, the doctor also said the difference isn't in the symptoms but in the blood…"

o0o

Before Teyla could get out another word there was a loud scream from the edge of town, her head shot up, Rodney also looked up, and instantly ran to help, "What happened?" he asked as he moved over to a young child lying on the ground.

"Don't touch her!" cried another man with long flowing silver hair and old wise eyes.

"What happened?"

"She's been touched!" the man spoke.

Rodney looked up at him in confusion; with another quick look around he stood slowly, searching the area, standing just over the little girl's body, as everyone continued to back away. He began to turn slowly, searching for any sign of the woman they had spoken of.

Suddenly he felt ice like fingers wrap around his shoulder, a shudder ran through his body as his eyes grew wide, his stomach began to churn, his pulse sped up, and his breathing became rapid as he slowly turned to look the creature in the face. His mouth dropped open, but no words to escape as she floated in front of him, her fingers still holding his shoulder; he looked through her clear eyes and felt another shudder sweep through his body.

Teyla watched from afar in horror as Rodney stared face to face with the very creature they were trying to ride themselves of, she felt her own stomach churn as Rodney's face went white, seconds later she dropped to the ground and she disappeared.

"Teyla…what's happening?" Elizabeth jolted her from the thoughts.

"We…Dr. Weir…we have a problem. Dr. McKay has just been…touched…he's been infected."

o0o

"We…Dr. Weir…we have a problem. Dr. McKay has just been…touched…He's been infected."

John felt his heart plummet at those words, as though someone had just kicked him in the gut, a gust of air left his mouth, his mouth was open.

Elizabeth didn't look very different, her mouth, open like a fish out of water. She found herself unable to find the words of anything to say. She couldn't ask if there was some mistake…nothing…she felt empty.

Carson felt his heart speeding up, when suddenly his ear piece clicked twice and Laura's voice rang through his head, "Carson…Lauryn's awake and screaming louder than ever. Carson…are you there?" Laura asked again after a few moments of silence.

"Teyla…" Elizabeth was finally able to break the silence as she tried to quickly regain her senses, "I'm sorry….did you just say Rodney has been infected?" she repeated softly.

"Yes…he and a very young looking girl…what do you wish me to do?" Elizabeth could tell even Teyla was at a loss for words, the quiver in her voice apparent instead of the usual strong and sure voice.

"No!" bit John suddenly, startling all three occupants of the room, perhaps even himself, "No!" he screamed again, he stood up quickly, nearly sending his chair on its back and stormed to the gate room, "Cut the power!" John growled.

"But sir…" the Tech replied as he looked over at Elizabeth.

"Cut it Lieutenant," Elizabeth whispered, eyeing John, she was fairly sure where this was going, "John, you heard him, you can't touch him even if he is infected, not for twenty-four hours…"

"No!" John shook his head and looked at Carson, "He's not dying on some unfamiliar planet, I won't leave him there…they don't have Carson, Lieutenant redial the gate now!"

This time the young technician didn't hesitate, he quickly dialed the address, "Carson…got get a hazmat suit…"

"Aye," nodding, Carson ran faster than he ever had before, making his way back to his infirmary.

"John he could infect everyone here…"

"I don't care!" John suddenly snapped back at her, "When Carson gets back here, have him bring the Hazmat through the wormhole, we'll be waiting on the other side," with that John glared at Ronan and they quickly descended the stairs, stepping through the horizon.

Elizabeth just looked at the gate, she could fee the tears welling in her eyes as she thought about what was going to happy, they'd said themselves, no one had ever survived this…however more times than not, someone said that about Rodney, or John or any of them, and somehow they'd all bounced back.

o0o

When Carson arrived in a hazmat suit, holding a second on he was stunned to see John sitting inches away from his brother, who was now conscious and sitting up. They seemed to be having a fairly calm conversation; Rodney didn't look like he was dying.

"Does he know he's been infected?" Carson asked as he spotted Teyla standing by the DHD.

"Yes…he knew as soon as he woke up, he immediately tried to get away from John…his brother would not allow it, John promised not to touch him if Rodney just sat down and tried to relax. They have been like that ever since…"

"Thank ye lass…any idea what they are talkin' about?"

"No…Rodney would not let anyone else near him but John…"

John looked at his brother and smiled sadly, he wanted nothing more than to grab Rodney in a hug and never let go, he knew that was certainly what his brother could use. "You'll tell Jeannie right?" whispered Rodney, snapping John from his thoughts.

"Rod, you're not going to die, you've got Carson on your side, has he ever let you down before?"

"No…but Jon…I…" he shook his head.

"Listen to me buddy, we're going to figure this one out too, okay, I had Carson bring some Hazmat suits, and we're bringing you back to Atlantis, okay?"

"No! What happens if I infect everyone?"

"That's not gonna happen Rodney, I promise, okay, we're going to get you into the protective gear, just like Carson is, then we're going to walk you back to Atlantis into one of the isolation rooms for the next twenty hours, I'll stay there with you."

"But what if…"

"Rodney, there are no what ifs, okay? If I don't touch you then nothing is going to happen to me, now let's get you into the gear okay?"

"I don't want to die John," whispered Rodney.

John cast his eyes down, trying to rid the tears that were rapidly forming in his hazel eyes, that touch had been a promise of death…the only way they would figure this out was if Carson found something, and even if he did they only had a limited amount of time before they could help Rodney…before he was too far gone. "I don't want you to die either, so let's get you home, okay?"

"Hello Rodney," Carson whispered as he came over, with the hazmat head piece, he looked at each of the brothers, "We're going to get you into the Hazmat suit, I think you'll be safe without the head gear, but I brought it just incase Atlantis decides you need it, how do ye feel lad?"

"Fine…I feel fine…how's Lauryn?"

"She's not so hot lad, why don't we get you suited up, come on," Carson said handing the suit to his best friend. Carson's eyes met John's in a moment of understanding, this wasn't about them, it wasn't even about Lauryn, it was about saving their best friend from dying a horribly slow death. At that moment, Carson knew he'd go to any length to save Rodney, if it meant spending hours in the labs testing every possible blood sample for an antidote, he'd do it, as long as it meant they're wayward scientists would live to tell the tale.

o0o

Elizabeth sighed as she watched through the window, she hadn't gone in yet, John had been in there the entire time. Elizabeth had been busy with Lauryn and trying to calm her down. They had brought Rodney back just under twenty-four hours ago, and already Carson had locked himself in the labs desperately trying to find a way to save his best friend.

"It's been twenty-five hours love, it's safe to go in," Carson's voice behind her caused her to jump.

She turned and smiled softly at him, "How's he doing?"

"He's running a fever of 101.8, his glands are swollen, and he's rapidly losing weight that I can't even begin to control. Meanwhile I've spent every waking moment of this day trying to find some way to save him…truth is Elizabeth…we may have finally hit our barrier."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean they always ask how long we can go on like this; being lucky…I think we've hit the end of our rope…"

"Why can't you find anything for this, but for regular flu we always could?"

"We can't always find the cure Elizabeth we can find inoculations, and truthfully I've found a way to inoculate everyone on the planet as well as John, Teyla and Ronan if they wish to continue working with this planet…however I can't find anything that will help stop this from happening."

"You have to keep trying Carson," Elizabeth whispered as she reached out and squeezed his shoulder, "You're sure he's can't infect us anymore?"

"Positive, it's been well over twenty-four hours since he was infected, he should be fine."

"Good," with another squeeze to Carson's shoulder, Elizabeth slipped into the room and moved over to the hospital bed, where she dropped a kiss to Rodney's forehead. "Hang in there Rodney, Carson's working on something."

"I love you," he whispered looking at her.

"Hey, you're not dead yet Rodney, okay…you've got a lot of time ahead of you," she whispered gripping his hand.

John looked at the two and smiled sadly, he gently put Rodney's other free hand back on the bed before slipping out of the room, to give these two a moment to themselves, "He knows he's dying," John whispered as he closed the door.

"He's strong John, ye just have to believe in him."

o0o

The days began to meld together, the young girl that had been infected moments before Rodney had been fairing better than him, until she hit day five, when her health began to digress rapidly to the point of that Rodney was currently at. Carson sighed, he was currently hooked up to oxygen, heart and brain monitors, he had three or four IVs running in and out of him, he was dying, and he was well aware of it.

Anyone that called McKay a friend had been in to see him over the course of the past five days, many were surprised when they had first seen the state of the scientist, he had lost a good thirty or forty pounds, he was running a dangerously high fever that Carson was having trouble regulating, he was the picture of death.

John and Elizabeth had were Rodney's constants, if one wasn't in there then the other always was. Many nights Carson had come in to find Elizabeth cuddled up next to Rodney's labored breathing form, talking to the dying scientist, telling him all about her day, and about Lauryn sometimes just telling him about times they'd had the past two years, sometimes just talking to hear a voice and feel reassured. Carson had noticed however, that no matter how often she was there, when she was around, Rodney usually did better.

He had indeed found an inoculation shortly after getting the samples, however there was still no cure to be found, he'd sent the drug to all those on the planet, telling them explicitly to distribute it evenly and make sure everyone got it. Three people had already been touched by the woman and showed no sighs of the illness.

Two days ago three of the remaining six people with the disease had died, now the only ones left was the man who had been touched nearly six or seven days ago, the little girl and Rodney remained, the man would probably go in a matter of days maybe less than that. Carson didn't want to think about Rodney or the little girl, any longer and he knew he'd have to put Rodney on life support.

Sighing he rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hand, he couldn't remember the last time he'd slept…well that wasn't true, he could remember it, he just didn't think it was after coming to Atlantis. Even if he did find the cure at this point, there was a very good chance there would be so little left that he'd only be able to save one person…that was his biggest fear, finding the cure and only having enough to save either a tiny child or a middle aged man, what kind of choice was that.

"Bones…" came the soft voice from the doorway, Carson cast a bloodshot glance at the haggard form of John, "Rodney wants to talk to you buddy," John whispered, "I think he knows it's getting close."

"Aye, he'd be right…I'll be right there lad."

As promised Carson staggered into the isolation room a few moments later, looking as exhausted as the rest of the occupants of the room. He moved towards the head of the bed, gripping his best friend's hand and smiled softly, "Hullo Rodney," Carson whispered, trying to get past the lump that was quickly developing in his throat.

"Just you and me? Please?" whispered Rodney.

Carson glanced up around at Elizabeth, John, Teyla, Ronan and Laura. They all quickly nodded and filed out of the room. Carson quickly returned his sober blue eyes back to those of his best friend and gripped the man's hand tighter, leaning his hip against the bed, "What's wrong Rodney?"

"I'm dying," Rodney managed to choke through bursts of air. "How long?"

"I don't think you even have a day left lad, truthfully, sometime tonight…"

"Don't try and save me," he mumbled.

"Rodney please don't ask me to do that…"

"Carson…unle…sss you find something…don't please, don't…I hate living like….this…I can't…watch them…."

"Rodney, you're my best friend, you can't ask me to just let you die, I can't do that," replied Carson.

"That's…why…I'm asking," Rodney said piercing Carson with his firmest stare.

"Very well…if your heart fails…I'll let you go…but if I find an antidote…" Carson shook his head and let his chin drop to meet his chest, "I can't lose ye lad," whispered Carson, his voice catching, "Please just give me a little more time," Carson whispered as he looked up, his bloodshot, tear filled eyes looking into Rodney's identical ones.

"We've…been here before…I believe Bones," chuckled Rodney, coughing tiredly as the laugh made his chest ache.

"You hang in there Rodney, I'll save ye, I always have," Carson replied.

"Love ya…like a brother," whispered Rodney, his own eyes beginning to fill with tears.

"Damn it Rodney!" cried Carson, "Aye, that's why this hurts to have to let ye go if I can't save ye…."

"It won't…be your fault."

"That doesn't make it hurt any less lad, believe me. I should get back to work, just hang in there a little longer, hold on till the end for me lad."

"Kay…" whispered Rodney, his eyes growing heavy.

"Promise me Rodney; promise me you'll hold on."

"Promise," he managed before falling into a deep sleep. Carson sighed as he looked down at the face of the man who had somehow managed to bring out both all the frustration in the world and al the loyalty in the world. There was no man Carson had ever considered a brother like he did Rodney. Carson had a brother, and while he loved him, Carson knew he loved Rodney just as much as he adored his brother. It was like watching someone kick your brother and you in the gut.

"This sucks," whispered Carson; he quickly gave the hand one last squeeze before heading back to his lab, hoping that by some chance of God, he could find the antidote and soon.

o0o

Night descended upon Atlantis, the hallways were empty as everyone had either gone to sleep or was working hard. John stood outside the isolation room, watching the lone figure in the bed desperately trying to continue drawing air into his lungs, each gasp a little harsher than the last, cuddle directly against his back was Elizabeth, as she gently caressed his hair, holding him tightly, lying in front of him was Lauryn, tears running down the little baby's eyes, John had no doubt she knew exactly what was going on, she could sense it, she'd been sensing it before any of them had.

John shook his head, he couldn't pinpoint the exact moment when everyone had stopped seeing Rodney as a annoying, boisterous scientist and started seeing him as the hero he was; when people had stopped seeing him as someone who would eventually fail, and began seeing him as one of the team and as a friend. Tonight if Rodney McKay died, Atlantis would lose more than a Head scientist, she would lose a friend, a hero, a brother, a lover. She would lose a piece of her…she would lose the brains that was Atlantis. If Rodney died tonight, the mourning would be unlike anything they had ever seen.

"John…" came a voice behind him.

John turned to see Carson, his clothes the same as the past two days, his hair in every direction, but what really caught John's attention was the needle in hand and the look in the tired man's eyes. It was the look of hope. "Carson?"

"I think I may have it…" Carson whispered softly, almost afraid that if he mumbled the words the antidote he'd just concocted would disappear.

"What the hell are you waiting for!" John opened the door and shoved the doctor in, propelling him at Rodney. John quickly swept Lauryn up in his arms, she protested, immediately missing her daddy.

"Carson?" Elizabeth asked, opening her sleepy eyes.

"Ye don't have to move lass…I'm just going to administer this…" Carson paused as he quickly removed the cap to the needle, and slid it into Rodney's bicep, they didn't have time to waste. All eyes were on Carson and Rodney; Carson's eyes were on his monitors.

What had been an unsteady blip from the heart monitor slowly began to even out to a normal register of 80-100 beats per minute. The labored breathing began to ease slightly, Rodney's blue eyes slowly fluttered open. Elizabeth smiled weakly, tears running down her cheeks as she gently removed the mask from his nose and mouth, "Hey there," she murmured unsteadily.

"Hey…stranger," he replied weakly looking at her.

John clapped Carson on the back, grinning as Elizabeth pulled Rodney closer and pressed a kiss to his forehead, "Carson?" she asked again.

"I think he's going to be just fine…John, are you feeling up to a late night delivery?"

"You bet!" John grinned as he handed Lauryn back to Elizabeth.

Carson smiled, "You did it Rodney, you held on…now get some sleep, you too lass," Carson directed, he then led John out of the room.

Elizabeth smiled as she pressed her forehead against his, "I love you," she cried as she gently caressed his slowly coloring cheeks.

Between them lay Lauryn, for the first time truly content as she curled up against her father, holding tightly to his scrub top. Rodney smiled as he looked down at his daughter then back up at his best friend and girlfriend, "I love you too," he whispered. His lips suddenly captured her's, he was exhausted, in pain, but he'd live…he would survive this one just like all the others he'd survived.


	68. Blind Man's Bluff

Chapter Sixty-Eight: Blind Man's Bluff

The sun shone brightly high above, Laura Cadman sighed as she covered her eyes from the abnormally bright sun, "Lieutenant?" came the voice over her head piece.

"Cadman, go ahead sir," she replied as she tapped her ear piece, she glanced over at Carson and Rodney. This reminded her far too much of the last time she was off world with the good doctor. However this time they all were much more relaxed. Besides she liked Rodney at this point, he'd been babbling about the same thing to Carson for the past hour. Although she was fairly sure it had something to do with his most recent brush with death. It had been just over three weeks since Rodney had been cleared to report back to duty after nearly dying from a plague.

"We've found the dart that was shot down…I can't say for sure, but I'm fairly sure it's wraith…we've definitely got an advantage if they're starting to shoot one another down. Go ahead and report back to the gate, we'll meet you there shortly," Sheppard returned.

"Yes sir, Cadman out."

"Looks like we'll be home in time for our date," grinned Cadman as she glanced back at Carson.

Carson had a wide grin on his face as Rodney rolled his eyes at the thought, "how come I never get to go into the field with Elizabeth?"

"Because she runs the helm, don't worry Rodney, it'll make life easier if ye ever actually propose to her," grinned Carson.

"You're proposing?" Cadman said jumping suddenly.

It was something nearly everyone on Atlantis had both been waiting for and dreading. If Rodney asked Elizabeth to marry him, they would become the first official married couple on Atlantis, and everyone was dreading that change, in fear that they would decide to send those who were married home. However, if anyone could convince them otherwise it was Elizabeth and Rodney.

"I have the ring," he stated softly.

"Really? Do you have it with you, can I see it?" Laura asked grinning like a young girl.

Rodney groaned and reached into his vest pocket, handing her the tiny velvet black box. He'd taken to carrying it around with him, when Elizabeth began to spend more and more time in his room during the days. Laura gasped as she opened it, the diamond wasn't huge, but it was beautiful, three diamonds, all princess cuts. "Wow, this had to cost a pretty penny, but why three?" Laura asked closing the box and handing it back to her friend.

"The diamonds on either side are for me and Elizabeth, the one in the middle is Lauryn. If I marry Elizabeth it won't be just about the two of us, there's a third person in this picture and frankly she's the most important."

"So when are you asking her?" Laura inquired.

"I'm not…not yet anyway…I can't explain it, the time just doesn't seem right."

"Oh come on, you love her don't you?"

"Of course I do…but it's just not a good time, there's more important things on everyone's mind, besides I think part of her is still afraid people don't trust her after the whole…Phebus thing."

"Everyone trusts Liz…."

"I know they do, and everyone else knows, everyone but Elizabeth…I can't do it yet…I've had the ring since the last time I went home…I've just been hiding it for awhile."

"Wow, you must be a good hider," grinned Laura as she shook her head. "Wouldn't it be amazing if we could stay on Atlantis after we were all married? Our kids would be the first Atlantian born children in the city in ten thousand years…"

"Yeah it would be cool…honestly I think Teyla and John may beat us to it though," chuckled Rodney.

"I think you'd be surprised. John isn't exactly ready to just settle down," Carson finally spoke up.

"You want my honest opinion?" Rodney asked looking back at his two friends, "I don't think any of us are quiet ready to make that big change yet, it's going to be a huge deal when someone finally gets married…no one wants to take that step because we're all afraid of the same thing…that we'd have to leave Atlantis."

"I though you said you'd give it all up if t meant being happy?" Laura said in surprise.

"I would…but I don't want Elizabeth to have to give up something as important as this, and not to Caldwell, don't get me wrong, he's a great guy, but…Elizabeth earned this position."

"Aye, I agree," stated Carson.

"Do you guys ever wish you hadn't made contact with Earth again?" Laura asked.

"It's weird…we spent our first year here dying to go home, we all wanted to find a way back to Earth…now we talk to Earth and we all want to stay here. Atlantis is my home now…" Carson replied.

"Mine too," whispered Rodney with a smile as he looked at Carson, "I've made too many friends to go home now," he offered.

Laura opened her mouth to make a comment when suddenly a buzzing sound interrupted their thoughts, "dart," she hissed.

"Not again!" cried Carson.

"Scatter!" yelled Laura, she, however wasn't paying attention and felt her legs go out from under her.

"LARUA!" yelled Carson.

Rodney's arm's shot out, grabbing the Lieutenant by the jacket and pulling her to one side, together the two dove behind a boulder, while Carson went the other behind a nearby tree. "Sheppard, we've got a dart…"

"Are you okay?" Came Sheppard's quick reply.

"We're fine, aren't we Cadman…Cadman…" Rodney turned around stunned to see her lying pale faced on the ground, turned just to her side. "Oh that's not good," he whispered, "Carson get over here now!" Rodney called into his ear piece as he moved over to Laura's other side.

"What happened?"

"She must have fallen and hit something," Rodney offered as he gently rolled her to the side, stunned to see a rock embedded in the ground, drenched in her blood.

"Laura," Carson called as he gently tapped her cheeks, feeling for a pulse he looked up at Rodney, "we need to get her back to Atlantis."

o0o

The first thing she became aware of was her pounding headache. She groaned, as an irritating beeping sound began to penetrate her senses.

"Laura," came a soft familiar voice. "Shh, Laura you're okay, you're in the infirmary on Atlantis, can ye open yer eyes for me?" Carson's voice continued.

Laura sighed, and slowly opened her eyes, prepared for the harsh brightness that always met her when she awoke in the infirmary. She was surprised to find it was dark, "Carson…why are the lights off?" she asked weakly.

Carson looked around at Elizabeth and John, "Laura, the lights aren't off…in fact they're the usual brightness…"

"Carson…" Laura said suddenly, turning her head towards the sound of his voice.

"I'm right here lass," Carson replied waving his hand in front of her eyes.

"Oh my god…Carson what's wrong with me?" her voice was becoming frantic.

"Shh, lass, you took a nasty hit to the head…it's possible the blindness is only temporary."

Laura felt her face begin to turn red, her unseeing eyes welling with tears, 'What am I going to do?' 'How will I survive?' 'What if they won't let me stay here on Atlantis'… 'Laura…you have to breathe…you can get through this…you just have to focus…' Laura thought to herself as a million other things ran through her mind at once.

"Laura, is there anything we can do?" Elizabeth asked quietly.

"I…uh…could I just be alone for a little while? Please?" she spoke in a quiet voice she barely recognized.

"Of course, we'll be around if you need us Lieutenant," John offered squeezing her foot.

"Laura, I'm going to be in my office, if you need me, just holler okay?"

"Carson…" She paused unsure what to think, what to feel, she was so scared…she'd been trained to take everything in stride. Yet, no matter how many times they gave you a situation in boot camp, no one could imagine the feeling of waking up one minute suddenly completely blind.

"It's going to be okay lass, I promise ye," Carson offered as he gripped her hand.

o0o

Laura spent the next three days in and out of consciousness as she tried to get rest, Colonel Sheppard had visited several times, offering his support and anything she needed. Elizabeth had also swung by. But Carson, it was Carson who seemed to be by her side every time she awoke from a nightmare, or found herself suddenly overwhelmed by everything going on.

Finally on the third day, Carson released her…or at least he had told her she was released, "Laura, love?"

"I…I…" she shook her head, she stood by her bed, gripping the covers in her fists as tears began to run down her cheeks, she didn't know how to cope with this, what would she do, she was so lost. She didn't know Atlantis like he did, she couldn't handle not seeing everything around her all the time.

"Laura…I'm done for the night, why don' we go get some dinner, then I'll walk ye back to your room?" Carson offered as he gently touched her shoulder.

"Ah…okay…Carson…how do I deal with this? I was trained to fight…I was trained…"

"Laura, listen to me, you were trained to be a fighter yes, but yer human, and that means like all humans ye are allowed to be scared lass, there is nothing wrong with be frightened."

"No?" she asked half laughing, half crying.

She felt two strong hands on her arms, "No, Laura, yer strong, don't this be a set back for ye…not when nothing else in the world can stop ye. It's scary, I understand that, believe me I do…but ye got to embrace it for now…because lass, like it or not, yer going to be blind for a while, I promise ye, it's only temporary though, okay…the swelling is already down, once any scaring heals ye'll be fine. Now, how about dinner?"

Laura smiled softly as she felt his thumbs brush away the tears that had fallen to her cheeks. Slowly and hesitantly she nodded, she could feel him grip her hand, leading her out of the infirmary.

o0o

"Uncle Rodney?" called the voice through the lab. JJ Sheppard looked around the room and shrugged, not sure where his uncle was. His father had sent him on a mission, and like his father, JJ never took a mission lightly, and he always got it finished.

"JJ?" Radek Zelenka asked as he moved over to the young man.

"Hey Doc, listen dad's lookin' for Uncle Rod, where is he?"

"I do not know, I haven't seen him…in a few days."

"Really?" JJ asked, as he ran his thin fingers through his short brown hair, a habit he had gained since arriving on Atlantis and spending time around his father.

"Not…since he came back from the planet…"

"Uh oh…that's not good…any idea where he might be?"

"No, I'm afraid not…if Rodney does not wish to be found, he can't be."

"Thanks Dr. Z," with that the eight year old hurried out of the room, in search for his uncle or father.

"Has anyone seen Doctor McKay?" came the voice over his radio, the boy quickly tapped his ear piece.

"Hi Aunt Lizzy," he grinned in a reply.

"Johnny, why are you wearing an ear piece?" she asked suddenly.

"Cause Dad sent me looking for Uncle Rodney…have you seen him?"

"No…actually, where all have you looked?"

"His labs…the cafeteria…" JJ began to count off the places on his finger, only coming up with three of the usual places. "He's not in his usual spots.

"All right, Johnny, I'm relieving you of your expedition, if you could please return to your dad…and give him back his ear piece, I'd really appreciate it," she quickly returned in his ear.

JJ's face fell for a moment, "yes ma'am," he mumbled.

Elizabeth chuckled in her office softly at the thought of the little boy's look. At eight years old Johnny had earned every bit of his name sake, he was already fairly tall for a boy, and gangly, his hair sticking in every direction and the hazel eyes that could turn most women to putty in an instant. The boy loved trouble as much as he loved adventures, and usually the two seemed to come hand in hand.

She sighed and tapped her ear piece again, "Rodney…" she spoke, hoping she would get an answer this time, however she was left empty yet again. "Rodney, if you're there please answer me…I need to find you," she whispered, thankful she was on a channel with just him.

She was just about to tap her head piece again and contact Carson to ask him about Rodney, when he heard a soft sigh, "what?" came the reply.

"Rodney?"

"Yeah?" he asked again, a little annoyed this time.

"Rodney, where are you?" she asked as she quickly stood up and turned away from the rest of the gate room, afraid someone might see the relief in her eyes or the fear for him.

"Same place I've been for the past three days," he mumbled.

"Yes…well that's not exactly helpful Rodney, seeing as we've just spent the past three days looking for you," she replied.

"East pier balcony…" he mumbled.

"Rodney, sweetheart," she said suddenly, a term she usually only used after hours when it was just the two of them.

"I'm sorry Elizabeth," came his nearly incoherent reply as he tapped the ear piece and she was met with dead silence.

"Damn it Rodney!" Elizabeth bit as she quickly removed her ear piece. Sighing, she sat back down in her chair, quickly running over in her mind what Rodney had been thinking going out to the East pier, alone…for three days…suddenly she shoved her ear piece back in, "Beckett…"

"Aye Elizabeth, what's wrong?" Carson asked in a sudden dire tone, as though he could tell something was very wrong.

Had they all become such close friends that they could judge one another's moods or any danger on a simple tone in their voice. "We've got a little problem."

"Who?"

"A certain scientist has gone AWOL, I've found him…but there's a very good chance he's been sitting on the East Pier for the past three days…"

"Dear God…Get him to the infirmary."

"He probably won't come," Elizabeth reasoned, she and Carson knew Rodney far better than anyone, John was a close third. However, they all knew that he could be a stubborn as a mule on even the best days.

"Elizabeth, he could slip into hypoglycemic shock at any moment if he hasn't had anything to eat."

"All right, I'll do my best," she replied as she quickly made her way through Atlantis' halls. She grabbed one of the transporters and punched the closest transport to the East Pier, she wouldn't have much further to go once getting there, but she had to admit she was concerned about him. He rarely went to this Pier, in fact it was just a constant bad memory of what had happened over a year ago when Koyla had taken the city.

She quickly tapped her ear piece, effectively turning it off and headed down the long hallway leading to the pier. And there he sat, on the very same steps they had sat on a year ago, his arms wrapped around him self. She realized instantly it was cold, with the wind blowing this close to the ocean…he had to be cold. She sighed, sometimes he had the temperament of a two year old. Moving over she sat down and did the first thing that came to mind, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him close.

"Hey, what are you doing out here," she whispered as he leaned his head against her's, seeking her comfort.

"Freezing," he mumbled.

She realized he was shivering, whether it was from the cold or from the beginning onsets of hypoglycemia she wasn't sure, but she would find out. "Rodney, you're freezing…literally, let's get you inside," she offered as she gently took his arm, but he resisted.

"I can't…"

"Why?" Elizabeth asked gently, touching his arm, causing him to flinch…some days she forgot all about Koyla…some days, but not nearly enough.

"I can't face her…"

"Who?" She felt like she was playing tennis, going back and forth with two or three word answers, but she bit her lip, hesitating to lay into him further.

"She's blind Elizabeth…I'm the one who pushed her down…"

"Rodney, that's not your fault, and Laura doesn't blame you. Rodney, it was an accident…" she replied gently as she pulled his face towards her.

"Should have been me," he mumbled.

"No Rodney, no, it shouldn't have been…it was just an accident. There's no reason to sit here and punish yourself, or freeze to death because you feel guilty, come on," she tugged him again, but there was less resistance.

She was stunned out how wobbly his legs were as he slowly stood, she wrapped on hand around his back, pulling him close, her hand beginning to rub his back, trying to give him some heat. "Rodney, have you eaten anything?" she asked as they walked to the transporter slowly.

"Yeah…fruit bars," he mumbled.

"Sweetheart, that's not a meal, you need a warm shower and food," she whispered as she felt another shiver flee through his body.

"No…no…please, 'Liza I'm not ready to face them yet…can't we just go to the room…somethin'…" he slurred slightly from the chill that was setting further into him.

"All right, we can go to your room, lets go," she quickly pushed the transport button and waited. Moments later they were in the hallway just outside his room. He walked slowly as though every step hurt on his abused muscles.

She waved her hand in front of the controls and waited for the door to slide open. Deciding the best course of action would be to get him warm quickly she removed his jackets and gently sat him down on the bed, proceeding to take off his shoes and socks.

"This would be flattering…at any other point," he mumbled half out of it.

"Yeah…well it would be for me too Romeo, come on, " she quickly drew back the covers and slide him between the sheet, two blankets and the comforter. She'd never been able to figure out why he slept with so many blankets, but humoring him she gently covered him back up with the blankets, amazed as his head hit the pillow and his eyes drifted shut. "Why doesn't that happen when he actually needs sleep," she cursed silently as she slipped into Lauryn's room to check on their daughter.

"Elizabeth?" Carson's voice crackled over the radio, she smiled shortly.

"I've got the beast down for the count, in bed fast asleep already, he said he ate some cereal bars while he was out there…I'm going to make some hot soup or something for him…try to keep him warm. I'm also taking him off duty for the next twenty-four hours."

"Why was he out there?"

"Apparently he blames himself for Laura's blindness," she replied.

"That isn't his fault…however Laura is currently sleeping as well, I'm camped out with my laptop on her couch…making sure she actually gets sleep…so looks like we're on nurse duty," she could hear Carson's smile as he spoke.

"I guess we are, well you'll know where I am," she removed her ear piece as she stepped back into the main room and laid it on one of the tables, she was heading into the small kitchen when she heard Rodney mumble something. She moved back to the bed and saw two hazy but coherent eyes looking up at her, "you okay?" she asked as she sat down at his side.

"Come here," he whispered softly, reaching out his arm, "They told us in the short military training I had…that the quickest way to warm up was body heat," he grinned.

"Rodney…behave," she replied standing up again, only to find herself being pulled back down by his hand.

"Please…I promise nothing funny…" he said gently, giving her the look she had patented as a Sheppard family trait that was gained by spending time with the Sheppards.

Shaking her head she quickly slipped her own jacket off as well as her shoes and slipped under the covers. She scooted close to him, until she was face to face, inches away from his nose, their legs entwined almost instantly as he wrapped his arms around her waist, she smiled softly and pressed a kiss to his forehead, gently stroking his cheek, "sleep…" she whispered as she continued to lull him to sleep with her gentle touch to his cheek, and her even breathing.

She smiled as he finally slipped into a fitful rest, there was something about this man, she knew this was the man she would spend forever with…she just had to wait until he was ready to admit it to himself. This was her best friend, her lover, and her future husband. "I love you," she whispered again as she closed her own eyes and drifted off to sleep, entangled in his arms and legs.

o0o

Laura smiled softly as she stood on the balcony of Atlantis, taking in everything around her. She'd woken up to the soft snoring of Carson Beckett asleep on the couch across from the bed. She knew where he was, she could sense him. She'd felt around until her hands connected with the blanket at the end of her own bed, then carefully moved across her room and draped it over the sleeping form of the man she'd come to care for so deeply.

Deciding she didn't want to go back to sleep, since that's what she'd been doing for the past several days as it was, she carefully made her way to what she was fairly sure was her balcony, as the door slid open she felt a smile spread across her face, when the window blew her hair around, yep, she'd hit the balcony dead on.

The first thing she noticed wasn't the obvious vastness of the ocean, which she normally noticed but it was the sound of the waves crashing against the side of the city, like hitting a beach side then sinking back down to join the rest of the waves, she could hear soft music drifting from a few floors down, which she was fairly sure was John's room. She could hear the wind blowing by her and Atlantis, getting caught between a couple of the higher towers and whistling to make it through the gaps. She could smell the ocean, as clear as she could back on earth. It was oddly reassuring, settling her nerves, she hadn't spoken to Elizabeth or John in depth just yet, but they'd both mentioned that she would remain here on Atlantis for as long as she'd like.

Another sound caused her ears to perk up, and she smiled again, his ever quiet and gentle feet alerting her to his presence. She'd always known he was gentle, but he seemed extra quiet as she truly listened to him. Each step was strong and sure, full of assurance, and yet she could almost detect the love in each step as well.

"Am I interrupting anythin'?" he asked softly. His voice held a little worry, she could just detect it in his tone. She loved the way he worried about everyone, loved the way he worried about her unlike any other ever had.

She paused taking a deep breath before answering him, "My brother was blind…just born blind…I remember being eight or nine years old when I walked into his room one day, and with the most serious face I could must, I asked him what it was like, not to be able to see the world around him," she smiled as her boyfriend remained quiet, allowing her to tell the story, "he looked at me with those beautiful green eyes, and just chuckled, 'I see the world as well as you do Little Lori, I just see it differently', he told me in this calm and loving voice. He pulled me into his lap and continued 'I see the leaves as I hear them rustle in the breeze…I feel the ocean cool my feet while I stand in the soft sand on a sunny beach…I can sense it's great depth as I hear it crash against the shore…I see love when mom hugs and kisses you and me goodnight…" she stopped and smiled at the memories.

"He's very wise," Carson whispered as he approached Laura's side.

She nodded, "He's just Jacob, that's just who he was…mom called him a wise old soul when we were kids. He never got angry or scared about it, he just took everything in stride and saw the world as it was, he never let anyone get him down…You know what he'd say to me right now? He'd take me by the shoulders and get this all too serious look upon his face, 'Little Lori,' he 'd begin, 'your so strong, this is just another challenge God has sent you to face, and I know you'll do your namesake proud, and face it like you have everything else, with strength, endurance, and confidence. In the end you'll conquer yet another challenge'," she smiled, softly, biting her lip for a moment.

"He's be right, Laura, yer too good to let this take you down," he felt her move closer, "come here," he whispered as he gently pulled her into a strong hug, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, "I'm here to help ye get through this, it's only temporary honey," he offered, lying his cheek against her forehead.

"I know Carson…don't let them send me home because of this," she whispered softly suddenly, unable to believe she'd truly just voiced that concern to him.

"Never lass, ye can't leave me…I won't let ye, and they can't afford to lose me, so ye have to stay," he replied gently.

Laura chuckled, she moved her head and pressed her ear against his chest, as she encircled her arms around his waist, his own arms around hers, she could hear his lungs drawing in each even breath, his heart pumping blood through his veins, and suddenly she hugged him closer, not wanting to be away from him.

She felt his arms pull her a little closer as well, this wasn't like any feeling she could ever remember before. She didn't understand it, but she definitely liked it. She could hear his breath hitching, his heart pounding harder, tilting her head back and up, she knew she had to be looking into his eyes. She felt her own heart begin to pound in sync with hers, s his face grew closer and suddenly his lips captured hers.

She grinned as she finally pulled away, "thank you," she whispered as she leaned her head against his shoulder, the two sharing the hug as he gently rocked her, she could hear him humming ever so slightly as he just held her, trying to help her find comfort in what was happening.

o0o

A week that went all to slowly for Laura flew by for the rest of Atlantis, however she was still cooped up in her room, waiting for her sight to return or some one to send her back home to earth. She wasn't really sure why she was suddenly so afraid to go back home, maybe it was because she'd found a home here on Atlantis, with friends…or maybe part of it had to do with her favorite resident doctor who had just vacated her room with a kiss to the cheek as he rushed out throwing his lab coat on. Either way, she adored it here on Atlantis, and was in no hurry to leave any time soon.

She was surprised when her radio crackled to life with voices, "has anyone seen McKay, he's gone AWOL again," came John's voice.

"I saw him this morning…be nice John, he's having a tough time," came Elizabeth's response.

"I saw him on the balcony earlier…the one just below the mess hall…I believe he was trying to be alone," Radek returned over his radio.

Cadman was surprised, not at Rodney trying to be alone, the scientist didn't like working with other people very often, but she wondered what he was having such a hard time with. Carson had mentioned a few days ago about him going MIA a few days earlier and being gone for three days.

Deciding to check it out she carefully made her way out of her room, based on what Radek said, she knew he was somewhere on this floor on the balcony right below the mess…which meant he was on the north side of this floor, "Okay…that's easy enough," she whispered to herself. She couldn't hear anyone else around, she half thanked whoever was listening to that, and cursed it.

She could hear the sound of the ocean getting closer, so she knew when she was approaching the balcony. She quickly swiped her hand over the controls, pleased to hear it swish open. She paused, waiting for a response from him. She could hear his heavy breathing, he knew he'd been found, "So, what's your problem?" she asked in her usual cocky tone, half a grin on her face as she stepped catiously closer to him, most of the balconies were the average size of a balcony in an apartment, some where a little larger, about five feet out, this was one of the longer ones, she knew she had to be at least three feet through it when he finally spoke.

"You shouldn't be here," he mumbled.

"Why?" She asked matter-of-factly, "because I'm blind?" She finished as her hand connected with the railing she grinned, 'Score one for the blind and blonde chick!' she thought.

"You just shouldn't!' he hissed in his angry tone, the one that held up a large sign telling everyone in a fifty foot radius that discussion was off limits.

Laura grinned, "really glad I'm blind, I can ignore the sign that obviously comes with that tone," she sneered in return. She only wished she could see his face.

"What do you want?"

"I already stated that, I wanna know what you're problem is and why the hell you keep disappearing on everyone?"

"Why do you care?" He growled.

She could tell he wasn't angry at anyone but himself, he was just venting. She shrugged off the rude tone and smiled, "because you're my friend, and a lot of people who are also your friends are worried about you, I just happened to be the first to get here. So I ask you once again, what's your issue?"

"I don't have an issue, would you please leave?"

"Am I your issue here?" She asked pointing to herself, "you know being in your mind for a few days sure gave me some insight into a lot of things McKay, and one of the biggies is that you blame yourself for every little stupid thing that happens around you. Jesus McKay, this isn't all about you. The world doesn't revolve around you!" she growled, unsure where her own anger was coming from.

"You don't think I KNOW THAT!" he yelled back waving his arms.

"You certainly aren't showing it! Get a grip McKay, not everything is your fault in the world!"

"I ruined your career, I've gotten more people kil…"

"Whoa! Wait a minute, you're out here giving yourself a pity party without inviting me! Because you think you ruined my career! You really are an idiot!" she howled, raising her voice an octave higher. "News flash McKay, you're not the one who saw the rock she was going to fall on and couldn't get out of the way in time! Did you think about that? It's no more your fault than it is mine! Rodney, it was a damn freak accident, it'll probably never happen again! And in a few weeks it'll probably pass! Move on McKay!"

"How! How do you propose I move on?"

"Take a deep breath and dive back into life! This isn't your fault Rodney, you shouldn't take blame for it! You didn't bash me over the head with a rock until I was blind, although I'm sure there have been times when you wanted to," she replied grinning.

"Like now?" he mumbled.

"Rodney, seriously, get off your sorry self pitying ass and get some actual work done."

"Why don't you," came a sudden reply she hadn't nearly been expecting.

"Excuse me?"

"You've sat in your room for a week, this is the first time you really left! You're blind, not stupid, and not incapacitated! Believe it or not you know your way around Atlantis better than you think! You're still of value to us here!"

Laura paused, realizing what he was saying was true, she'd been having her own lonely pity party for the past week. She quickly squared her shoulders, "fine…what say we go up to the cafeteria and have our selves some dinner, officially end this pity party?"

She waited for his response, he could hear the soft chuckle, "you're a real piece of work Cadman…"

"I know, you're just jealous," she said reaching out for his arm, surprised when she actually found it was there.

o0o

She tried not to blink as he shone the light into both her eyes, getting the reaction he was obviously looking for as he stepped away, "it's looking good lass, what all are you seeing?"

"Grays…shadows mostly…"

"Good, I'd say give it anywhere from a couple days to another week and you'll be right as rain," he said smiling as he squeezed her hand.

"Carson…" she spoke suddenly, unsure of what she was about to do, "thank you…for everything."

"Anything for ye lass, anythin'," he replied as he dropped a kiss to her forehead. "Yer free to go."

"Dinner and a movie or something tonight?"

"Aye, dinner and a movie, I'll meet you in the mess by seven," he replied.

"Love ya big guy," she called back suddenly realizing what she'd said.

"Love you too Little Lori," came his reply as he turned pink, her eyes turned back to him.

"Really?" she asked.

"No, truthfully I absolutely can't stand you…just thought I'd lead ye on," he grinned as she moved back over to his side. He pulled her into his arms, pressing a kiss to her lips, then another to her cheek.

"Whoa…keep it outta the hospital!" cried Rodney as he walked in.

"Hullo Rodney," Carson mumbled as he hugged her close again.

"Hi Rod," Laura chuckled.

"Hello…just came to see how she was?" he asked eyeing the Lieutenant.

"She is doing just fine, glad to know you care…now let me see your hands," Carson stated, noticing that Rodney was hiding them both behind his back.

"Damn it," mumbled Rodney as he held out his left hand which was covered in blood.

"I'll see you later Rodney, by Carson," she called as she made her way out of the infirmary.

"Aye, bye lass…come on Rodney," Carson muttered, his eyes still on his retreating girlfriend.


	69. A Man's Past

Author's Note: On July 7th, 2006 Saving Grace will finally come to an end, a story that I've loved writing for a year. So it only seems rightthat this amazing story should be allowed to have a sequal which was how said sequal was born. The writing has commenced and I hope to have the first chapter up by mid August before I head back to college. It'll be a crossover...of sorts and will introduce two new characters. Keep your eyes and ears open for this new series! More soon (perhaps even a sneak peek in the last few chapters :) )

Chapter Sixty-Nine: A Man's Past

_"I'm sorry Carson…" Doctor Wallace said._

_"Please! Ye havta understand!" cried Carson as he gripped the sides of the bed again, another stab of pain ripping his body apart as he fought against the bindings._

_"I'm sorry son, but y're lucky I didn't report this…you could lose your license for this…"_

_"I don't care," he sobbed as he tried to curl up into a ball against the waves of pain. He cried out again, as he felt his mentor's hand upon his shoulder._

_"Yes you do Carson! You can get through this…you're strong lad!"_

"NO!" Carson sat straight up in his bed, gasping for air. His blue eyes wildly looking around for something or someone. The room was empty, just him sitting in his sweaty bed. He brought up his bare knees to his chest, resting his elbows against them as he leaned his head into his hands, running his hand through his sweat soaked hair.

He shook his head, and quickly stepped out of the bed, and headed into the bathroom. He splashed some cool water on his face, and then peeked into the mirror over the sink, looking at the body that was staring back at him. Muscles had replaced some of his flab, he looked strong…much strong than the man he had dreamt about.

Reaching out he touched the image in the mirror, had it really been nearly twelve years ago since the works seven days of his life, the only seven days of his life he had wanted to be more unconscious than any moment in life.

Dressed in only in shorts he opened the door to his balcony and allowed the chilly Atlantis night air to cool his sweat covered body. Clearing his senses slightly, as he leaned against the railing and thought about that night twelve years ago.

He sighed, he was fairly sure that Rodney's run in with the Wraith enzyme a few months back had triggered these nightmares he'd been having for the past four months. He shook his head one last time before turning and heading back into his room. He glared at his clock for a moment, deciding he wasn't going to get any more sleep, it was already three in the morning, his shift started in two hours, might as well get a head start on it.

He headed into the shower, allowing the warm water to run down his bare back, as he pressed his head against the wall of the stall. Shoving all other thoughts from his mind, Carson tried to focus on the day at hand.

Twenty minutes later he was showered, shaved and dressed; he made his way tiredly to the mess hall for come coffee before heading off to the infirmary where another day would begin for him, another day like all the previous ones, that reminded him harshly of his past.

He was fairly sure Elizabeth had been the only person to know of what had happened in the past; however she had never said anything to him about it. Instead she gave all of her faith and trust to him. In fact that's what everyone had been doing for these past twelve years, giving him the benefit of the doubt.

Carson pulled his lab coat on as he stepped into his larger office and smiled slightly, he'd always been careful, every injury he gave them the least amount of pain medication needed and decreased it daily until he had them on something non-harmful. If only someone had cared enough about him to watch that so closely. He didn't really blame anyone but himself for his problems, but still…it was a darker past than anyone expected from their warm and friendly Scotsman.

o0o

The day began with a bang when a large explosion rocked the labs of Atlantis, by noon there were fifteen injured scientists in the infirmary, ranging from superficial scrapes, burns and bruises to severe burns, concussions, broken bones, inhalation of gases…luckily this wasn't one of the times they landed of a death.

"I need an IV! Someone get me some O neg blood!" called Carson as he looked back over his shoulder to see his people struggling to keep up with him.

His team was the best, but this wasn't going to be an easy situation to manage, not by a long shot.

"Carson…" Rodney began as he tried to move over to the Physician; however one of the nurses quickly grabbed his arm, eliciting a hiss of pain from his injured shoulder.

"Rodney, I do'ne have time, if ye want me to save Smithson, then ye need to leave me be!" Carson returned, he turned his head, casting a single glance at his best friend, he knew Rodney would understand on some level.

Rodney and Radek were the first to report to the scene, unfortunately not in time to avoid injuries, however as many, there's were superficial. For the next two hours, Rodney remained underfoot of Carson checking one every single one of his people.

It was at that moment, that most of Atlantis realized how deeply Rodney did care for his people, he remained by several scientist's sides as they were stitched up or fixed up, he had Radek or other members of his team walk them back to their rooms with the direction to call if they felt any worse. He even sat with a couple of the patients.

However it was with Smithson that Carson knew would cause the problem…A twenty four year old brand spankin' new transfer right out of some highly acclaimed academy in New England, Rodney joked the week the kid arrived that he was barely out of diapers compared to a few of the almost forty year olds. However, in private, Rodney was impressed every moment by Smithson.

To say Smithson was smart was putting it lightly, the way Rodney had originally spoke about the younger man, Carson had thought the boy was the next Albert Einstein. He was the Rodney McKay of his graduating class. Carson had no doubt that Smithson would have gone places…if he'd been given the chance.

Rodney had put him on a rather complex task a week ago, giving Smithson a short lecture on how to handle the scientists that Rodney had put beneath him, and from there he'd let the boy be…which for Rodney was immensely unusual.

Smithson had been the closest to the explosion he'd been severely burned on his face, neck and torso, and his knee cap had been completely shattered; from whatever they were working on when it fell on top of him. It was an injury that once stabilized further, would get him discharged back to Earth. Carson had instantly called out the words before even realizing it, "Morphine!" he called for the drug, the strongest pain killer there was and as he injected the first round, he dreaded what would follow. How much would it take to kill his next heavy bout of pain, and what about all of it after that…how many hours before he was addicted to the pain killer, before his body was shaken by seizures and fever?

No one had questioned his order, in fact most probably thought it was out of mercy, but Carson knew the truth. It would be far more merciful to kill the patient then start him on a drug that would bring him to his knees later.

o0o

They had kept Smithson considerably sedated for the next several days, but by the fourth or fifth day he was wide awake and begging for pain killers. Rodney spent a good deal of time with his youngest scientist, and he would constantly reassure Smithson that he was doing great.

Carson knew otherwise, Smithson was anything but bad, while he was sure the young man's pain was true he was also sure the pain wasn't just from the injuries he had sustained. Carson knew that he'd have to break it to Smithson that evening that he'd have to be sent back to the states and go through several more surgeries on his knee to ever be able to walk again.

"Doctor Beckett, can…can you give me something for the pain?" the twenty-four year old scientist begged.

Carson felt like he was staring himself in the face all over again, he remembered the same words coming from his own mouth twelve years ago, barely older than Smithson, "I'm sorry lad, the pain will ease, I promise ye," Carson lied, but the pain wouldn't go away not for a very long time…and years later Smithson would still suffer from the withdrawal he was already starting to suffer from.

"You're sending me home aren't you?" the young man whispered.

"Aye lad, I have to…we can't care for your injuries here like they can back in the states…maybe one day ye can come…"

"Oh who are you tryin' to kid doc? Cried the younger man. "They're going to stick me in some damn lab back home where I'll make half the money and talk to no one!"

"Son…"

"No, just don't…"

Carson nodded, gently patting the boy on his shoulder; he turned and left the infirmary.

o0o

"Carson…is this about your past?" Elizabeth asked as she looked seriously at her head doctor.

"There's more to it than just that, but aye. I didn't make a rational choice Elizabeth...I saw his pain and remembered mine…and I took that instant to get rid of his pain."

"Well…obviously you know the answer is no…I'm not letting you leave…Carson…tell me the truth. Tell me what happened twelve years ago."

"Y're serious?" Carson asked looking at her as though her head had fallen off and hit the floor rolling.

"Yes, I'm serious, you're safe here Carson, I'm not going to judge you. However, I think it's important for you to tell someone what really happened. I'm here, I want to listen, and I feel it's important to keeping you on Atlantis."

"I can't…"

"Carson…I'm not asking," she stated softly looking him straight in the eyes.

"Aye…I didn't imagine ye were…It was twelve years ago…I was twenty-five…"

_"Mum, I'm home!" called Carson Beckett as he moved into the small house that he had spent most of his life time growing up in. He didn't doubt that wee sister was still off at school, Maggie Beckett descended the stairs with a soft smile on her face, in her arms she held her youngest charge, Andrew Beckett, adopted two months ago just before his first birthday by the Beckett family._

_"Hullo little man," Carson grinned as he pressed a kiss to his wee brother's forehead. _

_Many people wondered if it was weird for Carson to have a baby brother only a year old at twenty-five, but for Carson it was perfectly normal. His wee sister had been adopted when he was fifteen…Maggie was the type of woman who loved everyone and wanted everyone to have a good home and a happy life. She'd always wanted three children, when she had her little Carson she'd been elated, five years later she'd had a second son, named Peter, who had died shortly before his fourth birthday. It had broken Maggie's heart, so she decided to make other children's lives happy by adopting. _

_"How was class lamb?" Maggie asked as she passed off the gurgling infant to Carson before she headed into the kitchen._

_"Class went well…mum, are ye comin' to my came tonight?" Carson asked, feeling like he was back in high school. He stepped into the kitchen, watching his mother begin dinner._

_"Of course lad, I would'ne miss it for the world," she replied as she pressed a kiss to his cheek._

"My mother was a sweet thing…ye see back then I played football…well what the American's call Soccer, but still…anyway…I played for my college team, it was my last year playing, there was discussion on us going to the Olympics and eveythin'…we'd beat every team from one side of Scotland to the next…we even started trainin' incase they did take us to the Olympics…"

"What happened?"

"Scotland isn't a terribly raining place, sometimes it rains sometimes it doesn't…we tend to have seasons where y'er more likely to get rain…but we weren't in a season of rain. Anyway it rained for the next few hours before the game…but we did'ne call it…we wanted to play, so we did. It was a mess, we'd only played a few games in the rain…we'd always won, but still it wasn't easy. The field was muddy, the grass was slick with rain and mud, our cleats were caked with it…"

"What happened?" Elizabeth asked her attention stuck on her best physician.

"We got through the first half of the game without a problem…we went into the second half with more energy than I can ever remember. We already had a huge lead…I was goalie…and had been for every game the past four seasons…It was the last goal of the game…naturally since nothing big ever happens in between," Carson chuckled softly. One of the players, a friend of mine actually that I would be attending medical school with in the fall came barreling down the field towards me; so naturally I prepared to stop the ball, it wasn't a winning point, they couldn't have beaten us…but still…I didn't want this one to get by me…so I did'ne…He kicked the ball right at my chest…it hit me square, and I stopped it, but it stunned me for a moment…just enough time that I didn't notice his sudden inability to put the brakes on. He slipped, just in time for his spikes to hit me in the calf, taking me down with him. It was a mess, two broken bodies lying half on top of each other, I was bleeding, and I'd torn my ACL, Kevin, my friend broke his leg when it twisted under mind."

"I'm sorry," whispered Elizabeth.

"It's not y're fault…They rushed us both to the hospital…I don't know what happened to Kevin…I never saw him after that…all I know is they gave me that first some what hefty dose of morphine…I understood how you could get hooked Elizabeth…I really did. I went through three surgeries to repair the damage done to my left leg. The doctors said if I worked hard and trained hard I could walk normally again…so I did…but what they didn't know was they began a terrible cycle that lasted for almost two years…they attempted to bring me off the morphine…I wasn't havin' it…I took the pain medication they gave me for a month…when I suffered the beginning stages of withdrawal and decided I didn't like that idea…so instead I started prescribing it for myself…fording my doctors signatures…I even stole it a couple times. I've never been so desperate in my entire life."

"Carson that's not your fault, well…okay the stealing thing is…so are the forgeries…but I'm not holding anything against you…you've changed Carson."

"Aye, perhaps, but what have I done to Smithson?"

"He'll be fine; I have faith in him…just like I have faith in you…"

"So you're not letting me leave?" mumbled Carson.

"No, sorry I'm not…now finish, I'm still interested," she said smiling softly.

"A friend of mine…a Resident at the hospital I was training at…yelled at me…By the time he was finished with me…not only did he have me convinced that I needed to get off the stuff, but he had me convinced that I needed to be off of it by the next week…"

"What did he do?" Elizabeth questioned.

"He threatened to tell the board about it. In Medical school we have these boards, they watch your progress…and they make sure you're doing well. If he told the board what I had done…I would have either been kicked out of school or been put on probation and forced into a medical facility. So…instead the doctor that he was…he took me into his home…for one week and three days…he detoxicated me."

"Wow…" Elizabeth whispered. She had heard stories about morphine withdrawal; the rumor was it was equal to that of cocaine. She looked into the sullen blue eyes and smiled sadly, "for what it's worth I'm really glad you quit and that you're better now," she offered as moved around the desk to sit beside him and reached out squeezing his hand.

"Aye…there were days when I hated him…"

_"I'm sorry Carson…" Doctor Wallace said._

_"Please! Ye havta understand!" cried Carson as he gripped the sides of the bed again, another stab of pain ripping his body apart as he fought against the bindings._

_"I'm sorry son, but y're lucky I didn't report this…you could lose your license for this…"_

_"I don't care," he sobbed as he tried to curl up into a ball against the waves of pain. He cried out again, as he felt his mentor's hand upon his shoulder._

_"Yes you do Carson! You can get through this…you're strong lad!"_

_"No…ye do'ne understand! It hurts! Please!" cried the intern as he screamed out, another tidal wave crashing upon him._

_"You're going to get through this Carson! You're going to be stronger because of it!"_

_The days consisted of drifting in and out of consciousness for Carson, when he was lucid he was either full of pain and crying out for help, for someone to comfort him, or he was trying to piece back the life he had created for himself. _

_By the eighth day, Carson was sitting up in bed, dark black circles under his eyes, ten pounds lighter than when he'd been taken to the house to detox, pasty white, his hair was matted with sweat, his breathing had finally come back to a normal rate. _

_Dr. Wallace came into the room and smiled at the intern, "Ye've made it lad…ye're going to be fine," the doctor spoke as he sat down beside Carson on the bed._

_Carson shook his head, "I can't…I'm quitting medical school sir," Carson whispered. _

_Dr. Wallace studied the younger man for a moment, he'd spent the past two years by this boy's side, teaching him everything he knew. It was his intention to make Carson one of the best surgeons and genetic experts in Scotland, to turn over his duties to the boy as soon as he was finished with his internship. _

_"I can't let you do that Carson…"_

_"Can't let me! Where were you three days ago when I was screaming for help?"_

_"Carson…listen to me, you're not a quitter…above all else that was the first thing I really noticed and understood about you. You're going to stay in med school; you're going to graduate with honors, like you've planned all your life. Don't do this to yourself; don't feel guilty for a mistake."_

_"What will my patients think? What about the respect I've earned from other people?"_

_"Your patients don't have to know, if you chose to tell them that's your business, but you don't have to. If anything this will make you understand your patients better. As for the respect you've earned, people are going to respect you more because you stepped up and changed what was happening…you didn't allow it to consume you…"_

_"I didn't allow it to consume me! What do you think the past two years has been?"_

_"Carson, I've seen far worse addictions last for far longer periods of time. You'll be fine lad, ye've just gotta pick y'er self up off the ground, control your desires, and keep moving forward. Ye can't feel sorry for ye're self, ye can't afford it. Ye've got time to make this up, now ye just have to do it," Dr. Wallace offered as he squeezed the younger man's hand._

"He was right Carson, I can't afford to lose you because of self doubts, and you're going to pull through this, I promise you that much. I'll help you, you can talk to Dr. Heightmeyer about it, but Carson I agree, this doesn't have to be known by anyone you don't want to know about it. You got past it, don't let it come back and hurt you…I can't lose you," she whispered as she pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"Ye're sure you aren't gonna let me go?" he asked softly.

"Oh trust me Carson, I'm positive, Rodney would never forgive me if I got rid of the only man who cares what happens to him medically…and emotionally…oh and according to him, mentally too," she said grinning at her best friend, "Rodney cares about you, and I know you care about him too…you can't leave him, not when he's finally let one of about three people through that hardened shell he created."

"Aye ye're right…he'd never forgive me the poor lad," offered Carson.

"Yeah…I kind of figured I was right…so, would you like to join me for lunch?"

"Aye," he nodded.

o0o

It was a month and three days before Smithson was stable enough to discharge back to a hospital on earth in the states. He looked up from his bed to Carson the morning they were going to transfer him.

"I'm sorry for what I said to you," muttered Smithson, "Look Doc, I'm just scared…I've never had an injury this…" he shrugged, at a loss for words, "I don't suddenly know what to do with myself…what if I can't come back here?"

"You were lucky, the only third degree burns were on your torso…I know it doesn't feel lucky, but the skill will regenerate before you know it…your face and neck weren't too bad…you'll be back to pretty boy soon…listen to me Greg, you're young and strong, if you want this to debilitate you then it will, you'll never come back here if you let it take you down. But I'm telling you now…this doesn't have to take you out forever, you can come back here…in another year or two you'll be back on your feet before you know it. I also know for a fact that Rodney will take you back in a heartbeat if you'd like."

"I'd like that Doc…"

"It's a long and hard road, between your knee and burns…not to mention pain medication withdrawal…but they're going to help you. You'll have the best doctors in the world working on you and with you everyday."

"What if Dr. McKay doesn't want someone like me back?"

"Someone who might be addicted to Morphine by the time this is all over? First off, you're not going to be addicted; the doctors will give you a very strong medication that will deaden the pain without getting you addicted. Second off, you forget, McKay has been in that position, Rodney will know where you're coming from lad, I promise ye."

"Thanks Doctor Beckett," the kid whispered sticking out his hand.

Carson grinned and easily shook the hand, "you have great potential, and don't let anyone steal that away."

o0o

Rodney eyed his chess partner carefully as he moved his black knight across the board, "you know…I'm not going to think less of you for telling me the truth…"

"No clue what ye're talkin' about lad…" Carson said his eyes still intent on the board.

"I saw the resignation papers on Elizabeth's desk…"

That got Carson's attention, his blue eyes shot up to meet Rodney's. They softened after a moment and he shrugged, "ye have nothin' to worry 'bout lad, she turned me down…said my reason wasn't good enough."

"That's Liz for you…anyway…she didn't tell me anything, but based off what I've seen this past month…as well as what I vaguely remember from screaming 'you don't know what it's like' during my withdrawal…I just want you to know…I'm not going to think any less of you. Not that you have to tell me…but still I won't."

Carson smiled at his best friend as he swapped the scientist's queen, "Ye're not on very good defense tonight lad…" he paused, letting the words hang in the air for a moment before he nodded, "Thank ye Rodney, that means a lot…I can't tell you…at least not now…perhaps someday I'll tell you what happened."

"That's fine…just remember if you need somethin' or even someone to talk to…I'm here."

"Aye…so I've been told, thanks Rodney."

The two shared a quick smile before facing their pieces again, each lost in their own thoughts. Carson smiled, Rodney was indeed his best friend, and he'd never had another like him. Every once in awhile, the scientist would pull something unexpected on his fellow teammates, but to Carson, he was never truly surprised anymore. He knew that he'd be okay, with the help of his friends, he'd be fine.


	70. Lovely Destruction

Chapter Seventy: Lovely Destruction

He stood just inside the doors of the infirmary, eyeing her from afar. She met his blue eyes with her own tear filled hazel green. Guilt churned within him as he glanced meekly at her, lying still pale within the confines of the infirmary, looking tired and weak.

He felt tears sting his eyes as he thought about what had happened. It wasn't really his fault, he shouldn't be standing around blaming himself, but at the same time he was suddenly afraid to speak to her about what had happened. What if she was angry at him, what if she hated him…what if she couldn't love him anymore.

Carson had urged the astrophysicist to speak with her, tell him how sorry he was that this had happened then help her begin to move on, but he suddenly wasn't sure how to do that, he didn't know what to say to her, how to help her. He brought his hand up to his eyes, rubbing them with his fingers before squeezing the bridge of his nose, boy he really screwed this one up. He wanted nothing more than to hold her, tell her how much he loved and adored her…he felt the engagement ring in his pants pocket, it would be a miracle now if she ever said yes when he finally chose to ask.

He closed his eyes, his mind suddenly wandering over the past forty-eight hours, thinking silently to himself how the best relationship in his life had just gone to hell only two days. The only women he had ever loved, the only relationship he couldn't physically screw up…was gone in less than two days.

_Forty-Eight Hours Earlier_

It was quiet, far too quiet for their comfort; the night had fallen upon the strange planet. The air was cold allowing their breath to be seen, as the two moons cast an eerie, iridescent light upon the heavily wooded planet.

They had their night goggles on, ear phones in, "Anyone else a little freaked out by this place?" Rodney's voice broke the unnatural silence in the air as he took another step, being mindful of the roots protruding from the densely vegetated ground.

"Yeah…are you picking anything up Rodney?" John returned as he continued to search for any sign of something. It had been Ronan who had mentioned this planet, explaining that he recalled something that could pose as energy here.

Elizabeth had picked up on the idea and agreed that it might not be a bad idea to at least pick it up. They just hadn't expected it to be midnight, nearly freezing and nerve-wrackingly uninhabited.

Rodney opened his mouth to respond with a resounding no when suddenly his screen blipped, and then another blip…he was getting a signal five meters to the left of him, before he had a chance to say anything he turned to his left and moved in that direction, five meters where approximately there was supposed to be some type of energy source. However, he saw nothing within a foot of the area, even with the night goggles.

Taking another step forward he froze, as he heard an audible click underneath his foot, terror welling within his heart. He gasped and tried not to jump as a small podium slowly rose from the vegetated ground around his feet, not more than half a foot in front of him. Atop the podium sat a single blue crystal...similar to the bright orange crystals found in ZPMs, but instead of a whole group together, it was a single one.

"Rod...you there buddy?" John's voice came chirping in his ear again.

Rodney opened his mouth to call for help, when suddenly the blue crystal exploded with bright light, sending Rodney flailing five feet from the podium, and into a large tree. He dropped to the ground, unconscious bleeding from his temple where he'd connected with the base of the tree.

"Rodney?" Teyla spoke up this time, her voice full of concern.

"I am fine," came McKay's response, as he stood, staring at the unconscious form on the ground. Smoke swirled around McKay as he grinned, strutting forward towards the figure he glared down at the man.

"Good, let's head home," John called to his brother.

"Very well," replied McKay, with another glance down towards the figure he quickly moved back through the dense forest.

John waited impatiently for his brother to come out of the forest, he was well prepared to lay into the younger scientist for running off, but instead he remained quiet as his brother came into view, "sorry," the physicist replied as he hurried towards them.

"Don't worry about it, just dial it up," John ordered rolling his eyes. The number of times his brother got into a mess by just wandering off was immeasurable. He sighed, suddenly understanding why Jack O'Neill had retired, with a guys like Daniel and Rodney around, it was hard to stay sane very long.

"I know what you are thinking," whispered Teyla as she smiled slyly at John.

He looked over and down at her shrugging, "What?"

"While he may be hard to stand during our missions, and he may not always listen, he is still your brother and your best friend...without him the missions wouldn't be nearly as interesting," she said smiling softly at him.

"My dear Teyla," grinned John, "you know me far too well," he turned his head as the wormhole engaged and he nodded to Ronan, "let's go home."

o0o

Carson pulled the light away from McKay's blue eyes and looked at him, "all right Rodney, you're clear...all of ye are..."

"Great," grinned John, "Rod, I heard Zelenka talking about the possibility of other submersibles down in the belly of Atlantis...wanna go check it out?"

"No," came McKay's straight forward answer as he looked over at his brother with clear cool eyes.

John glanced over at Carson in wonder; it wasn't like Rodney hadn't said no to him before, but at the same time, he never seemed so cold about it. Carson said nothing, but kept his eyes neutral as he glanced over at Rodney.

"I've got better things to do with my time than play with submarines," muttered McKay as he walked out of the infirmary, leaving four curious members of Atlantis behind.

"He's in a bad mood," muttered Ronan.

"No...no he's not," replied Carson softly.

"What do you mean Carson?" Teyla inquired.

"I was with him this morning, he played Chess last night with me...went to breakfast this morning...we were...well he was planning tonight..."

"What's he planning?" Teyla asked.

"Tonight he was going to ask Elizabeth to marry him," replied John calmly.

"He was?" Teyla said smiling.

"Yeah...he's been talking about doing it for months now...he's had the ring since the last time we all went home...he's just been keeping it pretty quiet about it. He had a whole elaborate set up...we actually ran through it last night...right before he came to play chess with Carson...Rodney wanted to make sure everything went perfectly..."

"Maybe it's just nerves," offered Ronan.

"No...That's not nerves, Rodney doesn't act...well when Rodney's nervous you know him, he twitches, he talks ten times faster than normal, he's a complete basket case. No there's something wrong..." John offered as he glanced over at Carson.

"Check it out," Carson ordered quietly.

o0o

Elizabeth sat quietly in her office, working on some last minute paper work. It had been a fairly quiet day thus far, no major traumas, no one seriously injured. She had the feeling that today was going to be a good day.

That's when McKay slid into her office, wearing a smug grin and a looking like he was seriously up to something. However one of the second things Elizabeth noticed was the strange coldness is his eyes and how void of emotions he suddenly seemed.

"Good morning Rodney," Elizabeth greeted with her usual warm smile.

"Hiya sweetheart," he greeted in a cocky return.

Elizabeth's eyes grew wide, it wasn't like no one knew about their relationship, but she'd made it equally as clear as he had, about keeping all personal areas of the relationship out of their work until more people were coupled up and comfortable with the idea, "are you feeling okay?" she asked gently, worry evident in her tone.

"Sure thing babe, why wouldn't I be?"

"Uh...Rodney, I think at work you'd best call me Elizabeth, you know better than that."

"Just thought today was special," he grinned like the cat that had eaten the canary.

"Rodney today is no more special than any other day..."

"That's what you think," he returned winking at her.

Elizabeth was quickly finding herself astounded and on the boarder line of offended as he continued to sit in front of her, effectively making a complete fool out of himself. This wasn't normal Rodney behavior...hell this wasn't abnormal Rodney behavior. Egotism was one thing, but this was...just plain weird.

"Rodney...don't you have something more important to do...I don't know, like a project or something...I heard Zelenka..."

"Zelenka...why does everyone suddenly care all about Zelenka?" McKay bit defensively. He stood up suddenly, leaning over his arms on the desk, getting a little to close for Elizabeth's comfort.

"Rodney…what's going on?" Elizabeth asked raising an eyebrow at him suspiciously.

"What makes you think anything is wrong? Can't a guy…a boy friend might I add…just notice his girlfriend a little bit," McKay said leaning closer to her.

Elizabeth felt heat flare through her cheeks as she suddenly backed away from him, "I don't know what's going on…but you should probably go…"

"Aww come on," McKay said suddenly.

"No…seriously Rodney, it's time for you to leave…" she said standing up and pointing to the door.

"You can't throw me out…"

"Like hell I can't…Rodney get out of my office!" she growled angrily.

With a cold stare from McKay, she watched as he marched out of her room. She watched his retreating back and was stunned, he wasn't sulky, but he also wasn't walking normal.

o0o

Rodney groaned as he slowly allowed awareness to pull at him. His blue eyes drifted open and he realized he was still on the planet they had decided to visit. "Oh…that hurts," mumbled Rodney as he reached out to touch the side of his head. He gasped in pain, pulling his hand away he was stunned to see it covered in blood, "What the…Why is it always me!" he suddenly cried out.

Taking a deep breath in effort to calm himself Rodney began to look around, "you can do this Rodney, no problem, you've got a life signs detector…just wander back to the gate…dial up home…and see where the hell everyone is…and why in Gods NAME they left me here!" he growled.

Pushing against the ground he slowly lifted himself to his feet, groaning as his head began to swim. He leaned heavily against the base of the tree, taking deep gasping breaths as he tried to ride the pain out, "one of these days…" he mumbled to himself, "my brain…is going to be mush," grunting he sighed as the world righted itself again and he took a step forward.

It was light on this planet, which Rodney knew meant, that he'd already been out of it for at least twelve hours. He groaned as he looked around, "the…the…days…eight hours long…" he managed before taking another step. He tried desperately to remember everything he knew about this planet.

He wasn't paying attention to his feet anymore, as he forced his muddled brain to function to further capacity, suddenly he gasped in pain as hit the ground, pain shoot up his right wrist, he cried out and clutched the wrist close to him.

Lifting his head up, he realized he'd tripped over a root, he groaned and gently let his head fall back against the dense ground, pain filled blackness began to suck him under.

o0o

"Doctor McKay…is acting oddly, is he not?" Teyla questioned as she watched from afar as the Doctor spoke to Elizabeth.

"Well…his temper's a little short…and he certainly does seem…" John struggled to find a word that didn't sound as bad as horny…but that was the only word he could think of, so he left the sentence hanging.

"He seems aggressive," Teyla pointed as she watched Rodney continue his discussion with Elizabeth.

John turned his eyes, it was true, Rodney seemed to be far closer to Elizabeth than she wanted and her body language was screaming for help. John wasn't quite sure what to make of the radical change his brother had suddenly taken on in the past fifteen hours. He felt the desire to cheer as Elizabeth stood up and walked away from Rodney, leaving the scientist behind with a deep scowl on his face.

"Perhaps you should speak with him," suggested Teyla calmly as she looked at her friend.

"That's probably a really good idea; see what's going on…why don't you go ask Carson if he noticed anything different about our favorite snarky scientist."

"That sounds like a good idea indeed; I will speak to you when I know more," with that the Athosian woman moved out of the room, John couldn't stop his eyes from naturally following her graceful movements.

Standing up, John hurriedly made his way to his brother's side, "hey, buddy, what's going on?" questioned John as he sat down by his brother's side.

"What do you want?" the caustic growl came, surprising John.

"Uh… I wanted to talk, see what's happening, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," grunted McKay as he stood up and walked away from his older brother.

"Yeah…sound just fine too," Mumbled John as he observed his brother leave; immediately his eyes grew wide, "Oh that's not good," he whispered.

o0o

"Where is Rodney right now?" Elizabeth questioned as they sat in Carson's office.

"Ronan's keeping McKay occupied…but I'm sorry to say that's not my brother," John stated as he pointed to the door.

"And ye can tell this how…last time I checked he had the DNA…the blood work all points towards that man out there being your brother."

"The blood work is wrong, I promise you Carson…it's a totally different person…in fact I'm not even sure that thing is a person!"

"How can you tell?" Elizabeth questioned raising an eye brow. It wasn't like she hadn't noticed his unusual behavior recently. However she wanted to know John knew for sure.

"Watch him next time he walks…my brother takes long sure strides, with a slight favor of his left leg…when he was fifteen and I was sixteen we were in a car accident…it was a minor injury at best, never incredibly painful, but his knee was badly bruised for several months, he used crutches for a weeks. He's fine now, we never really talk about it…but that's how he walks. This guy…this imposter walks in shorter strides, with no favor to either leg."

"Are you sure about this?"

"Elizabeth I watched Rodney recover for three months from that car accident, I still feel guilty about it. Trust me…it's not my brother, I'll give you that Rodney is sometimes a little…bi-polar from time to time…but never to this length, I've never seen him act so aggressive in all the time I've known him."

"He has been…a little…forward…as of late," Elizabeth agreed to. She hadn't ever been scared of Rodney, but whoever this man was gave her a whole new reason to be afraid.

"So you believe Rodney may still be on the planet…"

"I'm not…" John didn't have a chance to think, when the alarms from the gate room went off. Alerting them to an off world activation.

"Let's go!" Elizabeth's order came quickly as she hurried out of the door, followed closely by three of her four best leaders.

They arrived in the gate room to see Rodney McKay…another Rodney McKay, lying on the ground. Carson immediately ran over to Rodney's side, taking in the man's appearance. "John, help me!" Carson called as gently felt for a pulse. He was pleased to feel the pulse was strong and steady.

"What happened?" John asked as he knelt down beside his brother.

"I don't know…let's get him to the infirmary."

o0o

Rodney slowly opened his eyes again, groaning as the light hit his eyes, "where am I?" he managed to mumble.

"Your home…cares to explain what happened?" John's voice broke through his haze.

Rodney turned his head to glance at his brother and groaned slightly, "big…podium thing…it came out of the ground with a blue crystal on it…I…I touched it…big mistake…threw me off my feet…I woke up found myself alone on that stupid planet…got up to move and fell flat on my face…eventually I got here though…how long have I been gone?"

"Well it's been nearly two days since we were on that planet…Carson says you're going to be fine…you've got a broken wrist and a minor concussion…but aside from that looks like you're going to live."

"Oh…comforting," Rodney mumbled he looked down at his arm noticing it in the cast and sighed, "How long until this comes off?"

"Six weeks baby brother…but that is the least of your worries currently…we've got a little problem."

"What?" Rodney asked eyeing his brother cautiously.

"Well…now this is just a guess, but that crystal you decided to touch…that probably wasn't your best idea…I have reason to believe it duplicated you."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean there's currently another Rodney McKay running around…causing a little bit of havoc. And now we need your help to get rid of the real one."

"Havoc…you mean I have an evil twin?"

"Uh…seems like it. Get some rest, Elizabeth's talking to him now…"

"Elizabeth…where is she!" Rodney asked suddenly sitting up and getting worried.

"I don't know…she just said she'd speak to him."

Rodney threw his covers back, groaning as he tried to get out of bed. John was by his brother's side in an instant, "what the hell are you doing?" John asked, supporting his brother's weight.

"That blast knocked me off my feet…if he's wreaking havoc here on Atlantis…he could hurt Elizabeth!" Rodney hissed.

That thought had never even entered John's mind, he continued to hold his brother up, studying the scientist closely, "I'll go help her…"

"No! I…John, either help me get to her room or move, because one way or another…" he stopped, a wave of dizziness flowing through him. He took a deep breath, forcing himself to slow down, "please John…if anything happens to her."

John looked at his brother for a moment, studying the man that stood before him, taking a deep breath John steadied his brother further, then quickly handed him the shoes sitting by the bed, "Carson's gonna kick my ass for this," mumbled John as he kept one arm around his brother's waist and began maneuvering Rodney forward.

o0o

"Doctor McKay…" Elizabeth began as she opened the door to her room, cringing internally. This wasn't Doctor McKay; at least it wasn't her Doctor McKay. "What can I do for you?" she forced a steady tone into her voice.

"Just wanted to talk…are you all right? You seem…nervous," his last words spoken in a tone Elizabeth could only take as menacing.

"No…no I'm fine…why don't we go to my office," she suggested calmly.

"Why? What's wrong with talking here…are you sure you're all right?" McKay asked taking a step further inside the room. Elizabeth backed up slowly, hesitant to get anywhere near him.

"I'm…fine…Rodney, I'm feeling a little uncomfortable…are you sure we can't do this in my office," every warning bell in Elizabeth's mind was going off as the imposter took another step closer to her. She was vaguely aware that she only had about five more feet before she hit the edge of the bed.

"Uncomfortable…really, why would you be uncomfortable around me?" he asked again, reaching out and touching her cheek. She flinched away; suddenly afraid of what might be going through the mind of this person.

"Rodney please," she whispered, she jumped when she felt the back of her knees hit the bed…she'd been wrong.

"Are you always afraid of those you love," he began to move his head closer to hers, and she turned away suddenly, she could feel tears burning in her eyes…not like this, not with this man. This wasn't her Rodney. A million images of what could possibly go wrong from here were rushing through her mind as she tried to find a way to get away from him. She felt his arms slide around her waist, none too gently and she cried out. The kissing began from her collar bone up to her neck, kissing and nipping; she closed her eyes, stealing herself for what could very well happen in a matter of moments.

"FREEZE!" John burst into the room, gun drawn, Elizabeth gasped as she was whirled around and held tightly in the imposter's arms, a knife suddenly at her throat…he was going to kill her…it was the first thing that ran through her mind as her entire body began to shake.

The real Rodney stood by John's side, looking pale, tired and pissed. He also held a gun out, both prepared to shoot if forced to, "get away from her!" Rodney demanded with strength Elizabeth was sure he didn't have to spare.

"Why are you here!" the imposter yelled.

"What, this wasn't part of your plan…how many have you killed? Why are you here? Why would you do this?" Rodney growled.

"I am simply protecting my people…you were a threat…you discovered our secrets…"

"We what? How?" Rodney returned.

John felt like he was watching a wicked game of tennis, he shook his head quickly, "we'll send you home…we won't harm your people any further, just let her go."

"She is your leader…she will not allow it! You must all die!" the man hissed suddenly, causing John and Rodney to jump slightly.

"We'll shoot," John stated as calmly as he could muster himself to be.

"I am not mortal Colonel Sheppard…I will not die as your people do…"

"Your in the body of a mortal…let her go," John said stepped forward.

Elizabeth cried out as the knife cut into her neck, fear filled her eyes, she didn't want to die, she was aware tears were beginning to run down her cheeks as she looked desperately between the three men.

"Listen to me," Rodney began, "you have my word…let her go, we won't ever step foot on your ground again…we'll erase you from the database…and lock your address out of our systems…just please don't hurt her."

"She means much to you," the imposter spoke suddenly, surprising Rodney.

"She means the world to me, look she's not going to stop us…just…let her go…" Rodney spoke, his eyes were on Elizabeth…he knew that look he'd seen it before. More than once, he just prayed that wasn't the look of her fearing him as well as the Rodney McKay who was holding her hostage currently.

Elizabeth looked ready to snap, John could see her visibly shaking under the man's grasp, he thanked whoever was watching that they'd come when they did and not moments later, afraid what she might have suffered then.

"Get away from her," John stated again as he cocked his 9mm. He would shot this man, just like he'd shot Koyla, as long as it meant Elizabeth was safe.

John met Elizabeth's eyes, and for a moment he saw the flicker, she gave a slight nod, careful of the knife against her neck and the blood already dripping from the small wound he had created. John didn't hesitate.

Elizabeth dropped to the ground as a resounding blast hit the air and the imposter McKay dropped to the ground in a heap, bleeding from a single wound to his head. Instantly Elizabeth began to scoot away from the body, jamming herself against the wall, curling into a fetal position, knees to her chest.

"Beckett, Teyla we need you here Stat," John called calmly into his ear phone. "Rodney…sit down," he ordered taking a look at the scientist who looked ready to collapse.

"But I…" Rodney said as he began to move towards Elizabeth.

"Now is not the time!" hissed John as he pointed his brother to the nearest chair and sat the younger man down. Moving over to Elizabeth hesitantly, placing the gun on the floor by her feet, he gently reached out and touched her head, "Liz?" he whispered, afraid for his friend's life and sanity at this point. She'd just gone through a hell of two days trying to stay clear from the one man she wanted to spend all of her time with, and now the imposter was dead…there was really no telling what this would do to Elizabeth and Rodney's relationship…but John was fairly sure it would take some getting over.

Reaching out, John slid closer, one knee under himself and the over by her side; he gently pulled her to his chest, cradling her as she began to cry.

o0o

Elizabeth was admitted for observation, Carson had cleared her as healthy, but he still felt it important that she remain in his care for twenty-four hours…not to mention she hadn't been gung ho to return to a room where she'd almost been killed in.

Her eyes turned up from the edge of the bed to the man who stood by the door, his eyes rimmed by red, swollen no doubt from all the tears he had shed. Carson had finally admitted to Rodney's trouble dealing with everything that had happened. She was terrified; she couldn't help but feel suddenly afraid of him. How was she supposed to get past this feeling she had around him.

His wrist was in a cast, he looked pale and exhausted, but his eyes looked lost. They held a new level of sadness to them. Elizabeth sighed, wishing she could make this all right again. She felt tears in her eyes as she looked down at the blanket draped across her body. Was it her fault? She felt like it was, she had noticed the obvious difference, but she hadn't stopped it early on…she wasn't sure there was anything she could do, but for the first time she was sure she understood how a rape victim must have felt. Violated and frightened of men suddenly.

Part of her wanted nothing more than to grab him into her arms and hold him until there was no tomorrow. She felt her own eyes fill with tears; she bit her lip to hold them back but found herself unable to keep them at bay. They would have to move past this, they couldn't spend the rest of their lives at such an awkward place. She couldn't live her life like that, because as much as she was frightened by what had happened over the past two days, she still loved and adored him with all her heart. He was still the one for her, and she knew she was still the one for her.

She covered her mouth with a shaking hand, and then suddenly something occurred to her. Carson had told her she could stand on her own; so ever so slowly; she turned her legs out of the bed, gingerly setting her feet on the floor. And that's when she almost went down; she wasn't surprised to see Rodney running towards her.

She held her hand up, stopping him where he stood, no more than five feet away from her. She pushed her self up from the bed further, gripping it for support. She paused, allowing herself to gather her footing firmly, and then hesitantly she took a step forward. She kept her hazel eyes settled on his blue aching eyes.

She reached out a shaky hand to his cheek, touching it ever so lightly, he turned his head away and down from it, as though he didn't deserve her love anymore. She braced herself for what she was about to say, she knew the truth, he'd always forgiven her…it was her turn to step up to the plate and forgive him this time.

She gently stroked her thumb over his soft cheek, and then suddenly she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. Instantly his arms were around her, it wasn't a savage kiss, but it was full of love and passion as he dug deeper, their kiss deepening with each second, his hands gently running over her back. Her other hand slipped through his hair as she continued to pull his head closer to her.

When they finally pulled apart, they were both gasping for air, Elizabeth opened her mouth to speak, but suddenly found there was no need for words, there were never the two of them. For as long as they may argue and annoy one another, she was in love with the man who stood before her. Suddenly she found herself pulled tightly into a hug, as he latched onto her, gripping her close as though if he let go he would lose the most important life line he had. Seconds later she found her lips entwined with his again, god she did love this man. They would heal, perhaps this was only the beginning and they had a long road ahead of them…they'd been set back a little bit, but in the end she knew they would be closer and better off because of this whole problem.


	71. All the Way

Author's Note: The chapter everyone's been waiting for! This is an engagment chapter, so hold your breath becuase by the end of this chapter there will be an engaged couple! On a different note, I've got a beta for Saving Grace: A Northern Star. Which I currently have planned to be posted on August 18th, 2006 which is two days before I leave for my second year college. We'll see how it goes from there, thus far I have two chapters written and several more planned including a visit from an old friend. So enjoy the beginning of the end, before we start the end of the beginning!

Chapter Seventy-One: All the Way

Lauryn peeked around the corner that led from her room to her daddy's room. The rest of the room was dark, and one figure lie in the bed, the rising sun beginning to cast a light upon his body.

Grinning, she quietly ran over to the side of the bed, it was easily at chin level for her, but it had never stopped her before. Reaching up, she gripped the side of the bed, levering herself carefully until she could swing on leg over the edge.

If her daddy knew she was on his bed, he was showing no signs of it, with a sly grin she slowly crawled towards him. Taking the figure in, he slept on his stomach, one arm thrown above his head, the other was slipped between the bed and the pillow.

She chose that moment to scare him, jumping up, she landed directly on his stomach, gaining a satisfying 'oof' from her father. Rodney's eyes shot open as he grunted in obvious pain that his kidneys had just been used for a bean bag chair.

Lauryn squealed in delight as his hands suddenly shot out and lifted her high above his head. She loved waking Rodney up, and as much as Rodney tried to keep a serious face, he couldn't deny for a moment how much he loved and adored this part of their morning. He slowly brought her back down, pressing a soft and gentle kiss to her cheek.

"Thanks for the wake up call kiddo. Now, what say we get you ready to go see mommy?"

Lauryn looked up at him with those big blue innocent child eyes and he felt his heart melt a little, "play wif me daddy," she said holding out her arms to him.

Rolling his eyes Rodney swooped her off the bed, tossing her a little in the air and catching her with both hands, he brought her to rest against his hip and sighed, "daddy has to pack Lauryn…remember, we're going home today?" Rodney offered as he carried the little girl back into her bedroom to get her dressed and ready for the day.

Carson, Laura, John, JJ, Teyla, Rodney, Elizabeth and Lauryn were headed back to Earth for a week. They would be gathering new members to the expedition to replace some they had lost, as well as just to add some more expertise to the mission, they had a lot also to fill the SGC in on; Daniel was coming back with them, and there was an Air Force Ball at the end of the week that the President had personally invited them to.

Elizabeth had obliged, while she knew most of her people wouldn't be thrilled with the prospect of going to a ball, she found it an honor for helping protect the world. Then she purposefully pulled her friends along for the ride.

o0o

Elizabeth already sat in her office, enjoying a nice hot cup of coffee when she glanced up to see Lauryn come flying into her room, seconds later Elizabeth was catching the girl in her lap, grunting slightly as she landed hard. Pressing a kiss to the top of Lauryn's head she smiled. "You're getting fast, where's daddy?" Elizabeth questioned.

Seconds later Rodney came in, answering her questions, looking like he's just run a marathon, "good morning," Rodney muttered before sitting down in a chair.

Elizabeth chuckled slightly, "you slept in today," Elizabeth smiled, it was his last official day off, the cast was to be removed as soon as they got back from Earth.

"I probably would have kept sleeping if Lauryn hadn't decided to use my stomach as a trampoline this morning," he grunted eyeing his beautiful little girl.

"I love you daddy!" the girl said with a gleeful grin.

"I love you too Lauryn," Rodney smiled softly.

"Rod!" John's figure came bounding up the stairs to the gate room, seconds later skidding into the room a wide grin on his face. His eyes landed on his niece and the smile grew wider, "hey there sprout!"

The two year old dashed out of her mother's arms and hurried towards Uncle John, who easily scooped her up off the ground. "Rod, I've got big news!"

Rodney rolled his eyes as he watched his brother smile; Rodney was already fairly sure he knew the big news, but didn't comment, not wanting to disappoint his brother in telling the story. "I'm sure you do…why don't we leave Lauryn here, and get ready to leave," Rodney suggested.

Carson had made it quite clear; last night during their nightly chess game, that no one else was to know about the secret. Rodney also figured if John knew about it, then that meant Carson had told him since Rodney was the only other one who knew.

"Wait…you know?" John grinned.

"Ah…yeah, not here John," Rodney looked at his daughter who was playing with John's Atlantis patch, "Lauryn say bye to Uncle John," Rodney said gently.

She turned her blue eyes up to her Uncle John, who gave her the big puppy dog look. She grinned and threw her arms around his neck, kissing his cheek, "Love you Unca John!" she said with exuberance.

"Okay Sprout, come here," Elizabeth said standing and taking her daughter back into her arms, "Rodney…" Elizabeth began.

"I'll tell you as soon as I can, love ya," he pecked her on the cheek, pressed a kiss to his daughter's cheek as well then dashed out the door with John hot on his heels.

Elizabeth watched them as though they were two teenage boys running from their house getting ready for a game of some sort. She looked down at the little girl in her lap and shook her head, "your daddy and Uncle John…are just big kids you realize that?"

"Daddy's big kid!" she grinned.

o0o

It was around noon when they prepared to step through the stargate. Elizabeth looked up a Major Lorne and Ronan, "try to keep the place in one piece while we're gone," she grinned.

"Dial it up Lieutenant," Rodney called as he gripped his daughter's hand.

"Daddy," Lauryn whispered as she pulled at her daddy's shirt, Rodney knelt down beside her and smiled.

"Yes honey?"

"Does it huwt?"

"No Lauryn, it…its cold," he replied.

"Kay…daddy..."

"Yes Lauryn," Rodney said standing back up, but keeping his eyes on his daughter.

"We's goin' home?"

"To my planet—yes honey."

"Daddy?"

"Lauryn," Rodney felt like a parent with an anxious child in the back.

"What if I haveta go potty?" she asked just loudly enjoy for Teyla and John to hear.

John glanced down at JJ, chuckling softly as he looked back at Teyla, "you sure you still want one of those?" he asked grinning.

"Yes…just not now," Teyla replied rolling her eyes.

"Lauryn, sweetie it'll take half a second to get from here to earth. You won't have to worry about pottying, okay?"

"Kay…daddy…"

"Everyone ready?" Elizabeth asked as she made her way towards her daughter and Rodney. She looked down at the soon to be toddler and chuckled, "are you ready Lauryn?"

"Mommy…what a second?"

"Ah…ask your father, come here," She lifted the toddler into her arms, clutching her close as the gate exploded with life, the wormhole open, "Stargate Command, this is Atlantis…we're ready to come home," she said grinning.

"Come on through Atlantis," Daniel's voice came in return.

"Mommy…"

"I swear if she say's are we there yet," Rodney mumbled from behind Elizabeth.

"Lauryn, close your eyes," Elizabeth said, with a large step, she was through the other side of the wormhole.

Rodney followed closely behind with their bags, behind him came Laura, Carson, JJ, Teyla and John headed up the end with the final bags. "Welcome Home Atlantis," General Landry greeted from the bottom of the ramp.

"Thank you General," Elizabeth smiled in return.

"Mommy!" Lauryn's eyes flew open as she suddenly began to take in the world around her.

Elizabeth chuckled as she lessened her old on the girl in her arms, "What do you think Lauryn?"

"I fink it was cold," whispered the girl as she wiggled out of her mother's arms, "Unca DANNY!" the girl cried.

Daniel Jackson chuckled as he walked through the door and swooped the girl up into his arms, "you're younger than me and you've been in more galaxies," he joked as he pressed a kiss to her cheek. "How are you?"

Everyone on the SGC had heard about Lauryn, many had met her and found their hearts rapidly wrapped around the child's finger. Daniel was only one of many.

"I good," she replied hugging him.

"Well that's great, so I have a big surprise for you, wanna see it?"

"YAY!" the girl cheered, suddenly she paused and looked back at her daddy, as though waiting for permission.

"Don't look at me, you're in his hands now…if you think that'll be fun, go ahead," joked Rodney as he nodded to Daniel.

"Come on Squirt," Daniel placed her on the ground, taking her hand in his and walked her out of the gate room.

"It's nice to see you again Dr. Weir, Dr. McKay, Dr. Beckett, Lieutenant Colonel, Lieutenant Cadman, and you must be Teyla," Landry replied as reached out to shake Teyla's hand.

"It is a pleasure to finally meet you General Landry, I have heard so much about you," the Athosian offered.

"So have I, why don't we get you guys settled into the rooms you'll be staying in for the duration of your stay, we'll brief in an hour and then you can all get something to eat. Dr. Carter is looking forward to see you all again…and we've got some other people we'd like you to meet as well."

"Thank you General," Elizabeth nodded, with that her and her top people made their way to their respectful rooms.

"I hope they're feeding us well at this Ball of theirs," mumbled Rodney as he walked beside Elizabeth.

"Yes well, they usually do, come on Rodney, perk up, this is going to be fun," a hint of sarcasm evident in her voice. The airmen that was escorting them pointed to the various rooms they were in, "If you need anything just let us know," he offered.

"Thank you Sergeant," John replied as he opened the door to his room, it was like every other room on the base, filled with the bare necessities and not much else.

He dropped his stuff just as Rodney came in, dragging Carson behind him. Rodney quickly shut the door and grinned, "so?" Rodney goaded his best friend.

"Ye two are acting like spoiled teenagers," Carson growled.

"It's exciting Carson…this is big…" John suddenly joined grinning from ear to ear.

"Aye, it is and if ye two mess this up for me…Look, don't mention it, don't tell anyone else…she can't know…not until it's perfect."

"Any idea when you're going to do it?" Rodney asked.

"Aye, I might have a few in mind, not tha' I plan on telling ye. The more I tell ye two, the more likely ye'll slip up and say somethin'. You'll have to be in suspense just like the rest of 'em."

"Can we see the…" the door bursting open interrupted John before he could finish his sentence.

"Sorry to interrupt, Rodney Elizabeth wanted to talk to you, and Colonel…Colonel Mitchell is outside, he'd like to meet you…" Laura said grinning.

"Right, thanks Lieutenant," John replied with a nod, glad he hadn't said another word. The brother's slipped out of the room, leaving Cadman and Beckett alone.

"This is the first time I've been home since I came to Atlantis," she whispered softly looking at him.

"Aye, I know…how are ye?"

"It's weird," she consented as she sat down on the bed by his side, "I thought I'd really miss home, mom and dad…my little brother, but…" she shrugged letting her sentence trail off.

"Aye, I find myself missing Atlantis far more when I'm home than I find myself missing earth when I'm in Atlantis. I think it's because it became like a home to us."

"And a family," smiled Laura, "I haven't had so many friends ever."

"Me either love," he put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer, "I love ye…don't know if I told ye that lately or not."

"Oh…you might have mentioned it in passion," she replied, pressing a kiss to his lips.

o0o

Samantha Carter sat behind the wheel of the SUV, by her side sat her friend Elizabeth, behind them was Vala, Teyla, Carolyn, Laura and of course Lauryn in a child's seat.

"I can't believe they're actually letting me out of the base," Vala interrupted the small talk that had been going on for quiet some time.

"Yes well…I believe Daniel's exact words were 'Best behavior and to shoot you if you weren't'." Joked Sam.

"He's such a polite man," laughed Carolyn as she shook her head.

"So come on…give us all the juicy tid-bits Liz, anyone married yet?" Sam asked looking over at her best friend.

Elizabeth smiled, she missed being around other women. She didn't mind the guys, but there was just something about spending a girl's day out with your friends. Shopping for their dresses was an added perk. She couldn't wait to blow Rodney away with whatever dress she and the girl's chose.

"No…no one's married yet. I think we're all a little worried that someone will be against the idea of having couple's on Atlantis," Elizabeth replied softly.

"I wouldn't worry about it, if they say something, just remind them that you're protecting two galaxies," Sam returned.

"It would be exciting," Laura suddenly spoke up, "to be the first married couple on Atlantis, the first to have children…."

"Biologically speaking of course," came Elizabeth's reply.

"So let me get this straight…you tamed Rodney McKay?" Carolyn asked from the back leaning towards Elizabeth.

"I didn't tame him…he willingly tamed himself. He's still not the most romantic man in two galaxies, but he's certainly loyal. He's a good man, I think you'd be surprised Sam."

"I was surprised when I came to Atlantis and found how worried everyone was about him. It's good to know he's finally got people who really care about him. What about you Teyla? Are you and John looking at a union in the future?" Sam glanced in the review mirror at the woman.

Teyla's doe brown eyes lit up just at the mention of John's name, it was the first thing people noticed about their relationship, "John and I…have a different type of relation…perhaps one day we will go as far as marriage…but for now I believe he is content with being a father."

"That sounds about like Jack," muttered Sam, "he's completely content with just spending time with me…"

"He's been in love with you for a long time Sam, I wouldn't give up on him just yet," chuckled Elizabeth.

"Do you have anyone special Dr. Lam?" Teyla questioned.

"Please call me Carol, and yes…actually I do," a grin forming across her face slyly.

"Oh no…you didn't," Elizabeth said looking back at the doctor.

"Oh yeah…" Carolyn replied, "Colonel Cameron Mitchell, the one and only."

"You lucky little fiend," chuckled Elizabeth.

"I thought you were happy with Rodney," Sam said suddenly.

"I am…but come on, Cameron…is just…wow," Elizabeth replied like a teenage girl.

"He is a fine specimen isn't he," Carolyn said grinning.

"Nice ass too," Vala spoke up, causing all the girls to laugh.

"Oh and you're one to talk, you've got Daniel wrapped tighter than I've seen him in years," Sam returned.

"He wants me…I know it," Vala smirked.

"Wants you…or wants to kill you, because you tread a very fine line," Carolyn responded.

"We're here!" Sam called as she parked the car in the nearest spot, "Remember guys, no shop talk, this is strictly about men…and dresses," grinned Sam.

Vala took care of getting Lauryn out of the car seat, after a few choice words, the child was released, and they all headed into the dress shop, Lauryn perched against Vala's hip.

"Are we getting Lauryn a dress?" Sam asked as they began to look around.

"Ah…no Rodney and John are dropping JJ and Lauryn off at his ex-wife's house. He talked to her a day ago, she seems to be fine with it.

o0o

"I don't know why you're so nervous about this," Rodney commented as he tried yet again to straighten his tie. "It doesn't matter…twenty some years later and I still can't tie a damned tie!" growled Rodney.

"Oh good grief lad," mumbled Carson as he pulled his best friend closer and began to work the tie, "As for why I'm so nervous…think about it Rodney…I mean this is huge…"

"Well I'm sure if you stopped thinking of it as huge it wouldn't be nearly as…daunting. Try not to think about it Carson, it's not like you don't already know what she's going to say."

"Aye, I have a million things that come to mind of what she could say…nary a one is what I'm hoping for."

"Okay, first off Carson, you need to think positive," John chimed in from his position in front of the bathroom mirror. "If you go in there and say "hey…you wanna…you know…" That would kill it Carson. Go in there being calm, no stuttering, just…" he shrugged as he finished his tie and grinned.

"Shut up," hissed Rodney as he looked at his brother.

"What?" John replied in offense.

A knock jolted them from their discussion as Daniel opened the door, dressed in a nice suit with a smile on his face, "ready to go?" he asked.

"Yeah," John answered quickly as he grabbed his two friend's by the arms.

"Wait!" Carson yelled suddenly, he rushed over to the side table and opened the drawer, staring down at the only thing that sat in the drawer.

"You know, you can't fear the ring…it'll never work," John said peering over his best friend's shoulder.

"Okay, just for that, you're not in the party!" grouched Carson.

"You can't mean that," John's hurt came through.

"Aye I do," muttered Carson as he snatched the tiny velvet box from it's spot in the drawer and led them all out of the room.

"Ohh…does that mean I'm the best man?" Rodney asked grinning.

o0o

"I don't know what's with me," Laura said as she finished zipping up the back of her beautiful pearl colored dress, she looked in the mirror and smiled.

"You're going to knock him off his feet," Elizabeth grinned as she squeezed her friend's hand.

"You don't look too bad yourself Elizabeth, I have butterflies in my stomach…" she said smiling.

"Well, this is a pretty big deal, I mean you only get to go to the Air Force Balls…every few years."

"We have them for the Marines…usually I found a way to get out of them."

"No guys?" Sam asked as she looked at her newly acquired friends.

"No…I'm just not a fan of dressing up, I mean appropriate times obviously, but I was never one of those kids who willingly dressed up if I didn't have to," she explained.

"We're hot!" Vala's voice broke their thoughts as she stepped into the room with a wide grin on her face.

The six women looked at each other and grinned, "she's right, all of our guys are going to be drooling," Sam chuckled.

"This is actually the first time…dad's going to see me with Cameron," Carolyn whispered.

"Good, you show him that you're not his little girl anymore," Sam said wrapping an arm around the doctor.

"Well…let's not keep the men waiting," grinned Elizabeth.

o0o

The ball room was remarkable, they had decorations, US flags, and tables everywhere, there was a stage where a band was setting up to play. The seven men walked into the ball room like they owned the entire place, deciding to make the entrance that would give them credit, they all wore sun glasses, Jack headed up their little posse, with the rest behind him. As if practiced, they all ripped the sunglasses at the same time.

General Hank Landry stood beside General Hammond, shaking his head, "they're all fly boys," muttered Landry.

"They always will be General…even Teal'c," chuckled Hammond as the men moved over to them.

"George!" greeted Jack.

"Hello Jack," Hammond shook his friend's hand and smiled, "Teal'c, Daniel it's good to see you both again."

"You are well General Hammond?" Teal'c questioned.

"I'm wonderful, you all look very good," he said grinning at his friends.

"Thank you General," Daniel chimed in.

"General, I'd like you to meet the finest in Atlantis, this is Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, Doctors Rodney McKay and Carson Beckett. Gentlemen, this is General Hammond."

"It's nice to meet all of you finally, Jack has told me a great deal about all of you. Colonel Sheppard…not the same Colonel Sheppard who disobeyed orders and flew into Iraq…"

"Yes sir," John replied firmly, he wasn't ashamed of what he had done, just because someone thought it was wrong didn't mean it was.

"Yes well…I knew one of the men you saved that day…While you disobeyed a direct order…thank you, we need more of your kind who are willing to risk their lives for others…"

John grinned, "thank you sir!"

"So are the girl's here yet?" Cameron asked grinning from ear to ear, he hated these penguin suits, but part of him was ecstatic to see Carolyn.

"No…although the president is if you'd like to speak to him," grinned Landry.

"I can wait sir," replied Cameron.

They didn't have to wait long, the doors suddenly burst open, all heads swiveled to the sound, Sam led the pack a wide grin on her face in her beautiful apple red satin dress, behind her were Carolyn and Vala in navy blue and black dresses similar to Sam's. Behind them were Teyla in a lilac purple radiating with her hair up from her neck, wearing a necklace John had gotten her, Elizabeth in an emerald green that brought out the glitter in her eye and finally Laura in a beautiful pearl white.

Carson felt his breath taken away from him as he got glimpse of Laura, although he knew the other men were just as affected as they saw the grin on every woman's face.

"Nice entrance," Jack greeted as he pressed a kiss to Sam's cheek.

"Teyla…wow," John shook his head not sure what else to say, she was stunning.

"You look very nice yourself John," Teyla replied softly with a smile.

"Rodney?" Elizabeth asked as she moved over to her boyfriend.

Rodney just stood there, unable to speak or even move, his mouth open. He felt Elizabeth close his mouth gently with one finger and grinned, "there are no words," he whispered.

"Thank you," she replied.

"Carson, you look great!" Laura said exuberantly.

"Nye…ye…wow Laura…ye out do everyone else here," he whispered.

"Thank you Doctor," she said smiling.

"Colonel," Carolyn greeted Cameron with a sly grin.

"Doctor," he replied carefully.

Vala walked up to Daniel with a grin all over her face, if it hadn't been for the fact that he'd pleaded with her to behave, she would have grabbed him in a kiss right there and then, but these people didn't seem like the right kind to do that in front of, she chose to save it, "you look good."

"You're being very polite…no knock me on my ass kiss?" he returned.

"I could if you'd like," she grinned.

"Maybe later," he smiled softly at her.

o0o

The night began with a burst of energy as the ball room filled with people. There were cameras everywhere, friendly chatter going on. It was just plain exciting. The SG teams all sat together, chatting about missions safely, memories and friendships.

Dinner was either roasted chicken or some vegetarian meal, followed by dessert after several courses. The options were a lemon type pie, chocolate devil's cake, or apple pie. As a favor to Rodney, Carson and Elizabeth who sat on either side him also chose against the lemon dessert, deciding not to freak the scientist out this evening.

Finally around nine the dancing had commenced, within seconds of the beginning song Jack led Sam onto the dance floor; "you know they're not splitting up," commented Daniel as he smiled at Teal'c.

"Oh I don't know…I hear she saved a dance for McKay," Cameron commented.

"Really?" Rodney asked hopefully.

"Down boy," John bantered.

"Colonel…would you like to dance?" Carolyn spoke up suddenly looking at her friend, colleague and the man she'd been seeing quietly for the past three months.

"I'd love to Carolyn," he replied as he stood and took her hand, leading her to the dance floor.

"Hey Vala…wanna dance?" Daniel grinned at her, he had to admit she'd come to mean a lot to him.

"Aww Daniel, I thought you'd never ask," she grinned as she grabbed his hand and whisked him away to the dance floor.

"Teyla, may I have this dance?" John asked offering his hand to her, she chuckled softly and took his hand, allowing John to elegantly lead her onto the dance floor where he pulled her close and began to sway to the soft music with her.

"Carson?" Laura asked softly.

"I'd love to," he replied.

"So Eliza…care to spend the night dancing away with me?" he smiled mischievously at her.

"You better finish what you start mister," she chuckled.

"I feel like a proud father," Hammond said smiling as he watched his people dance with one another.

"Apparently am the proud father," Landry replied as he watched his beautiful daughter laugh at something Cameron had just whispered in her ear.

"Let them enjoy it General…I think you'll be surprised," Hammond replied clapping his friend on the back as he got up to talk to some old friends.

Landry sighed, "just don't hurt her Mitchell," he whispered softly.

"You look amazing," Rodney whispered on the dance floor as he swayed, Elizabeth held tightly in his arms.

"Thank you…you look quite dashing yourself Doctor McKay."

"Yeah...about that Doctor McKay thing…any fancy in making two McKay's on Atlantis?"

"Aren't there already two McKays?" she grinned, mocking him slightly.

"Okay…I mean two Doctor McKay's."

"Hmm…Elizabeth McKay…doesn't sound bad, I could get used to it," she grinned as she dipped in for a soft kiss. "Yeah, definitely could get used to it, but you're going to surprise me with that whole proposal thing right?" she asked softly.

"Elizabeth, you'll never see it coming," he replied, "I'm going to marry you, that's a promise."

"Oh…some might take that more as a threat," she laughed.

"If you'd like to take that as a threat," he grinned, "you can…"

"I love you Rodney," she whispered.

"Elizabeth…there are no words for how deeply I adore you," he replied as he gently caressed her cheek.

Carson was all to aware of the small box that sat preciously in the inside of his jacket pocket. He'd already spoken to the band, they had everything arranged, now all he had to do was get through the entire evening without blowing something totally and he would be set.

"Are you okay?" Laura asked, why was he so nervous. She didn't understand. He was acting like she felt.

"I…I'm fine," he lied as he held her closer, he was going to lose it, he suddenly wasn't sure he could propose, "actually…ah, I'm gonna go get some air."

He hurried towards the balcony on the other side of the room. The cool night air hit him and he closed his eyes, feeling the nerves begin to slow down a little. Apparently not enough however, he nearly jumped a mile high when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

He whirled around to see Teyla standing there smiling at him, looking stunning in her dress, "John is dancing with Laura…she is concerned about you…as am I."

"I'm…" he shook his head, "I'm asking her to marry me tonight…and I just keep thinking of all the millions of things she could say or do and every one is worse than the other…."

"Carson," she caught his wild hands and smiled, "do you not love Laura?"

"Of course I do…I wouldn't be askin…"

"Does she not love you?"

"I…I guess so…" he replied softly.

"You two have been dating for nearly two years…breathe deeply my friend, and relax…you were meant to be," she offered softly.

"Maybe…I just keep thinkin' bout everything we've been through…so much can happen…"

"Carson, stop," Teyla said pressing her hand to his lips, "just stop…believe me any woman would be lucky to have you…I believe I have heard John say that once or twice to people…if Laura loves you then I have no doubt she will respond well. Now come, do not keep her waiting."

"Very well…Thank you Teyla," he whispered.

"You're very welcome Carson…what are friend's for…if not support?"

"Aye, ye couldn't be more right."

o0o

It was nearing midnight, and Carson was getting far antsier with each second that went by. With less than five minutes to midnight, he heard the band speak up, "this song is going out to a very special couple this evening, the last one of the night. Thanks for coming out tonight!"

Carson looked at Laura and smiled, "Laura, can I have this dance?" he asked softly

"Of course," she grinned in return.

_When somebody loves you  
It's no good unless he loves you - all the way   
Happy to be near you  
When you need someone to cheer you - all the way _

Carson pulled her close and sighed, a million words went through his mind, everything he ever wanted to say, taking a deep breath he paused, "Laura…" he began.

"Carson, sweetheart?"

"No talking…not yet…let me finish," he whispered as the words continued.

"I didn't come to Atlantis to find love…I came to heal people…instead you've helped me heal…ye gave me something to look forward to every morning…Laura yer the last person I think of before I go to sleep, an' yer the first person I think of every mornin'. I love Atlantis, and everything about it…the moment ye arrived…it became so much better…" __

Taller than the tallest tree is  
That's how it's got to feel  
Deeper than the deep blue sea is  
That's how deep it goes - if its real 

Laura held a look in her eyes of nervousness and passion, she loved and adored this man and what he had just said to her meant the world. She was stunned when Carson let go of her hands and took a step back, with a hesitant smile he slowly knelt to one knee.

_  
When somebody needs you  
It's no good unless he needs you - all the way   
Through the good or lean years  
And for all the in between years - come what way _

All the eyes were on them as Carson reached into his coat pocket and pulled out the tiny box, he opened it agonizingly slow and looked up at her, knowing that people were watching. Laura's hand immediately flew to her mouth at the sight of the stunning ring held within the confines of the box.

A beautiful platinum 3/4 ct princess cut diamond was staring her in the face. Carson's hands shook ever so slightly as he held it up in front of her. He took another gulp of air before looking up at her wide blue eyes. Tears had formed in his eyes as he quickly reached up and wiped the tears dripping down his face, "Laura Marie Cadman…will ye marry me?" he finally managed to wrench the words from his dry mouth.

__

Who know where the road will lead us  
Only a fool would say  
But if you'll let me love you  
It's for sure I'm gonna love you - all the way, all the way

No one spoke, no one moved, all eyes on the couple in the middle of the dance floor, waiting for the woman to make her reply.

Laura felt the tears pouring down her face as she looked from the beautiful ring to the beautiful man offering it to her. Her stomach hit rock bottom, the butterflies grounded, a lump formed in her throat as she opened her mouth to reply. She was aware the song had ended, the night was over…for everyone except them.

Reaching down she paced her hands on either side of his cheeks, slowly lifting him back up to his feet, she suddenly drew him into a kiss, aware of the cat calls all around them as she put all her passion into the kiss. Finally they parted and she looked into his beautiful blue eyes, "yes Carson, yes I will marry you," she finally managed between sobs of happiness.

Applause erupted in the ball room, as Carson drew her into a big hug, whirling her around and kissing her again. He was vaguely aware of the pats on his back coming from his best friends, but nothing matter now…nothing except the beautiful woman standing directly in front of him.

o0o

"To the happy future Dr. and Mrs. Beckett," Cameron called as he raised his wine glass in the air.

The group of fifteen were the last ones in the ball room, they had remained behind to share one last conversation and a bottle of wine. Everyone grinned as they held their glasses in the air, "may your lives be filled with joy, trials, tribulations, arguments, lots of making up, and beautiful children," John finished for the pilot.

"Cheers!" everyone chorused.

Carson grinned, his arm had been tightly around Laura's shoulders since she had said yes, she was leaning against his chest now, grinning, every few moments looking down at the rock on her finger.

"So are you more in love with the ring or the man," chuckled Carolyn from her position nestled in Cameron's arms.

"Oh…I think right now I'm somewhere in between," Laura chuckled as she leaned her head against Carson.

"Well…I'd say this was a good night," John said smiling softly at is friends.

"So you're not mad that I forced all of you to come here?" Elizabeth chuckled.

"I didn't have a problem with it," lied Rodney.

"Rodney, you suck at lying," John said throwing his napkin at his brother.

"Wow…just think you guys, you're going to be the first married couple on Atlantis," Sam said from the other end of the table.

"I always had my bet on Rod and Liz," Laura said grinning, unable to believe it was true.

"Wait a minute…there was a bet?" John asked. "why wasn't I in on this?"

"Because you were one of the ones we bet upon," Teyla answered smiling.

"Wait…you're in on this?" Rodney yelped.

Suddenly the three Atlantien women raised their hands grinning sheepishly, "we all had bets, it began as a poker game, Elizabeth bet that Carson would be the first to pop the question…I bet it would be Rodney, and Teyla…didn't you bet Zelenka?"

"I did," grinned Teyla giggling.

"Hey!" John replied offensively.

"Don't worry John, you're still in the race, now it's down to you, Lorne, Rodney, Ronan and Zelenka," chuckled Elizabeth.

"There aren't even that many couples…and who the hell does Zelenka like?"

"Heightmeyer," everyone from Atlantis replied grinning.

"Wow…never saw that…" mumbled John, causing the others to laugh.

"So any idea when the wedding will be? Or Where?" Daniel inquired.

"Ahh…actually haven't thought about it yet…Laura?"

"I'd like to get married on Atlantis…and on Earth, I think our parents should be there…why don't we have two, we'll do one for the Athosian ceremony…and we'll do one for Earth. Just small, close friends and family," Laura said smiling.

"That sounds good to me," Carson replied.

"You guys could stay here a few more days and have the wedding…" suggested Cameron.

"I'd like to wait a little while…maybe a few months?" Laura said gently, "get acclimated to living with him…being engaged…"

"Tell you what, come back for a small vacation in July, and we'll throw you a shower fit for a queen," Sam offered.

"I'd like that, July it is," she replied.

"We'll get married…July 31st…I've always liked that date," Carson said smiling.

"It's perfect," Laura whispered.

"Wow…I can't believe it's finally happened," Elizabeth beamed.

"Believe it…I'm gonna be a married woman."

"Well…we should be off, we'll see you guys tomorrow morning," Jack said as he scooted away from the table, offering Sam her coat.

"Night everyone," Sam gave Laura a big hug, "congratulations Laura, Carson."

"Yeah…I should probably get going too," Carolyn admitted.

"Here, let me walk you to the car," Cameron quickly stood up to follow her like a lost puppy.

"I probably shouldn't and try to spy should I?" muttered Landry.

"Uh…no," Daniel replied smiling, "Vala…are you ready to go? Teal'c need a ride?"

"Yes," Teal'c replied as the three friends made their way out of the ball room.

"Goodnight gang," Hammond whispered.

"Well…I'm off, goodnight…and congratulations you too, I have no doubt you'll have a wonderful life together."

"Thank you General," Laura replied, Carson only words behind her.

The six friends sat in silence for a few moments, just taking the time to soak up everything that had occurred. "We should let them clean up…we'll head back together…" John finally spoke.

The six friends stood, making their way out of the ball room, each slinging their arms around their significant other, each content with the way the night had gone and with their live around them.


	72. Panicked

Author's Note: This chapter is for Hannian who came up with the idea :) Thanks! Hope you enjoy it. On another note, currently Saving Grace Northern Star is going to be avialable via email, so if you're interested in reading the next installment of this fun adventure please email me at and let me know. Thanks again and enjoy the last four chapters of the journey.

Chapter Seventy-Two: Panicked

Radek Zelenka, Kate Heightmeyer, Ronan Dex and Major Lorne watched as the hatch to the Daedalus was lowered, within seconds JJ Sheppard and Lauryn McKay were speeding from the large ship they'd been prisoner on for the past eighteen days. Lauryn instantly spotted her target and seconds later she was being hoisted into the Runner's strong tanned arms, proving he had a softer side, as he hugged the child in return.

John and Teyla were the next to exit the large ship, looking well rested but pleased to be home. John grinned at his friends, "JJ, don't go too far." He called before moving over to Ronan and greeting the man.

Behind Sheppard came Colonel Samantha Carter and Vala, Dr. Daniel Jackson. Daniel didn't look too thrilled as Vala trailed by his side with a wide grin on her face. "Perfect spot for a honeymoon," Vala determined, causing Daniel to throw his hands in the air as he rolled his eyes.

Next came Rodney and Elizabeth, looking better than they had in months, rested, and prepared to take over their city again. "Dr. Weir," Kate greeted her friend with a hug.

"Radek, I trust you kept the place in one piece?" Rodney greeted his friend.

"Of course Rodney."

"Good, Ronan, gimme my kid," reaching out Rodney took the precious cargo from his teammate and shook his head, "Come on Radek, we'll go over the reports."

Finally Carson and Laura descended the ramp to the ship, grinning as wide as they could. Kate instantly began to clap and cheer, followed by the others who stood on the pier.

"Thanks," Carson said smiling, "Its good to be home," his eyes trailing to his future wife.

"Yes, yes it is," she agreed squeezing Carson's hand.

o0o

"Carson and Laura seem very happy," Elizabeth spoke as she began to put her stuff away.

"They should be, they just had the first part of a honeymoon," mumbled Rodney.

"It would be nice to spend one night alone without Lauryn…you know just you and me…"

Rodney eyed his girlfriend and shrugged, "Liz, we're together all the time…we just spent the past eighteen days…"

"Rodney, I want to go on a date," she finally spat, stunned that even after nearly three and a half years he was oblivious to women and their hints.

"Oh…uh…" he smiled meekly and nodded, "I'm sure that could be arranged," he said turning just in time to eye her with a wicked grin.

Elizabeth shook her head, but was surprised when she felt him slip his arms around her waist, "I love you," he whispered pressing a kiss to her cheek.

"I know you do…so do I," she replied as she turned around in his arms, she leaned her head against his forehead and smiled, "I love you too."

o0o

"But why do I have to baby sit?" whined the eight year old boy glaring at his father.

John sighed again, returning the stare of contempt, "Because you're a big boy now. Look it's easy, she needs to be asleep by nine and you need to be in bed by ten. It's just so that we…the adults can go out and relax for a night."

"Dad…she's a baby…"

"Wow, you are smart," John chastised, "Jay, behave and I'll owe you big for this one. However, parents need a break once in awhile too, you wouldn't believe the crap I have to put up with when it comes to my kid… We just spent eighteen days on a space ship…we'd like a break."

"May I add that I just spent most of those eighteen days traveling with Lauryn! What if I want a break?"

"You don't get a break kid, life isn't fair, I'm sorry…if you'd prefer I can pay her for baby sitting you."

"Dad, seriously I don't want to baby sit, why can't she just sleep in her room, I'll stay here."

John groaned and knelt down in front of his son, hands on the boy's shoulders, "Look Jay, you're baby sitting and that's the end of this discussion. If you keep pressing this issue you're going to find yourself in bed a little earlier than normal and a few less rights. Clear?"

"Fine," mumbled JJ as he collapsed on the couch; heaving a huge sigh as though the entire world were against him.

"And do your home work," John called as he moved into the bathroom.

"Slave driver."

"Keep it up Jonathan Joseph and found out what a slave driver I can really be," he threatened.

"Oooh the whole name," with that JJ slammed the door to his bedroom.

John shook his head as he stared at bedroom door. He'd known this wouldn't be easy; if the kid was anything like his father he'd be a hell raiser. Of course, JJ was exactly like him, it made perfect sense that he'd drive his father up the wall…karma.

There was a knock on the door, drawing John away from the bathroom as he moved to answer it, "Jay, front and center now!" John called losing his temper rapidly with the boy. He opened the door to their quarters and smiled at Elizabeth who looked to simply be radiating with excitement. "I'm just about to leave, where are you guys headed to?"

"Rodney picked out his favorite balcony on the South east pier…"

"Good, sounds like we're all going somewhere different. Hey Lauryn, you be real good for JJ okay," John said kneeling down in front of his niece.

"Kay Uncle John," the girl said holding up her thumb.

"Hi JJ," Elizabeth called as the boy appeared.

"Hi," he muttered as he looked at the toddler who looked bright eyed and bushy tailed.

"Be good Lauryn, we'll swing by before midnight and pick her up," Elizabeth offered.

"That's fine, have a good date," grinned John as he bid a goodbye to his superior and friend.

Quickly finishing up a few more things, John opened the door again and looked back at his son, who now sat occupying the couch as Lauryn colored in a book Rodney had bought back on earth. "Be good. I'll be back later tonight, don't leave this room buddy."

"Yeah," mumbled JJ.

"Love you too," grumbled John.

o0o

JJ stared miserably an hour later at the toddler, she'd been coloring for the entire hour she had been here so far. He was going crazy rapidly as he watched her. She was perfect, she was probably a better colorer than his dad. She was in the lines and everything.

"Lauryn, it's bed time," JJ lied as he decided he'd had enough of watching a two year old color.

"No," she stated simply and she shook her head.

"Yes, Lauryn I'm in charge and I say it's time for bed," he wasn't being fair, not by a long shot, but he was dying of boredom and he didn't want to be stuck with baby sitting her, a minute more.

"No time!" she cried as pointed to the nearest close, which clearly read twenty till nine.

JJ's eyes went wide, "You really are Uncle Rodney's kid. Look Lauryn please just this once will you go to bed early for me," he whined as he met her at eye level.

"Pay hide an' seek?"

"Lauryn…" he whined.

She cried out again at him,stomping her foot,"PAY!"

"Okay!" he yelled back, taking a deep breath he stepped away, "I'll play one game of hide and seek with you, but that's it."

"YAY!" she cheered. "Cwose eyes!" she quickly demanded.

JJ sighed, closing his eyes he slowly began to count, peeking every few seconds to see where she was going. He was stunned when she closed her eyes and suddenly the door between their quarters and the hallway flew open.

He couldn't move or speak before catching sight of her running out of the room as fast as she could. He felt his heart stop and his stomach jump, "You have got to be kidding me," he hissed. "Lauryn!" he yelled quickly running after her.

o0o

One would assume that an eight year old boy was faster than a two year old girl, however JJ was quickly discovering otherwise. She'd flat out disappeared less than ten minutes ago and suddenly he found himself unsure if she was even down the same corridor as him.

"Dad's gonna kill me…then Uncle Rodney's gonna kill me…then Aunt Elizabeth is gonna exile me…I'm so dead," he whimpered. "Lauryn! Come on, this isn't funny anymore!" JJ called out to his cousin.

He could just visualize the looks on his father and uncle's face when he told them the truth 'well ya see I closed my eyes because she wanted to play hide and seek…' JJ rolled his eyes at the mere thought of the anger that would be written all over their faces, "I bet this never happens to Uncle Rodney."

Continuing his one sided conversation as he stalked down the hallway he didn't notice the little form sitting in the darkness of a doorway. However he did hear the giggle, he turned around just in time to see her running off again.

His father would have cheered if he'd seen his son's dive. JJ lunged towards the transporter the child was headed for just in time to pull himself into a roll and avoid being taken out by the doors. He landed on his back, eyes looking up at his young cousin as she grinned before the white light transported them somewhere completely different in Atlantis.

"I better be getting paid good money for this," he groaned as he let his head drop back to the floor.

o0o

"So I've been thinking…" Rodney began as he and Elizabeth shared their spaghetti dinner, a bottle of champagne and the candle light as the night began to settle over Atlantis.

"Oh this can't be good," she replied chuckling.

"Be nice," he returned, "Anyway I've been thinking…with Carson and Laura planning their weddings…and us no doubt far behind, I thought it would be fun to discuss what we want for a wedding…here or on earth, all that stuff."

"You know Rodney…sweetheart, most men propose before they discuss their weddings."

"All in due time my love, all in due time. Seriously though Liz, would you want a big wedding, small wedding, one on earth?"

"You know what…in all honesty I don't really care, I want to be happy and I want to be with you. I don't have any family left on earth but Will…and he's generally too busy…I would love to have a wedding on a balcony in Atlantis…a nice white dress…just simple…have Carson or John as the best man, Teyla would be my maid of honor, have one of the priests on the mainland wed us."

"Good, because that's what I'd like as well."

"I've been doing a little of my own thinking…and I want another child…"

"Uh Liz…I thought we agreed we were going to get married before we had anymore kids…"

"We are, but…well Lauryn is growing so fast, and I realize she's more yours than mine since you're her adopted father but…I want another baby…I just remember holding her when she was so little, and before we know it she'll be three…and then she'll be five…and then ten…"

"Whoa…okay first off she's barley two, so lets not get her to ten yet, her dear old dad isn't ready to face the teenage years anytime soon. Second off, we just got the kid outta diapers…I'm not ready for another kid…not yet."

"Well I don't want one tomorrow, we get married in a year maybe two…and we'll have a kid nine months later, by that time she'll be five, it would be perfect."

"How many munchkins did you want?"

"Rodney, I'm being serious," Elizabeth whined.

"So was I…look I promise you'll we'll be married within two years, but are you really sure about three kids, and especially right after we've gotten married…I always wanted to wait a year or two after getting married then start making little McKay Jr.s."

"Rodney most women don't pop kids out after their forties as easily as they do in their twenties and thirties."

"You're not going to be forty for another four years…"

"Rodney."

"Okay, I'll make you a deal, we'll be married within the year, as promised, give me six months to at least get acclimated to being married…then we'll discuss children again, if we both agree we're ready…we'll take a shot."

"Okay…so does this mean I can expect a ring soon?"

"Gettin' antsy aren't we," Rodney chided, "Don't worry, sooner than you think. I just want it to be a surprise."

"I'm sorry Rodney…we've just been together for so long, it seems like it'll never happen."

"Oh, I wouldn't worry, it'll happen, before you know it, now…how about a dance?" Rodney stood up and held out his hand, pulling her into the middle of the balcony and close.

"So romantic…I love you Rodney," she whispered…they were words they said so frequently now, but at one point they'd been the hardest words she'd ever said to anyone.

"I love you too," he replied as he pressed a kiss to her lips.

o0o

"Okay, Lauryn, listen to me," JJ said holding the girl by the shoulders, "Stop thinking."

Lauryn's blue eyes were wide with that JJ could only assume was wonder and excitement. He shook his head, no one ever told him the important stuff. Barely four-seven JJ could scarcely reach the control panel for the transporters, where ever they had transported to…they were officially stuck there until someone found them or until he found stairs.

"JJ mad?"

"Uh…JJ's a little frustrated right now, yes," JJ replied in the most adult tone he could muster. Frustrated was putting it lightly, he wanted nothing more in the world than to scream, yell and pitch a fit. He looked down at his young cousin and wasn't surprised to see her lower lip jut out and begin to shake, "No…no…" JJ didn't get a third 'no' out before she started to squall like the two year old she was. "That's it!" he hissed, "I'm never babysitting again!"

The two stood in a face off, the two year old screaming and crying, and the eight year old only seconds away from breaking down as well.

Night had fully set upon Atlantis, JJ could only assume it was nearing nine-thirty or ten, since they'd obviously left before nine. Taking a deep breath he quickly tried to control his rampaging emotions and figure out what he needed to do. He quickly looked around, he had no idea where they were…Lauryn probably didn't know any better than he did. She'd just thought something, and boom that's where they appeared.

He didn't know any way to contact his father…and he wasn't really in the mood to get a major dressing down at the moment, so there was no chance of that. He took another deep breath and suddenly remember what he'd learned in boy scouts and from his dad, 'when you're lost, stay put, someone will find you.'

"Lauryn, stop!" JJ yelled.

Instantly the crying stopped, the tears disappeared and sniffles took their place. Two blood shot blue eyes looked up at him and she held out her arms. "You can stand on your own two feet, thank you very much," he replied. "Look Lauryn, we're lost okay, so unless you know how to get back to daddy…we're going to have to wait here until someone comes and finds us."

"Mommy!" cheered the girl.

"No, Lauryn, I'm not kidding around, we're stuck here until someone finds us…now I need you to be a big girl and sit down here beside me. No more running around, we have to sit down and cool out for awhile…okay?"

He waited, and was pleased when she nodded solemnly. "Good girl, now…come here," JJ patted the floor as he sat down and waited for her to take a seat beside him. "It's gonna be fine, our dads' will find us…hopefully," he mumbled.

o0o

John sighed as he opened the door to his quarters, after bidding Teyla a wonderful evening he had ever intention of taking a nice cold shower to melt away his frustrations. Unlike Rodney and Carson, John wasn't quite as ready to let go of bachelordom. He loved being a bachelor for all it was worth…course he'd already been married once.

He turned the corner towards his room and stopped short, surprised and a little worried to see the door to his quarters were wide open. He broke into a sprint, get skidded into his quarters and took a look around. It was just before eleven, and the way JJ had been acting earlier, John was fairly sure the boy wouldn't be in bed yet.

He peeked into the bedrooms only to find his assumption correct, neither child was present in the room…or in the quarters for that matter. "Oh this can't be good," he mumbled.

He reached over the couch and swiped his ear piece from the side table, "Lorne," he beckoned.

"Yes sir," came a quick response.

"Have you seen JJ or Lauryn around this evening?"

"No sir…I thought they would be with you or in your quarters."

"Uh…their neither actually…could you contact Ronan and Teyla for me please…I'm going to round up the rest of the crew…we've got two missing persons on our hands…and they're both under the age of ten."

"Yes sir!"

John took a deep breath, trying to slow his suddenly speeding heart down, "JJ, where the hell are you," he mumbled. Tapping his ear piece again he paused, "Rodney…Liz…."

The likelihood of any of the couples having their head sets on was probably slim to none, however he was hoping for the best at this point. "Rod…Liz…Carson…Lieutenant Cadman come in," he called again over his head set and waited.

"Lieutenant Cadman here, what's wrong Colonel," came an answer at last.

John raised an eyebrow, "Lieutenant…why do you have your ear piece with you?" He could just see Carson and Laura rolling their eyes.

"We just got back from our date, what's wrong Colonel?" she asked again.

"Sorry…uh, we've got a minor problem Lieutenant, it seems that we're missing…a couple of people…"

"Sir?"

"Just report to the briefing room…we've got a serious problem."

"We'll be right there sir," Laura replied.

o0o

"JJ…" whispered Lauryn from the floor beside him.

"What?" he grumbled, still trying to figure out how they were going to get out of this.

"I'm code," she whimpered looking up at her cousin.

JJ sighed and reached over, lifting her into his arms, he pulled his legs close again, enveloping her in his warm embrace. "Try to get some sleep Lauryn…our parents will be here before we know it."

"Love JJ," she whispered as she closed her eyes and dozed off as soon as her head hit his chest.

JJ looked down at her and smiled; he suddenly felt guilty for yelling at her, and making her cry. She looked up to him, she was always following him and trying to be like him: he had done the same thing with Lisa when he'd been her age, always following his older sister around. JJ hugged her closer, it felt good to have someone look up to him, want to be just like him, "I love you too kid," he whispered in return.

o0o

"Are you telling me that our children are missing and you have no way of detecting them?" yelled John as he glared at the Canadian technician.

The younger man grimaced slightly, "Sir, I can't explain it, they're not giving off the slightest signal…"

"Where's my DAUGHTER?" growled Rodney as he barged into the control room, Elizabeth followed him looking frantic and worried.

John looked at his brother, suddenly unsure who the anger was directed at but he took a deep breath, "Look Rodney, I came back to my room and neither of our kids were there…"

"We can't find her sir…she's not on any of the radar, neither is Colonel Sheppard's son…"

"Well you'd better start looking!" hissed Rodney.

"Where's Ronan…" Elizabeth said suddenly.

"He's already searching Liz, I told him to get back to us as soon as he found them…we'll find them," John offered.

"Forgive me if I'm not reassured at the moment," she whispered.

Rodney slid an arm around her shoulders supportively, "We have to find her…"

"We will…Put me on city wide," John said suddenly. He waited, allowing the tech to switch quickly. "Lauryn, Jay, if you two can hear me…stay put guys, we'll come to you okay," he called to them, praying they heard him.

o0o

"JJ," Lauryn whispered again from her curled position in his arms, "You mad?"

He weighed his response, he was scared, and he couldn't deny that he was annoyed…but he wasn't angry, at least not at her. "No," he replied looking down at those big blue eyes, "This wasn't your fault Lauryn…you're just a baby," he replied softly.

"I scared," she whimpered.

Drawing her closer he smiled sadly, "Don't be scared Lauryn, you stick with Cousin JJ and you'll always be safe," he murmured, cuddling her closer.

"Lauryn, Jay, if you two can hear me…stay put guys, we'll come to you okay," JJ smiled at the sound of his father's voice over the system, it helped the sudden anxiety he felt towards being lost.

"Trust me dad…I have no intention of going anywhere anytime soon," he replied softly as he leaned his head against the wall. The planet's moon was beginning to cast an eerie glow in the empty hallway. He groaned as a chill began to settle on him, his young imagination beginning to create terrorizing thoughts as shadows moved.

"Dad's gonna kill me," whimpered JJ as he pulled his legs in tighter, curling further around the frail body in his grasp. He had to protect her, above all else, he had to protect her.

o0o

"Sir I really need you to calm…."

"Calm down?" hollered Rodney as he glared at Major Lorne, "My two year old is stuck in a city bigger than New York!"

"Who knows what could be out there," continued John, he was terrified. Had JJ gotten their message? Was he hurt or separated from Lauryn…was he near the water…was he okay?

"John," Teyla's voice interrupted John from his further advance on Major Lorne.

"What?" Growled both men.

She took a deep breath, then continued. "We have searched the quarters, and many hallways near you…we've had no success."

"Could they have used a transporter?" Lorne asked from where he sat in front of the city schematics they had pulled up nearly two hours ago.

"No…Jay isn't tall enough to reach it yet…besides he only knows where one is, and he doesn't have a clue where the stairs are," John replied crossing his arms in front of his chest.

Elizabeth lowered her face into her hands, "We need to search everywhere in the city…" she mumbled.

"Dr. Weir…this place is huge…" began Lorne.

Her hands suddenly hit the desk with a resounding smack, "I'm aware of that Major!" her tone sharp with fury, "What dumbfounds me is you're wasting valuable time telling me that…while our children's lives are at stake! That's my daughter and we WILL find her!"

The room was silent, Major Lorne sighed as he looked down at his feet, "Yes ma'am," he replied finally.

o0o

Rodney felt his heart thumping in his chest as e ran, yet another, scan of the city. They were trying to comb every inch, but there was so much to search. Taking a deep shuddering breath, to calm his nerves, he closed his eyes and focused on the task at hand. Teyla, Lorne, four other AR teams, Ronan and Cadman were all out looking, leaving Elizabeth, John, Carson and Rodney to wait for any news.

_'Daddy'_ Rodney's eyes shot open. Had he imagined her small voice simply out of worry and fear. Casting a quick glance around, his eyes fell on Elizabeth. She sat in her office looking at a picture John had taken of their small family. Lauryn was her little girl too, there was no question how deeply Elizabeth loved Lauryn.

Elizabeth chose that moment to look up, catching his glance. She must have noticed his flustered glance because her eyebrow rose in questioning.

Taking another deep breath Rodney closed his eyes and refocused on Lauryn again, _'Lauryn…it's daddy…are you all right?'_

_'Daddy?'_

_'Honey…are you with JJ? Are you both all right? Yes or no angel?'_

_'Yes…want momma,' _came the shaky voice in return in his head.

_'I know angel…Lauryn do you or JJ know where you are?'_

_'Uh uh…'_

_'Lauryn….do you see anything near you? That could help us find you?'_

Rodney jumped when he felt a hand fall against his shoulder. He looked up into Elizabeth's blood shot eyes, "Are you okay?" she asked softly.

"There's…a very distinct possibility that our daughter…is telepathic…and I mean that in the utmost seriousness."

"What happened?"

"Uh…I…I just closed my eyes and suddenly I heard her…she says they're fine…and together."

Elizabeth eyed her scientist in doubt, "Are you sure?"

"Uh…sort of…it's worth the try Liz…unless you've got other plans. We know Lauryn has special abilities…I knew before hand she could possible read minds…apparently she can do more than that."

"Do they know where they are?"

"She's only two…she doesn't know this place that well. However, I might be able to keep a connection with her…while Radek runs another scan of the city…kind of the same way you'd trace a phone call. Maybe she'll give off some type of signal."

"You're stretching it don't you think?"

"Liz…it's worth the try," he repeated.

Hope shone in her eyes, "Do it," she ordered quickly with a nod.

Closing his eyes again he waited, _'Lauryn…are you there sweetheart?'_

_'Where you go?'_

_'I'm here now baby…are you safe?' _

_'Want momma,'_ Her mind must have faltered for a moment, Rodney could tell she was getting sleepy, he took another breath, _'I know you do sweetie…mommy and I are going to try and get to you as soon as we can…I need you to stay with me a little longer.'_

"We've got a signal!" cheered John snapping Rodney from the conversation abruptly. "They're two floors down from the quarters….just out side one of the old labs."

"Let's go!" Rodney said pushing away from his chair and running for the nearest transporter, "Cadman, Teyla, meet us two floors down from our quarters, we think we've got 'em!"

o0o

The parents, Teyla, Carson and Cadman rushed into the hallway, "Lauryn?"

"JAY?" John and Rodney yelled at the same time.

"Dad!" cried JJ as they came into sight.

"MOMMY!" cried Lauryn as she tore out of JJ's arms. Elizabeth cried in relief as she caught the toddler and latched onto her as tightly as she could without suffocating the baby. "Oh honey, don't ever scare mommy and daddy like that again," whimpered Elizabeth as she hugged the stuffing out of her daughter.

Lauryn clutched at her mommy with equal gusto, crying on her shoulder. She buried her head in Elizabeth's shoulder. Elizabeth completely enveloped the child in her arms, whispering to her that she was safe.

JJ ran to his father, who immediately swept him into his arms and pressed a kiss to the boy's cheek, "Don't you EVER do that to me again," huffed John as he hugged his son as well.

"I'm sorry dad," whimpered JJ as he clung to John's neck. He sighed, relieved that he was safe again in strong familiar arms. Wrapping his legs around his father's waist, he decided he didn't want to walk the distance back to their quarters; he'd take the opportunity to catch a much needed ride.

Lauryn clung to Elizabeth a few more minutes, until she turned her head and saw Rodney standing near by. She reached out to him, pleased when he scooped her into his arms. "You're amazing angel," he whispered pressing a kiss to her nose.

"Love daddy."

"I love you too sweetheart."

o0o

Two sets of content and relieved parents made their way back to the assigned quarters with sleepy children and smiles on their faces. Elizabeth watched as Rodney walked into Lauryn's bedroom. She took up a spot in the door way and watched Rodney have his moment with their little girl, "You've had a busy day my dear," he whispered as he gently rubbed her back and hummed her to sleep. Once he was sure she'd drifted off to sleep he placed her in the crib and looked down at the angelic face.

Grinning he turned around, exhaustion written all over his happy face and joined Elizabeth in the doorway, after a few seconds of watching her sleep they slipped into the main room. Both parents collapsed onto the bed and smiled weakly, "Really want more of those?" Rodney asked as he folded his hands behind his head.

Elizabeth smiled as she rolled over on his side and propped her head up with her hand. "Someday; not soon though….I don't think I've ever been so scared in my entire life."

"If we have one…you realize this fear thing will never end. We'll always worry about both of them."

"It would be worth it," she whispered, "Come here," she patted the pillow beside her head and smiled as he scooted close. He pressed a kiss to her forehead as they lay on the pillow, looking into each other's eyes.

"Three," she whispered as she closed her eyes.

"Hmm?"

"I want three more."

"All at once or one at a time?" he joked.

"Cad," she replied in exhaustion.

"Love you Liz," he mumbled falling asleep, his breathing beginning to even out, "Love you...and our four future McKays."

Elizabeth chuckled softly as she stroked his cheek, "We all love you too," she replied. Eyes closed, they're dreams took over as they slipped away from awareness…all was right on Atlantis again.

TBC


	73. The Strongest Angel

Chapter Seventy-Three: The Strongest Angel

Elizabeth awoke to the sunlight shining in her eyes of the Atlantis morning. She smiled faintly, appreciating the beauty surrounding them. She looked down and realized she'd fallen asleep in Rodney's bed again. She shook her head, "one of these days Rod…we need to make this official, because I'm not comfortable sleeping here if I'm not married," she mumbled as she squeezed his hand. She loved him, and he loved her…but she'd been raised to believe one didn't move in with the man until the ring was on the finger.

She knew it was old fashioned, but they'd waited this long…it simply seemed wrong start breaking beliefs when they were so close. She rubbed his arm gently, before slipping out of the bed.

When she came out of the shower twenty minutes later she smiled to see Rodney was still fast asleep on his stomach, his short hair sticking up in every direction. Elizabeth grinned as she neared the bed. She crouched down and gently ran a hand through his silky hair, chuckling when he turned his head towards her and slowly opened his hazy blue eyes, "Hey," she whispered.

"Hey you," he replied, "Love you," he mumbled.

"I love you too. I've got a meeting in a couple hours, so how about some lunch?"

"Sounds good," he mumbled closing his eyes again.

"Don't forget honey. I love you," she pressed a kiss to his forehead, smiling at how adorable he looked half asleep.

"Won't…bye," came his half hearted response as he sank back into the bed below him. Sighing, she gently ran her hand through his irresistibly soft hair again before slipping out of the room.

o0o

"Somehow it just seems wrong that even in Atlantis I'm writing invitations to my wedding," mumbled Laura Cadman as she glared down at the simple letters asking her closest friends and family to attend her wedding. The way Carson and Laura had it figured it would be a wedding of about 25-50 guests, with Rodney as the best man and Elizabeth as the maid of honor, John was a groomsman and Teyla a bride's maid. They even had JJ and Lauryn being ring boy and flower girl.

"Hello love," Carson came into his office, smiling at his fiancée.

She grinned as she tilted her head back just in time to catch a kiss from him, "So…how goes the hunt for new quarters?"

As soon as they had hit the great city John and Rodney were off trying to find new quarters in their end of the hallway for the happy couple. John called Carson's current quarters Bachelor hall, because they were all single rooms with a bathroom. He and Rodney had both moved to the area of the city they now crowned as family arena.

"Uh…well you'll see this evening. How goes the invitations?"

"Be glad you're hunting for the living space," she mumbled miserably.

Carson chuckled and shook his head, "Trust me Laura, I am," he grinned, "So…Teyla says the priest on the mainland is more than happy to do the ceremony whenever we're ready."

"Great…any preference?" she asked.

Oh no," grinned Carson, "it's ye're turn, I chose the date for our wedding on earth. This is your decision."

"Okay, Carson focus here for a moment…I was never….nor will I ever be one of those girls that had my wedding planned by the time I was ten. Never gonna happen…I would have been happy running off to Vegas to get hitched," she screeched.

"Sweetheart, first off…you may have been happy with a Vegas wedding…but I wouldn't have been…and I'm positive our parents wouldn't have either. Laura, I'm not marrying you because you had it all planned out, I'm not one of those guys that ever wanted a girl who had it all planned out. Takes it away from the excitement," grinned Carson, "Ye pick a date for the Athosian wedding sometime in the next two and a half months and we'll work together to throw this little party together for July."

"I just wanna marry you…is that so wrong? I don't wanna go through all this," she pouted.

Carson chuckled as he hugged her, pressing a kiss to her cheek, "Tell ye what, I won't even make ye change we're name if ye don't want to," he grinned, "Don't worry love, everything will fall into place.

o0o

Atlantis slept peacefully hours later, no one expecting the youngest member of the expedition to suddenly wake everyone up. Rodney was sound asleep on the couch, a place he'd recently taken up in his room when Elizabeth had fallen asleep in his bed the last two nights. They'd gone back to their late night discussions, then Elizabeth would fall asleep at some point curled in his bed…respecting her privacy and decision to wait he always turned to the couch, it wasn't the most comfortable place…but it was his decision.

His eyes snapped open suddenly, he looked around suddenly. Two things had changed him perhaps the most; he had an instinct now that he hadn't had back on earth. He could sense things; Elizabeth called it his sixth sense. He always sensed if something was wrong with Lauryn or if something bad was going to happen on a mission. He awoke at the instant sound of a whine from Lauryn.

He waited for a moment, trying to figure out what had suddenly awoken him from his deep sleep. He didn't have to wait long when he heard the moan from the other room. Instantly he was on his bare feet and padding across the living room to Lauryn's small bedroom. He walked over to the crib and peered in side.

Lauryn slept on her side, a grimace gracing her face as she kicked her feet, her hands moving as she tried to fend someone or something off. Her hair was damp with sweat; worry creasing his own features he reached out and pressed his hand against her forehead. He was stunned when he pulled his hand away from the heat radiating from the small child.

"Lauryn?" he asked gently. Two hazy blue eyes gazed up at him and suddenly her lower lip began to tremble, "hey baby, what's got you in such an uproar?" he asked reaching into the crib and lifting her into his arms.

She instantly attached herself to him, continuing to moan and whimper. Rodney sighed; she rarely got sick, this wasn't normal. He gently rubbed her back and slipped back into the main room of their quarters. He looked around for his ear piece, unable to find it; he gave up and headed out of the quarters, heading down the hallway to the bedroom Carson had found a day earlier. He quickly knocked on the door.

Carson cracked an eye open to the sound of pounding against the door, his arms instantly tightened around the figure lying in the bed next to him. "What the bloody hell," he mumbled as he let her go and stumbled over to the door seconds later.

The door 'whooshed' open, to reveal Rodney standing their clutching a very ill looking Lauryn. She turned her sweaty face to look at her Uncle Carson, lower lip trembling. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"I don't know; I woke up to hear her moaning she's running a pretty high fever. It's not normal for her to get sick…so I brought her here, I'm sorry," Rodney was at a loss for what to do at this point.

"Aye…give me a moment," slipping back into the darkness of his own quarters, Carson grabbed a pair of sweats off the nearby chair and pulled them on, he looked around for something to pull over his college t-shirt but decided it wasn't important.

"Carson?" Laura called softly from the bed.

"Shh, I'll be back later love, go back to sleep," he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her cheek before disappearing back out of the room.

The two men slipped into the infirmary a few minutes later, Carson took her quickly and began to run the standard tests he ran for all his patients. Checking her heart rate, BP, temperature and shook his head, "she's got a fever of 101.2…it's high even for her, her heart rate is elevated as is her BP, but it's my guess she may have been having a nightmare. Her lungs are clear; everything else sounds clear as well."

"What should I do?"

"It's possible this is just the beginning of a wee cold…it's been going around, she's just like most humans, she's going to catch colds and such. I can take some blood from her if you'd like run a few more tests…not sure if it would give you anymore than what I just told you."

"What do you suggest?"

Carson shrugged as he removed his stethoscope from his neck and set it on his desk. He leaned over the little girl and looked her in the eyes, "I think as the father it's up to you. My best advice is to take her back to your room and let her sleep with you…she sleeps better with you anyway. If she still feels warm by tomorrow afternoon bring her back in here and I'll take some blood and a few cultures…I don't think it's anything though."

"If you're sure," Rodney nodded as he reached out and lifted her back into his arms. Neither man missed how she put her head against his shoulder in exhaustion as though she were trying to hold up the world on her little shoulders.

"I'm sure…come lad, back to sleep," Carson said softly.

"Sorry to wake you for anythin'," Rodney whispered as they made their way back to their quarters.

"No, don't worry about it," Carson replied as he ran his hand through the girl's damp curls, "feel better lamb," he murmured.

Slipping back into his room, Rodney lay Lauryn down on the bed by Elizabeth, he then stripped off his shoes and curled up down beside her, placing the girl directly between her parents. She turned back to him and began to whimper slightly.

Sighing Rodney continued to run a hand through her sweaty hair, trying to ignore the fever radiating off her tiny body. He pressed a kiss against her smooth forehead and smiled sadly. Pulling her closer into his arms he gently began to sing softly to her.

Elizabeth turned over and noticed Rodney gently trying to sing a fussy Lauryn back to sleep, "everythin' okay?" she slurred as she moved closer to the couple.

"She's got a fever…Carson thinks she got the cold that's been going around…but I don't know," Rodney whispered.

"What else did he say?"

"If her fever isn't down by lunch tomorrow I should bring her back in for another check up."

"She's probably fine Rod," Elizabeth whispered gently as she began to rub the girl's stomach in hopes to calm the whining toddler.

"Yeah…probably," he leaned down, his lips against Lauryn's forehead again and closed his eyes, taking in the smell of the shampoo Elizabeth loved to use on her. "I love you," he whispered to the haze filled blue eyes.

o0o

By mid afternoon of the next day Rodney was one hundred percent positive that primal infant instincts kicked in for children of all ages when ill. Lauryn's normal speaking ability seemed lost as she cried and whined through most of the day no matter who held her or soothed her.

Rodney looked at Carson from across their usual lunch table, his eyes begging the physician for some help as to why his little angel was suddenly feeling so terrible.

"I'll get some blood and a few cultures, but I didn't see anything' last night."

"Well I think her fever's higher and I'm pretty sure she's not faking it," stated Rodney.

Carson nodded; he understood his friend's worry. Shortly after lunch they herded the small toddler up to the infirmary and began running a full battery of tests. "I'll keep her here for observation, why don't you go find Elizabeth…hopefully when you come back I'll have something."

"Okay…" Rodney nodded and hurried out of the infirmary.

Carson sighed and looked down at his surrogate niece, "what ails ye my love?"

He'd barely gotten the sentence out of his mouth when one of the blood analysis machines from the ancients beeped. He looked over at it and felt his heart drop to his stomach. "This can't be right," he whispered as he began pressing buttons to retest the blood.

He ran the tests five more times, each time the same results showed up. His eyes moved to their little angel where he met her beautiful blue eyes, "oh Lauryn…you can't do this to your daddy…it'll kill him," Carson whispered.

As if she completely understood she slowly nodded her head and lifted her arms out to Carson. He instantly held her as she began to cry in his arms. Carson felt his own eyes beginning to water. He wished he could find strength but suddenly he wasn't sure if any of them would be able to find strength with this little one's problem.

o0o

He'd called a conference, Caldwell, Elizabeth, John, Ronan, Teyla, Laura, Rodney, Daniel, Sam and Heightmeyer were all surrounding the table. Carson's eyes moved to Daniel and Sam, they'd come with them after the trip home to Earth, they were supposed to be around for the next three months then head back home.

Taking a deep breath he looked at the sick toddler who was playing weakly with Rodney's watch as she curled in his lap. He'd given her something for pain to help calm her down, but that didn't stop the fear he felt every time he turned his gaze to her.

"So what's wrong?" John finally managed.

"Well…I ran the blood tests several times…and the results were conclusive. Lauryn's producing too many white blood cells…they're also called Solider cells…anyway the abnormal growth is causing crowding in her red blood cells and platelets…" he stopped and looked down…how do you tell a parent their child is dying.

"Wait a minute…" Heightmeyer spoke up, just before the light bulb clicked over Rodney's own head.

"Are you saying that Lauryn has leukemia?" Rodney spoke. He waited, dreading the head nod he knew was coming. Carson didn't let him down, seconds later Carson simply nodded his head sadly. Rodney felt his heart quicken, his stomach began to revolt rising to his throat and his eyes moved down to his sick little girl. She looked up at him with tired eyes. "Oh…" he felt tears begin to fill his eyes, he couldn't cry, he wouldn't cry.

"How is that possible…it's a human disease," Caldwell spoke up in confusion, his eyes on Rodney the entire time as the scientist continued to just watch his little girl.

"She has human DNA, and we're assuming that cancer is a human disease…anyone can have abnormal growth in their body. Those affected by the radiation of the Genii home world had abnormal growths."

"What are you going to do?" Elizabeth managed to pull the words from her suddenly tight chest as she gripped Rodney's forearm.

"We're going to treat her…we're not sure what type she has, most likely it's Acute lymphoblastic leukemia or ALL, it's common among children between two and five…it's also one of the most successfully treatable cancers out there. We'll give her radiation, chemo and as a last resort we'll try a bone marrow. Rodney, it's very possible she could pull out of this just fine…I just want you to be prepared."

"Prepared for what?" Rodney asked suddenly looking up at his best friend, "my daughter is dying!" he finally snapped and felt the tears begin to make their way down his cheeks, his eyes riveting on his daughter again.

"Why don't we leave for a few minutes," John whispered gently as he looked at Teyla. She nodded and helped get the other to agree to leave.

Carson looked at them for a moment before heading out of the room as well, leaving the family alone together. He stepped over to John, whose eyes were also a little glassy.

"What happens now? How can we help?" John asked.

"Be there for them; help them when or if they need someone. It's a long road they're headed down…I do believe Lauryn will live…she's a strong wee one, but they need as much rest as she will. I think perhaps, John, it would be best if Rodney took time from the team…Lauryn is going to need him and Rodney won't be much good if he worries about his daughter while he's out in the field. Teyla…perhaps you could help Elizabeth for awhile when you're not off world."

"Daniel and I would be more than willing to go off world for awhile to replace Rodney and Teyla," Sam offered.

John glanced over at Teyla, "I wish to help Elizabeth and Rodney as much as I can, but if you would prefer I remain on the team I certainly will," she stated.

"Could Colonel Carter help Elizabeth with running the city…I don't think Liz will need a lot of help, but I'm also sure that we need Teyla to continue coming with us, she knows most of the people we're visiting."

"I'm fine with that as well," Sam replied softly, she wanted to help.

"As long as they have help, aye that's fine."

o0o

Rodney curled his arms around his daughter, as he felt the tears coming fast, he was suddenly thankful of the privacy. Elizabeth leaned over and wrapped her arms around him. She pressed a kiss to his forehead and wrapped an arm around Lauryn, "We'll get through this, just like everything else," she whimpered softly as she allowed her own tears to begin falling down her cheeks.

"We should contact Farha," murmured Rodney as he began to rock his daughter gently.

"I'll do that, remember Rod, we're in this together…she's my daughter too," whispered Elizabeth.

Rodney smiled softly when Lauryn reached out for Elizabeth, "I doubt she'd let me forget," he rasped as he gently rubbed her back.

The door hissed open, and Carson stepped back in, looking at a complete loss for words, "I am so…sorry," he managed as he came over and knelt down beside the parents and his niece.

"So what happens now?" Rodney asked.

"She's going to have it rough for the next few days; I'm going to take some bone marrow, which is a very painful process as well as a spinal tap. I want to make positive on the diagnosis first. Then we'll begin the treatment. What we're looking to achieve is remission. Remission is a period in which the leukemia cells are destroyed replaced with healthy cells. It is done with high doses of powerful drugs given over 7 to 10 days. Then it takes several weeks for your body to start growing new blood cells. I'll keep Lauryn in the isolation room for the week, only you or Elizabeth will be allowed to stay with her…her immune system will be highly compromised at this time because she won't have the white cells to destroy any viruses she may come in contact with. We'll continue to do this for several weeks, hopefully in a month we'll be able to bring down the dosage and her body can start to regenerate her cells. She'll continue smaller doses for the next two or three years to keep the cells from returning. Rodney, Liz, the type of cancer she has, has the highest survival rate of all cancers. She's strong and was healthy before this. It's going to be a long road, but I think we can do this, we caught it early from the looks of it."

"All right then, when do we start?"

"We'll start the tests this afternoon…from there we're in it for the long haul. Daniel is temporarily going to take your position on the off world team, it wouldn't be the best idea to have you come from off world with any type of cotangent and risk her health."

"Right…okay," Rodney said nodding.

"I understand this is a lot to take in Rodney, so if ye need me to ever slow down, or ye need a break just ask…we're all in this for her," Carson offered.

"O…okay," he replied gently.

"Good man, come lad, let's get her to the infirmary and ready."

"I'll come with you," Elizabeth said standing.

o0o

"Okay hold the base of her neck and back, gently lad, don't want to hurt her, and right here under he knees. She's going to cry…it will hurt, I'm sorry lad," Carson whispered.

Rodney shook his head as he gently leaned down, putting his face in front of his daughter's. He wasn't prepared for the first cry in pain, as the child's face broke down and she began to try and fidget away from the large needle Carson was now trying to stick in her back.

Elizabeth reached out and gently began to caress Lauryn's head as the toddler continued to sniffle and whimper, "Its okay lass, its okay to cry," Carson whispered.

The needle slipped in further and she let out another cry of agony as she looked up at her daddy, "Daddy!" she cried, "Pwease," she cried.

"I know sweetie, I know, Dr. Carson is almost over," he whispered as he pressed his lips to her head as she continued to sob.

"Huwts!" the toddler cried out again.

"We know baby, we know," cooed Elizabeth gently as she and Rodney continued to hold their daughter still.

"Almost finished Lauryn, I promise lamb," he whimpered himself, tears filling his own eyes.

"Daddy," she whimpered again reaching a tiny free hand out, she grasped Rodney's forearm and he crumbled.

"I know honey, I know, I'm so sorry angel," he whispered through the haze of tears covering his face.

"There we go," Carson slowly withdrew the needle and looked at the parents, "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"We understand Carson," Elizabeth offered.

"She shouldn't be moved…but if you wish to hold her…be gentle," Carson offered.

Rodney nodded and moved his daughter, holding her like he had when she was just a little baby, cradling the crying toddler in his arms and rocking her back and forth gently, "Its okay, daddy's here now. I'm sorry baby…he had to do it, I know," he whispered.

o0o

Laura leaned against the door frame, watching her future husband slaving away in front of her computer. It didn't seem right anymore to want to plan her wedding. Not when they were all suddenly fighting for Lauryn's little life. John had gone to see Farha, maybe bring her back and see if there was anything they could do.

She smiled halfheartedly at the sight of Carson fast asleep, leaning on his hand, eyes closed. He looked semi peaceful, but she knew the truth. She'd been around him for the past few days since he'd learned about the leukemia. He was having just as hard a time with it as Elizabeth and Rodney were having.

She moved from the doorway to the isolation behind her. Elizabeth and Lauryn lay inside. Elizabeth slept soundly, holding her daughter tightly to her chest as though to protect her from the world. Rodney stood solemnly in front of the door, look lost and tired.

She reached out and gently squeezed his shoulder. She smiled as Rodney reached back, without looking, and grasped her hand in return. Laura came up to his side, watching the two sleep inside the room, "how ya holdin' up?" Laura asked softly.

"I've been better," he admitted looking at her.

"Have you eaten anything today?"

"Uh…" he paused, thinking about the past twenty-four hours…everything was beginning to meld together, "I had breakfast…and I think I had lunch…but honestly I don't remember," he mumbled.

"Come on, let's go get some dinner and a cup of coffee," Laura whispered gently pulling at his bicep.

Rodney willingly allowed Laura to drag him out of the infirmary. She sat him down in the mess hall, a plate of food in front of him, "I even scrounged up some blue Jell-O for you. I know it's your favorite. How's Elizabeth?"

"She's tired…we're both tired…the testing is over, Carson is positive this was caught in time and that it'll only take a month or two to send it into remission. He's not sure, but he thinks that if they can get it into remission soon it won't be back…" Rodney shrugged.

"You know Rodney, if she has your resolve; she'll pull through this just fine."

"Yeah…probably…it's just," he stopped shaking his head, "I can't believe I'm really about to tell you this…but I can't imagine my life without her, or Elizabeth anymore. I can't imagine Atlantis like it was before you ever got here. It's like we weren't whole until you and Lauryn came along…and now suddenly we're more a family than ever."

"Carson says the same thing," smiled Laura.

"He's a smart man…so soon-to-be Lieutenant Beckett…how are you holding up?"

Laura shrugged, "I'm okay--I'd be better if Carson would just let us tie the knot and get it over with. I don't want a big wedding…I don't really want a small wedding. I want him me, maybe you and Liz and a priest…that's it."

"And Carson wants friends and family?"

"Exactly…he doesn't see what I see; if we have this wedding back on Earth like he wants our parents will ask us questions, we can't tell them anything but we met through work. I don't want that…don't get me wrong I love my folks and they deserve to know, but they'd be happy just to know I'm happy, they don't need this wedding."

"You know usually it's the guy with this problem, not the girl," chuckled Rodney.

"Yeah I wear the pants in this relationship…didn't you notice…he wears the kilt," she mumbled.

Rodney's chuckle turned into a full strong laugh as he grinned at her, "you'll be fine…but seriously Laura, you need to talk to him, I'm not the most perceptive man on the face of this planet…or Earth even, but you know me well enough to know that I do know Carson. If you let him know you just want one wedding and you want it here…then he'll listen."

"But he should be happy too," Laura whined.

"He will be, trust me, Carson will be the most happy just married to you."

"I love him," she whispered smiling.

"I know…and God only knows why he loves you right back."

Laura grinned and reached out, squeezing the scientist's hand, "you're okay McKay."

Shrugging Rodney returned the grin and the squeeze, "Yeah…you're not so bad yourself Cadman, welcome to our family."

o0o

"If you could be anywhere…right now, here would you be?" Rodney asked quietly from Lauryn's side. He held one of her small hands in his.

Elizabeth sat on the child's other side, smiling softly as she held the other hand, "at home…with you and Lauryn…probably married…with my dog," she grinned.

"Dog? Really?"

"Yeah," she said smiling, "Sage," she replied.

"Cute…I always saw you as a cat person," he pointed out.

"Nope…well I mean I like cats but…dogs are fun."

"Only if they actually stay in the house," murmured Rodney.

"You'd deprive our children of a dog?" Elizabeth said rising an eyebrow.

"You wanna deprive them of a cat? They're loyal creatures," Rodney argued.

"So are dogs, and they're cuddly, cats don't like to cuddle, they like to be worshipped."

Rodney chuckled and shook his head, "dogs are simpletons, you throw a ball and they follow, my cat didn't have to crap in someone's yard, he had a box."

"Hey, Sage was as smart as your cat was."

"Uh huh," he mumbled. "We're getting a cat," stated Rodney.

"No way," Elizabeth smiled, "our kids should grow up with a dog!"

"Dogs would be so hard to care for here on Atlantis, at least with the cat it can survive in a small space, dogs have to be walked."

"Okay…hang on a second, you realize we're arguing about our kids and we only have one?" she smiled.

"Tell you what we'll get one of each," Rodney settled grinning.

"Oh…I think I can live with that… how many kids?"

"Three, of course."

"That'd be a handful…Lauryn isn't even biologically mine and she's a handful."

Elizabeth grinned and quickly returned, "Well one of them will eventually turn out to be more like me."

"Two boys and another girl?"

Elizabeth shrugged, "honey I'm afraid that's about as much my decision as it is yours. Unless you've got your little soldiers trained…I'll be happy as long as their healthy and happy."

Rodney nodded, "Yeah, guess so…wouldn't mind a couple boys and another little girl."

"William," Elizabeth spoke suddenly, "I've always wanted to name my eldest son William Henry."

"What about Keith, I think Keith Patrick is a great name….or Lucas Keith."

Elizabeth raised an eye brow as a smirk made its way across her face, "you've really thought about this?"

"Sure why not, I want kids as much as the next person."

"Okay…our first son we'll name Lucas Keith, I don't like the name Patrick…our second we'll name William Henry."

"And our girl?"

"Obviously the baby of the family," grinned Elizabeth, "Katherine."

"Elizabeth Katherine, we'll call her Bethie for short," grinned Rodney.

"You're joking right, you can't call her Bethie, she'd hate it."

"Just because you hate being called Bethie doesn't mean she will," Rodney returned.

"Yes it does."

"Then we keep Keith Patrick."

"Fine…we'll call her Bethie," mumbled Elizabeth as Rodney's face split into a prideful grin. "Should I start preparing for these children or do I have a few years?"

"I'd like to wait personally…we're still young," grinned Rodney.

"Not that young…and no more radiation…it'll be the end of any McKay juniors."

"I love you," Rodney whispered.

Elizabeth smiled softly and nodded, "love you too."

o0o

A week soon turned into a month, Lauryn's treatment was progressing beautifully. Carson was cautious, careful and precise, making sure she got everything she needed to remain one step ahead of the disease. He was also mindful of Elizabeth and Rodney, when to get them out of the room and when to have them in the room.

Farha had graciously donated some of her bone marrow for her little sister. Carson had every intention of transplanting the bone marrow to Lauryn when she got a little stronger. However, he also had a good feeling that everything would be fine.

Rodney sat quietly in his lab; he hadn't been in the labs much since Lauryn's diagnosis six weeks ago. He'd handed all responsibility over to Radek and Sam for further duration-it had been a long six weeks. He rubbed his forehead wearily as he stared down at the little black box that sat inches away.

"Hey…what are you doing down here?" John's voice broke him from his reverie. He glanced up at his brother, and shrugged.

"Thinkin'," he whispered.

"You okay?" John asked as he took a seat beside his brother.

"Yes and No…it's been a bad day," whispered Rodney as he slowly opened the box.

"Been thinking about proposing again?" John eyed his brother carefully, gauging his emotions and thoughts.

"This whole thing with the Leukemia…and such…it's really got me thinking…she wants three kids," Rodney smiled suddenly at the thought of having three beautiful kids with her, "I told her I wasn't ready yet…"

"And suddenly you're thinking maybe you are ready?" John guessed.

"Yeah…I'm thinking I am," Rodney replied nodding, "Truthfully John? I've been thinking a lot about mortality…lets face it, we've only got so many lives before we die…I want to spend however many I have left with Elizabeth…"

"Any ideas on when or how you want to do it?"

"Carson and Laura are getting married on the mainland in about two weeks…they're heading back to earth in another month or so to get married…I thought maybe I could propose to Elizabeth shortly before we headed back to earth…"

"Sounds like a good idea to me. You know Rodney, Lauryn is doing beautifully. I just spoke to Carson, he's fairly sure a little longer on this regiment and the cancer will be in remission…"

"Yeah…we beat it…that's what he told me, we've got this thing beat."

"You sure you're okay?"

"When Liz's mom died, she didn't feel anything, she wasn't scared she didn't really cry until the funeral was finally over. I just remember her being in an almost trance like state through the whole thing…then suddenly she snapped and started to cry."

John didn't speak, he knew Rodney needed to talk, and he was fairly sure what Rodney would say, so he just watched his brother for a moment, eyeing the scientist with compassion in his eyes.

"We've spent countless nights talking, either over Lauryn's bed or in our own bed…she's cried, sobbed, yelled and screamed. She's let out all the feelings she pent up. I haven't cried….well not really…I haven't felt anything. I've been there, holding hands, taking softly and just supporting them…I think if I start crying…I might lose it," Rodney finally managed to look at his brother.

"It's okay to lose it, you've been through the ringer, come here buddy," reaching out John pulled his brother into his arms. "I'm here Rod, you're not alone." Seconds later John was clutching his brother as Rodney finally let go of all his pent up fears and anger. He murmured softly to his brother, like their father had all those years ago after Rodney's nightmares. He'd be there for as long as Rodney needed him. That's what brothers and friends were for.

o0o

Elizabeth sat behind Lauryn on the bed; the little girl giggled as she colored another one of the books Carson had gotten for her while on Earth. Carson had smiled, "The cancer looks to be in remission," he'd explained earlier. Lauryn had survived chemo therapy, was doing much better, and had all her hair; it truly looked like she would be okay.

"Here's some more vitamins and medicine to help keep her healthy…obviously every month she'll need a treatment to keep it at bay…this will continue for about five months."

"When can she come back to our rooms?" Elizabeth asked.

"Tomorrow, maybe the day after; she's done very well, and she's been very brave," Carson whispered pressing a kiss to Lauryn's forehead.

Elizabeth looked up at the doorway to see Rodney and John walking in. She didn't comment that Rodney looked like he'd just gone through the ringer and that his normally beautiful blue eyes were blood shot and swollen, that his face was paler than usual. She just offered him a warm smile as he moved over to the bed and pressed a kiss to her lips. "We'll leave you two alone, come on Carson…we've got some plans to make," John offered his other best friend.

"Are you okay?" Elizabeth asked after the two men were gone.

"I'll be fine…how's our girl?" Rodney asked as he pressed a kiss to her cheek.

"She's doing well…Carson says she can come home soon…and she's done with the weekly chemo."

"Excellent…it was harder than I could have imagined to sit here watching her suffer in this bed, to know she was fighting for her life."

"Can I tell you something?" Elizabeth asked suddenly.

"Of course," Rodney replied with a nod.

"I've never love anyone or anything as much as I love you and Lauryn…I didn't think it was possible to love anyone as though they were your own child. Lauryn being sick made me realize that even if I didn't give birth to her she's my little baby girl and I adore her…she is my daughter in every sense of the word…Rodney, I'd like to sign those papers too."

Rodney grinned, "I think we can take care of that, I love you Elizabeth," he whispered leaning forward pressing a kiss to her lips.

Lauryn looked up at them with wide eyes and grinned, starting to clap loudly, causing both parents to pull apart with a chuckle, "we love you too angel," Rodney whispered as they both leaned down and pressed kisses to her cheeks, causing her to let out a squeal of joy.


	74. Always With You

Author's Note: Final chapter up tomorrow please, if you haven't already,let me know by the 18th if you're interested in reading the next series Saving Grace: Northern Star. Please send me your email so I can send it to you! Thanks everyone for all your wonderful support over the past year, I can't believe it's been a year and most of all I'm so proud of this series, it's been...well it's been my Saving Grace.

Chapter Seventy-Four: Always With You

Taking a deep breath he stepped through the doorway, all the heads swiveled on him; no one ran, no one cried, smiles lit the faces of every single person within the lab, until finally Radek began clapping. One month, two weeks, a day and three hours since he'd handed over his position as CSO to Zelenka.

One month, two weeks, a day and twelve hours since everyone had heard about Lauryn's leukemia, and just as much time everyone spent wanting their snarky scientist back. Lieutenant Colonel Sam Carter stood in the back of the lab smiling as Rodney received his warm welcome back. It was obvious people respected him here; maybe Rodney had finally come to a spot in his life where he was comfortable.

"Welcome back Rodney," Radek said as he shook his friend's hand.

"Thanks Radek…and thank you for taking over the department, you've done well. So…what have we got?" he asked.

Within an hour Rodney was back to being pushy, snarky and loud, but everyone handled it with the grace they were used to. Understanding he wished to bring normalcy back to a life that had recently been turned upside down.

"Oh, Colonel," Rodney called out to her, beckoning her over with a wave of his hand, "I thought you'd like to know, we're going on a mission tomorrow to check on some allies we've made earlier this year…. Now there's not going to be much excitement probably, but it might be fun and interesting to check it out if you'd like…they're fairly advanced and they're good honest people…Elizabeth thought you and Daniel might like to join us. Ronan is going to visit another world to help out there…with Major Lorne's team, so there will be an extra spot."

"I'd love to," Sam replied smiling.

"Excellent, we leave around nine," he said grinning softly at her.

o0o

It was movie night, a family night of sorts, JJ and Lauryn chose to join the group this evening and they stuck the Lion King in for the kid's enjoyment. Although as Elizabeth sat there watching her men smile and laugh or frown at each scene, she was fairly sure they were enjoying it as much as the kids.

Lauryn sat between Rodney and Elizabeth, where they were parked on the couch, at the other end was Carson and Laura. JJ was sprawled on his stomach, in front of the TV on the floor, looking as if he were in heaven.

John sat beside Teyla on the floor, Sam and Daniel each took up a chair. Heightmeyer and Zelenka had even chosen to join this time. Which caused a smile to cross Elizabeth's lips; she'd heard rumors that the two doctors were spending more and more time with each other. She hoped it was true, she'd spoken to Kate before about Radek; she seemed to enjoy the Czech company.

Sighing she curled against Rodney's side, leaning her head against his shoulder and closing her eyes; she grinned as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. Rodney took a hold of her, smiling as he glanced down at the left ring finger, "Whatcha lookin' at?" slurred Elizabeth as she relaxed further against him.

"I'm visualizing a certain ring I bought awhile back on this finger."

"Oh…and will I like said ring?" she asked giggling quietly as the others continued to watch their movie

"It's from me, how could you not…you'll love it…"

"I can't wait."

"Okay you two," came Carson's mumble from the other end of the couch, causing the two love birds to quit their talking, simply grinning at one another.

o0o

They stepped out of the wormhole early the next morning, and were rapidly greeted by Matree, "greetings my friends. Dr. McKay, it is good to see you are well," the man spoke as he vigorously shook the scientist's hand.

"Thank you Matree, it's nice to be alive. Oh, Matree, these are our friends Colonel Samantha Carter, and Dr. Daniel Jackson. They're studying some ancient while on Atlantis and they heard about your planet and wished to come see it…maybe study in some of your labs for a day?"

"That would be wonderful, Dr. McKay can show you around, you have been here several times," grinned Matree.

"Of course, thank you Matree. John?" Rodney turned to his brother.

"Meet back here by 17:00 hours, if you need anything just leave your comm. open," John offered, "Teyla and I are going to be looking at some of the wood we'll be collecting as well as debriefing Matree on the various different medical supplies he'll be getting in the next cycle. We also wanted to speak with him about education…are you still interested in that idea?"

"Yeah…Elizabeth more so than me, so make sure you get that conversation in. We'll see you at five," Rodney led Daniel and Sam off in one direction, while John, Teyla and Matree headed off in the other.

o0o

"This is absolutely amazing," Sam whispered as she looked at all the different books, Rodney had led her to a library in the science labs, leaving Daniel behind in an area of the building for ancient artifacts. "They can't be far behind us in technology…" she whispered as she ran her hands over books, studying some of the titles. She slipped one off the shelf and opened it.

"They've got quantum physics, astrophysics, biochemistry…I think Carson said molecular biology…yeah….they're pretty advanced, they've got computers that run faster than ours…they don't have the internet yet. But give it a few years; they've already got a form of telephone."

"How long have you guys known these people?"

"Uh…four, maybe five months or so; they're good honest people. We helped them out awhile back…they've been more than willing to allow us do research or study things, in exchange we've given them the technology to build ventilators, defibrillators other various medical equipment, we've also vaccinated them will all the different types of illness…Carson didn't want us to give them anything or visa versa. They're helping the people on the mainland begin to build houses and buildings…it's a fairly symbiotic relationship," Rodney stated as he looked at one of the books.

"How often are you here?"

"Uh…this would be the ninth or tenth visit, generally for a few hours at a time…Matree is working with me to set up a type of education program…since Atlantis is beginning to think about…well pairing up and eventually we might have children we didn't want to have to send them to Earth for education…and most of us have jobs…we thought there was another way. Right now we have it working so that the kids would spend two days a week on the mainland, learning survival techniques, then two days they'd spend here learning about the Atlantis and Ancient culture from other's perspectives…then they spend one day a week with any choice from Atlantis and kind of follow them around."

"Wow…you guys are pretty far ahead."

"Not really…JJ will be the first one to really start testing the system in the next several months or so. He already spends a good deal of time on the mainland. He likes the people there…he's made a lot of good friends, sadly he's become friends with a boy named Jinto…who is quite good at finding trouble, so you can imagine."

"Like his father I imagine," grinned Sam.

"Probably…he's also made friends with other kids on another planet we visit every month or so…so he's happy."

"Well that's good, when would you normally start the kids in the education system?"

"Six or seven probably…JJ isn't fond of going through the wormhole, he thinks it feels funny…but Lauryn doesn't mind, so we've decided to wait until the kids are slightly older. They'll get all education they need before that. Lauryn can already speak two languages, JJ's working on his second or third, so it's not like they're dumb."

"Sounds like you're taking all precautions to make sure the children of Atlantis can do it all."

"We're hoping most will desire to stay on Atlantis with their parents, or go to the mainland and live out their lives, but we're willing to accept some may want to go other places. They're good kids Colonel…well at least ours are, few more years and hopefully Atlantis will have a few more kids."

"Is everyone in Atlantis hooking up?" Sam asked slightly surprised.

"Oh no, no….not by a long shot," laughed Rodney, "No…actually Carson and Laura will be our first married couple on Atlantis. There are a few others beginning to see each other…I've heard rumors about some of my scientists hooking up with some of the military people…which is odd. Strangely enough most of the military guys have found girls in the medical or science side of Atlantis to date. But no, there are probably about eight to ten couples in Atlantis just dating and seeing one another. I think people are finally beginning to believe we could win the war against the Wraith, and feel we have more time to get to know one another."

"You feel comfortable here?"

"Are you kidding me?" Rodney asked laughing, "I couldn't be happier anywhere else. I'm playing out my childhood dream. I get to travel through the stars; I'm in a completely different galaxy. I love it here."

"That's good, I'm glad you're happy Rodney," Sam said grinning over at her friend.

Rodney returned the smile, he opened his mouth to say something, but it quickly snapped closed when the ground began to shake. "What the hell," he whispered as it continued to rapidly shake. "Get in the door way!" he yelled to Sam before the lights suddenly blacked out.

The room was dark, Rodney heard a loud crash, a cry of pain before he felt something crash down upon him and blackness envelope him.

o0o

"Everyone okay?" John called as he slowly stood to his feet, looking around at the damage the quake had caused.

"I'm all right," replied Teyla as she slowly lifted herself from the ground and moved towards John.

John instantly put his arm around her, both to protect her further and to check for injuries. He looked around and saw Matree beginning to stand. "Are you both all right?" asked Matree.

John nodded, "we'll be fine, are you're people all alive?" he asked as he glanced at the others who were just beginning to stand. It had been a disturbingly large quake, he easily guess an eight or nine on the Richter scale. He'd only ever read about the large quakes in books back on earth. They'd been through a few in California but never worse than fives. Part of him was thankful they'd been outside when it had occurred, the worst it did was knock everyone to their feet. However, he was concerned about his brother, Daniel, the Colonel and other people of the planet.

"Matree, do you have these tremors often?" John asked in fear.

"No," the man answered honestly, "This was the first…perhaps we should get into town…I wish to check in on my people, certainly you do as well."

"Yes, let's go," John responded. They began to move in the direction of the city when his comm. chirped. "Sheppard, go ahead," he spoke firmly.

"This is Jackson…I'm in the artifacts part of the museums and libraries. I'm fine…what was that?"

"An earthquake…sorta," John replied.

"The lights are out here…there were a few other people in here with me. I think they may be hurt. McKay and Sam weren't with me Colonel."

"Thank you Dr. Jackson, keep me informed…and Jackson, try to get out of their before the place comes down on your head," John commanded.

"Will do."

"Jackson…keep an eye out for McKay or Colonel Carter." John tried not to let the worry about his brother suddenly creep up in his voice. He looked over at Teyla; he could tell she was a little worried already as well.

Teyla tapped her own comm. quickly, "Dr. McKay?" she spoke. She glanced over at John, "Rodney, this is Teyla, can you hear me?" she spoke into the head piece. "Rodney thi…." she stopped in mid sentence.

In front of them various parts of the city seemed to lie in rubble. It was unreal, buildings were or had fallen in the tremor, and people were running around in the streets, some bleeding, others were on the ground screaming for help. There were a few people attempting to help other people. The only thing standing was the Stargate and the DHD. Smoke was billowing into the sky from one of the buildings. Teyla felt her heart plummet at the sight, "Rodney," she began again softly as the two men by her side just continued to stare; "Can you hear me."

o0o

The first sensation was the inability to breathe deeply; Rodney groaned as he slowly rolled over onto his back, groaning as every muscle in his bruised and abused body screamed in pain. On his back he tried to take another deep breath and found himself still unable to draw in any air that didn't seem thick and heavy.

He slowly pried his eyes open in annoyance, the room was scarcely lit by what he could only guess were supposed to be emergency lights on two of the four walls. Dust and smoke was beginning to rise from around him. "_Rodney…Can you hear me?"_ a voice spoke in his ear.

He quickly tapped the comm., "Teyla…" he gagged for a moment as smoke continued to fill the room and burn at his nose, and "This is McKay…what happened?" He slowly sat up, deciding if he could move his arms he could try and move everything else.

He got to his feet after about five minutes, all the while listening to Teyla explaining the massive quake they'd just suffered. He looked around at the damage and was suddenly surprised the entire building hadn't been leveled with the force she was describing. There were parts of the ceiling lying on the floor, shelves, books, debris from all over the room scattering the dusty unseen floor at this point. "Are you and John okay?" Rodney finally asked when Teyla was finished.

He groaned as he bent down to lift something off the floor, pain stabbed through his chest, "damn," he murmured.

_"We are well…what's wrong?"_

"I think I've got a busted rib…Daniel?"

_"Dr. Jackson is fine it seems…where are you Rodney?"_

"We're in the scientific library in the lower part of the science labs and artifacts museum," Rodney paused, suddenly realizing something, "Sam!" he hissed.

He began to search, calling out to her, "Where are you!" Rodney cried. Beginning to move things, he was rewarded with a groan moments later, followed closely by a loud cry of pain.

"Where are you?" he asked as he moved closer to the sound.

"Rodney?" came the weak murmur.

Rodney found her buried halfway under a pile of books, pinned beneath a book shelf. He grimaced, knowing the shelf was obviously heavy as it lay across on of her legs. He quickly cleared everything away from her face, chest and stomach, until the only thing remaining on her was the shelf, "Teyla?"

_"I am here Rodney."_

"Good…stay with me…I found Colonel Carter, she's pinned under a book shelf…it's a pretty good bet her leg is broken…"

_"We will try and get to you as soon as possible…Colonel Sheppard is trying to make contact with Atlantis as we speak to get back up…do you wish me to beckon Dr. Beckett?"_

"That would be a very good idea…Teyla, don't let Elizabeth come through…it may not be stable…get Zelenka to run some tests on the atmosphere…try to figure out why we suddenly had an earth quake…and…ah…Dr….Dr…Dillamond….he's that new scientists in from California…he's a seismologist among other things, get him here."

_"Very well, do you need anything else?"_

"To get out of here would be nice…but just get us out of here as soon as you can…"

_"I will, I shall stay in contact Rodney."_

"Thanks, McKay out," he left the comm. on, not wanting to lose contact with the link outside. He slowly knelt down beside Sam's head, and began to feel for broken bones or serious injuries. Once finding only bruises on her upper body he moved to her good leg, it was fine, he looked at the large book case and shook his head, it'd be a miracle if she came away with her whole leg after this. He looked at the shelf for a moment, trying to judge the weight before trying to move it.

Taking a deep breath he crouched down with his knees and placed both hands under the shelf. With three deliberate slow counts he heft the shelf up and off Sam's leg, letting out a cry of pain as he took on the weight then dropped it far enough away from them both. Dropping it he slipped to the ground weakly. Sweat and tears began to trail down his face as he took slow shallow breaths, trying to control the pain searing through his now broken ribs.

"_Rodney_?" came John's voice.

"I'm…okay," Rodney managed to mumble as he bit back another surge of pain.

"You don't sound okay…"

"Really…fine…Atlantis?"

"_We're here Rodney_," Elizabeth's voice broke over his comm.

Rodney felt a wave of relief flood over him, knowing that the gate wasn't damaged. He sighed, "hey you," he mumbled softly.

_"Hey yourself…are you really okay?"_

"Uh…no…probably a broken rib or two…nothin' unusual though…Sam's with me, she's got a broken leg for sure…not sure how badly yet…" he took another slow breath.

"_Rodney_?"

"I'm still here…Liz…trying to ride out the pain…I'm going to check on Sam, I'll get back to you…did you get my…"

_"Dr. Dillamond, Carson and Radek are already on their way…how ya doin' now?"_

"Better…Sam's leg seems to be a clean break in what feels like the fibula…"

_"Set it if ye can lad…get it wrapped in a splint as soon as ye can Rod," _Carson's voice broke over the radio.

"I can do that…I don't have anything to give her for the pain."

_"She'll be fine Rodney, she's a tough lass."_

Rodney took a deep breath and looked at her eyes as the slowly fluttered open, "No Sam," he whispered, "stay asleep…it'll hurt less."

"Rodney?"

"Hey…listen Sam, your leg is broken….I can set it, but it's going to hurt," he told her gently as he squeezed her arm.

"What happened?"

"We got caught here in an earth quake…well a quake from another planet actually. Sam, I'm going to set this leg, it's going to hurt…" he waited calmly for her to comply.

"O…okay," she finally replied softly.

"Okay Carson…I'm about to set it," he spoke through his comm. With a deep breath he took a hold of her leg. With a jerk, Sam let out a cry of pain as it slipped back into place, "I'm sorry Sam, so sorry," he replied gently as he brushed the bangs from her eyes.

_"Is it straight Rodney?"_

"Yeah…we've got wood, but I don't have anything to tie them together."

_"Just do ye're best Rod."_

o0o

John sighed as he looked at Carson, as the doctor stepped through the wormhole. "Welcome to the planet Carson…they're taking care of the most serious patients in the hospital…"

"All right…lets move some of them to Atlantis, we'll be happy to help them," Carson directed quickly. "Have ye found Dr. Jackson, Colonel Carter or Rodney?"

"Not yet Carson, we've spoken to Rodney for sometime after you finished talking to him. He got the leg splinted, he says Sam's coherent but in pain. Rodney is also fairly sure he has a concussion…"

"Did ye tell him to stay awake?"

"Yeah…he and Sam are talking to help each other stay awake. I'm heading over to the building their supposed to be stuck in to try and help dig them out…if you'd like to join me."

"Aye…let's go."

o0o

"So…where did you learn how to fix a leg like this?" Sam questioned, grimacing slightly as her leg jolted again.

"Carson taught us. We were spent nearly a year on the Antarctica base when someone broke his leg by accident…no one knew what to do and Carson couldn't get there right away…after they discharged the guy from service, Carson demanded we all learn how to set and splint broken limbs."

"I'm surprised you even went to the lesson," laughed Sam.

"He made me, he made it completely mandatory…said he wouldn't pass any of us for our next physical if we didn't at least attend and make some attempt. He did a very good job teaching the class, we all came out with something…then when we got here, a few weeks after arriving one of our Athosian friends fell and broke his leg. It was one of my scientists that set the leg and splinted it."

"Gee McKay you sound like your proud of your people," Sam chuckled, she couldn't imagine Rodney being proud of anyone. Rodney had changed a lot in the two and a half years they'd been on Atlantis. She was no longer looking at the same man she'd been so annoyed by four years ago.

"I'm very proud of my people, I'm very proud of everyone under my command. Most of them are really good people," he replied softly.

"Do you ever actually tell them that?"

"Probably not often enough, but I have some image to uphold…granted Lauryn seems to have deflated most of my tough bastard image. Somehow the sight of a two year old giggling on my shoulder proves that I'm not much of an asshole," he laughed softly.

"So you and Elizabeth?" Sam questioned while she moved a little, repositioning her head on the jacket he'd given to her for a pillow.

Rodney smiled; he sat against on of the walls, right beside her, his head leaning against the wall, obviously hurting from the grimace on his face as it was. He shrugged suddenly, "yeah, me and Elizabeth."

"She doesn't seem your type."

"She's probably not…but neither are you Sam, let's face it. Elizabeth looked at me in a way no one ever looked at me. She brought me back down to reality…and I helped her realize just because she's a leader, doesn't mean she's alone. We've helped one another mutually. Eventually…a friendship turned to romantic feels….eventually to love. I love her," he whispered his eyes suddenly glossing over slightly.

"You want to marry her?"

"Yeah," he chuckled softly, "yeah I do…"

"Then you should…" those words caught Rodney's attention, he met Sam's equally blue eyes, "Jack and I spent years avoiding our feelings because we thought our job was more important. But…I look back at it now Rodney and I realize we could be married and have children by now. Maybe one day we still can, but I'm going to be in a few more years. Don't waste any more time than you have to Rodney, I don't know why we don't tell people how we feel when we have the chance. Waiting is no better."

"You're smart Sam…I know I always said I was smarter…and maybe I am…but you're by far wiser than me. You always have been; you've lived through more."

"You have something I may never have Rodney, and for that you're lucky, you have someone who will love you until the day you die and is willing to put everything aside to be with you. You have a daughter who loves you."

"Yes I do, I have everything I could ever really ask for. I've got a brother who loves me and watches over me, I've got a best friend who will always be there for me…I've got a great nephew. I've got a wonderful family.

o0o

John looked at the door way and felt his stomach tighten in a knot, "Rodney…this is John, can you hear me?"

_"We're here John."_

"We're right outside the door. Where are you guys in the room?"

_"Opposite wall of the door."_

"Good, I'm going to try and clear some of the rubble away from the door by blasting it away hopefully it won't bring the whole damn building down on top of us."

_"We'll be here waiting."_

"Good. Carson will be here with a stretcher, how are you doing Rod?"

_"Sam and I are hangin' in here John, but you need to hurry. Sam may go into shock soon."_

"Just keep hanging in there buddy, we'll get you out of there."

John looked over at Teyla and nodded, "Let's get this place lighted up," directed John.

o0o

"Incoming Wormhole," called Brendon from where he sat by the controls. "It's Colonel Sheppard," the tech explained as Elizabeth hurried over.

"Let them in," she commanded. She looked down and felt a grin grace her face as she watched Daniel, John and Teyla step through the wormhole. She searched for him, seconds later; Carson and his medics came walking into the gate room, followed closely by Rodney. She ran down the stairs, hurrying towards him.

A grin split Rodney's dirt covered face as he held out his arms grabbing her and hugging her for all she was worth, pressing his cheek against her's.

Elizabeth chuckled as she wrapped her arms around his neck and held him close, weary of his bruises he probably had. She pressed a kiss to his cheek and finally pulled away, smiling up at him. "Are you okay?" she asked softly, looking his body once over.

"Nothing I haven't had before. Carson says I probably have a broken rib or two. Nothing I can't handle, maybe you'd like to help me get to the infirmary?"

"I'd be happy to."

By the time Elizabeth and Rodney managed to get to the infirmary, Sam was already lying on a bed, sleeping in a drug induced rest. Carson was carefully placing a gauze pad over Daniel's left eye. He looked over just in time to see Elizabeth escorting Rodney into the room. "Have a seat lad; I'll be right with ye."

Elizabeth helped Rodney sit on one of the beds, as he grimaced, gripping his ribs, "don't worry, I'll be fine."

"Aye he will be," Carson said coming over to reassure them and care for McKay. "He's got two cracked ribs and a few pulled muscles, nothing he can't handle. I'm just going to give ye something for the pain and let ye go home…I don't doubt ye'll feel better have a nice warm shower. Come back here after the shower and I'll wrap ye up."

"Thanks Carson…Liz, could you be ready by eight in your finest dress?" Rodney suddenly asked her.

"Uh…" she looked at him, completely surprised and smiled, "Yes, of course."

"I'll go get you the medicine, if ye'd like to wait."

"Liz, could you wait outside for a moment?"

"Sure, I'll be waiting for you sweetheart," she pressed a kiss to his cheek.

Carson returned a few minutes later with the medicine, "It's a low dose of morphine, shouldn't knock ye out. And I assume you wanted this as well?" Carson grinned as he handed off a small velvet box.

"Yes, thank you…you're good my friend, very good."

"Need any help lad?"

"Yes, actually, I've got a few things I could use you, John, Teyla and Laura's help with."

o0o

Rodney took a deep breath: they had this perfected, with candles, a gorgeous dinner and everything, there would be music, he was sure he'd though of everything, Carson had even brought back a fine aged bottle of wine from Scotland just for them.

He'd taken his shower; Carson had wrapped his ribs, and then helped him get into one of his nicer dress pants and shirts. He looked ready to finally propose. Taking deep breath he reached out and knocked on the door. He couldn't help but find it odd how nervous he was. He'd known Elizabeth for nearly four years. He'd never been more in love with any woman in most of his life. Yet it had been the past twelve hours spent with a completely different woman that propelled Rodney to finally decide it was time to ask her to marry him.

He would always care for Sam, a part of him would always feel something towards her, and however he was well aware that he would never have her…besides as much as he cared for her. He was hopelessly in love with Elizabeth. He was ready to marry her.

Lauryn was in Carson and Laura's care, he'd ditched his radio back in his room, essentially the only people who really knew where the couple would be this evening; were Carson, Laura, Teyla and John and of course Lauryn.

The door slid open and he barely recognized the woman standing before him, she stood there, in beautiful high black heels, her dress was stunning, it was about an inch off the floor, it was obviously a one piece, leaving little to the imagination, it dipped just below her collar bone and sank down in the back just below her shoulder blades, her hair, which she had grown out a little more, fell at her shoulders, brushing the slightly freckled shoulders ever so lightly, the dress was a beautiful deep jade green color, bringing out Elizabeth's eyes.

"Wow…" he whispered, unsure what else he could say to describe how he felt about the woman standing before him.

"You look good Rodney," she said fondly.

Grinning, he quickly offered her his arm, and together the two made it to the pier, their favorite spot. They had spoken so often at the East pier, talked, cried, yelled at one another. Cried for one another, so many emotions to go through. Rodney couldn't imagine anyone he would have rather gone through all this with that Elizabeth.

The stars were out and brightly shining as mot of the city began to sleep. A small table sat in the middle of the balcony, a single red rose sat in a small vase, and candle lights surrounding them.

"You certainly went all out," smiled Elizabeth, as she felt a blush reach her cheeks. She'd been surprised when ten minutes after Carson released him from the infirmary with instructions for rest and relaxation, Rodney had told her to get dressed in her finest dress.

"I had help," smiled Rodney.

"How sweet of everyone…" she replied blushing. She had an idea of what he planned on tonight, she held her breath, praying tonight would be their night.

"Yes, well…shall we eat?"

Rodney was patient, he had the perfect moment picked out, so when the music had started in the background he knew his moment had finally come, he looked at Elizabeth and smiled, "Can I have this dance?" he asked.

"Of course," she replied, surprised to hear a song she'd never heard before come on over the system.

_The bar was empty  
I was sweeping up the floor  
That's when she walked in  
I said, "I'm sorry but we're closed"  
And she said "I know,  
But I'm afraid I left my purse"  
I said, "I put one back behind the bar  
I bet it's probably yours"  
And the next thing that I knew  
There we were, lost in conversation  
And before I handed her purse  
I said, "You'll only get this back on one condition"_

Rodney pulled her close for a moment, swaying with her to the music, and then finally taking a deep breath he pushed her away, grasping her hands tightly in his own.

_And we danced  
Out there on that empty hardwood floor  
The chairs up and the lights turned way down low  
The music played, we held each other close  
And we danced_

_And from that moment  
There was never any doubt  
I had found the one  
That I had always dreamed about  
And then one evenin'  
_

"Eliza…" he began but paused, "I…would…Um…What I mean to say…Elizabeth…"

"Rodney, honey slow down and breathe…"

_When she stopped by after work  
I pulled a diamond ring out of the pocket of my shirt  
And as her eyes filled up with tears  
She said, "This is the last thing I expected"  
And then she took me by the hand  
And said, "I'll only marry you on one condition"_

Rodney took one deep breath, and then suddenly, stilling grasping her hands, he took a knee, and looked up at her with all the adoration in the world. "I have…never ever, in all of my life loved anyone as much as I love you. You've made me a better person, a stronger person…a less arrogant man…you've brought me hope, you've brought my little girl something I couldn't give her. Elizabeth Weir, I love you with all my heart and soul…you had me at hello, would you marry me?"

Elizabeth half laughed, half cried as she pressed her hand to her lips, she could feel the tears beginning to pour down her cheeks; she gently cupped his face, pulling him up and pressing a kiss to his beautiful lips.

Rodney suddenly pulled away, "is that a yes?" He asked grinning.

Elizabeth let out a loud laugh as she hugged him tightly around the neck, "yes Rodney, yes I would love to marry you!" she cried into his shoulder.

Rodney smiled as he wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her back, he could feel his own tears beginning to run down his cheeks. He pulled her close again, swaying with her to the music and smiled.

_And we danced  
Out there on that empty hardwood floor  
The chairs up and the lights turned way down low  
The music played, we held each other close  
And we danced  
Like no one else had ever danced before  
I can't explain what happened on that floor  
But the music played  
We held each other close  
And we danced  
Yeah, we danced_

o0o

Rodney slipped into the room with a smile on his face as he looked at Elizabeth, now dressed in pajama bottoms and a t-shirt; she sat on the couch, her hand out in front of her, unable to pull her eyes from the beautiful ring he'd bought her.

"I'm glad you like it," he whispered as he sat down beside her. It was a beautiful ring, white gold, small, simple but by no means cheap. It was ¼ karat diamond in between two smaller diamonds. She leaned her head against his shoulder, curling into his arms and grinned.

"I'm going to be Dr. McKay," she laughed.

"Oh God, how will they ever handle two of us," he grinned as he gripped her hand and pressed a kiss to her lips, "three actually…Lauryn's going to be a Dr. McKay one day."

"I love you," she whispered.

"I'm glad," he chuckled, "I love you too Liz, and I'm glad you like the ring. We'll have to pick out our wedding rings when we come back for Carson's wedding.

"I don't really want a wedding back home…I mean to make it legal on earth of course, but I'd like an Athosian one more."

"Then we'll have an Athosian wedding…"

"I'd like to get married soon," she whispered.

"I'll talk to Teyla tomorrow about ceremonies. Maybe we can be married as early as next week."

"Can you believe it," she spoke suddenly, "we're going to spend the rest of our lives together…this is a totally new beginning for us," she whispered

"Just another beginning…Dr. Elizabeth McKay," he grinned as he pressed his lips to her's again.


	75. Darkest Hour

Author's Note: One year and two days later I've finally posted the final chapter, I'm glad you've all enjoyed this story so very much. The first chapter will be sent out to everyone on August 19th, 2006. If the response to the first couple chapters is good then I will plan to post the sequal here by early September. Thank you again for all the reviews it's been a fun ride!

Chapter Seventy-Five: Darkest Hour

She stepped out onto the balcony, crossing her arms over her chest, protecting her body from the chill of the night. The city was lit in public places, but many of the personal quarters were dark. However even the beauty of the city couldn't draw her attention away from the beautiful ring on her left finger. A grin spread across her face yet again, for the millionth time in two days. It was a beautiful ring, one large diamond sat in between two smaller rings, which were surrounded by three tiny stones etched into the ring. Rodney said it was called a past, present and future ring. Each diamond stood for one of the three. He'd also said that the three diamonds could stand for the three children they'd have some day.

They'd chosen to celebrate with their friends the night after getting engaged, instead of that night. They'd left Lauryn in Carson and Laura's care for that night, and took it all to themselves to just enjoy one another's company.

It all seemed surreal to her, unable to believe that she'd found the man she wanted to spend forever with. That he wanted to spend forever with her just as much, that he'd asked her…and that she'd said yes. She was going to be Dr. Elizabeth Weir McKay. She hadn't decided for sure if she was going to hyphen her name, or just change it all together.

She grinned, turning around she silently stepped back into the room and chuckled, Rodney lay in his bed sprawled out on his stomach, an arm dangling over the edge, the other above his head hiding under the pillow. One bare leg hung out from under the sheet. She shook her head; this was why she was marrying him. For every ounce that Rodney was rude, annoying, bad with people and sarcastic…he was sweet, gentle, kind, loving, a daunting parent, and an amazing friend. He cared about those he loved like no other.

They were going to make it official, and soon they could have their night, spend their night together without feeling any guilt or fear about it. She sighed, and slid back under the covers on her side, she was surprised, but comforted when she felt the bed shift, and felt him scoot up behind her, curling around her protectively. There was no question in her mind, Rodney loved her. She felt a kiss pressed to the back of her head then felt his breath even out.

o0o

"You know Elizabeth, it's not like the ring is going anywhere," John mumbled the next morning as she stared thoughtfully.

Elizabeth went red and grinned, John hadn't been the first to say it, and both Carson and Rodney had commented on how often she tended to look down at her ring, as though making sure it was still present on her finger. "I know," Elizabeth replied as she looked down at it one final time, before slipping her hands under the table.

Rodney grinned through his mouthful, "Let her look; just means I did a good job picking the ring."

"I guarantee you put a ring on ye're lass' finger and she'd be grinning just like Elizabeth and Laura," Carson muttered between a drink of his coffee and a bite of his bagel.

"I don't have lass…Carson," John replied blankly.

"What do you call Teyla?" returned Carson.

"A friend…" his voice trailed off, causing his three friends to roll their eyes.

"Speaking of which, where is our beautiful Athosian?" Rodney spoke up.

"She left for the mainland last night, some big harvest ceremony…felt she had to be there," replied John.

"She'll be back in a day or two, meanwhile Ronan is visiting his sister, grounding Atlantis' number one team for the next couple days, so welcome to a lovely vacation Rodney," Elizabeth explained.

"Seriously? A Vacation?"

"Yep, for you and John. Carson; however…"

"Oh Elizabeth…no," Carson began.

"I'm sorry Carson, but it'll be a quick and easy mission, all you're doing is going with Lorne's team to vaccinate a few babies. That's it, nothing complicated about it."

"Aye, nothing's ever complicated abou' it, 'til I get involved."

"Carson," Elizabeth rebuked.

o0o

The planet and its inhabitants were pleasant; however if there was one thing Carson disliked vehemently about the planet was its lack of sanitization. He'd been horrified on his first trip to this planet when he'd watched them share needles back and forth. He'd spoken to the head medical doctor of the city at the time. The man had casually explained they didn't have enough supplies to just throw things away, so they did their best to sterilize and reuse things such as needles.

Carson found him self unable to truly believe the doctor when he'd watched the man stick a needle with blood stains on it, into another man's arm to draw blood.

He sighed as he removed the small child from his lap and smiled up at Ambrose, the head doctor of the small hospital. "All done," he offered.

"Actually, we just received a transmission…there is a young child at the northern edge of town in need of vaccinations…her mother has been unable to work or move and could not bring the child in. Would you like me to show you the way?"

"Nay lad, thank you though, I'm sure I can find me way. Contact us if ye need anythin' else Ambrose," Carson shook the man's hand; he then grabbed his medical bag along with his radio and headed out of the small hospital. "Major, this is Doctor Beckett."

"Lorne here, what's up Doc?"

"I've got a patient at the northern edge of the city…I should be done with the hour."

"All right Doc, we should be done by then as well…we'll meet you back at the gate in one hour."

"Very well Major, Beckett out."

o0o

He arrived at the small shack just over twenty minutes later, he smiled softly; it was a small house, simplistic to any eye. He gently rapped on the door and waited.

A small fragile elderly woman, with pepper gray hair opened the door and smiled at him, "Tova, you must be Dr. Beckett, please come in."

Carson had to smile; he finished up inoculating the two year old boy less than ten minutes later, when he moved over to the middle aged woman who lay on a bed near by. "Hello lass, my name is Carson, what is yours?" he asked as he reached out and pressed two of his fingers to her wrist, looking at his watch.

"I am…Protoka…You are the Miracle man?" she whispered in a horse voice.

He smiled as he gently probed her throat, "Miracle man? No lass, I'm a doctor…have ye been feelin' very tired lately?"

"Yes," she whispered.

"I thought so, get some sleep lass, I'm goin' to leave some medicine with ye're mother…ye'll be good before ye know it."

"Thank you," she whispered smiling up at him.

Carson nodded, pulling the blanket back up around her shoulders, and then moved back into the main room of the small house. "Ye're daughter is suffering from a very common illness called mononucleosis, it affects people with damaged or weakened immune systems…it's a fairly simple disease, she's going to need lots of sleep and liquids…give her this medicine two times a day for one short cycle…she should be up and around in a cycle's time."

"Thank you doctor."

"Ye're welcome lass," he gave the woman a soft smile before he headed out of the small house, leaving the people behind. He was ten minutes from the house, enjoying his surroundings and taking in the beauty of the planet when he heard an audible and familiar click from behind him, a click that sounded very close to the cocking of a gun.

Carson slowly turned around, his eyes growing wide at the sight in front of him.

o0o

Major Todd Lorne stood at the gate groaning for what seemed like the hundredth time, "has anyone seen Beckett?" He didn't actually expect any of his people to answer.

Dr. Katie Brown shook her head, four weeks ago Major Lorne's scientist had been seriously injured, and Carson had put the young man on lab duty only. Placing Lorne in the position of picking a new scientist; the major had come to Katie two days later, explained the situation and that he'd be honored if she'd consider joining his team. So here she was. "We haven't heard from him," She explained slightly.

"Just great, he's fifteen minutes later, damn it, Smith, contact Atlantis…let 'em know that we're going to be a little late in getting home."

"Do you want me to tell them Dr. Beckett is missing," the black sergeant inquired.

"Not yet, don't worry them…if he doesn't show up within an hour, we'll have them send reinforcements or something."

o0o

Carson stared at the barrel of the gun, holding steady only inches away from his forehead. He felt his heart freeze in his chest, and his blood run cold.

"They say you're a medicine man…that…that you can cure people," the man stated.

Carson looked at the man for a moment, he was probably a little shorter than Zelenka, he had dark, short black hair, pulsing green eyes that were sunken in. His face was thin, pale and drawn, it was obvious he was probably dying…and from something slow and painful. Carson also could tell that he could easily take the guy…if he didn't have a gun pointed within an inch of his nose. "I don't work miracles son…I just try an' help people."

"Then you will help me!" demanded the man, the gun never waving as he thrust it forward, almost hitting Carson.

"No offense lad, but I can't help ye with a gun in me face!" growled Carson in return, daring to bite back.

The safety was immediately removed with a click, causing Carson to flinch, his eyes growing wider, "you will either cure me or kill me, and those are your only two options."

Carson looked around nervously for anyone to help, but he was on the outskirts of town, no one was around for miles. He looked back at the man, "I don't even know ye…why don't ye just put the gun down and tell me what's wrong with ye."

"I'm dying, that's what's wrong! You're from the ancient city! I've heard them talk about you, you can fix me!"

"I…" it was like trying to explain death to a young child who was looking for all the answers.

"MOVE!" ordered the man as he shoved Carson forward. He wasn't stupid; Carson understood how deadly and dangerous the situation had just become. He'd seen people die slowly in his job, some handled it with dignity and grace, taking the pain and suffering upon them as though it was just another part of life. Others had trouble dealing with the truth, and generally lashed out and snapped at everyone around them. This man was obviously the latter of the two.

He carefully moved forward, looking for some way out of the situation that wouldn't end in his blood being spilt everywhere. He cursed to himself, where were John and Rodney when he needed them.

It was a ten minute hike to the shack this man obviously inhabited. It was a piece of crap, there were holes in the roof, the windows were busted in. Carson felt panic rise, knowing if he was forced into the house, there wouldn't be an easy way of getting out.

o0o

Elizabeth stood on the balcony, leaning against on of the many railings as she stared out into the ocean. Major Lorne had reported in six hours ago, explaining they'd be one hour later. An hour later they'd reported in that they required back up to search for one Dr. Carson Beckett. Now, after three hours of searching and coming up empty handed, they'd returned to Atlantis as the night had settled on the planet. They would return the next morning to continue they're search.

"Hey…thought I'd find you out here," Rodney's voice caused her to jump slightly. She shrugged as she felt his arms loop around her waist and pull her close. She sighed as she leaned her head against his chin.

"What have I done," she whispered.

"Excuse me?" Rodney asked suddenly as he gently looked down into her eyes, "Elizabeth…you're not seriously blaming yourself for this are you?"

"Who else should I blame?" she said suddenly whirling around to face him.

"Oh for cryin' out loud Liz! You know better than anyone that bad things happen. There's no rhyme or reason to it! Carson's a strong guy, he'll be fine…we'll find him and bring him home. But even with that, he would be furious knowing you're blaming him for something you had no control over. I won't let you sit here and blame yourself over this," he reached out and encircled her in his arms again, allowing her to lean back against his chest. "This isn't your fault, and we will find him. I promise you that."

"How's Laura doing?" Elizabeth whispered softly.

"She's hangin' in there; she's a strong woman…probably why they go so well together, compliment each other. Don't worry Liz; this is just another situation we're going to over come."

"I swear, if we find him, I'll never make him do another house call in all my life," she whispered, causing Rodney to chuckle softly as he pressed a kiss to her forehead.

o0o

Carson glared at the man who had held him captive for the past twenty-four hours. He'd learned in those twenty-four hours that the man's name was Jelob, and he was suffering from a disease he'd developed over the past five years. Carson didn't really want to break it to the man what the disease really was. However, Carson was also fairly sure that Jelob was on his last leg.

"What are you staring at?"

"Nothing," replied Carson getting annoyed with the man. "How long are ye goin' to keep me here, before ye finally believe I can't help you?"

"I don't believe you," the man stated, his gun still poised at doctor. "When I was a very small child a traveler form the Ancient city came to our world…I watched him heal my mother of the very same disease just by touching her…"

"Lad, I'm not an ancient! I can't do that…believe me I'd like to so I can go home!"

"I gave you your options Doctor, either you heal me or die with me."

"Ye wanna know what ye're dying from? I'll tell you ye're dyin' from a lack of sanitation…ye're people don't sterilize the needles they stick in ye're body. Ye're dying from something that twenty or thirty hundred other people on this planet are probably dyin' from! It's called Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome! It slowly kills the immune system in your body, until you're so weak you could die of the common cold!"

"SHUT UP!" screamed the man as he cocked the gun, instantly causing Carson to clamp his mouth closed.

"You will heal me Medicine Man…or you will die."

"I can't cure you Jelob…no one could, not on this planet, not on my planet, not even on Earth could they heal you. Hundreds of people die of this disease on my planet…because we can't stop it. What makes you think I can help you? Ye're dying!"

"No," the man growled, "I won't accept it, you know how to fix me!"

"We can sit here an' argue about it all ye want lad, but it isn't going to change the outcome, ye're dying, end of story…I'm sorry this happened to ye… but I'm not the miracle ye're looking for. My guess is you've know you were dyin' for a long time now. See as I met ye back two or three months ago and ye looked terrible even then when I gave you the antibiotics for your flu."

"I'm dying a painful death…fine then…kill me, just put me out of my misery," his words slipping out as more of a beg than anything.

"I can't do that Jelob…I'm sorry."

"Why not?"

"It's not my place to take your life."

"Then you will suffer with me!"

o0o

Elizabeth stood beside Charlie, the Technician and looked down at her friends, "bring him home," she said softly looking from John to Rodney.

"We will Elizabeth," John returned as he nodded to her. He looked around, Major Lorne's team, Cadman, Ronan, Teyla and Rodney all returned his glance, "Okay everyone, we don't come home until we find our doctor. Move out."

Elizabeth watched them all disappear into the event horizon, before glancing back at Charlie and offering him a small smile, "let me know when they've returned."

"Yes ma'am."

Elizabeth stepped into her office and looked at the two year old sitting on the floor as she colored in a book from earth. Two ocean blue eyes looked up at her, and a smiled danced across the child's cherub face. "Mommy, wook!" the girl held up the book to show Elizabeth her beautiful coloring job.

Elizabeth chuckled softly, leaning down she lifted the child up into her arms, resting the girl against her hip and she moved over to the window, sighing as Lauryn laid her head against Elizabeth's shoulder.

"Mommy sad?" She asked quietly, playing with one of Elizabeth's curls.

"Mommy's a little worried right now honey," replied Elizabeth as she looked at the gate she'd just sent her best people through.

"Don't worry Mommy," the girl spoke suddenly as she sat up and looked at Elizabeth, "Unca John says onwee worry 'bout fings you can change," she explained wisely.

Elizabeth smiled as she suddenly hugged the girl close again, thanking whoever was paying attention for such a perfect little gift as this child. "Thank you Lauryn, Mommy needed that," she whispered as she cuddled the child.

"Love mommy," she whispered clearly.

"I love you too angel," Elizabeth replied, she smiled softly at the pet name they'd given her, she was an angel. Even more she was their angel, Rodney's and Elizabeth's angel.

o0o

Two more days passed by, Carson got little water and even less food. He was growing tired of this man's persistence, it was obvious that Jelob expected to either be killed or healed by Carson, neither of which Carson could do. As each day rolled by the man only grew sicker, and eviler.

His friends continued to search for him, never finding their best friend. For two days they'd been away from Atlantis, standing firm in their decision to return only when they'd found Carson. They'd radioed back to Atlantis every twelve hours with little to report and a heavy burden on his shoulders.

Carson was listening to the man's tirade again; about how he'd kill Carson unless the doctor created some miracle. That's when Carson spotted it, the gun on the table. Something in his mind just snapped as he looked at the weapon, it was very similar to earth's 9mm. Carson glared at the man's back, he wanted nothing more than to shut the man up, he was easily ten times more annoying that Rodney.

As if some primal instinct of survival of the fittest kicked in, Carson reached out and grabbed the gun, it never waved in his strong hands. He pointed it directly at Jelob.

The man turned, his bloodshot eyes met Carson's and he grinned almost wickedly, "Are you going to kill me miracle man? Have I finally broken you? Have I finally convinced you that death will free you? Go ahead Doctor, pull the trigger, deep down you'll be murdering someone. Your kidnapper; who deserves to die more than your assailant. You know you want to kill me," the man goaded.

Carson felt his stomach tighten; sweat began to roll down his face, tears filling his weary blue eyes. The gun began to shake in his hand, was it true what this man had said. Every man had a breaking point….he'd been a good man; when had everything suddenly changed. It wasn't just this distinct moment, he'd hurt people, almost killed people. His mind raced at the thought of what he had done to Michael. He'd been on his way to a Nobel Prize back on earth for his gene therapy…now he'd never practice on Earth again.

If he pulled the trigger he'd be murdering another person, and no matter how he looked at it, it would be in cold blood. If he didn't shoot this man, he'd be stuck here forever until the man died or killed himself. "Come on doctor, you know you want all of this over," the man continued.

Carson's eyes narrowed, his thumb went to the safety button: when suddenly the door burst open, Teyla, Rodney and John stood in the door way, guns drawn pointing at the man Carson held the gun to.

"Dear God, what took you so long," Carson whimpered as the gun slipped from his grip the ground where it clattered with a resounding thud.

John grabbed the dying man by the arms and hauled him out of the house, while Teyla and Rodney approached their friend, "you okay?" Rodney asked.

"No," he said faintly looking up at his best friend.

"Come, let's go home," Teyla said softly as she led Carson from the small shack.

o0o

He stepped into the infirmary and looked around; it was dark, as though someone had purposely turned the lights off to get away from everything. At least that's what he assumed. He sighed; they'd been home for all of about five hours…the first hour had been a hot shower, food and a shave. The second hour had been a short briefing, in which he had been eerily silent, only responding when a question could be answered with as few words as possible. The third hour had been the darkest hour, Carson had disappeared from view…he'd been missing every since. "Everyone's searching for you…just for the record."

He was met only with silence, but he didn't mind, he knew Carson was here. He could hear the sound of harsh breathing, sob like breathing; he could sense the man somewhere in this room. He moved forward another step, like Carson he knew this place like the back of his hand. Part of him was fairly sure that was because of all his frequent visits here. "They're pretty concerned; with reason. You've got everyone going crazy."

Once again there was no response; nodding Rodney continued to move forward, until the figure finally came into view. Huddled in a corner on the floor, knees pulled up to his chest, face buried in his arms. Rodney took a moment, trying to decide what to say to his hurting friend. He'd never really seen Carson cry…he'd only really ever seen Elizabeth and Laura cry. He didn't know how to handle a guy crying, however as much as he wanted to shy away, or get one of the girls to handle it; he was aware that Carson needed a friend, his best friend.

So with a calm breath, Rodney decided to do what he knew Carson would do for him; and he sat down right beside his best friend, drawing his own knees up to his chest, resting his elbows on his knees he watched the doctor for a moment. "I can't pretend to understand what you're feeling right now…but I can tell you I know what it feels like to have the gun in your hand…ready to fire…feeling the rush, the temptation to end it all…all your suffering and pain. I also know you're probably angry, and I can understand that too…I mean hell, you and me, we weren't meant to kill…that's not why we're here. You're a healer Carson, you know that, you're not supposed to protect people with you guns, you're supposed to heal with your hands. You faced a tough decision today…probably one of the toughest decisions you'll ever have to make. You'll never get used to it, the pain will never go way; in fact all I can give you is that with time, and trusting your friends, the possibilities of what could have, would have or should have happened will fade to a distant memory."

"I'll never be able to go home Rodney," came the weak whisper.

"Me either," murmured Rodney in reply, "none of us will…we've done some pretty bad things, we all have. We understand the feeling of guilt you're getting. We've all made mistakes…every man has his limit Carson…it wasn't something I truly believed until I came here and found myself in the hands of the Genii. You don't realize your boundaries until you're nearly pushed over the edge."

"I've aimed a gun twice, perhaps three times in my entire life time…I've never truly shot to kill anyone…I was taught how, John requires it…"

"But nothing will ever prepare you for the moment you actually consider pulling the trigger?"

"How can I practice medicine…how can I even pretend that I'm a good man…when I was ready to kill a man for driving me to the brink…I was ready to kill him…I nearly played right into his hand Rodney. He wanted to die! That was his plea everyday, fix him or kill him!"

Carson finally looked up at his friend; his face was pasty white tear tracks lining his cheeks, his eyes red and soaked. "I'm not a doctor!" he cried.

Rodney allowed his instincts to lead him, and he slowly pulled his best friend into a hug, holding the physician as the man clung to the life line and sobbed. "Yes Carson, you are a doctor; you're just scared, confused. I understand Carson…I'm here," he whispered. "For as long as you need."

It wasn't much, but it gave Carson the chance he needed to heal, to know that a friend cared deeply about him. It was something he'd been searching for the past four days. He missed home; he missed those who cared for him.


End file.
